but i am always so lost

anonymous asked:

i know this is kind of shallow but how did you gain followers so fast? i used to have a ton just being myself at my old blog, and now at my new blog doing the same things i have been stuck at a very low follower count for like a year.

Dear if i had the answer for this, i would tell you.

I don’t even know when it happened, this 4 years have been running pretty fast for me, I’ve changed a lot, I’ve lost and won, and people just… stuck with me?

Even at this point I am not sure what made so many people stay here with me, I LOVE THEM ALL a lot and even though I am flattered I always ask people to please avoid calling me popular or thinking higher on me because after all I am a human like all of you.

Mostly that a number or an audience I like to think of y followers as potential new friends or people I, in one way or another, need to take care of. I find happiness in helping people, being positive, giving advices, talking sweet and being as good as I can, not for me, but for everyone who deserves sweetness, and everyone who is having a sour time right now.

I think it may be that? I don’t do any of that for a fake fame or a need for people to stay (as I’ve said if you don’t like my content or me anymore you are free to leave), I do it because it’s what feels right to me, I love helping people being better, it makes me feel… big, I don’t care a lot about me (I think i suck ass tbh… in the bad way), but I feel some sort of attachment for the people who comes here, they are expecting something and I want to give everyone the best of me, without lying to them in the process, just my honest self.

anonymous asked:

Your preference - In MX who do you think has thicc thighs?? from most to least thicc?? sorry im curious LOLOL

THICC THIGHS. I AM HERE FOR THICC THIGHS i AM SCREECHING. @urmomstax also answered this, but we flipped minhyuk and kihyun. i stand by it. minhyuk has thicker (more rideable) thighs. 

  1. wonho! (bc!! he is still thicker in general. as minhyuk says, his thighs are thicc and whatever minhyuk says, is true)
  2. jooHEON (used to be #1, but lost lot of weight SO HE LOST THE THICC A LITTLE)
  3. shownu (he’s just so… big. like. he could break me like a twig with his thighs and i’d thank him)
  4. changkyun!! (has really nice thighs but rarely wears tight pants bc big dick)
  5. minhyuk (thin, but you can still ride em ayyye i’m sorry my bias is showing. he has really nice thighs tho? like in that one screeshot where kihyun lifts him, he looks so fucking biteable)
  6. kihyun (kihyun’s hairy legs are the reason i live, but also yes, pretty thick. thinner now with recent weightloss)
  7. hyungwon (toothpicks)

you know who has… really… nice… thighs?? JINKI

6

Australia, you are so special. Look to the person next to you and say ‘you are so special.’  It’s okay to let that guard down sometimes. It’s okay to show that vulnerability. We’re all human we’re all going through the same things. Maybe different, but we’re all hurting inside. So lets stick together” 

As an INFP I...

-procrastinate 24/7
-never sleep when I should
-cry too much about small things
-automatically take things personally
-say the worst puns
-never read or follow instructions
-always lose track of time
-am never sure of anything
-forget all practical information
-always get lost irl and in my thoughts
-never know anything for sure
-am super clumsy
-worry too much about tiny disagreements
-talk to myself, a lot
-sing songs about everything
-am an emotional rollercoaster
-make things awkward

i love you. [delete]
did you ever love me? [delete]
was i just somebody you used to make you feel better about yourself? [delete]
well, here’s me making you feel better about yourself: you’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met in my life. nobody could ever take your place. i love you more than words can say. [delete]
yeah, you fucked me over, but i still think you’re great. i don’t know if that says more about me or more about you. i don’t know if that makes me pathetic or kindhearted. i always saw the good in you. [delete]
i know i didn’t always act like you were important to me. i’m sorry for that. i’m sorry i didn’t shove it down your throat every day, tell you that you were worth everything to me; i’m sorry i held your mistakes against you so much. i’m sorry i didn’t realize you were struggling too. [delete]
you’re still the first person i want to tell anything to. like did you hear who our ex-friend is hooking up with? did you see that facebook status? did you see that car crash on route 29? did you know there are more microbes on your body than people on earth? [delete]
i know i said leave but i really meant i’ll be waiting for you to come back. my friends say it’s not permanent; i can go back whenever i want to. i know i can but i left for a reason. it hurts so much that you don’t want me. [delete]
i keep thinking i can convince you to choose me. who wouldn’t want someone who loves them this much? i want to shower you with compliments just so you realize what you lost. [delete]
but i also want you to know you’re special. i want you to know somebody loves you, even if they’re far away. i want you to know how you lifted my spirits by just existing. [delete]
but then i think: where’s my “i love you”? where’s my “thank you for existing”? where’s my “you’re special” and “i appreciate you” and “you’re important to me”? why am i always the one trying to make this work? why don’t you value me? [delete]
you told me you’d always answer my text messages, probably even in your sleep. i can’t believe someone so goddamn beautiful could do such ugly things. [delete]
—  delete delete delete
Literally just all the sexual things Alexander Hamilton sent to John Laurens


“I love you.”

This one is pretty self explanatory. Men were much more intimate back in the 1700′s, forming bonds that seem very ~gay~ in today’s light. Homosexuality wasn’t a very understood thing back then because rigid moral codes and censured education prevented people from learning more about sexuality.

 But Alexander Hamilton knew.

 He grew up on an island where ‘Sodomites’ (gay people) were dumped and  allowed to mingle with the island population. Alex knew that there was a certain zone of interactions between men that went from being merely friendly to sexual. He clearly steps into the bounds of sexual while fully realizing it.

“In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I [- - - - - -].”

Ahhhhhhhhh my son Alex, could you be more explicit? Alex here is obviously referring to his something else (you know) with the knowledge that John Lauren’s knows the size. This sentence right here is basically just one long ;).

 “Your friend” seems to be written teasingly, as if they both know how far from friends they are.

And we can only guess how dirty Alex got in those last six  CUT OUT words.

“Dear Boy” [sent by John Laurens]

John laurens calls his wife his ‘dear girl’, and here he calls Alex his ‘dear boy’.  Moreover, Laurens did not call any other man he ever wrote to as his ‘dear boy’. Laurens seems to see Alex as on the same level, if not higher, as his own wife.

“Did I mean to show my wit? If I did, I am sure I have missed my aim. Did I only intend to [frisk]? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend.”

This phrase right here I unfortunately do not see a lot when people talk about Alex and John’s letters. This, to me, is one of the most explicit. “Wit” also mean one’s you know what (here I give a nod to the Ravenclaw moto), so Hamilton’s saying he was pretty much just messing around with John the last letter he sent. This is the only sort of “intercourse” he is able to have with John, as they are both so far apart. He is incapable of ‘sexual’ intercourse because of their distance, so he feels he must, in the 18th century way, sext.

“I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.”

As you might have already guessed, Alex is inviting John to a threesome on his wedding night. The idea that Alex feels so at ease inviting John to a threesome with his wife suggests they have already had something going for a long time now. 

“But like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued. I had almost resolved to lavish no more of them upon you and to reject you as an inconstant and an ungrateful –”

Here Alex compares himself to John’s lover, and a jealous one at that. John seems to be shying away from Alex’s bawdiness, as if realizing how strange their relationships is in retrospect. Alex is scrambling to hang on to him, even though he knows well what are and what happens to Sodomites. He would do anything for John while knowing the consequences. And John is too afraid to join him. And who the hell knows what the last word was.

“And believe me, I am lover in earnest,”

*cough cough* looks like John knows exactly what happens when Alex’s feeling frisky.

“She [Eliza] loves you a l'americaine not a la francoise.”

The French were renowned for their relaxed stance on extramarital love affairs, while Americans were more Puritan-minding and thought love affairs only should happen in church-sanctioned marriages. Thus Eliza has an a l’americaine love of John Laurens, rather than an a la francoise.

“You will be pleased to recollect in your negotiations that I have no invincible antipathy to the maidenly beauties & that I am willing to take the trouble of them upon myself.”

*cough* this sentence is a bit confusing, and could be taken a few ways. What I infer from this is that Alexander Hamilton is willing, and John knows this, to assume an air of femininity because he finds no fault with it. It was commonly noted by people who wrote of Hamilton that he was very feminine in comparison with other men of his day. Alex’s femininity seems to please John, the topic even having been discussed between the two in ‘negotiations’.

“My ravings are for your own bosom” Alex desperately misses Laurens’ intimate contact in a way that, in my opinion, could never be mistaken as simply friendship. Alex literally wants to be held by John. How fucking heartbreaking is that.

“Yrs for ever”

Ok, this one isn’t sexual, but I had to add it because it is so heartbreaking. This was Alex’s last farewell note to John. That is, if he even received it. He died shortly after Alex sent the letter; whether he read the farewell or not is all lost to history. Alex loved John so much, despite the fact that both already had a wife. He would have always loved him, even if they had grown apart…

That’s it folks: time for me to cry.

and then there was me, a queer girl in the catholic church with traditional parents. i grew up with a fingernail caught in my throat. i changed the words to songs so i’d be singing about boys. i was scared of “gay”. my mother told me it meant happy but i knew it meant being pushed to the floor of the bus. i remember my bible school teacher telling us that the greatest sin a woman can have is not giving a man her love. i remember realizing i liked girls and putting it in a box i labelled dirty and couldn’t bring myself to touch. when i came out i had to ask if my parents still loved me, like the idea of their acceptance ended where my sexuality began. they pull back when i accidentally slip and admit i like a girl. they promise the church doesn’t hate us, just doesn’t let us get married under god’s roof with god present. oh it’s a fine marriage, we accept it, but technically in the eyes of the church i’m living in sin. it would be better if i liked men. when i was 7 i was sure i was going to unhappily marry a man just to make my parents happy. at 23 i might marry a man just to make my parents happy.

god was this hard thing we couldn’t figure out how to handle. god came beyond the doors of the church. my god answered me at night but reminded me to cower. my god killed my brothers and sisters in the hands of others. how am i to reconcile that god that felt like love and belonging with the god called down in conversion camps. how am i to say i love the light of god when i have seen it burn the flesh of others.

i watch it still. for a while i was spitting and hissing and wouldn’t let god near me. i think it was better then, when i had shut my doors to the idea of it. once i tried to find god again i found myself desperately lost in the forest.

i was always so alone in church. always different. it wasn’t until i mentioned it once in an online chat that i found someone else who had gone through the same thing. how terrible, to form a community of people who have all been cast out. how powerful.

we, together, discussing at two a.m if god is real and if she is where she begins and ends. my brothers and sisters and family - we are all so strong for having survived this. for having been spat out by what should have accepted us. that first community. that first slap. the book that taught us not all books are homes. the book that i spent hours combing over looking for where my flaws were entombed. that curse that keeps following us, doggedly, just when we thought we shook it off - watching others take god as an excuse to punish us, to put into law our discrimination, to enact and enforce violence against us. “god loves you,” we were told. is this what god looks like? our first relationship with abuse?

i am stuck with an eternity of questions. can we find our own god? can we find her in each other? do we leave god entirely, and just find love in the stories of us lost lambs? is god worth it? was the word of god really to ruin us? is god even to blame for any of this, or is this how humans are when they find something to hit? 

all i know is this: i am not alone. and if you’re like me, come to me. talk. i’ll listen. god only knows nobody else did.

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’
‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’
‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’
‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’
‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’
‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’
‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’
‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’
‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’
‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’
‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’
‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’
‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’
‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’
‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’
‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’
‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’
‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’
‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’
‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’
‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’
‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’
‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’
‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’
‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’
‘  please don’t go.  ’
‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’
‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’
‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’
‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’
‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’
‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’
‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’
‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’
‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’
‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’
‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’
‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’
‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’
‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’
‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’
‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’
‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’
‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’
‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’
‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’
‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’
‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’
‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’
‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’
‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’
‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’
‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’
‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’
‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’
‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’
‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’
‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’
‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’
‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’
‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’
‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’
‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’
‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’
‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’
‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’
‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’
‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’
‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’
‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’
‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’
‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’
‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’
‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’
‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’
‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’
‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’
‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’
‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’
‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’
‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’
‘  would you even miss me?  ’
‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’
‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’
‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’
‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’
‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’
‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’
‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’
‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’
‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’
‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’
‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’
‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’
‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’
‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’
‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’
‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’
‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’


A Tarot Spread For When You’re Feeling Lost

A tarot spread for when you’re feeling lost, you’re not sure who you are and how you got to this point in your life. When it’s hard to live with yourself or love yourself, for when you’re feeling stagnant or exhausted. Let this spread help you grow and help you love, you deserve to love yourself because you are each a wondrous and divine body of stardust and magic. It’s time you see that.

The First Card: This expresses how you are feeling. Sometimes we get so caught up in life and in our problems that it’s hard to tell exactly what you’re feeling other than a sense of being lost. Before you can remove blockage from your life you need to know what it is. How am I feeling, are there inner issues I’m not aware of?

The Second Card and Third Card: Now that you have a better understanding of what you’re feeling it’s time to see what brought you here. We don’t always know how we got where we are in our life, it can pass by quickly and suddenly you look up and everything around you is a forest covered in dense fog. How did you get here?

The Fourth Card: You should have a better idea of how you are feeling and what brought you here. It is time to take look at how your feelings and energies are affecting the rest of your life. What are my energies/feeling affecting in my life? 

The Fifth Card: You should have a clear vision of the issue now, and the fog should start to fade to fade away. It is time to rise up, pull out your sword and stand strong. How can I confront this issue, how do I find the courage?

The Sixth Card: You have found a way to come this far in life and you should be so proud of yourself. You have stood up to yourself, your demons, your sorrows, whatever it is that’s hindering you and darkening your life. How do I let go, forgive and move on from this?

The Seventh and Eighth Card: You may not be feeling much better, while you’re ready to face the challenge having to reopen old wounds can be exhausting. Confronting yourself is a challenge, it’s time to take care of yourself and heal. What act of self-care can I do to help me heal, what is my first step on practicing self-care?

You can see some of my readings and spreads here and you can get your own reading by me here. 💖

I joined tumblr back in November 2012 because of CS and their beautiful journey that has just begun.

I remember tagging everything “emma x hook” because we didn’t come up with a name yet. I remember everyone analyzing the hell out of Tallahassee and giffing every second of it. I remember how we called each other “beans”.

I remember freaking out about 2x09 because someone posted these photos WEEKS before that episode aired

I remember analyzing pictures from set in which Hook was in docks with Cora and a swan and headcanoning it as cursed Emma (still… why the hell did they brought swans on set???).

I remember crying from joy because look at this gif! In this shot Emma is so close to Hook’s hook! almost like a….. FORESHADOWING??

I remember freaking out because CS WAS IN A TIMELESS LOVE STORIES PROMO AMONG OTHER TRUE LOVE COUPLES!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember dying because they gave us hospital scene sneak peek from 2x12 (it happened on my birthday okay, my friend who came over was really scared, that’s how much I was freaking out)

I remember PaleyFest 2013. When the possibility of CS was mentioned for the first time out loud.

And dying again because

and

and

I remember how we had nothing for MONTHS. Only a 5 second long scene in 2x15 where Emma knocks Hook out and then talks with Neal about him.

But then the unthinkable happened. We were blessed with these photos from set!!! Memes were made! Hundreds of edits! And we all had to wait over a month for that episode to air!

You think that’d be enough to make us go crazy? Hah! You have no idea what happened after this

and then being dead after season 2 finale…

…and resurrected again because Comic Con happened. THIS happened

and then all the talk about CS being kindred spirits??? (x) (x) I MEAN….

That’s enough to kill us before s3 even starts right? NOPE. THIS HAPPENED.

AND THIS.

AND THEN THE PROMO

AND LET’S NOT EVEN MENTION THIS

Anyway, my point is it all happened before The Kiss. Hell, before season 3 even started! We were called delusional so many times, I lost count. But we endured. We had to wait months for a little scene but we never gave up.

And look where we are now. CS are married and rode off into the sunset to catch bad guys together. And they lived happily ever after.

I cannot tell how grateful I am for being a part of this fandom. You guys and this ship will always be a part of my soul. I won’t come back for season 7 but that doesn’t mean I’m leaving this fandom. We’ve been through too much together for me to give up so easily. Even tho ouat has been slowly deteriorating with its plot holes and lazy writing, CS has always been magical to watch.

It pains me that this is the end and we’ll never see some milestones but I’m so happy for experiencing what we did with you. That was one hell of a journey. But remember guys…

Peace out!

The truth is that I’m afraid to dive into someone new. How can I not be? I’m still emptying my lungs from the last time I fell into someone’s waters and explored the depths of them. It’ll be years before I’m done wringing the wetness out of my hair, before I stop smelling the salt of their oceans on my skin. Learning someone new is frightening now. It’s not the adventure it was before. I’m no longer bitter for my heartbreak. My reluctance isn’t a decision I made with a sour mouth. I’m just exhausted by the idea of feeling for someone new. Of treading water with small talk and stories about our childhoods. When I think of him, I am afraid of sinking so deeply into someone again that I am lost to them. In that, I realize I am most afraid that I won’t sink at all. That I’ll always be treading water with anyone that isn’t him. That anyone after him will only know how to meet me at the surface.
—  pardis alia.
As she bends for a Kleenex in the dark, I am thinking of other girls: the girl I loved who fell in love with a lion–she lost her head over it–we just necked a lot; of the girl who fell in love with the tightrope, got addicted to getting high wired and nothing else was enough; all the beautiful, damaged women who have come through my life and I wonder what would have happened if I’d met them sooner, what they were like before they were so badly wounded. All this time I thought I’d been kissing, but maybe I’m always doing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, kissing dead girls in hopes that the heart will start again. Where there’s breath, I’ve heard, there’s hope.
—  Daphne Gottlieb

y'all remember in TLO (the last olympian) how annabeth took that knife for percy even though she was completely defenseless? she didn’t know where percy’s achilles heel was until later, and although she knew he was invincible, she still took a poisoned knife for him. and later we learn that if she hadn’t saved percy, he would have died because somehow ethan nakamura had been targeting his back (where his achilles heel was). sometimes i think that if percy had died, a small part of annabeth would have died too. we already know how she worried over him when he was missing/taken by hera (ugh), and clearly we should not for a second, ever doubt that percy loves annabeth more, or that she doesn’t love him enough. i feel as if we’re a bit more biased towards percy (ngl, I am), but we’ve had an entire series from his point of view and so we never really got to understand annabeth’s emotions and viewpoint on percy for the entire first series. yeah, percy jumping in tartarus for annabeth was a dam(n) great sacrifice, but always remember the pjo series when annabeth shielded percy, when she herself wasn’t sure if she was going to live.

My desires in a relationship have changed over time. I no longer want someone who promises to always love me and never leave me, I need someone who understands that life happens and sometimes things don’t work out. I don’t want someone who sugar coats things and never gets angry with me, I need someone to tell me how it really is and put me in my place. I need to be able to go five hours without talking to you and not feel lost or incomplete. I am complete without you. But with you, I want to be so much better. I want to be stronger with you. I want us to grow together and help each other grow individually. I don’t need you, but I really fucking want you. And this may not work out, but the fact that you understand all of this and this is how our relationship works, makes me think we’ve got a pretty good shot.
prince in training

~3k, rated T

Sterek ficlet inspired by this: “i grew up not knowing i was royal and now i guess i’m heir to a throne and you’re the guy who’s supposed to be teaching me how to be royal bc i suck at it and oops we made out” au

This is kind of Princess-Diaries-ish. I know that’s been done before in this fandom (and thank god it has—it’s awesome), but I couldn’t help myself. Yay for self-indulgence!

*

Stiles thought the most annoying thing about suddenly being a royal heir to a small eastern European kingdom he’s never heard of would be the hyper-aggressive paparazzi, but he was dead wrong.

The most annoying thing is actually Derek Hale, the guy Stiles’ grandmother hired to teach Stiles how not to screw this up.

“Princes don’t chew with their mouths open, Stiles.”

“Princes don’t shove an entire fistful of curly fries in their mouths, Stiles.”

“Princes don’t wear pink-and-green plaid shirts from Target, Stiles.”

“Princes don’t slouch.”

They don’t slump, either, or yawn or sneeze or cough in public, or fist-pump, or drive beat-up old blue Jeeps, or wear bright colors, or rock out to the radio, or do anything fun.

Keep reading

My Weight Loss Journey:

Left - I started at my heaviest weight @148 lbs about three years ago. I always was teased about my weight and I wasn’t happy about my body so I decided to change for myself. Eating healthy and working out wasn’t easy all the time. Weight loss was full of slip up’s and guilt trips, for me anyway.

Right - In summer 2016, I was at my lowest weight @120 lbs. I was proud of what I accomplished over the years - mentally and physically. Through all the strict dieting and “wow, you lost weight.”

Currently: I am @125 lbs, still striving to be the best version of myself. Through this journey, i’ve learnt to be mentally and physically stronger to push myself beyond my comfort zone. I’m not even close to my goals and I am currently still fighting for it everyday.

Work hard and Trust the process. 🔪

Friendly reminder

That whilst Harry lost his parents, that day, Minerva MC Gonagall lost four of her students. One of them used to be a head girl the other the head boy and all of them were her dear friends. Who btw. where also part of the order. She hears that Sirius Black. **Sirius Black** , Potter’s best friend , killed him, his wife and Peter Pettigrew, also one of his closest mates. She learned that , without reason but only the order of a dark lord, he killed his friends and laughed at their corpses.

She learns that their lovely son will grow up without knowing his parents.
She hears that he will have to stay with the muggles who hate him and his kin. And don’t tell me she didn’t know that.

Then, 11 years later she meets the boy and he looks just like James. Except for his eyes. Of course. Don’t tell me she didn’t , just for a second, felt that thug in her stomach. The grief. Don’t tell me she didn’t want the very best for that boy so many people loved and lived and died for.
(Because I honestly don’t think Remus wanted to keep on going after he heard what happened)

Then, again, two years later it turns out that Black is actually innocent. Don’t you think she felt absolutely horrible and guilty for letting him being shipped off to azkaban when he was in fact innocent. FOR 12 BLOODY YEARS!!!

And then, in Harry ’s fifth year Black fucking dies?? I mean, bugger off arsehole! Sirius Black, finally free. And then? He falls into the bloody veil and leaves as well. He wasn’t even hit by the bloody avada kadavra! By that time she lost four of her former students!

And last but not least. Two years later. Remus Lupin dies. As the last of the mauraders, he dies with his wife’s hand clasped in his own.


DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW AWFUL IT HAD TO BE FOR MINERVA BLOODY MC GONAGALL? A TEACHER THAT OUTLIVED HER OWN STUDENTS. THE STUDENTS THAT WERE THE VERY HEART AND SOUL TO HER HOUSE? WHO WERE ALWAYS JUMPING AROUND, PRANKING PEOPLE AND ALWAYS, I MEAN ABSOLUTELY ALWAYS FOUND A WAY TO CHEER OTHER PEOPLE UP?

and it didn’t even stop there. I mean, she had to watch her own pupils die once again during the battle of hogwarts. Just so she could then, later on, be the headmaster for their sons and daughters and brothers and sisters.

ALL I WANT TO SAY IS:

SHE NEVER GAVE UP. SHE NEVER LOST HOPE. SO, THANKS MINERVA MC GONAGALL FOR BEING SUCH A BADASS.

SO, SHOUT OUT TO
MINERVA MC GONAGALL

I am inlove with a boy who likes kicking stones on the ground; he never looks up.

I am inlove with a boy who never keeps eye contact because he thinks it’s dangerous to let people see his eyes, but by some miracle I saw it; it was beautiful.

I am inlove with a boy who smiles and hides it; but little does he know, I see it all; I see the way his eyes sparkle just before he looks down and smiles at the ground.

I am inlove with a boy who likes to get lost in a book, so he doesn’t have to deal with the world; much like the way I do.

I am inlove with a boy who doesn’t have all the right words to say, but says it anyway; and he’s so beautiful I always find myself catching my breath.

I am inlove with a boy who feels trap; but he laughs with that laugh that keeps me on my feet; and I’m happy I’m one of the few ones who gets to see it; and I’m secretly foolishly selfishly hoping he won’t show it to anyone else.

I am inlove with a boy who feels so much of everything; and keeps himself from showing that he does; but I know and I understand.

I am inlove with a boy who never sees me; because he only looks up for one person; she’s his only exception.

I am inlove with a boy who’s in love with someone else; he’s secretly hoping maybe she’ll see him despite him hiding; but she doesn’t.

I am inlove with a boy who’s heart is breaking; the same way as mine.

—  waferqueen, I am in love with a boy who will never get to read this. I am in love with a boy who will never know.
Midnight Talks Pt. Two || Peter Parker Imagine

Originally posted by optimus-grimes

(not my gif)

Word Count: 938 Words

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

A/N: I tried my best (that’s a lie, i didn’t even grammar check it), I hope you all enjoy

Part One

“So Y/N, how was your, um, your night last night?” Peter asked as he started eating his lunch. All day, all you could think about was last night. Spider-Man randomly showed up in your room. In what world does that actually happen to someone? You looked down at your lunch, trying to figure out what to tell him, Ned and Michelle who suddenly got interested in the conversation due to lack of an answer.

“It was uh, good actually, watched a funny movie. Why do you ask?” You question back at him. You didn’t tell him about the whole Spider-Man thing because you didn’t know if the man in the mask wanted you to tell people. Peter looked down at his lunch tray. “Just curious, that’s all. What about you guys,” he looked between Ned and Michelle, “how were your nights?” He asked. Peter didn’t want to seem suspicious if he only asked you. He knew what you actually did last night, you were with him. Well, his alter ego. Did you not trust him enough to tell him about it?

As Ned began to explain his action packed night of binge watching old movies, you began to play with your food, lost in thought about the city’s hero, Spider-Man. He was funny, and kind of cool. Not everyone gets to talk to him which made the entire situation even better than it already was.  

Peter looked over and saw you playing with your food. He turned to see if Ned was still talking to him but he was now talking to Michelle. “Hey,” Peter said as he turned to you, “you okay? You seem a bit out of it.” He sounded worried about you. You nodded your head yes, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Did you stay up all night watching movies?” He asked with a small smile, knowing exactly what you did. “How’d you know?” You said sarcastically, knowing that you told him earlier. “Lucky guess.” He said with a shrug, playing along with the whole thing. The two of you quietly laughed at the situation.  

What the two of you didn’t hear was Michelle and Ned talking about you. “You think  they’re ever going to date?” Ned whispered to Michelle. “Oh definitely.” She said before getting back to reading her book.

It was late at night, again. But this time, you were busy doing your homework. You only had a few more problems you needed to do. You sighed, getting anxious for the sleep you so desperately needed. You went to open your window, wanting to hear the sounds of the city. You went back to your homework area and glanced at the time on your phone to see that it was 11:50. Jesus, these high school teachers are draining the life out of you. Forgetting about your homework, you stayed on your phone for a few minutes. All of a sudden, a wind washed over you. You look up and see Spider-Man.

He came here on purpose this time, he wanted to see you. At least that’s what you understood. “How is is it that Spider-Man has been in my room, not just once, but twice now?” You asked with a humorous sound lacing your voice. You saw him shrug his shoulders as he went to sit on your bed. “I guess I just like talking to you.” He said as he jumped up onto your bed, and crossing his legs Indian style. Spider-Man patted a seat next to him, indicating you to go and sit with him.

You got on the bed and crossed your legs the way that he had done. “What do you want to talk about?” You asked as you started playing with your hands out of nervousness.  

“I don’t know….tell me about your life. Your crush your favorite things, your friends, really anything.” Spider-Man said. You cleared your throat before speaking again. “My friends are the most awesome people on the planet. They are always nice and understanding.  I would be lost without them, really.” You said looking up at him.

“Are you popular?” He asked curiously. You shook your head immediately. “No, I hang out with the same three people everyday. If anything, I am one of the most unpopular kids at my school.”

“How could you be unpopular?” He asked with a surprised tone, “You’re  the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen.” You blushed at the statement. Another plus, he is super sweet. “T-Thanks.”

“So, do you have a crush on anyone?” He questioned with a voice that made him sound like a dramatic 5th grader. This made you smile. “He, he is just something else you know what I mean? He’s different then any other guy that I have ever met. He is just such a good person with a big heart and he is crazy smart. He uh, just got an internship at Stark Industries. What teenager gets that opportunity?” You told Spider-Man all this, venting to a man you don’t even know.

“Sounds like he’s a pretty cool guy. What’s his name? Maybe I can help you with your relationship.” He said the last part mockingly. Peter knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted you to admit your feelings for him even if you weren’t telling the real Peter. He just wanted to hear you say those words.

You smiled widely thinking of the boy who had you wrapped around his finger. “His name is-”


“Peter! What’s up?” You said as you ran to catch up with him. He turned and smiled at you, “Hey Y/N.”

Part Three