but i am a little sorry about this

One Of The Boys// Part  II

I am so fricking sorry that I haven’t posted in a while, but I had a bad writer’s block. I’m not really happy about the way this turned out, but I didn’t want you to wait any longer. This will also be not the last part of this story and  I would be so thankful if you could send me some story line ideas.

Hope you like it. xx (Typos and grammatical mistakes are probably everywhere, but whatever.) 

Summary: You and Shawn are best friends. Little did he know that you are in love with him. Unfortunately he is only looking at you like a little sister.

Shawn x Reader


“You are what?!” His face was showing pure surprise. You looked at him with a small smile and shrugged. Without giving his muffin another look, he placed it on the table, clearly having no appetite anymore.

“Look, it’s not like I’m leaving forever. I just wanted to do something new for once.” You tried to explain the sudden vacation plans you’ve made.

Few days ago you decided to change your appearance a little, but it was harder than you thought it would be, plus having Shawn around all the time, he  only distracted you, so you decided to visit your aunt. It wasn’t hard to convince your parents to let you stay at your aunts for a few weeks, after that everything else just happened and you were good to go. The only problem was that you didn’t have the time or guts to tell Shawn about it. So here you were, only three hours before your flight, telling your best friend that he had to spend the summer without you for the most part.

“I can show you new stuff, you don’t have to be at the other end of the country for that.” Shawn narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. You could feel your heart flatter by his words, but you tried to shake it off. He was just trying to be a good friend, but deep down you knew that he would forget about you faster than he’d think. Especially with Camilla being in town over the summer.


“I’ll be back before your birthday.” You softly said, giving him an apologizing look. Your eyes went to the clock on the wall, making you realize that you had to go.

“I need to leave now.” His eyes met yours and for a second you wanted to forget about everything, but you knew that if you wouldn’t go, he would never see you more than just  a little sister. Shawn was about to say something, but you gave him no chance. You hugged him quickly and rushed off, not having the courage to look at him one more time.

________

Twenty-three days. You were gone twenty-three days, twelve hours and thirteen minutes. To you it felt like an eternity, mostly because you missed Shawn. You glanced over to his window, hoping to see his handsome face, but to your disappointment his room was empty. With a loud sigh, you turned to the full-length mirror on your wall and watched yourself. A smile crossed your lips.

It blew your mind how a little bit more afford and a helping hand could change someone’s appearance so much. The strapless short dress was showing off your body without being too revealing. You felt comfortable in it, even though you weren’t really a dress-person. It was the first dress you wore in a very long time and it was a bit strange, but in a good way. You applied a layer of a soft pink colored lipstick and checked your make-up for the hundredth time. Being pleased with your appearance, you decided it was time to go.

________

The music was blasting. People were standing everywhere, drinking, talking and having fun. It was already dark outside and the whole garden was decorated with string of lights, making it all cozy and romantic. Making your way through the crowd, you got more and more nervous. There were few people looking up to you, but none of their faces seemed familiar to you.

“(Y/N) is that you?” You turned around, facing a shocked Geoff.

“Hey, Geoff.” You simply said giving him a sincere smile. His shocked expression went to a happy smile as he hugged you tightly.

“You look amazing!” He took a step back and looked at you once more, still with an unbelieving expression. Your cheeks turned red and you bit your lower lip, giving him a thankful nod.

“Have you talked to Shawn yet?” He asked.

“No, I haven’t seen him around actually.” You answered, looking around the backyard, searching for the tall boy. Geoff also looked around, but didn’t seem to find him either.

“Well, he should be somewhere around though.”

You talked a little longer, but than some guys called him, so he excused himself and left you by yourself again. You looked around once again and realized that you didn’t know many of the people around, but you figured that most of them were college friends of Shawn. Suddenly someone ran into you, spilling their drink on your dress.

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry.” The person mumbled, looking at the cup in his hand and than at the mess they created. You were also looking down at your new dress, which was now soaked in alcohol.

“It’s fine.” You lied, trying to rub the wet spot away, giving the person a fake smile. A handsome guy with sparkling blue eyes and dirty blonde hair was standing in front of you, guilt written all over his face.

“No wait…” He looked around, when he didn’t find what he was looking for he pulled his shirt off and handed it to you. You looked at him, surprised by his sudden nakedness. When you didn’t take his shirt, he tried to clean it himself. Still perplex you watched him concentrating on the stain.

“I think you make it worse” You chuckled and looked at the stain getting bigger.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized again and rubbed the back of his neck, smiling shyly. You were about to tell him that it was okay, when you finally spotted Shawn just a few feet away.

He was wearing a red flannel and his typical black skinny jeans. In one hand he was holding a drink while he was resting against the wall, facing Camilla. He threw his head back laughing at something she said. The nervousness which you forgot about was back again, your heart beating louder than the music. You watched him while he was intensely talking about something, still not aware about you starring at him. How could someone be so damn good looking without even trying? It was making you mad.  

Suddenly his eyes found yours and his jaw dropped. Camilla looked at him confused, but followed his eyes, just to see him starring at you. You quickly looked away, realizing that the guy, who spilled his drink over you was still standing next to you. He was telling you something, but you weren’t really listening. Shawn and Camilla made their way over to you.

“(Y/N)! Nice to see you again.” Camilla smiled at you. You smiled back, but didn’t feel like answering back, so you just nodded and turned your attention to Shawn. He was looking at you with an undefinable expression. You didn’t know what he would say about your new style and to be completely honest, it scared you.

“Happy Birthday.” You managed to say, giving him a quick hug.

“I’m glad you were able to come.” Shawn said, finally smiling at you. He looked at the shirtless guy next to you and pointed at him.

“So you both know each other?” He asked curiously. There was a sudden change in the color of his eyes, but you couldn’t put your finger on the reason behind it. You looked at the guy and he looked back at you, before you both started to laugh.

“Actually no, I accidentally run into her, spilling my drink on her dress. We were trying to clean it with my shirt. ” He pointed at your dress and gave you another apologizing look. Shawn narrowed his eyes.

“(Y/N), I’ll give you something else to wear and then we can clean the dress properly.”  

“No it’s okay… It isn’t really that bad.” You said, but Shawn already grabbed you by your wrist.

“Excuse us.” He said, pulling you away from Camilla and the shirtless guy.

On the way to his room, you weren’t talking at all. He wasn’t even looking at you and it made you mad. Shawn was acting weird and you didn’t understand why. When you arrived in his room, he closed the door and let go of your wrist. Still not looking at you, he went to his dresser. He opened a drawer and threw one of his t-shirts to you.

“Shawn, I can’t go back to the party wearing this.” You held up his gray Hogwarts-Shirt, rolling your eyes.

“Why not? You are wearing baggy t-shirts all the time.” He said watching you from the mirror, with his back still facing you.

“Not anymore.” You hissed, crossing your arms.

“Just get undressed and put that shirt on.” He said frustrated.

“No, I won't”

“What is your fucking problem?” Shawn threw his arms in the air.

You looked at Shawn with wide eyes, shocked about him swearing. Shawn wasn’t really the type to swear, only when he was really upset and for some reason he seemed to be pissed at you. You didn’t know why, because you did nothing wrong. But him treating you like that, made you angry too.

“I mean, what happened to you? Talking to a guy like Scott? And what is with the dress and the make-up and your hair? Since when do you dress..”

“Like a girl?!” You interrupted him. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again.

You waited for him to talk up, but he just stared at you. His eyes on you, made you feel more insecure than ever. Your gaze automatically went on the ground, not daring to move. Scared to see what happens next. Suddenly the door opened and both of you looked up to see who it was.

“Am I interrupting something?” Camilla appeared in the door way, a concerned look on her face. Before you could answer, Shawn was already talking.

“No, I was about to come downstairs anyways.” Without giving you another look, he past Camilla, who immediately went after him. Leaving you alone.


Shout out to @fan-of-many-bands who wanted to be tagged and to all the other people who liked the first part. :)

anonymous asked:

I'm not totally sure what happened but I'm soooo sorry that people were dicks and I loved ur recs and I appreciate u doing them. Those assholes should fuck off. While I am a little sad that they're closed I wanted to thank you for introducing me to so many fics that I love and never would have read without you. And I hope that people grow up and get off ur back. Anyways I still love u and ur blog. Thanks! ❤️

Hi, thanks for your kind words, it means a lot, and the recs are closed:

-for entitled people demanding dates to be posted,

-rude inquiries about what the links are not working,

-demanding why their favourite fic is NOT there,

-calling me names because I dare to no list a trope I am not familiar with,

-yelling again on the notes or reblog about all the above instead of send me an ask, message or whatever.

-of course all the stupid anon hate because I dare to ignore other ships that weren’t even a thing when I started reading Wincest, you know what I meant.

For people like that yes, the fic recs and I are closed for real.

I am not here to feel like a tool, and it bothers me that in a fandom were people claim all the time being abused in some form, how this same people are the first doing it without a second thought. Like those who think that I am looking for my ass being kissed, nope, I only want the minimum courtesy, all of us deserve that.

For the people who are looking for help to find a new read, I am always here. You only need to ask. I’m more than happy to share if I can. I hope I made myself clear.😘😘😘

Originally posted by mockingbbird

AAAAAYYYYYYYY! (Me again. o^o)

So, I was thinking of this one part in the song ‘New soul’ (by Yael Naim) and it reminded me of TT Paps (XD). Sorry this pic got a little long. Maybe one day I will make a full version. (Let me just put that on my list of things I want to make. Dam this list is getting long! XD)

Also I just realized that it is a little bit strange that I am sending my fan-art directly to you instead of posting it myself (Sort of creepy the more I think about it. ya sorry about that. ;^;). That’s sort of because I don’t have a tumbler account (yet?). You see I want to wait till I have a better drawing system (thingy?) to draw my comics on first. I know paint is not that bad but it still is hard to use and comes out sort of fuzzy so before I start putting my own stuff really out there I want to get a better way of showing my art (if that makes sense. lol XD)

So wow! That got way to long. Bye!

*Slowly backs up to the window then falls back out of it*

(by Mary Kate)

————————————-

kuttiesstuff:

You can create a tumblr-account before you have better drawing tools. Just to be sure that you saved that one cool tumblr-blog-name you always wanted. How about… hmmm… “awesomekate” or something like that? ;-D

This way it would be easier to talk to you, too. Just saying. (Or you just join my discord server. *winks*)

However, it’s totally up to you. :-3

*puts a matress under any window*

Anyways, thank you very much for this drawing. And all your other submissions. *heart* I’d draw you something in return (as a thank you) if I may, heheh.

Any wishes?

anonymous asked:

Congrats! 400 followers and growing! Can I request a no MC related one? That's because I think that there's some hidden story between Yukimura and Masamune related to the eyepatch. Maybe they were good friends when they were little kids and something happens that Masamune risk his life to protect Yukimura and then thats what happened.I know that Kojuro blame himself for that, I dunno, but I would love some heart touching story of Masamune and Yukimura and maybe a little brush of Kojuro and Saizo

I am so sorry :( I thought about this for ages, and I couldn’t come up with anything logical. So here’s a modern AU with baby Masamune and Yukimura becoming friends, featuring longsuffering babysitter Saizo and mother hen Kojuro!

something special

Summary: The ocean in one eye and the forest in the other - no one has ever described Masamune quite like that before. [SFW, Yukimura/Masamune friendship, 495 words]

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

you must like to watch a lot of romantic comedies then

No I don’t. Actually if you read my tags you might have noticed how I especially hated the fact that they forced this bullshit romance down my throat - it was completely unnecessary. Everyone who’s always complaining about the ‘girl must become love interest and die so boy awakens superhero powers and saves the world’ trope but loves what happened in Wonder Woman is a hypocrite, because they did the exact same thing just with reversed roles and sorry, but that’s not enough to call it ‘revolutionary’. I am glad little girls will now have a woman superhero movie to watch but for me personally I wish I could get my money back because I feel like it was wasted.

I forgot that you cannot dislike something openly on tumblr that the majority loves without someone to come anon with a passive aggressive retort in your askbox. Thank you for reminding me.

3

The second part of Gem’s Garden cards! 

I am still have no time to talk more than few sentences, because I am working hard on my student film Rusalochka (that translate as The Little Mermaid).

Sorry(

I allowed myself to take a break doing these arts in the middle of my exams, because I had a chance to share my art with the voice actors of Steven Universe with the help of my dear girl Crystal, who was on Momocon) I will thank her all my life long.

I lost some days making these cards, but I don’t regret about it, because the voice actors and you, guys, love them so much)

I still can’t belive it is happening to me, thanks you all for kind words and likes and reposts! It seemed impossible a month ago that people will love my arts. THANK YOU VERY MUCH AGAIN!) Have a great day, guys, and good luck at everything)

Of all of the victims, they’ve only released one name so far. 18-year-old Gina Callander. She’s beautiful. I just spent the past half hour going through her photos, her words. I wanted to know the kind of person who was taken from us after last night’s traumatizing events. I wanted to remember her name. She deserves as much.

Most prominently, she loves music. She absolutely lives for it. She’s met Ariana, Union J. She has so many photos posted from seeing Fifth Harmony, Little Mix, and One Direction live. Louis follows her on twitter, and she posted screenshots about how she immediately sent him DMs of how much she loves him (before his DM was open to the public). She travels for these concerts, for these meetings. Her excitement is palpable. She met up with Tyler Oakley and her posts brought tears to my eyes. She talks about engaging with these people with nothing but gratitude and love and amazement. She was so, so happy.

She is you. She is me. She is all of us.

I am so sorry. Sorry that these children are gone. Sorry that a safe place is now rattled. Sorry that we have to come together, yet again, in a time of crisis to lean on one another for strength. Sorry that Gina never got the chance to know how many people in the world love her.

A piece of our hearts was taken away from us last night. We have to get it back. For those who are gone, and for ourselves.

This is inspired by the fact I can’t pay attention in my LA class. Enjoy!

Human’s can’t pay attention for shit, okay.

I’m not talking about ‘oh I zoned put for a minute whoopies daisy’ but forgetting what you are doing in the middle of doing the exact action. Human’s have such complicated brains, right? So, theoretically, we be able to concentrate for hours at a time. But nah. If our brain registers something as boring, it attempts to nope situation, because we need stimulus. If we don’t get it, our brain tries to force us to do other things - even if we can’t.

There was another post around here about how Aliens could hyper focus on certain tasks to get shit done (gotta hunt that down later for credit but its 12 am and im tired sorry) and how human’s being inpatient could confuse them. What about how human’s can think about multiple things at once? Like ‘No, Ari'ik, I’m not just making dinner at 7pm! Steven Universe comes on and I’m definitely not missing that. My nephew is being dropped off started. I need to have a play pen set up. My little sib is going to a sleep over and needs to be dropped off by 8. I have to pack eveyones lunches, clean the house, do the dishes, wash laundry, shower, and be in bed by 9.’ Don’t get me started on stuff like homework because I could probably rant until my lips fall off.

I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but sometimes my brain wants to procrastinate so badly my words literally run into each other. A quick example of this; ‘And so Franny Devut is the true heroine of the story despite WHOISTHEMAIDWITHTHE BUTTERCUPHAIR her questionable WHOSLEEPSONMOONBEAMSANDDANCESONAIR methods of WITHTEARSMAIDOFHONEYANDAHEARTFULLOFBUNNIES obtaining WHOSINFINATEDVIRTUESAREKNOWWIDE IN FAAAARRRRRRRR information! ITSMEWNISOWNDEARESTOURPRINCESSSTAR’ I could easily see aliens sending in their small, day-dreamer human friend for an infiltration mission. The human gets capture for interrogation, but the mind reader can’t tell if they’re telling the truth or not, because who the fuck thinks about chocolate cake when standing in front of two intergalactic tyrants.

Feel free to add on to this if you want, it’s pretty short!

anonymous asked:

hello gin!!! your newest update for 'price of a soul' is amazing! can i ask you to talk about all this symbolism in the comic (and also why do you love to hurt us so much with it)

THIS QUESTION MAKES ME SO HAPPY  I’M SCREAMING THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST ANON (actually thank you everyone for your kind asks about TPOAS… THEY ARE THE FIRE IN MY VEINS THANK YOU)

I think the most important thing I wanted to work on this comic is how it is told from Tamashi’s eyes. That’s how I decided to build the characters through the story, for example, what Tamashi sees most is Allen’s face, honest, straightforward, kind, sweet, smiling, always open and welcoming: 

Whereas he doesn’t see Kanda’s face, Kanda is always turned to him. And when he does, it’s from an low angle:

I had fun thinking it would be important that we, as Tamashi, know of Kanda what he does: Kanda is the father he doesn’t know anything of. Intimidating, scary, tall, unreachable, always with his back turned on him. (With his back turned to him, but I guess you wouldn’t offer your back to an enemy). I aim to, gradually, expose Kanda’s features as Tamashi grows confident, making him look more human and less of a jerk than what he does now (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

Also have you noticed how everyone bends forward to talk to Tamashi? Or squats down to be at his level? So Tamashi can stare directly at them. It’s a very simple gesture but it’s one that says I’m reducing my world to your perspective because you are as important, which Kanda never does.

The first time I read DGM i had to go through the Alma arc three times to made sure I fully understood Kanda (I keep thinking there are hints of his personality I keep missing, as I do with Allen… DGM is such an amazing artwork) so when I thought of him for this story I wanted to be very careful building the conceptualism around a character that has never forgiven himself and doesn’t want redemption. Can you imagine, you spend your life trying to fulfill a promise of love and then you find out -because you slipped once, only once, you are as human as the rest even if it might not seem so-, that you have a kid you never intended on having, even less with someone you’ll never love maybe not even remember, who kinda looks like Alma when they were kids, who is called Tamashi, who, surprise, is there to bite him in his ass. Tamashi is the perspective of a future Kanda never allowed himself to have and now he’s forced to deal with it (ノ≧∀≦)ノ Good thing Allen is here to be the bridge between present Kanda and past Kanda, Allen you angel  (//▽//)ゞ So, basically, what we see of Kanda is an unforgiving Kanda, intimidating, pretending to not mind when he so clearly does (in the last update with Tamashi sleeping outside of Kanda’s room he spends there looking at the boy how long? Five minutes? Ten? He didn’t awoke Tamashi either, just lets him be. He’s trying to make his way out of this without a fuss but OH YOU WON’T BE SO LUCKY KANDA The denial Is Strong). 

Oh! Also I was very careful with colors and including some… … … … little details (୨୧ ❛ᴗ❛)✧ 

Both panels with the flowers are very important…! they are different types of flowers in different palettes… Allen’s one are somewhat fresh and rainy, so springy, whereas Kanda’s seem to be floating on an abandoned place… Pretty, but isolated (•̀௰•́ ) This is funny because oH WELL SPOILER I GUESS / CRASHES THROUGH THE WINDOW AND FLIES INTO THE SUN

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK REALLY!! 

TRANSLATION -  DONT TALK TO ME 

“acid in the face”

“with hijab?”

“circumcision” 

“did you see how hard he hit?”

“why do you wear that shit?”

Sana: hey, jamilla

*scrolls up*

Jamilla: I’m just trying to protect you

Sana; Thanks, but no thanks

Jamilla: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?!!!!

Sana: SORRY! There has been a misunderstanding! I thought you had posted crap about me!! Let me explain! I’m calling you now!

Eva: what is this?

Sana: I quit the bus

Chris: what?!

Sana: I’m not going to be russ

Eva: now that we have gotten a bus and people and everything is working out, and then you quit?

Chris: whats happening?

Sana: it just isn’t that important for me to be Russ

Noora: it was pretty important to you a little while ago?

Sana: maybe i have decided that it goes against my values to stand and watch girls lose all their self respect for that royal hat?

Sana: how is it going with…?

Isak: fine! It’s going fine

Sana: sorry again for that my brother…

Isak: its fine, don’t think about it

Teacher: okay, we’re going through alot this lesson. Its mid terms next week and some of you are far behind so its important.. 

Isak: that applies to me, thats for sure. can’t you help me a little, Sana? I am so fucked, I am so far behind

Sana: sorry, you just have to realize the hard truth

Isak: that i get…. a 4?

Sana: that you’re alone

Imagine the morning after Alec and Magnus had their first date. Alec stayed the night, even though he believed that it might be a bad idea. It is too early after all to stay a whole night at Magnus’. It all goes too fast. But he can’t help himself.

So they are lying in bed. Magnus is still sleeping peacefully. He is lying on his stomach, half of his head buried in a pile of pillows, face towards Alec. Alec is wide awake. His head resting on his hand while he simply stares dreamily at Magnus. Magnus doesn’t wear any make-up and he is snoring a little. Alec smiles. A tiny smile at first. But it gets broader, he just can’t stop it. He can’t believe that he is in Magnus’ loft, lying next to Magnus, the most beautiful man he ever layed eyes on. Alec knows that he must look like a fool but he doesn’t care at all. He lifts his right hand and brushes through Magnus’ thick black hair. He is surprised how soft it is when it is not spiked up. Alec’s fingertips are wandering carefully along Magnus’ jawline, he doesn’t want to wake Magnus up. His thumb brushes over Magnus’ cheek. Magnus still doesn’t wake up under Alec’s gentle touches.

And Alec? He is just smiling while the sun comes up and the first ray of light lightens up the bedroom. He closes his eyes for a second, his hand lingering over Magnus’ cheek. When he opens his eyes again, he notices that Magnus is awake. He looks bleary and it is so adorable that Alec has a lump in his throat. But the thing that shocks him the most are Magnus’ eyes. His cat eyes are showing and they are so beautiful that they instantly take Alec’s breath away.

He swallows.

It takes Magnus a bit to understand what is happening. He wants to turn away from Alec, ashamed. He needs to glamour his eyes again since it looks like they shocked Alec so much. He just hopes he is not that much disgusted by them. Or him.

Alec grabs Magnus’ shoulder, silenty shaking his head. Magnus furrows his brows. Until Alec leans towards him, cupping Magnus’ face with both hands. Magnus closes his eyes, he can’t look at Alec any longer. It’s too much. He silently curses himself that he forgot about his warlock mark.

But Alec just doesn’t care at all. He presses a featherlight kiss on Magnus’ left eyelid. He hears how Magnus inhales sharply. Then he kisses the right eyelid. It’s so soft and tender, Magnus feels like crying. It takes all of him to fight against the tears building behind his lids. When Alec presses another soft kiss against his forehead, Magnus opens his eyes.

“Don’t hide your true self from me, Magnus. Ever. You’re beautiful. All of you.”

And that is the moment when Magnus Bane falls even more in love with Alexander Gideon Lightwood. Not that Magnus will tell him about his feelings yet. It’s too early. Magnus knows that.

But one day soon…

From the absolute bottom of my heart, I want to thank the a-spec community for always being there when I needed it.

When I didn’t have an account yet and sent asks to blogs for a-spec people, asking to learn, asking for help because I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. And they told me that nothing was wrong, that I might be like them and I belonged if I wanted to stay.

When I was a terrified kid who thought I had know everything about myself right away or else I was faking, tearing myself apart with contradictions. And I looked in the ace and aro tags, and I calmed down when I saw people saying that it was okay not to know, that it didn’t make you wrong to be unsure.

When I came face-to-face with my debilitating fear of attraction and sexuality and pushed all of it down so deep I nearly forgot about it, I found the label aroace. And I used it, delighted to have a word to describe myself even though it didn’t quite fit, secure in the knowledge that I belonged somewhere.

When I called a suicide hotline and bawled about being aro, ace, and agender, because I thought no one would ever love me, only to have my dad call me a nothing who loves nothing to my face right after. And I cried to bloggers through asks, and they told me that he was wrong, that I would be loved and I could love, that I was not subhuman and cold for my orientation.

When I explored my identity more and experimented with romantic attraction, trying demirom and panrom, asking ace bloggers if it was okay to change my labels like this. And they said that if I felt like a label no longer fit me, I could do some thinking and try another one as many times as I needed until I found one that was right.

When I had my first squish and fell into a crisis because I thought it was romantic or even sexual attraction that I felt. And they explained to me, lovingly and patiently, about QPRs and platonic attraction, telling me it was normal.

When I switched back to aroace after three years of identifying as panrom ace because I understood that I never felt romantic attraction even though I love my fiance more than anything. And I happily told my favorite bloggers about my discovery, to which they replied that they were proud of me.

When I used the discourse as emotional self-harm and dissociated because of the disconnect between what I was reading and what I had lived through. And the community gathered around me and protected me and helped me even as I broke down.

When I rediscovered my fear of attraction and sexuality and finally understood the root of it, pushing through until I truly knew myself. And they were happy for me, even though I left behind the community that has been with me for so long.

I’m a gay trans man who has struggled with internalized homophobia and a horrific fear of sexuality to the point that I essentially forced myself not to feel any kind of attraction. I’m not completely comfortable with myself yet. I don’t quite fully understand my identity yet. I could be grey ace or demi, but I also could not.

Aphobes love to use people like me as some sort of twisted pawn, but they don’t see the whole story.

Yes, I identified as a-spec because of internalized homophobia, but if I had never found the community, I would still be that terrified little kid who thought he was broken, cold, wrong, subhuman, and dirty. I would never have discovered as much about myself as I have. I would never have been able to openly, happily, proudly call myself gay without the a-spec community’s love, support, and encouragement to learn and grow.

I probably wouldn’t even be alive.

Thank you all so, so much. I love every one of you, and I am so sorry this discourse is still going on, because you don’t deserve it. They don’t understand what this community means to people, even to those who quite possibly no longer fall on the a-spectrum.

With everything I have, with all my love, thank you so much for always being such a wonderful community of caring individuals.

Dear Dreamworks and Studio Mir,

This probably won’t reach any of you people, but I just want to say on behalf of the whole VLD fandom(or at least the reasonable part of it) - we’re sorry.
We’ve been giving you a whole lot of bullshit lately, well, actually there was a little bullshit since the very beginning but now it escalated terribly, but the point is that you did not deserve this. No one does. I am sorry for all the discourses and ridiculous behavior, constant whining, bitching and complaining and generally I am- we all are - sorry about being so fucking extra 96% of the time.
We are especially sorry about the leaks and all the drama caused over them. It really isn’t fair from us to be like this.
Our, most deepest, sincerest apologies,

The VLD fandom(or at least all the reasonable members)

PS: I understand ppl who see this will be like ‘who does she think she is talking like this as if she some ambassador or something’ and you wouldn’t be entirely wrong but I just felt like it would be right to say something. The least we owe is an apology. So yea, once again, SORRY, SO MUCH SORRY.

anonymous asked:

Hello! Can we have boys spoiling each other (and Yura) with care, attention, by being mindful, or by something material? Sneakily or open - no matter. Thanks in advance! )))

Viktor is notorious for having the biggest holes in his pockets. He follows a rule of thumb: if it has animal stripes on it or it’s purple, he buys it, only to dump in front of Yura’s front door for him to find (if it’s both, well, that’s like Easter come early). On the same note, if it’s pretty and shiny or it reminds him of Yuuri, or if he even remotely suspects Yuuri would like it, it becomes a “late anniversary present” or an early one, whatever festivity is closer and fits.
Yura promptly wears whatever it was the day after, feigning ignorance, doesn’t look at him in the eyes and screams a little less than usual.
Yuuri tries desperately to get him to bring it back, this is getting ridiculous, why would I want this marble peacock statue with glitters glued on it, Vitya, oh my god, no, don’t cry, I really like it- clearly to no avail. They’re probably gonna have to move out soon or at least rent a garage or something.

Yuuri is a book manual mom friend. He makes bento for everyone at the rink (even Yakov) ((they need a bigger kitchen)), sneakily gives advice when Yura is out of his depth enough to not properly ask for it but making it slip that he would need it, wordlessly wraps his jacket around his shoulders when he stubbornly refuses to get his out of the car. He reminds Viktor to take his vitamins, makes him hot tea when it’s chilly outside (with his favourite jam, even if he shudders everytime), lets him cry into his neck when it’s a no day. He bribes him with cake at the price of eating his vegetables (you too, Yura, don’t give me the scowly face, you’ll never grow up by pirozhkis only) and sometimes he even lets him win at Monopoli (he’ll never give up his rightful place as the master of mario kart, that’s for sure).

Yura is a little more complicated. He’s so desperately young, and angry, but his rare smiles when he gets unguarded are proof enough. He scowls, and screams, props his socked feet on their coffee table and drinks the hot chocolate with marshmallows Yuuri dropped into his hands. He mutters obscenities and then asks Viktor to help him solve a physics problem. Viktor chirps that he’ll be happy to offer his services and Yura kicks him in the shin.
He’s always around, no matter if he complains and pretends to gag when they kiss, he never misses a friday dinner (it’s definitely a thing, now) and makes it his duty to bring the best ingredients for pirozhki. They take turns to do the dishes.


The thing is: sometimes Viktor is emotionally unavailable; he carves lazy eights on the ice, takes off for a loop and when he lands his eyes are cold, distant, his smiles the dazzling, fake photoshoot ones. Yuuri pretends to be too tired to practice and gets them home, Yura in tow, and Makkachin attaches himself to Viktor’s hip while they kick his ass at Cluedo (Viktor is always Miss Scarlet). They order take out and watch Titanic, to Yuri’s displeasure, and Viktor cries for the last half of the movie (and part of the first, too) but when Yuuri goes to wipe his nose, his smile is toothy and genuine. He snuggles between them and remembers that he’s not alone, that, no matter how many medals he’s won, he’s just Viktor, and that’s okay.

Sometimes Yuuri is too tired, and doesn’t find it in himself to cook.
Viktor cuts up the sausages into little octopuses and only burns them a little, but everyone at the rink still eats them and choruses their thanks to Yuuri, who blushes beautifully and hides his face into Viktor’s shirt. They leave practice early, despite his weak protests, and Viktor draws him a hot bath that they take together, lazily making swirls with the soap bubbles and humming old cartoon songs together. Yura stomps in the middle of couch cuddling with hot pizza and his cat, who Makkachin loves very much, and they eat together watching the two fluffy things battle for dominance (Makkachin wants to snuggle, Potya wants to be left alone). Yuuri lets the cushions and Viktor’s arms engulf him, takes deep breaths and remembers that he’s loved.

Sometimes Yura is closed off and stormy, his muscles sore and stretched out, his snarl genuine, the caged out expression of an unwillingly tamed beast. He hurts, feeling like he’s too big for his body, like his bones could suddenly snap under the weight he’s putting on them.
Viktor pretends to give him nasty pointers on his free leg, exaggerates his woes on purpose to give him something to channel his rage on. Yura fumes and curses, carving angry lines on the ice, and Yuuri puts up some music on the speakers that’s just hurling and bass thumps and they soar through the air till they can’t breathe anymore.
They buy ridiculously over saturated with sugar churros on the way back and make katsudon, screaming at the blue monster truck to get his shit together and Yura curls on the sofa like an exhausted cat. He stays the night, and when Viktor carries him to the guest room there’s the ghost of a smile on his lips. He refuses to get driven back by Viktor the day after, so they all take the crowded bus together, but in between ominous hisses Yuri’s expression softens, and he remembers that he’s enough, and powerful, and that, even if he doesn’t feel like it, he belongs.


Sometimes, it’s easy for them to believe they’re alone. But be it by ridiculously expensive tiger printed socks or food or simply being there, the mismatched, marvelous family they have makes it just as easy to remember that they’re not.

anonymous asked:

Hello! So I was at a party tonight, and this woman told me this great story about how she met her husband. She was the PR person for the local university. He was the sports editor for the local paper. He kept getting the school's mascot wrong in articles, and she would have to call him every time to correct it, growing increasingly frustrated every time. This was one of those moments when all I could think was LARRY AU, LARRY AU.

oh my god, thank you so much for sending me this message! It just made me so happy and I love it.  Like, I love these actually people you met and I love it as a larry au!!!!!! 

I feel like it works both ways so well for larry that I can’t even really pick one. example:

Louis as the university PR person, grumbling to Niall about the mistake the first time it happens.  Waving the sports sectionaround and stabbing a finger at the picture of their mascot at a basketball game.  “What the fuck!!! look at this photo of Ferdinand!?!!  Look at this caption!!! A hawk???? A hawk??” (they are the falcons) And then like, because in this version louis is immediately over-frustrated, instead of increasingly, he’d call up the paper in a big huff and then immediately be disarmed by Harry’s calm, deep voice and seal bark laugh once he finally got him on the phone.  Then he’d flirt-email him a link to an article about the differences between Hawks and Falcons as soon as he got off the phone, thrilling at his own daring as he did it! And after like the sixth time Harry got it wrong, they would go on a date and after they got married they’d always collected both stuffed hawks and stuffed falcons. 

oh my god how killer, because opposite way around, Harry the PR guy calling, he’d be immediately disarmed by Louis’s voice, too!!  Like all flustered, and then like he’d get blushy when louis teased him, but also tease back.  oh my god and then seven or eight calls in, Harry finally loses it and is like “you just don’t care about our sports teams because we’re not division one! Well, tough! you live in this city too, Louis, you should know our mascot is a turtledove by now god damn it!” and then louis would ask him out.  

i’m just smiling a lot.  like i can also imagine either of them as the sports editor, starting to get it wrong on purpose and feeling like “oh no, my journalistic integrity!” but also “i need to do this flirting very bad!!!!” 

okay sorry i rambled so much.   

“Jealousy isn’t my thing” Zach Dempsey

Request: Zach x Reader where Zach gets jealous :) [fluff-cuteness] hope everyone likes it.

NOTE: I am so sorry this is late but I hope you guys like it x

Originally posted by corn-flacks

You and Zach had been going out for 9 months now. Nearly a year. God everything was perfect. At first you were hesitant to even become friends with him because he’s a Jock. it was a biology project that got both of you together. so from working on a project; to revising together; then the healthy flirting turning into a relationship.

Your best friend Clay was really happy for you. He was against it first because Zach was a “JOCK” but then he saw how caring, loving and affectionate Zach was towards you.

Zach didn’t mind yours and Clay’s friendship but he wasn’t a big fan of it either. Sometimes you would see Zach dropping him looks but you’d ignore it thinking he’s just being childish. 

You haven’t really seen Zach much because you and Clay have this History project coming up so you’ve been with Clay for a whole week working on it.

“God I miss him Clay” you said as Clay was stapling some papers.                      “I know (Y/N), but patience is a virtue” he said whilst laughing and you just gave him a little nudge.

—————————————————————————————————-

(Zach’s POV)

I trust her. I really do. But recently she’s been spending all her time with the Jensen and i don’t like it. I know that she loves me but like why can’t she just take two minutes out to call me or something.

{Next Day}

There she is, walking arm in arm with Jensen. Am I her man or Jensen?            “What’s up bro?” said Justin.                                                                                 “Nothing bro” i said whilst glaring at Jensen. No, I don’t like this but she doesn’t care so fuck it. She’s looking at me, walking towards me with her arms open like nothing’s wrong. WOW.

((Y/N) POV)

He saw me right? Why did he just walk off like that?                                            “Is everything ok?” Clay said but I didn’t know what to say so i just nodded and walked with him.

3 days. 3 motherf**kin days and Zach Dempsey has not even looked to me, let alone spoken to me. He’s there with all his jock friends but do I care? No! So here it goes.

(Zach’s POV)

She just grabbed my arm and dragged me with her to the girl’s toilet. Thank God no one was there to see. Well…the teachers weren’t there so it’s fine…I guess.                                                                                                                  “What’s your problem?” she said as she had me against the wall. God i just wanted her for myself, that’s all. She looked so beautiful all the time but when she was angry, there was something about her.She looked HOT AS FUCK.        

“Nothing.” I said coldly, pushing her lightly to the side and trying to walk off “you should go to Jensen probably he won’t make you feel pissed” I said and all i heard was a little sniffle.

“OH..MY..GOD. I am so sorry babe…ok-don…don’t cry now” I said. I couldn’t see her upset. I was just pissed that you were spending time with Jensen and not me. I know better, I trust you and I shouldn’t have acted like a chil-”

 But to my unfortunate luck she was just pretending. Before i could finish (Y/N)  started giggling and it turned into  a fit of laughter. I must say I was relieved that I didn’t make her cry.     

                                                                                                                    “Jealousy’s not my thing” she said.                                                                       “What do you me-”, I was cut off by her tender lips placed in mine and let’s just say it was kiss filled with love, passion. lust and hunger of  not kissing each other for a week. The kiss turned in to a everlasting make out session. My hands all over her body, her leaving trails of kisses down my neck. Then those purple marks that only I could give her. My left hand resting on her but and my right hand on her thigh. She had her hands around my neck.                               She stopped to catch her breath. “When we started dating you told me Jealousy isn’t your thing, but look at you now. All jealous and that”

I was stuck for a moment. I’m not the jealous type but this time I was. “I..uh..ummm…I felt insecure” She looked at me confused as to why would I even feel that way. “It’s just he’s known you for years and all so I got a bit j..jea…jealous!”.

She cupped both of my cheeks and gave me a little peck. “ I love you, Dempsey” (Y/N) said, her eyes filled with love. “ It’s been 9 months since we’ve been together so that says a lot” she said with  a little giggle. 

I laughed, reassured that my baby is only my baby. 

“Who’s in there?” we heard Ms.Kimberly say.                                                        “We’re so dead” (Y/N) said. WE both came out and faced Ms. Kimberly who had a disappointed look on her face. (Y/N) lipstick was on my lips, her neck was covered with this purple bruises and so was mine. 

“Office. Now!” she yelled and started walking with us following behind.

“Jealousy still isn’t my thing, just saying” I said before pulling (Y/N) from her waist towards myself for a hug.

Originally posted by kissing-pleasure

anonymous asked:

Hey! From that huge au list that you said you were accepting prompts on, could you possibly do stucky, the "I hit you with my car and I'm the only one who visited at the hospital, you okay?" with steve being the one hit by the car? It's a sick day for me and it feels like I've exhausted all good fanfiction... you're my only hope!

“Which flower arrangement says ‘I’m very sorry for running you over in my car’?” Bucky asks into his phone, frantically looking between an arrangement with tulips and an orchid.

There’s a long pause, then Natasha asks very level, very calm, “James?”

“Yes?”

“What did you do?” she asks in that same, calm voice.

“I RAN SOMEONE OVER WITH MY CAR,” Bucky yells. “I JUST SAID THAT.”

“Excuse me sir,” says the little old woman shopping next to him.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry for yelling,” Bucky says. “I’ll be quiet.”

“No, no, dear, that’s not the issue,” she says.

“Oh, then am I in your way?” he asks.

“No, it’s just that I’m about to leave the store, and drive home. I’m hoping that you’ll give me a few minutes’ head start before you leave, too.”

He nods and smiles at the old lady, then goes back to his phone. “I wish I were dead,” he says, still smiling.

“Daffodils are nice,” Natasha says.

— —

It’s probably presumptuous to go visit the guy you hit with your cat in the hospital and Bucky’s pretty sure that if his insurance company knew about Bucky going over there they’d be pissed, but you can’t just run someone over with your car and not visit them in the hospital. That’d just be bad form.

Bad form like not stopping all the way at a stop sign and grazing the pedestrian who is crossing the street.

He knocks on the door. “Uh, hi,” he says, looking at the guy laying in bed.

The guy sits up a little, then winces. “Hi,” he says. “You lost?”

“No, at least… I don’t think so. You’re Steve Rogers?” The guy nods. “Okay, well, I’m Bucky Barnes and I maybe sort of hit you with my car,” he says, hiding behind the bouquet of daffodils a little. He peeks out from behind it. “Sorry about that,” he adds.

The guy snorts. “Believe it or not, it’s not the first time I’ve been hit by a car,” he says, “and you just tapped me.” He shrugs. “Honestly, I wouldn’t even be in here if it weren’t for my pre-existing conditions.” He perks up a little. “Are those for me?” he asks, looking at the flowers.

“Yeah,” Bucky says, walking forward towards the bed and holding the flowers out to Steve. “They are! They’re… daffodils.”

“I’m horribly allergic,” Steve says, grinning. “Gimme.”

“But you’re—“

“Already in the hospital,” Steve says, taking the flowers and smelling them. The yellow looks nice with his soft blond hair and it’s kind of cute when his thick black frame glasses slip down his nose while he sniffs. “Wow! These are great.”

“I’m glad you like them,” Bucky says, trying not to blush because the guy he ran over with his car is really stinking cute.

“Thanks for coming,” Steve says.

“Oh, uh,” Bucky says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It was the least I could do.”

“I’m I the hospital so much that my friends don’t even notice at this point, so it’s nice to have some company.” He’s still holding the flowers, and looks down at them again like he can’t believe he really has them, and Bucky wonders why his friends wouldn’t come visit him in the hospital when he is obviously the most adorable dork in all of New York City. He looks back up at Bucky. “You want some pudding?” he asks. “I have some extra.”

— —

Two years later and Steve feeds Bucky a spoonful of pudding. “Yum,” Bucky says, smacking his lips together.

“I can’t believe you convinced the caterers to serve pudding,” Steve says, grinning.

“You know how some couples have special songs or places?” Bucky asks.

Steve nods. “Yeah,” he says.

“Well, our dessert is pudding,” he says.

Steve rolls his eyes. “I can’t believe you,” Steve says.

“And I still can’t believe that you agreed to marry some guy who ran you over with his car,” Bucky says.

Steve shrugs. “You didn’t have enough money to be worth suing,” he says. “And,” he adds, “you only grazed me.”

Bucky grins, leans in and kisses his new husband.

“And you grazed me with your love,” he says. “Same thing.”

“Not at all!” Steve squeaks and Bucky laughs and around them their friends and family dance awkwardly to a mediocre DJ and they’re husbands now, and Bucky will never, ever, run over anyone else for the rest of his life.