but i also hate it because it reduces me to an ugly crying mess

Walking Through A Storm

This is for the anon that made me excited for writing once again!

Tags: Fluff, Angst

Summary: Dan keeps his fears in the shadows, guarded always. But his parents have always managed to bring out the ugly side in him. It’s time to stop running away and brave the inevitable.

Warnings: Homophobia, Anxiety

Word Count: 1.8 k

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“I don’t wanna be here and I know you don’t too.” Dan’s pout can be heard in his voice.

“Be nice, c’mon.” Phil is unsurprisingly, ever the optimistic.

They are standing in front of Dan’s parents’ house, bags packed for a day’s visit. The BONCAS win had made Dan’s parents, albeit reluctantly, assent to the career path Dan had chosen. It was a pity that an award had made them give in, but it was better than the strained phone conversations.

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New Remedy

Author’s note: Izumi and Ryouma with 23. “Just once.”
*screeches* THANK YOU, MIIAAAAAAA. THESE TWO NEED MORE LOVE AND ATTENTION. Sorry it took so longgasdjfk sdf 
Also this turned out soooo effing vanilla I don’t even 

Summary: Izumi and Ryouma have some time to kill and Izumi starts freaking out because he’s super nervous about recording his single. Luckily, Ryouma thinks of a silly way to get rid of his nerves. 


The morning before the recording, Izumi went over to Ryouma’s apartment to hang out. It was definitely a miracle that Ryouma had time in the first place, so to say that both of them jumped each other as soon as they made eye-contact was an understatement. Izumi had immediately wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, laughing happily as Ryouma picked him up to carry him to the living room.

“You nervous about the recording?”

The flush on Izumi’s cheeks darkened and he nodded shyly. Ryouma was holding his waist, gently stroking his sides with his thumbs. After convincing Izumi that he was definitely not too heavy, they ended up in this position quite often: Ryouma lying either on the couch or in bed with Izumi on top of him. In the beginning it was quite clumsy but Izumi soon grew used to it and often took the first step nowadays, seeing as he grew addicted to cuddling.

“It’ll be okay. You sing good after all,” Ryouma grinned and bumped their noses together. “If you get stage fright, just think about me.”

Izumi snorted at the cheeky joke and buried his face in Ryouma’s neck. “I’ll miss you.”

“Hmm, I’ll miss you, too.”

Nudging Izumi with his nose, Ryouma initiated their first kiss of the night. Izumi’s face grew hot at the continuous movement of Ryouma’s lips against his own and the hands squeezing his waist, thumbs massaging his hips. Lips were nibbling playfully at his cupid’s bow and Izumi felt himself becoming weak because wow he loved Ryouma’s kisses so much.

Izumi’s hands that had been resting on Ryouma’s chest were now clutching his shirt, playing with the fabric because he didn’t want to move too much in case he’d ruin the moment. The steady heartbeat under his fingers made him smile into the kiss, loving Ryouma’s sense of serenity.

“Shall we go to the bedroom?” was a soft whisper against his now slightly plump lips.  

His heart fluttered nervously. “U-um, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

One of the many talents Izumi possessed was making things awkward in less than five seconds. He started sputtering right away, half-words blubbering out, trying to explain himself to his now shocked boyfriend who looked like he just got slapped in the face.

“Izumi…?”

“No, I mean! It’s not like I don’t want to, uh, I just— I’m too tense! And-and I don’t want my butt to hurt when I’m recording, like, what i-if they start asking weird questions or notice and I’m not a good liar, Ryouma! And Rei, oh god, he’d never let me live it down! I don’t wanna have that talk with him again! I hate having to explain myself to him, especially when he’s wearing that stupid smirk ‘cause he always thinks he’s super smart. And Onii-chan will definitely beat you up if he finds out, nooooooo!”

At this point Izumi had basically become a blushing mess that was constantly making weird noises and hid his face in Ryouma’s shirt to muffle his words.

A hand was laid on the back of his head. “Izumi.”

“What?”

“We don’t have to do it, you know?” Ryouma mumbled against his hair and Izumi looked up, teary-eyed.

“You’re not mad?”

“Of course not. Holding you in my arms is good enough for me, but…” Ryouma stroked his back and paused at his lower back. “you are a bit tense, I can feel it. Are you really that nervous?”

It was obviously incomprehensible from his side, but Izumi was so inexperienced with these things that he couldn’t help but feel a bit scared. Singing in front of other people (professionals on top of that), watching and listening carefully, judging him for every wrong note, but masking it with polite smiles. He would be stuck in this awful circle: sing off key, resulting in more nerves, which made his singing worse and him even more nervous.

Without even noticing it, Izumi had started shaking and clutching Ryouma’s shirt for support.

Ryouma,” he whined lowly and sniffed. “I can’t do it! I-It’s in a couple of hours and I feel like I’m gonna throw up!”

Izumi jumped off the couch and started pacing, waving his arms around as if he was trying to fly away. There was a big lump in his throat, making him feel like he couldn’t even talk and a knot in his chest made it hard for him to breathe and since both were kind of really important for the recording, Izumi felt like dying.

“Izumi—”

“And I broke the marble! What do I do?”

Strong arms circled around his shoulders to hug him from behind, forcing him to stay in place. “I’m sorry. If I didn’t have that photoshoot today, I’d totally come with you.”

Ryouma buried his nose in the back of Izumi’s neck, nuzzling the spot just below his hairline and squeezing his shoulders, causing Izumi’s knees to buckle under his weight. He felt Ryouma’s small breaths against his sensitive skin, causing goose bumps to appear all over his arms and back. His warmth, cologne and natural scent, reassuring squeezes and tender kisses on his neck did wonders for Izumi’s nerves but he was still shaking like a leaf.

In the beginning, Ryouma’s kisses would’ve relaxed him but now that they had been together for a while, he’d gotten pretty used to them (not that they would ever get boring though) and the magic was kind of wearing off.

But when one kiss was placed right on his pulse point, Izumi jumped up with an unmanly squeak and giggled. “S-sorry, that tickled.”

This was not very uncommon. In fact, it happened about every time they would get intimidate and usually Ryouma would either ignore him or apologize and move to a different spot, but this time, his boyfriend gasped in excitement and turned him around.  

“I got it!”

“Got what?” Izumi inquired and raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe you’ll relax if I tickle you!”

“… Eeeeeeeeh?”

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