but honestly james is the only real deal

Kara has never been in love

She had puppy love with James, and while that was cute, the situation was needlessly complicated with Lucy and being coworkers and all that. She never said “I am in love with James Olsen”. As we all know, puppy love is nice in the moment but it’s not the real deal. It’s nowhere near the real deal. CBS tried to sell it as such but literally introducing James as Kara’s LI soured potential chances of it being more than infatuation. She intensely liked him for a hot seven months (in broadcast time anyway; maybe it was a year in-universe idk) and that was it.

What she had with ME (see what I did there?) was honestly tantamount to an extended booty call interspersed with arguing. She literally only said “I love you” to Mayonnaise Elk AFTER he got lead poisoning and almost died. I’m perfectly willing to accept that she loved Mon-El, but she has never said she was “in love” with him. When it comes to emotions, semantics are God. Especially with her. If Kara wants you to know how she really feels (which is rare af because she’s mastered her “Kara Danvers” mask), she will inform you in no uncertain terms. You will not be able to argue it.

As we all know, Kara DOES NOT under any circumstances accept defeat when a loved one is at risk. With Myriad, she explicitly stated she would fight until her last breath. She literally almost committed suicide to save her loved ones. With Mayonnaise over there, she literally just cried and watched him leave. (Side note: I never wanna see Melissa cry again, holy shit that was the saddest thing ever😭😭😭😭) She didn’t try to fly him back up to the Daxamite mothership after Rhea literally dissolved into dust before her eyes, she didn’t try to get him somewhere else. She sat back and accepted a ‘no’. Kara Zor-El is not and has never been anywhere near that passive about ANYTHING.

In the aftermath, she mourns that she’s alone again. Not that her first real boyfriend (implied to canonically be her first boyfriend period) is gone and she’s never gonna see him again. That she is alone again. “Everyone is in a relationship except me.” She’s devastated that she is in solitude once more. Kara Zor-El, true heir to the noble House of El and undisputed champion of Earth, the Last Daughter of Krypton, who witnessed planetfall with her own two eyes and is full of constant grief and survivor’s guilt, is in love with the IDEA of being in love. She has undisputedly romanticized being in love with someone else as “not being alone anymore”. Essentially an escape from her own eternal internal existential suffering. And she was forced to rob herself of that forever for the greater good. Because she’s a hero and that’s exactly what heroes do.