hey guys did you hear this floral shoppe/death grips mashup? you’d think it’d just be a shitpost but its actually really good. also check out this meme i made its shinji ikari as the feels guy. because he uh doesnt have a girlfriend. i found it on 4chan but i only go there ironically haha.
Ok we're gonna need a LOT more stories about you and your sibling craziness - cmon there's gotta be a whole heap of family tales you can share?!?
One of the things you ought to know about me is that I LOVE talking about my siblings. So yes, I’d be delighted to share some more stories! It’ll probably be one at a time though because most of them need BACKSTORY and/or PERMISSION TO TELL ON THE INTERNET.
The Haunted Easter Bunny
So this was one of the rare times in my life when my step-siblings weren’t around. It was just my mom, my brother T and my sister H ( @believingfate) on Easter. We were probably…nine? Ten? Somewhere around there and my mom had just started teaching fourth grade so she wanted to make sure we kept up our good Family Vibes™ by having dinner together as much as possible.
So we’d just finished eating and my mom was like, “Hey, do you guys want to hear a story? A SPOOKY story?”
And we all knew my mom’s stories, they’re the best, so we were like “HELL YEAH,” but more like “Yes, please” because my mom and dad gave us manners, thanks. (Also, although my parents were divorced, I was pretty convinced that my dad would materialize out of thin air and chastise us for swearing even if we were at my mom’s lol).
So my mom started to tell us about these three kids who lived in a house like ours, went to a school like ours, and who had chocolate Easter bunny candy like ours. She did the voices and shook the furniture to show how the thunder shook the house and everything and we were l i v i n g . . .
In fear. We were living in fear as she described how the kids all went to bed and then, in the middle of the night, heard the front door open.
Creeeeeeaaaaaaaaak, my mom squeaked, drawing her fingernails over the wood table.
Tonight, I thought, we die.
Unfortunately, my mom didn’t realize that we were terrified, not just excited. She said, “They hear something heavy come up the stairs. Thump…thump…THUMP!” She shouted, flashing her hands at us. “Very faintly they can hear a ghostly voice. Where…is….my….head?” She pointed accusingly to the headless chocolate Easter bunny lying on the table and suddenly we knew.
I was glued to my seat, eyes wide, my sister H was staring at her plate like she’d be able to not hear the story if she stared hard enough, and my brother T was standing next to his chair rather than sitting in it. Because we’d just eaten the head of a chocolate Easter Bunny and this story was about three kids and holy shit there are three of us.
This isn’t a story, it’s a frickin’ prophecy, I thought.
“’It’s the Easter Bunny!’ the kids cry to each other,” my mom said, “’We ate his head and he wants it back!’ They hear the dreaded bunny hop up the last of the stairs and make its way to their room. Where….is….my…HEAD.” My mom reached behind her and rattled the cabinet. “He tried to open the door. They could hear him trying to turn the knob with his paws. Where is….my…HEAD.”
I wiped my eyes frantically because I was tough and not scared at all.
It was at this point my mom realized that we were terrified, probably because at least one of us (me) was starting to cry from fear. So she tried to stop being horrifying and lighten the story up because we were nine and her sound effects were really scary.
My mom quickly finished, “And he burst into the room, asking where his head was. ‘We ate it!’ the children cried. The ghost Easter bunny said, ‘Oh, okay!’ And disappeared, content that his chocolate head was where it was supposed to be!”
“Haha,” I said weakly and T and H followed suit. My mom was feeling pretty good about saving the story and making it funny, so she let us eat some more chocolate before doing the dishes. She went upstairs to get ready for bed, leaving us to it.
So we did the dishes and we wanted to watch a movie to forget the Horrors™. Mom still wasn’t back downstairs, so I was nominated to go upstairs to get her. The reason why I was nominated was because my mom was a frickin’ bat and never turned on the lights in the house because she could see in the dark. So, as the least afraid of the dark (or rather the least willing to show it), I was sent up the stairs.
I looked into her dark room and didn’t see her. I could kind of make out something white in the middle of the room though and thought it could be her pajamas. “Mom?”
I stepped into the room. “Mom?”
From the depths of darkness came a sound. “OoooOOOOooOOOOoOOOH!”
“NO!” I shouted reflexively. The white thing wasn’t my mom–it was a ghost!
IT’S THE HAUNTED EASTER BUNNY, I thought and panicked. I screamed. T and H were halfway up the stairs to see what was taking so long and they screamed.
Then we were ALL screaming and running around the landing. T tried to shove himself into the laundry hamper, H ran halfway down the stairs and then back up again. I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door, gibbering.
My siblings started pounding on the bathroom door. “Let us in! Let us in!”
I held onto the doorknob for dear life. If I open the door, the headless bunny will get me too, I thought. Goodbye, T and H.
In that instant, I was ready to let my siblings die, I swear.
No, I thought, no. I need to save them. Dad will ask questions if they die here. I have to open the door.
I let them in, still screaming, and we slammed the door shut, locking it and sobbing. H jumped into the bathtub and T slammed his back against the door and I stood on the toilet so that I’d have the height advantage when the giant bunny broke in.
From insider her dark ass room, my mom began to laugh.
“It’s just me,” she said. We could hear her walk onto the landing. “Kids? You’re laughing, right?”
Hey guys, just wanted to remind you that we’ve switched to a different posting schedule while we recover from the all-nighters prepare for the next grand installment. The next page goes up on February 27.
Hey guys, I’m super stressin’ about financial stuff, so I’m gonna try to save up to make a payment on some of my loan interest… One of them alone is $400 so I’m gonna try to do twenty commissions over the next couple of months… If you can help me fill up the slots and save up, that’d be amazing!
I can draw! Pretty much anything! If it’s something unusual, contact me and we’ll discuss how to make it doable!
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to getting up at three in the morning to travel to Heathrow airport. I get one night in my bed and I’m gone again. Is it even my bed anymore? My bed should break up with me, I’m certainly not attentive enough.
Hey guys!!! So I just tried tank top binding (I took a really tight tank top dress, and a plain tank top, not lined, and folded them up so it’d be right around my chest) and it’s so much more comfortable than binding with ace bandages, which I know you’re not supposed to do, but it curbs the dysphoria pretty well.
Now with this, it’s easy to tell from the side that I still have boobs, but from the front you can just barely tell, so if it’s not uber important to pass and you just want to alleviate some dysphoria, tank top binding definitely helps. If you want a more step-by-step post, the link I follow for the most part is right here. I hope it goes well, remember to bind safely!