but here's the only person who's truly made a change in him: elena

Little Gilbert - Kai Parker Imagine

Originally posted by lets-imagine-tvd

Requested- no
Word Count- 1388
Pairing- Kai Parker x (AU) Elena’s little sister

Her cheeks were kissed pink from the winter air. Her jacket fluttered with the wind, her hands hastily wrapping it around her frame. Hands tucked away and hair bouncing around; Y/N Gilbert was on her way home from the Mystic Grill. The streets were lonely, few people adventuring to their destinations. It became eerier as she walked to the Salvatore’s house

As she neared the boarding house, she felt watched. Y/N felt eyes piercing her skin as she walked to the house. A scream was lodged in her throat as she was abruptly pulled into the dark forest. Hands clamped over her mouth, a voice soothingly recognisable made her slump. “Why so scared, Y/N? It’s only me” Kai Parker smiled, his pearly white teeth visible midst the darkness.

She rolled her eyes; a sigh passing her lips as she did so. She stood on the tops of her feet, her nose touching his. His hot breath warmed her up, he was a fire that consumed her. This fire could not be tamed. Eyelids flutter close as lips connect. Noses bump and harsh giggles are met. This was their normal routine. She couldn’t be seen with him. This was forbidden. Her older sister Elena will never allow it; she’d probably kill the both of them.

They pulled away, as the lack of oxygen burned their lungs. Her fingers found their way to his hair and she threaded them through it. “I should probably go before Elena thinks I’m dead,” a quiet chuckle left her mouth. He smiled at her and gave her one last kiss, this one more passionate than the last.

“I walk you to the door, don’t want anyone to pull you into the darkness” he winked. Hands clasped together, they made the small walk to the Salvatore house. She reached the door and her lips lingered on his cheek. She heard a mutter, then Kai disappeared. As he did so, the door busted open, revealing a worried Damon and Elena. Elena’s hands clasped around Y/N’s shoulders and pushed her inside.

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anonymous asked:

Stelena wasn't healthy. Their problems are worse because they're not even remotely acknowledged. The show romanticizes them to such a degree that Elena tells Stefan that he was a "perfect" boyfriend who never scared her, who was never a monster, as she's standing next to the bridge that he was about to intentionally drive her off of a year before. The show props them up as "pure" when they weren't even close. They never once actually worked out their issues, or even acknowledged their problems

“ Stelena wasn’t healthy. Their problems are worse because they’re not even remotely acknowledged. The show romanticizes them to such a degree that Elena tells Stefan that he was a “perfect” boyfriend who never scared her, who was never a monster, as she’s standing next to the bridge that he was about to intentionally drive her off of a year before. The show props them up as “pure” when they weren’t even close. They never once actually worked out their issues, or even acknowledged their problems Even long after they broke up and became friends, they still white washed their history. And that’s not a promising foundation for a future relationship IMO. Say what you want about Delena, but their problems were laid out bare on the show. They both acknowledged when their relationship was unhealthy (the only couple to ever do this, mind) and ended up changing so that they could be together in a healthier way which we saw in season 6. And now they’re human and living a normal life, and lasted”            

I read this on my phone when I wok up and literally bell laughed so thank you for that anon, you made my morning. Truly. Now, shall we begin?

Stelena wasn’t healthy. Their problems are worse because they’re not even remotely acknowledge […] They never once actually worked out their issues, or even acknowledged their problems

The thing about Stelena, anon, is that when they do have an issue, it isnt simply acknowledged but it’s resolved and it’s resolved rather immediately so that they don’t have to spend so much time on one issue because they’ve already worked through it and have a better understanding of each other because of it. Every argument or setback that Elena has serves to make them a stronger couple. Case and point.

1x04:

1x05:

In 1x06 when Elena confronts Stefan about being a vampire:

He spends the entire episode answering her questions and beginning to tell her about his past:

and Elena is satisfied with Stefan’s explanation but the issue between them hasn’t resolved yet because she doesn’t know if she can handle being with him and so they don’t move past it, she tells him they can’t be together, which directly contradicts your claim:

And in 1x07 it’s clear that the feelings are still there and yet she doesn’t rush into his arms, he doesn’t push her to because the issue isn’t resolved:

But in 1x09 when Stefan helps Elena despite their circumstances and saves Bonnie:

Elena realizes she doesn’t have to fight her feelings anymore because at his core, Stefan is a good man, he has proven it to her by trying to help Vicki and by trying to get rid of Damon to protect her and Caroline and now by saving Bonnie so the issue is resolved for her because she knows she can be with him, however it isn’t resolved for Stefan so he walks away:

In 1x10 Stefan succumbs to his love for Elena because Elena makes it perfectly clear that her issues are resolved, she’s walking in with open eyes and she loves hm and she trusts him:

Essentially, the issue for SE in season 1 was trust and building that trust through vulnerability and communication, through honesty and they make good on that, they tell each other how they feel even if it’s something they don’t want to admit because they will not be kept in the dark from each other:

In season 2 their issue was external forces trying to tear them apart and them staying strong in the midst of that. In 2x06 Elena breaks up with Stefan because Katherine hurt Jenna, that is their issue:

2x06:

So Stefan partly resolves it in 2x07 by taking Katherine down:

but like I said, it’s still only partly resolved, that sense of safety hasn’t been put back together for Elena yet so they still remain apart:

And it’s when Stefan proves the lengths he’ll go to to make sure the people around him and Elena are safe:

That they reconcile:

And even during their time apart, Stefan and Elena remain open with each other, Stefan encourages Elena to just feel her emotions, to let everything out and let him in:

which she does after expressing how she thinks everything is because of her

And then in 2x15 when they are together, they disagree on the best way to handle Klaus and Elijah and they have that out

which is resolved because Elena chooses to fight and she has Stefan at her side:

I have so many posts that breakdown how they got through season 3, you can read a few of them here:

http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/146761737865/the-3x22-delena-retcon-really-does-come-across-as

http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/155811077060/omg-i-never-noticed-stefans-face-in-the-background

http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/155965695700/in-3x22-elena-talks-to-matt-about-stefan-and

But this takes me to the next part of your claim.

The show romanticizes them to such a degree that Elena tells Stefan that he was a “perfect” boyfriend who never scared her, who was never a monster, as she’s standing next to the bridge that he was about to intentionally drive her off of a year before. The show props them up as “pure” when they weren’t even close

The thing is, anon, Elena is consistently unafraid of Stefan:

and she never thinks of him as a monster

to the point that she consistently opens her veins to him

despite knowing and seeing his demons

because she believes in the kind of person he is, in the good man he is, in his desire to combat the darkness to the point that he had become suicidal:

And because it’s been repeatedly proven that she connects to the humanity inside of him, that he is at peace and calm around her so she heads off his ripper tendencies

(^^ it is also clear here that Elena is concerned not afraid)

So because of all of this foundation, all of this groundwork, in season 3, Elena understood the context of Stefan’s situation which was that he was forced into an impossible situation to save his brother and that Klaus compelled him to kill innocent people which is why she can see this:

and still say this:

She saw him fight

Heard these words

Witnessed him defend her

So no, she never thought of him as a monster:

Even long after they broke up and became friends, they still white washed their history.  And that’s not a promising foundation for a future relationship IMO.

Here, you’re just repeating yourself although I find it so rich that you accuse the show of whitewashing SE’s history when all they ever do is whitewash Delena’s history, it’s like the show’s number one priority next to making Bonnie suffer.

I have an entire post on DE’s retcons, here: http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/148984820350/can-you-give-examples-of-delena-retconned-moments

Say what you want about Delena, but their problems were laid out bare on the show. They both acknowledged when their relationship was unhealthy (the only couple to ever do this, mind) and ended up changing so that they could be together in a healthier way which we saw in season 6. And now they’re human and living a normal life, and lasted

So I really need people to stop confusing acknowledging issues with solving them because Damon and Elena never, and I mean never, resolve their issues.

From 5x10 to 5x17, it’s all about how toxic Damon and Elena are and the show thinks it scores points by the fact that Damon can acknowledge that hes a bad influence

but Damon doesn’t stop being a bad influence on Elena. She’s trying to concentrate on Jeremy in 5x17 and he’s intent on distracting her with sex

Damon literally kidnapped Jeremy and told Enzo to choke him because he as upset that Elena broke up with him

much like how three seasons before he snapped Jeremy’s neck because Elena rejected him

and Damon and Elena never even mention it. Instead Damon simply says this

but do we ever get into how Damon’s go to reaction to heartbreak is to punish Elena by killing the people close to her? Does he ever work on that? Because if I remember correctly, Elena has been saying the same shit since season 3:

And your boy STILL doesn’t change. THEY don’t change. Did that 5x16 conversation catalyze a change? Or does this happen instead:

Elena says this:

but do we ever get into how Damon can’t even recognize his own girlfriend? That he is such a narcissist high on his own insecurity that her ex-boyfriend was the one who noticed she wasn’t Katherine and not him?

In 5x17 Elena says they need to be apart because they’re bad for each other and do bad things for each other but is there any real reflection on the problems in their relationship, do either of them do anything to change or does Elena spend 5x18 dreaming about a perfect life with Stefan while Damon tries to stop it.

5x19 Elena is with Stefan again being held hostage by Enzo and Damon tries to get her out.

5x20 Stefan and Elena keep a secret about Enzo’s death while Damon tries to figure it out and they kiss because he was having a bad day.

5x21 Stefan tells her to be with Damon so she listens.

5x22 he blows himself up.

Where is the change, where is the development, where is the growth? There wasn’t any to the point that in season 6, the show had to erase Elena’s memories to start the DE love story over again, talk about whitewashing history, and even in season 6, Damon lies to Elena about the cure because he was once again too involved in his own insecurity and when Lily outs him, Damon and Elena never talk about it. Do not get it twisted, the last thing, the very last thing, Damon and Elena do is evolve from their issues. 

You tried, though.

dear - bonnie/damon -1/1

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“Your hair is so soft…” 

Bonnie rolled her eyes. “And you are so drunk.” 

“Tipsy,” he corrected.

Shaking her head, a fond smile upturning her lips, she watched as he continued to run his fingers through her hair. It was longer than it’d been the last time she saw him. After spending two years abroad, she’d returned to the States feeling stronger, happier, and more confident in herself. She also returned to find out Damon and Elena had broken up. Elena had moved to Boston for medical school while Damon remained behind, playing surly uncle to Caroline’s daughters. 

With a gentle sigh, she rubbed her fingers over his forehead and back through his hair. She wasn’t sure when he’d put his head in her lap, but it was strangely comfortable. In the time she’d been away, she and Damon talked often. Days would pass where all they would do was text back and forth, about anything and everything, and then suddenly, she’d call or he would and they’d spend hours on the phone. Talking about life as a human now, about where she’d been or where she should visit next. In a way, it felt like he was on that journey with her, so entwined with her life as he was. Which was why she was surprised to hear that he and Elena had broken up more than a month ago. 

“You wanna talk about it?” 

He sighed, long and loud. “About what?” 

She cocked her head. “Seriously?” 

“What’s there to say?” 

“I don’t know… The love of your life packed up and left. I thought you’d have a few things to say, or ask. Like, ‘how do I get her back, Bonnie?’” 

Continuing to stroke his fingers through the tails of her hair, he shook his head. “It was a long time coming.” 

“Since when?” Her brow furrowed. “You never mentioned anything.” 

“No? I didn’t slip how unhappy we were getting into one of our four-hour-long conversations?” 

“I think I would’ve remembered…” 

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A Happy Accident

This idea just happened last night. I couldn’t stop writing it… I hope you like it, because I loved writing it!


It wasn’t raining when we started fighting. Somewhere in the middle of our argument the clouds opened up and it was pouring as Cassian walked out of our house. It was as if the sky knew we were at our breaking point. As if the world was mourning the words we said to each other. Cassian threw open the door and left.

The worst part was I told him to leave. I told him not to come back.

I let him get on his motorcycle and ride away. I stood watching in the window as he looked back and then sped down the street. My hands shook as I realized how horrible I had been. This wasn’t entirely Cassian’s fault. I had made him feel even worse about a situation he had no control over.

And now I had no idea where he was.

I tried to calm myself down. The rain kept falling and it wasn’t the kind of weather he should be driving in. I pulled out my phone and swallowed my pride. I clicked on his name and closed my eyes.

“Leave a message. Maybe I’ll get back to you.”

His voice hit the ache in my heart.

“Cass. I didn’t mean it. Please come home. I just. I know this isn’t your fault. I’m sorry. Please. Come home.”

I clicked disconnect and buried my face in my hands. I had finally pushed him far enough away. Even the ring that sparkled on my finger wasn’t enough to save us. My head hurt, my heart throbbed. Cassian was the only person who ever truly cared for me. And I had finally broken him.

A tear slid down my cheek as thunder boomed in the background of my misery.

I slid down to the floor, clutching my phone and begging for it to ring. I just wanted to hear his voice, even if it was to tell me he wasn’t coming home. I wanted him to yell at me. If he yelled at me it meant he still cared. But when he walked out that door he was silent. And his silence spoke volumes.

I had finally pushed him too far.

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It Hurts Like Hell 
                                       - Part VII
Kai Parker x Reader


Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6
word count :3 151
warning : contains smut
*not my gif
___________________________


After Y/N had turned things hadn’t gone as smoothly as she had hoped.
Stefan had kept his promise and helped her with the transition - teaching her how to feed , compell and of course how to clean up afterwards…and somehow he was the only one of her former friends she could stand to be around. Becoming a vampire had changed her forever and there was no going back.

About a year after Kai had died , Y/N turned off her humanity switch. As a vampire her emotions were magnified and she just couldn’t hold on anymore. Her emotions were drowning her. It was her only way out. Her friends had tried to get her to flip the humanity switch back more than a couple of times , but there was nothing in the world that could do the trick for her. Kai was the only person she had ever truly loved and cared about , regardless of what he had done and he was gone.

Despite having her humanity switch flipped off , Y/N kept going to Kai’s grave every day. It was the only place in the whole world that still held some meaning to her. It was the place she had made the choice to become a vampire and the place the love of her life was buried.
Y/N was there that day when Damon called her to tell her that Kai was back. She couldn’t believe what Damon was telling her , thinking it was some plot they had created to get her to flip her humanity switch back on. Over the past few years they had tried that trick more than a few times , every time she figured it out before they had succeeded. In truth she didn’t want her humanity back on. What would be the point if there was no one for her to care about ?


* * *

When Kai had come back from Hell , he thought somehow he had gotten another chance but pretty soon it became clear that he wasn’t really back and at any moment he might slip back to Cade’s world of hurt. A few days had passed since the Maxwell bell rang 11 times and Kai thought he’d pay a visit to his old ‘friends’ in town , putting a plan in motion that would make all of the people who ever hurt him or stood in his way pay for what they did. Specially Damon… but first he needed to find her and for that , as much as he hated it - he needed help.

Kai barely managed to get out of Damon’s camaro , trying hard not to listen in on Damon’s phone conversation with Y/N. He did however caught her voice here and there and it made him feel happiness he hadn’t experienced in years. During his time in Hell , the memory of her had kept him sane. No matter what Cade did to him or how much he suffered , Y/N was the one holding him together.
“Did it sound like she missed me ?” Kai asked , a slither of hope in his voice. He needed to see her…
“Um … ” Damon trailed off , “Not exactly.”
Kai’s heart broke a little. She hated him. He knew this would happen… Y/N was the only friend he ever had and understood him , the only person he ever truly loved and cared about… and she hated him.
“Please , Damon. I need to see her. I need…” he swallowed hard , pausing for a few moments. “I love her.”
Damon took some convincing but he agreed to help , making a deal with him to unlink Elena’s life from Bonnie’s.
Kai wouldn’t stop asking questions about Y/N all the way to the Salvatore house. What happened to her ? Was she happy ? Damon reluctantly filled him on the events from the past few years :
Y/N had died the same day he had. She had tried to take her own life because the pain of him being gone had been too big , not realising Kai’s vampire blood had been in her system due his compulsion. She had turned into one of their worst nightmares.
“She flipped the humanity switch nearly a year later and we haven’t been able to get her back since. Not for the lack of trying.” Damon said. “You are going to help with that too.”
Kai laughed nervously. “What makes you think I can do that ? And more importanly - why would I ? Sounds to me like Y/N and I have a lot more in common now than we did before. She doesn’t need ‘fixing’ , Damon.”
“Listen to me , creeper.” Damon had said menacingly. “The only reason why I haven’t personally sent you back to Hell is because I need YOU to get Elena back for me and if in the process you snap Y/N out of her murderous mood swings , then you WILL do BOTH.”
Kai raised his hands in defeat. “Fine. I’ll do both.”
He turned to look out the car window , smiling to himself. Before Y/N had been the only thing keeping him from being the monster everyone saw when they looked at him. She had started to change him but now … to him it sounded like she was a completely different person and hearing all the things she had done to get back at everyone for taking him away - it sounded like she had taken some of his qualities.
“There is just this pesky little thing you have to worry about later…” Damon said before pulling over infront of the Salvatores. “Her guilt for everything she had done , after she flips the switch back.”


When they got inside , Y/N wasn’t there but Damon had a pretty good idea where she might be. They walked into the forest , towards the place where Kai’s body had been buried. A few meters away , Damon stopped , patted Kai on his back and pointed towards Y/N. Kai took a deep breath and walked towards her.
“Hey.” he said standing a few steps away from her. Y/N hadn’t even heard them coming , she had been lost in her thoughts. She turned around , her face pale as if she had seen a ghost.
“You are not real…” Y/N whispered. “It’s Bonnie , she is playing with my head again.” Y/N backed away a few steps. “GET OUT OF MY HEAD !” she screamed.
Kai took a few steps towards her , taking her hands in his.
“It’s REALLY me. I am back … well , sort of. One foot on this side , one in Cade’s world of hurt.” Kai laughed nervously. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Y/N was the most beautiful girl he had ever layed eyes on and it seemed like a dream that she was really standing infront of him right now. He had thought he’d never see her again.
“K-Kai ?” she said cupping his face , tears starting to stream down her face. He grinned at her. “Oh my God!” she gasped , kissing his lips.
Y/N had missed him so much , the realisation hitting her seconds after her humanity switch had flipped back on. He wrapped his hands around her , pulling her closer , burring his face in her neck breathing in her scent. She did the same , breathing in deeply , refusing to let go.
“Alright …” Damon interrupted. “Reunion time over. We have work to do.”
None of them moved , Kai and Y/N had fallen into a world in which only they existed. Kai refused to let go of her and Y/N was hugging him tighter and tighter as if he might disappear any second.
“Break it up.” Damon said and finally Y/N pulled away , starring angrily at him.
“Would you back off ?!” she nearly yelled at him. “We haven’t seen each other in 4 years , thanks to you… so unless you want me to rip your heart and feed it to you , I suggest you shut up.”
Kai laughed , he liked this new Y/N even more than the human version. “Damn..!” he said , placing a kiss on her forehead.
“Fine. Have your fun time reunion.” Damon raised his hands. “Just make sure this weasel doesn’t back off on our deal.” he said turning around leaving them alone.
Y/N looked at Kai confused. “What deal ?”
Kai winked at her and with a flick of his wrist he snapped Damon’s neck.
“Magical neck snap. Love this !” he laughed. “I promised Damon to wake up Elena , if he brought me to you.” Kai said simply. Anger flashed through Y/N’s eyes and that didn’t go unnoticed.
“What .. what is it?” he asked.
“You are not going to bring Elena back. Not after everything he did to you , to us.” she said , her tone making it clear it was not up for discussion.
“I’m not planing on doing that anyways.” he said winking at her , making her feel butterflies in her stomach for the first time since she turned. “So , tell me princess … How was your life the past 4 years ? Damon said you were a monster.” he said putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. Kai said it with pride and it made Y/N laugh.
“I’ll tell you everything. Lets go home first. We have a lot of catching up to do.” she said with a devilish smirk before kissing him again. “I missed you so much Malachai.”
“Actually , there is something else we have to do first … ” he said glancing at her. “It won’t take long.”
As they walked past Damon’s body , Y/N knelt down and reached inside his pocket taking out the keys for his camaro.
“Thank - you.” she said stepping over him and wrapping her hand around Kai’s waist.
Kai shook his head. Whatever had happened in her life the past few years , she was different …and he liked her even more this way.

On the way to her old high school , Kai kept glancing at her with a worried expression.
“What is it ?” she asked finally.
“Um nothing … Damon said after you flip the switch back , you might drown in guilt for everything you’ve done the past few years , but you don’t seem to be drowning in anything else besides happiness.” he said a little confused.
Y/N smiled. She’d be lying if she said there wasn’t guilt trying to fight its way into her mind , but her love for Kai was stronger. All the emotions she felt towards him trumped everything else.
“Why would I feel guilty ? Damon is the one who should feel guilty.Whatever I’ve done it was his fault.” she said ,parking the camaro on the school’s empty parking lot. “I’m happy , Kai. For the first time in a long time..” she said turning towards him.“You are here and nothing else matters. Just you …and me.”

They wondered around the emtpy corridors of Mystic Falls High School on their way to the boiler room. Kai hadn’t explained much about what they were doing there but he had told her it was payback for what Damon had done to them.
Y/N couldn’t stop smiling and neither could Kai. He couldn’t tear his eyes off of her as she twirled and laughed. Somehow she had gotten hotter or maybe it was because he had missed her so much. Being around Y/N again was intoxicating , he wanted her more than ever before.
“I so do not miss this place.” she said twirling a few steps infront of Kai before he suddenly pinned her to the lockers , kissing her deeply. “That however … I missed more than you can imagine.” Y/N said nearly out of breath smiling before wrapping her hands around his neck pulling him in for another kiss , his body pressed against hers and his crotch grinding against hers soft moans escaping her lips as she wound one of her legs around his waist giving him more access.
Kai pulled away for a second , his eyes black with lust looking directly into hers while his fingers brushed her cheek gently. She bit her lower lip as her hand slided between their bodies , rubbing him through his jeans earning a little moan from him.
“Oh I think there is another thing you missed more …” Kai said , leaning in to whisper in her ear. “I’d take you right in this hallway and get you so sore you wouldn’t able to move for a week.”
Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach.
“What’s stopping you ?” she asked her hand tugging at his shirt. A low growl escaped from Kai’s throat as she slid her hand under his jeans and her fingers drew circles on his lenght through his boxers , her eyes locked on his the whole time. He was right , it wasn’t the kisses she missed the most - it was having him deep inside her that nearly drove her crazy the past few years.
Kai’s lips smashed against hers with such force as if he was trying to swallow her hole taking her breath away. He was grinding against her harder and faster now , his lips moving to kiss her jawline placing sloppy kisses on their way towards her neck. The school hallways echoed with soft moans and heavy breathing. His hand slided under her shirt squeezing her breasts , gently pinching her nipples making her gasp before his fingers trailed down her stomach , pushing their way in her underwear rubbing her clit before sliding two fingers inside.
It was as if they were the only two people in the whole universe except they had company…

“If you two love birds are done … Blue eyes and I have work to do.” said a female voice , startling both of them , they had been so consumed in what they were doing , none of them had noticed they weren’t alone.
Y/N & Kai pulled away from eachother reluctantly , Kai giving a small wave to their surprise ‘guest’ while Y/N froze on the spot. She’d recognise that voice and the tone she spoke with anywhere - Katherine. She was back too and Y/N wasn’t too happy about it considering all the things Katherine had done to her all the way back in high school. It hadn’t been enough for Katherine to use Caroline for her ditry work , oh no … She had compelled her and nearly gotten her killed a few times trying to get what she wants.
“So thats the girl you fell in love with ? She is friends with them. Why did you bring her here?” Katherine said annoyed.
Y/N scoffed. “Get caught up on current events Katherine. I want nothing more than having Damon’s happiness taken away for good. It’s time for him to pay…” Y/N said taking a few steps towards her. “OH and call my boyfriend anything other than his name ever again , you will find yourself back in Hell before you’ve had the chance to even blink. I’ll be happy to return the ‘favors’ from the past , I owe you a few if my memory serves correct.”
Kai looked genuinly amused , he had never seen Y/N jealous and he kind of turned him on even more.

Katherine looked surprised at Y/N’s answer.
“Looks like our sweet little Y/N is no longer sweet. Good , the old you was boring.” she said. “Let’s go Blue eyes.” Katherine said turning on her heels and walking down the hall. Kai wrapped his hands around Y/N from the back to hold her back because clearly she had meant all her treats. Y/N felt his hard lenght and was nearly ready to snap Katherine’s neck just for interrupting them.
“It doesn’t mean anything.” he whispered, his breath tickling the skin on her neck. “I only have eyes for you.”
“I know , I just .. can’t stand her… ” she let out a frustrated groan. “Lets just … get this over with… I want to finish what we started without interruptions this time.”
He spin her around making her face him.
“Are you OK?” he asked worried. Y/N just nodded , taking his hand in hers. There was no way she’d let go of him for a second.
A few minutes passed in silence as they kept walking , Y/N tryingto figure out how Kai knew Katherine… but the answer to that question seemed to escape her.
“How do you even know her ?” she asked in a hushed voice. Not that Katherine could hear them , she was a human now.
“She found me a little after I … ” he swallowed hard. “We bonded over our hate for Damon and everything he and his obnoxious friends had done to us. Katherine has Cade wrapped around her little finger ,you know. It’s been like that since she the moment she stepped foot in Hell. Why do you think Cade was so interested in Stephan and Damon - its all because of her.” Kai said.
Y/N chuckled. “Who would’ve thought that Katherine and I would have a common goal…”

When they got to the boiler room Kai waisted no time setting up a boundary spell , making sure Elena’s body can enter but can’t be brought out if someone tried to.
Later on Kai was supposed to steal Elena’s coffin and bring her there.

“What if your plan fails?” Y/N asked , it was a possibility knowing what her former friends were capable of.
“Oh honey , do you really think I haven’t thought of a Plan B … C and … well , you know how the alphabet goes.” Katherine said. “Vicky Donovan will ring the Maxwell Bell 12 times and this town will burn along with everyone dumb enough to stay. There is nothing they can do stop it…and even if they do , Hell cannot be destroyed. I’ll come back and keep coming back until they all have payed.”
Y/N glanced at Kai. He couldn’t possibly think about staying in Mystic Falls considering what Katherine wanted. There had to be a way to get him all the way out of Hell before all this goes down and an idea started to form in her mind.
“Well , it was nice seeing you Katherine… but if you don’t mind , me and my boyfriend have things to do.” Y/N said walking towards Kai when Katherine stopped her , putting a hand on her chest pushing her back a bit. Even as a human she was strong. “Get out of my way.”
“Don’t even think about crossing me or letting your friends know I am back. Not yet.” she said as Y/N pushed her off.
“Thought crossed my mind , but I am not stupid.” Y/N said , taking Kai’s hand.
“Goodbye Katherine.”

Y/N couldn’t wait for her and Kai to finish what they started earlier and by the looks of it Kai couldn’t wait either because on their way out , he shoved her inside one fo the empty classrooms locking the door behind them.

_______________

SPOILER ALERT : (next part starts from THIS point on … )

😉


_____________________

MASTERLIST March / April 2017



MASTERLIST MAY 2017


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The Allure of Darkness

Prompt: I just love the myth of Persephone, I mean the real, original version of it, because it’s not like she got kidnapped, no, this bitch was la-de-da-ing in a meadow and she just happened to find an entrance to the Underworld and she was like “Imma check this out”. And she just wanders into the Underworld and discovers that hey this place ain’t too bad.

Meanwhile, Hades is in the background “????? UM??? PRETTY GIRL??? WHY ARE YOU HERE?????? YOU AREN’T DEAD???”

And Persephone (who was originally called Kore just a little FYI) just looked at him and said “I like it here. I’m staying.”


Based off of this post.

A/N: Because I saw this and had to write it. Also, I’ve always wanted to do a Hades and Persephone AU. Really crack, I’m so sorry.

No beta.

For @wavesofjoyy


Caroline lay sprawled out on the meadow, staring forlornly up at the clouds and she fisted at the blades of grass beneath. She had honestly, never been more bored in her life. Perhaps Bonnie and Elena were content to frolick around aimlessly without a care in the world of a thought in their heads but Caroline was not. Was it wrong to wish to see something other than blue skies and endless patches of flowers, literally everywhere? Caroline’s mother had always warned her that her sense of adventure would get her into trouble but why on earth should the Hercules have all the fun?

She sighed and stood to her feet. As she looked down she realised that she’d been lying in the same spot for so long she’d left an imprint in the grass. Caroline began wandering aimlessly, hoping in vain that something interesting would happen, when suddenly something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. A flower blood red and by far the most exotic Caroline had ever seen. And as the Goddess of vegetation, she’d seen pretty much all of them.

She sunk to her knees and ducked down in order to examine it. Admiring the shape of the leaves and the tiny flecks of colour inside the nectary. Caroline decided immediately that it was far too beautiful for her to just leave it there and not take it with her. She’d pick it and show it to her friends, so they could ooh and ah at it and then she’d bring it home and tend to it in her own personal garden. Despite the fact that she could practically hear her mother’s voice warning her away from going near strange, foreign things she wasn’t certain of; Caroline reached out her hands to pick the flower from the dirt.

All at once there was a rumbling sound from beneath her. By the time Caroline felt the ground give away under her weight it was too late to do anything to stop it. She fell and kept falling for a very long time. Oddly enough she didn’t feel an ounce of fear as she made her descent, rather a sense of gratitude that the old Gods had heard her petition for excitement in her life.


When she woke up, instead of grass beneath her feet Caroline realised she was lying on very plush, expensive carpet in a very long corridor. Curiosity immediately took a hold of her and she got up and began to explore, without once questioning the strangeness of the situation. The house she had ended up in wasn’t a house at all. It was more like a mansion, obviously owned by someone important - or at least someone extremely rich. Every room she walked into was more grandiose than the next, each one decorated with lavish furniture and artwork. The decor wasn’t exactly to Caroline’s taste, far too gothic. However, the owner obviously had style and she could appreciate their vision, although there was one of two things she would change had she been put in charge.

Eventually, she found her way outside. What appeared to be the entrance of the house led out to a large garden which was equally as luxurious as the house, although there were no flowers or anything growing from the earth save for a single pomegranate tree right at the back. In the centre of the gardens was a fountain that appeared to be producing some sort of gold, metallic liquid instead of water. She was just about to reach out and touch it when…

“Who are you?”

Caroline screeched and jumped three feet in the air. She turned around and came face to face with perhaps the most sinfully handsome man she’d ever seen. The man wore all black and was tall and lean but still muscular. His sand coloured hair rested in little cherub curls on his forehead, his lips were full and red and made Caroline flush in embarrassment thinking about what they would feel like against her skin. What truly captivated her, though, were his eyes; dark, intense and trained on her as she gaped at him like an idiot.

“I- I’m sorry, I… I don’t…”

Caroline felt her entire body heat as the man drew closer toward her.

“One minute I was in the meadow and now I’m- well… here,” Caroline tilted her head and frowned.

“Where exactly is here?”

The man’s obscenely red lips were pulled into a smirk as he took another step forward.

“The underworld sweetheart,”

“The what!?” she exclaimed, her eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets.

“The underworld, as in-?”

“Hell? Perdition? Hades? Yes,” The man replied casually, his handsome features growing increasingly more amused at Caroline’s distress.

Oh, this was bad. This was very bad. Caroline could only imagine her mother’s rage when she found out that her only daughter was not only missing but in the lair of satan himself. Speaking of which…

“Wait does that mean that you’re …”

Keep reading

Mischief, Magic, and Mayhem (Part Two)

Pairing: Loki x OC/Reader

A/N: Okay, so even though we’re not at 825, it’s Christmas, so I thought this would be my present to you guys.

Tags:

@after-avenging-hours @casameanlock @dedicatedbff @nicolejones412 @dashingdetectivetimelady @dr-superlocked @juliagolia87 @here-to-wreak-havok @toofangirl @addictivewriter

Word Count: 1,598

Prologue

Part One


Sometime after her conversation with Fury, Elena was standing around as Coulson explained to Thor the safety measures they’d taken to protect Jane.

“It’s no accident, Loki taking Erik Selvig… I dread what he plans for him once he’s done. Erik is a good man.”

Elena looked up at him.

“He talks about you a lot. You changed his life.”

“You changed everything around here.” Coulson added, moving away from the hub.

Thor sighed.

“They were better as they were… We pretend on Asgard that we’re more advanced, but… we come here, battling like bilgesnipe.”

Coulson and Elena exchanged confused glances.

“Like what?”

Thor looked at them curiously.

“You know… huge, scaly, big antlers…” he described, miming the antlers. When he didn’t get any reaction of recognition, he continued, “You don’t have those?”

Coulson shook his head.

“Don’t think so.”

“Well they are repulsive.” The Asgardian grew more serious. “And they trample everything in their path.” He gazed out the window, deep in thought. “When I first came to Earth, Loki’s rage followed me here, and your people paid the price. And now, again.” Thor looked guilty, shaking his head slightly. “In my youth, I courted war…”

“War hasn’t started yet.” Fury broke in. “You think you could make Loki tell us where the Tesseract is?”

Thor shook his head apologetically.

“I do not know. Loki’s mind is far afield. It’s not just power he craves, it’s vengeance. Upon me. There’s no pain would prise this need from him.”

“A lot of guys think that, till the pain starts.”

“What are you asking me to do?”

“I’m asking, what are you prepared to do?”

Keep reading

Hope for Stelena - Why I believe Stelena will still be endgame

Since so many people enjoyed my Difference Between Stelena and Delena post which you can read here, and since things are currently so dreary for us Stelena shippers and the future for our OTP seems so hopeless, I thought I’d discuss why I still believe a Stelena endgame can and will happen.

(There’s not particularly hate towards any ships in this post, although it is more pro-Stelena and Bamon and anti-Delena and Steroline).

Keep reading

A Woman Possessed {Pt.1}

OK! So for those of you who answered my post, there is a majority vote for me to post this one shot in parts so here is part 1, which basically sets up what the one shot will be about and so it is very dialogue heavy don’t worry, Part 2 will be decidedly not) and I really wanted to make the triangle between Bonnie and Kai and Jeremy complicated and realistic and heartbreaking and raw and that means acknowledging Beremy but also being brutally honest about it and about the Bonnie I’ve created in my BonKai Fanfic World and how she feels. I really hope you guys like this and find it intriguing and complex because it is definitely one of my more psychologically interesting one shots … I might also play up Damon’s role in this because a part of me is playing around with the idea of all these men want Bonnie in different ways but that she IS wanted and funnily enough I truly feel like these dynamics and these desires for Bonnie are IN the narrative. So please comment and reblog :) bonkais-witchywoo bonkai-is-life bonkai-diaries bonkaiforever bonkaiqueen bonkaimonluv thewitchandlonerdiaries humbu-bumbu beccacupcakesxo writeturnlove wasabicakes jordanjanellejoy darkbonkai offlinebonkai malachaibennett misslilmel kissmebluesexyvioletsme melissasbamonromantictales mysticfalls-originals l0nd0ninnit much-lemons queensfelicity sunnydrive92 sobeyondtwisted

(not my gifs)

The note said to be at the Salvatore Mansion at two-thirty in the afternoon. Bonnie had woken up to find a thick cream-coloured card on the pillow next to her, Caroline’s precise and swirly handwriting on the front. It was almost like an invitation.

Salvatore Mansion. 2:30 Sharp. Do not blow this off, Bonnie.

           The word sharp had been underlined three times and Caroline had chosen a Tuesday to call this meeting or whatever it was — a day Bonnie had only two morning classes and was free from noon on. It had to be important. Probably supernatural-forces-running-amok-in-Mystic-Falls important and this was the only way Caroline could think to get a hold of her. Bonnie knew she had been a hard person to reach lately; never in the dorm, barely present during lectures, forever sneaking off just after dusk and sneaking back in just before dawn …

Bonnie had been a woman possessed for the past week, driving down roads and walking through campus hallways as if in a fog, only brought to life when she experienced his touch, his gaze  — the only thing that could devastate her with yearning and suffocate her with frustration; the only thing that could make her feel anything deeply.

Kai.

Nights with him had cost her her daily life and she had allowed them to but now it seemed as if her daily life needed her back and so she made it a point to take the note seriously. It was two twenty-eight when she opened the door to the Salvatore Mansion. Bonnie had expected to see everyone in the living room: Caroline, Elena, Stefan, Damon, Tyler, Matt, Alaric. The whole gang. Instead she only saw Elena sitting tensely on the couch and Caroline putting a fruit platter on the coffee table. After a minute she saw that Damon was there too, skulking in the corner and glowering at the room, his arms folded.

This was weird.

“Uh … am I early?”

Quickly, Elena stood up from the couch and rubbed the front of her jeans with her hands. “Bonnie, hi,” she said.

Caroline turned her head away from the coffee table to look at the living room entrance. “Oh, right on time! Come in. We have a fruit platter.”

Damon snorted just as Bonnie said, “Yeah, I can see that. Where’s everyone else?”

“Everyone else?”

“Yeah, aren’t we … isn’t there something wrong?”

“Yes,” said Caroline.

“No,” said Elena, walking up to Caroline and standing next to her. “Not wrong. Well, nothing supernatural at least.”

“But it’s only Tuesday,” said Damon.

Bonnie ignored him. “So then why are we all here?”

“Well,” said Elena. “We’re here, uh, we’re here for you, Bonnie. Because we’re worried about you.”

“Why would you be worried about me?”

Caroline’s eyes widened. “Are you kidding me? We’ve—”

Elena nudged Caroline in the ribs and shot her a reproachful look. Immediately, Caroline pressed her lips together and then looked at Bonnie with a mixture of sheepishness and defiance. When she spoke again, Bonnie could tell she was choosing her words carefully. “We’ve noticed some … changes in you lately, drastic changes and we wanted to talk to you about them, about the choices you’re making.”

Bonnie furrowed her eyebrows. “The choices I’m making? What choices? What changes?”

“Oh I don’t know, the staying out all night, the cutting class, the bailing on hot guys like Terrence, the mystery disappearances, the vague excuses for not spending any time with us, the—”

           “Bonnie, look,” said Elena, cutting Caroline off. “We just want to talk. This isn’t about judging you.” And with these words Elena glanced at Caroline pointedly and Caroline sighed deeply, nodding her head.

           “I don’t get it,” said Bonnie. “What would you be judging me for?”

           “Oh come on! We know you’ve been sleeping with Kai!” said Caroline, throwing her hands up in the air.

           There was nothing but resounding silence after Caroline’s exclamation and Bonnie felt herself experience a myriad of emotions. Panic was the most urgent and overwhelming of her reactions but beneath that there was guilt, the same guilt that soured her stomach whenever she and Kai lay next to each other breathless and spent yet hungry for more of each other, for more of what they made each other feel, it was a guilt that had become less consuming over time but still churned inconveniently in her gut whenever she descended to that darkness that always existed within her but that only became seductive whenever she and Kai lost themselves in one another. Beyond that guilt she felt bewilderment — how did they find out she and Kai were sleeping together? And then it came back to her. The day she and Kai had their “makeup” sex, if you could call it that, she hadn’t been too convincing on the phone, sighing and panting, sometimes moaning whenever Kai’s mouth made contact with her body, he’d done that to cause this. He probably didn’t turn off the phone when he took it away from her either. And the bewilderment turned to anger at Kai for forcing this confrontation and yet that anger gave way to an odd sense of relief because now she and Kai were no longer a secret, which somehow made it feel less … sinful because her best friends knew and she no longer had to hide. But in a bizarre way, that relief transformed into disappointment because as much as the secret of being with Kai chewed away at her, it also empowered her; it was something that was entirely hers and hers alone, something she didn’t have to share with anyone else when she’d spent so much time giving pieces of herself to those around her and getting nothing return. And finally the disappointment fell away to indignation and resentment at her friends for summoning her here because they obviously felt that they had the moral high ground in this situation.

           After everything they’ve done…

           Bonnie cleared her throat and then looked from Caroline to Elena to Damon to the fruit platter. She just realized that there were cue cards on the coffee table. How long have they been planning this?

She looked to Caroline and Elena again. “Are you hosting an intervention for me because I’m sleeping with Kai?”

           “Bingo!” said Damon. He didn’t move from his corner.

           Bonnie scoffed, shaking her head. “I can’t believe this.”

           “We’re only doing this because we care,” said Caroline.

           “Really? Because it seems like it’s just a reason to stand around and feel superior.”

           “Bonnie, that’s not fair,” said Elena, shocked. “Like we said we’re worried about you and that’s why—”

           The sound of glasses clinking made Elena stop talking and she turned around to look at the living room. Damon was pouring himself a drink from the bar.

           “Damon,” said Caroline. “You don’t drink alcohol at an intervention!”

           “You don’t drink alcohol at an intervention for alcoholism, which this isn’t so I can. I mean …” He took a sip of bourbon. “If I was nose deep in pu—”

           “OK enough,” said Bonnie, raising her hand. “No one asked for your commentary.”

           “In fact no one asked you to be here, Damon,” said Caroline, turning around so she could glare at him from behind her shoulder. “So why are you? This is just for friends.”

           Damon didn’t respond but simply looked at Bonnie, his eyes locking with hers, as he took another large gulp of bourbon from his glass, his expression vehement and almost pained.

           “OK, I think we’re getting sidetracked,” said Elena.

           “Right,” said Caroline, turning back to Bonnie. “Like Elena said, this isn’t about judging you. We called this intervention because we think you’re making a serious mistake and—”

           “You care about me,” said Bonnie, finishing the sentence. “That’s why you brought me here, right?”

           “Yes,” said Caroline and Elena at the same time.

           “And you two, you care about each other, right?”

           “How could you even ask that? We’ve all been best friends since we were kids, practically since we were babies,” said Elena.

           “Exactly, of course me and Elena care about each other,” said Caroline.

           “OK so where was either of your interventions?” said Bonnie, folding her arms.

           There was a pause.

           “I’m sorry, what?” said Elena.

           “Well when you chose Damon over Stefan,” said Bonnie, inclining her head to where Damon was standing. “I don’t remember us holding an intervention for you.”

           Elena opened her mouth and then closed it and then opened it again. “Well it wasn’t like you two brought out the welcome wagon when we first got together, Bonnie.”

           “Because he tried to kill me?” said Bonnie.

           “Kai has also tried to kill me.”

           “Why should that stop me from sleeping with him when Damon trying to kill me didn’t stop you?”

           “It did for —”

           “For what?” said Bonnie. “For a while? Was that what you were going to say? But it wasn’t enough to keep you from seeing him altogether. Him turning Vicki wasn’t enough or him trying to kill Jeremy twice or him killing Tyler’s uncle or him compelling Caroline or —”

           “Hey! I’m right here!” said Damon emphatically.

           Bonnie looked at him. “And?”

           He scowled and drained his glass, opening the decanter to pour himself another drink. “I don’t know why I felt I had to come to this,” he mumbled.        

“I fell in love with him, Bonnie,” said Elena quietly. “And I fought it for as long as I could but he — he made up for everything he’s done —”

“Why? Because you said so? Because he made it up to you when it was other people he hurt?”

“Still right here!”

“Shut up, Damon,” snapped Caroline. “Bonnie, are you forgetting that Kai left you in a prison world to die? Didn’t he stab you in the gut?”

“Didn’t Tyler bite you and infect you with werewolf venom?”

“Only because Klaus used the Sirebond and forced him to!”

“Yeah and then you slept with Klaus. And he also stabbed you and bit you. And he killed Tyler’s mom.”

“I should’ve never slept with Klaus,” said Caroline.

“But you did and there was no intervention for you was there?”

“The way you’re defending Kai, Bonnie,” said Elena. Bonnie saw Damon about to take a sip of his drink but then stop and look in her direction. “What is it between you two?”

Bonnie shook her head and sighed. “I’m not defending Kai, I’m defending my privacy and my right to do what I want.”

“Which is having sex with Kai,” said Caroline.

“Yes,” said Bonnie.

“Jesus, the sex can’t be that good,” said Damon, opening the decanter yet again to top off his glass.

“You wouldn’t be able to handle it if I told you just how good it was, Damon,” said Bonnie waspishly.

Damon’s jaw tightened. He looked like he was about to say something when another voice forestalled him.

“How good what was?”

Another loud silence filled the empty room; everyone stilled. That voice…

Slowly, Bonnie turned around. “Jeremy,” she whispered.

Jeremy stood in the foyer, a large duffle bag hanging off his shoulder. His hair was longer than it was when she saw him last, almost floppy like it had been when they were in high school.

“Hi, Bonnie.” His voice was quiet, the way he said her name, it was almost soft. The tenderness in his tone sent an initial shock of anger through Bonnie that dissipated as abruptly as it came forth and then Bonnie suffered thousands of emotions at once, more intense than what she’d felt when Caroline had told her they knew about Kai because now her emotions were attached to images, memories. Her and Jeremy’s first kiss. The night she channelled him and lost her powers. Him talking to Anna’s ghost in front of her. The tears she’d shed when she found out he’d kissed Anna. The day he left Mystic Falls. The night she gave her own life for his. The first time they’d made love. Their last phone call before she’d gone to the prison world. The numerous calls she’d made when she found her way back from hell. The constant voicemails. The never-ending dial tone. The abandonment, the love, the loss, the longing, the betrayal, the heartbreak, the inevitable numbness … and it all had transformed into another bout of anger, shades of which were directed at him but most of which was directed at herself.  

Bonnie turned to Elena. “You called him here?”

“I thought that you maybe needed to see him.”

“You shouldn’t’ve…”

“What’s going on? I could hear the yelling from outside.”

“An intervention, Little Gilbert,” said Damon. “I could’ve told Vampire Barbie it would go sideways. Interventions never end well. I should know. I have a ripper for a brother.”

“We should’ve used the cue cards,” said Caroline, mumbling to herself.

“Wait, an intervention for what?” said Jeremy. “For who?”

“Well —”

“Damon,” said Elena, her voice a warning. She shook her head.  

Damon sighed. “Not important,” he said.

Jeremy switched his gaze from Damon back to Bonnie, a significant look intensifying his expression, and he walked toward her but she moved away.

“I can’t, I can’t do this. I have somewhere else I need to be,” said Bonnie, moving toward the front entrance.

Caroline and Elena took a step toward her. “Bonnie, where are you going?”

“Yeah,” said Jeremy, inching closer to her. “I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you. There’s so much I’ve wanted to say…”

Bonnie looked at him, her lips parted and she felt a familiar warmth twinge in her chest; a warmth unique to Jeremy except it was dulled now and somehow distant, almost like an echo. She blinked. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Maybe later.”

She left the Mansion quickly, Jeremy’s expression a dominant image in her mind, the feel of Damon’s eyes as they watched her back a shadow on her skin. She could still hear Elena’s moralistic concern and Caroline’s self-righteous worriedness as she charged down the driveway. When she finally got back into her car, she started to drive without a destination in mind, the need to just aimlessly wander and decompress her motivation to put her foot to the gas. It had been months since she’d seen Jeremy; not even seen but heard — he didn’t return one of the many messages she’d left when she’d returned from the prison world much less visit her to see if she was really back in the flesh. It had wounded her. Deeply. Jeremy was the first person she’d ever really loved, the first person she realized she’d do absolutely anything for, he had been her everything before she’d gone to the prison world. There’d been nothing she wouldn’t have given him and she had given her life for his not one but two times to prove it. And he hadn’t returned even one of her phone calls when she finally clawed her way out of the magical nineties.

But that’s not the problem …

No. That wasn’t the problem. At least not anymore. The problem was … she hadn’t forgotten about Jeremy because that would be impossible, utterly unfathomable, but he didn’t belong to her anymore and she didn’t belong to him and that divorce of connection went beyond the simplicity of labels like girlfriend and boyfriend. No, ever since the prison world, Bonnie’s life had been split in two. Pre-1990s Bonnie and Post-1990s Bonnie. And Jeremy didn’t mean to Post-1990s Bonnie what he meant to Pre-1990s Bonnie. It wasn’t just that he didn’t fit into her current life, the love she’d had for him and the love he’d had for her, the way it had made her feel, it didn’t move her now, it barely even made sense to her, remembering Jeremy was like remembering another life, like looking into the memories of someone who wasn’t her.

And now he was back.

Now he was here. In Mystic Falls. In her vicinity. Maybe he didn’t expect anything, maybe he knew not to ask for them to get back together but there’d been an unspoken understanding between him and Pre-1990s Bonnie, that in some way, shape or form, they were forever. No matter how much life changed or how far apart they grew, the understanding was that their love would be a constant and something they’d both give in to even if it was only for a week or a day or an hour. They could always return to each other. But that Bonnie was dead. He’d gazed at her in the Salvatore Mansion ready to return to her but there was no one there to return to him. And it angered her. It angered her that a piece of herself, a piece of herself that could revel in the simplicity of love, that could be content with warmth, that could appreciate innocence, was gone. It angered her that this Bonnie had found herself parked outside Kai’s house even though she’d had no intention of stopping there or anywhere, to just keep driving. It angered her that even now, even with everything going on within her, she was still a woman possessed, a woman drawn to the person who had complicated everything for her.

Original Imagine: Imagine Alaric comforting you when you’re upset, and you kiss him but apologize, but he just kisses you back. & Imagine riding Alaric, and having him hold you and watch you as you do.

Author: S

Reader Gender: Female

Word Count: 2088

Warnings: Smut.

It’s 8pm now, and you’ve been sat on the sofa, staring at the little clock on the side table for an hour. You don’t know what you’ve been waiting here for really. You somehow just didn’t want to do anything else. So sitting in your night dress for the rest of the night seemed like the best idea.

Keep reading

Imma write a thing. 

Haven’t done this in a while but this just keeps hitting me when I see Damon’s face in this gif (from the lovely bonneibennett’s set) so here goes nothing: this dude has spent the better part of 5 seasons thinking getting Elena to love him/see good in him/choose him over his brother as the be all, end all of his life. The ultimate redemption/validation. “Greatest thing I ever did” or whatever the hell hallmark card he plagiarized in the season 5 finale. And the reason for that, or at least this is what it felt like to me, was that Elena was painted out as this fiercely good person who had all this compassion and kindness and blah the hell blah, so if someone like that could love someone like Damon, then obviously he wasn’t that bad of a guy.

Problem is, there’s a difference between being a compassionate person and being someone who sees what they want to see in people, and Elena’s ‘compassion’, to me, feels a lot less like kindness and a lot more like giving in to something detrimental to others that benefits her because she’s only seeing what she wants to see. When Damon tells her he left Enzo to die/killed all those family members, she makes excuses for him. When he kills innocent people in general now, she brushes it off. The only thing she ever seems to get mad at anymore is him putting himself, not others, in danger, and this is so at odds with who she was before that it almost felt like she just made the call that Damon was 'good’ now and so everything he does can be bent into something justifiable.

She does the same with Stefan, honestly - he was this saint to her and despite learning all about his ripper past she still sees him as this pure, saintly guy who could never understand the dark, twisted, bloodlusty passion her and Damon have and could never awaken the same dark, dangerous things in her, and it’s just stupid. Dude’s got a bigger death toll than Damon could ever dream of and was besties with mothereffin' Klaus. And this is probably in large part a fault of the writing and not the character, but still, point is Elena is really binary in how she views people and her 'compassion’ tends to feel a lot more like selfishness/doormat-iness when it only extends to the person hurting other people and not the other people (oftentimes her family/friends) who are getting hurt.

To me, a truly compassionate person can’t sit back and see mindless suffering or petty revenge plots being exacted and excuse it, because they’ll inevitably have more compassion for victims than victimizers. A truly compassionate person inevitably sides with innocent people they don’t even know because all the redeeming qualities in the world can’t make a murderer’s life more worth-saving than an average joe with a good heart and a family. Thats compassion. Caring about the people that don’t benefit you. There’s no agenda, no bias, nothing to be gained - it’s just pure, instinctive heroism and kindness, and for all the hot air about Elena Gilbert and how much she cares about other people, her 'caring’ seems to be pretty limited to her love life (and has been for a while now).

The true compassionate hero of this show, the true person who, if won over, means you must be doing something fucking right because she see forever sees things for what they are and has zero to gain from seeing someone who’s caused her and her loved ones and innocent people she instinctively seeks to protect so much pain in a better light, is Bonnie Bennett. Her, flattery won’t win over. Her, there’s no switch to flip that’s suddenly going to get her to excuse what you do. Her, she has no vested interest in fashioning you into a good person because she isn’t desperately trying to show everyone that her choice to love you makes sense. She’s just an indisputably selfless, loyal, compassionate motherfucking hero. There’s no loophole. No fast-track to getting her approval. She judges on actions, not words; on reality, not potential; so Damon could say or cry about whatever he wants and she won’t bat an eyelash until she sees something.

Here, for instance, this gif set, is a perfect example of that - she isn’t telling Damon there’s hope for him because he spouted some flowery, self-loathing monologue about regretting what he did. He even called killing that pregnant woman the worst day of his life and she threw that right back in his face and compared him to Kai because his actions suggested he’d rather get back home and unleash Kai on innocent people than keep everyone safe. It was his actions that promoted this gem of a moment. The fact that he makes pancakes. The fact that he’s in Hell over this moment. He didn’t tell her he was sorry, he just is sorry, and that’s why she read him like a mothereffin’ grimoire (and, might I add, didn’t come within the fucking zipcode of telling him what he did was understandable or okay or anything less that utterly abhorrent. Just that, based on his actions, that murderousness wasn't who he was. Just something truly terrible that he did. So the ball was in his court to be whatever the hell kind of person he wanted to be.)

I’m getting off-topic again, but all of this senseless rambling is supposed to telescope into this point: Delena (arguably) didn’t work well because Damon put all of his redemption hopes into a girl who honestly just isn’t a hero. She’s a broken, lost teenage girl with hormones and selfish impulses and immaturities and issues and getting a girl like that to love you doesn’t fix you. It doesn’t change you. It doesn’t make all your past mistakes alright or magically erase your dark or murderous urges - if anything, it just starts influencing her to be more like you, because you’ve have 160-something years to figure out who you are as a vampire and she’s had like none. Thus, when she starts pulling the crap of excusing his bullshit or doing Damon-y things, he doesn’t like it. It feels wrong, toxic, like it’s ruining the very girl he fell for, and in my opinion, it’s because he didn’t fall for Elena the girl, he fell for Elena the ideal. 

That ideal - who he thought or wanted Elena to be - is actually a hell of a lot closer to who Bonnie is than who Elena is. And I’m pretty sure that deep-down, throughout seasons of snarky resentment and begrudging respect, Damon’s always known that. In fact, I think it was what made him seemingly dislike her so much, because he didn’t actually think he could ever get approval from the real thing, but he could probably get it from Elena, who was close enough. And the problem was that once he actually 'got the girl’, nothing happened. He didn’t feel that sense of validation because all it really meant was that Elena had gone from making the 'best decisions’ to the 'worst decisions’ - she was the one that changed, that compromised, not him. Even in that speech Stefan gave her in this episode, it was about how Damon affected her, not the other way around. Elena changed for Damon, and that was the exact opposite of what he’d had in mind.

THUS, when Bonnie says what she says in this gif set - when she analyzes his actions in that 600000% hero brain of hers and comes to the conclusion that there’s hope for him - look at the face he makes. It’s the face of someone who’s feeling something for the first time. There’s confusion there. Weight there. And it’s that moment right there - the moment that seems to scream 'holy shit. This is what it feels like. It isn’t validation, it isn’t redemption, it’s a call to motherfucking arms. I didn’t have to convince her that I’m better, I didn’t have to fake anything or do anything I didn’t want to do, I didn’t have to pretend to care about something or force myself to do something just to please her - I didn’t have to do anything. She just saw it in me because… it is me’ - that’s the moment that just gets me. The confirmation he’s looking for - the feeling of being worth something, of being a person someone’s proud of - he doesn’t get that from getting Elena to sleep with him a few hours after murdering someone, or doing something he knows she wants him to do. He gets it from having someone like Bonnie Savior of the Planet Bennett read him - HIM, Damon Salvatore, plain and unaffected and unaware of being read - and inspire him to be better by seeing a small, but instinctive potential for good.

Good recognizes good, and it doesn’t get better than Bonnie Bennett. 

Was super busy yesterday so I’m a bit late with Day 6, but I am determined to finish all the days, so here is my Mythological Creature AU, a twist on the myth of Medusa, as suggested by @letsnotsaygoodbyethistime

I’m using the non-watered down version of the myth, so brief mention of past non-con.

*

Monster

*

Klaus gripped his sword and shield tightly as he entered the darkened temple ruins, senses on alert. He knew it was dangerous, foolish according to his brother Elijah, but he had the blessing of the goddess Elena, who had gifted him a mirrored shield. With her guidance, surely he would be able to slay the monster that dwelled within and win the hand of the beautiful Tatia.

“Another trespasser? Why can’t you all leave me in peace?”

The feminine voice cut through the darkness, seeming to come from every direction at once. Klaus spun around, barely resisting the urge to look for the source of the voice, knowing one look would spell his end. Instead, he focused on the sounds around him, trying to pinpoint the location of the speaker; of the monster.

“Oh? Nothing to say? Usually your kind is full of declarations and boasts. I’m almost disappointed.”

Klaus smirked, intrigued. Who would have thought a monster would have a sense of humor? “Forgive me for not meeting your expectations, sweetheart. I just see no point in engaging in banter with a monster.”

The sound of shifting stone came from his left, Klaus turned his head in that direction, raising his shield defensively as he listened for any further noise.

“Monster, huh. You ‘heroes’ all seem rather fond of that term. But tell me, warrior, what is a monster?”

The question made him frown, not understanding. “I’m not sure what you mean. Shouldn’t you know what you are?”

Derisive laughter rang through the cavernous area. “So you think I’m the monster in this scenario, hmm? You men are all the same.”

Klaus wasn’t sure what to make of her words. “I don’t understand. Are you trying to convince me that you’re not? After all the men you’ve turned to stone? If this is some tactic to catch me off guard, I promise you it will not work.”

The disembodied voice was bitter this time. “It is not my fault that they came here! They tried to kill me, every last one of them, when I had done them no offense. And I cannot control who I turn to stone, I could not have spared them even if I wished it.”

“Are you saying that you do not deserve to be killed? Not even as punishment for your crimes against the gods?”

Crimes?!” The voice was incredulous this time. “My crimes… “ The words trailed off into bitter laughter before they continued, still echoing through the temple. “Tell me, warrior, what do you know of my so called ‘crimes’?”

Klaus frowned in confusion. Did this creature truly wish for him to recount her own story? “My name is Klaus, and shouldn’t you be familiar with them already?”

“Well Klaus, I am most definitely familiar with my own history. I just doubt that you are.”

“Alright,” he said hesitantly, turning in a slow circle, listening for any signs of attack as he began. “You used to be a beautiful maiden who was extremely proud and vain. You managed to capture the affections of the god Damon, luring him in with your beautiful hair, and sullying the sanctity of a temple of Elena. In punishment, the goddess changed your source of pride into your shame, turning your hair to snakes and making your so hideous that anyone who looked upon you would be turned to stone. Does that sound about right?”

The voice was silent for a few moments, not even the sound of the wind present. “That sounds like the same tale I’ve heard from every intruder who deigned to speak with me, give or take. I particularly liked the version where I tricked Damon into marrying me, though only because it makes him sound like a fool.”

Keep reading

lola2255-blog  asked:

Do you think it's possible for Damon to go back on the deep end if Bonnie and him were to have a fight or short break up if they were to get together? Sorry if that sounds confusing. Love your writing by the way:)

[Thanks for reading! And for such an interesting question. I swear this was going to be short, but then I wrote an essay, lol. I hope you don’t mind this being public!]

The thing about Damon is that he can be is very immature, but he has progressed quite a bit from the ‘kill because someone hurt my feelings’ attitude that he had previously. Which I like, because that version of Damon, while entertaining from a dramatic standpoint, was not reaching his full potential as a character. He was like a B-villain of will I/won’t I, which gets boring and repetitive after a while. The person he is now has come a long way from that…

With Bonnie, if they were to get together and break up/fight, I don’t think he’d regress like that. I think he’d get sulky and drink too much and try to rile her up to show her there was still passion between them and they could be good together. Fighting is kind of their foreplay, lol. But killing people and going off the deep end was unhealthy, both for him and those who enabled him (and especially unfortunate for the humans he killed). I think, as much as he can be immature, his relationship with Bonnie is too healthy for him to react that way. He acts differently with and toward her. And I would hope that, instead of regressing into killing patterns and turning into the dick who cares too little, he would put more of his attention on what he could do to fix it…

Keep reading

Damon And Elena: Letting Go Was Never Part Of The Plan

Elena: “And I want to thank you for giving me everything I always wanted. A love that consumed me. And passion. Adventure. There’s nothing more I could ever want other than for it to last forever. But it can’t.” 6x01

‘I’ll Remember’ is pure salvation from start to finish. 

In fact, by the look of things, that’s what the entire season will be. 

Because the writers are tearing down long-held misconceptions about Damon and Elena’s relationship left and right. They are refuting every argument anyone has ever had against the very real true love story of this show.

Which was exactly the purpose of Damon’s death. To confirm the endgame, to prove he is the most necessary component of this supernatural group dynamic, to provide him and everyone around him the happy ending they deserve.

To kill the triangle. And I don’t think it needs to be stated that’s been more than accomplished. 

Because this whole fucking episode was about Damon and Elena. And he wasn’t even really there. 

Because the loss of him is more poignant and overwhelming than anyone else’s presence ever could be. 

Especially for Elena. 

Considering how fervently I wished for this story line, I was worried after the season five finale that a time jump would detract from the impact of the loss of Damon and Bonnie. I wanted to see the immediate aftermath rather than how things had changed months later.

Silly me. I had nothing to fear. 

This was such a better approach. 

Picking up right where the finale left off would not have driven home how detrimental this loss really is for the remaining characters. It is much more effective for us to see how difficult the deaths of Damon and Bonnie still are for these people months after the fact.

As I said before Damon ever died, this is not a loss any of these characters was prepared to live with. It has broken them all, individually and as a group. Not only are they spiraling on their own, they have been pushed apart both physically and emotionally by Damon and Bonnie’s absence. 

Particularly Damon’s. Not to downplay how terrible losing Bonnie is, but it is the loss of Damon that has truly crippled them all. 

Because losing Damon has shattered Stefan and Elena. The two who have always tried so hard to stay upright when the world was closing in on them. The two who were everyone else’s shoulders to lean on, even when they were the ones suffering. 

And now they’ve been destroyed by the death of the one person they never expected to lose. The one person who kept them all together, who was always there, who always came through, who rescued them and supported them through endless storms of agony. 

Losing Damon has caused damage to Stefan and Elena that they will never recover from, no matter how long they live. 

Which was the whole point here. The focus of the episode was everyone’s coping mechanism for the death of their friends, their brother, their boyfriend or girlfriend. 

And we know beyond a shadow of a doubt who is taking it the hardest: Elena. 

Let’s not sugar coat this. Elena Gilbert’s life is a tragedy. A never-ending barrage of pain, loss, torture and death. She’s lost everyone that matters to her at least once. 

Yet through all that persistent suffering, she’s still managed to prevail. Because she’s a survivor by nature. Even at her most downtrodden, even when she was chasing death and giving new meaning to the term martyr, she still picked herself up and proceeded to carry on.

Some of that is due to her strength. Of which she has boatloads. She’s one of the strongest, most capable souls in existence. 

But some of that is also due to Damon. Because he’s a survivor too. Because he bears the same type of strength within him that she does. He’s been her only consistent source of support and protection and comfort since she was seventeen. 

He was the only one who was always there. The only one who never left when everyone else did.

He saved her even when she didn’t want to be saved. He sacrificed for her without her ever asking him too. He fought for her, her friends, her safety, her happiness, and most importantly, her life. 

He put her first, no matter who would be left behind in the process. He gave her love like she’s never known and only dreamed of before they met. 

He made her his priority, the singular focus of his rarer than rare all consuming love and devotion, and he maintained that loyalty faithfully until the moment he died. A death, ironically, that was a choice he made, a death that resulted from the soul Elena returned to him when she called on his humanity three years ago. 

Because he drove into that explosion to save his little brother and his two best friends from the Other Side. And he was stuck on the Other Side because he stayed back at the Grille a moment too long to save Liz. 

All decisions he made because of the hero he became. A hero he would never have become without Elena’s influence, without the light and purpose loving her, and being loved by her in return, brought to his life.

She changed him for the better. She challenged him to reclaim his humanity and he rose to the occasion. For her. 

And that cost him his life. 

Like I said, we’re not sugar coating this. Her life is a tragedy. In many ways so is their love.

She pushed him to become the person she believed he could be, and he did. But that person made choices that took him away from her. Not because he would ever, ever want to leave her, or choose too. Because she made him want to live up to her heroic expectations. 

And now she’s being forced to live without him. Something she never expected, a loss she never anticipated. A life she didn’t plan for. 

Because living forever without him wasn’t even in the realm of possibility for her. She didn’t intend it. She wasn’t prepared for it.

So his death has completely ruined her. Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. She’s been wrecked at every level by Damon’s unprecedented absence.

Which makes her method of coping significantly different than any she’s employed in the past.

“She doesn’t wanna let go. I get it. I don’t wanna let go either. I don’t wanna think that everything has changed, that I have to start over. That the worst thing that could possibly happen actually did. But I don’t have too. Anyway that was my day. How was yours?”

“Can we go back to the part where Ric came back to life to be a college professor?” 

I’ve watched this episode in its entirety four times now. And unlike episodes from previous seasons, it isn’t because of how much I enjoyed it (although I most definitely did). 

It’s because of how difficult it is for me to wrap my mind around the idea that Damon is gone. The entire tone of this episode deviated from the tone of any other episode of TVD that has ever aired. I could feel how something was missing, and it wasn’t until my second re-watch that I realized what it was.

Damon. Damon is gone. Really gone.

Hallucinations or not, he wasn’t IN the episode (minus that final scene with those adorable vamp pancakes and the sexy red plaid shirt). He wasn’t interacting with any of the other living characters. He wasn’t making snarky comments and waggling his eyebrows and drinking a glass of bourbon.

He’s dead. And you can tell. You can feel his absence. As poignantly as you felt Elena’s when Katherine had possession of her body.

And if we as spectators can pick up on how off the dynamic is without Damon, imagine how Elena must feel. 

I mean really. Think about it. 

Imagine waking up everyday knowing he’s gone, that seeing him or speaking to him again is an impossibility. That he was swept away into oblivion and there’s no way to get him back.

Hurts doesn’t it? Now imagine being in love with him. So in love with him that you’d oriented your entire immortal life and future around him. You stayed a vampire to be with him because one average human lifespan wasn’t enough. You worked through the toxicity of your relationship with him to secure that eternal life. 

And then he died. Worse than that, you died with him to be with him, in life or death, on any side of the veil, so long as you were together.

Except you came back to life. And he got stuck on the Other Side and disappeared along with your best friend.

And people are actually wondering why Elena would resort to magical hallucinogens to see him, even if it’s just a creation of her subconscious. A conjuration of Damon formed from her experiences and memories of him.

Are you fucking serious. 

This isn’t some typical loss. Damon wasn’t a friend or a family member. He wasn’t her parent, her brother, one of her oldest friends from childhood. He wasn’t even just a boyfriend.

He was everything. He was her entire future, the person she had planned to be with FOREVER. 

She gave up the cure to be with him. She intentionally broke up with him to allow them both the time to work through the kinks of their relationship so it would last. Even when it looked like being human again was a possibility, she asked him to spend that human life with her. To grow old with her. 

And when hellfire rained down and he put himself on the line to save his little brother, she got in the car with him and drove into an explosion to be with him in death if it came to that.

But somehow she’s just expected to get over this, to grieve in some conventional and healthy way, to move on with her life like she didn’t just lose everything?

Her whole future was just stolen from her. The purpose of her immortal existence is GONE. 

Do you understand? She’s going to live potentially forever in love with a man she believes she will never see again. A man who gave her the life and love she always yearned for. A man who is now beyond her reach. 

Of course she accepted the witch drugs when Luke offered them to her. Of course she got addicted to them and let them drive her to the brink of insanity. 

The love of her life is no longer a part of her life and never can be again. And she can’t just forget how she feels about him (more on that later). 

She also can’t let it in. Can’t open her mind or her heart to the idea that she’s never going to be with the man she loves and lives for ever again. 

So she improvised. Because grieving was too hard. Because if she’d tried to move through the five stages of grief and accept his death it would’ve killed her. That kind of pain is not something she can live with. And why would she want too. Why should she have too.

Damon certainly wouldn’t want her too. 

And that is why, despite the waves of despair that are crippling Elena and her friends (and us by association), Damon’s death was so important. The most relevant seismic shift in the history of the series. 

Because what sane individual is going to dare question the endgame after this. 

Elena has lost it. She’s embraced her denial to the point of self devastation. She’s so terrified to even contemplate living in a world without Damon that she actually runs in the opposite direction, creating a magical substitute to sate the emptiness inside her.

After all she is empty. Directionless. Frightened.

Alone.

The man she’d oriented her immortality around has been ripped from her side. And she doesn’t possess the emotional or mental stability to survive it.

Damon and Elena couldn’t be more endgame if Julie and Caroline hung up a sign proclaiming it in the background of every scene. 

And not only are they using Elena’s pain and Damon’s absence to drown Stelena at the bottom of the ocean forever and plant Delena’s flag on the throne of Mount Olympus, they are also torching any and all claims against them and their endgame. 

For those who have persistently refused to see the light, 6x01 was merely a continuation of what 5x22 started. It was one brilliantly crafted wake up call rolled into forty two minutes of unbearable sadness. 

There are three particular arguments against Damon and Elena’s relationship that have always stood out. 

This episode cast them into obscurity. 

“Anyway that was my day. How was yours?”

“Can we go back to the part where Ric came back to life to be a college professor?” 

Damon and Elena’s relationship is about sex.

Is it really? Did this scene strike you as something two people who are only in it for the sex would ever do? Does this exchange, or any of the hallucinatory interactions, come across as anything other than the product of indescribable eternal love? 

Only about sex my ass. If anything Stelena was more about sex than Delena ever was or would be.

Damon is dead. Gone. And these magical drugs she’s taking allow her to conjure a solid, physical manifestation of him. She can not only see and hear him, but touch him as well.

And what is she choosing to do with this tangible figment of her lost boyfriend?

She’s sitting in the cemetery with him in broad daylight, telling him about every insignificant detail of her day and her life. And cuddling up to him. Nuzzling into his neck, feeling the strength of his arms around her and the feel of him with her. Even though he isn’t.

Because she loves him, misses him, needs him so much that she just wants to BE with him. Sitting in the same space, listening to him talk and watching him smirk and letting him make sarcastic comments and poke fun at her. 

All about sex? Please. This is the purest kind of love imaginable. A love that runs so deep, Elena only had to be in his presence and she was content, wearing a smile so peaceful it actually causes me physical pain that it wasn’t the real Damon who was holding her.

Sex wasn’t even a factor. Because they have ALWAYS been about more than that. They have the most solid, unbreakable foundation supporting them that I’ve ever witnessed. Their love was built on moments exactly like this. On casual conversation and silent understanding, soft touches and gentle smiles. 

Their love was built on the beginnings of love. On trust and reliance and loyalty. On respect. On small, seemingly irrelevant details like him handing her a rose or her coming to check on him when his friend died, glass of bourbon at the ready. 

Their love was built on friendship and open, honest discourse. On witty banter and laughter in the midst of crisis. On stubborn support and comfort in times of danger and anguish.

Sex is so far down the list in comparison to what fostered their love it’s almost ridiculous. It was simply the culmination of all these beautiful, painful, intimate pieces that drew them together as they continuously fought to stay apart. 

Stefan and Elena jumped into bed after ten damn episodes. Damon and Elena let the tension burn between them for three and a half seasons. 

Which is why losing Stefan was never going to be as visceral for Elena as losing Damon is. Because Delena’s connection was forged over time, through trial and error, through fights and tension, mistakes and forgiveness. Through contact and communication and attention. 

After all, it’s the people who are there, day in and day out, sticking by you through the thick and thin, the best and worst of everything that wreak the most havoc on you when they leave.

Because you never expected them too. You grew accustomed to their presence, to the comfort that came from the knowledge that if you called, they would be there. If you found yourself in peril, they would risk everything to save you. If you simply wanted to talk, they would listen.

That was Damon for Elena. That has been his role in her life from the moment they met on that road when she was sixteen. 

She needed to bounce her frustrations over her relationship with Matt off someone. Anyone who would listen and tell her the truth, holding nothing back. It doesn’t matter that it was a small, insignificant issue in comparison to those she would face down the road. It doesn’t matter that the conversation lasted little more than a minute.

That very first encounter is exactly why Elena needs Damon in her life. Why losing him is so utterly unacceptable and horrific for her.

He’s solid ground for her. Strength in her weakness, safety in her danger, comfort in her anguish. 

Always in her uncertainty. Promise in her impossibility. 

And he can’t be any of these things for her anymore because he isn’t there. So she created a magical facsimile of him straight from her own head, because seeing any version of him on a daily basis was better than trying to survive even a moment accepting he was really gone forever. 

That’s love. That’s the most raw, brutal, nearly unbearable type of love that could ever exist. A love so incredible and necessary, the very idea of living without him would destroy her from the inside out if she even entertained it. 

So she didn’t.  

“I tried to grieve him Caroline! Trust me, I know grief. I’ve got grieving down to a science at this point, and I tried. But every time I let it sink in that I’m never gonna see him again… I feel like I’m gonna die.”

“No I’m not done yet. And I want to thank you for giving me everything I always wanted. A love that consumed me. And passion. Adventure. There’s nothing more I could ever want other than for it last forever. But it can’t.”

Elena doesn’t love Damon as much as he loves her.

I believe this is pretty self explanatory. 

What was that about how Elena isn’t as invested in her relationship with Damon as he was? Still think he loves her way more than she could ever love him?

Think again. 

She absolutely loves him as much as he loves her. She is absolutely as committed to them and their future as he was. From the moment she broke up with Stefan and decided to indulge her overwhelming feelings for Damon, that was it. She was, as she said and confirmed in the season five finale, all in.

She gave into what had been brewing between her and Damon for years and never looked back. 

She didn’t rekindle a single romantic spark with Stefan. In fact, she let it burn out completely. 

As soon as she realized she was in love with Damon, every ounce of her devotion and attention and energy went into it. When she looked into the future, she saw him. When something threatened to tear them apart, she stood against it instead of letting it come between them. When even he gave up on them, she fought to preserve what they had.

Elena has been in this with him every step of the way since 4x07. And you’re not paying attention if you ever thought otherwise.

But for the naysayers, the writers used Damon’s death to their advantage, to prove what some of us already knew: Elena loves Damon AS MUCH as he loves her. With the same passion and intensity and commitment. At the same level of all-consuming madness and chaos.

They love each other equally, in a way no one else ever could.  

And we are finally being granted an opportunity to see how deep this goes for Elena. 

Until now, a large amount of the focus has been on Damon. How he fell in love with her, pined for her, waited for her, stood by her, and never wavered. His love has been running the show for so long and with such force, it has overshadowed everyone else’s feelings. Including Elena’s.

Which is why this episode is so jarring for the ignorant. They didn’t take notice of the little moments from the previous five seasons that show how Elena’s feelings for Damon are just as strong as his for her. Because his have always eclipsed everything else.

But he’s not around right now. His feelings are not the point here for the moment. Hers are. She is the one whose suffering, who just lost the love of her immortal life. Her love is the epicenter of everything now.

For those of us who’ve known all along that Elena loves Damon this much, none of her behavior following his death is shocking. We expected her to spiral. Anticipated it even. 

Because any other reaction just wouldn’t make any sense. This isn’t just any loss.

This is Damon. The man who lived and breathed for her, who waited 150 years to be with her and has openly admitted he would suffer through his entire life over again if it ended with him meeting her. 

No one prioritizes Elena like Damon does. No one could ever love her the way he does.

And now we know - now we have indisputable proof - that the same can be said in reverse.

No one could ever, ever, EVER love Damon the way Elena does. No one ever will. 

Which shouldn’t come as any surprise. Because just as they mirror each other in their every aspect, no matter how small, their love is no exception. The same way they’ve paralleled each other in behavior and personal journey, silently calling upon the commonalities of their shared soul, their love for one another is of the same all too rare caliber of intimacy and intensity. 

Their love is complementary, unable to exist without exact reciprocation.

It could’ve taken Elena any length of time to grow to feel the same way, but she would have. Nothing could’ve hindered that. She was always going to fall in love with him. 

Spending eternity together was just part of the deal. It was the expectation when the love was this powerful and life-affirming. 

If only eternity hadn’t been taken from them. 

“You know I wanna see you Damon. But it makes me reckless, I hurt people.”

Being with Damon has robbed Elena of her trademark compassion. 

Of any argument I’ve ever heard against Delena this is easily the most absurd and infuriating of them all. How blind must you be to actually believe that Elena is a completely different person, void of her notorious compassionate nature, just because she’s in love with Damon?

How do you not see that loving Damon has only enhanced that compassion far beyond anything she was capable of producing as a human.

Lack of compassion isn’t the issue. That isn’t the change people have seen in Elena since she transitioned.

It’s her survival instinct. Her desire to live. THAT is what has changed. That is how Damon has altered her so completely and beautifully.

He gave her back her will to live. Not just to survive, but to thrive. To seek out new opportunities and happiness in death. To embrace the possibilities that come with vampirism even though it wasn’t something she wanted.

He’s changed her for the better, giving her something Stefan was never able too: a life. The deep-seated need to fight for her right to live and love rather than be used and abused for the selfish whims of others.

It isn’t compassion she is lacking. It’s naivety. Submission. 

She’s not only grown up, she’s grown into a person who recognizes that her life is worth living. Worth fighting for. Especially when she found something worth living for. 

And she did. She found a purpose in her death, a reason to live.

Damon. 

Yet here she is, telling hallucination Damon that she can’t continue to see him because it makes her dangerous and impulsive, threatens the safety of everyone around her. 

This has been her only coping mechanism for months, the only thing that has kept her from completely suffocating in her grief, and she’s selflessly choosing to give it up for the sake of other people. Strangers. 

Elena has lost her compassion? Shut the fuck up. 

She’s as compassionate and selfless as she ever was. She’s opening the door to a meaningless eternity without even the imaginary crutch of the man she loves and lost to spare other people her reckless insanity. 

If she ever had the right to be selfish and indulge in her own darker impulses it would be now. And she’s choosing not too. She’s trying to shake her denial because she wants to protect everyone else. 

Even though not living in denial has the potential to kill her, to drive her back to that place of despondency that Damon took her out of. 

But he isn’t there now. So what does she have to live for this time?

“Oh my god, is this what you’ve been doing this whole time? Hallucinating your dead boyfriend?”

“I tried to grieve him Caroline! Trust me, I know grief. I’ve got grieving down to a science at this point, and I tried. But every time I let it sink in that I’m never gonna see him again… I feel like I’m gonna die.”

Does this sound like a woman whose just going to trudge through her grief, come to terms with her pain and move on with her life?

Hell no. 

She will never move on. Not of her own volition. She can’t. 

“I feel like I’m gonna die.”

When has she ever said this before following the loss of someone she loves? The worst loss she’d experienced before Damon was Jeremy. A loss that drove her to her knees in agony, that all but forced her to flip her switch, that pushed her to burn her house - and the last physical reminder of her human life - to the ground. 

No one really understands how symbolic that was. How it transitioned her permanently from childhood to adulthood. How she let go of the desire for the cure, of the desire for a human life, when she set her house on fire.

And she didn’t look back either. Even when she did turn her emotions back on, she didn’t lament the loss of her childhood home. Nor did she bemoan the loss of her second chance at being human again. 

Because she discovered something she deemed better. More worthy of her effort and energy. 

Damon. Loving him. Being with him. Forever.

That is what allowed Elena to accept her vampirism and everything that comes with it. To finally acknowledge the beautiful things that can come from living a heightened immortal existence.

Eternal love. The same reason Damon wanted to transition in 1864. To be with the one he loves forever and always.

It’s yet another reason Damon and Elena were always going to end up here, as vampires fighting against every obstacle to spend their eternity together. Because their love is so powerful and all encompassing and glorious it cannot be relegated to a mere fifty or sixty years of fulfillment.

They HAVE to be together forever. It’s the only option their love to conquer all other loves will accept. 

It’s what Elena predicated her happiness on as a vampire. It’s what convinced her to stop hunting down her own death and start living and embracing her life, even if that life wasn’t what she’d originally intended for herself.

That’s what makes Damon and Elena’s love so wonderful. It is mired in unpredictability, in the promise of the unexpected courtesy of the one you love. The one who snuck up on you, who wormed their way deep into your heart and soul when you weren’t looking.

It’s the simplest explanation of how they fell for each other. How they came to love each other so passionately it turned into the only absolute either of them had for their own future.

Because they’d spent so long assuming their lives were to be oriented around Stefan and Katherine, only to discover those relationships and those feelings were little more than stepping stones for them along their road to each other. 

And now that they’ve finally found what they’ve craved all their lives, they’ve been unjustly torn from each other, forced to contemplate the very real possibility of spending eternity apart.

Do you really blame her for living in denial. 

“But every time I let it sink in that I’m never gonna see him again… I feel like I’m gonna die.”

This is the loss that has broken her. A loss she can’t recover from. 

Because unlike her grief of the past, Damon isn’t there this time to catch her as she falls. 

This time it’s him she’s falling to pieces over. And there isn’t a living soul who can put her back together. No matter how long she lives, she will never be whole again. There will always, always be something missing. Not just in her heart or her life, but her soul.

Since it’s very obvious Damon took a chunk of it with him when he died. You can see it in her eyes.

She’s incomplete. Damaged beyond repair.

And people just expect her to get over it. To pretend part of her isn’t gone forever, buried below ground with her dead boyfriend. 

Heartbreaking and unfair as it is, the twisted tragedy of it all is just magnificent. The most worthy type of angst and pain. 

This isn’t just love my friends. It’s goes far beyond that. 

They love with a love that is more than love. 

“You can’t be here. You’re not even real. This is just my subconscious making me see what I want to see.”

“One call from my brother and you wanna throw all this away?”

“You know I wanna see you Damon. But it makes me reckless, I hurt people.”

“So why am I here? Do you wanna move on? Move on.”

“I never got to say thank you.”

“For what?”

“For saving Stefan, and bringing back Alaric and Tyler. Thank you.”

“Elena-“

“No I’m not done yet. I want to thank you for giving me everything I always wanted. A love that consumed me. And passion. Adventure. There’s nothing more I could ever want other than for it to last forever. But it can’t. This is the last time I’m gonna see you. This is goodbye Damon. I love you. I have to let you go.”

“You’re still holding on.”

“No I said goodbye Damon.”

“I don’t blame you. You know what’s waiting for you. How long before you go running back to Luke?”

“No I told you that was the last time Damon. I’m done.”

“An eternity of torment, agony, grief, and you’ll feel it all.”

“Stop it Damon, stop it, stop it, you’re getting in my head. Don’t do this, please.”

“And you’ll feel it forever.”

“No!”

This is the scene that really got me. 

In much the same way as their final scene together in 5x22, this particular interaction is everything that is so viciously, undeniably beautiful about Delena. 

There are volumes of relevance to draw from this. Not merely symbolic, it is unequivocal proof that nothing that has happened between Damon and Elena in the three years they’ve known each other was ever one sided.

As soul-shattering and life-changing as every exchange between them was for Damon, it had exactly the same effect on Elena.

Because she wouldn’t be suffering like this if it hadn’t. She wouldn’t be emulating Damon (in yet another example of their unbreakable bond as twin flames) if she didn’t FEEL for him and their relationship the same as he does.

We’ve known for seasons now that Elena is Damon’s life, the light in his darkness, the fire that mirrors his own.

But the same can be said for Elena. It could always be said for her. 

Damon is her life, the light in her darkness, the fire that mirrors her own. 

And he’s gone. That means her future is gone. Her world is gone.

Her life is gone. 

Yet she’s attempting to let him go anyway. 

Just not without saying goodbye. 

“I never got to say thank you.”

“For what?”

“For saving Stefan, and bringing back Alaric and Tyler. Thank you.”

“Elena-“

“No I’m not done yet. I want to thank you for giving me everything I always wanted. A love that consumed me. And passion. Adventure. There’s nothing more I could ever want other than for it to last forever. But it can’t. This is the last time I’m gonna see you. This is goodbye Damon. I love you. I have to let you go.”

I could pen a novel about this alone. 

I mean holy shit. This is a Damon-level love confession right here.

And much like three of the best romantic speeches he ever gave to Elena, the real Damon didn’t even hear it. 

Tragic. Enraging.

Necessary.

Because it’s not about whether the intended recipient hears it. It was never about that, from the first lost confession in 1x22 to Damon’s goodbye in the season five finale to this. It’s not about Damon or Elena hearing it. 

It’s about them saying it. It’s about the fact that they felt the need to say such sweet, wonderful things to each other knowing the other person couldn’t hear them. 

Damon knew Elena couldn’t hear his goodbye. But he had to say it anyway. For himself. To voice his love for her to the universe, to put even an ounce of his feelings for her, of his appreciation for her, into words. 

This is no different. Elena knows the real Damon can’t hear this. But she had to say it anyway. For herself. To voice her deep, unshakeable love and gratitude and respect for him to the universe. 

And that’s exactly what this is. It’s not just a thank you. Or a goodbye.

It’s an expression of genuine respect and admiration and grace for this man who turned her life upside down in the best possible way. Who gave her everything she’d ever wanted for herself, who brought back everyone she loved. 

Except himself. 

“I never got to say thank you.”

“For what?”

“For saving Stefan, and bringing back Alaric and Tyler. Thank you.”

Damon’s a fucking hero. And she knows it. 

The pride in her voice and her eyes is unmistakable. She couldn’t be more impressed that he lived up to everything she believed he could be. That he became that better man she always knew was lurking below the surface.

No one ever acknowledges how GOOD Damon is. Elena is the only one. 

“No I’m not done yet. I want to thank you for giving me everything I always wanted. A love that consumed me. And passion. Adventure. There’s nothing more I could ever want other than for it to last forever. But it can’t. This is the last time I’m gonna see you. This is goodbye Damon. I love you. I have to let you go.”

Let’s just pretend she didn’t make a blatant reference to their legendary first meeting. Because it’s almost too painful to think about. 

I mean she just gets it. After all of their bumps and rough patches, their every obstacle, she understands. Truly understands exactly what he did for her and what he brought to her life.

And she’s damn grateful for it. For him. For the way he loved her and sacrificed for her and gave to her without asking anything in return.

She knows it was unique to them, the kind of gift you only receive, if you’re very lucky, one time. 

He was EVERYTHING she wanted. Everything. 

Not some things. Not a few things. Not even most things.

Everything. 

And now he’s gone. So she has nothing. 

“You’re still holding on.”

“No I said goodbye Damon.”

“I don’t blame you. You know what’s waiting for you. How long before you go running back to Luke?”

“No I told you that was the last time Damon. I’m done.”

“An eternity of torment, agony, grief, and you’ll feel it all.”

“Stop it Damon, stop it, stop it, you’re getting in my head. Don’t do this, please.”

“And you’ll feel it forever.”

“No!”

For the love of all things holy, I demand Elena Gilbert be granted an eternal reprieve from pain when Damon returns. 

Because this is just cruel. 

How much misery is this girl expected to endure before she simply disintegrates into nothing? Or implodes from the onslaught? 

She deserves to be happy. She was happy. Until her happiness was taken from her.

Now all she has to cling to is the shadow of her lost forever, a hallucination of her dead boyfriend who places his hand on her shoulder in solace as she breaks down from just the notion of letting it all in. 

Think about what really happened here.

She tried to let go. She gave it her best effort, said goodbye, kissed him, the whole shebang.

And when she opened her eyes he was still standing there. 

Because it’s not that easy. Nothing between them ever has been.

Her love for him isn’t a switch she can just turn off. Her grief over his death isn’t a door she can just open without consequences.

It’s a part of her. A part she can’t hide away in some corner of her heart.

Hallucination Damon said it. She knew what was waiting for her if she really accepted that he was gone forever. She knew there was nothing but despair and torment in her future. 

And she was terrified to let that in. Because once she did there was no escaping it ever again. It wasn’t a door she could close once it was open.

Her own survival instinct wouldn’t let her let it in. The physical anguish would be too much for her. She’d never live through it without flipping her switch or taking off her daylight ring on a sunny day.

It’s an extreme only Damon’s death could push her too. 

She’s not exaggerating or overreacting. She can’t do this without him. She can’t BE without him. She needs him. 

Being a vampire, an immortal, even simply being Elena isn’t worth a damn without him. He is the missing piece of her.

And her soul will cry out for the rest of eternity, searching for its lost half. Nothing she could ever do and no one she could ever meet will fill the void left in Damon’s wake. She will forever be incomplete, a shell of herself.

Subconsciously, she recognizes that. And when confronted by it she finally shatters completely, tearing apart the crypt and sliding down the wall in the same desolation as she did months earlier, when Damon was telling her goodbye. 

Which is when I shattered a little myself. 

Because watching her cling to his hand and cry so hard she could barely breathe hit me in all the worst places.

It’s so unbelievably rare to love like this. To be granted the privilege of putting all of yourself into your bond with another person. To share so much with them that the lines start to blur between the two of you.

Not one without the other. 

And she isn’t. He took the best parts of her with him. 

The only thing that remains of her is her memories, and the pain that comes with them.

“Honestly Elena. I hate everything about being a vampire.”

“Me too. At least, you know, I did. Then one day I discovered the good part. You know the promise that love could be eternal? And I had that with Damon. Which means for the rest of eternity, I’m going to have a hole in my heart where he’s supposed to be.”

“Trust me it gets easier.”

“I know how death works Ric. Trust me I have done it. A lot. There’s no such thing as moving on. It’s a lie. So if I’m ever gonna be able to fall in love again and make eternity bearable I need you to do something.”

“What?”

“You were created by the original vampire spell which means you can compel other vampires. And since I can’t take away my vampirism, I want you to take away Damon. I want you to compel me to forget that I ever loved him.”

I’m certain I haven’t screamed this loud since Katherine took over Elena’s body.

I saw this coming, but I didn’t expect it so soon. It caught me off guard.

And I am ECSTATIC.

It’s the cherry on top of a world-class story line. 

“Me too. At least, you know, I did. Then one day I discovered the good part. You know the promise that love could be eternal? And I had that with Damon. Which means for the rest of eternity, I’m going to have a hole in my heart where he’s supposed to be.”

I can barely process that last sentence. 

This goes so far beyond love I can barely wrap my head around it. 

He’s so much a part of her that she can FEEL the loss of him. In her heart and soul. She is entirely in tune with the barren space inside her where Damon once resided. 

No wonder she can’t live without him. He LITERALLY took some of her with him to the great beyond. Not just mentally or emotionally, but physically. 

She isn’t Elena without Damon. Not anymore. 

Which is why I advocate this story line.

“You were created by the original vampire spell which means you can compel other vampires. And since I can’t take away my vampirism, I want you to take away Damon. I want you to compel me to forget that I ever loved him.”

This is so ingenious. Better than the drug use or feeding on random people, she is so incapable of even acknowledging life without Damon that she’d rather not remember him at all.

That’s how crippling this is for her. She can’t let it in. She also can’t continue to utilize the magical herbs and pretend Damon is still with her.

So she’s choosing to lock it all away. 

It’s horrible of course. We’d rather she not have to resort to something so serious and potentially irreversible.

But come on. How else is she expected to even survive long enough for Damon to return. 

She wouldn’t last that long. She has to pass the time (unknowingly) until he comes back without destroying herself. 

“And since I can’t take away my vampirism, I want you to take away Damon. I want you to compel me to forget that I ever loved him.”

The very idea of living without him is so beyond her comprehension she doesn’t even want to indulge it. She just wants to forget.

What she doesn’t know - what she couldn’t possibly know - is that trying to forget will be fraught with complications.

He’s IN her. In her heart, in her soul, in the hidden crevices of her brain. He’s imprinted on her permanently, and no amount of compulsion will ever erase that. 

Forgetting may ease some of her pain in the short term, but it won’t sate her soul. Deep down, she will always long for him. Memories or not, she can’t satisfy what she craves for herself and her life without Damon. She won’t find it with anyone else.

Ironically, she does know that, which is why she’s asking to be compelled. So long as she is in love with Damon, she will never move on. And she recognizes that.

She just doesn’t realize that not remembering him won’t stop her from loving him. Even if her brain doesn’t know, her heart can never forget.

She can never truly let go of him.

Because letting go was never part of the plan. 

Comparing Olicity, Delena & Stelena...oh boy...

Anon asked: A lot of people think Olicity and Delena are similar ships just because they are both popular among the fans, the actors have chemistry and they didn’t end up together or happened in the books or comics but i don’t think those couples are similar at all, actually i think that if we are just talking about the relationship they have with each other, Olicity is much more comparable to Stelena than Delena. What do you think about all of that?

Okay Delena fans. I’m coming out with my hands up. This response is in no way meant to insult your ship. Okay? Okay. I’m trying to tread lightly because I know many of my Olicity followers love Delena, but I very clearly state that this blog is devoted to StelenaSo if you are Delena fan, proceed with caution. I’m not trying to insult any of you or change your mind. You can love Olicity and you can love Delena. I just happen to only love one of them. lol. You have been warned.

Now that I got that off my chest, I can answer this Anon’s question…

Keep reading

TVD-6x22- Wake Me Up

Okay, so I’ve been putting this off for too long now. I can blame that I haven’t written this on the fact that I have been quite busy. And I guess, yeah, that’s partly true. But the real truth is the fact that this is probably going to be the last episode post I ever write. And the thought of that makes me slightly depressed. So, I have been putting it off so I could be able to tell myself “I still have to write my episode post.” which honestly is kind of silly. So, I’m here now. And I’m going to finish this episode post series that I started back when 4x08 aired. It’s kind of crazy how life works out. Look, guys, I have literally been unemployed since I graduated college back in December of 2013. And honestly, I was okay with that because I was literally consumed by Delena anyways. But let me tell you… only 8 days after the Season 6 finale aired, I got a job. And I think that’s a sign, you know? I think that its life helping me to move on from this show that has taken over my life the past 3 years. Forcing me to grow up a little and focus on other things. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Delena is very important to me. And they always will be. And what the writers did to Delena still hurts. But I don’t think its very good to dwell in the negative. Its not good for your health. So, I’m going to try and write this as a series send off. Sort of as a final goodbye to the show. Because like Nina Dobrev, Its time for me to turn the page and start the next chapter in my life. So, like Elena Gilbert, I’m going to say goodbye to everyone too. (Not you, the characters =P)    

“Promise me something, both of you. (She grabs her journal and hands it to them.) Write it all down, everything that you accomplish in your life, every crush, when you fall in love, when you start a family, every time you fantasize about wanting to kill Damon… Write it down, so that one day when I wake up, I can read all about my best friends’ lives and feel like I was there.” - Elena to Caroline and Bonnie 

This isn’t fair guys. This is fucked up to no end. Elena shouldn’t have to read about her best friends lives in a journal. She should have been able to there for them. The way she always has. But lets not be negative. This scene was so beautiful. This was the last moment the three of them will ever have all together. And Elena chose to have it in her childhood bedroom. Because the happiest moments they ever shared probably took place there. At a time before the supernatural took over their lives. When everything was okay and all their parents were still alive and well. Because I think that part of Elena’s evolution has a character was becoming to realize that grief cannot be overcome by trying to forget or ignoring the source of it. But rather by holding on to those precious memories and cherishing them and appreciating what time you did have with those loved ones you’ve lost. So, when Elena wakes up, rather than being depressed that she missed seeing her best friends’ lives unfold, she asked them to record everything for her, so she can live in those memories she missed out on. And with that I say goodbye to this beautiful crazy sisterhood they shared.

I’m so sorry, Elena. Really, I’m so sorry -Bonnie
“ This isn’t your fault. Hey. We’ll both get everything that we want. We just can’t have it at the same time. Aw, hey. Bonnie Bennett. You have spent your entire life making sacrifices for me. Now it’s my turn to do it for you. I just have one more favor to ask.” -Elena

Anyone who hates on Elena should question the kind of person they are. Not only does she acknowledge and appreciate all the sacrifice that Bonnie has made for her sake. But she also ungrudgingly gives up a lifetime for her. Even I, who loves Bonnie, and believes that she deserves the right to live like any other character, still holds a slight resentment towards her. Because if it wasn’t for her inability to give Kai a chance, ALL of this could have been avoided. And I get that it wasn’t really her fault but still. So that just tells you the type of person Elena Gilbert is. Which kind of makes this entire situation just suck even more. And with that I say goodbye to Bonnie Bonnet. It sucks that it’s come to this but may you die sooner rather than later. I’m not even sorry.

“You know, there’s a good chance that I’ll never see you again.” -Matt
“Matt. Look at everything that the two of us have survived…. I like our odds. -Elena

For some reason this gives me hope. Hope that Bonnie dies and at the very least relevantly young. So that Elena will be able so see everything else again. Matt, Jeremy, even Alaric. Because it would just suck even worst if these people just never see her again. And with that I say goodbye to Matt Donavan. Stay safe. Don’t be so resistant to the help from vampires. You have to outlive Bonnie so you will be able to see Elena again.

“You’re gonna think that the pain will never end, but it will. But first, you have to let it all in. You can’t fight it. It’s bigger than you. You have to let yourself drown in it. But then eventually you’ll start to swim, and every single breath that you fight for will make you stronger… And I promise that you will beat it.” - Elena to Alaric 

If anyone has lost has much if not more than Elena has, its Alaric. And I think what Elena tells him is dead on perfect. (no pun intended). Because pain and grief can very much be described as an ocean. And at first, you may be so tired and exhausted that you just want it to end. So, you let go and let it drown you. But our humanly instinct is to live. Is to fight. Is to keep moving forward. So, it surprises you  when you find that your head is above water again. But you accept it and keep going. And decide that fighting is the best way to beat the grief. Grief changes you. It can make or break you. And depending on the type of person you are… it will defined you. And I know some of you may think that what Elena said came from a place of experience. But it really isn’t. Elena dealt with her grief is a different way. What Elena said came from a place of how well she knows him. Alaric is a fighter. He is strong. Which is why Elena knows he can and will beat it. So, with that said, I bid farewell to Alaric Saltzman. 

“Hey…when you do wake up, I want you to know that I spent my life doing exactly what I felt I was born to do. I was happy.” -Jeremy

This is was lame. It hurts. But again it gives me this certain hope that this obviously isn’t the end for them. When Elena finally wakes… I think Jeremy will still be around. Because this couldn’t be the end for them. There wasn’t even a goodbye. That has to mean something right? I feel like this show is losing so much of what made it what it is. The sibling relationship between these two was just so important to me. And sadly, their relationship, hell, Jeremy’s character and storyline altogether was just dwindling in the background until it disappeared completely. But, I refuse to buy that they will never see each other again. That’s is just not happening. But for now… I’ll say goodbye to Jeremy Gilbert aka. Little Gilbert. 

“You need to get out of here, Tyler. You need to figure out what it is you want to do, who you want to be, and then just really fight for it. You’re gonna be fine, Tyler. You’re a wolf now, embrace it. Don’t fight it. Let it be that thing that makes you extraordinary.” -Elena to Tyler

I don’t really know what to say about this. I never really cared for Tyler’s character. He was always very confused. He never had his proprieties straight. I hope the sacrifice that Liv made for him wasn’t in vain. That he truly does embrace his wolf side and finds himself. And with that I say goodbye to Tyler Lockwood.

“Thank you for bumping into me that day in the hallway. I thought I would never be happy again, and then– and then I met you. You changed everything for me. You– you quite literally saved my life. I love you so much, which is why I can’t wait to find out what new life you– you’ve chosen for yourself in sixty or seventy years when I see you again.” -Elena to Stefan

I’d never thought I say this but… I actually liked this scene. The shipping world made me spend so much time resisting everything that is Stefan and Elena. But with the show basically ending, and Damon and Elena clearly having the upper hand. I can finally appreciate the friendship between these two. I can finally accept their past relationship for what is was. A stepping stone to greater things. And a necessary one at that. I have never been sentimental over a scene with these two. But when Elena thanked him for deliberately inserting himself into her life… It made me realize he did make her happy to a certain extent…and it was her relationship with him that made her realize things about herself and ultimately led her to Damon. And the same could be said about Stefan. Hell Stefan said it himself: 

”I don’t think Elena necessarily came into my life to be my soulmate. I mean, she was. We loved each other, but she was also the only person I’ve ever met who actually believed that my brother was worth loving, and she reminded me that I used to believe that about him, too. And her faith in him, it brought Damon and me back together. And yeah I–I loved her more than I could ever thought I could love somebody else. But I think, in the end, I needed him more then I needed her.”

This is something that I have also throught to be true. And I’m just so glad they actually made it canon. And I get that its leeway for season 7 but I think its where the writers have always been heading. So with that, I say goodbye to Stefan Salvatore. (God, that feels good to say.)

“Yesterday, you told me you made a list of all the ways that loving me has ruined your life, and I get it. I haven’t made it easy on you…But I made a list, too, of all the ways that loving you has changed mine. You were by my side when I needed a friend. You made me laugh. You made me dance. You told me that I would find love again… And, I understand if you need time to heal, and to live your life without me. And, I understand if I have to wait for you, and I will, I’ll wait. And when you’re ready for me, I will be ready for you.” - Stefan to Caroline

I don’t know how to organize this because the lines are so blurred between what Stefan is telling Caroline and what is actually being said about Damon and Elena. And I think they did a great job mixing it all together. But since I never really cared about Stefan and Caroline’s relationship… I’ll just bid them farewell right now and move on to the more important stuff. So, Goodbye Caroline Forbes.

“I believe you owe me a dance, Miss Gilbert…Dance with me, please.” - Damon

“Just dance with me. This was supposed to be our big night.” - Damon

“Now, how about that dance? - Elena”

It ended with a dance. The same way it started. On the road where they first met. That dance was a symbolic of their journey together. Their journey to each other. “I’m feeling symbolic.” The dance they shared was Damon and Elena experiencing that journey all over again. Remembering it. Dreaming it. Their minds connected. It was a whirlwind of a journey. With ups and downs. Dips and lifts. With tears and smiles. The further they got from each other, the closer they came. The longer the distance, the stronger the embrace. This dance isn’t the end of the road for them. It’s just another bump. This last kiss they shared in their minds, isn’t goodbye. It’s just another “I see you real soon.” They may be away from each other of a while. But their love for each other will remain. Infinite. Forever. Undying. Which I believe that Elena being in sleep spell rather then dead is at the very least symbolism in itself. She will wake. And he will be there. Like he always has been.

“And you will never know just how beautiful you are to me
                               But maybe I’m just in love when you wake me up.”


TVD has this habit of telling us rather than showing us that character A has experienced growth as a result of character B. I hate it, if you want me to believe a character has experience growth based on the influence of another character than SHOW ME.

However, credit where credit is due, the show has done this with Stefan and Caroline. I would argue out of all the characters on the show Stefan and Caroline have had the most growth and development from their S1 counterpoints, and this growth has come from a direct influence they’ve both had on each other.

Let’s start with Caroline, in S1 Caroline is kind of shallow, insecure, tries too hard, has low self-esteem but she still very loyal and cares about her friends. She grows a bit in S1 but I think the big change for her comes when she turns into a vampire.

 

Stefan takes Caroline under his little vampire wing and tries to show her how to be the vampire he could never be himself. In the essence of “those who can’t do, teach” he teaches her the self-control he never had himself, teaches her to be strong, shows her being a vampire doesn’t mean you have to become a monster.

And Caroline takes it all to heart and she becomes this “strong, confident person” and she’s not “girly little Caroline anymore, she can handle herself.” So different is the girl who fell into bed with the dangerous mystery guy in S1 to someone who’s “too smart to be seduced” by Klaus in S3.

She grows into herself and basically becomes the resident Mystic Falls Vampire MVP. And so comes one of my favorite scenes of this whole series but also the centerpiece of how Caroline is now going to help Stefan grow. First let’s look back on S1 Stefan though…

When we first meet Stefan he’s broody, sensitive, a little too serious and has serious issues with human blood. He can’t drink from blood bags and if he’s near human blood his thirst flares up. He gets a little better in S2 drinking a little of Elena’s blood to keep up his strength but that all kind of goes to shit when Klaus forces him to become the ripper. 

And even though Damon helps him a bit to come back from the edge, and he tells Klaus he’s accepted the ripper as part of him and he won’t let it control him it’s still an issue. So he confides in Caroline, he finally admits he needs help and he knows she’s the one who can actually help him because “she’s so good at it, being a vampire” but what she says takes him aback.

Caroline: Because of you, Stefan. I’m good at it because of you. Come to me whenever you want. I won’t let you lose control.

 

And he does, throughout S4 you see how this one moment changes everything for Stefan. He’s finally got that sober sponsor who grounds him, and in the process helps him to not be so serious all the time.

In 4x16 everything is a little crazy. He’s got nohumanity!Elena throwing a huge party in his house surrounded by “fresh meat.” Stefan in S1-S3 (besides when he was the Ripper) would have never been able to do what Stefan does here. He would have brooded in the corner while he made sure Elena didn’t feed on anyone. However he doesn’t because Caroline says she’s “giving him the green light” have fun, dance with one of these hot girls, she’s got his back.

 

And what does he do? He throws her over his shoulder and takes her out on to the dance floor, he completely lets lose. Stefan Salvatore doesn’t like to dance, he really only does it when he’s drunk or being forced to. But here not only does he dance he LAUGHS WHILE DOING IT, he ENJOYS IT and he’s not even drunk! Caroline just brings out this lightness to Stefan that I don’t think he’s ever genuinely experienced with anyone else.

 

This continues into S5 as well for Stefan. When he loses his memories and he’s “heavily spiraling into ripper oblivion” it’s her that brings him out of it. Because she says “you’re not this person, you’re better than this” and it works, he instinctively knows he can trust her.

Even more so though after that incident we never really see Stefan struggle with his bloodlust anymore. And sure it could be taken as poor plotting on the writers part but I truly believe it’s Caroline. I mean the second half of S5 Stefan is much more in Chill Hero Mode than any other season. He’s over the Elena drama, over feuding with his brother and he finally seems to be enjoying himself ESPECIALLY around Caroline. He’s just so genuinely happy around her “if Caroline Forbes were here right now we would both be laughing.”

 

That’s what Lexi was getting at when she asked Stefan why he stuck around Mystic Falls and that Caroline was the reason. Because even if he didn’t have romantic feelings for her he stayed for her, because she makes him happy like no one else ever has. And Caroline would do anything for Stefan and thinks the world of him because he’s the one who taught her to be strong.

*not my gifs

**I didn’t touch on S6 because that’s a whole post in itself

My fellow Bamonites, we’re a masochistic lot. *shrugs* There’s no point in denying it. Why else would we suffer this show?

We’ve been told our pairing will never work. We’ve been ridiculed for believing in a couple that has ‘too much chemistry’ (wtf does that even mean?). We’ve been thrown bones (not even scraps) and we take them and make from them what we can.

We’re dreamers. Sometimes we dream big; sometimes we dream small, only wanting a little, but we do dream. We reach and we reason and we analyse and then we reach again. We’re optimists. When one door closes, we open a window.

So now I put on my rose-tinted specs and I look at the last two seasons of TVD, S4-5, and I proclaim them as the two seasons where the creators have finally begun sowing the subtle seeds of Bamon (if we assume they subscribe to consistency and the long-con).

1. Damon stayed with Bonnie to make sure Shane wasn’t lying.

Bonnie: “I’m going to stay and try a locator spell.“

Shane: "Okay. I’ll stay here. I’ll make sure she’s safe.”

Damon: “I’ll stay here and make sure you’re not lying.”

So Damon didn’t even want to be on this island to begin with. He didn’t want Elena taking the cure. He thought it was all bunk, but he wouldn’t leave Bonnie’s side. He even told everyone to split up, sending Elena off with Stefan to find Jeremy. His priority wasn’t Elena or the cure; it’s whether Shane was using Bonnie and what for.

2. Vaughn used Damon as leverage because he assumed Bonnie cared about him.

Damon: “Wait a minute. You’re using me to get to Bonnie Bennett? Whoa, brother. You picked the wrong vampire.”

Vaughn: “We’ll see about that.”

Vaughn had other people to choose from, like Stefan or Elena, but after all his spying, he assumed Damon was the one Bonnie really cared about and vice versa. Even when Damon tried to convince him otherwise, Vaughn didn’t agree. Does he know something Damon and Bonnie don’t?

3. Damon stayed on the island to find Bonnie while Elena was at home losing her shit.

Damon: “I can't—I can’t just leave her behind, I can’t show up without Bonnie!”

Damon: “I could actually hug you right now.” (hugs Bonnie)

He couldn’t deal with the supposed love of his life, even though she was in pain, but he could stay on an island he never wanted to be on in the first place to find Bonnie.

It wasn’t like he couldn’t easily deal with Elena; she was still sired to him and would have done whatever he said. But his priority wasn’t Elena or her grief (denial) over her brother’s death. His priority was Bonnie, which makes me think there is more to do with him being the Bennett line’s protector than has yet been explored.

4. Damon checked up on Bonnie while in NYC with Elena.

Damon: “So Silas is appearing as Professor Shane. Wouldn’t be my first choice.”

Stefan: “Well, it would be if you needed to brainwash Bonnie into committing a massacre.”

Damon: “You need me to come home?”

The first thing he and Stefan talked about was Bonnie and he asked Stefan if he needed him to come back. Not him and Elena, but just Damon. He was supposed to be looking for Katherine and the cure and getting Elena to turn her humanity back on but all Damon cared about was if Bonnie was okay and was willing to drop everything to come back home and help his little witch.

5. Silas told Damon the witch was HIS, and that Damon’s mind is 'a very dark and riveting place’.

Silas: “The witch is mine. Stay away from her!”

So the moment Damon figured out Silas was posing as Stefan, his first thoughts went to Bonnie and how he had to protect her, or why else would have Silas made claims on her? And then when he met up with the real Stefan later and they swapped stories, Damon lied about what Silas read his mind for, which was apparently fixed on Bonnie. Interesting… Is Damon too afraid to admit his feelings for Bonnie or is he in total denial?

6. Did Shane, Vaughn, Silas and even Elena have it all wrong, or did they all know something that Damon and Bonnie hadn’t realised yet?

Shane: “We’ve established that you can’t kill me without sending Bonnie off the deep end.”

Damon: “There is one flaw in your logic. I don’t give a crap about Bonnie Bennett.”

Damon: “Have you been spying on me?”

Vaughn: “Aye, I have. You and Stefan, Elena, your witch, Bonnie. […] You’re my leverage, Damon; I use you to get your witch friend to open the passage to Silas’ crypt for me.”

Damon: “What a minute, you’re using me to get to Bonnie Bennett? Whoa, brother, ha! You picked the wrong vampire.”

Vaughn: “I guess we’ll see about that.”

All right. Let’s examine Shane and Vaughn first. They’ve both made it their mission in life to spy and collect information. Vaughn knew Damon’s weaknesses and Shane knew Bonnie’s; so had they both miscalculated here? I think not. This is a matter of Damon and Bonnie not yet realising how much they mean to each other.

Silas: “The witch is mine. Stay away from her!”

Damon: “Bonnie? Bonnie?”

Silas: “That sounds familiar. Maybe Damon will convince you.”

Now, if Shane and Vaughn weren’t proof enough, there’s Silas. He’s not just a psychic; he literally reads people’s thoughts (ie: a telepath). Whenever he read Damon’s mind, Bonnie popped up and Silas had to claim ownership on her, as if Damon already had. The same went for Bonnie; whenever Silas read her mind, Damon was there. Funny that.

Elena: “We lost Bonnie on the island. Damon stayed back to try and find her.”

Matt: “That’s funny. Doesn’t he hate her?”

Elena: “He doesn’t hate her. I think he actually kind of loves her. You’re mean to the people that you care about.”

Matt: “That’s some messed-up logic.”

Elena: “Damon logic.”

Okay, if you still don’t believe Vaughn, Shane and Silas are enough proof, what about the sired love of Damon’s life, Elena? Even she could see that Damon loves Bonnie; not likes Bonnie but actually kind of loves her. Those were strong words coming from her, especially at the time.

Damon logic sounds a lot like a schoolboy crush; a boy teasing and pulling on the hair of the girl he actually likes.

7. Damon was crushed by Jeremy’s revelation that Bonnie was dead.

Damon: “Okay. Where is she? Call her. Get her here.”

Jeremy: “That’s the problem. I can’t actually call her. No one can.”

Bonnie: “Please don’t do this, Jeremy.”

Jeremy: “I’ve been lying to everyone for months, and I can’t keep lying knowing that everyone’s waiting for her to swoop in and save the day.”

Damon: “I don’t speak crazy-person, Jer. You’re gonna have to translate that for me.”

Jeremy: “Think about it, Damon. I was dead. I wasn’t supposed to come back.”

Damon: “Yes, exactly. That’s the beauty of Bonnie magic, which is what we need right now.”

Jeremy: “You’re not hearing me. Magic finds a balance. I’m not supposed to be here.”

Damon: “No.”

Jeremy: “You can’t just bring somebody back from the dead. There is always a price to pay for it.”

Damon: “Don’t say it, Jeremy. Don’t you dare!”

Jeremy: “She didn’t show up to her dad’s funeral, Damon. Nobody has spoken to her all summer.”

Bonnie: “Please, Jeremy.”

Damon: “You say it, and everything in Elena’s life goes to crap, do you understand me? Everything changes.”

Bonnie: “Do not say it, Jeremy.”

Damon: “Don’t.

Jeremy: “Bonnie’s dead.”

Damon: “Damn it, Jeremy! You realise what you just did?! Why would you say that?!”

The look on his face. Anger and denial at first and then great sorrow. He was devastated.

I’ll admit that I expected him to get angrier cause that’s what he does. It’s his thing. But looking back on it, his reaction was even better than I could have imagined. He was sincerely crushed by her death, more so than Alaric’s. He was begging Jeremy not to say it because that would make it real, and he didn’t want it to be real. And was it just me, or did it look like Bonnie didn’t want Jeremy to crush Damon with this news?

Then Damon actually COMFORTED Jeremy and decided right then and there to bring Bonnie back. Later, everyone else mourned her but he didn’t because he was bringing her back no matter the cost.

And what I especially loved about these episode is that we were ONLY shown Damon’s reaction to Bonnie’s death. No one else’s. Not her friends, just Damon. Cause telling Damon made it real, made her death real and made his feelings for her real. He cares.

8. Silas was willing to help Damon get Bonnie back while dropping truth-bombs on him like they were going out of style.

Silas: (looks at Elena) “You are not going. Men only.”

Elena: “Are you serious?” (looks at Damon) He’s not serious.”

Damon: “No, he’s not serious.”

Silas: “Actually, I’m 100% serious. She’s a freaky carbon-copy of my one true love, Amara. You can understand why I don’t want to stare at her imposter face all day.”

Damon: “That makes no sense.”

Silas: “It would make complete sense if you were ever in love with somebody who looked exactly like her.”

BURN! But well-executed burns aside, the above quote brought up some interesting points. Was Damon truly in love with Katherine or even Elena for that matter? If he was so in love with Katherine, why did he immediately turn to Elena once Katherine rejected him? Because Elena had Katherine’s face but not her conniving attitude. Furthermore, he was never in love with either one of them to begin with, only obsessed. And it makes sense considering he’s an obsessive-compulsive person.

And then he became obsessed with bringing Bonnie back, so much so that he played sides; first going to Qetsiyah for help, breaking his brother’s neck a few times, and then to Silas. Wow. For someone who doesn’t give a crap about Bonnie Bennett, this guy worked double overtime. But it was all for Elena, of course. Yet he never lifted a finger to bring Jenna or Jeremy back. Just sayin’. ;)

9. Qetsiyah gave Damon an ultimatum: kill Silas or else she kills Elena.

Damon: “I can’t kill [Silas] yet. He has to do something for me first.”

Tessa: “Is that something more important than Elena?”

Damon HESITATED.

What was key here in this situation was that Bonnie was already dead. This wasn’t another example of choose Elena or Bonnie to live. This was let Bonnie remain dead (for now) or have Elena be killed horribly, and maybe Stefan too. And so he hesitated. Then he regretfully gave into Qetsiyah’s demand, but at the same time he wasn’t defeated. He was going to find another way to bring Bonnie back, and he did.

10. Damon fed Katherine to Silas without question, and all risk; for Bonnie.

Damon: “He needs the cure to become a witch.”

Katherine: “No! No. No. No, Damon. No, no, please! He needs all of my blood. It’ll kill me, Damon. Damon, please, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die, Damon. I don’t want to die. Please.”

Damon: “Goodbye, Katherine.”

He assumed this would kill Katherine but he went through with it anyway. The same girl he had obsessed over for 145 years he had so easily killed on the off-chance that Silas would keep his word and bring Bonnie back, if he even knew how. It was a gamble and one that Damon didn’t hesitate to take. Makes you wonder how easily he’d give up Elena…

And the funny thing is people saying he did this all for Elena, but it was all for Bonnie, and himself. The way he acted, like a man on a mission. He had never acted that way before, except with Elena. Yet he never tried to bring Jenna back or Jeremy, the brother Elena lost her shit over to begin with. He didn’t once consider it or even bother Bonnie to bring Jeremy back. Instead, Damon threatened Jeremy and had tried to kill him several times (and did once).

If everything Damon did was for Elena, he would have tried to bring Jeremy back instead of having Bonnie die for Jeremy. And it wasn’t like the latter was even his choice. You could tell that he was pissed that she had brought him back twice. Disgusted, really.

11. Damon hates the fact that Elena blames OTHERS for his actions and refuses to call him out on his bullshit, unlike Bonnie.

Damon: "So why are you still here? I’m bad, Elena, I am bad for you, so why wouldn’t you have run away from me as far as humanly possible? […] STOP DEFENDING ME!”

Damon: “Listen to us! This is toxic! We are in a toxic relationship, Elena! I just killed your friend and you find someone else to blame!”

Elena refuses to hold Damon accountable for his actions; instead she makes excuses and blames others. Damon, in order to grow as a character, needs someone who isn’t going to coddle him or feed his ego and man-pain.

He needs someone who is strong enough not to be absorbed by his own ego. He needs someone to call him out on his bullshit and not make excuses for him. He needs someone who will remain the same and influence him to become a better person. He needs someone to remind him that his choices are his own and that they affect everyone. He needs someone who can balance him.

12. Damon is the only one who remembers and cares that Jeremy cheated on Bonnie.

Elena: “Jeremy wouldn’t [cheat on] Bonnie.”

Damon: “Again, need I remind you that he once had an affair with a ghost? The only thing missing was a sappy love song and a pottery wheel.”

For a supposedly morally ambiguous former playboy, Damon cares way too much where Jeremy puts his lips when it concerns Bonnie. He isn’t forgiving shit. Yet he’s fine with the Caroline drama and even the triangle drama to an extent, but no one cheats on Bonnie. No one.

They’re all hypocrites in his eyes, except her. And I think he sees a lot of himself in Bonnie, like the lengths she’s willing to go to for love and her friends. Bonnie, however, keeps that balance between friends and lovers, unlike Elena.

Sometimes I think Damon looks at Bonnie and sees who he’d like to be or who he could have been (except not a sexy female witch but a dead sexy vampire with a dick). He respects and admires her. She goes the distance, makes the right choices, and everyone (but her) lives when she makes a choice. You can’t say that she hasn’t affected him over the years.

13. Damon is the ultimate cockblock when it comes to Bonnie and her beaux.

*inserts multiple images of Damon interrupting Bonnie with Jeremy or Jamie and looking utterly disgusted, angry and annoyed*

He cockblocks Jeremy at every given opportunity. And did you see the look of disgust on his face when he caught Bonnie making out with Jamie? I know that’s S3, but Bonnie doesn’t have a lot of men to choose from. ;/

So let’s recap:

a) Others are able to see the connection between Bonnie and Damon, even if they don’t realise it yet.

b) Bonnie and Damon instinctively gravitate towards each other, even though they can’t explain why and would deny that connection to the grave.

c) Both make choices. Bonnie’s often involve sacrificing herself for others while Damon’s involve sacrificing others for Elena, and now Bonnie.

d) Damon deeply cares for Bonnie, to the point where when the creators wanted the perfect reaction to her loss, they focussed on Damon. And the one who brought her back was him and only him. It’d be impossible for Bonnie not to recognise all of this and be grateful and maybe even a little touched.

e) Damon’s connection to Bonnie still needs to be explored, like Damon being the protector of the Bennett line and Bonnie herself.

f) Bamon is coming, whether the characters and the viewers are ready for it or not. ;)

In conclusion, the hints are there; if you’re looking for them; if you’re aware and attentive to details. *adjusts rose-coloured specs and disappears in a puff of butterflies*

It's drabble time!

Premise of the drabble: Caroline and Enzo take a trip to NOLA to retrieve Stefan’s nameless doppelganger and things don’t go exactly the way Caroline thought they would.

“Of all the places for this doppelganger to live, I cannot believe it’s here.” Caroline gritted out in disbelief out of all the places in the world.

“What’s the matter Goldilocks, not a fan of the French Quarter?” Enzo retorted back in confusion at why she was so adamant about coming to New Orleans. Caroline grumbled and started at her feet as they strolled through the city.

“It’s not so much the city I’m not a fan of but rather a certain person who lives here.” She answered back quickly as she glanced around in the hopes that they’d finish soon and she could go home.

Keep reading

Hey guys, I was just thinking about a thing. Maybe this has been discussed already and I just missed it in the whirlwind of feelings after the end of 5x22, but I’m having a lot of emotions now about the scene Bonnie and Damon had in the beginning of 5x22.

This relates back to some meta that has been posted previously (looking at you, rozhanitsa) about Bonnie and her need to have control/power in situations, especially over situations where she would need to bare her emotions and be vulnerable. Even from the beginning but especially since Sheila’s death, Bonnie has been this way. For the most part the narrative treats it as her being ****selfless**** and protecting Elena/Jeremy/whoever’s feelings, but honestly it has implications that are selfish too.

She doesn’t like to have her hurts and insecurities exposed. In fact, she hates it. She will lie and misdirect and just plain change the subject, rather than discuss her feelings.

Remember when Jeremy cheated on her with Anna in season 3? It seemed to me that she was just as insulted that he tried to then make her talk about it as she was about the cheating itself.

When Elena wanted to apologize for trying to kill her while she was humanity-less, then too, a quick subject change.

Let’s not even talk about her complete inability to display her grief over her own death at the beginning of season 5. And she made her own fucking funeral about everyone else’s pain.

There are lots of other examples of it, but I do have a point I’m trying to make here, so I’ll get to that instead, lol.

Bonnie never allowed anyone to see how she felt about her imminent demise once they learned that the Other Side was collapsing. Even when she was talking to Grams and later Liv about it, the conversation centered around her needing to tell Jeremy, and how Jeremy was going to feel about it. My eyes nearly rolled out of my head when Elena and Stefan were trying to talk to her about it, and she said there were “more important things to be worrying about,” with the Travelers stuff.

You know the only time she ever admitted to anyone that she didn’t want to die?

When Damon had that fucking poker pointed at her chest, desperately trying to goad her into some semblance of caring about the situation. Now, he was out of line, in that she did care about the Other Side’s collapse and Stefan’s death, and she had already been working on plans, but the fact is that all of those plans neglected to take into account the survival of one key person: herself. 

Damon, in all his grief and violence, was the only one who stood there and demanded that she recognize that what was happening was not okay. Not for everyone else, and also not for her. “You need motivation because if the Other Side goes away, everyone we know there, including you, goes away with it.”

And she did recognize it then.

There were tears in her eyes and she asked him if he really thought she wanted to die, and in that moment she displayed more vulnerability and emotion to her supposed frenemy than she had to all of her best friends and family and lovers in months, maybe years (outside of Matt in 5x02, which I think was entirely due to the fact that she knew he wouldn’t remember it).

I think it matters that whenever Bonnie is vulnerable, Damon is the one who is there, generally the only one who she allows to see her like that. When she’s possessed by Esther and nearly bled dry by vamp!Alaric, he’s the one who feeds her his blood and saves her life. When she’s alone on that island having her head fucked with by Shane, he’s the one searching for her and bringing her home. When she’s brought down the veil and is struggling in her fight against Silas, he’s the one whose voice she hears calling her name in those tunnels. When she’s dead and gone, he’s the one who scours earth heaven and hell to find a way to bring her home.

I think this dynamic began for them in 2x06 when Mason grabbed her and Damon got between them and pulled her free. And then it became truly cemented in 2x18 when she trusted him enough to turn to him for help when Klaus was going to kill her. That scene where she’s “dead” and he’s looking at her like she’s the most precious, important thing in the world means more to me than just to demonstrate how much Damon quietly in his heart cares for Bonnie: it also shows us that Bonnie trusted Damon enough to allow him to see her like that, that she trusted him to keep her safe while she was completely powerless and dead to the world…

And how much more meaningful is it, knowing that it didn’t start out that way? That in the beginning, Damon was actually the prime person she was hiding her vulnerabilities from?

FUCK I LOVE THIS SHIP SO MUCH OKAY