but here have this shitty starter

HEY did you know that relationships, romantic or otherwise, can thrive perfectly without sex because people are much more than their genitals? AMAZING RIGHT. You don’t need sex to “prove” to someone else that you love them because for starters sex can be absolutely meaningless, and love is about a lot more than bumping uglies

So let’s stop treating having sex as the thing that validates people’s relationships or preferences. This is the way A LOT of people get dragged into situations of abuse and into toxic relationships. It is also the base of A LOT of shitty transphobic/biphobic arguments and I am so NOT here for that bullshit.

Sex ain’t that big a deal, seriously. Love yourselves 

So I’ve recently found out that if you put a banana peel over your radiator or air conditioner or anything of the sort it’ll make your entire room smell like bananas! I reckon it’d probably work with other fruits as well. Not to brag, but I’d say that’s a pretty decent life hack.

anonymous asked:

I have this AU where everyone basically works a modern day summer job. For example, Scorpion works at the zoo, Sub at an ice cream shop, Kenshi does a summer-school job for little kids, Ermac works in a flower shop, (I could go on but I'll save your time) would you mind illustrating one? ~love you and all your art, too

Lolol, sure thing!! I actually love this idea. It’s pretty amazing. Feel free to send me more of your ideas, I’d like to draw more if I ever have a free time again. 😅
Anyway, here is Hanzo for starters. (At the zoo, yass.)

Ford’s First SMH Kegster...

Is pretty underwhelming in all honesty.  She’d been expecting to see some pretty crazy shit after the reputation the Haus had built up on campus and having met the boys.  The reality is that it’s probably the tamest party she’s been to since orientation.  For the whole thing, at least one of the guys is hovering anxiously near her, trying to make sure she feels included and isn’t scared off by all the loud drunken jocks filling the Haus.  After the third time Holster turns down a girl’s invitation to dance in favor of chilling at the edge of the dance floor with her, she gives him a shove and tells him to,

“Go after her, get your dick sucked, Birkholtz!”  Holster chokes on his beer.

“Jesus, Ford!”  He coughs, cheeks flushing from embarrassment and lack of oxygen.  “What the fuck?”

“That’s like the third girl that’s hit on you that you’ve turned down tonight.  I don’t need a babysitter!”

“We just - the guys and I don’t want you to get overwhelmed.  These things can get pretty nuts.”  Ford scoffs.

“Dude, I’m a theater major.  I’ve seen shit.”

“Really, like, Kegsters have a reputation for a reason.”  He glances around like he’s expecting a wild stampede of lax bros to come and prove his point.  “You heard about the thing with Jack and the football team, yeah?”

“Yeah.  That’s weak, bro.  Seriously, this shit is too well-organized and these people are way to straitlaced.  This is fucking bible study compared to a cast party.”

“What the hell happens at your parties then!?”  Holster looks a little alarmed, eyes even bigger than usual behind his glasses.  Ford snorts.

“Well for starters, you guys locked all the bedrooms.  And second, the only drugs I’ve seen all night are the dudes passing a joint with Shitty up on the roof.  They even went outside, like they’ve got manners or something.  As far as I know, nobody’s cheated on their partner yet, we don’t have anyone offering stick n’ poke tattoos in the kitchen -”

“Bitty would cut a bitch if someone tried to give tattoos in his kitchen.”

“Exactly!  You guys have rules here, there’s a code.  We have nothing like that, it’s just Dionysian madness, okay?  It’s a bunch of sleep-deprived, adrenaline-hyped artists getting drunk and horny in a really small apartment.  This,” She gestures to the kegster pulsing around them, “ain’t shit.  So either you go after her, or I will.”  Ford stares Holster down for a moment, where he just blinks dumbly at her.  She rolls her eyes and grabs the solo cup of beer out of his hand, chugs it, crushes the cup, and strides off in the direction the girl had left earlier.

warning, contains foul language.

“ oh, this sucks. “
“ start making sense you ____ or you’ll be sorry! “
“ or maybe i’ll put you in the goddamn furnace! “
“ how can someone with a big, smart brain get hypnotized like a little bitch, huh? “
“ now pull your head out of your goddamn ass and start FUCKING HELPING US! “
“ your ____ are not a sin. don’t be ashamed of them. “
“ i thought i’d need only until i found my vengeance. “
“ but there’s a reason i’m alive… “
“ you were the one calling to me, huh? “
“ yeah sure, i knew you right away. “
“ you look like shit. “
“ how…how long has it been? “
“ it’s nothing like the one _____ used to make but… ah hell. thanks. “
“ i’m used to sleeping outside. “
“ ah crap, i knew this would happen. “
“ stay outta my way! “
“ he’s mine you idiot! “
“ die! die, die, die! “
“ i’m gonna pull out your teeth and cram ‘em up your ass! “
“ why did you save me? “
“ apparently you don’t see too well. “
“ look, nothing good is gonna happen if you stick with me. why don’t you take off? “
“ rot in hell, asshole! “
“ i’ll tear your eyes out and piss in the sockets! “
“ no, screw ‘em. “
“ this ends now, asshole. “
“ i hate compliments. “
“ are you done talking? “
“ you’re going to stop talking now. “
“ and then i’m going to walk over to you and very carefully extend my hand, reach into your chest, and PULL OUT YOUR FUCKING HEART! “
“ ____ would never tell me to give up on life! never! “
“ i’ve spent my entire life searching for a way to avenge her death. “
“ do you know how long i’ve been like this? how much i loathe myself? “
“ ….can i rest now? i’m so…tired. “
“ me? live? what for? “
“ you’re an ass… but you’re also right. “
“ alright! alright… stop crying. “
“ you know how it is. i’ve got my own shit to take care of. “
“ enough! i’ve got a fucking reputation to maintain here. “
“ he’s fighting for you! don’t let him die for nothing. “
“ waiting is a bitch. “
“ would you all please shut the hell up and fight? “
“ i’m just saying, if you bastards wanna have a goddamn civilized discussion on the merits of bravery and sacrifice, we can do it later! “
” what in the…oh are you fucking kidding me? lemme go! lemme… oooh, I am going to KILL YOU when i get outta here. “
“ why do you have to be such a shithead all the time? “
“ if you had genitals, i’d chop them off right now. “
” …i don’t like this. weddings are festive occasions, you know? should I even be here? “
“ shut up, asshole! it was a serious question. “
“ you’ve been wearing the same, shitty clothes from when i first met you. “
“ screw these guys. they made their bed, now let ‘em shit in it. “
“ who cares if he was happy? he’s dead now. “


college hockey chants

so i realized that in 3.4 when Jack and Shitty go to Samwell’s game, that was their first time ever just watching a college hockey game. which like, yeah they were loud and annoying but let me tell you, games at Hockey Schools are full of rude chants and insider know-how. them being at that game would have been such an eye-opening experience. so here are a few of my favorite chants and shit from my school that could easily be at Samwell:

  • when announcing the visiting team’s starters, everyone turns around and yells “WHO CARES’
    • Jack: wow that’s rude
    • Shits: crazy laughter
  • chanting “ugly goalie!” over and over again whenever the goalie’s face mask is up
    • Shits after the chant: “YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE THO”
  • the few super loud frat guys who just decide to single one guy out and yell at him the entire game. the rest of the student section just starts to follow along “GET OFF THE ICE ____”, “WAY TO LOSE THE PUCK ____”, etc.
    • Jack: this is the most uncreative chirping I’ve ever heard in my life
    • Shits: haha right? oh shit there he is! FUCK YOU _____
  • when the puck is just being hit around the goal but nothing’s going in, someone yells “Give me a D - I - L - D - O  What’s that spell?” Dildo! “What’s that mean?” STICK IT IN THERE!
    • Shits: uncontrollable laughter while repeating “stick it in there” every few seconds
  • after scoring, chanting “sieve! sieve! sieve! sieve! sieve! sieve! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!”
    • Shitty: yikes
  • when our team is missing passes and is just a mess, someone yells “Give me an O - R - G - Y  What’s that spell?” Orgy! “What’s it mean?” TEAMWORK!
    • Jack looks so fuckin scandalized
    • Shitty now has tears in his eyes

At this point some fuckin freshman near them turn to Jack-fucking-Zimmermann and actually ask “Have you never been to a game before?” in the most dismissive tone and Jack and Shitty have no idea what to even say to that. It’s honestly more surreal than learning his classmates yelled at him to have an orgy with his teammates for 4 years.

  • when Chowder makes an impressive save, everyone starts bowing toward him
    • Shitty gets really into it and after a splits-save at the end, he fully get on his knees between the aisles while bowing
    • Jack pretends not to know him
  • someone yells “Give me a P - I - M - P  What’s that spell?” Pimp! “What’s it mean?” BEAT THOSE BITCHES
  • when a visiting player gets put in the box, everyone waves goodbye to him, waits for the door to close, then says “Slam! See ya in two minutes, asshole… ASSHOLE!”
  • when we’re currently losing, someone yells “Give me an A - N - A - L  What’s that spell?” Anal! “What’s it mean?” COME FROM BEHIND
    • At this point Jack just facepalms while Shits giggles stupidly
  • yelling “SIEVE” at the goalie during literally every quiet moment possible. Like the overkill level is hilarious

Add your own school’s chants!

LIKE FOR STARTER // what’s up guys it’s twist i’m so sorry for being mia, this semester ending + finals have literally been fucking me up the ass but i’m hopefully here??? for good??? pls accept my shitty graphics as forgiveness??? anyways i’d love to start rping but i HATE open starters so give this a like and i’ll come to you to figure out a closed starter between your muse and bowie!! (also if we haven’t plotted yet or enough hmu i’m really weird but i like to think of myself as nice!!!)

They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to self recovery. So, hi, my name’s Winona and I’ve become moderately addicted to eating cookie dough. I say “moderately” because it’s clearly not the best thing for you to be, you know, rigorously addicted to, right? Which brings me to this question; has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella poisoning from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life? Is salmonella even a thing? Okay, it obviously is, but I mean, not once has anybody ever told me “I don’t feel too well, I have salmonella poisoning.” I truly don’t know if I should feel cheated out of years of eating perfectly good cookie dough or not.

“want to come christmas shopping with me? i know the majority of people around here seemed to have forgot about the holidays, but i haven’t and just because i’m stuck here doesn’t mean i’m going to have a shitty christmas. i do have a thorough list though, so i can’t promise it’ll be a fast trip.”

Hey so like… I know this is kind of shitty to ask especially here but does anyone think they could spot me a bit of cash for a while? I’d pay you back. Rents about to be due and I’m a little short this month and my landlord is already kind of pissed at me.

rick was far from giving up on this war, on this militia, but he wasn’t looking to fight negan now. this was about making the hilltop safe again. making his family safe again. not that that made him any less uncomfortable with the shitty nature of this group campout. the leader struggled to contain his rage every time he caught sight of a savior, but he managed anyway. “listen. we ain’t here lookin’ for some kinda fight. we’re here to help. don’t forget that.”

Another Day.

Wisym’s fingers played at the straw of his cup, tracing tiny shapes in the dampness that gathered as the ice in his coffee began to melt. His head hurt and his mind raced and all he really fucking wanted to do was sit here in peace but the people next to him wouldn’t shut the fuck up. His usually high tolerance for the general public had run thin and the chatter of the girls beside him was driving him up the god damn wall.

So when he turned to tell them to take their workplace gossip to a different table, preferably one across the room or out-fucking-side, he was almost grateful for the body that separated him and the girls who would have no doubt told him to fuck off.

Wisym stared for moment, deciding whether or not to say anything. Deciding not to, he turned back to his coffee and took a long sip before sighing.

“I do hope you’ll be more entertaining than them at least.” He said finally, bright eyes meeting the stranger’s.