but forgivness and understanding is the most important thing

but really I don’t see enough people talking about how luke skywalker defies so many aspects of toxic masculinity and is a prime example of how kindness and compassion can be so powerful. he literally defeats darth vader by asserting again and again that vader is his father, that he doesn’t want to hurt him, that it’s not too late for him. this boy is facing death and yet he finds it in himself to understand and empathize with the man trying to kill him. he saves himself- and ultimately vader- by being forgiving, and compassionate, and kind. luke gets shitted on for being “whiny” when in reality he’s one of the few male protagonists I’ve ever seen act emotional and openly and unashamedly express his affection/feelings for others. it’s just so important to me that people realize that luke skywalker, perhaps the most iconic character to emerge over the past hundred years, is a hero BECAUSE he is kind, because he isn’t afraid to care about others, because he feels things deeply and is ultimately guided by his extraordinary heart.

Sangwoo’s Feelings for Yoonbum

This is an analysis of Sangwoo’s feelings and thoughts throughout the chapters and how he developed feelings for Bum. This is basically Sangwoo’s POV of the story. It might answer some of the questions I’ve been seeing around about ‘Why did Sangwoo do this or that?’ and etc.

0. Emptiness

I think it’s very obvious that Sangwoo used to be really really lonely before Bum showed up. As a child he was abused and I think he was very attached to his mother so he lost the only person in his life that he truly loved. Imagine how frustrating it is to always pretend to be someone else. Be happy, smile, laugh, joke and hang out with people you don’t even like. You think they’re flawed, shallow, stupid, ungrateful and have ugly personalities (Sangwoo’s words) but this is the only way he can be with people. He has to wear a mask 24/7 that hides his true personality and I don’t care if he’s horrible, he’s still human. He doesn’t whine about it but he’s been subconsciously suffering. He has so many ‘friends’ and yet he’s completely lonely because nobody accepts him for what he really is. He literally does not have anyone.

Now before you blame his behavior and tendencies, I want to point out that I think Sangwoo has Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), shows signs of BPD and also he’s a victim of abuse so with those in mind, let’s start:

1. ‘A perverted stalker?’

A guy broke into Sangwoo’s house and when he got caught, he confessed to him, telling him that he’s been in love with him. Sangwoo smiles because ‘people are full of shit’ and say anything to save themselves. Let’s trust his words here and say he didn’t kill Bum because he hadn’t kill a man in 3 years but I also think at that moment he feels like he should keep Bum around. Maybe out of curiosity? He’s not sure why yet. He just knows Bum is a different case. To do that, he breaks Bum’s legs to make sure he won’t leave.

2. ‘Can I be attracted to a man?’

He doesn’t know what to do with this guy. Bum is not loud or annoying, he doesn’t disobey him and is powerless. Sangwoo started to rationalize things for himself and figure out if he can be attracted to Bum, a man, in any way, basically he started exploring,

But still, he doesn’t trust this ‘perverted stalker’ so he is thinking, ‘I’ll provoke him and I’ll have a reason to end his life.’ BUT to his surprise, his plan backfires. Bum likes the abuse (or at least pretends to). Despite mocking Yoonbum, Sangwoo is surprised! He loves what he’s seeing. I believe he never got a reaction like that from anyone before when abusing them. And so he takes another step forward and kisses him, still experimenting.

He likes the kiss. He decides to keep Bum for now. He keeps him in the basement for a week. He hurts Bum by cutting him (punishing him) but still Yoonbum doesn’t push him away. Sangwoo realizes Yoonbum really is not a threat and is powerless which is why he took him upstairs and when Yoonbum begged him not to take him to the basement again, despite rejecting him, he considered it.

3. ‘You will hate me!’ First Test

Sangwoo believed Yoonbum will eventually want to leave him. Because I think he is aware of his own wrong actions to some point at least. Why would anyone want to stay with him after everything that happened, right? But the big improvement was that he wasn’t planning to kill him anymore. Why? I believe this is where the feelings started to develop. When he sees his mother (the only person he loved), in Yoonbum. Although he can separate these two people very well in reality.

Yoonbum said ‘I love you!’ AGAIN even after everything and Sangwoo is once again surprised! He slowly starts to trust this person’s feelings. He even gives him a knife but… not because he trusts Bum. That’s a test. I’m not sure if this translation is right but I believe that’s what he means by ‘I have something I want to confirm too’. He’s testing Yoonbum’s loyalty. He wants to know if Bum really means it when he says he loves him.

After that the real abuse starts and I believe he’s copying his father’s behavior while Yoonbum is ‘the mom’. He makes him do house chores, beats him up, etc… Meanwhile he enjoys abusing him and is waiting for an excuse to hurt him badly because he’s not emotionally attached to him yet. He doesn’t care. But Yoonbum is always obedient and finally… Sangwoo lets Yoonbum sit at the table with him because he wonders why Yoonbum is so nice to him, always smiling and listening to him and even made him a really nice dinner. He suspects him and it happens to be the same night Yoonbum uses the rat poison. For whatever reason, the poison doesn’t work on Sangwoo and Yoonbum passes the first test!

4. ‘He really loves me?’

When Yoonbum got sick, is where we can see Sangwoo’s emotions to some point. Sangwoo picked him up and took him to the basement but he looked at Bum and actually felt sorry for him (or maybe he just couldn’t see him as a threat. Either way) He went back up and laid him down on his own mattress. He took care of him and told him to rest. You can see him sitting beside him and staring at him in silence and I love this panel so much because you can see Sangwoo caring. can’t help but feel like he’s worrying for his sick bunny xD His emotions aren’t strong but he doesn’t want to lose Bum.

I think the question Yoonbum asked (whether he really meant it or not) made Sangwoo happy a bit. Chapter 5 is where he finally feels attached to Yoonbum and shows him affection. They started exchanging stories. Sangwoo was actually interested to know about his story, although he was a bit disappointed, saying that it’s ‘boring’ and that he hates weak people like Yoonbum who self pity. “Stop going on about how lonely you are. I hate that shit.” Why? Because Sangwoo is not the type that stay sad and depressed over their misfortunes. He’s the type that wants to get stronger to beat whatever and whoever is in his way. But in a way he thinks Yoonbum is like him. He started comparing himself with Yoonbum which is a big improvement. He told him how Yoonbum made things easier for him. “Why? How? I looked for a reason. And then I saw you.” He told Bum he was glad they were together and Yoonbum’s love made him feel stronger which I believe means Yoonbum’s love and obedience gives him confidence. And by kissing Bum’s wrist he implied that the love can be mutual.
Although he still doesn’t fully trust him (which is probably why he also refused the bj) but he was letting himself believe that Bum’s love for him was real. He’s happy to see someone is still in love with him even after everything that happened and after he saw Sangwoo’s true personality. He has someone now that knows his darkest secrets and still wants him for what he really is.

5. ‘Almost there…’ Second Test

Everything seems to be going well after that. Sangwoo was kind and affectionate towards Yoonbum. He took care of him and joked around. Although I’d like to think he was being too nice on purpose and not really himself and that’s because the second test was coming. He wanted Bum to feel he’d lowered his guards. He reminded Bum not to cross the line then left the house and Bum fails the second test.

6. ‘Don’t be pathetic.’ First Lesson

Even though he was hoping Yoonbum won’t come out, he expected it (considering he had the basement ready for him). He does not trust Bum at all and I think he was trying to kill Bum until he saw him calling his name even in his last moments so that changed his mind. It’s as if you want to let go of someone you like but they keep coming back to you so you can’t make the right decision. He wants Yoonbum. He wants someone to love him and he knows he probably won’t ever find anyone like that again. He was disappointed in Yoonbum SO he decided to make him better! Stronger! Like himself. So after punishing him, first he decided to show him how pathetic he is. He found a guy for Bum to kill (’for practice’), meanwhile insulting both of them to show Bum how 'bad’ it is to be weak.

Sangwoo still cares about him and makes sure Yoonbum knows that. The sick little mind games he played, were only because he enjoys seeing Bum relying on him and trusting him blindly. As I said before, it gives him confidence and makes him feel stronger.

This first murder happened. It was supposedly to make Bum stronger, show him how it feels to kill and… the most important part, help Yoonbum understand Sangwoo and be closer to him (spiritually!?) so they can be together.

7. ‘He left me too! I won’t forgive him!’ The Breakdown

Fear of abandonment. I already wrote a long post and talked about Sangwoo’s fear of abandonment here. The panic that happens after he thinks he’s been abandoned and the roller coaster of emotions. Rage, Fear, Worry, Sadness. He feels betrayed. He goes mad … and I have one thing to add to it all. I think that might’ve been how he felt when his mother ‘left him’ AKA died considering the flashbacks. (I’m not sure if this person is his mother though. She might have been a replacement?) I don’t know if Sangwoo killed her or something else happened but we can be sure that he loves and wants Yoonbum equally.

When he finds Yoonbum… he realizes how valuable he is to him and so he finally decides, “Let’s stay together… forever…”

8. ‘See how disgusting people are’

I’m going to skip a bit to where Sangwoo introduces Yoonbum to his ‘friends’. I think this is all to let Yoonbum get bullied, emotionally hurt, to build up some anger in him and provoke him. To remind him this is how people will treat you if you let them. Sangwoo already knows Yoonbum has been bullied and hurt a lot in his life because in a way he can relate to him. They are the same people. They were both hurt and abused and they have the right to punish these disgusting people. And this is all for Yoonbum and for the both of them. Sangwoo is pulling him up to his level or at least close so that they can be together. Jieun was a gift to Yoonbum and Sangwoo was happy to see Yoonbum accepted that gift.

I tried to keep this as short as possible. I think I understand Sangwoo well and I believe this is also the reason why he kills… but still these are only my thoughts and how I see everything. So they might not be 100% true. Koogi might have more surprises for her readers. But still, I love this character a lot and I can’t wait to see and know more about him and his past. Also I kind of fast forwarded the last chapter because there are so many posts about it already.

anonymous asked:

Zutarians act like Katara's romance with Aang is to the detriment of her character but somehow one with Zuko wouldn't just put her in nurturing position for an older man. I am not for Kataang but I don't think any of the show's characters would NOT put Katara in the position of a nurturer and giver. She gives too much as it is. Except perhaps Toph but Toph is twelve, confused and has parental issues. What I'm trying to ask is what does Katara gain from Zutara except acceptance.

What Katara Would Gain from Zutara

[Edited to add “Bato of the Water Tribe”! Thanks, @ adifferentcupofzutara!]

Katara would gain a partner who would help her with household duties without being asked:

Rather than someone who leaves the chores to her while he shows off for his fangirls.

Katara: Watching you show off for a bunch of girls does not sound like fun.
Aαng: Well, neither does carrying your basket.

She would gain a partner who shares parental responsibilities …

Katara: Aαng, don’t walk away from this.

Zuko: Let him go. He needs time to sort it out by himself.

And acts like a father:

Zuko: Keep in mind, these are dual swords. Two halves of a single weapon. Don’t think of them as separate, because they’re not. They’re just two different parts of the same whole.

Rather than someone who IS a parental responsibility …

And acts like her son.

Katara: What do you think, Aαng? Do I act like a mom?
Aαng: Well, I…
Katara: Stop rubbing your eye and speak clearly when you talk!

Katara: My goodness! That doesn’t sound like our Kuzon.

Katara: I’ve been training Aαng for a while now. He really responds well to a positive teaching experience. Lots of encouragement and praise. Kind words. If he’s doing something wrong, maybe a gentle nudge in the right direction.

She would gain a partner who respects her personal boundaries: 

Katara: What are you doing?!
Zuko: Keeping rocks from crushing you.
Katara: Okay, I’m not crushed. You can get off me now.

Zuko [retracts his arm so Katara can move away from him]: I’ll take that as a thank you.

 Rather than someone who transgresses them.

Katara: Aαng, I’m sorry but right now,  I’m just a little confused.

Katara: I just said that I was confused!

Someone who sees her as an ally:

Zuko: I can handle Azula.
Iroh: Not alone. You’ll need help.
Zuko: You’re right. Katara, how would you like to help me put Azula in her place?

And not a possession.

Actor Zuko: Wait.  I thought you were the Avatar’s girl.

Aαng: [nods] 

Someone who waits for the right time to talk:

Katara: You look terrible. 
Zuko: I waited out here all night.

Rather than pushing her:

Katara: Because we’re in the middle of a war and we have other things to worry about. This isn’t the right time.
Aαng:  Well, when IS the right time?

Someone who understands how much she needs her family to be there …

Katara: Dad.
Hakoda: Hi, Katara.
Katara: How are you here? What is going on?

And puts their needs over his:

Sokka: No, I’m staying. You guys go. You’ve been here long enough.
Suki: I’m not leaving without you, Sokka.
Zuko: I’m staying too.

Rather than someone who disappears when she depends on him …

Katara: He left.
Hakoda: What?
Katara: Aαng. He just took his glider and disappeared. He has this ridiculous notion that he has to save the world alone. That it’s all his responsibility.
Hakoda: Maybe that’s his way of being brave.
Katara: It’s not brave. It’s selfish and stupid. We could be helping him. And I know the world needs him, but doesn’t he know how much that we need him too? How could he just leave us behind?

And puts his needs over theirs.

Sokka: This is the map to our father! You had it the whole time!? How could you?

She would not only gain a partner who, unlike her canon love interest, sympathizes with the loss of her mother:

Katara: Well, I just want you to be prepared for what you might see. The Fire Nation is ruthless. They killed my mother and they could have done the same to your people.
Aαng:  Just because no one has seen an airbender doesn’t mean the Fire Nation killed them all. They probably escaped.
Katara: I know it’s hard to accept.
Aαng: You don’t understand, Katara. The only way to get to an airbender temple is on a flying bison, and I doubt the Fire Nation has any flying bison. Right, Appa?

Katara: I don’t?! How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through. Me personally. The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

Zuko: I’m sorry. That’s something we have in common.

Katara: But, we were too late. When we got there, the man was gone.  And so was she.
Zuko: Your Mother was a brave woman.

Katara:  I know.

But who trusts her to deal with anger and pain in HER way …

Rather than pestering her to do things HIS way.

Aαng: Katara, you sound like Jet.

Aαng: Katara, you do have a choice. Forgiveness. 

Aαng: It’s okay, because I forgive you.  That give you any ideas?

Aαng: Let your anger out and then let it go. Forgive him.

Aαng: You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing. 

Ironically, a partner who understands that some things are more important than romance!

Aαng: Katara is in danger! I have to go.

Guru Pathik: No, Aαng! By choosing attachment, you have locked the chakra! If you leave now you won’t be able to go into the Avatar State at all!

Zuko: Stop! This isn’t about you. This is about the Fire Nation.

But who would still die for her in a heartbeat …

Rather than risk her life (and everyone’s) to retain his moral purity.

Most of all, she would gain someone who sees her for who she is:

Rather than who he wants her to be.

And who doesn’t try to change her to make her better for him.

anonymous asked:

may u do 16 and 25 with Sirius black?

Prompt Request - Prompts List
16. “Give me a reason not to turn around and walk away now.”
25. “Shut up and kiss me.”

Character: Sirius Black
Word Count: 220
Disclaimer: Gif isn’t mine, credit to whoever made it

External image

+ + + + +

Give me a reason not to turn around and walk away now,“ you said, your voice eerily quiet as your glare fixated on Sirius’ nervous frame.

“I love you,” Sirius whispered, “Is that a good enough reason? Because truthfully I haven’t been the best boyfriend, I know I haven’t. And there isn’t any real reason why you should stay, but I love you. That’s the only thing I’m sure of anymore - I love you, only you, and you’re the single most important thing in my life.

I’m sorry for everything - I honestly have no idea how I could have possibly treated you in that way. You don’t have to forgive me, and trust when when I say I understand completely if you want to walk away right now. I just want you to know that I’m in love with you. I always have been. And-”

Shut up and kiss me already,” you said, taking a step towards the tall dark haired boy and intertwining your fingers into his.

Sirius wasted no time in crashing his lips against yours, the hand that wasn’t holding yours cupping your cheek softly.

“I love you so much, Y/n. I swear I’ll be a better boyfriend from now on,” Sirius said as he held you close in his arms.

“I love you too Sirius.”

Hi guys

I know it’s been awhile since the last time i showed up here..

and it truly pains me, especially the fact I have quite few messages in my inbox that i didn’t respond to yet and it’s been months.. 

But yea h, i feel it’s kinda a hard time for me you know? I think the ‘spring’ depression got me good this time..Annnnd I’m really far behind with my bachelor’s thesis and final project to get the degree too.. 

I had taken such a long break from art honestly, even tho that’s the most important thing in my life ugh 

I just don’t understand why it’s been so hard for me to draw recently.. I feel it gets a bit better tho. Drew some paintings of two main characters of my animation so yeah.. it’s some step forward i think.. but gotta get my shit together and start working hard on this otherwise i won’t make it on time..

All that being said - I miss you guys. I hope my situation gets better soon. I really miss drawing and posting art here.. And I hope you forgive me for not being active for so long and most importantly for not replying to the asks for so long.. Hope to get to them as fast as I can now tho

anonymous asked:

Can you write a fic about ss interacting after the final battle?

Thanks for the request, Anon! Here’s my take on it.

He could feel his last bit of strength diminishing, his consciousness beginning to waver. They had been laying like this for what felt like hours, hopelessly unable to move any part of their bodies. The pungent smell of their blood pooling between them was the only sense that Sasuke could recognize anymore. There wasn’t much time for him left, he knew that much. This isn’t the end he deserved, next to his best friend, the person who forced him to see the light. He was grateful to pass with his senses brought back to him.

He isn’t aware of another presence until he feels the comforting flow of chakra up through his arm, to his shoulder. Almost immediately, he begins to regain feeling throughout his body. It’s incredibly painful at first, but the pain begins to subside as the soothing energy works it’s way through his gravest injury. He had been healed many times before, but had never felt such sense of comfort and ease during the process. He glances over to see pink hair and a stoic face, glimmering eyes downcast on her work. To his side, he hears Naruto’s words of gratitude towards her.

“Thank you, Sakura-chan.”

Naruto needed this more than he did, it was he who would finish the job and undo the Infinite Tsukuyomi. There was no need for Sakura to waste her energy on a lost cause. He musters up the energy to let her know.

“Sakura…never mind me.”

“Stay quiet for now. I need to focus,” was the sharp reply.

She hadn’t been so commanding or harsh towards him before this, but he supposed that she was fed up, and rightfully so. Still, she continued to breathe life back into him. She was always so kind, so forgiving, so understanding. When she didn’t remove her hand from his arm, he understood that she’d always find a place in her heart to forgive him, even without an apology. He had been forgiven by two of the most important people to him, and nothing made him feel more remorseful.

“I’m sorry…”

“Sorry? For what?” she asks him, keeping her eyes focused on her work. She was purposefully avoiding his gaze. Deep down, she’d forgiven him, but there was still anger. Did he really know what he’d put them through?

“For everything up until now…”

If he’d begun to list all of the things he was sorry for, he’d be talking until he was dead. He was sorry for all of it, for hurting her in ways that no one else could even think of. His regret weighed on him now like heavy stones piled on his chest. When he sees her pants darkening with spots of tears after a pause, his heart begins to break. She had changed in so many ways, but she was still the same girl with the same big heart. A girl he didn’t deserve.

“You should be…really…idiot,” she cries, her voice breaking with a mixture of relief and heartache. He was. He felt that he’d do anything to prove it, though someone like Sakura would never make him do such a thing.

She appeared to be at her own limits, as her green chakra began to slowly diminish. She gave them almost everything she had left to revitalize them.

Sakura takes them by their remaining hands, pulling them up gently. She begins to wipe her tears away as Naruto uses his newly gained energy to begin talking to her animatedly. Her smile shone through her tears, and Sasuke couldn’t help his own lips from lifting a bit. She was one to always smile through the pain, but he sincerely hoped she wouldn’t have to do that anymore.

TalesFromRetail: Patience is a virtue

Well, we knew this day would be off to a roaring start, when literally, the moment my manager touched the key to the door to open the store - BOOM, the power went out.

Now, if this were a sensible story, you would think that a power outage meant that we would close up the store for an hour or two, just so we can get our systems up and running again. But you would be implying that retail makes any sense at all.

You would also think that with the store being pitch-black inside, (even the neon-lit sign on the roof was out), that people might assume that we were closed and leave us alone. But you would also be wrong. The place was absolutely packed, and since corporate doesn’t allow us to close for any reason, barring some kind of nuclear tsunami, we had to remain open, running around like chickens with our heads cut off, trying to do all cash transactions by hand with receipt paper and money pulled from the safe.

During all this, my job was to stand by the door, and warn every customer that came in that we could only accept cash, due to all of our card readers being down. Most of our customer base was pretty understanding, (bless the high school/college kids) and would choose to either pay in cash or come back later. But not everyone was so forgiving.

Enter Impatient Lady - who had big, important things to do, and wasn’t going to let any lowly retail worker stand in her way.

Me: Hello, ma'am - just so you know, we can only accept cash at the moment, since our registers are down - no cards.

IL: -scoffs and rolls her eyes-

She brushed past, ignoring me, and I figured, whatever, she was probably just having a bad day. Maybe she thought I was somehow insulting her by implying that she didn’t have cash? I don’t know.

Anyways, later on, the place finally quieted down a bit, so I was chatting with a couple of high school kids who had decided that they were just going to wait for the power to come back on, when Impatient Lady reappeared. The high schoolers had already been waiting for around 15-20 minutes, but IL immediately shouldered past them with an armful of groceries, and tossed her card on the counter, looking up at me expectantly.

Me: Ma'am, I can’t accept this. Our store just had a power outage, and our system is currently unable to accept any cards.

IL: WHAAA-AAT?! But I want to use my card!

Me: I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but there is literally nothing I can do. -shows her my blank screen-

IL: This is ridiculous! You know, you really should tell people this BEFORE they come and get all their shopping done!

Me: Actually ma'am, I did, but you ignored me.

IL: No you didn’t! Nobody told me!

High Schooler: Actually she did, she’s been saying it to everyone who came in.

IL: -huffs- Well, there should be a SIGN!

High schooler: -laughs- Nobody reads the signs! (Seriously, BLESS THEM)

IL: Well, this has been a huge waste of my time! You people are incompetent,and I can assure you, this is the last time I’m ever coming here!

She dropped her stuff on the ground, and stormed out the door, but then, guys - a miracle happened.

The minute she walked out of our doors… BOOM, the power came back on.

The high schoolers exchanged muffled laughter, as Impatient Lady continued walking away, too wrapped up in being angry to even notice. She was still within earshot, so I probably could have ran after her and let her check out but…


By: lost__wages

anonymous asked:

I apologize if I've offended you. It wasn't intended to come across as apologism, but rather redeeming oneself for past wrongs. In times such as these, I want to believe that even the worst people are capable of redemption, if they choose to seek it. I thought to ask your opinion on the idea, because I respect you. I won't ask you questions of such nature again.

I have a particularly charged history with forgiveness/redemption in a trauma context, and I’m very opinionated on it, so it tends to make me defensive faster than most other things. You might get a better understanding of my views by checking under my ‘forgiveness’ tag [x] 

I do think the conversation is important, though, if you’re inquiring in earnest about my views. In short, I believe these things:

  • Forgiveness must be earned through not only ceasing any abusive behavior but also through active action to help those previously hurt however possible

  • Only the people traumatized by an act of violation, a system of oppression, or an atrocity can determine if the oppressor has earned forgiveness. Forgiveness requires the survivor to survive, and it requires the survivors’ full consent and autonomy to decide that forgiveness is earned based on their own judgement. 

  • No survivor is ever obligated to forgive an abuser or oppressor, no matter how much they have done to cease abusive behavior or help the survivor afterwards. Any external pressure from bystanders put on survivors to forgive abusers is abuse apologism. 

Also these can be of use to survivors and oppressed peoples to determine actual change vs superficial change 

How do I care for a ChiRe baby?

This is for all the new carers out there, or anyone needing some helpful hints on how to care for your ChiRe!

(Please keep in mind I am referring to the ChiRe to be cared for as “your” ChiRe to simply say you are the one caring for them, not in any way, shape or form that you personally own them, as they are their own individual and there is ABSOLUTELY no power exchange here in the ChiRe community🌟.)

Section 1 

  • So first thing’s first; what is your ChiRe like? How old do they regress to? What do they like to do when they regress(draw, prance around, play with toys, etc.)? 
  • You should know these things about your ChiRe before you start to care for them. The most important thing is to talk to your ChiRe outside of regression and know what they expect, what’s comfy for them, and other important information such as their regression age. If your ChiRe is always regressed, which I know some are, do your best at talking to them, nicely, and let them show you what they like. It’s likely that if a ChiRe trusts you enough to allow you to be their carer, then they will comply and tell you exactly how to care for them!
  • So, I understand that all regressors and carers alike are all different people, and not everyone can follow a step-by-step rulebook on what to do.
  • However, there’s very important guidelines that you as a carer, have the responsibility of knowing how to do.
  • Carers have different roles in a ChiRe baby’s life. Some may take on a parental role, some may be the ChiRe’s datemate but care for them when they regress, some may be the ChiRe’s best friend, family member, or platonic relationship. Whatever the means, you as a carer are responsible for that ChiRe you agree to care for.
  • So that in mind, it’s okay for you as a carer to have your doubts and your own needs. But, you have to be understanding that your ChiRe has certain needs that also must be met. A ChiRe can regress and with the promise of a carer, expect you to put them to bed, brush their teeth, and other simple things of that nature. But if you don’t do those things, and a ChiRe expects you to, here’s where a serious problem begins to unfold. If you’re not able to be there for your ChiRe, something must be worked out between you and said ChiRe that’ll make it so something seriously wrong does not begin growing. Your ChiRe could fall into depression, feeling as though they are being neglected, they could lack to take care of themselves as they are not being guided by their carer, and lack of self-care could lead to illness, eating disorders(if the ChiRe needs you to remind them to eat/fix them a meal), and so forth- I mean, you see where this is going, of course.
  • You might also be caring for a ChiRe with a mental illness. This is especially important, (not to say that all ChiRe’s aren’t important, because they are!), however most mentally ill ChiRe’s require lots of extra special needs, that you must be willing to adhere to. If you agree to care for this ChiRe, you need to understand that this ChiRe is very, very tender and likely depends on you, and that isn’t your or their fault. It can be a good thing for the both of you if you understand what your ChiRe needs and you are okay with this. Make sure you talk to your ChiRe, as stated before. If you fail to be there for your ChiRe and you allowed them to depend on you, very serious things could happen to that ChiRe.
  • No one would ever wish these harsh things on the person they love and care for, Other solutions may be- having more than one carer for that ChiRe, setting up alarms for that ChiRe, or, in some cases, the ChiRe can not be regressed while you are away. Whatever works for you and your ChiRe is how it should be- and remember, it’s always best to communicate and tell each other what you need from one another. Caring for someone else is an important and a serious matter, please do not take it lightly, in the end you could hurt someone very small, and end up hurting yourself too.
  • So, are you ready to care for a ChiRe? If you think you are not able to, it’s okay. Gently let that ChiRe know that you aren’t stable enough to care for anyone else. Ultimately, you need to put yourself first before you take on the role of caring for someone else- you must care for yourself! But if you are ready, feel free to read on.

Section 2 

  • So now we know that you are able to care for a ChiRe- great! I’m already super proud of you for taking on such a unique and important role in someone’s precious life. Now, it’s up to you to make this a good experience for yourself and for your ChiRe! I’m sure, depending on the ChiRe, that they will help you through all of this- so please don’t think you are all alone. Your ChiRe loves and trusts you, and will likely understand your mistakes and help you to fix them. And please know it’s okay to make mistakes. However, if you make a mistake, don’t give up on your ChiRe- they love you, and I’m almost positive they forgive you and WILL help you! 
  • So now what? You’re ready to be a carer, you know your ChiRe and what they need, you feel confident and excited! Well I’m so glad for you, welcome to being a carer!
  • One of the most important things you have to do is wait for your ChiRe to be ready and how much they’d prefer you help them at first. Maybe they want you to watch how they regress first, and let themselves warm up to you. Or maybe they’re shy and need your help regressing in front of you. Whatever the case, it’s time to put in your best effort. If you are figuring out exactly what to do while watching your ChiRe regress, it could actually help to take notes, as silly as it sounds, it may come in handy in the future. 
  • You should plan a schedule for yourself to keep things from cluttering and clashing. Plan a time that your ChiRe agrees on when they should eat, play, nap if needed, spend certain amounts of time doing things they need, take their medicine if needed, when they should brush their teeth, get ready for bed, and sleep! Of course, you need to make sure your ChiRe is comfortable with you setting up a specific schedule. Some ChiRe’s might prefer to keep their normal schedule, one you might have to conform to! 
  • When everything’s all set, you can ease into starting the schedule and helping them to regress. It’ll feel funny at first, but you’ll soon start to see it is an honor to care for someone and very rewarding. (Hey, you might even get super cute drawings to put on the fridge!) 
  • You’ll have lots of fun with your new ChiRe! 

Section 3

  • Aside from all the good times you and your ChiRe baby are going to have, there will be harder days for you, and especially for your ChiRe.
  • Suddenly your ChiRe is upset. You can’t tell if it’s at you or something else. Perhaps the ChiRe baby won’t speak to you, is crying, or worse- having a panic attack.
  • I know this moment can be SUPER scary- and it may be hard for you to keep your own composure. But please, be patient. It can be a very tough life for someone who is regressed, and possibly mentally ill. The best thing you can do is be there for your ChiRe. This will allow them to trust you even more by showing them you will not leave them when they need you most. 
  • But first and foremost, you must know if your ChiRe baby wants to be alone or truly needs your help. Still, whatever the case, you still need to be there for them. Even if they prefer to be alone, you’d still might want to remind them that you’re there- don’t spam them- but make sure they know you care.
  • If you are with them in real life, and your ChiRe is comfortable with this, pull them into your arms and tell them you are there. Those are some of the most comforting words a baby who’s sad could ever hear. Shush them, tell them it’s okay, rub their back if they are okay with that. Let them know that you’ve got them.
  • If you aren’t with your ChiRe in real life, you can still do just as much to be there for them. Perhaps in a Skype call, or messaging them constantly to tell them it’ll be okay. 
  • Try offering them their favorite toy, snack, or stuffie (or if online, telling them to get their favorite toy/snack/stuffie and asking them to show it to you and explain it to you), offering to take them to play somewhere, play a fun online game with them, or even watch a movie with them of their choice! 
  • Maybe they need a relaxing bath with bubbles or a nice dinner, or even a nap. 
  • Whatever you do to help them, please don’t leave your ChiRe alone. They need your care in this, and just as much as they’ll brighten up your days- they need you for their darker days, too. 
  • These times are always hard, but all bad things will soon pass and hopefully quicker with your help. Just remember, everyone has their own healing pace, but it always helps to have someone there who loves and cares for you. 
  • Now things start to get tricky when it’s you that’s having the rough day and not the ChiRe baby. You may be sick, or something happened and you’re really sad and you might not be able to care for your ChiRe all that well. Believe me, it could and most likely will happen- everybody has off days.
  • The best thing you can do is understand you’re still responsible for your ChiRe, and you have to communicate your problems to them so they can understand and help you to the best of their ability. It’s a 50/50 effort, and even ChiRe babies must know that their carer can’t handle too much all at once.
  • The worst thing you can do is pretend nothing’s wrong. Bottling things up is never good and neither is keeping something important from your ChiRe, who may be a very, very important person in your life. Communication is always key! Your ChiRe will understand. They may even be able to help you while regressing. They might bring a smile to your face by making silly faces, sending silly messages, drawing you a picture, and so on. 
  • But remember it’s okay to have a bad day; for both sides. Always be there for one another, and everything should be okay.

Section 4

  • Eating. Meals are always tough, but if your ChiRe requires your help, it’s best to know the diet they are on and how to maintain it. 
  • Your ChiRe may not eat meat, or may eat too much of it- it’s time, if they are comfy with it, to help them adjust their diet if needed. Everyone should have at least 3 meals a day. If your ChiRe needs that help, sort out some meals for the next few days and keep them on a good schedule(one you can maintain as well as your own, of course.)
  • Make sure your ChiRe gets enough protein and enough veggies and all the vitamins they need. Don’t force them to eat, but don’t let them not eat either. It’s very important for them to get all the nutrients they need to grow!
  • If you’re with them in real life, it might be a good thing to prepare their meals for them, as well as making them happy while doing it- like nuggets shaped as dinos, mac and cheese and sprinkle brownies for dessert! You don’t want your ChiRe baby to get sick so make sure they eat as healthy as possible. Even if they don’t like veggies, make sure to sneak some in their meals as much as possible! 
  • If you’re not with them in real life, send them gentle reminders of what they should eat, how to make it if they need help, and guide them along. Maybe have the two of you eating around the same time! 
  • If your ChiRe baby is vegan/vegetarian, try preparing them some veggie nuggets, veggie burgers, or other meals they may like and make sure they eat lots of fruit and veggies and take all their vitamins. Have them drink a milk alternative or juice. But most importantly for everyone, is make sure they have WATER!
  • Lots of people don’t stay hydrated especially babies who can’t really care for themselves when regressed. It’s always a good idea to make sure your ChiRe baby has AT LEAST 11 cups of water a day- I know that sounds like a lot, but it’s VERY important! Encourage your ChiRe that water will help them grow strong and keep them feeling good!
  • Make sure you get the right amount of nutrients you need as well!! 

Section 5

  • Keeping your ChiRe baby entertained can be easy or hard depending on if you’re busy or not. This is why schedules are always important.
  • ChiRe’s have lots of different things they like to do, especially when regressed. You have to make time for them to play, color, and learn. You should always be able to do these things with your ChiRe. However, if you have things to do like a job or schoolwork, giving your ChiRe certain things to do while you are away may be super helpful. 
  • You could give your ChiRe some online games to play, some things to color or paint, or make sure they have a friend over or someone else to help keep them busy. While you’re with them, however, you should always try to spend time with them and keep them company- after all, you are their carer.
  • This part of the post won’t be very extensive, because I am not entirely sure what every single individual ChiRe is like! They all want to do different things, and it may also depend on the age they regress to. So of course, talk with your ChiRe about what they may like to do! 

Section 6

  • You should always make sure you have some time with your ChiRe. Not spending time with your ChiRe is very bad, as you already know I’m sure- it can lead to super bad feelings on both sides!
  • So make sure you always spend consecutive time with your ChiRe- help them to read, count, have them color for you, watch movies, play games, and all sorts of other stuff you and your ChiRe like to do together!
  • And if you think you’re limited because you’re online, that’s not true! Try video calling or voice calling, using sites like Rabb.it to watch stuff together, send each other pictures, and if you really like to, roleplay!
  • Roleplay can help with distance because you could say: Okay, time to brush! *picks you up and takes you to the bathroom to brush your teeth.*
  • Lots of people are familiar with this and it may seem silly, but it’s really helpful! It adds more to your words rather than simply saying “Okay, time to brush!”. It feels a lot more real and comforting, which is super duper important to someone who needs to be taken care of. However, it’s not a neccessity if you or your ChiRe don’t like it- it’s simply helpful for some!
  • Your ChiRe should be one of the most important things in your life, so please, treat them like they are a priority. Leaving them entirely out of your life and life decisions is not good, and can be very damaging. Remember that you are taking care of someone. That is someone’s whole life, please be a good experience for them, and for yourself.
  • Bed time- bed time is very important to me personally and is one of the most important times you can spend with your ChiRe baby. How they enter dreamland is so important and something every carer should be able to help their ChiRe baby with. Always make sure you read them a story, tuck them in with a kiss on the forehead, make sure they’re super comfy and snuggle them! It’s always the best time putting your ChiRe to bed! 
  • If you’re with your ChiRe in real life, take them to a park and push them on the swing, take them shopping, or somewhere fun where they can play and be themself and still have time with you! Spend some good time with your ChiRe, and please don’t leave them all alone! 

Let me know if I need anything else here, I can always add to this! But I truly hope this is helpful to some! 

As always, be safe and happy, and thank you for reading!~ 


Some of y’all are so ignorant its startling, shocking and downright sad!

You accuse of us not understanding Octanakin’s arc because we are unwilling to use her understandable childhood and current trauma as an excuse for her behavior. Because we are unwilling to forgive and forget her sins when she gets her (inevitable and most likely undeserved) redemption arc. But you need to understand something, you need to understand why it’s important to stop excusing Octanakin’s arc:

Y’all keep excusing Octanakin’s actions because “she loves Bellamy” and “people say/do nasty things to their siblings all the time!” Let’s clarify:

Octanakin didn’t just say or do nasty things to Bellamy. She beat him bloody (only stopping because she was tired) and then later informed him that if he weren’t her brother, he would be dead. If this is “people saying/doing nasty things to their siblings” I need to know what kind of fucked up relationship y’all have with your family members. 

Octanakin physically abuses literally everyone she cares for (Lincoln, Bellamy, Indra and now Ilian) and to boil this down to just her actions against Bellamy means you miss a lot of her other, inexcusable actions. 

Also, your abuser loving you? Means not a goddamn thing. Lots of abusers and their victims excuse the abusers actions because “They love me!!! They didn’t mean it!!”

Lots of abusers “love” their victims and it is absolutely understandable when abuse victims love their abusers, but we teach people that it’s OK to walk away from people who hurt them and that includes the people we love. 

Love can be toxic, and some of the most toxic relationships are within families because lots of people believe they have to be OK with things their family members do to them because they’re family. 

The excuses bother me so much, because a lot of the people who are making these excuses for Octanakin are older women who lots of younger fandom members look to as fandom moms (even if that’s not the intent) and so to see you all saying that “She still loves him….people say nasty things” about the Blake siblings relationship is so bothersome to me because young people in abusive familial relationships need to know that this isn’t OK and in providing all of these excuses for Octanakin you all are saying that it is.

Recognize that in excusing fiction you are literally creating excuses for real life abusers and their victims. 

Self care looks different at different times. Each day, self care can take a different form. There hasn’t been a “self care is ACTUALLY…” post yet that I can’t relate to, depending on how I’m feeling, but one thing holds true:

Self care is hard

I’m writing this on a bad day, a day when maybe self care looks like just… staying in, because I don’t have the spoons to go out, and spending hours trying to forgive myself for that. Self care isn’t glamorous today, it’s not a bath or a mug of tea, it’s lukewarm leftovers and beer. Self care is doing the bare minimum, and it’s still so fucking hard.

Maybe today, I eat. Maybe I drink a beer and stay sober and maybe I don’t get trashed and maybe I don’t relapse and maybe, today, that’s self care: eating and staying sober.

Maybe tomorrow I relapse, or the next day, or maybe I never relapse ever again. Maybe tomorrow, eating and staying sober come easy to me. Maybe tomorrow, self care looks lie a mug of tea and a calming bath, and maybe tomorrow I’ll spend several hours trying to forgive myself for needing that extra ~frilly~ self care. Maybe one of these days, self care will take the form of cleaning my house, because I can’t deal with how much I hate myself anymore and at the bare minimum, I can clean so I’ll stop being such a fucking trashy waste of space, or maybe I’ll try to forgive myself for not cleaning, or maybe I’ll realize halfway through my bath that I never checked the mail, or maybe… or maybe…

That’s it. That’s my life. That’s the big neurodivergent secret: it doesn’t actually matter what your self care looks like, but it matters that you let yourself have some, and it matters that it’s not easy and you do it anyway.

Self care is hard, it’s difficult, it’s taxing, it’s frustrating, and if you can care for yourself easily, then you might not understand why such tiny little gestures are upheld as the most important thing you do all day. But for those of us who can’t take them for granted, trust me when I say: they are very, very important. And the fact that we know they’re tiny gestures makes them all that much harder, because the shame of knowing I can’t do any better is devastating.

@angel34jolly-blog; Tony stark one-shot where he and the reader have an argument over something minor right before the holidays. Like, tree color decorations or something and it turns into a huge screaming match. But they reconcile right before the holiday party please? Thanks

TITLE: Making up.
NOTES/WARNINGS: Swearing. I love Tony with all my heart so I struggled a bit with this. It’s more of a drabble than a one shot I’m afraid.

Keep reading

Please Let Me Explain - Part 2/3

A/N: HERE IT IS PART 2! The final part will be up later today, or tomorrow. Thanks for the support given for my fanfics from all of you guys! I really do appreciate it and it means a lot. Also, this starts off in Dan’s POV of the  situation, just so you guys can know what was going on in his mind during the whole thing!

Warning: Swearing as per usual

Word Count: 1,121

Dan’s POV

I was sitting on the couch, waiting for Y/N to arrive at my flat. We planned to hang out today, and she had a stressful day at work so I wanted to help her out.

“Dan, can I talk to you for a moment?” My flatmate Phil asks, walking into the living room.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Do you have feelings for Y/N?” Phil sits down on the sofa next to me, and looks me straight in the eyes.

“Um no…” That was a lie. I actually do but I just…I have no chance with her so the best thing to do is hide it.

“Dan don’t lie to me, I can see it in the way you look at her.”  

“Phil, I promise you I do not ‘like’ Y/N” I stand up to leave the room but Phil stops me. 

“Dan why can’t you just accept that you have feelings for her!” Phil’s voice is getting louder, he probably had all this pent up rage about the whole situation. 

“I’m not lying to you Phil." 

"Dan just tell me the truth, do you have feelings for Y/N?” Phil’s yelling now, maybe I should tell him the truth? No…it’s too risky. I take a long pause to think of my answer, and decide to go with what my mind is telling me. 

“I’ve told you this many times before Phil, I don’t like Y/N, and I never will!” I yell back, he’s getting on my last nerve. 

“Dan” Phil lowers his voice, and walks up to me worried 

“Fine Phil. I like Y/N. Hell she is the most beautiful, amazing, funny person I’ve ever known and I’m scared that I’m going to fuck that up like I do everything else.” I go quiet again, and stare at the ground. But then I hear something at the door, and my heart stops. “Fuck” I mutter. 

“What?” Phil is now quiet again, and he walks up to me worried. 

“I think that’s Y/N.”


I walk over to the door slowly, oh god please don’t be her. I open the door and see Y/N standing there, her head down with tears dripping down her face. Of course I fucked this up. I felt the world crashing all around me, it hurt me so much seeing Y/N standing there crying. Was it because she heard everything or the stressful day at work. Play it cool Dan, act like nothing happened. 

“Oh hey Y/N” I say. “Oh fuck what happened are you okay?” I go to hug her but she instantly pushes me away and says she needs to go. 

“Shit Y/N please don’t tell me you heard all of that.” Oh god, she was crying because of me.  

“Yeah I should really go, I-um- yeah” Y/N turns around and starts walking down the stairs, stop her you fucking twat. I grab her wrist and try to explain to her what happened. 

“Y/N I didn’t mean anything I said I promise. Phil helped me out. Please just listen to me, I need you” I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I say the last part. How could I hurt someone so sweet, and beautiful? 

“I need to go, I’m sorry” Y/N take off running down the stairs. Fuck you fucked this up so badly, you idiot! I punch the wall, not hard enough to break it obviously, but hard enough to hurt myself.  

“Fuck fuck fuck.” I mumble walking back into my flat.

“What happened?” Phil comes running up to me, and I look him in the eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks. “Oh no it was Y/N, wasn’t it?” I nod my head and break down crying in front of Phil. 

“I fucked it up Phil. I fucked up the thing that was most important to me and now she’s gone!”

“Dan, Y/N obviously really cares about you. If you explain to her what happened maybe she’ll understand and forgive you. You can fix this.” Phil comforts me, he always knows what to say to give me motivation. 

“I can fix this.” I run off to my room to figure out a plan. I may or may have not tried to text Y/N a few times, I needed to see if she was alright. I feel like such an ass for doing this to her.  

After about an hour of trying to figure out what to do, I decide to just go with what my heart tells me, instead of my mind. My mind kept saying “Don’t go for it, you twat she won’t forgive you. Hell, she probably doesn’t want to be with you.” but my heart was saying the exact opposite. I walk up to Y/N’s flat and knock on the door.

~Time skip to where it left off in the first part~

Your POV

“Y/N please let me explain.” Dan says. Oh god he looks so hurt. Look what you’ve done you hurt him so much, just let him explain! 

“Alright fine.” You say as you cross your arms. 

“Um, where do I start? Oh! So Phil came up to me earlier today and asked if I had feelings for you, and I kept denying it." 

"Thanks makes me feel a lot better, can you go now?” Your heart is shattering into billions of pieces, why can’t he get the hint? 

“No I’m not finished. I kept denying it because I was scared. I was scared that you would feel nothing for me back and you would be the one to break my heart. I mean, have you seen yourself? How could a guy like me get someone as amazing as you?” Your heart flutters as he continues confession. “But I realized the best thing to do was just go for it and Phil showed me that. But then you ended up hearing all the bad parts of the conversation, and I ended up hurting the person who I care about most. I’m so sorry for everything that I’ve done. I don’t expect you to come running into my arms and I definitely understand if you don’t even want to talk to me.” He shrugs at the last part. 

Your mind is racing with thoughts. Some saying “TAKE HIM BACK” and others saying “No he’ll just end up hurting you again”. You don’t know what to do. You stand there in shock staring at Dan.  

“Its fine, I understand.” Dan forces a smile and starts to walk away from your flat. You were in so much shock you couldn’t move or talk. You stood there watching Dan’s body become smaller as he walks farther away. 

Now look what you’ve done. You are now the one who hurt him.

A new perspective into Han’s death scene , how he will impact Ep VIII + IX and what really motivated Kylo to kill his father

Han’s death scene has always been confusing to me. I felt like JJ was trying to allude to multiple things that lay just below the surface, but I could never quite understand what they were. However, it has finally all clicked together and the result is this post, where I will be taking an in-depth look at Han’s death (frame by frame) and how it will impact Kylo Ren during the future episodes. 

The first thing I want to make clear is that Kylo Ren did not expect to see his father there. In fact, he was actively trying to avoid speaking to him, even though he could feel his presence. This means that everything that follows was not premeditated, but completely a spur of the moment, with both Han and Kylo earnestly reacting to each other respectively. JJ confirms this in his recent commentary, although I have only seen short clips of it.

I’m going to skip to where I think the dialogue and acting becomes more than self-explanatory.

When Han says “come home, we miss you”, this is the first time we hear not Han’s words, but Leia’s. This is actually what causes Kylo to break down and finally be honest with his father. There is evidence in the movie that Kylo still cares for his mother, although it is fleeting (he does not want Snoke to use the starkiller weapon on the resistance base). It’s important to notice here that Han does not believe that Leia’s wishes can come true. He is saying these words out of obligation. Don’t get me wrong, he wishes that he could be optimistic like her, but in his heart of hearts, he knows that this is only wishful thinking (look at his concerned face when Leia says “bring him home”).

There is a long pause before Kylo speaks, and it is during this time that Kylo realizes that there is only one way to confirm whether his father is earnest about taking him home and starting again. He is sad because he is afraid of rejection once again. If you have read my previous post concerning Luke, then you know that in my mind, Kylo was betrayed before by Luke. He decides that he must test his father’s loyalty here, because he cannot bear being betrayed again. It’s not about killing Han in order to finally be part of the dark side, although this might be part of it. Personally, my perspective has changed and I think it’s a lot more intimate than that.

At this point, I just want to say that Kylo and Han’s perspectives change. So what may be true for one character is not necessarily true for the other. I just want to make that clear before we drive into the rest of this, quite frankly, extremely complicated scene.

Kylo says that he knows what he has to do. I believe that he is referring to the decision he must make in order to fully commit to the dark side, finally severing himself from Ben Solo. It may also mean him killing Han in order to do this but he is hesitant. There is a part of him which wonders whether he should accept the light and return. But he doesn’t know if that’s possible.

He needs Han to confirm whether it is or isn’t, thereby solidifying both of their fates.

Kylo asks if his father will help him and Han replies yes, anything. Kylo looks at his father as Ben Solo, unsure of how his father will respond to what he is about to do.

When Kylo pulls out his lightsaber, he is testing his father’s loyalty. He wants to see whether Han will take the lightsaber. From Kylo’s perspective, he wants to see whether his father will freely accept that he must kill his own son.

Yes, that is what I think is actually going on here.

You see, if Kylo just wanted to kill his father, he wouldn’t have offered him his lightsaber. Kylo wants Han to decide his son’s destiny. He wants Han to show him which side of the force he really belongs to. The reason he gives up his own freedom of choice, his independence, is, I think, because he doesn’t want to take responsibility for the crimes he has committed. He is selfish and scared, full of regret and remorse which is why he feels ‘torn apart’ and ‘pain’. So if Han chooses for him then he can justify his turning to dark side as him, ‘having no choice’.

When Han readily takes hold of it, so quickly and easily, from Kylo’s perspective, he sees this as confirmation that his father means to kill him, because it is the only way to ‘save’ him. In other words, it finally confirms to Kylo, that his father believes he cannot be saved. Kylo sees that he cannot return to the past and be as he was, as Ben Solo. That door really has closed. He needed his father to confirm this to him.

The minute Han’s hand grabs hold of the lightsaber, we cut to seeing the light disappear. I’d just like to take a moment to talk about lightsabers in TFA. Whenever a lightsaber is touched in this movie, it symbolizes change. With Rey, it symbolized how she had left one world and entered another. Here, the same thing is happening.

Han taking hold of the lightsaber symbolizes, to Kylo, that he can never return to the light, that he can never return to his parents. It is crucial to see that he needs confirmation in order to finally commit himself to the dark side. In his mind, he has no choice because he can only be either Ben Solo or Kylo Ren, and his own father finally confirms that he can no longer be Ben Solo. This makes him able to commit the most terrible of crimes and decide to be Kylo Ren.

Going deeper still, there’s a very good tv series called Penny Dreadful, and in it they show different types of love, which is very relevant here.

Kylo, I think, sees it this way. I think he knows that his parents love him really, on a sub-conscious level. But while his mother would do anything to save him, he believes subconsciously that Han loves him in a different way. He loves him enough to kill him.

So Kylo kills his father, believing that Han has betrayed him, or rather, made him realize that there was no choice, and that he really was no longer his son but the enemy.

Originally posted by diablito666

But that’s only Kylo’s perspective.

Now here’s Han’s perspective, and why his death is going to be so crucial in the upcoming episodes.

Han is surprised that Kylo takes out the lightsaber but he looks at kylo with a little relief and he sees it as a symbol of surrender. So from Han’s perspective, he takes hold of the lightsaber as acceptance of that fact. Almost as if saying ‘let’s go home.’

The light dies, and we see that Kylo is looking at his father as if Han has confirmed something to him. We see the darkness and resignation in his eyes. We even see anger and disappointment (you can almost imagine Kylo thinking, you really would kill me. You really would abandon me again). Han is confused and concerned because he doesn’t understand what has just transpired. 

We get the close-up of the hands. This is showing the inner conflict between the different perspectives. Han realizes that Kylo is not letting go and there is a moment where he seems to finally register what Kylo meant by ‘help me’ and the real reason why he pulled out his lightsaber. He meant “are you willing to kill me”. Han realizes too late his mistake.

This is what makes this scene truly tragic. Miscommunication and misunderstanding, something which plagues every parent when it comes to their children. I know this is on a totally different scale, and again, you can say that I have read this scene entirely wrong, but I believe that’s what’s really going on here.

Kylo says “thank you”, as if he has finally gotten the truth, and we cut to seeing Han’s expression, which is that of dismay and shock at how blind his son is towards the real truth. It’s not just pure surprise; it’s his realization that his son is completely ignorant of the most important thing of all.

With his last strength, he lifts his hand in order to try and convey to his son that he has misunderstood. You see pain and anguish on Han’s face. Not just that he is dying or that his son has killed him. But because his son failed to understand him. Failed to understand that he was accepting him, despite everything that he had done. The most important thing to Han, in that moment, is to prove to Kylo one thing.

That last touch between father and son, to me, reads this way. Han is trying to say this: I would never betray you this way. I would never kill you, you are my son. I am sorry that I ever gave you reason to think that I would. I forgive you. I love you. 

Originally posted by skylorennn

Kylo is devoid of emotion, because he doesn’t register what Han is attempting to convey. In that moment, he does not realize that he has made a colossal mistake.

It’s only after Han falls that Kylo seems to, on a completely sub-conscious level mind, register a little of what his father meant. It’s only a moment however, and soon his attention turns to Rey and Finn. He feels immense anger, and eventually takes it out on them, but this anger actually comes from the fact that, on a subconscious level, he knows that his father would never have killed him, and also, that he has lost perhaps the only person who was more loyal to him than to the jedi or resistance (unlike his uncle).

I believe that Kylo will eventually realize what really transpired on the bridge and how much his father loved him and that will change his perspective on his father but also about the possibility of returning to the light, and how he actually always had a choice.

If you haven’t yet seen my other post about Kylo and the jedi massacre, please take a look at that and then this post. Also take a look at the scene again after reading this and tell me what you think, what you agree and disagree with.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this post, please like and re-blog! :D:D:D

And here’s a cute picture of BB-8 to cheer you up, cos’ I am feeling heavy and depressed after writing all of this haha!

Originally posted by eldelcubrebocas

anonymous asked:

Uh, hi! I've been your secret admirer for a very long time. Every arts you make is deserved to be called masterpieces, ykno? And, seeing your recent post about people taking your arts to another websites I'm so mad too, and,... (man ive been taking this too long and i know you don't understand english so much please forgive me..) Would you mind if I I took one of your Pewdiecry fanart and set it as my book cover in wattpad please? I'll credit you for sure, if you don't want to I can understand.

Hi anon, thank for your comments. You’re so kind ; - ;

the most important thing that i care is to “let the artist know and get their permission”. would you mind to send me a private message, so we could discuss about the novel cover? :) few months ago there was another person had the same request as you. we could talk about it ! so send me a message anon ;D

oh and i could read english, but i’m afraid that i can’t explain my opinion well in english, hope you understand. and thank you for sending me this!


Draco Malfoy x Reader

Request: Can I have a Draco one shot where the reader and Draco have been together for a really long time and it’s they’re 2 year anniversary and Draco forgets and The reader gets really upset and ignores him while he tries to figure out what he did wrong. Then when her best friend (pansy) tell him he makes it up to the reader and it’s really cute and fluffy. (I’m in Slytherin) Love your imagines by the way. Thanks! Love you!!

A/N: I hope you like it!


Your name: submit What is this?

The Great Hall buzzed with noise, conversations echoing off the stone walls of the castle. You walked in, a bright smile on your face and your stomach fluttering as soon as you caught sight of your boyfriend, Draco Malfoy.

You strode over to the Slytherin table, taking a seat between Draco and Pansy. As you sat down, you placed a slice of toast on your plate, turning to Draco with a grin.

“Hey,” You greeted with a smile.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Draco returned, placing a kiss on your cheek before resuming his conversation with Blaise.

You felt your smile fall from your face, and you pulled it back up.

“Draco,” You spoke, pulling his attention from the conversation once more, “I think you’re forgetting something.”

You were referring to the fact that today marked your two year anniversary since you had began dating the Slytherin.

“Huh?” Draco asked, confusion spilling onto his features, before realisation dawned on him, “Oh yeah! I left my potions homework on my bed! Snape would have killed me! Thanks, Y/N.” He left promptly after a chaste kiss.

Your heart fell. He didn’t remember. Two years of a relationship, and he didn’t remember.

Pansy threw you a sympathetic smile, reaching over and gently clasping your knee. “Maybe he’s just faking it?” she offered.

You sighed. You knew Draco well enough to be able to tell when he was lying, and so you knew for a fact that he didn’t actually remember your anniversary.

“Maybe.” You spoke quietly, humouring Pansy.


You sat in Charms next to Draco quietly, not saying anything as you pulled out your books.

“Hey darling.” Draco said, moving towards you for a kiss.

You turned your head slightly, so his lips landed on your cheek instead. “Hey.”

Draco frowned, wondering why you were upset. “Did someone say anything to you?” he asked.

“No, I’m fine.” You replied briefly, not feeling like talking as you turned your attention to Professor Flitwick, who sat at his table. A piece of chalk hovered in the air in front of the blackboard that flanked the table, before hitting the board, writing Stunning Spell.

You felt Draco shift next to you and he reached to hold your hand. You shifted in your chair, bringing your hands onto the table and grabbing a quill. Draco’s hand fell limply to his side and he sighed deeply before grabbing his own quill.

Halfway through the lesson, whilst you were using the stunning spell on rats rather than your classmates, Draco walked up to you again. 

“Stupefy.” You cast, the large rat had faltered in his steps slightly before it attempted to scurry to the other end of the table. 

“Y/N.” Draco interrupted.

You glanced at him briefly, “Hey.”

“Why won’t you talk to me?” He asked, grabbing your wand hand gently. Briefly, you contemplated whether you would get a detention for stunning Draco. “What have I done?”

“Nothing, Draco.” You replied, ripping your hand from him. That’s just the problem, you thought.

“Y/N, obviously I’ve done something wrong.” Draco said, choosing to keep his distance.

You sighed, feeling more annoyed than upset or angry. Draco hadn’t remembered your anniversary, so perhaps he wasn’t as invested emotionally in this relationship as you were. His insistent whining did nothing to show you that he cared, only proving that he wasn’t trying to remember what he forgot.

“Stupefy.” You cast at the rat, ignoring Draco. The rat immediately slumped to the table, it’s tail flopping limply next to it’s round body. 

“Excellent! See everyone, Miss Y/N has been able to cast the spell perfectly.” Professor Flitwick squeaked. You avoided Draco’s gaze and when he went out to reach for you, you immediately scrambled to the front of the room, where Flitwick had summoned you.


“You’ve really messed up this time, Draco.” Pansy spoke, coming to stand next to him in the corridor after class.

Draco glanced at her, “I don’t understand what I’ve done.”

Pansy rolled her eyes, “You honestly don’t deserve her. When you both started dating, I warned you not to hurt her, Draco.”

“So, it is my fault.”


“What did I say wrong? Why is-”

“It’s not what you said, but rather what you didn’t.” Pansy interrupted, looking at the blond Slytherin with a hard gaze. “You’re lucky what you’ve done wrong is minor, else I would have killed you myself.” She threatened.

Draco sighed slightly, not at all terrified by your best friend.

“It’s your anniversary, troll face. You’ve both been together for two years today, and you forgot.”

Draco closed his eyes in realisation, letting out a sigh, “Oh Merlin. How could I forget?”

Pansy fought the urge to roll her eyes again.

“She probably thinks I don’t care. Merlin’s beard.” Draco worried, his gaze locked on you as you walked through the throng of students, heading down to the common room. “I need to go.” He said, leaving abruptly.


You were sitting in the common room alone. It was after hours and you were sat in front of the fire that added an odd glow to the green Slytherin common room.

“Y/N! Y/N!” A shrill voice called.

You turned and immediately stood from your seat when you saw Pansy in a disheveled state.

“Pansy? What happened to you?” You hurried towards her, “Who did this? Are you okay?”

“I- I-” Pansy took off, her black her flying behind her as she exited the common room.

“Pansy!” You yelled, running after her. Thoughts began running through your head as you tried to keep up your best friend.

Who hurt her? Who would you need to hex? Why was she running from you? Your feet pounded through the corridor and your mind briefly flickered to the chance of you receiving detention if you both got caught past curfew.

You dashed up the stairs as you followed Pansy, wondering what the hell she was doing.

Pansy disappeared through two large doors that seemed to appear from nowhere and you followed her into it.

You paused as the door slammed behind you and you tried to catch your breath. It was only when the thudding of your heart was the only thing you could hear that you realised you were alone. Pansy had tricked you, you realised with a jolt. But why?

There was a small shuffle and you whipped your head to look for the noise, cursing yourself for not bringing your wand which remained tucked under the blanket in front of the fire back at the Slytherin common room.

You noticed how devoid of objects the room was and there was a small spark before the room was illuminated in a golden glow.

Silhouetted by the fire, Draco stood from his seat on the ground, the shadow on his face concealing his eyes.

“Draco.” You greeted, half of you wanting to sit and sleep in front of the fire, but the other needing answers. “What the hell is going on?”

Despite the shadows, you could see the small smile on Draco’s face as you walked closer to him. “Pansy was helping me out.”

“Oh.” You paused, remembering suddenly that he had forgotten your anniversary.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I completely messed up, I can’t believe that I forgot our anniversary.” Draco sighed at the unchanged look of steel on your face. “I don’t deserve you. You’re too good for me. I forgot our anniversary when you are the most important person in my life right now.”

“Go on.” You smirked, humour evident in your voice. The anger you had felt towards Draco had dissolved a while ago, as mad as you wished to stay against him, you couldn’t. After all, Draco was going through so many things that it was understandable that he forgot.

“I love you.” He chuckled, closing the distance between you as he captured your lips with his. When you both pulled away, Draco set his forehead on yours, “I’m so sorry.”

“I know.” You replied, “I forgive you.” 

Draco lips quirked up and he pecked your lips once more before he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the floor. Your folded your legs under you, mentally thanking Draco for placing a blanket to protect you both from the cold stone floor.

“Happy Anniversary.” Draco said, pulling a small wrapped box from the side of a basket. 

You looked at him guiltily, you didn’t bring your present for him.

“Look in the basket.” Draco smiled. You furrowed your brows in confusion, but did as he had asked. You let out a laugh as you pulled out your present for him. 

“I suppose I ought to thank Pansy for this.” You laughed.

Draco’s laughter mixed with your own as you swapped presents. With a glance at each other, you both began to unwrap the presents at the same time.

You pulled the lid of the box and your mouth fell open. Inside the box was a oval pendant laced with moving vines that hung from a thin silver chain. You pulled it out and opened the locket, a small smile tugging your lips when you saw the picture.

In the pendant was a small moving picture of you and Draco. Draco had his hand wound around you waist as you pressed against his body, slipping your hand into his. Slowly, in graceful movements you both began to twirl, small smiles on both of your faces as you looked at each other with love.

“Oh, Draco. It’s perfect! Thank you!” You closed the locket and looked at him, leaning forward as you pressed your lips to his.

“I can’t believe you did this for me,” Draco muttered, as you pulled away. What Draco was talking about was the fact that you had rented a house over the summer for you and Draco to live in. You knew of Draco’s father’s allegiance with Voldemort and you knew of how much Draco feared him. So, you had asked your parents for permission, and they had granted it to you, even helping you find the house.

“Yes, well. I may have been a little selfish with my present.” You shrugged. Draco looked at you questioningly. “I’ve always wanted to go to Paris.”

Draco laughed, shaking his head at you. “Of course, it’s in Paris.”

You shrugged as you passed him the necklace, “Put it on me?” You asked.

Draco took it from you without a word and you shifted so your back was to him and lifted your hair, the silver cool against your neck. You let your hair fall down and you briefly touched the locket, the vines shuddering under your fingers.

You turned to face Draco once more, and found that he had already started pulling out some snacks. You laughed slightly and began to help him, ready to finally celebrate your anniversary.

Another One!!

So here’s another fic! This one came to me after listening to Little do You Know (GO LISTEN TO IT) and then of course talking to @the-iron-dragon-god because I bounce a lot of trash off him!

Anyway enjoy please!

Words: 1,212


She’s past the forgiving. That was easy. She’s known for a long time that it was never him, and that there’s a reason he’s here with her now, doing things all the time that she knows are just atoning for what he’s done back when he was stupid and blind and unfeeling. Even lately it’s less fixing things and more about feeling accepted, because he is.

He no longer has to prove himself, he’s been a valuable member to the guild and in people’s lives. No one can imagine life without him, and it’s fur good reason. Her life has changed because of him for so many reasons.

He’s the reason she has trouble looking at that tree, the reason she has a set of arms to wrap herself into when she’s sad or even just looking for a hug, he’s the reason she loves singing more than ever right along with hearing it, he’s the reason that she doesn’t like shadows that move along behind her, the reason a red glint in just the wrong way shakes her to the core, or the reason that her bed is always warm on the other side come morning.

His positive affects greatly outweigh the bad, and that’s the only reason she knows that it’s right to stay with him. What would she even be without him? He’s taught her things about herself and what she could do. He was an odd sort of role model back when she didn’t trust her actions and belittled her own skills. Now she doesn’t need anyone to help her know these things about herself, though he still tries to tell her constantly. She’s strong, and she understands that now more than ever thanks to him.

He isn’t a role model anymore though, that’s way too shallow to describe how much she loves this idiot, how heartbroken she’d be if he wasn’t around for her, and how much she loves being able to sleep next to him every night and be wrapped up in his warm nature that he rarely lets see the light of day. She doesn’t have any reason to be afraid of him ever again, and she isn't… there’s just always going to be this strange and even unsettling feeling that she’s sleeping next to someone who hurt her.

It’s not the superficial kind of hurt, it cuts deep, has left memories forever, had left scars that you can’t see. It’s not a matter of drowning out bad memories with good feelings, or remembering that he’s not the same person he was then, because she already knows. She already understands that he’s not like that anymore and that she loves him more than anybody she may ever find, but all the good intentions in the world can’t make her truly forget that once upon a time he was the scariest thing in her entire life, and she’d been left fighting for life after his actions, and that everything in her should be saying no. This is wrong. You can’t forgive him for this.

She already has though, and clearly quite a lot since she has moved on from not trusting him at all to letting him be the most important part of her life in all the right ways.

Oftentimes she wonders how easy it would be to forget if only he wasn’t around at all. Maybe if she never got this close his presence wouldn’t be a constant reminder, and maybe if she didn’t love him so much a time where she was terrified of him would no longer matter. That’s not an option anymore though, because she’s with him in ways that she couldn’t escape because she’d ruin herself and him. She couldn’t stand to hurt him after all this time, and she’s confident in saying he doesn’t want to hurt her either.

It’s obvious that he still thinks about it now and then, though he looks happier than ever. He has a life and he has a purpose and she can see that burning in his eyes more than hate or malice. The evil had never had such a grip on him as love has, and as a good person he’s even more passionate and holds this zeal for everything around him that doing horrible things never did for him. It’s remarkable and beautiful and she feels honored to have been part of what convinced him to make that change… but of course she knows that sometimes he looks at her and thinks of what he’s done.

She wonders if she’s the only one who would have an easier time forgetting if they weren’t in each other’s lives to this day.

Eventually she pulls herself out of the bed, feet hitting the floor as she slowly arches her back and stretches out, standing only seconds later as she straightens her shirt which has rode up her body from being under the covers and so close to him at the same time. She takes a few seconds to look back at the mess of dark hair and the occasional metal stud glinting with every tiny flash of the moon reflecting just so, thinking about how much he’s given her, good and bad and everything between. But just like the way malice gripped him and how it never came close to the power that caring and a future had, the feelings of joy that she’s picked up from him leave a more lasting impression that the scary moments of their meeting.

She smiles, but then her expression sours and she frowns, sitting down again for a second as she feels nauseous. He’s going to notice something is going on soon enough, but she doesn’t know how to tell him yet. She knows he wants this, that’s not the issue at all, because he’s said as much in the past that he’s thought about it as an option where it never was. Mainly she just wants to make sure she does it in exactly the right way, because she wants to see every second of his happiness on his face. She loves seeing him happy.

The little moment of feeling sick passes after a few deep breathes, and she looks over her shoulder at him once again, because she knows now that he’s given her something else. A baby, something she always dreamed of even if she wasn’t actively thinking about the idea. Another good thing for the list.

How is the other little life going to remind her? Well she doesn’t know, and that in itself is a little scary to her… but if a person being around can conjure bad memories and bring you back to an awful time without meaning to then it only makes sense that a different life (or in her case, even if she doesn’t know it, two lives) can be purely good memories, and be another counterbalance for those haunting pieces. This baby is going to be another reason to remember the good. It’ll be untainted by mistakes and pure in how it came to be.

If she has enough good things in her life thanks to him, including this child, then forgetting doesn’t even matter. Forgiving was the easy part, and it’s what matters more.

Mad at Nothing (Patrick Stump)

Based Off of the Request: Hella angsty: Patrick after you two get into a fight and eventually coming around to apologize


I sit on the couch typing on my laptop, struggling to finish the end of my report. Suddenly, the door to the music room slams open, and Patrick rushes out into the room, heading towards the kitchen.

“Hey babe, is dinner ready?” He asks, passing by the couch.

“Yes, Patrick, I told you the chicken was ready an hour ago, it’s on the stove” I say tiredly.

“Right, sorry, I got a little distracted” he calls from the kitchen.

“It’s fine just clean up when you’re done please, I’m still trying to finish this paper”

“Yea sure of course, i’ll do it once I finish” he says through a mouth full of food as he walks back towards the music room”

I huff out a laugh and roll my eyes “ Uh uh, sure you will”

Patrick pauses in the doorway, turning back to face me with a frown. He sets his plate down on a desk and backtracks toward the couch. “What is that supposed to mean”

I let out a sigh and close my laptop, giving up.

”It means,” I say slowly “that you haven’t exactly been present lately”

“(Y/N), I’ve been working on my new music, you know that”

“I know and that’s great, it really is, but you’ve also been neglecting practically everything else”

“I’m sorry, my music is just the most important thing to me right now” he says apologetically.

“Wow, I’m glad I mean so much to you” I say, stung. I stand up from the couch and start to walk away

“(Y/N), you know that’s not what I meant” Patrick says tiredly.

“Really? Do I?” I say, slowly getting more irritated, “because for the last three weeks you’ve been completely closed off! I can barely get you to say more that five words to me at a time and you spend all of your time in that dark little room, it’s like you’re not even here anymore”

Patrick raises his hand in protest, but I shush him and continue.

“And I know music is important to you, and I would never ever want to take that from you. You love music and that’s a wonderful thing PAtrick, but when you put it above everything else, you fade away from me, and I hate it. I have a life too, Trick, things that are important to me. I Cant always walk around cleaning up your messes because youre distracted”

“(Y/N) you’re mad at nothing, but I am sorry,  whatever you want, if it’s me to help clean up around the house, or spend less time a day working that’s fine I can fix it.”

“You think I’m mad because you won’t do the dishes?” I say, crossing my arms.

“Aren’t you?” Patrick asks confused.

“No Patrick, I’m mad because you’re so involved in your own little world, that you miss everything around you! My birthday was three days ago, and you STILL haven’t realized that you forgot it!” I practically yell, simmering with anger.

Shock covers Patricks face as realization dawns on his face, “Oh my god, (Y/N), I’m so sorry”

I shake my head, finally fed up with his obliviousness “You know what, no, Patrick. I’m done, and I’m leaving, so have fun going back to your precious music” I spit out, spinning around and grabbing my purse, stalking towards the door. I hear Patrick protest behind me, but I ignore him, trying to stop the tears pooling in my eyes from falling. I open the door and speed out, making it towards my car. Patrick yells my name and begs me to stay, but I block out his voice as I drive away

*Two Days Later*

Checking my cell phone as I pull into the driveway, I see three more texts from Patrick. Sighing, I click off my phone and step out of the car.

I guiltily feel relief as I notice that Patrick’s car isn’t in the driveway. The fight started so simple, but months of irritation and the fall out of the fight has left me far angrier with Patrick than I ever have been before. And while I want to work it out more than anything, I’m also not ready to face him. I walk up and unlock the door, and open it quietly, just in case. On the entrance table lies a vase of pink roses, a framed picture of Patrick and I, and an envelope with my name written on the front.

Slowly, I pick it up and open it, walking over and settling into an arm chair to read it. Unfolding the paper, I recognize Patrick’s handwriting.

Dear (Y/N),

    You’re right- about everything. I’ve been so deeply involved in my music for the last month, I’ve increasingly ignored other parts of my life, especially you. Music is incredibly important to me, it’s true, and you’ve always known that. But it’s also not an excuse for my behavior. Truthfully, if I had to give up the music world completely to stay by your side, I would do it in a heartbeat. Music is my passion, but you are the love of my life, my savior, and my soulmate, and  the most important thing in my life. I love you so incredibly much, and I know you love me too, which means my treatment of you these past weeks must have been so incredibly painful for you, and forgetting your birthday is inexcusable. I’ve hurt you so much in the past month, and I’m sorry. If I could take away the pain I’ve caused, I would. Unfortunately, I know that’s not possible, so all I’m asking for is your forgiveness, and a second chance. If you can’t do that, I will be devastated losing you, but I will understand. But know that if you do forgive me, I will spend every day of the rest of our lives treating you with the love and respect you deserve.

                    I love you endlessly,


I wipe away a stray tear as I read the final words of his letter, before gently folding it up and slipping it back into the envelope. I sit for a few seconds, unsure what to do. Glancing around the room, I decide to take advantage of the emptiness and head into the music room. I push open to door to discover the typical mess that Patrick leaves when working, and glance over the stack of paper and writings that are scattered around. An oddly organized stack catches my eye. A sticky note on top of the stack reads “For (Y/N)”. Curious, I pull off the sticky note and scan the first sheet of music. The writing at the top tells me the name of the song, The Melody of My Life. I skim the song, tearing up as I read the lines. The chorus reads “Her words are a harmony, her voice is a melody, the melody of my life”

“Do you like it?” I hear Patrick say. Spinning around I see Patrick standing nervously in the doorway. We stand in silence for a few seconds, and Patrick nervously rearranges his hair as he waits for me to talk.

“I love it, Trick” I say quietly, smiling at him. Relief floods Patricks face as he hears me. I cross the room quickly and pull Patrick into a hug. He immediately pulls me into him, holding me like he never wants to let go.

“I’m so so sorry, (Y/N)” he whispers.

I pull away and link my hands behind his neck, “It’s okay Patrick, I probably just overreacted”

“No you didn’t, you had every right to be angry with me,and I deserved everything you said. I just hope you can forgive me.”

“I can, but on one condition” I say with a smirk

“Oh yea, and what is that?” Patrick asks.

“Sing this song for me? At least 5 times?” I respond hopefully.

“Challenge accepted” Patrick agrees with a laugh.