but forgivness and understanding is the most important thing

but really I don’t see enough people talking about how luke skywalker defies so many aspects of toxic masculinity and is a prime example of how kindness and compassion can be so powerful. he literally defeats darth vader by asserting again and again that vader is his father, that he doesn’t want to hurt him, that it’s not too late for him. this boy is facing death and yet he finds it in himself to understand and empathize with the man trying to kill him. he saves himself- and ultimately vader- by being forgiving, and compassionate, and kind. luke gets shitted on for being “whiny” when in reality he’s one of the few male protagonists I’ve ever seen act emotional and openly and unashamedly express his affection/feelings for others. it’s just so important to me that people realize that luke skywalker, perhaps the most iconic character to emerge over the past hundred years, is a hero BECAUSE he is kind, because he isn’t afraid to care about others, because he feels things deeply and is ultimately guided by his extraordinary heart.

anonymous asked:

Zutarians act like Katara's romance with Aang is to the detriment of her character but somehow one with Zuko wouldn't just put her in nurturing position for an older man. I am not for Kataang but I don't think any of the show's characters would NOT put Katara in the position of a nurturer and giver. She gives too much as it is. Except perhaps Toph but Toph is twelve, confused and has parental issues. What I'm trying to ask is what does Katara gain from Zutara except acceptance.

What Katara Would Gain from Zutara

[Edited to add “Bato of the Water Tribe”! Thanks, @ adifferentcupofzutara!]

Katara would gain a partner who would help her with household duties without being asked:

Rather than someone who leaves the chores to her while he shows off for his fangirls.

Katara: Watching you show off for a bunch of girls does not sound like fun.
Aαng: Well, neither does carrying your basket.

She would gain a partner who shares parental responsibilities …

Katara: Aαng, don’t walk away from this.


Zuko: Let him go. He needs time to sort it out by himself.

And acts like a father:

Zuko: Keep in mind, these are dual swords. Two halves of a single weapon. Don’t think of them as separate, because they’re not. They’re just two different parts of the same whole.

Rather than someone who IS a parental responsibility …

And acts like her son.

Katara: What do you think, Aαng? Do I act like a mom?
Aαng: Well, I…
Katara: Stop rubbing your eye and speak clearly when you talk!

Katara: My goodness! That doesn’t sound like our Kuzon.

Katara: I’ve been training Aαng for a while now. He really responds well to a positive teaching experience. Lots of encouragement and praise. Kind words. If he’s doing something wrong, maybe a gentle nudge in the right direction.

She would gain a partner who respects her personal boundaries: 

Katara: What are you doing?!
Zuko: Keeping rocks from crushing you.
Katara: Okay, I’m not crushed. You can get off me now.

Zuko [retracts his arm so Katara can move away from him]: I’ll take that as a thank you.

 Rather than someone who transgresses them.

Katara: Aαng, I’m sorry but right now,  I’m just a little confused.


Katara: I just said that I was confused!

Someone who sees her as an ally:

Zuko: I can handle Azula.
Iroh: Not alone. You’ll need help.
Zuko: You’re right. Katara, how would you like to help me put Azula in her place?

And not a possession.

Actor Zuko: Wait.  I thought you were the Avatar’s girl.

Aαng: [nods] 

Someone who waits for the right time to talk:

Katara: You look terrible. 
Zuko: I waited out here all night.

Rather than pushing her:

Katara: Because we’re in the middle of a war and we have other things to worry about. This isn’t the right time.
Aαng:  Well, when IS the right time?

Someone who understands how much she needs her family to be there …

Katara: Dad.
Hakoda: Hi, Katara.
Katara: How are you here? What is going on?

And puts their needs over his:

Sokka: No, I’m staying. You guys go. You’ve been here long enough.
Suki: I’m not leaving without you, Sokka.
Zuko: I’m staying too.

Rather than someone who disappears when she depends on him …


Katara: He left.
Hakoda: What?
Katara: Aαng. He just took his glider and disappeared. He has this ridiculous notion that he has to save the world alone. That it’s all his responsibility.
Hakoda: Maybe that’s his way of being brave.
Katara: It’s not brave. It’s selfish and stupid. We could be helping him. And I know the world needs him, but doesn’t he know how much that we need him too? How could he just leave us behind?

And puts his needs over theirs.

Sokka: This is the map to our father! You had it the whole time!? How could you?

She would not only gain a partner who, unlike her canon love interest, sympathizes with the loss of her mother:

Katara: Well, I just want you to be prepared for what you might see. The Fire Nation is ruthless. They killed my mother and they could have done the same to your people.
Aαng:  Just because no one has seen an airbender doesn’t mean the Fire Nation killed them all. They probably escaped.
Katara: I know it’s hard to accept.
Aαng: You don’t understand, Katara. The only way to get to an airbender temple is on a flying bison, and I doubt the Fire Nation has any flying bison. Right, Appa?

Katara: I don’t?! How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through. Me personally. The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.



Zuko: I’m sorry. That’s something we have in common.

Katara: But, we were too late. When we got there, the man was gone.  And so was she.
Zuko: Your Mother was a brave woman.

Katara:  I know.

But who trusts her to deal with anger and pain in HER way …

Rather than pestering her to do things HIS way.

Aαng: Katara, you sound like Jet.

Aαng: Katara, you do have a choice. Forgiveness. 

Aαng: It’s okay, because I forgive you.  That give you any ideas?

Aαng: Let your anger out and then let it go. Forgive him.

Aαng: You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing. 

Ironically, a partner who understands that some things are more important than romance!

Aαng: Katara is in danger! I have to go.

Guru Pathik: No, Aαng! By choosing attachment, you have locked the chakra! If you leave now you won’t be able to go into the Avatar State at all!

Zuko: Stop! This isn’t about you. This is about the Fire Nation.

But who would still die for her in a heartbeat …

Rather than risk her life (and everyone’s) to retain his moral purity.

Most of all, she would gain someone who sees her for who she is:

Rather than who he wants her to be.

And who doesn’t try to change her to make her better for him.

Weekday Horoscope || Nov. 20-24, 2017☕️


Aries: Is it worth the pain? Ask yourself if it’s worth being honest to yourself and to others. What can you do to make it lighter on yourself and to remove the judgment and fear you have within you.

Taurus: overflowing with compassion. What you give out is also what you receive. Therefore, as you are healing others you are being healed as well. You are needed, yes, but don’t spread yourself too thin. The most that needs to be givin is to oneself sometime.

Gemini: double edged sword. You can either teach others what you know or you can hurt them. It cannot be both. Teaching shouldn’t come with such pain because we do not try to teach calculus to kindergarteners. Just as we do not try to push out information to those we care about if they cannot handle it just yet. Don’t go overboard with your luxuries and be mindful of humility and patience. Be sure to take the edge off and take a break when feeling stressed and pressured.

Cancer: preparation. The time has come for you to love yourself and heal from anything that has hurt you in the past. Find your comfort and reasses your values and priorities. You have people who love you and are there to nurture you. You’re leaving whatever doesn’t serve you positively behind and moving forward with a better understanding of yourself and others around you. Stay fierce.

Leo: are we balanced? You’re in a middle of a transition towards completion. Remember that there are people who love you and support you so that your journey towards enlightenment doesn’t have to be so painful. Everything happens for a reason and the only compition we have is our past selves. You’re becoming a better you everyday. Stay strong and stay proud.

Virgo: freedom. You’re finally taking care of yourself internally and something positive is on the way. You’re realeasing your past energy and anything that isn’t serving your well being. Your emotions are important and is good to nurture it. Staying hopeful and optimistic about the future will bare fruit later on and recognition.

Libra: it’s like magic. You’re able to transform any situation into something that serves positivity right now. You’re able to help others and have things turn in your favor at this time so use your intellect wisely. Also remember to nurture yourself and take a rest when needed. Find your kind of abundance and freedom and surely you can have it. A time of manifestation is upon you. Happy weekdays and safe ventures, dear Libra.

Scorpio: coming into an understanding. You’re able to menifest opportunities by looking within and have a clear picture of yourself therefore everything else around you. Find your passion and work towards it with others that you trust and would ride and die with. Most of all, you are the most important thing in your own projects, take care of yourself.

Sagittarius: the lesson of forgiveness. Letting go isn’t ever easy, but being able to forgive is a challenge. And it’s a time where you’ve overcome those challenges and to pay yourself in the back and say congratulations. Your heart is now pure and able to create anything that you want to put your mind to. What was that thing you always wanted to do? Well, even if you haven’t made your list yet it’s okay. Take it day by day and enjoy this moment until you find what it is you want now.

Capricorn: overcoming the past. Personal freedom is something that we say we have, but it takes courage and faith to get there and that’s something not everyone talks about. Ask yourself what you must do to gain your personal freedom and happiness. What must you overcome to regain your balance of heart and mind.

Aquarius: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You’re at a time of growing spiritually and making choices. Follow your intuition and don’t be afraid and judgmental of yourself. Take a leap of faith and move away from toxic situations and anything that is not positive to you. Love and peace is what matters and remembering that will help you move forward with your intuition and difficult choices if there is any.

Pisces: happiness and completion. There is abundance and appreciation of everything that is around you. You are coming home to love. Whatever that you have been holding onto is manifesting and a purified mind creates fine ideals. Keep your mind clarified and filled with love and wisdom.

anonymous asked:

One of the things that make me really mad/upset is when people are so enraged that Harry named one of his children, Albus Severus.

What makes me sad is that it shows a refusal to engage with one of the most important messages in the series.  Harry’s forgiveness, understanding, respect and acceptance is fundamental to the story, and Albus Severus as a name is predominantly about Harry - and not Albus or Severus.

Severus is a clear depiction of what can happen when you fail to move on from abuse.  He is a damaged man, mired in history, who cannot forgive or forget, who then repeats the cycle of abuse by bullying others.  Harry is a direct contrast to this; he was treated horrifically, but due to several factors, he was able to succeed where Severus failed - and was seemingly able to move past the horrors of his childhood.

Severus had no reason to forgive his bullies, who were seemingly unrepentant even two decades later.  Harry, on the other hand, discovered a wealth of evidence that proved that whilst Severus was a bully and nasty towards him, he’d also secretly been fighting to keep Harry safe from harm - and had dedicated his whole life to doing so.

Importantly, Severus is the resentful character who is shown to be stuck in the past, unable to separate James Potter from his son, unable to forgive or forget.  Severus’ hatred and resentment doesn’t punish James et al, and only ate away at Severus’ own happiness.  You could even argue that this hatred became even more of a punishment, preventing him from creating a positive relationship with Lily’s son, because he saw Harry solely as James’ son.

So, why would we wish that for Harry?  Isn’t it far better that Harry experienced the love and support which enabled him to come to terms with what happened to him at Hogwarts, and led him to a point where he was able to forgive?  Harry being able to reconcile Albus’ and Severus’ actions, and accept and forgive them both, is a sign of strength, contentment and peace.  We should be pleased and appreciative that Harry seems to be equipped to break the cycle of abuse.

When people sigh about Albus Severus’ name, they’re really saying, “Harry, you got it wrong.”  Ironically, in doing so, they’re proving themselves to be less like Harry and more like Severus himself - blinkered and blinded, unable to accept, unable to forgive and unable to move on.

anonymous asked:

may u do 16 and 25 with Sirius black?

Prompt Request - Prompts List
16. “Give me a reason not to turn around and walk away now.”
25. "Shut up and kiss me.”

Character: Sirius Black
Word Count: 220
Disclaimer: Gif isn’t mine, credit to whoever made it

External image

+ + + + +

Give me a reason not to turn around and walk away now,“ you said, your voice eerily quiet as your glare fixated on Sirius’ nervous frame.

“I love you,” Sirius whispered, “Is that a good enough reason? Because truthfully I haven’t been the best boyfriend, I know I haven’t. And there isn’t any real reason why you should stay, but I love you. That’s the only thing I’m sure of anymore - I love you, only you, and you’re the single most important thing in my life.

I’m sorry for everything - I honestly have no idea how I could have possibly treated you in that way. You don’t have to forgive me, and trust when when I say I understand completely if you want to walk away right now. I just want you to know that I’m in love with you. I always have been. And-”

Shut up and kiss me already,” you said, taking a step towards the tall dark haired boy and intertwining your fingers into his.

Sirius wasted no time in crashing his lips against yours, the hand that wasn’t holding yours cupping your cheek softly.

“I love you so much, Y/n. I swear I’ll be a better boyfriend from now on,” Sirius said as he held you close in his arms.

“I love you too Sirius.”

I know it’s been awhile since the last time i showed up here..

and it truly pains me, especially the fact I have quite few messages in my inbox that i didn’t respond to yet and it’s been months.. 

But yea h, i feel it’s kinda a hard time for me you know? I think the ‘spring’ depression got me good this time..Annnnd I’m really far behind with my bachelor’s thesis and final project to get the degree too.. 

I had taken such a long break from art honestly, even tho that’s the most important thing in my life ugh 

I just don’t understand why it’s been so hard for me to draw recently.. I feel it gets a bit better tho. Drew some paintings of two main characters of my animation so yeah.. it’s some step forward i think.. but gotta get my shit together and start working hard on this otherwise i won’t make it on time..

All that being said - I miss you guys. I hope my situation gets better soon. I really miss drawing and posting art here.. And I hope you forgive me for not being active for so long and most importantly for not replying to the asks for so long.. Hope to get to them as fast as I can now tho

Five P.2 - John Shelby

relationship; john x reader.

requested; yes. part one 

word count; 1356.

tags; @shanetoo

authors note; lemme know if you want more.


Lucy looked in-between you and John, her eyebrows furrowed as she desperately tried to find out what the connection was. She was only five but she was clever and worked things out within moments. Her eyes widened as she smiled - the same toothy-grin that she shared with her father. All you could do was stand frozen in your place, afraid to turn around and meet the face that you loved so dearly. John coughed awkwardly before mumbling some things to his older brothers and the sound of feet leaving could be heard.

Keep reading

Kougyoku’s ideology through the story

[This is the first part of a three pieces analysis inspired by @koukoi1412‘s question (thank you so much for always asking interesting questions <3).]

Kougyoku made her debut appearance as a brave but also ruthless princess. Back in Balbadd arc, she showed one of her defining characteristics: being protective of those she loves (in which case was Judal). However, she also showed a darker side of her: when she was angered she was ready to fight Ugo and Aladdin even without having full knowledge of what happened before she arrived. That’s not something that the older and wiser Empress Kougyoku would do.

Back then, she still aspired to be a Kou warrior. She believed that this was their destiny and she didn’t mind to participate in battles as long as it would serve her country. You could say that she had the typical Kou mentality the most Ren family members share.


Travelling to Sindria was a catalyst in changing Kougyoku’s views as she didn’tt only broaden  her horizon but she also met some people that changed her life for ever. She witnessed first hand how a peaceful country was ran and it was then she decided that she didn’t wish to participate in a war against Sindria (and I think it is implied that she didn’t want  to go to war against any country at all).

Later, during the Second Balbadd arc it was revealed that Kougyoku still naively believed that no one in her family desired conflict and that no war would occur. She also revealed her dream to fight alongside with Alibaba and his friends for world’s peace.

 That’s why when the civil war broke out, it was Kougyoku the one who was shown to be the most uncomfortable about it.

Kougyoku’s general ideology was already shaped before the time skip. She wanted to live a peaceful life and when she became the Empress she lead a peaceful country. However the years she spend ruling made her wiser and the Kou Trading arc served to boost her confidence (mostly thanks to Alibaba’s encouraging words). That’s why Kougyoku at the end of that arc was able to step away  from her brothers’ shadow and start leading her country as she envisioned it. Koumei played a catalytic role by acknowledging her efforts as the Empress and by letting her know that it was okay to follow her own dreams. It was something that she needed to hear from one of her older brothers before being able to open her wings and fly.


The first thing she did as a Empress who no longer is chasing after someone else’s shadow was to declare that her country wouldn’t be part of the International Alliance. That was very important because in the progress she also acknowledged the crimes of her country’s (crimes in which she never participated) and announced that her country would atone for its past wrongdoings. She also abolished slavery, highlighting that she was indeed no longer following her brothers’ footsteps.

The second important thing she did was deciding to forgive Sinbad for manipulating her. I think that becoming a ruler herself made her being able to understand his perspective better (even if it’s not justified) and also the fact that both she and the former King of Sindria ultimately desired peace made her easier for her to forgive his wrongdoings and even acknowledge that the current peace was accomplished thanks to him.

 I know this is a sensitive topic within the Kougyoku’s fandom and most fans think he’s undeserving of forgiveness. In my opinion, this sub plot was never about him and what he deserved- it was all about Kougyoku’s development. By forgiving the very person who harmed her, she no longer holds negative feelings in her heart and she’s able to move forward easier (well, it also fits magi’s ultimate theme of forgiveness but that’s another topic).

On the final battle, she’s able to accomplish her dream of fighting next to Alibaba and his friends. She fights for world’s peace, the most important aspect of her ideology.

gemcuttlefish replied to your post “ok i think the last time i asked you about this you ignored it, and…”

Here are the specifics, then; getting done up by one’s sisters and emotional as a child is big a stereotype. Accidentally feminine and therefore unchanged name is a stereotype. The focus on her utilizing the magic of the trident to change her body is upsetting. The antagonistic/transphobic force being an inanimate object isnt all that representative of actual phenomena. The epiphany scene with Flounder left me deeply uncomfortable; how would he know? That’s not exactly

“how it works, really. honestly most of this is forgivable except for the use of magic to attain a cis body thing. it wasn’t quite so bad with caneaus, because hed already had ways of dealing with it abd it was not exactly quite so narratively important but uh, i dunno! it’s just extremely uncomfortable in the ariel story not much can be done now that wouldn’t entirely change that fic but if you ever do a rewrite or something with similiar themes id consider, like, idk,“


“ Accidentally feminine and therefore unchanged name is a stereotype.” It was less “accidentally feminine” and more “purposefully feminine because the queen was meant to have seven daughters so she chose a traditionally girl’s name” (to all the people who mentioned that ariel is gender neutral, thanks! but in the story it’s more of a girls name 100% because i didn’t know it was gender neutral when i wrote it). however that’s something i’ll keep in mind for the future. Thanks for telling me.

“The focus on her utilizing the magic of the trident to change her body is upsetting.” Why? They don’t have science, but they do have magic. She can’t exactly receive hormone therapy to change her body, so she focuses on magic.

“The antagonistic/transphobic force being an inanimate object isnt all that representative of actual phenomena.” Yes, you’re completely correct. It isn’t. It wasn’t intended to be. 

“The epiphany scene with Flounder left me deeply uncomfortable; how would he know? That’s not exactly how it works, really.” I mean he didn’t know before her. Ariel knew she was a girl years before telling flounder. Why does that make you uncomfortable? I feel like I’m missing a piece here. Is it the idea that someone knew her body/gender than her? Is it the pressure to come out when she wasn’t ready for it? Please be more specific if possible.

“honestly most of this is forgivable except for the use of magic to attain a cis body thing. it wasn’t quite so bad with caneaus, because hed already had ways of dealing with it abd it was not exactly quite so narratively important but uh, i dunno! it’s just extremely uncomfortable in the ariel story” i am very confused. there are hundred of gender alignment surgeries performed each year in us alone. ariel doesn’t have access to a surgeon, but she does have access to magic.  i understand that not all trans people want to completely physically transition, for many reasons, but why is wrong for ariel to want to?

thanks for typing all those out!

How do I care for a ChiRe baby?

This is for all the new carers out there, or anyone needing some helpful hints on how to care for your ChiRe!

(Please keep in mind I am referring to the ChiRe to be cared for as “your” ChiRe to simply say you are the one caring for them, not in any way, shape or form that you personally own them, as they are their own individual and there is ABSOLUTELY no power exchange here in the ChiRe community🌟.)

Section 1 

  • So first thing’s first; what is your ChiRe like? How old do they regress to? What do they like to do when they regress(draw, prance around, play with toys, etc.)? 
  • You should know these things about your ChiRe before you start to care for them. The most important thing is to talk to your ChiRe outside of regression and know what they expect, what’s comfy for them, and other important information such as their regression age. If your ChiRe is always regressed, which I know some are, do your best at talking to them, nicely, and let them show you what they like. It’s likely that if a ChiRe trusts you enough to allow you to be their carer, then they will comply and tell you exactly how to care for them!
  • So, I understand that all regressors and carers alike are all different people, and not everyone can follow a step-by-step rulebook on what to do.
  • However, there’s very important guidelines that you as a carer, have the responsibility of knowing how to do.
  • Carers have different roles in a ChiRe baby’s life. Some may take on a parental role, some may be the ChiRe’s datemate but care for them when they regress, some may be the ChiRe’s best friend, family member, or platonic relationship. Whatever the means, you as a carer are responsible for that ChiRe you agree to care for.
  • So that in mind, it’s okay for you as a carer to have your doubts and your own needs. But, you have to be understanding that your ChiRe has certain needs that also must be met. A ChiRe can regress and with the promise of a carer, expect you to put them to bed, brush their teeth, and other simple things of that nature. But if you don’t do those things, and a ChiRe expects you to, here’s where a serious problem begins to unfold. If you’re not able to be there for your ChiRe, something must be worked out between you and said ChiRe that’ll make it so something seriously wrong does not begin growing. Your ChiRe could fall into depression, feeling as though they are being neglected, they could lack to take care of themselves as they are not being guided by their carer, and lack of self-care could lead to illness, eating disorders(if the ChiRe needs you to remind them to eat/fix them a meal), and so forth- I mean, you see where this is going, of course.
  • You might also be caring for a ChiRe with a mental illness. This is especially important, (not to say that all ChiRe’s aren’t important, because they are!), however most mentally ill ChiRe’s require lots of extra special needs, that you must be willing to adhere to. If you agree to care for this ChiRe, you need to understand that this ChiRe is very, very tender and likely depends on you, and that isn’t your or their fault. It can be a good thing for the both of you if you understand what your ChiRe needs and you are okay with this. Make sure you talk to your ChiRe, as stated before. If you fail to be there for your ChiRe and you allowed them to depend on you, very serious things could happen to that ChiRe.
  • No one would ever wish these harsh things on the person they love and care for, Other solutions may be- having more than one carer for that ChiRe, setting up alarms for that ChiRe, or, in some cases, the ChiRe can not be regressed while you are away. Whatever works for you and your ChiRe is how it should be- and remember, it’s always best to communicate and tell each other what you need from one another. Caring for someone else is an important and a serious matter, please do not take it lightly, in the end you could hurt someone very small, and end up hurting yourself too.
  • So, are you ready to care for a ChiRe? If you think you are not able to, it’s okay. Gently let that ChiRe know that you aren’t stable enough to care for anyone else. Ultimately, you need to put yourself first before you take on the role of caring for someone else- you must care for yourself! But if you are ready, feel free to read on.

Section 2 

  • So now we know that you are able to care for a ChiRe- great! I’m already super proud of you for taking on such a unique and important role in someone’s precious life. Now, it’s up to you to make this a good experience for yourself and for your ChiRe! I’m sure, depending on the ChiRe, that they will help you through all of this- so please don’t think you are all alone. Your ChiRe loves and trusts you, and will likely understand your mistakes and help you to fix them. And please know it’s okay to make mistakes. However, if you make a mistake, don’t give up on your ChiRe- they love you, and I’m almost positive they forgive you and WILL help you! 
  • So now what? You’re ready to be a carer, you know your ChiRe and what they need, you feel confident and excited! Well I’m so glad for you, welcome to being a carer!
  • One of the most important things you have to do is wait for your ChiRe to be ready and how much they’d prefer you help them at first. Maybe they want you to watch how they regress first, and let themselves warm up to you. Or maybe they’re shy and need your help regressing in front of you. Whatever the case, it’s time to put in your best effort. If you are figuring out exactly what to do while watching your ChiRe regress, it could actually help to take notes, as silly as it sounds, it may come in handy in the future. 
  • You should plan a schedule for yourself to keep things from cluttering and clashing. Plan a time that your ChiRe agrees on when they should eat, play, nap if needed, spend certain amounts of time doing things they need, take their medicine if needed, when they should brush their teeth, get ready for bed, and sleep! Of course, you need to make sure your ChiRe is comfortable with you setting up a specific schedule. Some ChiRe’s might prefer to keep their normal schedule, one you might have to conform to! 
  • When everything’s all set, you can ease into starting the schedule and helping them to regress. It’ll feel funny at first, but you’ll soon start to see it is an honor to care for someone and very rewarding. (Hey, you might even get super cute drawings to put on the fridge!) 
  • You’ll have lots of fun with your new ChiRe! 

Section 3

  • Aside from all the good times you and your ChiRe baby are going to have, there will be harder days for you, and especially for your ChiRe.
  • Suddenly your ChiRe is upset. You can’t tell if it’s at you or something else. Perhaps the ChiRe baby won’t speak to you, is crying, or worse- having a panic attack.
  • I know this moment can be SUPER scary- and it may be hard for you to keep your own composure. But please, be patient. It can be a very tough life for someone who is regressed, and possibly mentally ill. The best thing you can do is be there for your ChiRe. This will allow them to trust you even more by showing them you will not leave them when they need you most. 
  • But first and foremost, you must know if your ChiRe baby wants to be alone or truly needs your help. Still, whatever the case, you still need to be there for them. Even if they prefer to be alone, you’d still might want to remind them that you’re there- don’t spam them- but make sure they know you care.
  • If you are with them in real life, and your ChiRe is comfortable with this, pull them into your arms and tell them you are there. Those are some of the most comforting words a baby who’s sad could ever hear. Shush them, tell them it’s okay, rub their back if they are okay with that. Let them know that you’ve got them.
  • If you aren’t with your ChiRe in real life, you can still do just as much to be there for them. Perhaps in a Skype call, or messaging them constantly to tell them it’ll be okay. 
  • Try offering them their favorite toy, snack, or stuffie (or if online, telling them to get their favorite toy/snack/stuffie and asking them to show it to you and explain it to you), offering to take them to play somewhere, play a fun online game with them, or even watch a movie with them of their choice! 
  • Maybe they need a relaxing bath with bubbles or a nice dinner, or even a nap. 
  • Whatever you do to help them, please don’t leave your ChiRe alone. They need your care in this, and just as much as they’ll brighten up your days- they need you for their darker days, too. 
  • These times are always hard, but all bad things will soon pass and hopefully quicker with your help. Just remember, everyone has their own healing pace, but it always helps to have someone there who loves and cares for you. 
  • Now things start to get tricky when it’s you that’s having the rough day and not the ChiRe baby. You may be sick, or something happened and you’re really sad and you might not be able to care for your ChiRe all that well. Believe me, it could and most likely will happen- everybody has off days.
  • The best thing you can do is understand you’re still responsible for your ChiRe, and you have to communicate your problems to them so they can understand and help you to the best of their ability. It’s a 50/50 effort, and even ChiRe babies must know that their carer can’t handle too much all at once.
  • The worst thing you can do is pretend nothing’s wrong. Bottling things up is never good and neither is keeping something important from your ChiRe, who may be a very, very important person in your life. Communication is always key! Your ChiRe will understand. They may even be able to help you while regressing. They might bring a smile to your face by making silly faces, sending silly messages, drawing you a picture, and so on. 
  • But remember it’s okay to have a bad day; for both sides. Always be there for one another, and everything should be okay.

Section 4

  • Eating. Meals are always tough, but if your ChiRe requires your help, it’s best to know the diet they are on and how to maintain it. 
  • Your ChiRe may not eat meat, or may eat too much of it- it’s time, if they are comfy with it, to help them adjust their diet if needed. Everyone should have at least 3 meals a day. If your ChiRe needs that help, sort out some meals for the next few days and keep them on a good schedule(one you can maintain as well as your own, of course.)
  • Make sure your ChiRe gets enough protein and enough veggies and all the vitamins they need. Don’t force them to eat, but don’t let them not eat either. It’s very important for them to get all the nutrients they need to grow!
  • If you’re with them in real life, it might be a good thing to prepare their meals for them, as well as making them happy while doing it- like nuggets shaped as dinos, mac and cheese and sprinkle brownies for dessert! You don’t want your ChiRe baby to get sick so make sure they eat as healthy as possible. Even if they don’t like veggies, make sure to sneak some in their meals as much as possible! 
  • If you’re not with them in real life, send them gentle reminders of what they should eat, how to make it if they need help, and guide them along. Maybe have the two of you eating around the same time! 
  • If your ChiRe baby is vegan/vegetarian, try preparing them some veggie nuggets, veggie burgers, or other meals they may like and make sure they eat lots of fruit and veggies and take all their vitamins. Have them drink a milk alternative or juice. But most importantly for everyone, is make sure they have WATER!
  • Lots of people don’t stay hydrated especially babies who can’t really care for themselves when regressed. It’s always a good idea to make sure your ChiRe baby has AT LEAST 11 cups of water a day- I know that sounds like a lot, but it’s VERY important! Encourage your ChiRe that water will help them grow strong and keep them feeling good!
  • Make sure you get the right amount of nutrients you need as well!! 

Section 5

  • Keeping your ChiRe baby entertained can be easy or hard depending on if you’re busy or not. This is why schedules are always important.
  • ChiRe’s have lots of different things they like to do, especially when regressed. You have to make time for them to play, color, and learn. You should always be able to do these things with your ChiRe. However, if you have things to do like a job or schoolwork, giving your ChiRe certain things to do while you are away may be super helpful. 
  • You could give your ChiRe some online games to play, some things to color or paint, or make sure they have a friend over or someone else to help keep them busy. While you’re with them, however, you should always try to spend time with them and keep them company- after all, you are their carer.
  • This part of the post won’t be very extensive, because I am not entirely sure what every single individual ChiRe is like! They all want to do different things, and it may also depend on the age they regress to. So of course, talk with your ChiRe about what they may like to do! 

Section 6

  • You should always make sure you have some time with your ChiRe. Not spending time with your ChiRe is very bad, as you already know I’m sure- it can lead to super bad feelings on both sides!
  • So make sure you always spend consecutive time with your ChiRe- help them to read, count, have them color for you, watch movies, play games, and all sorts of other stuff you and your ChiRe like to do together!
  • And if you think you’re limited because you’re online, that’s not true! Try video calling or voice calling, using sites like Rabb.it to watch stuff together, send each other pictures, and if you really like to, roleplay!
  • Roleplay can help with distance because you could say: Okay, time to brush! *picks you up and takes you to the bathroom to brush your teeth.*
  • Lots of people are familiar with this and it may seem silly, but it’s really helpful! It adds more to your words rather than simply saying “Okay, time to brush!”. It feels a lot more real and comforting, which is super duper important to someone who needs to be taken care of. However, it’s not a neccessity if you or your ChiRe don’t like it- it’s simply helpful for some!
  • Your ChiRe should be one of the most important things in your life, so please, treat them like they are a priority. Leaving them entirely out of your life and life decisions is not good, and can be very damaging. Remember that you are taking care of someone. That is someone’s whole life, please be a good experience for them, and for yourself.
  • Bed time- bed time is very important to me personally and is one of the most important times you can spend with your ChiRe baby. How they enter dreamland is so important and something every carer should be able to help their ChiRe baby with. Always make sure you read them a story, tuck them in with a kiss on the forehead, make sure they’re super comfy and snuggle them! It’s always the best time putting your ChiRe to bed! 
  • If you’re with your ChiRe in real life, take them to a park and push them on the swing, take them shopping, or somewhere fun where they can play and be themself and still have time with you! Spend some good time with your ChiRe, and please don’t leave them all alone! 

Let me know if I need anything else here, I can always add to this! But I truly hope this is helpful to some! 

As always, be safe and happy, and thank you for reading!~ 

anonymous asked:

Your post about breakfasts is pretty surreal to me since normal breakfasts for me consist of either an egg, a fruit, or nothing. Is it really normal to have such big breakfasts in Germany?

Yes, it’s normal. My family has this kind of breakfast with great varieties of Wurst und Käse, Marmelade usw. every day. Of course there will also be people who don’t have breakfast at all, maybe for lack of time or appetite early in the morning, some might only have extended breakfasts like this on weekends and just crunch on some toast on the go or a Brezel from the corner bakery. But yes, all in all, Germans like a proper breakfast with CHOICES. :) (And the only warm things on the table usually are boiled egg and coffee, unless it’s like Sunday brunch, another animal altogether and even more choices, haha.) Our grandmas told us that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. This blog’s breakfast tag: http://willkommen-in-germany.tumblr.com/search/breakfast

So if you see grumpy, whiny German tourists in your country in the morning, whining about the (white) bread and lack of breakfast choices, please forgive us and understand our utter despair. 😇(I’ve been to 30+ countries now and many had delicious breakfasts but no one goes crazy with bread, rolls and toppings like we do… except maybe the Americans with their diner-style hot breakfasts.)

anonymous asked:

Can you write a fic about ss interacting after the final battle?

Thanks for the request, Anon! Here’s my take on it.

He could feel his last bit of strength diminishing, his consciousness beginning to waver. They had been laying like this for what felt like hours, hopelessly unable to move any part of their bodies. The pungent smell of their blood pooling between them was the only sense that Sasuke could recognize anymore. There wasn’t much time for him left, he knew that much. This isn’t the end he deserved, next to his best friend, the person who forced him to see the light. He was grateful to pass with his senses brought back to him.

He isn’t aware of another presence until he feels the comforting flow of chakra up through his arm, to his shoulder. Almost immediately, he begins to regain feeling throughout his body. It’s incredibly painful at first, but the pain begins to subside as the soothing energy works it’s way through his gravest injury. He had been healed many times before, but had never felt such sense of comfort and ease during the process. He glances over to see pink hair and a stoic face, glimmering eyes downcast on her work. To his side, he hears Naruto’s words of gratitude towards her.

“Thank you, Sakura-chan.”

Naruto needed this more than he did, it was he who would finish the job and undo the Infinite Tsukuyomi. There was no need for Sakura to waste her energy on a lost cause. He musters up the energy to let her know.

“Sakura…never mind me.”

“Stay quiet for now. I need to focus,” was the sharp reply.

She hadn’t been so commanding or harsh towards him before this, but he supposed that she was fed up, and rightfully so. Still, she continued to breathe life back into him. She was always so kind, so forgiving, so understanding. When she didn’t remove her hand from his arm, he understood that she’d always find a place in her heart to forgive him, even without an apology. He had been forgiven by two of the most important people to him, and nothing made him feel more remorseful.

“I’m sorry…”

“Sorry? For what?” she asks him, keeping her eyes focused on her work. She was purposefully avoiding his gaze. Deep down, she’d forgiven him, but there was still anger. Did he really know what he’d put them through?

“For everything up until now…”

If he’d begun to list all of the things he was sorry for, he’d be talking until he was dead. He was sorry for all of it, for hurting her in ways that no one else could even think of. His regret weighed on him now like heavy stones piled on his chest. When he sees her pants darkening with spots of tears after a pause, his heart begins to break. She had changed in so many ways, but she was still the same girl with the same big heart. A girl he didn’t deserve.

“You should be…really…idiot,” she cries, her voice breaking with a mixture of relief and heartache. He was. He felt that he’d do anything to prove it, though someone like Sakura would never make him do such a thing.

She appeared to be at her own limits, as her green chakra began to slowly diminish. She gave them almost everything she had left to revitalize them.

Sakura takes them by their remaining hands, pulling them up gently. She begins to wipe her tears away as Naruto uses his newly gained energy to begin talking to her animatedly. Her smile shone through her tears, and Sasuke couldn’t help his own lips from lifting a bit. She was one to always smile through the pain, but he sincerely hoped she wouldn’t have to do that anymore.

anonymous asked:

Hi Monica. I live in a small town in a very socially conservative part of the country. Consequently dressing in women's clothing requires shopping on line. However I would love to know whether some clothes or shoes fit prior to ordering them. Were you or are you hesitant to shop in public? If not how did you overcome your initial nervousness? I love your websites and find them inspiring.

HI - great questions, and ones I have a lot of experience with and thoughts about.  

For starters, understand the key differences between typical male and female measurements.  Isabella De Carrington has some excellent insights on her blog (see https://isabelladecarrington.tumblr.com/post/161862558886/decarrington-dressing-guide-part-one  and some of her other entries). 

First, the most important thing is knowing your key measurements:  hips, waist, ‘bust’ (basically from armpit to armpit), and shoulder to shoulder.  If you’re in doubt about an item of clothing, ask the seller for those measurements.  Stretchable fabrics will be more ‘forgiving’ than non-stretch ones, and sometimes you can do minor alterations to make clothes fit you.  

I was initially very hesitant to shop for my clothes, but overcame my stage fright by doing it a lot.  Still, I look around the store to make sure there’s no one I know, and I’m still hesitant to buy things like makeup unless I can go through the ‘self checkout’ lines at some stores.  But for clothing, I figure if a woman can shop for men’s clothing and no one bats an eye, then why can’t I shop in the women’s section?  

Also, women have had to overcome a lot of discrimination and repression over the years, and break out of stereotypical roles.  So having achieved a good amount of freedom and liberation, why would they want to put restrictions on me doing something as innocent as buying women’s clothing?  If they do have problems with it, then they’re being hypocrites.  Interestingly, I’ve only had a few times where a woman said something negative or sarcastic to me, or gave me that ‘funny look.’  But I laughed to myself because they were shopping in the XL & Plus section, while I glided around in the small & medium sections.  ;  )

Bottom line is, it’s no crime to buy the kind of clothes you want to wear.  As Eddie Izzard wrote, ‘They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.’   

anonymous asked:

I apologize if I've offended you. It wasn't intended to come across as apologism, but rather redeeming oneself for past wrongs. In times such as these, I want to believe that even the worst people are capable of redemption, if they choose to seek it. I thought to ask your opinion on the idea, because I respect you. I won't ask you questions of such nature again.



I have a particularly charged history with forgiveness/redemption in a trauma context, and I’m very opinionated on it, so it tends to make me defensive faster than most other things. You might get a better understanding of my views by checking under my ‘forgiveness’ tag [x] 

I do think the conversation is important, though, if you’re inquiring in earnest about my views. In short, I believe these things:

  • Forgiveness must be earned through not only ceasing any abusive behavior but also through active action to help those previously hurt however possible

  • Only the people traumatized by an act of violation, a system of oppression, or an atrocity can determine if the oppressor has earned forgiveness. Forgiveness requires the survivor to survive, and it requires the survivors’ full consent and autonomy to decide that forgiveness is earned based on their own judgement. 

  • No survivor is ever obligated to forgive an abuser or oppressor, no matter how much they have done to cease abusive behavior or help the survivor afterwards. Any external pressure from bystanders put on survivors to forgive abusers is abuse apologism. 

Also these can be of use to survivors and oppressed peoples to determine actual change vs superficial change 

Self care looks different at different times. Each day, self care can take a different form. There hasn’t been a “self care is ACTUALLY…” post yet that I can’t relate to, depending on how I’m feeling, but one thing holds true:

Self care is hard

I’m writing this on a bad day, a day when maybe self care looks like just… staying in, because I don’t have the spoons to go out, and spending hours trying to forgive myself for that. Self care isn’t glamorous today, it’s not a bath or a mug of tea, it’s lukewarm leftovers and beer. Self care is doing the bare minimum, and it’s still so fucking hard.

Maybe today, I eat. Maybe I drink a beer and stay sober and maybe I don’t get trashed and maybe I don’t relapse and maybe, today, that’s self care: eating and staying sober.

Maybe tomorrow I relapse, or the next day, or maybe I never relapse ever again. Maybe tomorrow, eating and staying sober come easy to me. Maybe tomorrow, self care looks lie a mug of tea and a calming bath, and maybe tomorrow I’ll spend several hours trying to forgive myself for needing that extra ~frilly~ self care. Maybe one of these days, self care will take the form of cleaning my house, because I can’t deal with how much I hate myself anymore and at the bare minimum, I can clean so I’ll stop being such a fucking trashy waste of space, or maybe I’ll try to forgive myself for not cleaning, or maybe I’ll realize halfway through my bath that I never checked the mail, or maybe… or maybe…

That’s it. That’s my life. That’s the big neurodivergent secret: it doesn’t actually matter what your self care looks like, but it matters that you let yourself have some, and it matters that it’s not easy and you do it anyway.

Self care is hard, it’s difficult, it’s taxing, it’s frustrating, and if you can care for yourself easily, then you might not understand why such tiny little gestures are upheld as the most important thing you do all day. But for those of us who can’t take them for granted, trust me when I say: they are very, very important. And the fact that we know they’re tiny gestures makes them all that much harder, because the shame of knowing I can’t do any better is devastating.

anyway...

Some of y’all are so ignorant its startling, shocking and downright sad!

You accuse of us not understanding Octanakin’s arc because we are unwilling to use her understandable childhood and current trauma as an excuse for her behavior. Because we are unwilling to forgive and forget her sins when she gets her (inevitable and most likely undeserved) redemption arc. But you need to understand something, you need to understand why it’s important to stop excusing Octanakin’s arc:

Y’all keep excusing Octanakin’s actions because “she loves Bellamy” and “people say/do nasty things to their siblings all the time!” Let’s clarify:

Octanakin didn’t just say or do nasty things to Bellamy. She beat him bloody (only stopping because she was tired) and then later informed him that if he weren’t her brother, he would be dead. If this is “people saying/doing nasty things to their siblings” I need to know what kind of fucked up relationship y’all have with your family members. 

Octanakin physically abuses literally everyone she cares for (Lincoln, Bellamy, Indra and now Ilian) and to boil this down to just her actions against Bellamy means you miss a lot of her other, inexcusable actions. 

Also, your abuser loving you? Means not a goddamn thing. Lots of abusers and their victims excuse the abusers actions because “They love me!!! They didn’t mean it!!”

Lots of abusers “love” their victims and it is absolutely understandable when abuse victims love their abusers, but we teach people that it’s OK to walk away from people who hurt them and that includes the people we love. 

Love can be toxic, and some of the most toxic relationships are within families because lots of people believe they have to be OK with things their family members do to them because they’re family. 

The excuses bother me so much, because a lot of the people who are making these excuses for Octanakin are older women who lots of younger fandom members look to as fandom moms (even if that’s not the intent) and so to see you all saying that “She still loves him….people say nasty things” about the Blake siblings relationship is so bothersome to me because young people in abusive familial relationships need to know that this isn’t OK and in providing all of these excuses for Octanakin you all are saying that it is.

Recognize that in excusing fiction you are literally creating excuses for real life abusers and their victims. 

When you are in a relationship you are always learning something. Sometimes it’s a pleasurable learning, sometimes don`t. But If I could name the most important thing that I ever learned about relationships I would say that it was the understanding ( and acceptance ) that nobody is perfect. No matter how hard you search, the perfect guy/girl does not exist. The good news is, maybe this can be the secret to a truly happy relationship.

When you accept how imperfect people are (including yourself) you tend to be more understanding, since you will know that mistakes are a natural part of an imperfect human. From this understating, comes forgiveness. By forgiving, you achieve humility… and so on.

Another important thing is that you are always learning something new. Humans are unique, so you’ll always find new challenges to deal with at new relationships. It’s important to open your mind to your partner and never judge him by a previous one.

And, of course, the most important thing that everybody must learn about relationships: love yourself first.

558

Idk man, this whole thing with Red Queen’s got me thinking about character more than ever.

We’re always talking about how character is the most important aspect of a story. Characters drive the narrative. But do we really absorb this at all? Do we understand what it is we’re saying?

How many less-than-stellar stories have you stuck with because of the characters? How much have you been willing to forgive because of the characters? How many times have you said, “Yeah, that show/book series is kind of awful, but the characters!”

You could have the coolest story world ever, but it doesn’t mean crap if your characters suck. Heck, you could have the most cliche, overdone story world, and no one would care if the characters are awesome.

Think about this, y'all. Get it tattooed on your bodies. Your characters are everything. EVERYTHING. Make them stand out.

Please Let Me Explain - Part 2/3

A/N: HERE IT IS PART 2! The final part will be up later today, or tomorrow. Thanks for the support given for my fanfics from all of you guys! I really do appreciate it and it means a lot. Also, this starts off in Dan’s POV of the  situation, just so you guys can know what was going on in his mind during the whole thing!

Warning: Swearing as per usual

Word Count: 1,121


Dan’s POV

I was sitting on the couch, waiting for Y/N to arrive at my flat. We planned to hang out today, and she had a stressful day at work so I wanted to help her out.

“Dan, can I talk to you for a moment?” My flatmate Phil asks, walking into the living room.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Do you have feelings for Y/N?” Phil sits down on the sofa next to me, and looks me straight in the eyes.

“Um no…” That was a lie. I actually do but I just…I have no chance with her so the best thing to do is hide it.

“Dan don’t lie to me, I can see it in the way you look at her.”  

“Phil, I promise you I do not ‘like’ Y/N” I stand up to leave the room but Phil stops me. 

“Dan why can’t you just accept that you have feelings for her!” Phil’s voice is getting louder, he probably had all this pent up rage about the whole situation. 

“I’m not lying to you Phil." 

"Dan just tell me the truth, do you have feelings for Y/N?” Phil’s yelling now, maybe I should tell him the truth? No…it’s too risky. I take a long pause to think of my answer, and decide to go with what my mind is telling me. 

“I’ve told you this many times before Phil, I don’t like Y/N, and I never will!” I yell back, he’s getting on my last nerve. 

“Dan” Phil lowers his voice, and walks up to me worried 

“Fine Phil. I like Y/N. Hell she is the most beautiful, amazing, funny person I’ve ever known and I’m scared that I’m going to fuck that up like I do everything else.” I go quiet again, and stare at the ground. But then I hear something at the door, and my heart stops. “Fuck” I mutter. 

“What?” Phil is now quiet again, and he walks up to me worried. 

“I think that’s Y/N.”

“Dan”

I walk over to the door slowly, oh god please don’t be her. I open the door and see Y/N standing there, her head down with tears dripping down her face. Of course I fucked this up. I felt the world crashing all around me, it hurt me so much seeing Y/N standing there crying. Was it because she heard everything or the stressful day at work. Play it cool Dan, act like nothing happened. 

“Oh hey Y/N” I say. “Oh fuck what happened are you okay?” I go to hug her but she instantly pushes me away and says she needs to go. 

“Shit Y/N please don’t tell me you heard all of that.” Oh god, she was crying because of me.  

“Yeah I should really go, I-um- yeah” Y/N turns around and starts walking down the stairs, stop her you fucking twat. I grab her wrist and try to explain to her what happened. 

“Y/N I didn’t mean anything I said I promise. Phil helped me out. Please just listen to me, I need you” I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I say the last part. How could I hurt someone so sweet, and beautiful? 

“I need to go, I’m sorry” Y/N take off running down the stairs. Fuck you fucked this up so badly, you idiot! I punch the wall, not hard enough to break it obviously, but hard enough to hurt myself.  

“Fuck fuck fuck.” I mumble walking back into my flat.

“What happened?” Phil comes running up to me, and I look him in the eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks. “Oh no it was Y/N, wasn’t it?” I nod my head and break down crying in front of Phil. 

“I fucked it up Phil. I fucked up the thing that was most important to me and now she’s gone!”

“Dan, Y/N obviously really cares about you. If you explain to her what happened maybe she’ll understand and forgive you. You can fix this.” Phil comforts me, he always knows what to say to give me motivation. 

“I can fix this.” I run off to my room to figure out a plan. I may or may have not tried to text Y/N a few times, I needed to see if she was alright. I feel like such an ass for doing this to her.  

After about an hour of trying to figure out what to do, I decide to just go with what my heart tells me, instead of my mind. My mind kept saying “Don’t go for it, you twat she won’t forgive you. Hell, she probably doesn’t want to be with you.” but my heart was saying the exact opposite. I walk up to Y/N’s flat and knock on the door.

~Time skip to where it left off in the first part~

Your POV

“Y/N please let me explain.” Dan says. Oh god he looks so hurt. Look what you’ve done you hurt him so much, just let him explain! 

“Alright fine.” You say as you cross your arms. 

“Um, where do I start? Oh! So Phil came up to me earlier today and asked if I had feelings for you, and I kept denying it." 

"Thanks makes me feel a lot better, can you go now?” Your heart is shattering into billions of pieces, why can’t he get the hint? 

“No I’m not finished. I kept denying it because I was scared. I was scared that you would feel nothing for me back and you would be the one to break my heart. I mean, have you seen yourself? How could a guy like me get someone as amazing as you?” Your heart flutters as he continues confession. “But I realized the best thing to do was just go for it and Phil showed me that. But then you ended up hearing all the bad parts of the conversation, and I ended up hurting the person who I care about most. I’m so sorry for everything that I’ve done. I don’t expect you to come running into my arms and I definitely understand if you don’t even want to talk to me.” He shrugs at the last part. 

Your mind is racing with thoughts. Some saying “TAKE HIM BACK” and others saying “No he’ll just end up hurting you again”. You don’t know what to do. You stand there in shock staring at Dan.  

“Its fine, I understand.” Dan forces a smile and starts to walk away from your flat. You were in so much shock you couldn’t move or talk. You stood there watching Dan’s body become smaller as he walks farther away. 

Now look what you’ve done. You are now the one who hurt him.