but for you tyler it was worth it

This post is to anyone who actually reads what i post, this post is to anyone who has stumbled upon my blog, this post is to the people who have messaged me and make me smile, this post is to everyone. 

You are special. 

You are kind.

You are important. 

You are worth it.

You are meant to be here.

You are beautiful in every way

And i know you’re probably like, “Who are you to say all this? You don’t know me?” And you know what? 

You’re right. I don’t know you.

 But let me tell you something, Let me tell you what i know. You get on Tumblr and you reblog stuff that makes people happy, you answer asks to people who are feeling a little under the weather, you give advice to the ones who are struggling to hang on, you do so much more than you think you do. You are kind. 

You are loving. 

You are funny.

You have a purpose.

You may hate your face or you hair, you may hate you height thinking that you’re too tall or too short, you may have your weight, you may hate your smile and how it never seems to fit your face. Its okay to dislike parts of your body. But please please dear friend understand that our flaws make us the hottest, beautifulest people around. I hate so many things about myself and i am trying my hardest everyday to see beauty. Its a process everyone. A process. 

So i challenge you for everyday to look in the mirror and smile. Look at yourself and smile. Compliment yourself, take a bomb selfie, do whatever you can to realize your worth. You are worth it.

Maybe you hate your personality. Maybe you hate your inner demons. Maybe you’re struggling just to hang on. Listen, I am here for you. I will help you the best i can, you will get through whatever you’re struggling with. YOU. ARE. STRONG. 

So please, i am here. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I am here. If you need a friend, i am so here (Lol i need a friend too). If you need some good dan and phil gifs or pics, i so got you covered. 

Listen, I love all of you. i hope you know you’re loved. 

“Time Goddess” - Digital Oil Painting

This was last month’s big art project, Rose as the Bad Wolf Time Goddess! Saw this gown and knew it was meant to be worn by Rose Tyler. This is a very large file, so you can zoom in a lot before it starts getting pixelated. I hope you like it, it was a lot of work!

If you enjoy my art, please consider subscribing to my Patreon! I am saving to buy a wheelchair.

The more you focus your life on trying to improve other people’s lives - being others-minded, I guess is what I would call it… Instead of constantly having this internal conversation with yourself, like ‘How do I improve myself? How do I get better? What’s right for me?’, and a lot of times that mindset is okay, it’s positive, you’re supposed to think of yourself as worth it… But the more that you focus on other people around you, the more you become okay with yourself.
Eh, TVD 8x03 {Spoilers}

OK! So before I watched this, there were people in my inbox so I already knew the big reveal because y’all don’t put spoiler warnings in your comments! LOL it’s cool though I actually don’t care. You know the drill, I write my thoughts in real time, which means that if there’s any mistakes at the beginning of the review I may correct them by the end. This review will include: anti-Damon sentiments, anti-Delena sentiments, anti-Steroline sentiments, anti-Bamon sentiments, anti-Bonenzo sentiments, mentions of misogynoir and anti-blackness, references to other television shows If you do not like it, do not read. You ready? Let’s go.

1. I like how they show a flashback of Elena nearly drowning as a way to fuck with Damon’s head but they can’t give us the flashback of Stefan saving her life. I don’t care if you don’t ship SE I don’t care if you’re SC or DE af, Stelena was a fundamental part, the fundamental part of season 1 and their erasure from a season meant to go back to season 1 is transparent and actually just badly written.

2. What is Sybil’s accent though? And she’s entirely non-diabolical.

3. They have yet to even clue us in why Sybil can’t take random men on the street, why it has to be Damon and Enzo.

4. It’s actually really cute to see Bonnie and Caroline be FRIENDS, I mean it doesn’t pass the Bechdel test of course because TVD.

5. Yo, Paul looks good in that jacket in Ric’s house though.

6. I love how it’s become such a big deal that Sybil has mind control. “We’re dealing with something that has the power of mind control” SCARY MUSIC. Right because vampires compelling people was just ….

7. LOL HOW DID DAMON EVEN KNOW WHERE THEY WERE?

8. “Poor Bon Bon, literally always the bridesmaid never the bride” no one can tell me that the show doesn’t make a meal and has an enjoyment in pointing out how unwanted Bonnie has been or how lonely she’ll always be, no one. And when it comes to Damon attacking her, they always make a meal out of that too whether it’s emotional taunting or just slow pain, it’s ridiculous.

9. Both of them beating the shit out of Damon gave me life though, I actually did get 1x12 vibes. “We can just kill him.” “I’ll help.” This is the kind of friendship bonding I like.

10. Sybil’s dialogue is fucking ridiculous.

11. So Damon gets all the flashbacks then. Cool.

12. As an anon pointed out, it makes no sense why Bonnie isn’t trying to find her magic to combat Sybil or help Enzo.

13. OK this Sybil and Bonnie scene though.First of all Sybil asking Bonnie if she ever slept with Damon is exactly like when Katherine asked Caroline if she and Stefan ever hooked up, I’m sure BD fans caught that, the rest of it though is tacky because it feels like Julie Plec having a dialogue with said BD fans pointing out all the reasons why they would be together but aren’t. “You can’t spell Damon without Damn” is probably the worst piece of dialogue ever.

14. Who wrote this? This is terribly written.

15. Damon describing Sybil’s hold over him is literally describing compulsion.

16. Caroline, see what happens when you open your mouth.

17. So Sybil is Rebekah and the Salvatore Mansion is the library and instead of Elena, Caroline and Stefan talking about SE and DE it’s Caroline and Bonnie talking about Damon and Enzo.

18. OK so Sybil is also Klaus who has to “Siren” obedience like how Klaus had to Sire hybrids.

19. OK so Sybil is Klaus again making Bonnie choose between Enzo and Damon like Klaus going, “So Elena, Jenna or Stefan?” Or she’s No Humanity Caroline who essentially did the same thing with Matt and Tyler. ‘Bout the most sadistic game imaginable, writers you’ve recycled this at least three times.

20. There is A LOT OF talking.

21. STOP LOOKING AT THE PHONE.

22. THERE IS SO MUCH TALKING.

23. Omg just snap Damon’s neck, Stefan.

24. So. Much. Talking. WE GET IT THEY’RE GOING TO HELL. LIKE SHUT UP.

25. Yo I’m not feeling any tension that Enzo and Damon have to fight each other I kind of want them to demolish one another. They won’t but a girl can dream.

26. Caroline vamp-speed over there, jfc.

27. This fight to the death is hella weak man, no one’s arm is twisted in odd angles, no one is bleeding profusely.

28. Damon’s surprise that Bonnie didn’t choose him is actually hilarious.

29. Sybil is legitimately Klaus.

30. THIS IS TERRIBLE DIALOGUE. I know I keep saying it but OMG.

31. This BE scene is supposed to be heartbreaking but I just think back to Stelena.

32. “Bonnie, I’m going to count down from 10 and then I’m going to let Damon finish what he started.” Like the clock Klaus put on Stefan biting Elena? LOL OK TVD.

33. Intern, who is with the kids?

34. Yeah, Stefan looks good this epi.

35. “But I hated it.” Did you really, Stefan? It just seems like it was mildly inconvenient for you. Also total rip off of, “I hated that fight.”

36. Oh fuck off Ric, if you brought Damon back before there has to be a way to bring him back again, nah Damon should’ve DONE graduated to not needing so much fucking hand holding.

37. “I’ve never seen him like this”, Stefan, we’ve ONLY seen Damon like this.

38. If Sybil’s plan is to raise the devil then she’ll just be Ruby from Supernatural.

39. I thought Tyler’s death would be more impactful but nah he dies giving Damon a speech about how he needs to be better, why the hell would Tyler even care about Damon? He was like the ONE person who didn’t. Totally OOC.

Final thoughts; This episode was awful but like awful in a way where I have things to talk about and not like last Friday’s where I was just at a loss for anything to say because I was so bored.

Tyler Joseph Imagine Pt. 1

TYLER’S POV

*present time*

Tyler was slouched on the couch watching reruns on TV, when he got the text message that would inevitably ruin his entire Christmas.

Correction. Tyler was slouched on the couch watching reruns on TV, when he got the text message that would inevitably ruin his entire life.

He glanced up to look at his phone laying on the coffee table, and saw that the text was from his brother, Jay.  He decided it was worth answering. He scooted forward before reaching out to grab hold of it.

“Just heard from mom. She’ll probably call you soon. Change of Christmas plans, Zack and Tatum are flying in after all, which means Madison and Will changed their minds too.  Get together at home, gonna be all of us this year!”

Tyler smiles to himself, excited to hear about his entire family being together for the holidays for the first time in so long.  

An additional text came in as he read the first.

We all can’t wait to meet Y/N ;)

Tyler swallowed and read over the last text again before tossing his phone away from him, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Shit,” he mutters to himself, running his hands over his face. Fuck fuck fuck. He was completely fucked.

His phone lit up once more from it’s new place on the floor. This time it was his mother calling, so he bent over to retrieve it with a sigh.

“Hello?” He answers dully.  Tyler only half listens to his mom as she filled him in on the new Christmas plans with more detail.  She’s so excited about everyone being able to make it home, and Tyler makes low humming sounds to make it appear like he’s paying attention, all the while internally freaking out over the fact that his family wanted to meet his girlfriend. His fake girlfriend. Who he’d been lying to his family about for months.

He was so, so fucked.

*three months prior*

It wasn’t the best idea Tyler’s ever had, but he was desperate and impulsive.  He’d been home all of one hour and his family was already driving him crazy.  When Madison wrapped her arm’s around Will and asked why Tyler was single for the millionth time that day, he thought he was going to lose his mind.  

“Listen Ty,” she says. It was broad daylight in the suburbs of Columbus. His mom sat in a lawn chair reading a book and Tyler, Jay, Madison, and Will were all absentmindedly shooting hoops.  “I know you’ve said you want us to lay off on the whole girlfriend thing, but Sarah has a new roommate and she’s so—”

“No,” Tyler cuts her off as soon as he could tell where this conversation was going.

“Tyler,” Madison whines, passing him the ball. “C’mon, we’re just trying to do what’s best for you. You haven’t dated anyone in so long. Mom’s really worried that you’re getting depressed.”

Tyler rolls his eyes. He wasn’t the fucking 40 year-old-virgin.  He has just turned twenty-eight for Christ’s sake, and he was fine being by himself. He finally had a job that he enjoyed and he lived in a nice apartment in the city.  He was on top of the world.  He didn’t need a girlfriend.  

He knew his family though, and they wouldn’t be satisfied until he was in a happy, committed relationship with someone, ready to settle down with a nice girl, have two kids, and a white picket fence.  He scoffed at the thought.

“Actually,” he said to Madison, a light bulb suddenly going off in his head. “You don’t have to worry. I’ve uh- I’ve kind of met someone.  Started seeing someone, I mean.”

Jay grabs the basketball away from Tyler’s chest, “No way!” he says in disbelief.

Tyler frowns at his initial reaction, but nods, quite pleased with himself for coming up with this one.  It’s not like his family would ever have to know either way.  After this weekend he’d head home and this would get them off his back throughout the upcoming holidays.  And then all could be forgotten. Flawless. Foolproof.  Clever as all hell.

“What’s her name?” Madison asks, tilting her head to the side with a smirk. She clearly didn’t believe him in the slightest.

Tyler didn’t think that far.

“Um,” he hesitated, eyes darting across the street where he saw their neighbor walking the dog.  

“Y/N,” he says, the same name as the neighbor.  

“Really?” Madison says.

Tyler nods again, brain working fast.  He thinks of the only other person he knew with that name and blurts out “Y/L/N.”

Hey, if he was going to have a fake girlfriend it might as well be someone he knew. That way he wouldn’t have to keep making stuff up, he could be truthful.

“And she’s real?” Madison asks, skeptical.

“Of course she’s real,” Tyler says, crossing his arms over his chest.  He was getting annoyed now. Why was it so hard for his family to believe that he could actually be dating someone? Honestly, fuck them for thinking he would be forever single. 

Madison nods and while still seeming suspicious, she didn’t press the issue any longer.  Instead, she starts asking questions about her, and Tyler finds himself telling this elaborate story about himself and Y/N like it’s actually real.  He was convincing, if he did say so himself.

Neither Madison or Jay could even tell from his stories that Tyler and Y/N actually hated each other.

*six months prior*

It all started with a parking space.

No. Actually, it all started with Y/N being an entitled, self-centered, brat. But for the sake of Tyler’s sanity, it started with a parking space.

Tyler was new in town.  After living in the suburbs of Columbus his entire life, at twenty seven, he decided it was time for a change.  He took a job in Chicago as a marketing consultant.

It was July and Tyler had been in town for forty eight minutes. After grabbing a bagel at a shop down the road, Tyler, with the help of Josh, was ready to move into his new apartment.

“I can’t believe how far away you’re going to be,” Josh whines.  

“I know, man,” Tyler says. “We can still see each other on weekends though, it’s drive-able.”

Josh nods somberly.

“Or you could look for a job here,” Tyler suggests.  He’d been thinking it for a while.  I mean, how cool would it be to share an apartment with his best friend in the city?

Josh just shrugs, “Not much for a guy like me out here,” Josh chuckles.

“A guy like you? What are you even talking about?”  

“How many mills do you see?” he shakes his head laughing, “Not all of us have that fancy education, Joseph.”

Tyler sighs as he pulls into the parking lot of his apartment.  The lot is completely full and Tyler looks around baffled, “Fuck, where are we gonna park?” he says.  

“There—“ Josh says, pointing to the sole open spot.

But just as Tyler turns his blinker on, a car comes out of nowhere and fills up the spot.

Tyler stares in disbelief, “What the hell!”

He rolls his window down as he sees the driver getting out.

“Excuse me!” he calls.

The driver looks up and meets Tyler’s eyes.  She runs her fingers through her hair before slamming her door and walking over.  

“What?” she asks.

“You’re uh- in my spot,” Tyler says simply, trying to keep a pleasant look on his face.  “I was going to park there.”

“They’re not reserved,” she says, already sounding annoyed.

“Well I know they’re not reserved, but I had my blinker on, you see—”

“Oh you had your blinker on!” she gasps, then she pretends to think intently, “Wait… I still don’t care.”

Tyler’s taken aback by her sarcasm, but tries to remain polite.  “I’m moving in, is all— I have all these heavy boxes, I really can’t park out back.”

“Well, I work at the art shop down the road and they just gave me a new painting,” she says, crossing her arms in front of her chest, “and it’s really bulky and heavy and I can’t park out back either.”

“Okay, you have one painting- but I have like ten boxes,” Tyler says, growing equally annoyed.

She huffs, a strand of her hair lifting and then falling back down on her face, “Not my problem.”

“What a warm welcoming,” Tyler sneers, glaring at her from the front seat.

She rolls her eyes, “This is Chicago, not Mayberry or wherever the hell you’re from.  Not everyone brings gift baskets to your front door when you move in.”

Josh snorts from the front seat and Tyler has to throw him a death glare for him to stop.

“Sorry-“ he says.

But by the time Tyler’s looking back, she’s already heading back to her car.  Tyler watches as she takes the painting out from her backseat before closing the door.

Tyler groans, “Can you believe that—“ he snarls before throwing his car back in gear and heading out back of the apartment.  

The lot in the back is practically abandoned.  But Tyler’s eyes light up when he sees a back entrance door that him and Josh might be able to get into.  He checks, and to his dismay, it’s locked.  

“Get her to open it,” Josh says, pointing up towards the window.

When Tyler looks, he sees the same girl climbing the stairs through the window.

“Hey!” they both call in unison.  They start waiving their arms and catch her attention.

She looks out the glass.

“Can you open this door?” Tyler yells and points, hoping she can understand.

Instead, she smirks sweetly before waving and walking off.

“Are you kidding me?” Tyler says angrily.

“Man—“ Josh laughs, “She really doesn’t like you…”

*present time*

“I’m screwed,” Tyler announced, dramatically collapsing onto the couch in front of Josh on Saturday night.

He’d woken up in a good mood after sleeping in, until he remembered his conversation with Jay the night before, and then his mood plummeted right into the floor. Madison called him around lunchtime to discuss Christmas, and he lied through his teeth, saying he couldn’t wait for them to meet Y/N.

After they hung up, he worked himself into a panic for the remainder of the afternoon and evening until Josh was knocking at the front door.

“You look alive to me,” Josh said, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and turning to the tap to fill it.

“I’m going to die,” Tyler corrected. He didn’t have time for technicalities.  

Josh ignored him, chugging down his water.

“Do you even care that I’m dying?” he asked loudly.

Josh rolled his eyes, but obliged him. “Why are you dying, Tyler?” He asked the question slowly, in the kind of tone one would use to talk to a very small, negligent, child.

“I don’t appreciate your tone, Josh,” Tyler said, “Ask me nicely.”

Josh cocks his head to the side and Tyler figures that’s as good as he’s going to get.

“I need Y/N to be my pretend girlfriend for Christmas,” Tyler announces.

“Uh,” Josh nearly drops his glass on the floor. “What?”

Tyler sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, and then decided to just go for it and tell Josh everything.

Josh listens, wide-eyed the entire time.

“Wait,” he says after a moment. “I thought you hated her.”

“I do hate her,” Tyler agrees, pleased that his hatred for Y/N was well known.

Josh shakes his head, “This city’s making you crazy, man.

Tyler ignored him and buried his face in the pillow on the couch. “I’m so screwed, Josh. Tell me what to do. Christmas is in eight days. ” He would be home in five.

“Uh, tell the truth?” Josh says. “You shouldn’t be lying to your family.”

Tyler was about to scoff and say something stupid about Josh not knowing anything when he speaks again.

“Or,” Josh says, leaning forward on the counter, “You could just ask her to pretend to be your girlfriend. She’s staying here for the holidays. Told me just now in the hallway on my way up when I asked if she had plans.”

Tyler stares, wide-eyed. “That is a fucking terrible idea.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to ask,” Josh finally says after he has time to stare at Tyler for a bit.

Tyler wanted to argue, because it absolutely could hurt to ask, but he decided to just leave it for now.

“What were you doing talking to her in the hallway anyway?” Tyler then asks, offended.  Betrayed.

“She’s not that bad, man,” Josh says, shaking his head. 

*six months prior*

On the same day that Tyler found out Y/N lived in his building, he found out she lived next door.   After hoisting ten boxes up two flights of stairs, Tyler huffed his way down the hallway for the final time that day.  Just as he was approaching his door, the one next to it jiggled and then opened.

It was her.

She’d cleaned up a bit, changed her clothes and put on some makeup.  Tyler would have noticed how beautiful she was if he wasn’t so busy glaring.  

She looks over at him after locking her door shut.

“You got a little sweat—“ she says, pointing towards his dripping forehead and smiling innocently.

He wipes it hastily before flinging his door open.  He wanted to scream.  

The night that Tyler decided that he really hated Y/N, was also the night he met Mark and Michael. It was a few weeks later and Josh was visiting since he had a long weekend.  Y/N was having a party. A really loud party. And it was driving Tyler crazy.

“It’s not that bad—“ Josh argues.  “You’re just pissed cause it’s her.”

“The walls are practically shaking!” Tyler yells in frustration.  

“Maybe we should go join, sounds like fun—“

Tyler rolls his eyes before grabbing his coat.

“Where are you going?” Josh asks.

“I forgot my charger in the car,” Tyler lies.  He really just needed some air.

He exits the apartment and heads outside.  He sits on the steps for a bit, drumming his fingers against his knees and inhaling the fresh air.

Finally, it got cold, and Tyler realized that he’d been outside well over the amount of time it takes to get a charger, so he heads back in, deciding to take the elevator up.

“Hold it!” someone calls.

Tyler sticks his hand in the door and holds open the door for two guys jogging his way.

“Thanks,” one says, “you heading to the party?” he asks.

Tyler looks his way and shakes his head, “Oh no, not me.”

“You live in the building then?”

Tyler nods, “Yeah.”

“I’m Mark-“ he holds out his hand.

Tyler takes it and smiles, he was surprised Y/N hung out with such polite people.

“Michael,” the other one introduces.

“So you guys are friends with Y/N?”

Michael nods. “Yeah, we go way back. You know her?”

Tyler shakes his head. “Just moved here a month ago. We aren’t friends. Just neighbors. I live next door.”

“Oh,” Mark says, eyes lighting up. “You’re Tyler! ”

Tyler gives them a questioning look… he didn’t know what that was supposed to mean, but he was wary about Y/N clearly talking about him with her friends.  

“Yeah,” he says.

“If you aren’t doing anything, you should come up,” Mark tells him as the doors open. “We’ll introduce you to some people since you’re still new in town, get your feet wet.”

Tyler wanted to do absolutely nothing that involved spending time with Y/N, but he liked the idea of hanging out with Mark and Michael. They seemed nice.

He shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Y/N won’t mind,” Michael assured him. “She probably won’t even notice. She wasn’t even around when I left. And plus, I need a beer pong partner.”

“Yeah, okay,” he agrees, “But I have a friend over, can he come?”

“Course!” Mark says smiling.  “Come on over whenever.”

So, despite his better judgement, Tyler peaks his head in his apartment.  “Josh!” he calls.

Josh emerges from the living room and gives Tyler a weird look. “What?”

“Let’s go.”

They entered the apartment to dim lights and loud music. Tyler found that the apartment’s layout looked almost exactly like his, except unlike Tyler’s boring, dull apartment, Y/N had decorated with art all over the walls. He recognized the painting from the first day they met.  

Mark and Michael shook Josh’s hand before introducing them around to a few people as they made their way to the kitchen, where a game of beer pong was just beginning.  They stood off to the side and watched as Y/N and her partner, a guy with dark black hair and an accent, shouted in triumph as the guy tossed the ball into the first cup of the opposing team.

Y/N was wearing a black top and skinny jeans, but before Tyler could study her features, she was locking eyes with him.

“Tyler!”

A clearly inebriated Y/N, stumbled over to him with a drink in her hand.

“What are you doing here?” She slurred, holding onto Mark to keep balance. “Did I invite you? I remember thinking I probably should, but I don’t think I actually did it.”

“I invited him, Y/N,” Mark interrupts, while Tyler stared at Y/N in amusement. She was swaying and smiling and maybe— just maybe, she wasn’t so bad when drunk.  But that amusement was short lived,  because Y/N’s face turned an odd shade of green and she abruptly bent over and threw up all over Tyler’s shoes.

He lost it.

“Are you kidding me?!” he shouts.  Of course.

Y/N groans and hung her head in shame, mumbling some form of an apology. Michael grabs hold of her and lugs her staggering body to the couch.

“Um,” Mark smirked. “When I said you should get your feet wet, this isn’t what I had in mind.”

*present time*

Tyler waits another day before he finally decides to ask Y/N to be his pretend girlfriend.  

She was standing behind the counter when Tyler walked into the art shop, the little bell rings above the door. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail and she wore a white blouse, humming along to the Christmas music playing quietly.

“Oh,” she says, looking up as the bell rings.

Tyler freezes in his spot, feeling so shy all of a sudden.  She’s got paint on her cheek, and Tyler knew she sold art, but he didn’t know she made it too.  He wonders what she’s been painting.  

“Hi,” she then says cautiously, like he was worried Tyler was about to start yelling or something.

“Hey,” Tyler tried to smile. “I need a present for my mom-“ he lies, suddenly needing an excuse to be here. 

“Oh,” she repeats.  “Um-“

“She likes art.”

“Right, um, well we have that here,” she wipes her hands on her apron before standing up from behind the counter.  She walks over the wall to Tyler’s right and starts showcasing.

“This one’s really cool cause of the brush patterns.  He blends the colors really well—“

Tyler finds himself staring at her instead of the art hanging on the wall.

How is he just noticing that sparkle in her eyes?  Or the scattered freckles on the bridge of her nose?

Y/N continues to lead Tyler throughout the gallery, showing him paintings and drawings, clay art and sculptures. But Tyler’s just mesmerized by how much she knows about each piece, giving him a spiel about each one.  It’s amazing.  

“Did you like any of them?” she asks finally.

Tyler’s taken aback, but nods.  “Yeah I liked the impressionist one.”

“You know it’s six hundred dollars, right?” she asks, her voice a whisper.

Tyler’s eyes widen and she laughs out loud at his shock.

“For that?” he asks in disbelief.

“It’s an original!” she says, offended.

“It’s scribbles on a piece of paper!” he says, laughing harder.

“Maybe to you!”

“Okay, okay, what is it to you then?” he asks, trying to make his voice more serious.

She bites her lip in concentration for a moment, like she’s thinking deeply, before answering, “Art is communication. Communication with an open end, so who ever sees it can feel it in their own unique way. It’s not a ‘yes or no’ answer. There are no wrong answers. It’s up to interpretation.”

“Okay, okay.” Tyler then smirks, “I’m still not paying six hundred bucks for it though.”

She laughs loudly, “Fair enough.”

Tyler takes a deep breath then and decides just to dive right in.

“Look, I have a really weird favor to ask,” he says, scratching the back of his neck.

She nods for him to continue.

“You’re going to think I’m crazy,” Tyler shakes his head at himself, chuckling.  He couldn’t believe he was about to do this. “But long story short, my family wouldn’t stop nagging me about getting a girlfriend, so I kind of told them that I’m seeing someone when I was home a few months ago.”

She continued to look at him blankly, like she didn’t know why Tyler was telling her this. To be fair, Tyler didn’t know why he was telling her this either.

“The thing is…” Tyler exhaled sharply. “I don’t actually have a girlfriend, so I made one up.” He started pulling at the hang nail on his thumb. “Well, I didn’t really make up a person.  I told them I’m dating you.”

Y/N’s eyebrows shot up at that, and Tyler bit his lip awkwardly. “And now I have to go home for the holiday’s and they want to meet my girlfriend, and basically I’m totally screwed.”

“You lied to your family about having a girlfriend… and my name was the first one you thought of?”

“My neighbor has the same name, okay?“ Tyler couldn’t believe he was stooping this low. "Forget it. I’m sorry I even thought about bringing you into this.”

She snorted then. “What? Did you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend or something?”

Tyler grimaced at her words and she abruptly stopped laughing then, the whole situation dawning on her face. “Wait—are you serious?“

"Just forget it,” Tyler waved his hand dismissively, “It was stupid of me to even consider asking you to play along.  Thanks for showing me the art,” he turns to walk away then.

“I’ll do it,” she says nonchalantly, as she walked back behind the counter, where her painting was.

Tyler can’t be hearing her correctly.

"Really?” He was almost scared to double check, worried she was shitting him “… Why? ”

She bit his lip and raised her eyebrows casually, “Why not?”

Tyler could think of a thousand reasons why not, but he kept his mouth shut.

“Wow,” he said. “Alright.  Well, thanks, thank you. You’re saving my butt here.”

“Sure,” She smiles. She really did have a nice smile. Kind of crooked, only one dimple.  “What do I have to do?”

“Um—“ Tyler hadn’t really thought that far ahead.  But he goes with it, “Well, I have to go home to Columbus in four days.  So you’d come with me.  It’ll be like a holiday really.  And you just have to meet my family, pretend you can actually tolerate me, and then we come home a week later.”

“Okay,” She says simply, the door bell rings and an elderly couple walks in, “We can talk more about it later then?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Tyler nods, then he remembered they didn’t have a way of contacting each other. “Do you need my number?”

She shakes her head. “I know where you live, remember,” she says, winking at him.  Tyler’s stomach betrays him and fills with butterflies.  

8

8x01 “Hello Brother”
8x02 “Today Will Be Different”
8x03 “You Decided That I Was Worth Saving”
8x04 “An Eternity Of Misery”

a message of thanks

throughout this entire election process, from literally day one, i have kept track of everything. i have watched the polls, i watched every single debate, i voted in the primaries, i participated in rallies, i did everything that i could 

but there were a few people that truly helped keep me informed, motivated, and inspired to do all that i could to create real change, and i want to personally thank them. 

the first person i want to thank is Hillary Clinton herself. She represented what was right in this world, she represented equality, and peace, and love, and her platform and her campaign helped spread those messages, and despite her loss, what she left behind will never be forgotten and I will not stop fighting for it. 

the second person i want to thank is you guys. for using your voice and for speaking out and for supporting what you believe in, and for never giving up. you are the strongest people i know, i’m so lucky to be surrounded by such positive people, and i want you to know that i am eternally grateful to you guys and i will always stand by your side no matter what. 

and finally, there is one person that has been so present during this election, that has helped keep me informed, and up to date, and the fact that he’s one of my favorite people in the entire world just makes it even better, and i’m sure i’m not alone in that statement, because i’m talking about Tyler Oakley. 

Tyler, i’m sure you’ve seen posts already, whether they’re mine or not (there are many i will admit) but I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, from me to you, thank you. @tyleroakley Thank you for never backing down, for fighting until the very last minute, for using your voice and your platform and your influence to promote only the good in this world, and for doing so in a manner that is not degrading to the other side, that is respectful, that is admirable, that is, in my opinion, heroic. I am ridiculously proud to call myself a fan of yours, and I know for a fact that you will never stop fighting. You deserve the world and more, and I thank you for speaking up for those of us whose voices get lost in the crowd. 

this is not the end. i will not stop fighting. i know you guys won’t stop fighting. we must band together now, fight for what is right, and never stop loving one another. i love you guys like you’re my family, i believe that you should feel safe in your own country, and i know that together, we can beat this. 

because after all, love trumps hate. 

Depression • Josh x Reader

You pulled your knees into your chest as tears ran down your cheeks. Tyler and Josh knew you had depression, but they didn’t know how bad it was. They didn’t know you cut. They didn’t know how hard you cried every night. Tears ran down your cheeks as you scrambled up from your sitting position on the floor to search for a blade. You slipped open the drawer and took out a sharp silver blade. You looked down on it and frowned. Why did you have to do this to make yourself feel worth it? You shook your head as your hair fell down across your shoulders. You held the blade tightly and sliced it against the skin on your wrist. A flowing red stream spilt from the cut. The blood dropped across your hand and onto your desk. Tears streamed down onto your sleeves as you tumbled to the floor in a fit of sobs.

“J-Josh.” You croaked into the phone speaker. You heard his breath hitch and heard Tyler’s concerned voice in the background. “What’s wrong Y/N?” He asked some-what calmly, just making you cry more. “I’ll be right over.” He whispered. “Stay alive for me, darling. I love you more than anything.” He said quietly as you mumbled a quick, “okay.”

You scrambled up and quickly applied pressure to your wrist, making it stop bleeding. You sighed in relief as the scarlet droplets ceased. You heard Josh’s car pull into the driveway. “Y/N?!” Tyler and Josh called simultaneously through the house. Footsteps pounded up the stairs until you were greeted with your worried boyfriend standing in the doorway. He yelped out your name and kneeled next to you, hugging you close to his warm and comforting body. “Shh.. Y/N..” He whispered as Tyler walked in. Tyler sat next to you two and rubbed your back.

Josh held your hand tightly, making sharp pains shoot up your scarred arm. You flinched on instinct, alerting the boys. Josh looked at you with concern in his eyes as he stroked the hem of your sweater sleeve. Tyler rubbed the nape of his neck as Josh gently tugged the sleeve up. Your scars were prominent and blood had started to ooze out of some of the cuts.

Tyler’s breathing hitched and Josh gaped at the wounds. You looked up at them sadly and hung your head shamefully. “No..” Josh murmured and hugged you tightly, nuzzling into your hair. “I-I’m sorry.” You hiccuped as he bit his lip. “Don’t be. Next time, talk to me. I know what you’re going through and I can help, I promise.” He whispered and rubbed your back soothingly.

They both lead you into the bathroom to clean and bandage the cuts. Josh kissed every one of them and kept reassuring you that this was only a thing. A thing you could get past with his and Tyler’s help. He wouldn’t stop saying how much he loved you either.

Tyler and Josh stayed at your house that night, watching movies and playing old board games to pass the time that would’ve been spent crying if it weren’t for them. Tyler eventually left and soon it was just you and Josh. “I love you. You know that right?” He mumbled. You nodded and cuddled into his chest.

Josh started yawning, so you wrapped your arms around him. He snuggled into your hair and whispered he loved you over and over again. “I love you too, Joshie.” You slightly giggled. He smiled that smile that could light up a whole room. When you thought he was asleep, he whispered something you would never again.

“Stay alive for me Y/N.”

Authors Note: this is was requested by anonymous, and it’s not as long as I hoped it would be; but I really like it! I hope you like it, if you don’t feel free to message me! I love feedback!

Showers and Feelings ➸ Brett Talbot

Request: Could you please write a Brett one where the reader’s Liam’s best friend and she naturally doesn’t like Brett but Stiles forces them to stay at home together to watch over someone and they end up doing it in the shower?

IM BAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK i apologize for taking so long anon but here it isss!!!!! not as smutty as it could have been but vvvvvv fluffy

HUGE SHOUT OUT TO ROBERT FOR EDITING FOR ME. THANK YOU V V V V MUCH BB ILY ANGEL THANK YOU CUTIE ILY

Masterlist

Requests

Warnings: LOTS AND LOTS OF ANGST; ALLISON’S DEATH; SMUTTY SMUT SMUT; BRETT SO FLUFFY YOUR HEART MIGHT DIE; FIGHTING READERXBRETT; BLOOD; BEST FRIEND!LIAM; ALPHA!SCOTT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No. Absolutely not!”

Stiles sighs at your stubbornness. “Please Y/N,” the he pleads with you, “Please, we need you to watch him, just this once.”

“Are you kidding me, Stiles?” you growl, E/C eyes flashing blue, “It’s not about that. But you expect me, while you go out looking for this Benefactor, for me to stay home with the giraffe over here and some random ass beta?” Brett growls and bares his canines at your words. You only sneer at him before letting out a challenging snarl. Brett roars in provocation and advances towards you, eyes glowing, teeth bared, claws extended. But you weren’t afraid. You felt your own canines slide over your lip, and then a chick is heard as you reveal your sharpened claws.

“Bring it, Talbot,” you jeer as he let’s out yet another growl. And then he’s rushing at you. A few feet in front of you, Brett leaps in the air and raises a clawed hand to slash at you. You push yourself off the wall behind you and meet him halfway. The two of you crash in midair and fall to the ground. Brett slashes at your face and you go for his throat with your teeth. You roar in pain as the Talbot boy’s claws drag across your face, easily breaking the soft flesh. Blood drips down your face as you catch his wrist in your mouth, biting down so that the bone fractures. He snarls and struggles against your powerful hold. You release him with a howl of pain when his claws dig into your stomach. Writhing out of his grip on the floor, you deliver a two-legged kick to Brett’s chest and the he shoots away from you.

Brett cradles his injured hand and multiple cracks are heard as his body puts his bones back into place. You hiss as you feel your own wound mending and the skin flowing back together. Your fangs have dulled but your eyes remain glowing a steel blue as you get up and face Brett once again. You snarl at him, hatred burning in his own eyes as you stare each other down.

As you raise your hand to rip his throat out, a roar is emitted from Scott. Your Alpha’s eyes are blood red, and his multitude of sharpened canines were showing as he roared. Both you and Brett are thrown back by an invisible force, though it affected you more than he. You’re immediately shifted back to your human form as you hit the wall. Clawing at your ears, you whimper, just the noise made by your Alpha was hurting you. You whimper again, your body being  wracked by tremors from an unknown source. Liam is by your side in less than a second on his knees.

“Scott,” Liam growls, “What did you do?”

“I was being her Alpha.”

Eventually the tremors stop and you get up with only slight discomfort, Liam at your side, shooting you an apologetic glance You narrow your eyes at Brett before turning to Scott and Stiles.

“Y/N,” he sighs, “Please.”

“Fine,” you say with a tone so cold, you scared yourself, “You owe me.”

——

“Y/N?”

“What, Brett?” you respond, exasperated beyond caring.

“I’m sorry.”

What? You turn to the Talbot boy and raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow at him. “Excuse me?”

Brett shifted awkwardly, staring at his feet and rubbing the back of his neck. “I'm… sorry? For, you know, attacking you, and clawing you, and-and ripping your shirt, and um-” he motions to the blood, cuts, and rips that seem to cover your body all too often since you’ve met Scott McCall and Derek Hale. In the 3 years that you’ve known Brett Talbot, you’ve never seen him like this. Awkward, nervous even.

“Wait, wai-wai-wai-wai-wait,” you hold up a hand to stop Brett’s rambling. “Is Brett Talbot, apologizing to me? Wow, what a day! Do you mind if I can just record it?”

“Stop it!” You laugh at Brett’s disbelieving face. “I’m serious, I-I really am sorry.”

Your gaze flickers to the ground as your lips begin to curl into a smile and Brett can’t help as a grin spreads across his face. “You’re forgiven.” The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“Really?” When you nod, a sigh of relief escapes Brett’s mouth. He steps towards you, toned abs showing through the claw marks that you had left in his shirt. Brett takes another step, and against your instincts, you don’t take a step back. Hesitantly, Brett raises his hand, and pauses, before reaching towards your face. He uses his middle and ring finger to brush your hair out of your face. Brett’s ears twitch at the sound out your heartbeat quickening. Ironically, you can hear his own heart racing.

Brett towers over you, tracing a line of blood across your cheek, the skin smooth underneath as you had healed hours ago. He let’s out a breathy laugh through his nose as he continues to stroke your cheek. Your eyes follow his hand, to his wrist, where a braided leather bracelet was tied, up his arm, to the pulled-up sleeve of his long sleeve shirt. Your eyes linger on his shoulder, the muscles bulging, even as he was relaxed, then to his neck, stopping for a moment on his jawline, then to his lips, which were quirked into a trifling smile, and finally to his eyes. His bright green eyes were soft, gazing at you with such tenderness you didn’t think was possible towards you from the Talbot boy.

Your hand lifted and covered Brett’s own on your cheek. Brett cocks his head to the side, and barely, just barely, leans down to close the distance between his lips and your own. Brett leans in a little more and you breathe in sharply as he gazes at your lips, his eyes flickering yellow for just a moment. Brett closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. “You- uh, you should probably go shower,” his hand falls from your face, dragging yours with him. Brett squeezes your hand, “Go, I can watch Bailey until you’re done.”

You nod and allow Brett’s hand to slip from your grasp. Brett can’t help but watch as you leave and begin to climb the stairs. You pause for a moment and for a second, Brett hopes that you might stay, but you turn away from him and make your way up to Scott’s room.

—-

As you open a drawer to grab some of your clothes that are kept at Scott’s house, you grimace at the box of condoms on the shelf. Kira, you thought, before shuddering and digging out an old t-shirt of your brother’s and a pair of sweats, a bra, panties, and socks. You connect your phone to a speaker and place them both on the counter. You had already turned on the water to make sure that it was warm by the time you climbed in.

You sigh in relief as the warm water hits your back. Reaching for the body wash, you lather it over you hand and scrub your body, scrubbing roughly at the blood on your face, your arms, and your sides. You wince as the water turns pink from the blood of your now-healed injuries. You just stand there and watch as the pink water pales until it returns to the normal transparent color. Blindly, you reach for the shampoo, but instead knock into it. You watch it fall to the shower floor.

“Fuck,” you mutter, reaching down to grab the bottle from the tile. Your hands close around it and you bring it up to squeeze some into your hair. You massage your head slowly as the water washes the shampoo away. The conditioner came next, the cream softening your hair under the spray of water. You sigh as you sit down and allow the water to hit your back. You don’t realize how much time has passed as you just sit there and think. You didn’t know why you and Brett hated each other as much as you did. You shouldn’t. Lydia had told you many times that if you hadn’t hated each other as much as you say you did, you would be perfect for each other. Allison used to tell you the same, whenever you complained about the “asshat my parents make me hang out with.”

Allison. She didn’t deserve her death. None of your friends did. Not Erica, not Boyd, not Aiden, but Allison most of all didn’t deserve what happened to her. You can’t help but picture her face as the Oni stabbed her through the stomach. You picture Scott’s face. You picture Argent’s face. But most of all, you can hear your own deafening scream, mixing with Lydia’s until you can’t differentiate between them. A sob escapes your lips as you return to your body. And you remember, Allison has been dead for nigh over a year now. Tears fall from your eyes and mix with the water dripping down your face as memories of Allison run through your head.

The sobs that wracked your body ceased after a little while and eventually you stood, allowing the water to cascade over your whole body. Slowly your brain began to fall into a sort of lull, and nothing went through your head. You just stood there, staring at the tile in front of you. And then you felt a touch to the middle of your back.

Brett.

“Y/N,” he murmurs softly, dragging his fingertips up your back to your bare shoulder. You were numb at this point, you couldn’t feel anything. And Brett knew this; it would happen to his sister sometimes after their parents died. You had lost too many people, and he knew exactly how to coax you out of your stupor. “Y/N,” he whispers into your ear again. “It’s alright, Y/N, you’re alright. I promise.” His breath hits the back of your neck as his tongue traces the shell of your ear. Your eyes slowly begin to focus at the action, finally becoming conscious of the man standing behind you.

“Brett?” you say quietly, “Where’s Bailey?” “Scott called, it’s over.” Brett’s answer was short and curt.

“What are you doing?” you breath as the werewolf wraps his arms around your waist and pulls your back to his chest. “Brett, what-what are you do-” You break off with gasp as Brett’s lips land on your neck.

“I want to show you how sorry I am,” he hums into your skin. His kisses don’t stop as you tilt your head to the side. “I’m sorry.” Brett’s lips brush over your pulse point and you gasp, letting your head fall against the torso of the giant mix between man and wolf standing behind you. “I’m sorry.”

“Brett, you-you’re forgiven,” you stutter as he continues to mouth at the flesh covering your pulse, “I-I said you’re forgiven.” Brett’s dulled fangs graze your skin and you whimper, chest heaving as you struggled to breathe. “Brett. Brett.”

“Yes, darling?”

Your breath hitches at the pet name that fell from his lips. When you don’t answer, Brett lowers his head back to your neck. A moan of his name slips unwillingly from your mouth.

“I just want to make it up to you, darling,” Brett rasps in your ear, “Show you exactly how sorry I am.” A shiver runs down your skin at his words, and you tilt your head even further, if possible. One of his hands snakes down your arm to intertwine your fingers with his. His other hand - oh, his other hand - stays locked around your waist, massaging your hips with the pad of his thumb, rubbing gentle, soothing circles into your skin. “Just relax, darling.”

And you do. Your muscles relax and your head lolls back into Brett’s chest. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear, placing kiss after kiss into your neck. “It’s alright darling, you’re alright,” Brett murmurs, slowly turning you around to face him. One of his hands is still around your waist, while the other rises up slowly to brush your dripping hair out of your face.

And finally - finally - Brett leans in and kisses you. It feels as if it’s in slow motion. He glances at your lips before looking back to your eyes, searching for permission. Your expression says it all. You want this. Him. But just to be clear, you give a slight nod of your head. That’s all Brett needs before attaching your lips together.

His lips are soft and smooth. Gentle. He kisses you as if you’ll break. His thumb caresses your cheek as you respond to his touch. Your own arms come up to wrap around his neck. He’s tall, so much so that you have to pull him down by the neck in order to run your fingers through his hair. Brett moans softly when you tug at his hair. The werewolf pulls you closer to him, if possible, and deepens the kisses, swiping his tongue across your bottom lip, then taking your top lip between his teeth.

“Brett,” comes the soft whimper from your mouth into his own. He hums in response, not once breaking apart from you. Brett gently backs you up into the shower wall, grip still tight around you. You whimper his name again when Brett separates your lips. His tall frame stares down at you with such tenderness and adoration that you can feel the walls you’ve built around your heart begin crumbling. “Brett,” you breathe once more.”

The Talbot boy’s eyes flash yellow at the way to say his name and he’s having a hard time keeping his wolf in check. “I-” he begins, but cuts himself off and starts over, “Are you sure, Y/N? Are you sure you want this? If I start, Y/N, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop. Tell me you want this, Y/N. please, tell me.”

“Brett.” You stand up on the tips of your toes, and you still weren’t tall enough. He bends down slightly to hear your answer. “I want this, Brett,” you breathe against his pink, swollen lips, “I want you.” Brett moans at your words, and drags his fingertips up your sides. Your breath hitches at the action, anticipation for what was to come becoming the only thought in your head.

“Brett, please.”

He doesn’t answer you, only continues his gentle exploration of your body, gentle, absentminded touches memorizing every inch like the lines to his old favorite song. His hands are gentle with you, as if you’re so fragile that you’ll shatter beneath him if he presses too hard.

“Brett.”

Your plea of his name brings him out of his daze. He was so mesmerized by you, it was like he couldn’t live without you. Underneath all the hate filled glares, the snide comments, the arguing; beneath all of that, Brett couldn’t help but be totally, hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with you. Brett finally kisses you again, before sliding his hands back down your waist to cup your thighs. Without faltering in the kiss, he lifts you up and wraps your legs around his waist. He so tall that you squeal for a moment, breaking your lips from his.

“I’m not used to being this far off the ground,” you mumble, blushing embarrassedly. Brett’s lips part before letting out an unattractive snort. Soon he’s full on laughing. “Bretttt,” you whine, it’s not funny.”

“I-It’s just,” he said between chuckles, “you’re so small. It’s so cute.” Brett kisses you again, peppering kisses all over your face, jaw, cheeks, neck, and lips. “God, you’re beautiful,” Brett gushes, “So beautiful.”

You whimper softly at his words and push your hips against his. “Brett, hurry up, God damn it.” Brett complies, finally. He keeps his eyes locked with yours as he guides his length to your entrance.

“I love you,” he breathes as he ever so slowly slips into you. His confession shocks you and you gape at him, before your eyes roll back into your head. He keeps pushing into you and soon he filled you to the hilt.

“Say it!” you gasp out, needing to his hear his confession once more.

I love you,” he repeats, “I love you. All of you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve ever done to you. I’m so sorry. I love you.”

“Brett!” you gasp as he pulls back and slams his hips back into yours. “Brett! I love you too! Oh! My! Go-!” Brett presses his lips to yours fervently, whispering sweet nothings against your mouth.

“I love you,” he whispers again, and it wouldn’t be the last time he said it. Brett drops his head to the crook of your neck, a “you’re so beautiful” falling from his lips and causing you to flush against his body.

The more Brett collides his hips with yours, the harder it becomes for you to control yourself. You grip his shoulder with one hand, while the other tangles into and tugs at his damp hair. The water from the shower head is hitting his back, spraying off of his muscled body and protecting you from the drizzle. You just about fall apart when Brett thrusts up into you at a new angle, hitting a spot inside you you didn’t even know existed.

“Brett!” you nearly scream his name as he repeats his action. Brett continues to place kisses along your neck and jaw, whispering for you to come for him.

“You can do it,” Brett murmurs into your ear, “You can do it darling, come for me. Come all over me. I love you. Come for me.”

And you do. You cry out Brett’s name multiple times as your orgasm hits you, writhing in his strong arms that are still wrapped around your body. Brett groans as you clench around him, and that alone is enough to send him over the edge. Brett’s eyes turn yellow and his fangs protrude from his gums as he sends thick streams of cum into your body. As the two of you come down from your high, he presses his forehead to yours. He laughs breathily against your lips and kisses you gently.

“I love you,” he says once more, “I mean it. I really do. I love you.”

A gentle smile spreads across your face. “I love you too, Brett.

But how are we going to tell Scott we had sex in his shower?”

I got the Chocolate Ending first which is very fitting because Darkiplier will always hold a special place in my heart!

But seriously, Mark, Ethan, Tyler, Amy, Kathryn, Pamela, ALL OF THEM deserve all of the praise for the amazing work they have done. This choose your own adventure was well worth the wait, and I could not be more proud and happy!

I am forever grateful to have @markiplier in my life, and he has truly shown how creative and passionate he is. I love you Mark, keep on keeping on ❤

Every city has such pockets of beauty, stunning little gems that make you pause and stare for a moment. It doesn’t matter what you believe in, seeing hundreds of floating candles on still waters reflecting the sky, is worth a pause and a sliver of awe.
..
First round of #NorthPoleNinjas readings and signings done, more to come this weekend. If you have not yet ordered, check out northpoleninjas.com or bit.ly/NPNinjas We need more kindness and this is a fun place to start.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your story,
Even though it was just for a short time.
Thank you for the times we laughed,
And the times you told me everything.
Thank you for allowing me to be me.
For listening to my stories,
And for always telling me that someone wasn’t worth it.
Thank you for loving me,
Even though you couldn’t admit it.
But most of all,
Thank you for checking up on me,
Every now and again,
Even though we are nothing.
Knowing you still care makes the dark times worth it.
—  B. Nicholson

So I crashed last night after watching funny YouTube videos with Tyler and around like the middle of the night like maybe 4 AM, I feel him wake up, touch my face, and kiss my cheek, and then his head fell back on his pillow and went back asleep.
You guys, find someone that loves you all hours of the day. Don’t settle for anyone else. It won’t be perfect all the time, but it’s not supposed to be. The point is that they make it worth it and you don’t want to be with anyone else. Love them as hard as you can, no matter if it hurts. We don’t have this one life to hold back, we have this one life to do as much as we can.

I just want to thank Twenty One Pilots. People don’t understand how much this band means to me. They’ve saved my life I don’t know how many times, literally. I couldn’t be more appreciative than I am, I am so proud of these boys. Seeing them go from little to taking over the world, watching them win a GRAMMY is crazy. I’ve gained so many friends from them, I couldn’t tell you how many people I’ve met and became really good friends with because of Tyler and Josh. I’m so appreciative that they helped me stay alive and tell me that it’s worth it. Thank you, Tyler and Josh. Thank you.

2

The next song is a song called “Guns for Hands” and it’s probably the hardest one for me to talk about lyrically. Um, cause it has to do with… some pretty heavy issues. You know, it’s a happy sounding song- I like writing happy sounding songs, but then hopefully trying to say something thats worth more than just a happy moment.

At this particular time in my life I had encountered a lot of people who were going through tough times, whether it be suicidal thoughts or depression- You know I always try to preface by saying I’m not a professional in this field; I don’t know exactly what I’m allowed to say or what I should say or whats the most healthy thing to say. I can just speak from what I’ve experienced, what I’ve seen, and what I’ve gone through. And this song is talking about how I think we need to acknowledge the fact that people struggle with these issues, and we need to, we need to… we need to tell them “I get it”.

Like, I know you can hurt yourself. I know that’s an option. I’m not gonna tell you it’s not because I think there’s too many people who hear about their kid going through something and they say “No, don’t think about that, think of something else”. It’s like, no, hold on. Let’s take this energy, this focus, this emotion that you feel that’s obviously negative and let’s try to take it in and move it somewhere else. Let’s aim it at something else.

So I look at art, I look at music and writing and lyrics and a concert. I look at those as moments where people can take the things that they’re struggling with and really kind of unleash them and pour them out onto this thing.

It’s helped me. A lot. And I would never write about something that didn’t prove to help me, cause I would never want to… I would never want to talk about something that I didn’t feel like I knew I was capable of talking about.