but for the jokes sake

What makes them feel uncomfortable and frustrated:

ENFP: They love dreams, possibilities, ideas and alternatives. Trying new things and taking on new projects excites them. Therefore, having someone belittling their ideas can be very disheartening and frustrating for them.

ISFJ: They thrive on routine and knowing what to expect at any given time. They are excellent planners who enjoy knowing how their week is going to unfold. A sudden change in plans without warning is therefore going to make them feel frustrated and uncomfortable.

ESFJ: Trolling. People who make statements or jokes for the sake of getting a reaction, angry or otherwise, can infuriate them. They see this kind of verbal manipulation as just another form of bullying and conflicts with their belief in showing kindness and respect to others. 

ENTJ: People trying to control them or telling them what to do. They are fiercely independent and like to be leaders and free thinkers. Usually they make better bosses than employees.

INTP: Someone demanding respect because of their status or position without having earned it. They don’t aim to be disrespectful, they just feel that respect and admiration need to be earned.

ISTP: Emotional overreactions. ISTPs keep their emotions on a tight leash, and are surprised when others don’t do the same. They don’t like it when people have outbursts that seem disproportionate to the problem and it can make them seriously question their respect for you.

ISTJ: Not following through on your word. They take promises rather serious. What’s so good about this is that the promise of an ISTJ often means something.

INTJ: Small talk or being constantly interrupted. Their Ni is what connects the dots of life and form insights into their goals, dreams and theories. Ni requires personal space and/or energy, therefore interruptions are frustrating.

INFP: They don’t like people who are insensitive and arrogant because of their Fi dom. They don’t like pretentious people or people who act as someone they’re not because of their Fi dom (Fi = everyone are equal/being true to yourself, be who you are, don’t fake anything).

ENTP: People who don’t take a stand in arguments. ENTPs usually likes to argue, but how can they argue if you’re trying to be all nice and diplomatic and refuse to take a stand?

ESTJ: Basically inconsistent people and unreliability. They do not think fondly of those who are late, lazy, don’t meet deadlines and so on. Neither do they hold much love in their hearts for those who give up without really trying.

ESTP: They like to fix problems, so people who rant and complain without wanting to find a solution frustrates them. ESTPs are great when you want a solution and not that great if you need emotional support.

INFJ: Condescension. Do not mistake their quiet, sensitive nature as a sign of weakness. They dislike being talked down to, patronized or condescended to.

ENFJ: They have a sixth sense for phony behavior and they can’t stand dishonesty. Their Fe percieves minor changes in body language that communicates dishonesty, so they often notice when you lie and they don’t like it.

ISFP: They are strong believers in being genuine and authentic. This makes them distance themselves from manipulation. Behavior used to manipulate or gain attention will irritate them.

ESFP: Making long term plans frustrates them. They want to think about now and let later deal with itself, they don’t know what they’re doing in two years- Having to plan it out right now is stressing them. To them, long term goals are less idealistic than short term goals.

3

@NiallOfficial: Thank you for all the birthday wishes ! Really appreciate the love from everyone . Xx

2

@ilikepranksters I hope you are happy for bringing this horrible monstrosity upon the world.

A brief example of white privilege:

If I, an Indian girl in America, mispronounce a white name, I will face mockery and scorn for my “substandard intelligence” which ***cLeArLy*** stems from my immigrant background. I will be consumed by shame as I constantly recall that moment when the wrong syllable was stressed or the right letters came out in the wrong sequence. My error may be met with laughter or with annoyance; either way, my only option is to fix my tongue and fix it FAST. I am suddenly blind to my own abilities: if I couldn’t even say the name “Leighton” correctly, does anything else matter???? Who cares how qualified a person of color is when they can’t even say a damn name?!?!

On the other hand, a white person can listen to me introduce myself gently, articulately, and painstakingly, yet *still* decide my name just isn’t worth the effort. They watch me waste my breath as I repeat my name in varying speeds and mentally implore them to try again for my sake. Then come the anglicized nicknames, the insensitive jokes, the dismissive hand gestures, and the utter disregard for one of the greatest elements of a person’s identity.

I am left feeling cheated and defeated.

White privilege is being able to erase the beauty, significance, and legacy of another human being’s name simply because you’re too lazy to teach your tongue something new.

Reasons to watch the New Russian Holmes series (2013)

I’ve blogged a lot about this show over the last month or so, but I’ve been meaning to make a big post about it all in one place, so here we go!

Originally posted by spiritcc

A brief intro for those who care:

Sherlock Holmes (2013), or, as it seems to be popularly called, New Russian Holmes (as opposed to the old Soviet Holmes), is an eight-episode Russian-language Sherlock Holmes adaptation directed by Andrei Kavun, starring Igor Petrenko as Holmes and Andrei Panin as Watson. It first aired in Russia in November 2013, but has had no official English release.

So where can I watch it?

Despite the limited release, all eight episodes are available on Youtube, with English subtitles, translated thanks to the excellent @spiritcc​.

Yeah but why should I watch it?

Because it is excellent. I don’t want to spoil people too much because discovering things yourself is really the best, but let’s be a bit more specific:

The opening credits:

Even before the first scene, we get treated to a beautiful opening sequence with really great music, but this isn’t just a sequence to shove credits in your face, it’s not even just an aesthetically pleasing series of shots of Watson’s notebook, the opening sequence forms part of the episode and part of the series as a whole.

Every opening is unique, from the images to the voiceover, and is as much a part of the story as the substantive scenes themselves. 

The refreshing take on canon:

If you’re going to watch this, you need to know that the fundamental premise of the show is that the ACD canon lies. Watson’s “stories” are just that: stories. Holmes in real life is different, Watson is different, Mrs Hudson is different, the cases went differently, hell, even Gregson is different. So if you’re looking for a faithful replication of canon, this isn’t the show for you, but once you take on board this fundamental premise, it’s fantastic because it forces you to think about canon in a new light, and to consider the implications of Watson as an unreliable narrator.

You’ll get to see how and why Watson came to write “canon” the way he did, and you’ll get to see how everyone reacts to it. Every other adaptation (with the exception of Bert Coules’ radio series perhaps, but even that adheres to canon quite strictly) treats canon as more or less the “truth” and bases their version off that to create an output; this show treats canon as the output, and works backwards to imagine the “true” series of events behind it. This aspect (at least for me) was one of the most delightful themes to watch develop throughout the episodes, and it really shows how much original thought and passion went into the conception and creation of the show.

Watson as the true protagonist:

This sort of follows on from the fundamental premise of the canon stories being mere stories. Watson is the person through whom we get to know Holmes; everything we read is Watson’s doing, so it’s natural that the protagonist should also be Watson. We see the world from Watson’s perspective.

It’s not a story about this genius Holmes and his sidekick Watson, it’s a story about Watson and his adventures with this intriguing man, Holmes, and in that way it makes the show very grounded and very real.

Holmes the nerd:

For some reason, Igor Petrenko’s Holmes has been likened to Robert Downey Jr.’s Holmes, but I don’t think that’s accurate at all. Whereas RDJ’s Holmes veers more towards grubby cocky action hero who happens to be good at reasoning (and I don’t say that with any scorn), Petrenko’s Holmes is very much grounded in the same sheer intellect that defines canon Holmes, only this version is a more flawed, nervous character, which I think makes him more interesting. Petrenko does an excellent job with the quirks and mannerisms of the character. He also keeps insects in jars in his room.

nerd.

Watson the military man:

A lot of adaptations emphasise Watson’s role as a doctor, but few seem to remember that he was also a soldier, so it’s refreshing once again to see this series not only acknowledge that military background, but to explicitly keep it front and centre the entire time.

Watson the surgeon:

For all its joviality, the show doesn’t shy away from graphic realities either. Watson is more than just a doctor, he’s a surgeon. We see him handle the scalpel more than he does the stethoscope.

Watson the badass:

Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

Watson’s facials:

I know I’ve posted a lot about this but seriously Panin’s acting is really one of the highlights of this show, he was such an excellent actor, absolutely convincing in his role.

Brand new revised subtitles by yours truly!

Over the last two months I’ve gone through and edited all the English subs for the series, so hopefully everything will read a lot smoother! Any remaining mistakes are entirely my responsibility.

The humour:

Sort of reminiscent of the tone of the Soviet series, this series shares that light-heartedness, but it sure as hell isn’t a joke either. It’s not dark and edgy for the sake of being dark and edgy. It doesn’t pull the cheap trick of taking advantage of your feels. The series sets out to tell a story and it tells a beautiful story and you will genuinely love the characters for who they are. And you will feel good about it. Yes, you will even love Lestrade.

Watson taking a bath:

The hilariously bad English (I laugh in good faith):

The creepy autopsy  man:

This weird ass scene:

Originally posted by nitefise-art

Kilts!

Moriarty hiding in the first fucking episode no less

not showing you, you have to spot him yourself

And finally, their timeless friendship:

Originally posted by random-nrh-gifs

Originally posted by idlesuperstar

Originally posted by random-nrh-gifs

Never has a show felt more genuine or more satisfying to watch when the final credits roll. This is a Sherlock Holmes that has had thought, love, and appreciation poured into its making, and it shows. 

So, llamas, go forth! You can watch the entire series here. I hope you have as much fun as I did :)

I’m just tired, man. Like there’s so much angry and negativity in the world, and the one safe place I had for the last few years, the place where I found strength to get out of a really bad situation in my life, is gone. Poof.

Maybe I’m being over-dramatic, God knows I am so often, but this one took a lot from me. 

Look. Felix (Pewdiepie) made a mistake, he thought his little “joke” was comedy, but as someone who’s been studying comedy for the past four fucking years, racism is not comedy. If you’re gonna target a group of people for the sake of a joke, you make damn sure they deserve it. Jewish people do not deserve it. Saying “death to” a group of people who have had the fucking shit kicked out of them for centuries is not fucking funny. It’s sad and, quite honestly, lazy. What pisses me off is that instead of 100% owning up to it, he’s trying to write it off as a “joke gone wrong.” Buddy. Admit you fucked up big time. Admit the joke was not funny and that it wasn’t humor. It was not comedy. By calling it comedy, you offend people who pour their heart and soul into making the masses laugh and feel good. 

And then, major Youtubers backed him up, saying he’s “just being himself.” People like Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, Lordminion777, all people who in the past have supported love and acceptance. People who I’ve looked up to for years. Hell, I’d go as far to say Mark was an idol of mine. However, they all backed up someone who is too much of a coward and too into himself to admit he made a mistake. 

As someone who really admired these people, I’m hurt as hell. 

As someone who’s studied communications and public relations for the last four years, I’m pissed off as fuck. You wanna support him? Fine. But don’t try to step back from repercussions of doing so. You went into this mess, you STAY in. Pewdiepie landed himself in hot water and by supporting him just being his wacky ol’ self, you jumped right in too. I understand standing up for a friend, but if my friend went and pulled some shit like that? You bet your ass I’m calling them out. To pull from Harry Potter books, if Neville Longbottom can stand up to his friends, so can you.

To conclude, jokes about killing minorities isn’t comedy. If you try to use them for comedy, you’re lazy and you’re pretty pathetic. Pewdiepie is a grown adult, and needs to be held accountable for his actions.       

anonymous asked:

Loving the text messages!! Keep up the good work! Also if you don't mind could you describe darks and antis personalities according to you?

Absolutely!!! Beware though, I’m about to wax poetic because I LOVE these two characters. I’m sorry that this post is so long but I’m NOT putting it under a cut because I worked on this for over a fucking hour instead of writing my history paper and I want at least one person to actually read it. :P

I’m gonna go a little in depth with what I believe is their canon personalities according to my interpretation and then how I incorporate those interpretations into Texts From Dark And Anti. Some of you may be surprised to find that I actually heavily take their canonical personalities into account when I make my edits; it’s not all just dick jokes and memes for the sake of notes. Texts From Dark And Anti is my love letter to these two characters, and I’ve gone to great lengths to portray them in the best way possible.

But enough babbling. Let’s start with Dark.

CANON PERSONALITY: Master Manipulator and Sexual Predator

Originally posted by markimemey

Per Mark, Dark is a master manipulator. He’s a snake in the grass, ready to tell you anything and everything you need to hear in order to get what he wants from you.

I’d argue that this often works for him. Obviously he’s a very good actor if he’s able to mimic Mark perfectly in the “Chocolate” ending, so that makes me think that he’s able to assume whatever personality and/or extend whatever favors he needs to to trick his victims into abiding by him.

But it’s also worth mentioning that Dark’s biggest weakness (arguably) is his jealousy. As Mark said, Dark’s extremely jealous of Mark, and he wants everything that Mark has: wealth, fame, success, and devoted fans. I’d be willing to believe that that last thing is what rubs Dark wrong the most.

Evidence? Mark’s fans are exactly what he goes after. Wanna know what’s freakier? IT FUCKING WORKED.

Mark took all of his fans out on a date. All of us adored him for it. Dark got jealous of this, so he infiltrated the date and tried to get us to support him instead. And when Tyler Mark showed up to fight him, Dark didn’t kill him himself. He manipulated us into doing it for him.

And what brings this home is that Dark has had the longest lasting potential out of anything to come out of this video. All of the other memes and references have lost their luster by now, but the resurgence of Dark-related fan art, ask/rp blogs, edits, and memes are still going strong. Dark infiltrated our date and convinced us to love him and worship him the same way that we do Mark, and we fucking fell for it.

So why does he do this? Is it just because he’s a jealous prick? Partially, but I think that, canonically, there’s more to it. I think it’s because he thrives on his ability to hold power over people, which is comparable to–get ready for it–sexual predators.

Dark exhibits a lot of the traits we normally attribute to these criminals. He’s attractive, charismatic, extremely manipulative, and sadistic. He says things like, “I can give you anything,” and, “If it’s dinner you want, I can provide.” Provide is an interesting word choice here, because that’s what society has dictated the man in a relationship should do. He even acts seductive: arching his neck, eye-fucking the camera, and he even blows us a kiss (see below). But the way that he grabs and shakes us periodically throughout his mental breakdown betrays his inner sadism and anger issues, also common among sexual predators. I absolutely think that based on Dark’s behavior and what we know about him, he’s totally down to fuck anyone and everyone in order to get what he wants–consensual or otherwise. And I definitely think he’ll enjoy it.

Originally posted by mirrorthehorse

I wouldn’t necessarily say that Dark is a nymphomaniac. As an otherworldly being, it’s entirely possible he doesn’t even have a sex drive. But sexual predators don’t usually rape their victims just to get their dicks wet. Usually, it’s a power issue; they want to feel like they have mastery over something, and that they are dominant and in control. Given Dark’s obsession with taking all of Mark’s glory away from him, coupled with his violent mood swings and sadism, I would say that sexual assault is probably just one of the many ways he appeases his insatiable appetite for power and manipulation. And I’d even bet that it’s one of his go-to’s.

In Texts From Dark And Anti, I normally portray Dark as a bitter old demon who doesn’t understand memes and doesn’t want to put up with anybody’s shit. But I didn’t just do this for fun; I did it because I could see Dark being jaded in real life. Off-camera, when he’s not trying to seduce us into adoring him over Mark, I could see him being sick of being overlooked. He’s old, even by Mark’s channel’s standards, and up until “A Date With Markiplier”, he wasn’t mainstream in the fandom at all–not fun for someone who craves the adoration of others. So he’d definitely be off-put by Anti’s much younger, more erratic personality, and in a bad mood he’d bitch at him for it. But in a good mood, he’d use it to his advantage to get whatever he wants–sex, souls, and anything else his blackened heart desires, both for the reward and the thrill of not having to do it himself.

Now let’s talk about Anti.

CANON PERSONALITY: Chaotic Psychopath

Originally posted by treblegirl

Jack has been near-silent on his personal interpretation of Anti (although he’s stated that he definitely has a personal canon that he refuses to share, the little fucker), so all of this is going to come from speculation and what we see onscreen.

While Dark chose to make his debut in one long, continuous, elegant appearance, Anti showed up randomly throughout the month of October, with no prelude and no explanation as to why he was there. Also in contrast to Dark’s smooth, charismatic personality, Anti is visibly unstable, jittery, and psychotic. Both he and Dark exhibit bloodlust, but Anti doesn’t hide it. He doesn’t hold back any of his sociopathic tendencies, going so far as to murder his host on camera for the world to see.

We don’t exactly know what Anti’s agenda is, but that’s just it: I don’t think he has one. At least, not one beyond the psychotic urge to kill as much and as many people as he can. Even in “Say Goodbye”, all he does is laugh at/condemn the viewer for not warning Jack and saving him. The other times he was on camera in October, he was glitchy, with several different appearances (fangs, gauges, blood, etc.) and contorted, unsettling body movements, making me think that Anti is a supernatural being that thrives on chaos and bloodshed.

But  Anti doesn’t just want to cause havoc–he wants to cause havoc and get the credit he deserves for it. That’s why he showed up so much on camera without Jack noticing; he was there for us, not him. Then he made a big deal about us not telling Jack what was going on, condemning us for our failure to make his existence well-known. Then he crashed Jack’s panel at PAX, angry at us for “forgetting” him. He’s not trying to garner our support like Dark is; if anything, he wants us to be terrified of him.

Originally posted by redthereaper07

But personally, if I had to choose between being locked in a room with Dark and being locked in a room with Anti, I’d choose Anti in a heartbeat. Because even though Anti is more obviously psychotic, at least I’d know I would be killed quickly–unlike Dark, who would torture and manipulate me verbally, physically, and possibly even sexually for an indeterminate amount of time. This is Anti’s downfall, I think; Dark disguises his true nature with seduction and charisma, but because Anti’s so unpredictable and surface-level, he identifies himself as a very obvious threat, ironically making him a little easier to understand.

Thus, my interpretation of him in Texts From Dark And Anti reflects this (albeit in a more comedic way). Anti loves memes and silly trends because he wants to stick out in a way that’ll gain recognition. He’s more up-to-date with Internet trends and slang because he’s much younger than Dark–but that also means that he’s more gullible, and a lot of simple things go over his head. Basically all of his emotions are double that of Dark’s, and he makes no efforts to disguise them. He’s also much more privvy to senseless murder than Dark. This speaks highly of his psychotic tendencies and general disregard for any order or secrets he could be bothering to keep. What you see of Anti is what you get: an easily-excitable, always-ready-to-fuck-shit-up killing machine.

Originally posted by markired

So…yeah. That’s pretty much my piece. Told you it’d be long. X’D

But tysm for asking!! And if any of you bothered reading this far, PLEASE reblog or leave a reply with your thoughts on my interpretation of these two characters and how you characterize them personally. I’m super crazy interested in the lore around these two (or lack thereof), which is why I created Texts From Dark And Anti in the first place. ^_^

Isabelle: I read online that one in six people are gay so that means one person in our friend group is gay!

Alec: I really hope it’s Magnus he’s really hot

2

Viktuuri Wedding redrawing ‘cause I saID I WAS GONNA DO IT

Original post idea by @miyukiz

EVERYTHING WRONG WITH T70S SEASON 8

Feel free to add. 

  • Boring opening sequence.
  • Donna doesn’t know why she and Jackie are friends for no apparent reason.
  • And keeps getting better by not actually caring about her or anyone but herself. And Randy.
  • Hyde’s villain mustache.
  • It’s been just a month since season 7 finale, why on Earth Kelso looks like if he hit the gym 24/7 for three years?
  • Fez/Jackie.
  • Hyde’s clothes.
  • Jackie pining for Fez. I’m going to say it again: Jackie PINING for FEZ.
  • Samantha.
  • No Eric, no Kelso.
  • What on Earth is Hyde doing married to a stranger and how he got to accept it so easily?
  • For some reason, Hyde suddenly doesn’t care of his friends either.
  • How’s that we were never told both, Jackie and Hyde, had half brothers? How is that this didn’t made them bond even more? What the fuck?
  • Jackie doesn’t fight Hyde about his bullshit, doesn’t even slap the asshole.
  • Hyde leaving drugs is a bad thing and his friends make an intervention so he will start consuming drugs again. It’s not funny. IT’S NOT FUNNY.
  • “Whorus maximus”, says ex-feminist Hyde.
  • The fuck is wrong with Fez’s super greasy hair, I–
  • Donna/Randy, Eric breaking up with her via letter for the most stupid reason ever after we got entire episodes in season 7 about how the distanse was not going to be an obstacle for them.
  • New guy suddenly is “the best”, is Hyde in love with him or what?
  • Hyde slaps Donna’s ass.
  • Red and Kitty are ok with a stripper living in their basement instead of, I don’t know, kicking their now fucking married son out of their house.
  • There was nothing wrong with Kitty’s hair, you suck, writers.
  • Jackie lets her romantic life be dictated by a fucking list.
  • Ridiculous dream about the beauty and the beast staring Jackie and Fez, when their “love story” is NOTHING like that one. It’s worse.
  • Is Kitty an alcoholic now? Ok.
  • Bob decides to leave town.
  • Donna doesn’t go to college and does actually kind of nothing with her life but wait for Eric, doesn’t go to college even after he breaks up with her and instead starts dating a guy she has met for about a month and keeps doing nothing.
  • Hyde yells at Samantha like his parents used to yell at each other to then have sex, because that’s healthy, alright. And the show makes it look like if that’s fine and good for their already unbelievable relationship.
  • Jackie constantly gets injured, humilliated in public, stepped on and fucked over. She literally gets green hair from her one true love, Fez.
  • Out of nowhere, Jackie thinks she IS a bad person and constantly says so and the laugh track is put because, for some reason, a girl hating herself is funny.
  • Hyde is married and nothing changes for him, he is still the same asshole living in his adoptive parent’s basement to the point the show kinda forgets about Sam for entire episodes.
  • Donna decides her new best friend is the stripper, because she wasn’t a bad friend already.
  • Zero chemistry between Donna and Randy. Fez and Jackie? LMAO, ridiculous.
  • Hyde’s beer belly.
  • That guy that took Hyde’s place and face.
  • Jackie’s sudden shallowness and other backwards steps, even wrose than her season 1 self.
  • Fez macho and playboy self, like, eww.
  • Caroline’s mental illness is still a joke, even more so now.
  • Donna decides to not tell anyone, not even Jackie or Hyde, that Eric broke up with her but tells new guy that is obviously going to get into her pants.
  • Samantha is actually married to an old man that could be her father.
  • Romantization of old guy-young sexy woman relationship right there.
  • Hyde is ok with everyone saying his wife is a whore and even says they can watch her take off her clothes but have to pay him, actually uses the phrase “Sam? What I told you? They have to pay ME first.” when insinuated she was going to strip for his friends.
  • Hyde calls Jackie a whore, a bitch, and other names after he couldn’t stan some random guy calling her that.
  • These people aren’t kids anymore and for the sake of jokes decide to do shit like stealing, proclaim drugs are ok, doing nothing all day but talk bad about the other and hold their life on pause because the show forgot they aren’t teenagers anymore.
  • Actually, all characters are worse than when they were teens.
  • Fez/Jackie (yes, it’s here two times).
Sterek Writing Prompt - A Bad Joke

Derek knew, when the only person to laugh was Jackson, that the joke had wildly misfired. He was going for banter, he was going for a gentle ribbing, he was…god he was useless.

Stiles’s virginity wasn’t something he hid, for god’s sake. He joked about it himself all the time! Didn’t he? And witches (mother fucking witches, who knew?) were in town and were sacrificing virgins because as well as being vindictive hags, they just loved a cliché. Ergo, a joke aimed at Stiles, about him needing protection, should have just received a little laugh from everyone and they would have moved on to planning how to take the witches down.

What Derek didn’t plan on was the shame, embarrassment and sadness that spiked Stiles’s in scent as soon as the weight of Derek’s words landed. Jackson barked out a cruel laugh and punched Stiles in the arm and Stiles just. Deflated.

Scott, bless his heart, changed the subject effortlessly and the conversation soon went back to battle strategy. Derek refrained from any further ad hoc attempts at humour and Stiles got involved again, but he was muted somehow. Derek tried to think of a time he’d felt worse but was coming up empty. And that in itself was laughable given his fucking tragedy of a life history.

He’d always just assumed Stiles was human kevlar. He was impossible to embarrass. He couldn’t be laughed at because he was always in control of the comedy. But somehow Derek had managed it. It didn’t make him feel special.

Once the plan was in place, people started drifting off to their respective lives and he could see Stiles heading to the door but the feeling that he had to fix things was itching under Derek’s skin. He needed to…something.

“Stiles, wait a minute”

The boy looked like waiting even a minute was the furthest thing from his mind, but he hung back anyway as Scott pulled the door closed behind him. The soft click of the door seemed to echo around the loft as they were left alone. The silence stretched on and Derek couldn’t remember the last time Stiles had been this quiet without being unconscious.

He cleared his throat, determined to clear the air. “Look. I’m…sorry. I didn’t, I mean, it was just a joke and-”

“You can’t joke about that” Stiles interrupts quietly

“What?”

If possible, Stiles looks even more embarrassed. “You don’t get to joke about…that. Okay Derek?”

“I know, and like I said, I’m sorry - ”

“What were you trying to do anyway?” he asks. “Hell, you never make jokes EVER, so why try now?” Stiles voice was becoming harder, angrier. “Just what were you trying to achieve?”

What was he trying to achieve? What possible answer could he give? The truth? The truth was that he was trying to make Stiles laugh. That his laugh warms parts of him he thought long dead. That when this annoying, bright, stubborn boy throws his head back and laughs, Derek allows himself to believe for a moment that the world isn’t all dark and twisty? No. Hah. Not in a million years.

“I was just, trying, I guess.” He settles on a partial truth. “You guys are always getting at me for being quiet, stoic, you know? I think I was trying to fit in more. Erica makes digs all the time and I just.” He sighs. “I thought I could be like that”

Stiles softens slightly. “I get it, I do. Just.” He looks at his feet. “Just don’t joke about…that. Me. The sex-not-having thing. Erica can joke because I’m not in…I mean she isn’t who I…I mean” he lets out a frustrated sigh and at this point Stiles seems to snap. He’s gone full word-vomit. “God! It’s not like I don’t have offers, okay buddy? Because I do. Lots of offers. Guys, girls, I got my pick. I’m attractive, you know? To people? With eyes? Maybe not glowing blue eyes but eyes and I could have any-”

(Derek has come to think on Stiles’s word vomit fondly, tuning out what he’s saying and becoming captivated by his hand gestures and his perfect cupid’s bow lips moving but this time something Stiles says gives Derek pause)

“What did you say?” Derek interrupts sharply.

“- guy or girl that I want to but -what?”

“The ‘glowing blue eyes’ thing you just said? You…was that about me? You don’t think I think you’re attractive?” Derek stares at Stiles in disbelief.

“Don’t play with me, Derek” Stiles says quietly “It’s not fair. I know you don’t think of me that way, and that’s fine, I’ve learned to live with that but until someone comes along that I want as much as I want you, or until you get your head out of your perfect ass and realise you’re the only person I can even think about sleeping with right now I’m not going to just sex-up anyone in the name of getting rid of the V-card. Virginity is just a social construct anyway so it doesn’t even matter and oh my god I didn’t just say that, forget I said that, it was a lie and what the hell is happening to your face?”

He’s smiling. Derek is smiling big and bright and Stiles is right to question this because he never does that. And he’s smiling because Stiles wants him. There may be witches out there to be stopped, and he’s sure that next week there’ll be something else for them to hunt and kill but for now, Derek can’t think of anything other than the fact that the boy he likes, likes him. He’s going to allow himself this little bit of happiness. He moves closer to Stiles and gently brushes his fingers down his forearm before clasping Stiles’s hand in his.

Stiles just manages to say “Besides, we all know *I’m* the funny one” before Derek stops him talking with a kiss.

The Signs as Phases They Went Through in Middle School
  • Aries: Misanthropic goth kid. "Life is meaningless, we all die some day anyway". Collected miscellaneous animal bones. Probably once tried to buy a human skull off the deep web.
  • Taurus: Was really into Pokemon. Tried to "troll" other students they didn't like on social media but was never taken seriously. Had a lot of self image issues. Probably writes their own slam poetry.
  • Gemini: Viewed themself as the most intelligent person in the world, smarter than any adult. Viewed everyone else as stupid and inferior to them. Probably spent a majority of their childhood on the computer.
  • Cancer: Was one of those middle schoolers that was far too loud in movie theatres or the library. Always said that they "had no friends" even though they were popular. Went through significant others faster than most go through underwear.
  • Leo: That one kid that drew nothing but animals. Warriors fan. Owned "how to draw anime" books. Talked a lot about how in love they were even though they were 13. Used cutesy :3 smilies and *roleplay actions* in casual texts for some reason.
  • Virgo: Constantly full of sarcasm and snark towards authority and peers alike. Wore brand name clothes and shunned people who didn't. Came out in the 6th grade and forever cemented themself as the Gay Friend.
  • Libra: Incredibly obnoxious. Really into "XD LOLZ RANDOM!" humor. Owned more stuffed animals than friends.
  • Scorpio: Caused drama for the sake of causing drama. Had scene hair. Was typically pegged as most likely to have vandalized or broken something even though more often than not it wasn't them. Not as edgy as they liked to think they were.
  • Sagittarius: Young Republican. Repeated borderline racist rhetoric they read on the internet as an excuse to be a jerk. "Do you even lift?". Wondered why they don't have a girlfriend even though they were a jackass to everyone they met. Introvert with one close extrovert friend that made friends for them.
  • Capricorn: Self identified Juggalo, facepaint and all. Really passionate about music and willing to cuss someone out for insulting their favorite bands. Occasionally volatile and didn't understand that consequences applied to them.
  • Aquarius: Glorified violence. Told offensive jokes for the sake of offending people, then gets upset when they don't "get the joke". Had a permanent "why me" complex about everything.
  • Pisces: Operated under the belief that millennials always know better than adults. Brought home every animal they found. Had a lot of big ideas but could never quite accomplish them.