but for all of you who wanted to see baby me

chaotic--cosmos  asked:

Please talk about the mummy returns

pristinepastel said: Hey, i know you like the first mummy, but what about the mummy returns?

I HAVE RETURNED…after like a day. 

but what the people want, the people get!

RIGHT SO THE MUMMY RETURNS!

aka the only sequel that is 1000% just as good as the first one. like holy shit. 

ten years later and we meet our heroes again. rick and evie are happily married, going on adventures, and evie’s dream of becoming a respected scholar has come true and they’ve made a tiny human! 

the only unrealistic part being that they only had one kid, i mean they are still all over each other ten years later and you’re telling me they only had ONE kid.

okay. sure jan. 

but boy o’ boy is that one kid awesome! 

alex o’connell. this kid is literally:

  • 50% evie super-klutz-genius. 
  • 50% rick screams-at-things-that-are-illogical-to-scream-at. 
  • 50% uncle jonathan’s sheer dumb luck and wit. 
  • 10% i’m really bad at math. 

you get the point. HE’S GREAT. also the actor passed on harry potter because, JUST LIKE ME, the mummy 1999 was his favorite movie and he just HAD to be in the sequel. alex is just such a smart-ass little shit. that much like his mother, accidentally brings about the apocalypse by opening something he shouldn’t have:

Originally posted by rafikecoyote

ARDETH BAY TIME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. he has a much bigger role in this one. GOD BLESS. (because he was supposed to die in the first one, but test audiences loved him as much as we do, so they kept his fine ass around) he still looks prettier than everyone and is still so done with white people once again. 

*after almost being killed on he bus* “this was my first bus ride.”
*after realizing they’re gonna make him fly again* “why can’t you people ever keep your feet on the ground?”

he’s just such an awesome A+ friend goals, because while he probably needs to go be with other medjai to prepare for battle against anubis’ army (yikes), he stays with the fam to rescue alex. it wasn’t even much of a thought for him really, rick and evie just batted their eyelashes and he was like: *sighs* “these white people are always messing my shit up, but they are my white people.”

Originally posted by lestatscherie

jonathan: still beautifully the same as ever. witty, clever, and would do anything for his family. 

“be quiet alex! if there’s going to be any hysterics, they’ll come from me!”

“if you see anyone come running out screaming, it’s just me.”

when he boasts about being a good shot and ardeth is internally like “i’m gonna die.” THEN HE SAVES ARDETH. hell yeah.

Originally posted by aurhireactions

rick: he’s still screaming at things. BUT IN DAD MODE. he’s the ultimate dad.

“you, lighten up. you, big trouble. you, get in the car.”
*sweetly* “honey, what are you doing, these guys don’t use doors.”
“knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you’re about to do to him, but this is my house and i have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.”

Originally posted by lmhotep

evie: still a super-klutz nerd, but with C O N F I D E N C E. little baby librarian is now a honey badger of ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK! and also a re-incarnated princess

“no harm ever came from opening a chest.”

rick: “i swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.”
evelyn: “you mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?”

Originally posted by a-ripley

we meet izzy, another one of rick’s ex boyfriends, who is a much more reliable mode of transportation than previously mentioned murder buses. 

imhotep: still emo. still wants to make out with his gf.

anck su namun/meela: hella good villain. she bomb af and 100% wants to take over the world. amazing. she actually has like a really cool role this time too!!! like so much screen time. 

Originally posted by marimoody

the rock…i mean the scorpion king, he’s another emo villain with goofy cgi rendering and like 4 million terrible made-for-TV spin off movies that you are lying if you haven’t watched at least one of them and felt that utter disappointment. but who cares the rock is pretty. and this was his first acting role and the reason we have him where he is today. 

thank you mummy returns for giving the world actor rock johnson #blessed

Originally posted by charmander-ann

THE ROMANCE AGAIN:

normal action movie sequel romance: same guy. different girl. repeat of first movie’s romance. hehehehhehehehhEHEHEHEHHEHH. 

not here bitch. 

rick and evie’s love has only grown stronger. they still bicker like old ladies at bingo night. the still look at each other like they hung the moon. they’re still disgusting jonathan because they CANNOT KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES. one kid my ass. they still support each other and protect each other like crazy. they love each other so much and it’s so healthy and pure and there is some good in this world mr. frodo.

Originally posted by yocalio

the bottom line here is. what’s the point of watching the mummy 1999 if you aren’t going to watch the mummy returns immediately after?

JUST DO IT.

Originally posted by mummymovies

(Dear mom and dad, please don’t kill me over this permanent choice. I want you to hear me out.)

Today, I am coming out with something that only few of you know. I am ready to have a conversation about my mental illness.

Last year, I was diagnosed with depression. And in all honesty, I believe it was a problem for quite a while before that, but I think it just got worse to the point of hardly functioning.

So today, I got this tattoo. I feel that my leg was the best place for the meaning behind it. When everyone else sees it, they see “I’m fine,” but from my viewpoint, it reads “save me.” To me, it means that others see this person that seems okay, but, in reality, is not okay at all. It reminds me that people who may appear happy, may be at battle with themselves.

To me, depression is the days that I feel sad for no reason.
Depression is the mornings that I don’t feel capable of getting out of bed.
Depression is the sleeping too much, or sleeping too little.
Depression is the homework that I never completed, simply because I didn’t feel like I was capable.
Depression is the break downs I have over absolutely nothing.
Depression is the eating too much, or eating too little.
Depression is the nights I begin to cry because I feel so overwhelmed, even though everything is going right.
Depression is the 50 pounds I carry in my chest at all times.
Depression is the need to constantly be distracted (being on social media, playing video games, watching movies or shows, or working all the time) because I can’t trust myself with my thoughts for longer than 3 minutes.
Depression is the friendships that have suffered because of my inability to function.
Depression is the hurtful thoughts and actions I have towards myself.
Depression is the tears I have because I don’t know why I feel so worthless, when I know I should feel happy.

This is one of the most difficult things to open up about because it’s extremely hard for me to feel vulnerable…but this needs to be talked about. Mental illness is serious, but so shamed in our society. We care so much for our physical health, but hardly a thing about our mental state. And that is seriously messed up. Mental illness is not a choice and will likely hit everyone at some point in their life. If it’s such a huge issue, why aren’t we having this conversation about it?

That’s why I got this tattoo; they are great conversation starters. This forces me to talk about my own struggle, and why the awareness of it is important. You’d be surprised by how many people YOU know that struggle with depression, anxiety, or other mental illness. I may only be one person, but one can save another…and that’s all I could really ask for.

Maybe this is part of why I am so interested in psychology. I want to help people who feel the way I have—and still do—because it’s hell. And I don’t wish that upon anyone.

“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.”
—Robin Williams

**Also, THANK YOU to the ones who have helped me in this battle. I would not be where I am without you.**

The first time Damian gets kidnapped as Bruce Wayne's son

Thugs over video feed: “Okay man, just remember you have 24 hours to deliver the money or else the kid dies 

Bruce: "All right, but first I just want to talk to him please I need to know my little baby is okay *wipes away very convincing Fake Tear™* 

*camera pans to Damian, who’s tied to a chair but seems totally chill with the situation and even gives an evil grin when he sees Bruce* 

Bruce (yelling dramatically): "OH NO MY DARLING CHILD ARE YOU OKAY??”

Bruce (furiously whispering): “Don’t you dare hurt them do you hear me young man" 

"DID YOU GET BOO BOOS?? DO YOU HAVE ANY BROKEN BONES?? OH MY GOD DID THEY TOUCH YOU DID THEY STEAL YOUR INNOCENCE REMEMBER NO MEANS NO DAMIAN YOU NEED TO FIGHT BACK AND STAY STRONG UNTIL WE COME RESCUE YOU OKAY" 

"If you try to fight back at all I swear to god you’re grounded for a month when you get back" 

"WHAT KIND OF MONSTER COULD KIDNAP A CHILD YOU HEARTLESS FIENDS CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S JUST A BOY" 

"Please don’t kill them" 

Rising sign Vibrations

Every rising sign has a reason to celebrate. Each of you has a distinct look that is beautiful in the eyes of another. Inspired by an anon on @disneystrologie account who mentioned that “the risings aren’t really appearance. It’s more so the vibe that you give out that enhances your genes”. I think, whoever you are, that was a very sagacious observation on your part. Hope you don’t mind me elaborating some more.

Aries | Loud and proud, you won’t miss these individuals in a room. They ooze life out of them as if the next big race is about to begin. When you look at them you see someone who knows where they are trying to go. Direction and drive is thrilling to watch. It’s beautiful to be a part of so there’s no shortage of individuals clamoring for an Aries rising’s attention.

Taurus | Old school beauty in a new package. What is old school depends on your heritage. Taurus rising’s know where they’ve come from and have the willpower to expand on the comforts of their past. You see it in how they carry themselves. It’s as if royalty from all walks of life have graced you with their presence. Make sure not to hit your head as you bow down.

Gemini | Lively individuals with a fairy like disposition. Lithe, young movements. It’s like watching your childhood crush race you to the river. It’s like watching your brother’s older friend tease you mercilessly. Gemini rising have a youthful beauty that makes you think anything is possible. 

Cancer | The watery vibe of cancer risings is like a siren call. Coy is what you think of when you see a cancer rising. There is something beneath the surface with them. The changeable nature of a cancer rising lends itself well to human nature’s constantly fluctuating desires.

Leo | It’s hard to deal with the voluptuous quality of a Leo rising, but thankfully we all manage. Something about them is bigger and better. Each Leo rising works that quality like there’s no tomorrow. They are larger than life. A cinema masterpiece you are willing to watch over and over.

Virgo | Where Gemini rising is youthful and lively, Virgo risings are youthful and somber. There is an energy about them that is contradictory. You know they are calm, yet a restless spirit hides within them. A knowing smirk is a common characteristic for these rising signs and they wear it so well. It could make the most hardened minds curious as to what they know.

Libra | So charming, it’s honestly hard to be around them. You feel like you would do anything for them. In fact you truly want them to like you! If a beautiful creature such as this likes you, surely you’ve done something right. Lovely, full features.

Scorpio | It doesn’t matter if you consider them cute, sexy, beautiful. Hell you could actually think they might be ugly, but the enticing nature of a Scorpio rising is hard to miss. Their actual genetics are enhance by pluto’s glow and penetrating stare. You really can’t help but look at them. You won’t ever want to look away once they are done with you.

Sagittarius |  Nothing can go wrong with these individuals around. Didn’t you know that Jupiter watches out for his own? They are brass and loud and so much fun from a single glance. You know that you’re in for a good time when you encounter a Sagittarius rising.  Do it big or go home and that includes their appearances. They take up space with their shining light

Capricorn | Sharp or strong features are common with this rising.  Even without the features they are known for, there’s something commanding in the way that they move. Something about that screams power to those around them. Power is beauty in the eyes of many.

Aquarius | Trendsetters who know no bounds. Aren’t we lucky we have them? There’s something about them that’s different. Different is good because who else would we base our art off of? Who else would inspire us. An Aquarius rising knows and understands this. Even if they aren’t conventional, they certainly have a way of making us fall for them.

Pisces| A soothing wave over your soul, you’ll feel like you’re drowing in the touch of a Pisces. It is hard to get them out of your head. Their energy is elusive, yet endearing. We as humans want to figure out what makes other works which is why Pisces risings cause so much obsession. What is going on with that beautiful vibe?

my name is Stanley Almodovar III
i carry the name of my father and his father before me
i’m twenty-three years young
i dyed my hair saturday but no one got to see it sunday morning
my name is Amanda Alvear
i am twenty-five years young
people know me as a pharmacy tech, the girl who lost almost two hundred pounds, the girl who takes too many selfies
but the only place i was truly myself was where i was that night
my name is Oscar Aracena
i am twenty-six years young
i’m a student at Valencia College
i was so close to getting my degree… so close
my name is Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala
i am thirty-three years young
i am a supervisor at the OneBlood donation center
i never did know if my job was the one who tried to save my life
my name is Capt. Antonio Davon Brown of the U.S. Army Reserve
i am thirty years young
i almost have my doctorate degree of management in organizational leadership
almost
my name is Darryl Roman Burt II
i am twenty-nine years young
i just received my master’s degree in Human Resources Management
tonight, i was celebrating
mi llamo Jonathan Camuy
soy es veinticuatro anos
trabajo en una cadena de televisión española
realmente estaba deseando volver a trabajar el lunes
my name is Angel Luis Candelario-Padro
i am twenty-eight years young
soon, i will be an ophthalmic technician
i cannot wait to begin my new job in a few days
my name is Omar Capo
i am twenty years young
i love to dance
i always said i wanted to die doing what i loved
my name is Simon Carrillo
i am thirty-one years young
my partner and i just came home from a little getaway to Niagara Falls
i was really looking forward to our next vacation together
my name is Luis Daniel Conde
i am thirty-nine years young
my best friend is  Juan Pablo Rivera Velazquez
he’s been by my side since high school
my name is  Juan Pablo Rivera Velazquez
i am twenty-two years young
my best friend is  Luis Daniel Conde
seems only fitting we left this world together
my name is Cory James Connell
i am twenty-one years young
my brother is getting married this fall and i am to be his best man
don’t tell him but i have no idea what to say in my speech
my name is Tevin Eugene Crosby
i am twenty-five years young
i am the owner of a marketing firm, Total Entrepreneurs Concepts
hard work truly does pay off; i can’t wait to share my latest meme with all of my facebook friends when i get home tonight
my name is Anthony Luis Laureano Disla
i am twenty-five years young
i love to dance, i want to be a dancer
tonight, i want to go dancing with my friends
my name is Deonka Deidra Drayton
i am thirty-two years young
for the first time in a long time, i can finally, confidently, say
that i am happy
my name is Leroy Valentin Fernandez
i am twenty-five years young
i love to sing
no matter what happens in life, no one will ever take my voice away from me
my name is Mercedez Marisol Flores
i am twenty-six years young
i am studying literature at Valencia College’s West Campus but my true passion is party planning
i’ve been thinking about switching majors
my name is Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz
i am twenty-two years young
all i want to do is make people smile
i’ve always thought that laughter could cure anything
my name is Paul Terrell Henry
i am forty-young years young
i am the proud father of two amazing kids and i have the most magnificent boyfriend
i cannot thank god enough for all of my blessing
my name is Frankie Hernandez
i am twenty-seven years young
i have a little sister, she’s one of my best friends
i cannot wait to see the person she becomes when she grows up
my name is Miguel Angel Honorato
i am thirty years young
i have three sons who i love more than life itself
i hope they will enjoy what i have planned for the next birthday party
my name is Jimmy De Jesús
i am fifty years young
i love my job but i am so thankful i have tomorrow off
i plan on having a good time tonight
my name is Javier Jorge-Reyes
i am forty years young
i am so, so proud of who i am
no one can take that away from me
my name is Jason Josaphat
i am nineteen years young
i love life, i love my life
and it’s only just begun
my name is Eddie Justice
i am thirty years young
i have a huge family, but i am a mama’s boy at heart
i always make sure to text my mom everyday
my name is Christopher Leinonen
i am thirty-two years young
i am madly in love with my boyfriend, Juan Guerrero
i cannot wait to see what the future has in store for the two of us
my name is Juan Guerrero
i am twenty-five years young
i am madly in love with my boyfriend, Christopher Leinonen
after a long week at work, i just want to unwind with my love tonight
my name is Alejandro Martinez
i am twenty-one years young
i have only been living in Florida for two years
but i have always met so many kind people here; that must be why it is called the “sunshine state”
my name is Brenda Lee Marquez-McCool
i am forty-nine years young
i beat cancer twice
and i have never felt more alive
my name is Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez
i am twenty-five years young
i am studying health care management at the Ana G. Mendez University’s Orlando campus
all i want to do is help people
my name is Kimberly Morris, but you can call me ‘KJ’
i am thirty-seven years young
i moved to Florida to be closer to my mother and grandmother
i love my job as a bouncer at Pulse Nightclub
my name is Akyra Murray
i am eighteen years young
i just graduated from West Catholic Preparatory High School
my name is Geraldo Ortiz-Jimenez, but you can call me Drake
i am twenty-five years young
i love Selena Gomez
i hope to meet her one day
Joel Rayon Paniagua
i am thirty-one years young
i love dancing
i am going to meet my friends for a night of dancing
my name is Jean Carlos Mendez Perez
i am thirty-five years young
not to brag, but i am the best salesperson Perfumania
you can ask Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon
my name is Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon
i am thirty-seven years young
growing up wasn’t easy but i can finally say that i am comfortable in my own skin
and i am lucky enough to have Jean Carlos Mendez Perez by my side through it all
my name is Enrique L. Rios
i am twenty-five years young
i am from New York
but i came to Florida to celebrate my friend’s birthday
my name is Eric Ivan Ortiz Rivera
i am thirty-six years young
i don’t really like clubs
but it’s for a friend, so tonight, i will go
my name is Xavier Emmanuel Serrano
i am thirty-five years young
i have a five year old son who is my entire world
i just hope i will raise him to be a genuine and compassionate person
my name is Christopher Sanfeliz
i am twenty-four years young
i am a personal banker at J.P. Morgan Chase bank
i am very thankful to have Sundays off, especially tonight
my name is Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan
i am twenty-four years young
i am a proud mom and wife
my youngest baby is three months old
my name is Jean Carlos Nieves Rodriguez
i am twenty-seven years young
i just brought my first house
i just want my mom to live somewhere nice
my name is Edward Sotomayor Jr.
i was named after my father
i am thirty-four years young
i love my boyfriend and i love adventure
my name is Shane Tomlinson
i am thirty-three years young
i am the lead singer in a band
i love to bring music to the lives of others
my name is Martin Benitez Torres
i am thirty-three years young
last month, i enrolled in college
i hope to be a pharmacy tech
my name is Juan Rivera Velazquez
i am thirty-nine years young
i love being a hair stylist
 i love making people feel beautiful
my name Luis Vielma
i am twenty-two years young
i love my job, especially working on the Harry Potter ride at Universal
but one day i really want to become an EMT
my name is Jerald Arthur Wright
i am thirty-one years young
i have a huge family, both biological and my coworkers 
tonight i am celebrating my friend’s birthday
—  say their names
(cc, 2017)

anonymous asked:

Don't get me wrong I'm SUPER EXCITED for Prompto's DLC. But everyone's like "oh no protect the bab" and I get it cause prompto is a precious bab but I'm SO READY for him to shine as a ripping badass gunner. SO READY.

^^ THIS. SO MUCH THIS. 

Ok, this turned into a bit of a long post, but I make no apologies. 

Prompto appreciation post.

Prompto is precious. He does need to be protected, but not because he’s weak. He needs to be protected because he’s lived through enough.

He’s tough as fuck. 

He’s had a really rough time of things - imagine growing up knowing you were ‘created’ to become one of the creatures/entities who are destroying the place that became your adoptive home, putting your friends’ lives at risk??? Imagine having to hide that from everyone. How exhausting is that? Never to slip up and show the signs on your skin that mark you out as ‘one of them’, even though you’re not.

On top of that, he faced and overcame isolation, and on his own he turned his life around so that it became something meaningful to him, so that he himself felt worthy of being someone’s friend. It’s not about whether he was or not to begin with, it’s about what he felt he was worth. Noct wouldn’t have cared if he was chubby or not. 

He got himself where he wanted to be through hard work and determination. Like I said, he’s tough. He grew as a person. He remained kind to his core, and sweet, and he worked hard every day to better himself.

That is why he needs to be protected. He’s already done all the hard work. He shouldn’t have to do any more. We call him ‘baby’ because he’s lovely, because he maintained his innocence and sweetness all through the difficulties he endured and overcame. He’s pretty and beautiful, with that bright smile and gentle eyes, his caring nature and lively personality. But he’s not a baby. And I think the bros all know that, and show it in their own way. He fits into the gap in their group, and they love him. 

And that’s the ‘tragedy’ of his Episode, if speculations are true. Our ‘baby’, who is in fact a total badass, has got to fight for his life. It looks like he’ll have to battle memories, MTs, and all the ‘what ifs’ from his past. We’ll see the outward manifestation of all that toughness he keeps inside. 

Prompto: he’s beautiful, he’s always been beautiful, but he is precious because of what he is and what he represents. He is an inspiration to everyone, for his hard work, his strength, his ever-present sweetness and sunshine smile, his empathy, his dorky sense of humour, for the shadows behind his smile.

SKAM S04E10 Clip 3 - Jonas

JONAS: Once, he forgot to bring his bike so I had to..

EMMA: You had to..?

JONAS: I had to take..

EMMA: You had to take his bike?

JONAS: But I’ll text you.

EMMA: Yeah. We will.

JONAS: Yeah.

EMMA: Where are you going?

JONAS: To the A-building.

EMMA: Okay.

JONAS: And you?

EMMA: To the B-building.

Keep reading

No filter witchcraft: let’s be fucking honest

So something occurred to me today.

I’m sure this is true of Tumblr and social media as a whole, and not just Witchblur, but it seems like a lot of witches, particularly if they are new, feel a certain degree of guilt when they see all these posts by Elder Witches with Ye Olde Grand Altar with Flawless Aesthetic and Perfect Perfectness at all times.

And let’s be honest.

None of us actually fucking live like that.

Our altars get dusty. Our workspaces get cluttered. Maybe our space isn’t very ideal to begin with, when we’re not carefully cropping out the crappy edges. Don’t lie: at most times apart from when we’re taking pictures for Witchblur or IG, it can look, well… not exceptionally magical. And certainly not as straight-up supernatural as it does after we’ve gotten done editing it within an inch of its life.

So I propose that on Saturdays (or any day, I do suppose), as an act of encouragement and solidarity to witches – and baby witches especially – who are feeling guilty for not being something that doesn’t fucking exist, we post #nofilterwitchcraft.

Take a picture of anything having to do with your witch-ness, that is not tailored for perfection, not carefully pruned, not super aesthetic, and throw it up on Witchblur or IG. It doesn’t have to be a working, per se. It can be anything, as long as it’s witch-related in some way.

Here’s mine.

This is my usual workspace, which is a tiny side table which usually shares space with my ugly speakers and in this case, also some random hair shit. Also in-frame is my extremely ugly early 2000′s fold-away caravan mattress (which I couldn’t be fucked to actually fold up today), and my cover-less duvet. In other words, I am more or less a mess.

Let’s see yours. Tag #nofilterwitchcraft and I’ll reblog if you want.

Imagine Andrew as a teacher

(bear with me I gotta get this out of my head) 

-Okay so he doesn’t go continue to play exy 

-But becomes a criminology teacher at Palmetto (cos Nora said that was his major) 

-With glasses and all that shit. His students have a love/hate relation with him. To put it mildly, he’s a complete ass but I love him 

-also Professor Minyard

-And mostly after the first class itself the students realise this- You do not talk when he’s talking or giving a lecture unless you want a perfectly aimed chalk thrown at your head or a “Get the fuck out or shut the fuck up you choose Avery” shouted your way 

-And you do not dare to make fun of his height. He will fucking annihilate you. “You think I’m smol small Johnson, have you seen your dick?“ 

-And yes he remembers your name and grade that fucker with his eidetic memory 

-And his students are terrified of him but have a lot of respect for this teacher who doesn’t look like an exy fan but occasionally shows up in jerseys or sweatshirts with “Josten” written at the back 

-So. One day this student has some work and goes to Andrew’s tiny office Imagine his shock and awe when he sees Neil Josten, Olympic winner, exy champion in all his glory sitting on Andrew’s chair with his feet crossed on the table 

-“You’re not Andrew.”, Neil says. 

-“I had some questions for mid-” And Andrew enters. 

-He stops when he sees Neil “Feet off my table. Now.” the disrespect ffs Neil  And the student’s just like do?? you?? know?? who?? that?? is??

-And the student looks over at Neil who btw still has his feet on the table and the student thinks “Does he have a death wish?” Neil breaks the silence and says 

-“I thought I’d surprise you.”       

“Leave”, comes the reply 

-And for a moment they both only have eyes for each other, leaving the poor sophomore highly uncomfortable 

 -And then thankfully, before he/she becomes a murder witness, Neil takes his legs off the table and smiles. Neil Josten smiles. This was the man who ripped Riko Moriyama apart. Who fought tooth and nail to get to where he was. Who’s mouth has gotten him into trouble more times than he could count. He fucking smiles. 

-And Neil walks past Andrew, almost brushing his shoulder while leaving and Andrew grips his forearm

-And everything but the two of them melts away. Nothing else fucking matters as if it ever did in the first place 

-And for a second, a fucking fraction of a second, Andrew’s expression shifts 

-And the student is in shock cos obvs Andrew teaches like he does everything else. With stone cold apathy and a tiny bit of disgust but still fucking brilliant. 

-And then Andrew says, “I’ll see you at home.” And then the student notices the “Minyard” on Neil’s sweater (Renee gave it to Andrew as a birthday present when she learned to knit and Neil wears it all the damn time) and understanding seeps into place. Neil leaves after a bit more staring. 

-And Andrew looks at his student and quirks an eyebrow.  

-By the next day the whole school knows that their criminology teacher is dating Neil Josten. 

-After that my poor baby Andrew has to keep repeating in the first class of every freshman year “If you want to be killed in your sleep or want to fail this class, try asking for an autograph. Oh and get used to death threats, you are going to major in fucking criminology after all.

[ROA]

Hi there! You’re about to witness a whole lot of word dump up ahead so fasten your seat belt, hold on tight, enjoy the ride!

Note: This is an extremely long post 

101 reasons why Jikook/Kookmin is my ultimate OTP
or 101 times Jikook made my heart flutter

1) When Jungkook tries to find reasonable excuses to hold Jimin’s hands (in which he usually succeeds). Example: A decent round of arm wrestling or a hand massage.

2) It’s nice to know Jungkook isn’t the only one who enjoys the occasion; Jimin does too, even comes up with the most absurd idea (like who arm wrestles while sitting 5ft apart? and knowing he will definitely lose?) urm 128 rounds, 128 losses…

3) The way Jimin ruffles Jungkook’s hair, as if to say “You did well, baby. I’m proud of you” or the way Jungkook leans into Jimin’s touch when he pats his hair.

4) When Jimin asked for kisses from Jungkook, but he panicked and jokingly pushed Jimin away, all the while grinning like the shy boy he used to be.

5) The moment Jimin asked for a peck on the cheek on Jungkook’s birthday but Jungkook just smiled at the camera.

6) When Jungkook softly answered “no” when asked by Jimin if he likes his hyung that much. He just couldn’t resist teasing hyung because of how adorable he would look afterward.

(Time frame: 3:45-4:10)

7) The numerous times Jungkook would wait for Jimin even though he keeps on complaining about Jimin’s sloth-like pace.

8) When they strut around the airport or basically anywhere, side by side. Even when others are way ahead they would take their own sweet time.

Backstage…

After fansign…

and of course, at the airport….

9) Jungkook probably feels that it’s a part of his responsibility to make Jimin happy, so more often than not he would try to joke around and comfort the older, even if it means turning himself into a dork.

10) The glistening look in Jungkook’s eyes whenever Jimin talks in interviews. 

11) When Jungkook made Jimin wear a tiara at a fansign and called him princess.

12) The uniformity of Jimin’s Twitter hashtags when Jungkook is there with him. It’s always #JIMIN and #꾹, making it easier for trash like me to find what I’m looking for haha.

13) Jimin and Jungkook being domestic and sharing soggy cereal in one bowl, using one spoon. Also the many times they share drinks and food.

14) “I will sleep here with Jimin” while pointing at the top bunk of the caravan in Bon Voyage , which, for me, strengthens the possibility of them sleeping together in the dorm. Reminds me of this too: “Everyone, Jungkookie cuddles me to sleep”.

15) When Jungkook suddenly stepped in front of Jimin while he’s talking to apply lip balm on his lips. The hyungs’ reactions were gold. They were stuck to one another like glue the whole broadcast and It hit me hard.

16) The times Jimin said “I Love You” to the camera and Jungkook stared at him like he’s the one being confessed. 👣

17) Jungkook knows his limit when he makes fun of Jimin, always being there for his hyung when insecurity gets the better part of him and I think that’s very, very beautiful. 👣

18) It’s OBLIGATORY for me to include We Don’t Talk Anymore cover by JM and JK here. No explanation needed because I’m sure you feel the same way as I do.

19) When Jungkook waited for Jimin to complete the formation during his part in The Rise of Bangtan in Nanjing, then turned to Jimin and serenaded him.

Serenades Jimin…

Turns to fans…

20) Jungkook knows Jimin, remembers every single thing Jimin does better than the man himself. He’s quick to answer things pertaining to Jimin.

21) When Jimin fell down at Taipei airport, Jungkook wasn’t there because he was filming Flower Crew. He joined them a little while later for their Epilogue On Stage. However, on their way back to Korea, Jungkook made sure to stick close to Jimin and walked by his side until they checked in. The fact that Jungkook was there with him made me cry a little./okay lie/

22) When Jimin took a blanket and a soft, fluffy pillow and tucked Jungkook in, and made sure he’s comfortable enough. Also the fact that Jungkook didn’t even bother waking up and sleeping in the room.

23) The amount of times Jungkook and Jimin hang around with each other, usually accompanied by another member.

  • A date
  • Big Bang Concert with Hoseok
  • At the waterpark with Jin

  • Eating Ramen at Hangang with Namjoon

24) “오~갖고 싶다” (Oh, I want you) That iconic moment in Now3 need I say more.

25) When Jimin hung around behind the camera while Jungkook was getting interviewed. 👣

26) When Jungkook squished behind Jimin when Jimin got his photo taken even though he could’ve gone away and NOT be in the camera.(Fancafe content)

27) When Jimin picked up a slice of cake and fed Jungkook in Bon voyage.

28) Jungkook’s way of carrying Jimin up bridal-style during Limbo game still has me feeling some kind of way, and I will not get tired of seeing it, not anytime soon i bet. (Every time it appears on my feed I’ll stare at it for hours)

29) How Jungkook’s ears perk up whenever Jimin says something. He’s extra attentive when it comes to Jimin. I don’t know if Jimin’s melodic voice gets him or what, cause if it is, boy I feel you. Example: Run! BTS in the US, when Jimin screamed “엄마ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏ~~~~” (mommy~~) because he’s scared of the roller coaster and Jungkook was like “왜?” (why?)

30) When Jimin laughs an octave higher whenever Jungkook does something funny.

31) The way Jimin sat on Jungkook’s lap and how tight Jungkook pressed him against his chest in Summer Package Dubai.

32) Jungkook didn’t bother about the fans’ parents who sat across him because he needed to make his hyung look good and that was all that mattered.

33) After Jungkook hurt his back at Mama, Jimin took care of him at the airport, gently keeping his hand on Jungkook’s back the whole time they were walking.

34) The fact that Jungkook and Jimin monitor each others’ scenes when they’re filming, waiting around and constantly giving support.

35) When Jungkook and Jimin held hands on stage.

36) The No More Dream lift that has changed over the last couple of years.

37) That moment Jimin made siren sound when Hoseok told everyone that his sister liked Jungkook. I find it cute. (Sukira)

38) When Jimin and Jungkook being lovey-dovey at Manila Airport. 👣

39) Jungkook and Jimin still had their own photoshoot even though they’re both paired up with someone else. Also the iconic “Jeomsoon-ah, please be my baby’s mom” by Park Jimin.

40) Jungkook randomly barging in and interrupting Jimin’s vlive and just….the immense amount of flirting and eye-fucking throughout the whole video…caught me off guard. 👣

41) No matter how many times Jungkook messed around with him, Jimin didn’t have the heart to say stop. He couldn’t say no to Jungkook; that’s how soft he is for the maknae. But yea, speaking quite frankly, Jungkook didn’t even try. There are million other ways to piss someone off but what he did? nope, that’s not how you do it,boy haha. (Run BTS spy episode)

42) And it took 0.000001 sec for Jimin to say thank you to Jungkook. Although Jungkook kept telling him he’s handsome, something he rarely does, Jimin still couldn’t catch on;Still became flustered and shy afterward. It made me asdfjkl. (Undercover mission in Japan)

43) I love Jungkook’s determination. Jk’s inner monologue: I have to make Jimin hyung wear this goddamn headband *gets on his back and forces him to wear it*

44) When Jungkook pinched Jimin’s nipple the instant Jimin went in for a hug lol. (Fancafe content)

45) Jungkook and Jimin have no chills when they’re seated together at fansigning events. They pay attention to each other more than they do to their fans. (don’t get me wrong they still love their fans)

46) When Jimin pretended to be mad at Jungkook for not sitting beside him at a fansign, and how Jungkook played along,claiming his current seat was his original seat when it’s not lol.

47) When Jungkook snatched the snack from Hoseok’s hand for himself, but stopped and gave it to Jimin instead when Jimin asked to be fed.

48) The various times Jimin snakes his slightly smaller hands around Jungkook’s waist and shoulder, and sometimes when it seems that Jimin has difficulty standing after putting his hand on Jungkook’s arm, Jungkook would bend to better accommodate him.

look at him tiptoeing…

49) When Jimin back-hugged Jungkook (and kissed his shoulder from what i saw).

50) The cutest nicknames they gave for one another. 👣

Ooops…

Okay pause. I’m afraid I’ll have to break it down into two parts, as seeing how freaking long this has gotten ahaha. Part 2 will be posted really really soon~~~

SNK Character Song Series 06: Levi (Image song & monologue translations)

Heeeyyy, Tumblr! Long time, no see :’) Did y'all enjoy SNK Season 2?

Levi and Erwin’s image song CDs were just released and I enjoyed listening to them a lot! ♡ So, I decided to pop back in for a bit and take on a new translation endeavor, something I haven’t really done in a while.

First up, this post is Levi’s image song and monologue! For the song, I included the original Japanese as well as romaji for karaoke purposes, if you’re so inclined ;) I also made a transcript of the monologue in the original Japanese, which you can read here (feel free to use it to translate into other languages.)

This should be obvious but keep in mind these are spoilers for the song & monologue, in case you wanted to experience them for yourself first. I definitely encourage supporting the official release & ordering the CDs if you haven’t already ♡

I’m also nearly finished with my translation of Erwin’s song and monologue as well, I’ll update this post with a link once it’s done ♡ ETA: Here is the translation of Erwin’s song and monologue!

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN CHARACTER SONG SERIES 06: Levi

“Dark Side Of The Moon” (Vocals by Hiroshi Kamiya)

Side note: the melody for Levi’s song is based on the previously released SNK single, Reluctant Heroes.

Japanese Version

こんな世界を今
逆さにして振ってみても
確かなことひとつ
出てきやしねぇ¹だろう?

壁の外は地獄
中は欺瞞溢れてる
それも併せ呑んで
任務を果たすだけ

感情流され死神喰われるか
足りない頭を回してみるか

※光当たらぬ月の裏
突き進むためには
もっと速く時には
躊躇なき非情さを
間違いじゃないやりたきゃやれ
ここに答えなんてない
ただ後悔残さぬ
自らの決断を

ここで生き抜くなら
言葉でする教育より
痛みの記憶説く
教訓が必要だろう?

犠牲も危険も避けては
成果など
得られぬものだと
腹を括れよ

隠されている月の裏
いつか暴くために
乱されるな喚くな
状況を見極めろ
結果がなきゃ正解もない
だから最後だけは
ただ後悔残さぬ
自らの生き方を

背後で散った勇敢な兵士たちが
遺した想い力を与える
必ずいつの日にか目障りな
壁も壊し
自由になる為この命捧ぐ

※ Repeat

Romaji Version

Konna sekai wo ima
Sakasa ni shite futte mitemo
Tashika na koto hitotsu
Detekiyashinē¹ darō?

Kabe no soto wa jigoku
Naka wa giman afureteru
Sore mo awase nonde
Ninmu wo hatasu dake

Kanjō nagasare shinigami kuwareru ka
Tarinai atama wo mawashite miru ka

※Hikari ataranu tsuki no ura
Tsukisusumu tame ni wa
Motto hayaku toki ni wa
Chūcho naki hijōsa wo
Machigai ja nai yaritakya yare
Koko ni kotae nante nai
Tada kōkai nokosanu
Mizukara no ketsudan wo

Koko de ikinuku nara
Kotoba de suru kyōiku yori
Itami no kioku toku
Kyōkun ga hitsuyō darō?

Gisei mo kiken mo sakete wa
Seika nado
Erarenu mono da to
Hara wo kukure yo

Kakusarete iru tsuki no ura
Itsuka abaku tame ni
Midasareru na wameku na
Jōkyō wo mikiwamero
Kekka ga nakya seikai mo nai
Dakara saigo dake wa
Tada kōkai nokosanu
Mizukara no ikikata wo

Haigo de chitta yūkan na heishi tachi ga
Nokoshita omoi chikara wo ataeru
Kanarazu itsu no hi ni ka mezawari na
Kabe mo kowashi
Jiyū ni naru tame kono inochi sasagu

※ Repeat

English Translation

This kind of world now
Even if we try shaking it upside down
There isn’t one thing that comes out
Which is certain, is there?

Outside the walls, it is hell
Inside, it is brimming with deceit
What’s more, we have to swallow it down
We can only fulfill our duty

Will we lose control of emotion and be consumed by a god of death?
Or will we try to use our dim-witted heads?

The dark side of the moon, untouched by light
For the sake of pushing forward
We have to be faster and at times
Be heartless without hesitation
It’s not a mistake if it’s what you want to do, so do it
There are no right answers here
Just being without regrets
Is my own decision

If were to I survive here
Rather than education with words
Isn’t persuasion by memories of pain
An essential lesson?

To avert sacrifice as well as danger
Things like results
Cannot be obtained
Steel yourself for it

The dark side of the moon is concealed
For the sake of someday being revealed
Do not get agitated, do not scream
Be certain of the circumstances
Without results, there are no right answers
Therefore only in the end
Just being without regrets
Is my way of living

Brave soldiers who died noble deaths² before us
The hopes they left behind give us power
Without fail, one of these days
We will demolish the obstructive walls as well
For the sake of freedom, we devote this life

Translation notes:

¹ It appears that Levi’s gruff style of speaking is present even in the lyrics of his song. The standard form of the verb here would be detekiyashinai (出てきやしない).
² The verb in the original Japanese, chiru/散る (or in this case, the past tense form chitta/散った) in the literal sense means “to fall” (in the context of leaves or blossoms from a tree). However, it also has the figurative meaning of “to die a noble death”. Even though we also say “fallen soldiers” in English, I worried that translating the lyric as, “fallen before us” or “fallen behind us” could both be misinterpreted, I decided to go with the more figurative meaning;;

++

Levi Monologue English Translation

Seriously now, I’ve had enough of this. This world is perpetual shit, and humanity is still toothless prey.

Those ugly titans are always going to take a bite out of us, and so we die a meaningless death.

Humanity is powerless.

When we won against the titans for the first time, the time when we sealed the wall in Trost district with a boulder, we could do it because of Eren’s power– a titan’s power.

The weak ones die quickly. How much power they use up doesn’t matter.

Eventually all of humanity, every single person will end up in the stinking maw of a titan, and while we experience the worst feeling there is, perhaps our miserable lives will end.

I realized it a few years ago. The stench of the gutters fills the inside of these walls. It’s been like this for over 100 years. It’s the way things are now.

Because I’ve had to breathe in this foul air ever since I was born, because I had no choice but to live crawling around in piles of trash, I thought that it was normal.

But when I went outside the walls for the first time, I realized how much I didn’t know about anything. It hit home for me, how much I had hated it.

The world outside the walls was like hell with titans wandering around, but the air I breathed there was completely different from the one inside the walls.

I realized, out there is what freedom is.

Freedom is something that absolutely cannot be obtained within the walls.

So I made a choice. I will continue to kill all of the titans.

If you want to confront the titans, information is never enough. So in order to survive, I learned how to live.

Quick action and callous decisions by assuming the worst is a necessary endeavor.

A moment’s hesitation, surrendering yourself to emotions, and you will be nothing but Titan bait.

If you don’t want to die, you have to always continue to keep this in mind.

And small choices will accumulate.

That is the way of living I have learned.

Risking no danger, making no sacrifices– there is no such easy discussion.

Even if there was, it’s all make-believe.

So far, I have lost numerous subordinates.

Whether my choice was correct at those times, I do not know. It’s always been like that.

Even if I believe in my own power, even if I believe in my comrades whom I fully trust, none of us will know the outcome.

Afterward, all that’s left is reality.

In that case, What can I do except make a desperate effort?

What can I do except doggedly press on?

If I have time to think about the bygone past, like if I were to have made a different choice back then, I will kill as many titans as possible within my power.

In that time, in that moment, a sudden, ridiculously strong power boils up from inside my body, and then I know what to do.

When that moment comes, I can no longer go back to my old self.

With these blood-stained hands, I accept my new self, I steel myself, and I only do what I must.

Was I correct? Or did I make a mistake? That’s the sort of thing no one knows, so it’s not worth worrying about.

All you can do is keep your mouth shut and make a choice without regrets.

Not understanding things about this world is true for everyone.

So I choose the guy whom I want to put my faith in.

Erwin is like that, too. No one knows what he is really thinking deep down.

But I trust his judgement.

He may be inviting the worst outcome, but he’s not afraid of that, he is able to choose something. That’s the kind of guy he is.

That’s why I chose to follow him. And I chose to fight.

In order to fight against this shit world, with this hand I’ll grab hold of the freedom of going beyond the walls for the first time.

I have chosen for myself.

Even if I am led into hell, I have no regrets.

Not one bit.

anonymous asked:

Okay but wait if it was Lily's willingness to sacrifice herself to save Harry, why the hell did James's willingness to sacrifice himself to save both Lilly AND Harry not qualify???

ok but imagine it did save both of them and lily had to raise harry alone

  • she emerges from the rubble of her home, limping, her crying son in her arms
  • but otherwise they’re both ok
  • when sirius and remus find her sitting numbly in the front yard she can’t bring herself to tell them about the lifeless body she had to walk around in order to get her son out of the smoldering house
  • they do it for her
  • they pull james’ body from the wreckage, and summon a blanket to lay over him
  • with him laid out like that, lily wonders if harry thinks his dada is sleeping
  • distantly she can hear sirius and remus arguing
  • “i’ll kill him”
  • it takes a glare from lily to shut them up
  • “do you think” her voice is raspy- probably from how much she screamed when she heard james hit the floor
  • she holds harry tighter and reminds herself that, no matter how much it already felt like she’s dead without james, she isn’t and she has someone to live for
  • “do you really think,” she starts again, “that he would want you to do that, possibly get yourselves arrested, and leave harry and i alone?”
  • the boys nod
  • and slowly they sit down on either side of her
  • dumbledore and mcgonagall show up shortly after and usher them all to a new safe house
  • they explain james’ sacrifice 
  • how his love saved them both
  • they didn’t need to though- lily knew that was what saved them
  • they bury him in godric’s hollow, just a few spots away from his parents
  • and they try to continue living 
  • peter is found and sent to azkaban but it still doesn’t feel right
  • nothing feels right to lily
  • except harry
  • so she clings desperately to her son
  • she sends him to muggle school and gets a job at flourish and blotts
  • “i need to do something, remus, i’m so bored while harry is at school”
  • she reads harry stories before bed
  • they have play dates with the weasleys
  • sirius and remus come over every day and eat dinner with them
  • and teach harry how to ride a broom
  • marlene baby sits when lily has to work late
  • they go for walks in the park
  • they get a cat, much to sirius’ dismay
  • and when harry’s letter comes lily wonders if she shouldn’t send him
  • but for all that it took from her- the wizarding world gave her so much too
  • best friends, the wonders of magic
  • james
  • and harry
  • so she takes a deep breath and sends him to hogwarts because she knows it’s where he belongs
  • she meets hermione and the two bond instantly
  • harry writes her every week
  • she goes to every quidditch game 
  • and almost punches dumbledore for allowing her son, this little boy, to remain in the triwizard tournament
  • and finally, when she’s at bill and fleur’s wedding, lily sees- despite the polyjuice potion disguising him- a determined expression on harry’s face is so familiar
  • so much like james
  • so lily lets him go again
  • the next time she sees him is at hogwarts
  • and then again in hagrid’s arms
  • and her heart is on fire because she did not lose her husband, raise harry alone and go through hell just to lose him too
  • so she turns to the man who started all of this
  • but just as she’s raised her wand to finish him, who steps forward but neville longbottom
  • and soon after that it’s over
  • lily holds her son in her arms, strokes his hair like she did when he was little and cries because she truly thought she had lost everything
  • “there’s someone you all need to see” harry whispers
  • they find sirius and remus, he leads them into the forest, and turns a stone three times
  • and there’s james
  • lily is vaguely aware of choked sobs coming from behind her- remus or sirius or both, she can’t quite tell
  • james smiles at her and reaches out his hand to gently brush her face
  • she can barely feel it but at the same time it sets her world on fire just like the very first time he touched her
  • “hiya, prongs,” remus murmurs
  • “boys- you’ve aged well”
  • “shame you haven’t” sirius says
  • james smiles sadly at them before turning back to lily
  • “we never got our proper goodbye”
  • “don’t be a fool james potter- how can i say goodbye to you when you’ll never leave me?”
  • he gives her that look
  • the one that always meant “i love you”
  • “i love you too,” she whispers
  • and then he’s gone again
  • but lily leaves the forest with a small smile on her face because after all these years she knows that he never really was

A rare snake-related post by me-

I have had Vision, a dwarf BCI and my youngest snake, for roughly 9 months now. He will be a year old in July, so by snake standards he is still very much a baby. In the past 9 months, he’s gone from, for lack of better words, a bitey defensive asshole to a relatively passive and trusting creature who simply has Rules ™ on how, where, and when he can be touched. I used the same method to produce these results as I do with all of my reptiles, including my young snake of a notoriously aggressive and defensive species (Amazon Tree Boas) and have frequently been asked how I manage to get these animals that instinctively bite first and ask questions never to allow handling and pictures without drawing blood.

On my dog blog I’ve mentioned the concept of body autonomy a few times in relation to training dogs, and how it crosses over into husbandry in other species. In these posts I’ve detailed how I tame the larger birds at my job, how I teach my snakes not to bite me when I take them out, how I can successfully convince a thrashing dog to accept grooming without a fuss, how I teach cats to not turn into screaming demons for nail trims, and more. I also cover this in many of my dog training lectures at work as my students teach their dogs to allow grooming, nail trims, and medically related handling to prevent injuries and incidents when interacting with these animals. All of this relates back to body autonomy, and how we as humans have consistently ignored other species’ instinctive need to be autonomous.

I am no master animal trainer and do not play one on TV. I train pet dogs and service dogs and have begun to venture into competition, at one point I specialized in rehabbing aggressive and reactive dogs. I have trained various common pet animals in occasionally unconventional ways to do things that make life easier for the both of us, but I don’t claim to be anything special, because what I’m doing is not all that special. It is, however, uncommon for people to make these considerations with their pets and then they call in someone like me to fix a problem that didn’t need to start in the first place.

An example being: frequently on this website and others, the solution for convincing a biting snake not to bite you is to hold it still until it stops biting you. The snake will learn that biting you does not produce the desired result (you letting the snake go or putting it back in its cage) and thus will eventually stop biting you when you pick it up.

In the dog training world, we call this flooding and learned helplessness. It “works” because it produces what we wanted it to. The snake no longer bites when you pick it up. But it failed to address the root of the problem, and frequently if regular handling is not maintained the snake will return to biting you every time you touch it. The snake had learned that there was nothing it could do in order to make you stop doing what it didn’t like, and so had learned that it was helpless against the much larger human. The snake in this situation still doesn’t really want to be handled, it is merely tolerating it because it sees no other option.

While snakes have a much more primitive brain than dogs and thus a much more limited scope of emotions, aggression and violence are always expensive measures to use and thus are frequently considered last resort measures to make an unpleasant situation stop. They are costly in body resources- they take large amounts of energy, stress, and time to resolve, and wounds obtained from violence can become deadly with infection or severity. As a result, a bite should always indicate that whatever you are doing is so unpleasant to the animal you’re doing it to that they’re willing to risk their life in order to make you stop. The common pet snake knows it cannot win against an animal as large as a human. It is hoping you have not come to the same realization, and will not call its bluff.

This creates a problem. Like with dogs, backing off from a situation that is required after a bite will teach the snake that all they have to do to get you to leave them alone is to bite you. If I need to trim my dog’s nails, give him a bath, brush him, or have him examined by a vet, sure I could put him in a muzzle and force him to do it anyway, but it is counter-intuitive to teach him that all he has to do is bite me in order to get out of doing those things he may consider unpleasant. I need to be able to handle my snakes. This is not negotiable, just like the above things I do with my dogs are not negotiable. If I cannot handle them, I cannot check them for injury, disease, or distress. Backing off because my snake, or dog, has threatened to bite me is thus not a viable option. I must be able to complete the task, and the animal in question must let me.

Dogs, by comparison, are relatively easy to convince in this problem. I need to be able to do my dog’s nails. If I give him amazing treats on a good reward schedule, shower him with praise, listen to his body language to give him a chance to calm down and destress before pressing on, and remove my own negative emotions from the equation, he will learn to let me do his nails and even offer the position required for the task within a relatively short amount of time. He does not have to like having his nails done, but I can convince him to like he benefits he gets out of it. Cats and birds and small mammal pets like ferrets, rabbits, and rodents may be slower, but follow much the same way.

I can’t give a snake a treat. That’s not really how snake digestive systems work. I can’t give them a toy. I can’t give them praise. The subtleties of snake body language are much harder to read due to a lack of eyelids, ears, and limbs. Dogs, cats, birds, ferrets, all of these are social creatures that practice social bonding and feel an emotion similar to love (in the dog’s case, actually do feel love). Snakes are not social creatures and their brain is not capable of producing the chemicals involved in the emotion we call love. I cannot convince a snake to love me or to like being handled. That is not something their biology is able to do. Does that mean I have to rely on flooding and learned helplessness in order to get them to let me handle them?

I keep stressy species. While all reptiles are more than capable of stressing themselves to death, my current list of exotic pets includes a special needs ball python with a severe neurological condition, a brazilian rainbow boa specifically purchased from someone who breeds minimally stressy snakes because he got tired of the species’ reputation for being bitey assholes, and a dwarf bci locality (read: like a subspecies, but not different enough to get their own scientific name) known for being defensive bitey assholes. Previously, I had a special needs corn snake that was a defensive bitey asshole, an amazon tree boa that was remarkably handleable despite the species’ reputation for being aggressive and defensive bitey angry assholes, and a few foster ball pythons that came from neglect situations and had never been handled before leading to them being defensive bitey assholes. Stress is common in situations where aggression or violence is utilized, even if it is being utilized by the animal and not the human. If the stress from moving can kill my beloved ATB Hydra, why would I intentionally expose him to situations where he would feel required to use violence again and again until he learned that that was not a way out of the situation?

I did not flood my snakes. I hold them. They do not bite me. It has been a long time since any of them have even struck at me, and the majority of the bites and strikes I have received have been from when I was learning the snake in front of me or from me intentionally ignoring their body language and handling them a way I knew they didn’t like for whatever reason. Snakes do not bite without cause. Whether you, a human, can see that cause or not, snakes do not bite because they are vindictive or mean. As said, their brains are far too primitive to feel such complex emotions. Even wild snakes do not bite without provocation- whether you intentionally provoked them or not does not matter, simply whether they felt provoked enough to need to defend themselves possibly with their lives.

Vision came to me unsure of my intentions and of whether I could be considered safe. He certainly didn’t believe I should be picking him up. At two months old, the world is a scary place to a baby snake where nearly everything is bigger than you and nearly everything wants to kill or eat you. I do not blame him for doubting the warm giant cooing over him with grabby hands. To him, I’m sure I am some baffling mixture of hawk, bear, and wild canine. All of these things readily kill and eat snakes, all of these things may be persuaded to not kill and eat this particular snake if he bites them.

Instead of picking him up and allowing him to spend precious resources stressing himself to the point of repeatedly biting me- which hurts, by the way, so I don’t really want to be bitten any more than I need to be- I allowed him to show me things about him. I let him show me what he does when he’s nervous, when he doesn’t want to be bothered. I let him show me what he does when he’s curious and feels like investigating what’s in front of him. I let him show me how he does and does not like to be touched. Like many snakes, he seems to enjoy being scratched lightly under the chin. Like many snakes, he doesn’t seem to appreciate being tickled on the stomach. He prefers to create a “foot” about 2/3 down his body and use it as an anchored perch when exploring my hands. He does not want his tail to be touched. When he is nervous or unsure of potential danger, he will retract and coil himself into a loose ball. If pressed before he recovers, he will “expand” the “ball” quickly and vocalize. If he continues to be pressured, he will threaten to bite and will begin to try. If he is allowed to relax, he will recreate his “foot” and resume quietly investigating his surroundings.

Today, I took the lid off of his enclosure and lifted him out without a fuss. While this is not a first- we accomplished this task about 4 weeks in- only in the past few weeks has he not immediately retracted into his loose ball and required me to wait a few minutes for him to relax before touching him. Instead, he immediately made his “foot” and began to investigate, leaned against my finger as I scratched his chin, and maintained his confidence throughout the time I handled him. Sure, I could possibly get a similar result through the first method of flooding and teaching him that he is helpless against me, but I don’t need to. I can get a confident content snake that is not only tolerating my handling but also showing curiosity and intelligence without forcing him to accept my hands as things he has to deal with in his life.

The people espousing these methods always ask me how I managed to take such nice, interesting pictures of Hydra without bleeding- or joke about how much blood they think I lost inbetween shots- and are always surprised when I tell them that I don’t get bit because I understand a snake’s need for autonomy and allow the snake to tell me their “rules” for being touched and then follow those rules or understand if I break them I will get bit. As a result, I don’t break their rules unless I have to, and thus I don’t get bit unless I have to. This allows me to handle and investigate my snakes, look in their mouths, check their vents and between their scales, touch their heads, and rescue them from fluke accidents such as Quetzal’s injury with his decor without the snake taking their frustrations out on me. It also allows me to take some pretty pictures of them outside or on props without worrying how I will retrieve them without being bitten when I’m done. 

Good Girl (M)

Plot: Good girls always had a bad side to them, and some people just brought that out – whether it be a shitty dorm mate or her boyfriend.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut, slight angst(?), highschool au!

Warnings: Being blessed by the Jungcock, cheating, oral (giving), praising, implied masturbation

Notes: I hope this smut will make up how slow I’m becoming. I can’t help it because exams. And I can’t believe It hit 140+ followers???? What the heck???? How?? Thank you so much. I feel so great about that. 2,042 Words

Originally posted by jeonify

You were probably one of the most angelic people in your year. You were always kind, got good grades, did your homework – it was a shame you were stuck with a bitch as a roommate. Kim Jenna was always out partying, high-key manipulative, and just got around a lot. 

It was a surprise people actually liked her more than you.

Maybe it was because she was prettier, You pondered sometimes. Maybe it was because she actually talked to everyone, and didn’t just sit alone during lunch. Insecurity was probably the bane of your existence when you were around Jenna, especially since she teased you.

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Douchebag gets it....

So this happened quite a few years ago, and the stage will take some setting. It might be more of a Karma than a Revenge story, but you guys seem to appreciate it when a Douchebag takes it up the ass, so here’s a fine tale…

I was working as a dishwasher in a new Fine Dining restaurant in the downtown of a largish city. Chef Paul came from a rich family with a lot of connections, but he made his own way through culinary school and was both talented and dedicated to his art. His family ponied up the cash for a location right downtown in Office Tower Land, but Chef Paul made the place the “hotspot” for the movers and shakers of the town. Our clientele was the Rolex set, people with a string of initials on their business cards and high-powered job titles.

Chef Paul was the nicest guy you could imagine away from the restaurant, but when he was on the cookline, he was an aggressive and abrupt bully of the old school. It was an open kitchen, meaning you could see it from the dining room, so he never raised his voice, but he could chew you out in a low-volume whisper, all the time with a poker smile frozen on his face. This was his show, his restaurant, his baby, and woe be it to the person who fucked up while Chef Paul had his game face on.

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As someone who spends a lot of time alone with an animal, let me say that Lucretia definitely got in the habit of talking to the Voidfish during her year alone. Sometimes if the Voidfish wasn’t in the room she would forget and just kind of talk to an imaginary Voidfish. 

Sometimes they had coherant conversations! Fisher is a smart jellyfish. Sometimes it was more like;

Lucretia: *drops something* See, this is why we can’t have nice things. Because everything is garbage and we’re all going to die

Fisher: *worried jellyfish noises*

Lucretia: I know, buddy. I want to die too. But we can’t, can we? Because then a giant disc of living darkness would eat all of existence unstopped. And that would be bad. 

Fisher: *hums*

Lucretia: That’s a fair point. I guess we can not die for today. Do you want to find some stories to eat? Goodness knows the locals won’t be using them in a year or so. 

After a few months of isolation it got the point where they’d shout at each other across the ship just to have company. Fisher would blare random music notes and Lucretia would yell back something inane like “Yes, I know” or “I’m on it, Captain!” The Voidfish would follow her around the ship and make noise at her, because it realized how lonely she was, and she would have very serious conversations about the fuselage and the engine and her past and anything else that came to mind with this bouncing, growing (constantly curious, way too rambunctious) fish. 

When everyone else got back they were a little concerned about the way Lucretia kept turning to the Voidfish and randomly saying things like, “If we don’t find something to eat other than transmutated tree bark things I’m going to stage a mutiny and throw everyone in the brig. First I’ll make them build us a brig,” or ask it about its thoughts on religion and the Hunger as a representation of internal emptiness and external consumption. Worse, sometimes the Voidfish would respond in what sounded suspiciously like musical sentences, leaving everyone with the unsettling impression that the still very tiny, baby Voidfish deserved contributing editor status on Lucretia’s journals now. 

To the people who are upset about the Wanna One final line up and are calling the top 11 talentless,

How? How can you say that? None of the top 11 are talentless. All of them deserve to be there. The issue was that there were only 11 spots and 20 amazing, talented boys who deserved those spots. In fact, all 101 of the trainees are talented. I could go on and on about how talented each and every member of that show is, but I’ll just talk to you about the top 20. 

TR;DL: It wasn’t anyone’s fault but Mnet’s. DO NOT BLAME ANY OF THE FINAL WANNA ONE MEMBERS. IF you wanna be mad, BLAME MNET. 

Rank 20 - Choi Minki - Nu’EST’s Ren - Ahh Ren, he was very good at everything. Maybe not the best in any regard but definitely an all rounder. Singing. Dancing. Variety. Visuals. All check. The issue with him gettng this rank however was that Mnet’s edits didn’t give him much screen time (this is the case with many of the following on this list). 

Rank 19 - Joo Haknyeon - He is talented. Despite needing some help, this boy is talented. He just learns slower than the other trainees and was greedy for positions he wasn’t ready to take on. He got way too much uncalled for hate because of it. I want to see him make a comeback one day as a stronger, wiser person.

Rank 18 - Kim Samuel - I shouldn’t have to say this but Samuel choreographed a lot of the dances they did for P101- hell he choreographed the Super Hot stage (baby is only 15 TwT). He kicked ass as center in Showtime! He was also good in Get Ugly! But Mnet didn’t give him that many behind the scenes cuts so I think that might have hurt him. He truly deserved so much better and I am going to support his solo. Hopefully, one day, he’ll debut in a group. 

Rank 17 - Yoo Seonho - He’s got cute maknae charms and improved so much throughout the show. He’s only been a trainee for 6 months and despite that he grew a lot in a matter of months. I’m so proud of you, Seonho. Thank you for comforting all the people who needed it at the finale. You are an absolute angel who deserved to debut as well.

Rank 16 - Anh Hyungseob - Hyungseob is a good dancer and despite not being the best singer he tries very hard. He’s also hilarious XD (fondly remembers the times he ran into a door) He’s also got variety skills. *cough* His rank is probably low cause the Yuehua boys are planning to debut soon *cough*

Rank 15 - Im Youngmin - Great dancer. Great rapper. I don’t need to say anything. Just watch any of his performances and you’ll see. He got fucked over by his fake scandals and because knetz eat people alive without knowing if the rumor is true or not. 

Rank 14 - Kim Jonghyun - Nu’EST’s JR - Amazing leader, who is selfless and always a sweetheart. He could have asked for center. He could have been greedy and asked for more lines. He never once did. On top of that, he’s a great rapper and a great dancer. Plus he a cute shy Wartortle. I have no clue how someone who was hailed the Nation’s Leader didn’t make it into the Nation’s Boy Group. 

Rank 13 - Kang Dongho - Nu’EST’s Baekho - He had vocals for days and visuals for days. His charisma was like fire and his personality is so <3 He was the cute babysitter for all the kids of P101 and I’m honestly so sad Guanlin lost his fav sexy uncle. 

Rank 12 - Jung Sewoon - Okay, look I love Ponyo . I love him so damn much you don’t even know. I was depressed when I saw him not get in. I can’t put into words how much I wanted him to be in the top 11. I thought he wouldn’t be close to 11 because he was 19 last time, but damn I feel trolled about this. VOCALS. DANCING. CUTENESS. I want to see him again in the future so badly.

Rank 11- Ha Sungwoon - HOTSHOT’s Sungwoon - It’s probably not right for me to say I didn’t want him in the top 11 because he needs to return to HOTSHOT so they can finally have a comeback. But he was Rank A from the start. Even Boa was like how are such talented kids not popular. 

Rank 10 - Bae Jinyoung - A lot of you seem to have an issue with BaeJin. But he’s got stage presences. He might not have shown it off at the start but he improved so much since then. Plus he has a great personality which you can see in any of the back stage cams since the actual show cuts his and Jihoon’s screen time.

Rank 9 - Hwang Minhyun - Nu’EST Minhyun- Don’t fucking sit here and tell me Jonghyun deserves to debut but then go off and say the top 11 aren’t talented when Minhyun is fucking in the top 11. Emperor Hwang has everything. Visuals, vocals, dance skills, and the relationship with the rest of the top 11. He made half this top 11 happen. So much talent you can’t even. 

Rank 8 - Yoon Jisung-  Auntie Jisung was gonna give up if he didn’t debut. He has stable af vocals while dancing. Plus he’s hilarious. Like really fucking funny. That’s been evident since he made himself a meme in episode 1. He took care of whatever team he led. I’m so so glad he got to debut. 

Rank 7 - Lai Guanlin - I personally didn’t want him to debut because I think he’s too young and still has a lot of growing to do. He wasn’t the best rapper or dancer but he’s got stage presence not only that but he was also only a trainee for 6 months. He’s only been in Korea for 6 months. Plus he’s like 16 so chill. 

Rank 6 - Park Woojin - I will flip tables if you tell me Park Woojin didn’t deserve top 11. He had shingles and still gave a bomb performance. He’s a great dancer and always draws attention when he’s on stage. He’s a great rapper too. He’s been Rank A from the start (BNM kids are so talented guys).

Rank 5 - Ong Seongwoo - Talented. So fucking talented. I can’t. He’s funny af, he’s an amazing dancer, he’s a god singer, he’s got a great personality, AND he’s got actor like visuals. Seriously, how can you call him untalented? Again he was rank A from the start. 

Rank 4 - Kim Jaehwan - If you have hearing, you know Jaehwan is talented. He improved his dancing so much to be here. Plus he’s savage and hilarious. Kim Jaehwan was actually someone I was worried wouldn’t enter top 11 because he didn’t have a strong solo fanbase.

Rank 3 - Lee Daehwi - This child did not suffer to have you call him untalented. He’s an adorable baby who can do it all. He is only 16 and he writes songs for crying out loud! He can dance and sing and maybe rap (I think). He was also Rank A from the start! (All the BNM kids are talented af so never fucking say he’s talentless)

Rank 2 - Park Jihoon - Got here because he winked BUT that doesn’t mean he’s not talented. He’s a good dancer like a really good dancer, And he knows how to work a camera, clearly. He’s not the best singer but he tries. He’s an okay rapper but we never got to see much of that. Jihoon is adorable and cute and a whole lot of goot things but people kept bashing him for getting to the top because he winked. He’s still talented though (Rank B isn’t that bad cause Jaehwan was Rank B).

Rank 1 - Kang Daniel - I will not take anyone calling him untalented. Seriously there are too many people saying he didn’t deserve it. Have you watched ANY of his stages. He ALWAYS stole the show and he’s NEVER been center. Look, people forgot he was a rapper because he sang so much on this show. Like he gave all the rap parts to other rappers because he knew they couldn’t sing. He’s an angel who loves cats and people. He’s also awkwardly hilarious. He was bound to be in the top 11 from the moment he hugged small Woojin. Worked hard and moved from Rank B to Rank A. Watch any of his fancams and prepare to be shook. 

If you’ve made it this far, I applaud you. 

Wanna One is talented.

Everyone in the top 20 was talented. 

I wish they made a group with the top 20 because I loved so many of them. 

Dear Ex-Best Friend,
So I’m writing this currently and there’s so much I could say but I don’t know how to say any of it. Are you hurting, are you affected by this at all? I’m not trying to come off as an ass but I genuinely want to know are you hurting. I mean when the final decision was made I cried on and off for 2 hours. And currently, I’m still not fully over it. I don’t think I ever will be. I know they’ll be days when I see you at school or on the bus and my heart will just hurt because it’ll make me think of what we used to have and it’ll want that again. I hate the fact that I lost you, my best friend. The memories we shared are ones I’m never going to forget. They’ll always be in the back of my mind and every now and then they’ll come back and show me the amazing life I had with you. You were there for me through pretty much everything whether the problem is big or small. You made me feel like I wasn’t alone and that I didn’t have to feel weird about things. You were also my support and backbone through everything, whether the situation is stupid or serious. You were always there and now not having you here a piece of me is missing. When you left I literally felt my heart just break and then I felt empty, but now I don’t know what I feel. I just feel nothing I guess. I wanted you to be the friend that when my kids asked “Mom who is your best friend?”, I could say you. I wanted us to be the 2 old crazy ladies in the nursing home dancing to One Direction. I wanted you to be the one to help me plan my wedding and my baby shower(s). I wished and wished that we could be those friends that their bond lasts forever, but it was only just a wish. Eventually, I’ll move on but I’ll never forget you, and I hope you’ll never forget me. I still look at your page and from an outside point of view it looks like you don’t care, but I don’t really know that. I hope I don’t look stupid for crying all that time and just wishing it was a dream that I could wake up from. I hope that I’m not the only one who now has a piece of their heart missing that’ll never be found. I hope one day along the road possibly we can bump into each other and automatically connect like nothing ever bad happened. I’m probably hoping for something that’s never going to happen but hey, a girl can only hope. I guess this is goodbye. I don’t want it to be but it has to. Well, bye I guess and I hope you have a good life.

Sincerely,
Your ex best friend

he kisses me and he whispers the word, “holy” into my ear. he tells me he’s never loved as hard as he loves me now, but i can see his fingers crossed behind his back. the fairytales teach us to chase all boys, boys who love us, boys who don’t want us, boy who use us, boys who abuse us. the fairytales teach us that our worth is weighed on the acceptance we receive from our male counterparts.
he reaches for my hand and he traces circles along my palm with his thumb and spells the word, “baby.” he tells me he’s never held hands as soft as mine, but i can see memories of her playing over and over again in his mind. the fairytales teach us that when you fall in love the first time it is forever, that no one has come before you and no one will come after you. the fairytales teach us that life is filled with first times and onlys.
he sits across from me and mouths the word, “beautiful.” he tells me he’s never loved a girl as beautiful as me, that he’s never seen a girl as beautiful as me, but i watch his eyes drift away and follow the pretty girl walking down the street. the fairytales teach us that we will be swept off our feet by a boy with beautiful eyes and a charming smile, that he will hold us high up on a pedestal and never let us fall. the fairytales teach us that prince charming will save us.
—  the fairytales teach us to look for things that don’t exist
Home Run (M)

Anonymous said to oppamansae:

“I still cannot get baseball jungkook damn that was amazingly HOT ! God damn ! Baseball jungkook X Cheerleader Reader ?! <3 Smutttttttttt~~~~~ with a fluff ? XD - ok im still imagining baseball player jungkook *heart eyes*”

Yeah as shitty as the title is, I can’t think of anything else. BUT YES HERE YOU GO BEAUTIFUL ANON. BASEBALL PLAYER ROOKIE JUNGKOOKIE. 2,036 Words

Pairing: Baseball player! Jeon Jungkook x Cheerleader! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Baseballer au!

Warnings: (slight)fingering, riding, JEON JUNGKOOK

Originally posted by mayfifolle

“And Jeon Jungkook is getting ready to take the next ball. One more home run, and this came is over. All the plates are empty – will he be able to make it?”

The entire arena cheered his name along with the cheerleading squad which belonged to the team containing the star baseball players of Korea, BTS. Not only were their visuals amazing, but they were all-stars, especially the main batsmen, Jeon Jungkook. 

“Takada Naoki is getting ready to bowl, and–” There was a thunderous ‘bang’ which irrupted from the bat of the brunet. “Amazing hit!!”

The crowd went wild as the player immediately dashed off the home plate. You cheered from your stage along with your group of girls – maybe you weren’t the main cheerleader, but you tried your best, kicking and waving your white and blue pom-poms from your position on the side.

“Jungkook! Jungkook!” 

The entire stadium chanted as he made it to third base, the Japanese team finally getting the ball, ready to pass it to the keeper. All the cheering stopped for a moment as soon as the ball was in the air, breaths being held in anticipation. The male soon slipped into home base as the ball was caught, the referee bringing the whistle to his lips.

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