but emma's like 'no get out of my face'

CS ff: “I Will Learn to Let You Go” (au)

Summary: Killian Jones, having lost his own soulmate years before, spends his free time finding the soulmates of other people. It’s what he’s good at, and he gets paid well to do it. Finding the soulmate of his latest client may prove to be the worst job he’s ever taken on, though. It’s not because Emma Swan is hard to find, but because he finds himself falling in love with her.

Rating: M

Wordcount: 12k. I only post word counts when things get out of hand.

A/N: Posting some fics feels like releasing a dove into the beautiful sunrise of a perfect day. Posting this fic feels like I decided to throw venomous snakes at everyone’s faces at the same time. Warning, this one comes with angst. Based off this post. I’m impatient to post this so it’s not been beta or proofread. All mistakes are my own.


Graham Humbert looks like the kind of guy that even if Killian tried to hate, he would never fully succeed. He’s well-dressed, with enough money that makes him the perfect ticket for the Lonely Hearts Club Detective Agency – a PI office with specific designs on finding soul mates for people.

Killian Jones once had a soul mate, but Milah died years ago, and he found solace in the uncanny ability he had to find other people’s soulmates, so he decided to turn it into a business. What better way to nurse a forever broken heart than to find the matches for other people to live happily ever after? Some days, the irony that he’s doing for others what he’ll never be able to do for himself again hits him right in the gut and he spends those nights at the bottom of a bottle of rum, locked away in his one-bedroom apartment above the office, hoping for sleep or numbness, whichever comes first.

But back to Graham Humbert, he’s an okay guy. He’s lonely, with a fortune from some settlement over a heart defect, willing to spend every last penny to find his other half if that’s what it takes. He walks into Killian’s office on a Friday, with nothing more than a name engraved on a metal card and a mark on his ribs in the shape of a Swan.

“Please help me find her,” Graham pleads as he leans forward in one of the chairs Killian keeps across from his desk in his sparsely decorated office. “I’ve gotten everything else I ever wanted out of this life, and now all I want is to finally settle down with the person I’m supposed to be with. Will you help me?”

Of course, Killian will help him. Who is he to turn down almost a year’s worth of income from one guy?

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Once Upon A Time Theory

Okay so I can’t get this thought out of my mind, found myself thinking of Emma’s Vision of her “death”. And something just doesnt add up in regards to Hook’s reaction, everyone else Charming & Snow looked scared but not like they were about to lose their kid and Henry looked distraught but Hook just looked mildly troubled . Now I don’t know about anyone else but if the person I claimed was my “Happy Ending” was about to be killed in front of me that is not the look I’d have on my face. He barely looks upset. Also the vision itself didnt seem as if Emma was living it in the first person it kinda seemed like she was watching the scene play out like everyone else.

So I’ve been rolling around this theory that it isn’t Emma fighting with Gideon but Regina disguised as her. Think about all the effort the writers has put forth to show that Regina is a master swordsman, they even had her have that duel with the Count in episode 2. That and the developmemt of the Swan Queen relationship showing how far they’d go to save and protect each other. So its not a stretch to think that Regina wouldn’t think twice about taking Emma’s place in that fight, she would stand a better chance in that fight.

Now this could just be this SQ shippers imagination running rampant in hopes that we’d finally get something irrefutable to prove to ney sayers that SQ is endgame cause as we all know there is nothing more damning in regards to evidence of true love than that kind of sacrifice, Regina willing to take Emma’s place in a battle to the death? Now thats some twist

Taking the Plunge

An Ode to Wet!Killian and the Olympics

Because @seethelovelyintheworld​ came up with this idea and I just could not get the image out of my head.


This’ll be fun, Ruby said. You’ll get to come with me to Rio! Ruby said.

The frown lines on Emma’s face grew deeper as she took in the now-green color of the diving pool. More like deflect the unwanted attention of male divers all day and be unable to smell anything except the lingering scent of chlorine, which was probably burning up all of her nose hairs by now.

She was contemplating all the ways she was going to return Ruby’s “favor” when the crowd cheered uproariously, jolting her back to the present as she realized yet another dive had been completed and she would soon be expected to hand the diver a towel, the job which Ruby had been so “generous” to bestow upon her in exchange for a trip to the games.

Ruby insisted that Emma would love getting an eyeful of all the divers’ bodies, but if “unimpressed” could be a state of mind, it was pretty much her entire country. After a day of being largely ignored or shamelessly hit on, Emma was ready to throw-in the towel. Literally.

That is, until she noticed one very wet, very naked form plunging up through the surface of the pool like a man being reborn.

He flung the water from his ebony hair with a flick of his neck and opened his eyes, revealing blue irises more radiant than the sky, and Emma felt time stand still as she absorbed the entire picture he made, dark chiseled features contrasting sharply with the soft color of his eyes and the fleshy pink of his lips.

She was so entranced her mouth hung open as she watched him climb effortlessly out of the pool, his movements cat-like and nimble as he sauntered towards her, the vague memory of watching a leopard roam through the jungle passing through her mind as his sleek dark hair glistened in the glare of the overhead lights.

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Thoughts on Baby Prank on Roommate

1. Okay so who else thought it was like those coupley pranks when they first received the notif and hasn’t seen the thumbnail yet? Because I did and I panicked!
2. Aww! Caspar’s cute sad-ish reaction when Joe told him he’ll stay out for the night
3. Josh helped in a jaspar prank! :D
4. Joe dropped his and Caspar’s baby Emma down the stairs… What a cool loving dad
5. Can you imagine Joe watching Caspar fall asleep and make cute adoring faces or making notes?
6. Joe didn’t even get angry when he got punched
7. Joe removed Caspar’s socks (it was aggressive and he threw ot on his face, but still… ;))
8.. When Joe dropped on top of Caspar, and Caspar just squeezed him between his legs like “whatever I’m going back to bed and you’re going to be my little spoon you little prankster” (no one saw or thought of that? *walks away*)

3

It’s been so hot recently in Texas, and as result we have been huge potatoes. Walks are out of the question when it’s 106 at 5, and 98 at 8pm. It’s stupid. Then I realized, we had a camping trip coming up in two weeks and thought I need to do SOMETHING to get myself some exercise. So I signed up for Yogaglo, which is an online site with Yoga videos to do at home.

Can I just tell you how much Emma hates this? Like, for a dog who isn’t terribly concerned or cuddly with her Mother - she is outright OFFENDED that I’m doing this at home. The first day, she licked my face to check if I was okay, slept on my mat and demanded pets while I was doing twists poses.

Yesterday, she was in my face again - WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! So, I used our training skills. I set out a “mat” for her, and rewarded for for not bothering me while I attempted to do another video. She’s still not happy, but she’s not in my face while I’m attempting to do a downward dog. Smh.

Ok, but real talk, that episode was one the best, ever. The flashbacks fit perfectly, the twists made sense, the task at hand was given the attention it deserved. The Snow and Regina scene, was, in my opinion, the strongest ever between the two. Hades is a terrifying sociopath who is written in a way that you love to hate him. CRUELLA. SNOW and Hercules, how ridiculously cute was that?! And the meeting of Hercules and Meg, perfect. Oh and adorably jealous Charming, Emma in full “get out of the way of me and my pirate” mode, Henry and Robin shenanigans…I could go on and on.

And I haven’t even mentioned Killian “I laugh in the face of torture”Jones. (okay, but we can really rescue him next week, right? Cause, he looks hot still with all that blood and stuff, but I kinda need a Captain Swan reunion like I need air)

Is it next Sunday yet?

I’ll Never Get Over You (Getting Over Me)

Part 1 of 2

Summary: CS Modern AU. Of all the bars in the world, why did Emma have to walk into the same one that her ex-boyfriend Killian happens to be in? And what will happen when the green-eyed monster shows up too?

A/N: I was honestly inspired by this old song by Expose. When I heard it playing on the radio, I just couldn’t get the idea out of my head of Emma being terribly jealous after breaking up with Killian and questioning her feelings for him.

Rated: M

They were having a fun conversation. Standing facing one another, she was telling him an animated story about her best friend’s bachelorette party in Vegas. Killian was even starting to think he might like her. She was certainly his type - pretty, blonde, lovely green eyes - but none of it mattered when he looked up and saw her walking in the door.

His heart stopped in his chest for a moment as he zeroed in on her and everything else faded to black. It had been about 4 weeks since he’d last seen her (27 days, but who was counting?), and her presence was like a shock to his system he could feel all the way to his bones. Damn her and her beautiful face. Her beautiful hair. Her beautiful everything. The night was either looking up or everything was about to come crashing down in a torrent of pain.

~~~

Emma straightened her shoulders as she walked in the door. She hated the feeling of being “rated” by all the males in the room, but she knew what would happen as her crew of single ladies entered the bar. The lighting was low, the music was lively, and the air smelled of something young and high on life.

She looked up, plastering a smile on her face, and stopped dead in her tracks. Shit. Of all the bars in the world, she had to walk into the only one that currently contained the source of all her confusion and heartache. One tall, dark and handsome Brit who was currently looking quite entertained by the antics of a petite blonde wearing a tight dress. This was about to get ugly.

~~~

Earlier

The bar was crowded tonight. The city was full of young and attractive people and quite a few of them presently happened to be congregating in this fine establishment. Including the pretty blonde lass who was currently smiling at him, leaning forward just enough to show a bit of cleavage, and leaving her hand on his arm just a bit longer than was necessary. He knew a thing or two about body language, and hers was definitely screaming, “I’m interested.”

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Hands on (1/3)

A very belated birthday present to the wonderful @the-captains-ayebrows based on this prompt:  

you look a lot like my good friend so I ran up behind you and grabbed your ass with both hands in front of everyone I’m so sorry

(this is unbetaed so please excuse typos and grammar mistakes - and point them out if you feel like it…)

Face it, I’m better.

Keep dreaming, buddy.

I’ll always be better. Mark my words, Swan. Whatever you do in life, I’ll do it first.

Right… I’m getting transferred at the end of the month. We’d hardly see each other again.

Oh no, you won’t get rid of me. I’ll be in your life forever, Emma. You can count on it.

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WOAH, WOAH, FUCKING WOAH!!

People are actually using Emma’s theft (which has pretty much been proven to be accidental) for Zahra whatever the fuck her last name is to not have to apologize or even deal with any consequences for her pro-Nazism picture??

Like, seriously, get that shit out of my face! Emma got fucking fired for her theft! She was hired back two hours later, but she had to deal with consequences of her actions, whether they were accidental or not! And Emma has only done ONE thing wrong in her three year career with WWE. Zahra has done several racist, homophobic, & misogynist things since she was signed with the WWE and from what I’ve seen, she hasn’t been punished by the company for it at all.

I mean, Hulk Hogan got FIRED for saying racist things from years ago (not that I’m condoning it, because he absolutely deserved it). This is a legend who got fired because he did something wrong.

Zahra did something wrong. She should have to at the very LEAST apologize for it (even though it’d be meaningless because she obviously wouldn’t mean it). She shouldn’t get special treatment because of who she’s apparently dating.

When someone does something wrong, they have to deal with the consequences of their actions. And please, don’t ever compare theft (whether it be accidental or not) to racism and pro-Nazism.

my post on Twitter for #Tellsomeoneyoulovethemday. I really liked it so I’m bringing it over here. Enjoy!

After Regina sacrifices Robin to expel the Darkness from Emma, Emma slips into a curse induced coma.

“There’s only one left thing to do, Dearie.” Rumple gestures at the sleeping savior and Regina nods, knowing what she has to do.

Stepping closer, Regina pushes Hook out of the way, “Get out of my way, guyliner.” Then mumbles something about how she should have sacrificed him as well.

Leaning over Emma, her blond hair in soft waves around her face, Regina smiled, tears filling her eyes because this was Emma. Her Emma and they’d fought too long and too hard for this to be the end and before she can even think about it she’s kissing her and a bright light flashes, true love magic coursing through the room and knocking Hook into a wall.

Emma gasps awake, her eyes fluttering open and landing on Regina. “Regina?”

“Oh, Emma.” Regina sobs as the tears filling her eyes fall down her cheeks.

Emma looks around and realization hits her. She’s her old self, the darkness gone.

“Did you?” She turns and asks Regina.

“Yes.”

“And Robin?”

“Gone.”

“So, you kissed me?”

Regina rolls her eyes slightly, “yes, Miss Swan.”

“so you love me?”

Regina pauses, having felt it for a long time but never voicing her feelings, “yes.”

“So, you true love love me?” Emma was smiling.

“Yes, I do.”

Emma sat up and grabbed Regina by the hips. “good, because I true love love you, too. So, you really kissed me huh? I mean, you say you did but the thing is…I can’t remember it so I think I deserve another.” Emma smirked, eyes flashing playfully at Regina.

“Come here, you idiot.” And then their lips were touching, slow at first but it didn’t take long for Emma’s tongue to swipe across Regina’s lips.

Snow coughed and covered Henry’s eyes. “Still here. We’re ALL still here.”

Regina turned and glared at Snow as Emma pulled her closer.

“Can I have a little privacy with my true love please? I’m recovering from being the Dark One, here.”

As the Charmings pile out Emma’s fingers dance along Regina’s hip, “So, you really love me, huh?”

Regina closed the gap between and murmured, “I really, really love you.”

Where You Go, We Follow

Summary: Emma runs away. Regina and Henry follow.

Rated: T

Preview:

“I’m coming with you,” Henry says.

She’s in the middle of dumping all her underwear in a duffle bag when Emma huffs, turns and faces her son. Her very preteen son who isn’t so much of a preteen anymore.

“No you’re not. I told you, it’s only until I get my head together. I promise it’s not for good,” she tells him. “Not to mention your mom will kill me.”

“She’ll kill you anyway when she finds out.”

“And how’s she going to do that if I’m not here?”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll have my ways,” Regina states unexpectedly from the doorway, unmoving, like she’s a living, breathing statue who just heard the entire exchange and Emma just knows she’s so, so screwed.

AO3 l FFnet

The first thing Killian registers when he wakes up is Emma pressing her toes against his calves.

“Bloody hell, Swan!”

“Sorry? My feet are cold.” He can see from her sleepy smile that she’s not sorry at all.

“That much is obvious.”

“Not my fault you’re like a human space heater.” She scoots over to her side of the bed, but the pout on her face has him reaching for her and pulling her back against him in seconds.

She buries her face in his neck and hums. “You snore. It’s only fair.”

“I most certainly do not snore.”

“Yes, you certainly do.” She giggles and sits up long enough to kiss his cheek before cuddling back against his chest. “It’s okay though. I still love you.”

He sighs. Look at what she had gone and turned Captain Hook into. “I love you, too. Cold toes and all.”

As much as I am & I will be a Swan Queen shipper till the day I die… I can’t get this idea out of my head, that this scene is not good & right in any way.

I mean…. don’t get me wrong…. I liked it very much.

For me it was funny & I had a laugh all because Regina was smirking & Emma made her surprised puppy face, etc…

And I really didn’t mind it at all….

But looking at it objectively…. can You even imagine how BIG OF A SHITSTORM that scene would cause if the roles were different????

If it would be for example Captain/Swan scene?

Yesssss, I said it…

Think about it…

What if it was Hook holding a dagger, telling Emma to “shut up” & than realizing the power he has over Emma & relishing it in this kind of joking way…

Or what if Regina was a Dark One and Robin was holding the dagger?

Shiiiiiiiiiit!

Just freaking imagine what kind of backlash would OUAT PR room get from all the fandom/fandoms outrage


THAT WOULD BE INSANE!

What if Emma and Jules’ relationship gets used against them in the end. What if they find the demon who killed Emma’s parents and it demands a life. And they’re trapped. They don’t have a choice and all Emma knows is that she has to get Jules out. And Jules just says no. There’s no way he could do it, but she takes his knife and puts it in his hands and guides it. But her eyes never leave his face. And she writes one last message. Live.