Sun square Uranus
Your cultivation of your identity occurs in ways that are kind of like a science project. You see yourself with a certain detachment that can allow for a free-spirited, broad-minded sense of self. But, it can also make you rather alienated from yourself, as a result, and quite alienated from other people, as well. You have a curious way of being on the outside, looking in, when it comes to yourself. You can observe your personality in motion, with an attitude of detachment and with an objective sense of how you fit into or don’t fit into the whole. Your self-expression cannot be purely selfish, for you are developing a self-image that is more so based on what you have to offer to other people. In many ways, you have to be a person who can benefit humanity. This can be on a major scale, like through any sort of political or social work, community efforts, or intellectual studies that can really help other people. But, helping other people can also be on a smaller scale, just through your sheer example. You can really excel at being the change you want to see in the world. You can express yourself in ways that will spread greater acceptance, tolerance, love, and freedom for all. It’s like you’re the light bulb, the cell phone, or some social movement. Through being yourself, you are capable of advancing the lives of others. Yet, this is a reason why, in spite of being so in touch with humanity and its progress, you might not feel entirely human. There’s this feeling within that you are here to serve humanity or spark the brainwaves of others, in some sense. Because of this, you can feel this dislocation from yourself on a more personal level. You can feel as if you’ve been “invented” in a way and usually by yourself. After all, you are so independent. Yet, through being this invention, it’s hard to feel like everyone else, who are often leading self-focused lives. This is the alienating aspect of having this placement and you can see yourself as an outright freak. You have a lot of emphasis on playing it cool. And for you, being “cool” will mean not being concerned with what’s cool. Often times, it comes from shunning what is seen as cool, popular, or normal. Therefore, you get the typical hipster or the defiant free-spirit who is insistent on not playing by anyone else’s rules or by not being into what everyone else is into. You don’t like superficiality or pretense, which is an admirable trait. However, your disdain for pretense can be problematic in a world where people are expected to perform whether you are inspired or not. Nervous and accident prone, you may sometimes think you have a dark cloud following you. The need to express your distinctive ego through your personality and career can often cause conflict with others. You can come across as abrupt, rebellious, or just weird. Relationship difficulties can result from this abrupt nature. You don’t want to be limited by culture, political correctness or gender. Much of the time you are very proud of your original personality. Other times, you feel a bit left out for being “different”. Being “apart” or “strange” may alienate you from close persons, and sometimes without wanting it. Your self-expression can be quite nonchalant and detached, to the point of aloofness. This is because you’re often times not expressing yourself in a strictly self-focused way. You’re, instead, expressing yourself in a more universal or global fashion. The ego, in many ways, takes quite a backseat. Because your self-image is of that person who is contributing to the world on a greater scale, you often don’t get too concerned with making a lot of personal attachments or indulging too much in exclusive passions. That’s not to say that you’re not passionate and that you don’t have any passion. Other placements in your chart can definitely indicate that. But, those passions often aren’t going to be felt in a personal way. You truly come alive when you are engaged with other people in an effort that is going to result in good things for everyone. Therefore, you are a real collaborator and will make sure everyone’s being a team player. At the same time, this doesn’t mean that you will be completely easy to work with in any sort of group. In fact, you will see yourself as the person who can bring dissent to the situation just as much as cooperation. But, this will only happen when you have ideas that are being challenged by someone else. You really enjoy a healthy exchange of ideas, even when there’s disagreement, as you never take it personally. The fact that others do is laughable to you. So, because of that, you can bruise a few egos along the way. You’re quite a wild thing, as well, because of your unpredictable, uncontrolled energy. Although there is actually a part of you that is quite calculated in your personality, there is another part of you that is always making unexpected moves. You often want to express yourself through a powerful need for freedom, originality, and truth. Typically, you hate having any restrictions imposed upon you. You have a willful character and is usually modern, forward thinking and radical in your approach to life. The aspect of free will is a heavy factor to your rebellious nature and powerful need for self-development. You go your own way and do your own thing without much concern about what others think. You like to do what you want, when you want. You could have trouble with boredom and things staying the same like a routine 9-5 job. Sometimes you show no respect for rules, the system, and what is expected of you. It could be said that you are always on the verge of something new and hate to feel stifled, restricted and trapped. You work best when you can manage your own schedules. You work in spurts. When you are hit with creative inspiration, you are capable of tremendous effort. However, you can be quite temperamental, and it is very hard for you to pour your heart and soul into something that you don’t “feel” for at the moment. Always a very complex person, you are most often extremely intelligent and independent. You stand out from the crowd in an obvious way. You are original, but sometimes impractical. Even though you may not consciously intend to do so, other will think you are provoking or challenging them. You may appear to be openly provocative, shocking and looking for a reaction. You can suddenly walk out of jobs, leave the country, pack up your bags, and break-off friendships. But this is only done if you feel held back. When you act impulsively in life you leave shock waves behind you, and this bound to happen. Old ties are suddenly severed, and you can be stubborn and unsettling to be around when you bring with you shattering explosions. You will come under a lot of pressure from others, ranging from nagging to accusations of mutiny or being a witch. Increased self-awareness will come with age, enabling you to recognize how your behavior can bring out the worst in other people. Your sense of humor is very unique and can offend. Sublimation of such tendencies can lead to a more settled life and even stability in relationships. But never let such self-regulation ever restrict your amazing talents. There is no doubt that the tension of this pushes you to achieve brilliance in creative self-expression…of a different kind. The thing is that you surprise yourself just as much as you surprise others, if not more. You are, more than most, discovering all sorts of surprising and unusual things about yourself throughout life. You can get hit with many random insights about yourself that end up totally changing your life. This aspect means growing into your identity in a very advanced or very unexpected manner. It also indicates that finding an identity for yourself is something that you’ll actually be quite distanced from and not entirely invested in. There can be more of an impetus for you to help other people find their identity and sense of self. But, when it comes to yourself? That can just be a big, old mess. You might end up not caring about being in touch with your sense of self or finding out who you are. The result can be that you become an absolute whirlwind of odd, inconsistent, and erratic personality traits, to a degree that just makes everything around you very chaotic. You may indulge in such weirdness and wildness that you finally, one day, step back and realize that, in the midst of all of this experimenting, you’ve turned yourself into Frankenstein. Your paternal parent could’ve been viewed in a very distant light. There might have been this sense that they were busy with other things and didn’t have time to give you much approval or recognition. This could’ve been a very absent-minded, eccentric, or remote parent who was wrapped up a lot in bigger things. Your father gives love and recognition in a more detached manner. While this made you feel free, it’s also something that instilled within you this sense of self of not exactly being recognized. Not like where you feel ignored, abandoned, neglected, or projected onto. You just might not have felt like that “big of a deal”. You can suffer from this feeling of wanting to be mavericks or rebels yet also somehow needing people’s seal of approval. Essentially, that yearning for acceptance must be discarded. If you can cultivate your own inner acceptance, regardless of your peers’ ideas, while seeing the actions of your father figure as highly tolerant and liberating, then you will be on the path toward true self-confidence. In the end, you are going to figure out who you are when you’re willing to be different. You shine as an individual when you let your unique brilliance come to the forefront. With the father figure, there was a sense of having plenty of room to think freely and be independent, whether it was through freedom that was directly given or indirectly taken. Either way, your true personality is that of someone who does their own thing. In spite of your allegiance to certain causes, collaborations, or movements, your true sense of self comes from knowing how you stand out amongst the masses. You must be “one of the people” while also totally being your own person. You shine the most when you don’t care about shining yet when you know exactly what makes you unique, even if no one else is that interested in it. In the process, the ego is both tamed and strengthened. It gives you the power to experiment with all of these modes of self-expression while also not getting that personally invested in the outcome, whether that’s success or what people say about it.