but damn it takes too long

I Need a Gangsta (I Need a Drink - Part 2)

Characters: Gabby Barnes (you), Batman, Joker.

Warnings: Swearing, some violence.

By the time I got home, Gotham local news had gone utterly insane. Summer Gleeson looked like she was going to pop a blood vessel. Missing out on a chance to record the clown prince of crime in action would make me sour too. My story was bumped to the front page just in time for the evening edition and I had Mike eating his own shorts. I was absolutely smitten, and yes, as smitten as a God damn kitten.

I poured myself a glass of Chianti and saluted Commissioner Gordon who was sounding off about solidarity and the good of the Gotham PD. He was probably forced to answer for yet another robbery by order of the mayor.

“Poor man.” I said, taking a long swig.

“Celebrating, are we?” a gravelly voice boomed.

I swore and dropped my glass of wine, searching through my jacket for my taser.

“I believe you’re looking for this.” a black gloved hand came into view holding a pink taser, my taser.

I let out a sigh of exasperation, “Jesus Christ, I guess you don’t knock do you?”

“Not really my thing.” Batman stepped out from shadows in my apartment I didn’t know existed.

Sighing again, I stared at my fallen glass and threw my hands up, “First I’m out of a job, then I’m held at gunpoint, and now I have red wine on my new carpet.”

“But you’re not without a job anymore are you?” as he glided forward I noted how tall he was, no wonder most lowlifes squirmed at the very mention of his name, “Word is you’ve scored an interview with the Joker.”

I picked up my glass and threw down a bar cloth, “Word always has some truth to it. What’s it to you? I never took you for a bodyguard type.”

“I want you to be my mole.”

Scoffing, I stomped on the cloth to soak up more liquid, “Yeah, like he wouldn’t have planned for that already, besides, my place could be bugged by now for all we know.”

“It’s secure, I checked.”

Flashing him a withered look, I picked up the cloth, “I’m not going to even go over how not ok with that I am.”

“I need your help, Barnes, and you need my protection. The last time he took a liking to someone they ended up losing a few screws upstairs.”

“What makes you think I haven’t lost some already?” when he had no reaction I exhaled, “Something tells me you’d spy on me anyway so it may as well happen with my consent, I’m in. That being said, I have some conditions.”

He stayed silent. Frigid fucker, ain’t he?

I continued, “I get in contact with you when I have something. None of this sneaking into my apartment after hours. Plus I can’t have you ruining my chances here. Joker is skittish, and needless to say, dangerous, and I’d rather keep all my body parts.”

“I can’t promise that I won’t step in if I deem it necessary.”

“Fine. I’ll leave my window open as a signal. Now then,” I snagged a bottle of spiced rum and poured myself a glass, “think I could swing an interview with you -?”

He was gone.

Downing my glass, I slumped on the couch, I’m making friends in all the wrong places.

Three weeks passed since I was promised a so called interview and not a single peep had come from the Joker. Not a car chase, body found or diamond robbed and I was going stir crazy. The final kicker was that I had completely emptied my minibar while attempting to calm my nerves. Every once in awhile I would wake up in a cold sweat with the remnants of a low whisper, kitten, from the barrel of a gun. After watching my clock strike 12am I dragged myself out of bed. I need a goddamn drink.

Once showered, I donned some jeans and a V-neck before braving the streets to flag a cab. Just as I had coaxed one over and was about to climb in, I looked up to see a purple Jaguar hurtle by. There he was, sporting his leather purple jacket, a white dress shirt, and a cane in hand, the Joker.

Immediately, I hopped in the cab and shouted, “Follow that car!”

It’s time I put my lips together.

Eventually the jag came to a halt outside a bumping nightclub and I cursed. No way was I even near dressed for the occasion. Either way, I paid the driver and got out. Think, Gabby, think! I skirted around to the alley of the building where I saw a faint light. A man in an apron was tossing some trash into a dumpster. When he walked back inside, I was barely able to snag the door with my toe.

I took a deep breath, the shit I do for a story. Luckily, there was no one in the back dish pit of the kitchen and I was able to creep my way over to some swinging doors. Looking through, I was almost blinded by the flashing and spinning neon lights. I saw the dance floor first which was bordering on the bar. Female dancers in boxes threw themselves against the glass amongst clusters of bodies, their motions fluid and mesmerizing. There were booths on the far right lined with gold carving and gold beads hung from the ceiling to provide privacy. A hint of green in a sea of red leather seats caught my eye.

As I began to push through the doors I was grabbed from behind, “We don’t like snoops in this joint, Sugar.”

“Fine by me.” I grunted and elbowed the goon in the stomach, causing him to double over, tossing me forward through the doors. A couple people screamed while I hit the ground hard and groaned.

I rolled over as the goon was collecting himself, “Com’ere you little-”

“That’s quite enough, Dorko.” that familiar sinister voice sent a chill down my spine.

The clown prince of crime bent over me, tucking some loose hair behind my ear and slid a finger down my cheek to my chin, “You really like to make an entrance don’t you, kitten.”

drunkwarlock  asked:

Do you think Kass has a big D or an average size one? Like he takes his clothes off and you are just like meh, I've seen better? (Do you not allow anon? Damn it B)

LMAO I never realized I had anons turned off. Now they are on so you you don’t have to expose yourself anymore. 

I think he has not a D that when he’s naked you go *wow* BUT I like to imagine him with just the right proportions, perfect to be played with without being too aggressive or scary like *he’s gonna break me in half isn’t he*? 

Long (lmao) story short: a little bigger than average but not that much

I was inspired by clingy Keith so…

clenches fist just, Keith and Lance sitting next to each other at the table like usual except Keith keeps brushing his foot against Lance’s and sitting close enough so their thighs touch. neither of them would call it playing footsie under the table but they’re playing footsie under the table.

BACKHUGS because Keith is too impatient to even wait for Lance to turn around, especially after a mission. Keith runs up to him and just barrels into Lance’s back and wraps his arms around his middle and puts his chin on his shoulder, eliciting a bubbly laugh from Lance. Keith’s embrace is so tight Lance can’t turn around to reciprocate, so he leans forward and bumps Keith up onto his back and parades around with his backpack boyfriend. If he does this for too long though he’ll slowly sink to the ground from exhaustion—because damn Keith you’re heavy—and he’ll take Keith with him. Keith just lays on him until Lance complains about his arm going numb but he’s still grinning like a kid.

and they might be boyfriends but a layer of that rivalry is still there so sometimes Keith initiates a wrestle-your-boyfriend session, usually at Lance’s provocation. Keith always wins, naturally, but Lance doesn’t mind because after Keith wrestles him down Keith nuzzles into Lance’s neck and covers him in laugh-y sappy kisses and they end up cuddling on the ground, tangled up together but 100% comfortable.

and obviously their signature sign of affection is the loving Forehead Touch. they’d be sitting next to each other in a peaceful quiet, when Keith crawls onto Lance’s lap and caresses the side of his face, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Lance’s. they stay there for a bit, with breathy laughter about nothing until Keith moves in for a kiss a little too eagerly and they lose their balance and plop onto the floor, breaking into a fit of laughter. Then Lance pulls Keith down for a kiss and that i-love-you-so-much-i-might-die feeling wrenches Keith’s gut and he swears he could stay there like that forever and he’d be perfectly content.

Dean knows he’s letting out stupid sounds as he presses against Sam, but he’s so tired and so beyond pretending that he doesn’t really find it in him to care. Sam’s hair smells shower-fresh and it’s so soft and warm around his face, and his brother’s body curled up against his feels so good; the AC is blowing in the background, its whirring mixing up with the breaths that Sam’s taking, letting out.

“You’re too big for this damn bed,” Sam mutters, his nails digging into Dean’s arm for a moment.

He’s grounding himself. So’s Dean. They’re both still so fucking high on adrenaline, and the cold touch of death lingers upon Dean’s legs like long claw marks branded into his skin where it tried to grab him just two hours ago.

He wants to laugh.

That’s it. You lose. You lose again. Me and my brother, we’re still here. It’s the only thing that matters.

“And nobody cares, Sam. Suck it.”

He doesn’t really know what he’s doing when he presses a kiss amongst the dark waves of his brother’s hair. Sam shivers and backs up into him, breathes in and never breathes out again, or at least not for another eternity or so. Dean closes his eyes, turns his head ever so slightly to get some fresh air into his lungs, and Sam empties slowly under his arm in a silent exhale.

Aren’t we too old for this? Dean can hear him ask wordlessly.

Too old to hold each other, too old to kiss each other, too old to get their limbs tangled in the stark sunlight of an early morning. But it’s not about age - it’s about the bruises and the cuts in their skins, the need to feel the other’s heart beating and the warmth that still radiates from them. As if to drive the point home, Dean turns back and kisses Sam again, letting his lips linger this time.

Sam sighs, his body relaxing, and the question fades into acceptance. Dean counts his breaths until he’s asleep, solid and firm against Dean’s stomach and underneath his arm curving around Sam’s body, and it’s that sensation he lets lull himself to sleep as well.

Being close is the only reward he wants for keeping on keeping on. Maybe they’ll make a habit out of it.

Rex and Ahsoka - The inbetween years

Because I refuse to acknowledge the probably cannon fact that the two of them spent fifteen years apart bewteen order 66 and their reunion in Rebels. That’s too damn long.

My headcanon is that they did a few undercover missions together at some point before they were separated during a mission to free some vod’e (among which Rex found Wolffe and Gregor) and couldn’t find each other again in this vast galaxy. Also Rex started to have a beard right at that time to annoy Ahsoka, he went back to being blonde too to hide white hairs.

When I draw this picture, I imagined them coming back from one of these missions and taking a breather while watching the stars flash by. Or going on a mission too. It may or may not be romantic. Anyway, Imagine whatever you like.

for @spaceyquill who wanted a rexsoka picture.

anonymous asked:


Sorry for taking so long! (also, i used the original color scheme!)

Jes: Hey - so as I have been informed it is apparently Tedromeda Week. Any Tedromeda head cannons you wanna send my may?

fallenwithstyle  asked:

You said in your tags that you don't trust Tao anymore, will you talk about that some more? Because I'm having some suspicions too. When she said her childlike appearance was an advantage, that made me expect something sneaky from her. But her surprise at seeing the HHB last chapter seemed too genuine for me to believe they're the direct target of any plot. What do you think?

I’m really in two minds about this too! On one hand, all of the characters we’ve been introduced to have such a “fun future allies from another country” vibe to them, but on the other hand I can’t help but be suspicious just from what’s been happening. I mean, first there was Tao’s comment on looking young being an advantage, and that her “secret house” is close to Kouka and makes gathering intel easier. And her sort of ditsy introduction versus her acute noticing that Yona was in a bad state. AND the fact that these armed men just happened to turn up the night the HHB appeared? Or even that if they were trying to kill someone, shouting before approaching isn’t the best idea… which makes me think this is an act? AND AND there’s the fact that (at this stage) we only have Tao’s word for everything going on in Xing. This, combined with the fact that Soo-Won requested Xing intel makes me think that Soo-Won may hear a story that contradicts what the HHB have heard… maybe even that Kouren is the one after peace and Tao isn’t, making this a ‘who dunnit?’ kind of set up. Also whilst I’m listing suspicious things there’s Hak’s very first thought on Voldo, which was that he had this different air about him - one that made Hak tense. 

Soooo… yep XD I mean, I’d LOVE for the HHB to actually gain some friends in other countries (and political ones at that, because so far they only have political enemies from across the borders) but I’m still getting little red warning flags in my mind. I guess only time (or more chapters) will tell ^__^

russianspacegeckosexparty  asked:

Househusband Steve can't just make simple, standard pb&j or Bologna sandwiches for the kids. He gotta get creative, makes them restaurant quality, gourmet sandwiches/lunches in general and spoils the kids

“Steve, you’ve been making the kids’ lunches for an hour, come to bed. They’re just going to the aquarium with Bucky.” Sam says. He’s exhausted, but the only thing he wants to do right now is cuddle up to his husband. He’s had a long day at the Avengers Compound.

“Sam, I just can’t send them somewhere with regular sandwiches. You know Sarah won’t eat it.” He’s sautéing some spinach on the stove. It smells good but Sam’s too damn tired to care.

“Baby,” he groans, “she won’t because you’ve gotten her used to meals that take-” the oven beeps interrupting Sam mid-sentence. Steve pulls out, wait. “Steve, did you bake brownies at midnight?”

Steve shrugs with the tray of brownies still in his oven mitts. “Yes…”

Sam sighs. He gives up. This is what he gets for marrying an artist. He leans in and gives Steve a kiss on the cheek. “While you’re at it, make me one of those sandwiches for tomorrow too.”


It’s way too damn early to be awake and at work. I pull the pool vaccume out of the deep water and lay it out then empty the disgustingly full bag. I go unlock the doors and then climb up onto the stand with a soft sigh, it’s going to be a long couple hours. Jamie called in sick and I hadn’t been able to reach anyone else, hopefully I won’t have to take a water break to run to the bathroom. Nobody is here yet, the water barely moves the jets shooting warmer water into the pool causing the slight waves. I’m completely zoning out, staring at the water.

“Excuse me.” A soft male voice says causing me to jump.
“Yes sir? How can I help you?” I ask before even looking to see who it is. My eyes meet his blue ones and I’m surprised to say that I know who he is. Chris Evans.
“Sir?” He chuckles softly, “I’m not that old.” I smile down at him.
“It’s how we’re supposed to talk to the members. I didn’t mean any offense.”
“Not a problem.” He’s still smiling so I know I haven’t offended him.
“What can I help you with?”
“Does it matter which pool I swim in?” He motions to the two connected lap pools.
“Nope. The one with the red is deeper.“
“Are they equally long?”
“Yea. It doesn’t look like it does it?”
“Not at all.” He pauses for a second then looks back up at me. “Which pool is easier for you to guard?” I gesture to the red pool on my right.

He walks over to the pool, drops his kick board and hops in. “Shit!” He yelps and I stand ready to jump in if I’m needed.
“You okay?”
“This is fucking freezing!” I bite my lip to keep from laughing, it’s not polite to laugh at members. “Go ahead and laugh, you won’t hurt my pride too much.” He groans through his clenched teeth.
“It helps if you start swimming.” I offer, a smile on my face.
“Easy for you to say all the way up there in the warmth.” He says shaking his head before he pulls his goggles on and dives under the water. I’m glad he’s the only one in the pool. I can watch, unashamed, as his muscles move with each pull and kick. He’s very smooth as he moves through the water. It’s a lot of fun watching him, it’s also really nice that he’s so hot.

Charles shows up two hours later, I’m more than relieved when he takes my place on the stand.
“Jake should be here in an hour.”
“Oh thank god.”
“Just go take a shower and head home.”
“Deal.” I give Chris a small smile and wave as I head out.
“Hey!” He calls grabbing the edge looking up at me. “I never did get your name.” I tell him and he gives me a little splash, “I’m Chris.”
“Yea, I kinda figured that one out.” I laugh softly, “Don’t drown.” He splashes me again and I laugh softly. I head into the staff locker room and step into one of the showers, since it’s me and two guys I keep my suit on but slide the straps off so that I can work on the knots in my shoulders. I lean against the wall as the hot water slides over me. I hear the door creak open but keep my eyes shut and groan softly. “Charles. So help me god if you come over here and scare me I will drown you.” He doesn’t say anything and I’m stunned when a pair of soft lips brush against mine. My eyes pop open and instead of Charles I see Chris standing in front of me.

“Charles gave me the code.” He whispers looking down at me, “I hope that’s okay.”
“More than.” I respond running my fingers through his damp hair. He presses his lips to mine again and his tongue dips into my mouth. He catches my bottom lip in his teeth causing me to groan softly. “Did you lock the door?”
“Good.” I slide my hands down along his torso, feeling the muscles I’d admired from the stand. He slides the top of my suit down as he kisses my neck, his hands brush against my nipples and I arch into his hands. He rolls my nipples in between his fingers causing me to moan. It’s a good thing he locked the door. I guide his lips back to mine as I undo his trunks, my suit is around my waist and with a final shove my suit comes off of my hips. His drop to the floor and he dips down to scoop me up. Chris pins me against the wall of the shower for extra balance and slides into me.

“Oh shit you’re so tight.” He groans as he slowly inches in.
“Uhh.” I whine softly biting his collarbone gently. He bottoms out then pulls part of the way out before thrusting back into me. “Oh god Chris.” I growl as he continues to thrust slowly into me. I need it faster and harder, I wrap my legs around his hips as tighten them.
“Tell me what you want.”
“You want me to pound that tight pussy.”
“Fuck yes.”
“Can you be quiet?” I bite my lip, “If you can’t I’ll just keep up this pace.” He rolls his hips hitting my g-spot with a slow thrust.
“I can be quiet.”
“Good.” He pounds into me, his cock going deep, our bodies smacking together. I cling to his back as he spreads my legs apart opening me wide to him.
“Oh fuck, oh god, Chris.” I moan into his ear.
“Don’t make me slow down.” He mutters back stilling inside me. I squirm in his arms trying to get his cock moving again but being pinned against the wall isn’t helping.

He slowly starts thrusting again, picking up the pace with each thrust. “You know it’s polite to ask to cum.” He says into my ear before searching my face with those blue eyes.
“Next time you ask me.” I growl and a grin breaks out on his face.
“Deal.” He says then kisses me his cock still pounding into my pussy.
“Chris.” I gasp, “Can I cum?” He drops one of my feet to the floor hitting a new angle against my clit and my mouth drops open in a silent cry. “Please. Please let me cum.” I whisper. He presses his thumb against my clit and I’m dying to explode.
“Do you deserve it?” He growls.
“Yes. Please Chris.” I breathe, barely holding it together.
“Say my name again.”
“Chris.” I whine.
“Cum.” My body is shaking and I cum so hard that I get tunnel vision for a few seconds. Chris pumps into me a few more times before cumming. His mouth dropping open and his eyes squeezing shut.

We stay where we are for a few minutes, he slides out of me before setting me down.
“Did you really mean next time?” He asks running his hands down my back as I rinse off in the warm water.
“Yea.” I say turning to face him. “I mean if you’re up for a next time. Maybe we could actually make it to a flat surface.” I tease scooping our suits off the floor and passing him his.
“I’m in town all week.”
“Let me know when you’re free.”
“Tonight. I’ll give you my number?”
“I’ll be there. And this time I get to be the bossy one. Can you handle that?” I ask looking up at him.
“I can.”
“Good.” I run my finger up his cock. “Rest up. We’ve got a long night ahead of us.” He kisses me again before I step out of the stall and grab my towel. We trade phone numbers, kiss and then head out different doors. So maybe having to lifeguard this morning wasn’t so bad.

I didn't fart.

Or have the hiccups. I wasn’t a nervous wreck or anxiety riddled at all. He was so nice and funny and I had such a great time. He texted me this morning and said it was the best time he’s had in a long time and he really wants to see me again. We saw Sausage Party instead which was the best idea ever really. That movie is hilarious and inappropriate and soooo politically incorrect and we both laughed from beginning to end.

Ok, hi, I’ve spent WAY too much time and effort on this when I should have been doing other things and I don’t even know why, so… here. Take it away from me.

Fanfic Appreciation Day!!

It has recently been brought to my attention that today is Fanficton Writer Appretiation Day, which I had no idea existed (but I’m glad it does) until now!

So, here are some of my fav tumblr writers that deserve all the appreciation in the world:

@marvelousmarvelimagines@thenightmarebeforesam, @imaginecash, @bovaria, @imagine-assembling-the-avengers, @jonstarke, @marvel-ash, @romanovoff, @underoocs, @imagine-peterparker

Not writing every single person that should be on here because that would take me houuuurrrssss and the post would get way too damn long.

Thanks to everyone that has been tagging me in their own fanfic appreciation day posts, it really means a lot. Happy Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day to every single fanfic writer out there!!!

Originally posted by coloursong

Hm, with M-21’s fight with Ignes, he’s pretty much been set up to be rescued because there’s no goddamn way he can take on a Clan Leader by himself. Especially now that Ignes has probably enhanced herself too.

It also makes it unlikely that M-21’ll have a Big Damn Heroes moment for Kentas, dammit. 8l Boooo.

But yeah, musing what’s going to happen in the next couple of chapters.

The…parents and werewolves group? Older quartet? Pfft. Anyway, they’re still making their way over. And I’m sort of amusing myself with them losing Rai, and Muzaka’s just like, ‘What the fuck. If I’d known your sense of direction was THIS bad, I would have dragged you out sooner to teach you how to navigate by the stars’. They’re not even aware M-21 and Kentas have escaped, so Lunark would be taking them to the destroyed lab. …I hope Garda was elsewhere at the time and hadn’t gotten her lifeforce sucked out of her by Ignes, jeez.

So it’d kinda depend on if the quartet felt Kentas’ transformation and went running. I’m not sure if Muzaka would though. He might split off from the others and go straight for Maduke? Strike at the source and all that, and with Rai and Frankenstein there, rescuing Kentas and M-21 would be easy so he’s not needed for that rescue mission.

So the trio head in the direction of Kentas’ fight and they’d probably split off again, because they’d be seeing the after effects of both Kentas’ fight and I’m assuming that’s Cetus anyway.

That all probably takes two chapters, for the quartet to get their bearings and we’d be seeing a whooole lot of M-21 and Kentas getting their asses kicked. At least werewolves are still honouring the one-on-one fighting system, so Kentas shouldn’t get taken down too easily. And yeah, parents stepping in for their Big Damn Heroes moment at the end of a chapter.

I was kinda hoping for the quartet to stay together for M-21’s rescue, because - well, either way he’d be like this, but I’d have still preferred it if he got rescued with all four of them there and he’s just like, 'Wait. *wheeze wheeze* Please. You have to save my friend.’ Because with Papa and Dad there he is very much and totally SAFE. And ahahah, hey, I’m SURE M-21 totally won’t remember the LAST time he’d begged someone to save someone close to him. 8’D;; He’d probably want to lead them to Kentas through sheer willpower. (I STILL WANT M-21 BEING/BRINGING THE CALVARY, OKAY.)

Kentas being Kentas, one of his final thoughts near the end of his fight is probably going to be, 'I hope I bought M-21 enough time to get away’ and AUUUUGH.

So that means possibly three concurrent fights? M-21 and Kentas’ rescue should probably be wrapped up first to then focus on Muzaka and Maduke’s fight.

But yeah, it’d also be cool if instead of skipping a season like they usually do, that it was Raskreia who showed up to fight Maduke after sending that Very Angry Letter and stabbing him through the face.

Though then she’d be Lord of BOTH nobles and werewolves, and aaaHAHAHAHA. XD

But. Yeah. That’s my hopeful prediction for the next couple of chapters. 8l;; There’s a whole BUNCH of werewolves we haven’t seen in action yet, so they might be there to slow the quartet down Even More.

Persona Problems//handsomefxckface


It has been days, weeks, months and years and only the question of time when the young man would start loosing his mind. And not too long ago, the day of insanity finally came.

“You call this a coffee?!” he barked, twisting his face in disgust and then sent the almost full cup of the caffeine liquid back to the person who brought it. “What is so hard on adding three teaspoons of coffee, one teaspoon of water and then pour a water over it to the hande?”

He sent the employee of pretty quickly, stretching in his cheir and closing his eyes, kind of enjoying being Handsome Jack. The body double has done it for so long he almost couldn’t remember who cat-loving, always blushing Timothy lawrence was.

It didn’t take him too long to realise he’s forgotten the data disk. 

“Oh damn it,” he sighed as he got up from his chair and walked through a long corridor, until he finally got to the penthouse, quickly entering it and searching through Handsome jack’s things.