but come on guys this is hilarious

anonymous asked:

Fuyuhiko, Hajime, and Ouma dating the SHSL actress?

Sorry if these are boring I tried to make it as interesting as possible! 

- Mod Saihara

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu:

  • He didn’t really think too much of your talent but he could tell you were enthusiastic about it.
  • When you would ramble about the plays or movies you wish you could take part in he wouldn’t really understand too much but tries his best to show you he’s interested.
  • You two often go to the movies together at you don’t hesitate to bash on the movies awful acting, which Fuyuhiko finds hilarious.
  • If you ever need serious criticism on a role you’re practicing for, he’s the guy to go for because he doesn’t sugar coat things.
  • Every now and then you’ll need his help practicing, and when that happens he’ll read the script in the most monotone voice he can muster.
  • Fuyuhiko makes it a point to show up to every single one of your plays and will be the loudest one there when it comes to cheering at the end.  
  • On the rare occasion that you try method acting and become immersed in your role, Fuyuhiko finds it impossible to hold up a conversation with you.
  • “Hey S/O can you-”
  • “This isn’t S/O I’m Heather Chandler!”
  • “Oh my god damn not right now please.”
  • “Pfft what’s your damage?”
  • Overall he finds having the SHSL Actress as his S/O to be interesting.

Hajime Hinata:

  • Hajime can’t help but snicker at a lot of your antics, He knew dating the SHSL Actress would be fun, I mean he could tell that from your personality.
  • Though he didn’t expect you to be this keen and enthusiastic about nearly everything. He thought it was a bit impressive.
  • He’s genuinely curious about what got you into acting or why you liked it so much! What did you find so interesting about playing a different role?
  • Every time you ask him if he would like to watch you practice he gets really excited and will ask you hundreds of questions about the role and how much practice you have to do.
  • It’s better for you to not ask him for help practicing, especially when it comes to script reading.
  • He’ll either over do his enthusiasm or under do it and sound dead inside, there’s no inbetween.
  • He probably does it on purpose.
  • Hajime finds it enjoyable to see you critic movies and will give he will often add in on what they could do better.
  • Takes pride in being your #1 fan!

Ouma Kokichi:

  • He constantly insist that you two are more similar than you think.
  • I mean your talent is basically lying correct? You aren’t always feeling the strong emotions you imply you are.
  • He’s quick to make jokes on how you’re basically the SHSL Liar!
  • But Ouma really does love your talent! It makes for a lot of interesting conversations, not to mention when you’re script practicing, that’s really fun.
  • He’ll do the most over top acting he can, when the character is slightly upset he’ll scream and cry, if the character is slightly happy he’s bouncing with joy and grinning.
  • Ouma takes pride in having you as his S/O, not only because of how awesome you are but because unlike most people your talent is actually cool!
  • Believe it or not, he’s actually really good at helping you get more into a role and how to be more convincing.
  • I mean like previously stated, for him acting isn’t all that different from lying.
3

George Bush trying to put on a rain mac was the only part of the Inauguration worth watching

Besides the vast potential for hilarious shenanigans with the Reaper Trio (do we have a name for them yet, I know someone can come up with something better than that), I also just really like the thought of these guys as a family.

They’re home late from a mission so they all shuffle off to Taako’s place (where Kravitz maybe also lives?? or does eventually??) and Taako complains at length about how late it is but there’s a freshly-cooked meal waiting for them so they all know Taako’s been sitting next to his stone all night.

They try to tell stories about the mission but they’re all speaking over each other to make themselves sound the coolest - at least, Lup and Kravitz are. Barry isn’t nearly as worried about his perceived coolness; he’s been lovingly referred to as “nerd” for far too long now. If Taako (or whoever else is listening) wants to know the real story, he’ll just ask Barry later. Barry is brutally honest.

If there’s a uniform, Lup and Taako customize the trio’s. If there’s not, they come up with coordinating outfits. Kravitz insists he’s not wearing that. Lup insists that he is. In a truly underhanded move, Taako asks Kravitz if he doesn’t like the outfit that Taako personally made for him. There is only one right answer. (Lup made sure Barry’s included his bluejeans and gets a kiss on the cheek.) (The Raven Queen loves the outfits and soon everyone has them, including everyone in the office.)

Lup and Barry start acting sickeningly sweet with mounds of pda edging into what should not be pda right in front of Kravitz, so Kravitz starts talking loudly about what he and Taako did last night. The questionable pda screeches to a halt. Lup and Barry do not look at him or each other for the rest of the mission. Kravitz worries that Taako will be mad, but when Kravitz tells him, Taako starts howling with laughter.

Barry gets separated from the group during a mission and Lup is trying to act like she’s not worried, but Kravitz knows better by now. He holds Lup’s hand because he knows that’s a comfort thing with her and Taako.

They’ve all been away too long and they know Taako worries no matter what he says, so they call him and it’s just a mess of all of them trying to talk at the same time and Taako can’t make sense of anything they’re trying to say.

Kravitz keeps trying to use the accent. Lup and Barry also come up with accents to use. Kravitz stops using the accent but it takes the other two another full week to stop.

Barry loves the twins in different ways, but it’s nice to have someone else around who doesn’t spread chaos on a near-constant basis. Kravitz is a good choice for company during quiet moments, and sometimes when it’s just the two of them they don’t say anything at all. It’s a comfortable silence.

Barry and Kravitz are Not Allowed in the kitchen after nearly burning it down while trying to cook their significant others a nice dinner. The intentions were sweet. The resulting property damage was not.

alright but listen, just listen, hypothetically if lotor was the galra from the weblum, how hilarious would it be if he was just deadass convinced that he owed a life debt to keith???? like can we please just talk about a ridiculous s3 in which the big bad is actually just like “hard pass, this guy saved my life, not gonna kill him” or, maybe life debts are a big deal in galra culture and so lotor physically can’t be the one to take out voltron because it would involve killing keith in the process. i mean can you imagine how hilarious it would be to have to explain to galra generals that, sorry, their prince can’t come to the battlefield right now because the mullet guy pulled him out of a small intestine once

Be My Boyfriend

[ao3]

“Dean, be my boyfriend!” Castiel hissed.

Dean’s attention was pulled away from Charlie (who snorted into her drink) when Castiel grabbed his arm.

“Uh,” Dean said, feeling like he was missing out on some vital information. Castiel’s wide eyes were a little too bright and his cheeks were flushed with pink, indicating that he was probably a little bit drunk, though that still didn’t help clear up the situation.

“Come here!” Castiel dragged Dean by the arm across the crowded room until they stood in front of a short brunette who Dean thought was named Meg. Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean’s waist and squeezed him to his side.

“I told you!” he told Meg triumphantly. “I have a boyfriend!”

Meg looked Dean up and down incredulously. “You’re dating Dean Winchester?”

Starting to catch on, Dean put a possessive arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “Yeah, he is. Got a problem with that?”

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daemoninwhiteround2  asked:

your Voltron headcanons are amazing and hilarious and a gift to this world

once again i’m in awe that my gift to humanity is shitposts

  • “where’s pidge” “i don’t know probably planking on a robot or something”
  • lance is a treasure trove of very specific and random skill sets that come in handy at very specific and random moments
    • one time he goes undercover as a circus performer and manages to distract the bad guys long enough for the team to stage a whole prison break by juggling for half an hour straight
    • can totally pick locks with bobby pins
    • king of limbo, once avoided death by lasers by shimmying under them
  • “oh my god guys guys if keith were a superhero he’d be the sandman. get it. get it because he lived in the deser-”
  • keith and lance use the buddy system whenever they have to walk through the castle because they still don’t trust it not to kill them and there’s strength in numbers shut up pidge
  • not that either party knows this but hunk can deadlift more than zarkon
  • allura’s vibe is “don’t fuck with me” while shiro’s is “you could pour soup in my lap and i’d probably apologize to you”
  • *in the middle of a fight* pidge: “tag yourself i’m that galra guy who just straight up ran away when he saw us“
    • lance: “i’m the ship that just blew up”
    • hunk: “i’m the cold, crushing void of space”
    • coran: “can you kids lighten up a little???”
Abracadabra! You're pulling the rabbit out of where?!?!

Not really a fuck anybody but a positive story that I really wanted to share with you all. It’s a bit long but worth it. TLDR at the end.

I have 2 rabbits. I was told they were both female. They are not. Now I have 11 baby rabbits. One of the babies is quite a bit smaller than the others and he had squirmed out of the nest so he was really cold and stiff when I checked on him this morning. I was running late for work so I grabbed him and tucked him inside my bra to try and warm him up and then I forgot about him.

I got to work and was talking to my manager when all of a sudden the rabbit woke up. He stopped mid sentence and said “Did your boobs just squeak?” And he just looked so alarmed it was hilarious. So I explained why I had a squeaky baby rabbit stuffed down my shirt and then he called all of my coworkers over to come see the baby and we all had a good laugh.

He said that I could keep the baby with me while I was on register so I bought some kitten formula and a dropper and fed it whenever it got noisy. Animals are allowed in the store so nobody minded.

All day long customers would see my shirt randomly squirm and I’d show them the baby and they’d laugh. One guy saw me pat my boobs and say “Calm down I just fed you, you’re fine.” And he just looked so confused. 😂😂My manager said that if it survives it can be our unofficial store mascot and come to work with me everyday. It was pretty much my best shift ever.

TLDR: I freaked a bunch of people out with my boob rabbit. 🐰🐰

Jeff gets jealous after the two of you play spin the bottle

Originally posted by bluerangerpower

Request: “could u do a jeff atkins imagine where u guys are at a party w everyone else and he’s really cute w u and everyones playing spin the bottle and it lands on someone else, u can take it from there!“ 


You and Hannah were at Jessica’s party. Hannah decided she wanted to come because Clay invited her. Although it took some encouraging on your part for her to finally give in. You’ve been trying to set Hannah up with Clay since what seems like forever but she’s stubborn most of the times, claiming he "doesn’t like her that way”. 

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(This is bad quality but that is not the point)

HOLD UP
*Antonyms of Slytherin*
-Friendly
-Open
-Optimistic
-Accepting
-Warm
-Mellow
-Reserved
-Laid-back
-Kind

Excuse me?
I’m about to disprove every single one of these so make a cup of tea and get ready.

1) Friendly 

You can’t just dismiss ¼ of wizards and witched as ‘unfriendly’ simply because of a stereotype. Since when did being ambitious and being friendly become mutually exclusive? Yes, there are some Slytherins who are particular assholes, but what about other houses? You’re saying that in Gryffindor, a house that values bravery and all around cockiness people were always friendly? As well as that, the house that is known for valuing kindness is Hufflepuff. Are you saying that Hufflepuff and Slytherin are opposites? Yes, the people who make up those houses have very different personalities, but as always, there is some overlay, or Slytherpuffs would not exist. For example, Narcissa Black was almost sorted into Hufflepuff because of her fierce loyalty towards her family. Kindness is a basic human emotion, missing only in the mind of psychopaths, which is not the word I would use to describe Regulus, Slughorn, and the great Merlin himself.

2)Open

So practically ¾ of Hogwarts hates Slytherin and believes them to be heartless monsters, but it surprises you that they don’t seem open? Okay, Slytherins tend to hide their emotions from most people, but within a Slytherin’s small group of friends they will not hesitate to tell them everything, because unlike some other houses, a secret stays a secret. This is one of the words I could potentially agree with as I have found myself closing off from other people when I do not want to burden them, but my best friend knows everything about me as we keep no secrets from each other, something former members from the Gryffindor house (dumbledore) could not say, having kept a certain boy-who-lived’s inescapable early death from him for more than 7 years.

3) Optimistic

Yeah, okay I can see where the author of this is coming from with this one

4)Accepting

Okay we need to stop using common traits of Hufflepuff as antonyms for Slytherin! If there is one thing Slytherins are not accepting of then it’s bigoted behavior because “everyone else may think we’re evil but we will not sink to meet their expectations.”

5) Warm

Just because Slytherins will not pour their heart out to anyone who knows them doesn’t mean they are soulless. Slytherins may act distant from the other houses, but why would they have any reason to share their feelings with anyone who thinks that they are evil? We always know what to say to our closest friends, and have such big hearts for those willing to put in effort to try and find out.

6) Mellow

Okay so Slytherins may not be the most mellow, but like hell any non-slytherins would know, because if anything, we are good appearing calm and collected, but simmering with rage and hatred beneath the surface. Also, just because we fight fight for what we want instead of just waiting for the opportunity to fall into our lap doesn’t mean we’re hotheads.

7) Reserved

Slytherin’s may voice their opinion when they think something is wrong, because someone needs to speak out, however only if we think it will give any impact, or benefit. If someone acting really homophobic, of course we will tell them to sit the fuck down and rethink their priorities, but if you do so every day, it will lose its effect. We pick and choose our battles.

8) Laid-back

Laid-back is definitely something that comes with age. If you look at the first year Slytherins, then yes, you could say that they are not at all laid back, stressing until 2am about a homework due the next day. However as they get older, the fucks being given get less and less, until eventually they have perfected the art of needing a constant base layer of stress to function, and can therefore relax and not think about their fast-approaching essay due date until the night before, whereas a hufflepuff is running up and down the library halls with stress. You see, every house procrastinates, but it takes talent to be able to relax while putting off work.

9) Kind

This is the last one, and I believe the worst. Yes, may protect their emotions, but that doesn’t mean we are not kind. it is about time that people stop predicting our entire personality on Severus Snape, a guy most Slytherins didn’t even like, just pretended to because duh, extra credit. Please stop dismissing us as unkind, just because we have a slightly cruel (but admittedly hilarious) sense of humor, or occasionally enjoy intimidating people. Everyone knows this can be fun, we’re just the only house to admit it. These small things aside, just because we are not kind to you, does not mean we are without kindness, it just means we didn’t think you were worth being kind too, especially if you come up with this sort of bullshit list and all of your prejudices.

That was all my fellow slytherins x

road trip!peter headcanons

ok so i saw this post and i needed to write these it’s like 1.5k words and i think the next thing i post will be the second part of the harry potter au for all of you waiting for it!! love you guys so much

  • okay so all this boy wants is to go to disney world 
  • he’s eighteen years old at this point and he’s fresh outta high school and god damn it he wants to fucking hug mickey mouse
  • like seriously he’s dying to go and he’s never been able to because money was v tight when he was growing up and he’s considerate enough to never even think of asking may to take him
  • insTEAD you and peter plan to road trip it down to florida after buying your tickets with extensive research because disney tickets are expensive enough and neither of you feel like buying plane tickets in addition to that
  • you’re only staying for a day because you two are going to be struggling college kids come late august and no one wants to pay for the hotel rooms either 
  • so you get the one day park hopper tickets and for the two of you it comes out to $345.06 which is good because you’ve both been saving up for this since you were sixteen and had around $650 between you both so now you have $304.94 and half of that is going to gas money and whatnot bc you’re both v #prepared
  • so it’s road trip time
  • it’s mid july and it’s a sixteen hour drive and you guys are ready to get your disney on like peter is so excited and happy and he cannot stop talking about it to may
    • “we’ll only be gone for like…. three days ‘cause we’re doing most of the parks in a day. we got the park hopper tickets.”
    • “how fancy!” 
    • “i know right!!!!” 
    • “so on this extensive road trip are you gonna tell y/n you like them?”
    • “mAY NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT gosh”
  • but may thinks every time is the time for that so whatever
  • she has a bet that you guys will come home as a couple though
  • the bet is with herself 
  • anyways you guys rent the shittiest car you can find because it adds charm
  • you make a road trip mix that’s basically full of one direction songs
  • peter groans but secretly he enjoys listening to you belt out the lyrics to what makes you beautiful the way you used to in fourth grade
    • “y/n is this playlist really just one diRECTION did you seriously-”
    • “do you have a problem with harry styles???”
    • “no- no of course not!”
  • you take turns driving but peter loves it the most so he always extends his turns
  • he thinks it’s hilarious when you freak out because of his speeding down an empty highway late at night because he’s a little shit
  • a little shit that you love
  • he consistently asks to stop the car so he can take a picture of whatever scenery he thinks looks pretty
    • “peter it’s a fucking blade of grass stop”
    • “no but look at the way the sunlight is hitting it!! please!!”
    • “FINE”
  • he makes you play I Spy with him
    • “okay so round thirty five… i spy with my little eye someone who is very attractive”
    • “oooh is it that guy in the convertible next to us because wow”
    • “…… yep you got it. new game now”
  • he was talking about you but whatever 
  • he argues against wearing a seatbelt but you threaten to turn the car around and he really really wants to go to magic kingdom
  • you open up the sunroof that this crappy old car has so you can stick your head out of it and scream like sam in perks of being a wallflower
  • you now check that off your bucket list
  • he stops the car at every gas station just to make sure and then he buys fifteen different snack foods because “i’m a growing boy y/n i need nutrients”
    • to which you reply with “actually you’re not growing and this isn’t nutritious” 
    • “don’t act like you don’t like pop-tarts”
  • you do, so you share a pack with him
  • there are candy wrappers strewn across the backseat because neither of you want to litter
  • “are we there yet”
  • “no”
  • *five minutes later* *now whining* “are we there yeeeettttt”
  • “nO”
  • he’s bad at sitting still and always has to pee or eat
  • it’s late at night at this point and you’re freezing and you don’t wanna get out of your seat so peter huffs and pulls his sweatshirt off and gives it to you so you can sleep 
  • he acts annoyed but he’s secretly sort of happy in an embarrassed way because oh fuck you look cute and wow you’re wearing his sweater
  • you pass out on his shoulder and you’re drooling and peter can barely concentrate on the road anymore
  • it’s probably the way the moonlight is bouncing off your skin but like whatever this is totally just him gazing in a platonic way
  • except not really because he kind of is in love with you
  • peter takes a picture of you sleeping on his shoulder but he’s in it too making a stupid face into the camera that he knows you’ll laugh at when you wake up
  • peter pulls over so you can both get some sleep for more driving in the morning and he plays with your hair until he passes out and you wake up with his head in your lap because he moves around while he sleeps even though it does not look comfortable at all
  • and you smile down at this nerd in your lap 
  • he’s v cute and soft in the morning and you’re happy to know this
  • anyway you wake up really gently and you offer to drive first but he’s blushy and insists he can drive and that he got a perfectly fine sleep
    • “is my lap that comfortable then?”
    • “ummm. yes. okay so move over so i can drive haha” 
  • he finds a dunkin donuts and buys you can ice coffee
  • it’s your order exactly and you kind of blush because you didn’t really expect him to know the exact thing you order???
  • but he does
  • he’s just very attentive
  • boyfriend material is what you think but ignore that thought because like????? he’s your bff 
  • when you want to read he turns the radio off and insists you read to him
  • it’s quite adorable
  • you should be a lot more annoyed than you are about him constantly interrupting to ask in depth plot questions 
  • when you’re further away from big cities you beg peter to stop for a second and sit outside of the shitty rental car and stargaze with you
  • so you’re looking up at the stars and making up dumb names for random shapes you find
  • and you’re laughing and so is peter and you both just turn to look at each other at the same time and neither of you move
  • you can’t bring yourself to kiss him just yet 
  • he can’t do it either
  • so you reach over to hold his hand instead and he’s fine with that, too
  • you both just know at this point
  • so you get to disney and everyone assumes you’re a couple and neither of you really argue but you take really cute pictures together in front of cinderella’s castle and he finds spider-man mickey ears and wears them to be ironic because no one knows except you
  • it makes you roll your eyes but in an i-love-you-you-huge-fucking-nerd sort of way
  • you’re back on the road by one in the morning
  • only you’re both really tired so you stop for a sleep break
  • this time peter falls asleep first but it’s not a mistake when he winds up back in your arms because he sleeps well on the road like that
  • when you wake up he drives again 
  • you’re eating another s’mores pop-tart and it’s around eight o’clock in the evening and the sun is setting and end of the day by one direction comes on
  • you can’t help but scream the lyrics at the top of your lungs with the windows rolled down and the summer breeze flowing through your veins and he’s speeding down another road and you both can’t quit laughing and grinning and blushing and finally you look back at him
  • it’s just when you’re singing “you’re the one that i want at the day!” 
  • he kisses you
  • it’s quick because he’s driving and doesn’t want to crash the car
  • he ends up pulling over so he can kiss you again, this time better than the first because he’s been waiting for this and a one second press of your lips on his won’t suffice 
  • hands on the sides of your face as he smiles shyly at you and then leans in to kiss you again and again
  • you wind up making out on the road for an hour
  • nothing else except maybe some feeling up because you don’t want the first time you have sex with peter pretty boy parker to be in a car on the side of a road in a town you don’t know the name of
  • peter knows the name of the town because he wants to remember the place he kissed you for the first time 
  • aunt may wins her bet against herself
  • she’s very pleased 
  • peter really loves one direction now and ned teases him for it but oh well he’s gonna love harry styles until he dies ‘cause the man’s song was playing when he got his love to be his and like??? how can he not like them after such an event

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nurseydex/zimbits fic prompt

someone should write this because I can’t get over how hilarious this would be. i basically just wrote the whole thing in bullet-point format, but if anyone with actual storytelling abilities wants to tackle this, i’d love you forever

  • okay so bitty’s senior year, the only friends left on smh that he hangs out with regularly are chowder, nursey and dex
  • chowder is obviously his favorite because bitty took chowder under his wing and now they’re best buds, but chowder has caitlin, so it’s not like he’s there to hang 24/7
  • he and nursey are friends, but they don’t really hang out by themselves a whole lot
  • we know that dex likes helping bitty cook and bake from tweets, sketches, and extras (remember hausgiving?)
  • so during bitty’s senior year, dex spends a lot of time in the kitchen helping him bake and hanging out with him
  • maybe also to talk about his crush on how much he can’t stand nursey
  • anyways, bitty is out of the closet so the newest frogs are probably aware that he’s gay, and also aware of samwell’s reputation (1 in 4 or maybe more)
  • they come by the haus a lot and see dex helping bitty bake, and bitty constantly calling dex “honey” or “sweetheart” (because that’s just how bitty is as a person)
  • what do they make of this?
  • obviously dex and bitty are dating

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On My Own (Harry Hook) Part Two

Originally posted by adisneylover92things


“You swore you’d never hurt me”

“You swore you’d never leave me On My Own

Part One, Part Two, Part Three


“Tell me this is some kind of sick joke,” You remarked, staring at the two boys in front of you. Jay and Carlos exchanged an uneasy look.

“You’re telling me you took Ben, King Ben of Auradon, to the Isle where most people want nothing more than to see him strung up by his thumbs!?” You exclaimed, suddenly ashamed to be an acquaintance of the two boys. “And you thought that he wouldn’t be kidnapped!?”

“I never said we thought it was a good idea,” Carlos mumbled, looking down at the sharp look given by you.

“And now you want me to come with you on some sort of rescue mission to get him back from Uma of all people?” You quizzed, hoping it all was just some sick joke.

“On the bright side, you can go see your dad!” Jay tried to throw in before making a grimace. “Never mind, that’s not a good thing…”

Carlos worried his lip before his face lit up. “You could rub in their faces how good you’re doing.”

“I’m in.”


Your hands were shaking by the time you reached Pirate’s Bay and laid your eyes on Uma’s ship. The crew still looked as raggedy as you remembered in their war paint. They looked like a kindergartener’s finger-painting project gone wrong.

“Hey guys! They’re here!” A pirate you could easily place as being Gil, the loveable son of Gaston, called out to the crew below him.

You could practically feel your blood pressure rising when Harry’s voice filled your head.

“Welcome!” He called, pushing a terrified Ben to the Plank. Oh how you wanted to knock that grin off his pretty little face. Without thinking your hand came to grasp at the handle of the sword tucked into your belt. Jay gave you a concerned look, as if asking if you were gonna be alright fighting against the pirate if worse came to worse.

You just gave a nod before turning to train your eyes on the blue-haired sea witch, tensing slightly from your spot beside Carlos when she mentioned the killer sharks. Dumb witch, you thought to yourself. Sharks only attacked when provoked or threatened. Auradon taught you that.

Carlos nudged you slightly, motioning with his eyes to the hook-wielding pirate that was slowly but surely making his ways towards Uma and Mal. You may not particularly like the daughter of Maleficent, but you knew how unpredictable Harry could be, so you hopped onto the wooden railing of the docks, crouching down beside Mal with a hand on your sword.

You could tell he was pretending to not notice you, anyone could see that. But you could also see that your presence was unnerving the young brunet from the way he quickly started to fly off the handle. You could only grit your teeth at Uma as she gripped his hook and pulled him away from the two of you. Though, of course the flirt couldn’t without winking and blowing a mocking kiss in your direction.

It seems time didn’t change him at all.

As he made his way back to Ben, you followed his moves, not stopping until you were directly across from the pirate. You didn’t trust him to not shove Ben off the plank for no reason. Frankly, you didn’t trust him to not hook the poor King. The thought alone put you on edge. And from the devilish grin worn by the pirate as he caught your eye, you knew that he knew exactly what was going through your mind.

You could see the grin drop when Mal moved to give Uma the wand, before being stopped by the king. You could practically smell the smoke coming from the use his rarely-operated brain. Either he was dumbfounded that his captain’s plan actually worked… or he knew something was off, he knew there was no way Mal would give up the wand that easily.

You really hoped it was the first option.

You were relieved when he dropped the look, replaced by a grin at Ben trying to bargain with Uma. Maybe he was dumber than he looked. You knew it was a lie, but the thought made you feel better about your breakup all those months ago. Because, as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you’re a petty ex.

Panic began to set in once Uma demanded Mal prove the wand worked. You guys were screwed. But, like usual, Mal prevailed, using Dude-the-now-talking-dog to fake a spell.

“Give me the wand!” Uma demanded seconds later, holding her hand out. Was she always this demanding?

“Give me Ben!” Mal shot back. Uma gave her a grin before calling Harry over. Once again, you followed his movements to be by Mal’s side. You may not have been the strongest, but you knew Harry’s weak spots if Uma were to try and trick you.

You gave a slight laugh as you heard Gil inform Ben about how Gaston wishes he had finished off Ben’s dad when he had a chance. You knew it was true as it was the only thing Gaston ever spoke about. Well, that and Belle. And how incredibly thick his neck is…..You made sure to not come across him often.

Harry pushed Ben to the ground in front of Mal before drawing his sword, you made sure to do the same. You raised your gaze to meet his when he spoke.

“Aw, what’s the matter? Don’t ya trust me, lass?” He asked softly, a mocking pout forming on his face. But, it didn’t match the wickedness in his eyes.

“Cut him loose, Harry,” Uma instructed, eyes trained on Mal and the wand. Harry gave a huff, “I never get to have any fun.”

“Yeah, Harry, listen to your Master,” You remarked, smirking at the evil glare you received in return. Like you said before, you’re a petty ex.

Mal pulled Ben away from the two pirates as Uma rushed to the deck of her ship. Harry lingered, eyes not leaving yours before slowly following his Captain. You had to help Mal pull Ben away from the ship. He wasn’t the brightest King if he didn’t see through the plan. You suddenly worried if your life was in the right hands if he couldn’t tell it was a fake wand.

Uma quickly snapped the plastic wand in two upon realizing it was a fake. And then all hell broke loose. Smoke bombs and pirates alike were flying through the air as you suddenly regretted not practicing sword fighting since you left the Isle.

“Please don’t let me get my hand cut off. I don’t wanna look like Harry’s dad,” you whined before joining in on the fight.


Your eyes widened as you spotted Harry jumping into the water after his father’s hook. Though, you didn’t miss the opportunity to snatch his hat up from the dock. You placed it on your head with a smirk, “Mine now!”

Turning around and quickly ducking, you narrowly avoided getting your head cut off by an overly salty pirate. Pausing to giggle quickly at your own joke, you swiped the sword out of his hand, followed by a swift kick to the crotch that knocked him onto his knees. “Honestly, does she not train you guys at all? It’s almost sad,” You tsked, pushing him off the dock and into the water.

You cussed under your breath when you noticed Ben going against Harry, but then paused. Harry Hook, the son of a pirate, whom would try to behead anyone that dared look at his sisters wrong, was undoubtedly… getting his ass handed to him by a King that had never been in an actual sword fight in his life, literally with one hand behind his back. And it. Was. Hilarious.

“Y/N, come on!” Carlos called out, grabbing your wrist and pulling you to the tunnel after Evie threw a smoke bomb right in front of the pirates.

Pausing by the disoriented son of Hook, you placed his hat on top of his head before running to join the others. You spared the drenched pirate one last glance before disappearing into the tunnel.

Leaving him alone. Again.


“I know he’s on your mind, Y/N,” the voice of the daughter of Mulan filled your ears as you stared over the side of the boat to the Isle.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lonnie,” You replied quietly, even though you both knew it was a lie. You knew exactly who she was talking about.

“I’m sure Harry did miss you. He just couldn’t show it with that Uma girl there,” She soothed, rubbing your back gently. You shook your head, turning to lean your back against the rails. she had just been informed on the situation on the ride from Auradon to the Isle, when you had to explain it was the Captain of your ex boyfriend that had taken the king hostage.

“That’s the problem. Even when we were together he was always Uma this, Uma that, Uma- Uma!?”

You failed to hide your surprise (and rage) at seeing the sea witch as she made her way down the stairs to where King Ben stood. You and Lonnie shared a look before rushing over to Mal’s side. You were no expert on relationships- but even you knew that you definitely did not bring your girlfriend’s worst enemy on a date to a dance you’re supposed to be with your girlfriend at.

And the worst thing was, as she stood before you, dressed in a beautiful gown that matched the blue of her hair you could see exactly why Harry would want her instead of you.


“Harry, the cotillion’s on!” The blonde boy yelled to his friend, whom was busy brooding by the window of Ursula’s fish and Chips. Gil sighed, walking over to the brunet. “Staring at Auradon won’t make you any closer to her, you know. But you can see her on TV.”

The pirate stared at him silently before walking to the table in front of the television. He could feel tears well up in his eyes at the sight of you. He missed you a lot, and it took all of his willpower to not show it when you came to the ship. But, he was scared you would try to stay if you knew how pitiful he was without you. He loved you, and there was no doubt about that. But he couldn’t give you everything you deserved if you came back to the Isle. He wanted you to be happy, even if it meant being away from him.

He took a shaky breath, wiping his eyes.

“You look beautiful, lass.”


A few days after the Cotillion Disaster, you were called into the King’s office. From what the letter you received said (though you didn’t see why he just didn’t tell you in one of your many classes together) it was urgent business, not to be discussed with anyone else. You never thought a two minute conversation could have such an impact on your way of breathing.

“After seeing how harsh the conditions are on the Isle, I have decided to bring a few more kids to Auradon,” Ben stated, standing up from his seat behind his desk.

You raised an eyebrow, watching him carefully, “And what does that have to do with me?” You asked.

Ben cleared his throat, awkwardly coming to stand in front of you. This can’t be good.

“Y/N, there’s no easy way to say this after you risked your life to rescue me from the Isle so I’m just going to say it,” He began, arm sliding around your shoulders to give you a friendly, and suspicious, squeeze.

“Harry Hook is coming to Auradon.”





A/N: So, what do you guys think? Is it good enough to have a part three?

anonymous asked:

Possible Hiveswap spoilers, so only read this after you've finished playing I guess, But what do you think about the fact that Dammek has a camera in Xefros' room? Like, what the fuck?

I’ve been seeing a lot of discourse about Dammek already so I’m glad I got this ask, haha.

I mean. It’s obviously, transparently fucked up? We know it, the narrative knows it, Joey knows it and loudly screams about it.
Dammek’s treatment of Xefros isn’t on the up and up.

This, by the way, makes perfect sense to me in a way. I don’t think this means Dammek doesn’t CARE about Xefros–I’m sure, after all, that Pa cares about Jude and Joey.
But caring alone does not make healthy relationships. 

On a related note, Xefros has numerous references to being a Page–I’ll be making a post compiling those soon–and Pages have a recurring motif of getting pushed around and “helped” by friends who care but overstep boundaries. To me, Dammek seems like an extension of the trend–the Vriska to Xefros’ Tavros, or the Dirk/AR to his Jake, so to speak.

What their relationship will specifically look like and how it will grow and evolve, of course, is still an open question. Which gets to the heart of how I feel on the matter:

I’m seeing a lot of people say they HATE Dammek now or he’s TERRIBLE and PROBLEMATIC or whatever at this point, and that seems like…really really jumping the gun to me?
It plain old doesn’t make much sense to build up all this outrage at a character whose flaws we’re learning about here, BEFORE HE’S EVEN INTRODUCED. 

Yes, Dammek is transparently, indisputably being an asshole. Dammek is also one of the protagonists of this duology, who will get at least four acts to grow and develop from the point where he’s being introduced. Obviously this is going to be a character trait that Dammek will have to grapple with and overcome one way or another, because that’s what good stories do: Introduce characters with flaws and challenges, put them through conflicts, and have them overcome them.

Especially since it’s not even like Dammek is like Vriska. There is legitimately and truly no future for either Xefros or Dammek that either of them want to be a part of unless Dammek succeeds at his wild ambitions, and he’s living in a fascist totalitarian hellscape, so there’s pretty good grounds for him to be as paranoid and intense as he is. Not to mention that he’s doing that while being…you know, a damn kid? 

We’re talking about a narrative where it’s altogether likely that literal genocidal maniac TRIZZA TETHIS will be redeemed, given she’s completely and utterly doomed by the system and timeline she’s in, so that people are SO pissed at Dammek for…being KIND OF A SHITTY DOUCHE at, what, 15? is…short-sighted, frankly. 

Can’t we focus on how nice it is that Xefros and Joey’s new friendship is already helping Xefros come out of that mindset? Can’t we look forward to character growth instead of being really really angry about INTRODUCTORY CHARACTER TRAITS? 

So like yeah I think it’s good to keep in mind that Dammek and Xefros aren’t the rosy best buds fanon imagined them to be. But spurring a bunch of outrage or w.e is just going to make the fandom really insufferable to deal with when they inevitably reconcile or come to new terms of behavior later, as with Dirk and Jake. I am begging to the spirits above we can avoid that grisly fate.

But can we avoid fandom’s deadly addiction to outrage points? Alas, likely not. 

PS: Relatedly, I have never seen a guy be more friendzoned than Xefros blushing on that deercat in my goddamn life. The fact that people are apparently complaining that that was ‘hetbait’ is hilarious, because Joey was the one with all the gay coding in this game, and she did NOT look interested that way. Just thought I’d say that too while I’m here. 

au prompt, keith and lance are in the same class (maybe at the garrison, or maybe another college) and maybe keith is kind of this quiet guy never really talks in class and lance kind of gives him a glance but the class is boring and it’s more fun talking shit with pidge and hunk, the teacher has given up on getting the class to focus so he just gives the assignments and is like fuck if i care

anyway one of the final projects is giving a presentation in front of the class and when it’s keiths turn no one is paying attention not even the teacher is giving a fuck but this stupid presentation is fucking timed so keith just starts talking stupid shit that has nothing to do with the assignment like “the moon landing was faked” or “professor iverson is secretly a lizard man and will kill us as a final exam” and other nonsense cuz why the hell not? no ones listening

except for lance who got stuck at a table at the front and he was really dreading having to sit through these boring presentations but now he’s trying not to laugh cuz holy shit this guy is hilarious

and lance comes up to keith to tell him he liked it but keith is just embarrassed cuz fuck fuck fucking fuck this cute boy listenex to his crap and he books it to lance’s confusion

What It’s Like to Date Jason Todd While he’s Living with Roy

Request: Anon– Can you do a headcanon of what it’s like dating Jason and sleeping over at his apartment that he shares with Roy

A/N: Hope you like it love!

~~~~~~~~~~

-You sleep over at Jason’s a lot, and eventually end up moving in with him

-To be honest, Roy would be pretty oblivious at first that you’re there

-He probably walks in on both of you in the middle of a hot makeout session

-“Hey Jason, hey girl who’s making out with Jason half naked, I’ll come back later.”

-Roy would probably accidentally walk into Jason’s room after you two sleep together and pretend that it never happens

-He might walk in on the two of you doing the deed and ask you to keep it down

-Jason would probably think that it’s hilarious and proceed to be as loud as he possibly can just to annoy Roy

-Roy wouldn’t learn your name for a long time, just refer to you as ‘that one girl’

-You would get used to it after a while, and just expect Roy to walk in on you guys sometimes

-“Hey Jason, can I borrow your bike? Oh, hi Y/N.”

-Roy probably complains when you use the hot water before he can

-But he would definitely be grateful if you stitched him up when he came home injured

-Jason would be overly affectionate around Roy to claim you as his

-Roy might walk out of his room in the morning in a pair of underwear, and just kind of hang out for a while before actually getting dressed, because he wouldn’t care if you see him barely dressed

-You would find it hilarious whenever Jason and Roy bickered over trivial chores like cleaning the bathroom and taking out the trash

-You would end up doing chores around the house because good god, how do they manage to live in this mess

-You would end up just leaving $20 bills around the house as your offering towards rent

-When Roy or Jason slips in through the window and land upside down on the couch you  laugh until you cry before helping them up

-Every time

-They seriously need to either go in through the door like a normal person or learn how to land on their feet

-Roy would end up being like an adopted brother of yours after a while

-The two boys would argue over who gets to sit next to you

-You accidentally mistake Roy for Jason and kiss him one groggy morning

-It is never spoken of again, and neither of you tell Jason

-Either one of them will just walk in the bathroom while you’re in the middle of a bath/shower

-Roy would ignore your presence

-Jason would probably comment on your naked status, and you would threaten to drag him in there, clothes or not, if he didn’t shut it

-Definitely arguments over who’s paying for the pizza that you all decided to order at 11 o’clock at night

-If you get hurt, you can guarantee that the two of them together just about kill whoever’s responsible and take you to the doctor (even if you’re fine and just scraped up)

-Roy knows where to hide a body, and reminds you every time someone gets on your nerves

-If Roy brings someone home, the next morning you always make your presence known and threaten them with fire if they ever hurt your bro

-Jason thinks that you’re adorable when you try to be intimidating

-Roy would make a million comments regarding ‘the lovebirds’ but would secretly ship you guys

-You would definitely call them something like ‘my guys’ or ‘the brotp’

-A good arrangement overall, at least until someone moves or you and Jason get your own place

Your favorite authors are being threatened...

…and no one wants to take it seriously. (by me, a RQ blog)

Earlier this morning, various threats to beloved NYT bestselling authors like Victoria Aveyard, Leigh Bardugo, and Cassandra Clare came into the light on Twitter.

It started with NYT bestselling author of the Red Queen series, Victoria Aveyard ( @vaveyard ) retweeting this photo of a threat she had received in hopes of getting Twitter to do something about the threat (this is not the first time she has been threatened/harassed on the website)

*the second photo is not Aveyard, she was not physically hurt

Aveyard’s response: “Well at least now we all know what to do. Torn bc they clearly want the attention but I also want this recorded and seen. Blegh. No apologies necessary, guys. The fault is not with us. Twitter needs to do better to protect users from serial harassers. This bleeds into the issues with stan twitter. We get threats like this, be they real or “jokes.” We can’t differentiate. We don’t know you. You can’t support women defending against their harassers while also perpetuating a culture of harassment for your own entertainment. We see you making snide jokes about our weight and our worth and our humanity so you can giggle with each other. It’s not great but okay. But a direct threat? Come on. You can’t do that & cry abuse when the person you are threatening to harm responds. Twitter isn’t a vacuum.“

Twitter took awhile to suspend the account, and at first notified Aveyard that “there was no violation of Twitter’s Rules regarding abusive behavior” which led to many fans reporting the account even more and tweeting at Twitter directly to provide better care against threats. 

Aveyard’s final response to fans: “Again, account finally suspended. But the person is just going to make another. Thanks for all the reporting, people. It means a lot.”

Aveyard later was defending fellow author Leigh Bardugo ( @lbardugo ),  NYT bestselling author of Six of Crows, Crooked Kingdom, and the Grisha trilogy, after ‘fans’ claimed Bardugo would “come after [them] with her cane”

Aveyard’s response: “Not interested in calling out people but definitely want to highlight how ugly this behavior is. What is the goal here? Where is your shame? …can we just acknowledge there is something incredibly broken if anyone thinks this is acceptable?”

Bardugo herself responded to the multiples claims on herself and other fellow authors about the ridiculousness of the level of harassment and how it indeed must be taken seriously, as well as why the authors are rightfully concerned.

Bardugo’s response: “This is some spectacular gaslighting. Let me explain the difference since you guys are creating false equivalences… and I do this knowing that there’s no way to “win.” You guys have decided that somehow, by calling out a vile threat, we’re the bullies. What were the consequences to the OP? She told an author “big b*tch, I’m coming for you” then threatened to corner her at Bookcon & beat her. A whole lot of people had to say, “Even if you’re joking, this isn’t okay.” Aside from just being cruel and ott… We have no way of knowing if it’s a credible threat, if the person is unwell and actually dangerous, or just a kid who thinks it’s funny. We have no way of recognizing that person or persons at a huge conference event with fairly lax security. I take no joy in making a kid feel bad, but that kid came with a lot nasty vitriol and you guys thought it was HILARIOUS. Zero empathy. If you think me walking around Bookcon with my cane is A THREAT and not, y'know, a way for me not to tip over… I’m not sure there’s anything more to say. I told Cassie I had her back and made a LoTR reference. Pretending you think it was a threat… God this is tiresome. If you don’t like me, if you think I might wield my mighty cane against you, I’m super easy to avoid. For one thing, I can’t run very fast #criplife. For another, you know what I look like and where I’m gonna be. I don’t have that advantage. And honestly, I shouldn’t have to spell this out. I want to be excited about Bookcon, about meeting readers… Not somehow having to explain how I have the right to defend myself or my friends if I’m VIOLENTLY ATTACKED… I’m sorry for the negativity. I know it’s a tiny fraction of the community who think this stuff is okay.“  

Cassandra Clare ( @cassandraclare ), NYT bestselling author of the Mortal Instruments was threatened by more than 3 accounts with tweets suggesting she would be cornered and beaten up at future book signings (referenced by Bardugo above).

Clare’s response: “A few people have asked me if I’m looking for tweets about this whole BEA/threats situation. I’m not, but of course my friends/agent/publisher are. This is a really serious situation. No one I work with think specific threats to beat the fuck out of him in a place I WILL be, is funny or a joke. I don’t go looking - seeing negativity online is nothing I enjoy. But I do get sent links because no one is invisible on the internet. I think there’s an idea that threats, etc are not threats if the intention was that they not be seen. And the argument that threats are "fan language” - no one has a lock on specific kinds of violent threats. Whatever the source we have to take them all equally seriously… I hope it doesn’t take authors getting hurt physically (more than they already have) for this kind of thing to stop being ‘funny.’“

An exchange between Bardugo, Clare, and a few random ‘fans’ pointed out some were annoyed at the authors for coming to social media about the threats

After all three bouts occurred, Aveyard retweeted the following message from  Brittany Cavallaro, NYT bestselling author of A Study in Charlotte and The Last of August.

Cavallaro’s response: "Ultimately, what’s gained by threatening authors online and at events, at assuming that a small window into their lives via Twitter…or that you ‘know them’ because of their books and so have the right to harass them or push into their personal lives…the end result is that you’ll lose that access. Authors will not do events. Will leave social media. Will take themselves away… Because right now, I’m definitely not writing. I’m reporting trolls and wondering how it came to this, why some readers think it’s okay.”

Queen Aveyard gave some notable responses to a few rude tweets about the whole fiasco:


As for Twitter and neutral fans who do not see these as actual threats, please realize that these beautiful authors are real people. Words hurt, sure, but seeing things like this can be terrifying, whether they’re real or not, it means someone at least thought about it, and you never know what can break someone. Not to mention that responses like this are caused by such silly things as who an author writes as a canon ship? That is utterly ridiculous and unacceptable. 

 Authors are now wanting to leave social media and seriously reduce the amount of response time to fans because of bad apples like these. Do not be one of these fake fans. The books that they write belong to them. They come from their imagination and expertise. It is their job and passion to give us these stories. We need to find stories we like to love and be okay with stories that don’t go the way we planned because they are not our stories. Threatening an author is never an okay route to go to get what you want. Turn those angry fingers to watt pad and write your own stories instead of pushing authors away from the internet. 

((I don’t know if this has been done, so if it has please tell me.))

So I’ve seen a lot of those ‘Humans are Space Orcs’ posts and I think those are really cool, but unnoticed they all consist of one thing: humans traveling with the aliens.

So there are a lot of ways you can do that, right? You could go all Star Trek and make it to where the humans and aliens all live together in harmony and travel space together and things like that. But I have a different idea and I think it’s pretty cool.

So humans don’t really know aliens exist. Obviously you have your conspiracy theorists and loons and the occasional 'abducted’ person, but for the most part it’s just generally accepted that aliens are fun and all, but they’re not /real/.

And then there’s this kid. He/she/they don’t really have a happy life, but they can’t really do anything about it. You can make them whatever you want, have any or of disorder or disability or just make them an angsty teen that comes from an unhappy home. They want to leave, but they’re too young, so they have to stay.

Then of course, the aliens come. But instead of crap like Independence Day (I say crap in a loving way, the movie was pretty good and I like it), the aliens just take one look at the kid, pick them up, and leave. That’s it. Nothing else. Just take the kid and go.

Of course the kid is terrified at first, but after like the first day or so they calm down because the aliens are treating them like gosh-darn royalty. They put the kid up in the nicest room on the ship, give them the best food they can muster from their rations, and provide for any kind of entertainment the kid might want. It’s like paradise, and the kid is happier than they’ve been in a while.

So the kid travels with these aliens on all sorts of cool adventures and throughout this period is when we get the 'Humans are Space Orcs’ discoveries. Like the kid will go up to random giant furry beasts and just glomp them and coo at them while the aliens are like “No that’s deadly it will kill you oh my god what is this kid doing?!?!” Or, if the kid has a uterus, come time for their period the aliens freak out because “Oh holy shmarda, the child is bleeding!! Why is the child bleeding?!” Hilarious antics and shenanigans ensue and the child is so happy with their new life that they never want to go back home.

Also included: drama when the aliens return to earth to find a human companion for the child (even though they didn’t ask for one you guys don’t have to do this really it’s fine) and the parents of the kid demand they be returned immediately. The kid doesn’t want to go back of course so the aliens have to fight for custody over the kid in court (I guess idk but something along those lines. Maybe the humans try to kill the aliens because the kid was “abducted” and that causes a lot of angst and problems.).

Idk just something that’s been floating about in my imagination for a while. I think it would be a really cool show though tbh like someone hire me.

Suit and Tie

Written for: @gaybybirth 

Summary: Bucky is your date for a dinner party and you two sneak off to have some fun of your own 

A/N: Whew, this was a long one. I wrote this for one of my fav blogs and honestly I’ve had the worst writer’s block but this was so fun!! I’ll be getting out other requests soon :) Also please send me things!

Warnings: Bucky in a suit goddamn, Dom!Bucky, metal hand kink, fingering, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex (no babies here; wrap it up kids)

Word Count: 3.6k+

Originally posted by fvckmxk

Keep reading

Okay, raise your hand...

… If you kiiiinda hope that with all this universe-jumping and “rule breaking”, we lose our good ol’ reformed Megatron but instead earn…

… like all the other evil ones. All at once. Bayverse Megs pops out of a portal, screams something about wanting to cyberform the Earth. Beast Wars Megs shows up, twittling his fingers and just generally sounding perky but menacing. TFP Megs gets in there too, still partially hopped up on Dark Energon, and he’s glowing and growling and saying how he wishes to smite the last Prime. OG G1 Megs shows up, tries his best, but sees Bayverse Megs and just starts deferring to him (”Yeah, what he said!”). Energon Megs is just mad and huffy and confused and wants to go back immediately.

Why, though?

1) This would be hilarious to watch the Megatrons puff up and interact with each other. Or try to kill each other, idk.

2) It would give some of these LL mechs a little perspective. You thought YOUR Megatron was bad/ scary/ untrustworthy?? Get a load of these guys…

3) It would also be hilarious to see Optimus pop by like “I heard you guys left Megatron, how could yyyooo–” And everything just pauses, complete silence, broken by Rodimus who is like “OPTIMUS, HELP!” and all the Megs perk up like “Optimus? Optimus? Optimus?” and Optimus just ssssslllowwwllyyy backssss towards his space briddddggee…

4) Alternatively, our IDW Megatron comes back and is like “Hey everyone, thanks for waiting for me, you wouldn’t believe what I …. oh my.”

anonymous asked:

okay what about MC accidentally kicking or hitting RFA + saeran and V in the crotch? (*≧▽≦)ノシ)) dw guys this isnt dirty but just accidental (crack hc) i saw ur birth simulator post and just had to

We’re ashamed at how quickly we were inspired by this. Bless you, anon. This was hilarious to write. 


Zen:

  • You were in the midst of a heated make-out session
  • You pushed him onto the couch and went to crawl on his lap
  • You miscalculated the placement of your knee
  • And all you hear is a sharp squeak coming out of him
  • That’s when you realized
  • You’re apologizing like crazy, but he holds up a finger and shakes his head
  • “Give me a moment,” he says in a high-pitched voice
  • He needs more than a moment, and he’s on the floor almost in fetal position
  • You feel really bad about it, and ask if you need to…call the ambulance or something
  • He reassures you he just needs a few more minutes…quite a few more

Yoosung:

  • He was sitting in the kitchen, ready to make you one heck of a meal
  • He asked you to pass him a can of some ingredient you guys just bought
  • Your aim was slightly off, and the can went diving into his crotch
  • You guys look at each other…and you know what happened
  • You just hear a sharp inhale and there’s a few awkward seconds
  • Then he’s on the ground, on his knees, bent forward, and arms covering his face
  • He’s not saying anything…but that’s heavy breathing
  • You offer weak apology
  • All Yoosung wanted to do was prove that he could have kids

Jumin:

  • You were sitting on the last seat of the couch and he was standing
  • You turned around too fast and your elbow hit his crotch
  • You look at him wide-eyed, “Did I hit you?”
  • He tries to play it off
  • He’s leaning against a table, tightly clenching the side of his pants
  • He just shakes his head
  • You ask him again if he’s okay, and he again says nothing…but shakes his head
  • But then you say something else, and he responds…his voice the highest you’ve ever heard it go

Seven:

  • You were helping him build something or another
  • You were holding a pole, and you were goofing off
  • You twirled around in your hands, and didn’t hear him coming behind you
  • You noticed when the end of the pole hit something and he let out a grunt
  • You turn around and there’s literal tears coming out of his eyes as he crumples to the ground
  • You feel horrible
  • You kneel next to him, patting your own chest
  • “Get me back! Hit me in the boob or something!”
  • The crying intensifies…you don’t know whether it’s from pain or laughter though

Saeran:

  • He came up behind you  just a little too quietly
  • You see feel a hand brushing against your lower back and something soft brush your shoulders
  • Your instincts kick in…and your knee kicks out…right into his crotch
  • You two meet eyes for half a second and there’s so much pain
  • Then he just lowers himself to the ground, hand over crotch…small moans of pain
  • You feel horrible and you’re apologizing profusely
  • You’re on the floor with him, patting his head and running your hands through his hair
  • He’s just like, “Not helping, MC…” he grunts
  • He’s more careful about sneaking behind you now

V:

  • You guys were cleaning and there were a lot of boxes everywhere
  • You were brushing off a corner and saw a spider, but when you jumped back, you tumbled over a box
  • You didn’t see V behind you and brought him down with you to the ground
  • Only…your hand hit his crotch upon impact
  • It was a pretty hard hit, so he just grabs onto it and slowly turns around
  • You’re gaping in shock until your guilt hits you
  • So you’re just like, “Uh…do you need…an ice pack or…”
  • He nods sheepishly
  • For the rest of the packing, he’s hobbling around with a pack of frozen peas in between his legs
  • You make a mental note not to eat those later….

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