but basically life is getting in the way of online time

What we really need is an adaptation of the original 1740 The Beauty and the Beast

So were you aware that the The Beauty and the Beast story we all know is a heavily abridged and rewritten version of a much longer novella by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve?  And that a lot of the plot holes existing in the current versions exist because the 1756 rewrite cut out the second half of the novella, which consisted entirely of the elaborate backstory that explains all the weird shit that happened before?  And that the elaborate backstory is presented in a way that’s kind of boring because the novel had only just been invented in 1740 and no one knew how they worked yet, but contains a bazillion awesome ideas that beg for a modern retelling?  And that you are probably not aware that the modern world needs this story like air but the modern world absolutely needs this story like air?  Allow me to explain:

The totally awesome elaborate backstory that explains Beauty and the Beast

  • Once upon a time there was a king, a queen, and their only son
  • But while the prince was still in his infancy, in a neat reversal of how these fairy tales usually go, the king tragically died, leaving his wife to act as Regent until their son reaches maturity
  • Unfortunately, the rulers of all the lands surrounding them go, “Hmm, the kingdom is ruled by a woman now, it must be weak, time for an invasion!”
  • And the Queen goes, “Well, if I let some general fight all these battles for me, he’ll totally amass enough fame and power to make a bid for the throne; if I want to protect my son’s crown, I have no choice but to take up arms and lead the troops myself!
  • (Btw, I want to stress that this woman is not Eowyn or Boudica and nothing in the way her story is presented suggests that she had any interest martial exploits before or in any way came to enjoy them during these battles.  This is a perfectly ordinary court lady who would much rather be embroidering altar covers for the royal chapel and playing with her child until necessity made her go, “Oh no, this sucks, I guess I have to become a Warrior Queen now” and she just happened to kick ass at it anyway.)
  • And the Queen totally kicked ass, but the whole “twice as good for half the credit” thing meant that no matter how many battles she won, potential enemies refused to take her and her army seriously until she had defeated them so no sooner would she fend off one invasion than another one would pop up on a different border.
  • So she spent the majority of her young son’s life away from the castle leading armies, but it was OK because she left him in the care of her two best friends, who just happen to be fairies!  This was an awesome idea because a) fairies have magic, and therefore are like the best people to protect the prince from any threats and b) fairies consider themselves to be so above humanity that the lowest fairy outranks the highest mortal, so they’d have no interest in taking a human throne.  Good thing they were both good fairies instead of one good and one evil one!
  • (Spoiler:  they were not both good fairies.)
  • So the two fairies basically take turns raising the prince until he’s old enough to rule.  And on the eve of his twenty-first birthday, the evil older one comes into the prince’s bedroom.
  • “So listen, kid.  You’re about to become king, your mother’s on her way home from the war to see you crowned, and I have a third piece of good news for you!  You see, I’ve actually been spending so much time here lately because Fairyland’s become a bit too hot to hold me for reasons totally not related to me being secretly evil.  And if I have to hang in the human world, I might as well reside in the upper echelons of it, so even though as a powerful fairy I completely eclipse your puny human status in a staggeringly unimaginable way, since you’re about to be king and since my premonition that I should stick this whole guardianship thing out because you would be hot one day has totally proved accurate (go me), I will graciously lower myself to allowing you to marry me.  Please feel free to grovel at my feet in gratitude.  (Btw, we can totally start the wedding night now, we’ll tell your mother about it when she arrives tomorrow.)”

Keep reading

lets get personal.
  • 1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
  • 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
  • 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
  • 4: What do you think about most?
  • 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
  • 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
  • 7: What’s your strangest talent?
  • 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
  • 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
  • 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
  • 11: Do you have any strange phobias?
  • 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
  • 13: What’s your religion?
  • 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
  • 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
  • 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
  • 17: What was the last lie you told?
  • 18: Do you believe in karma?
  • 19: What does your URL mean?
  • 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
  • 21: Who is your celebrity crush?
  • 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
  • 23: How do you vent your anger?
  • 24: Do you have a collection of anything?
  • 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
  • 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
  • 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
  • 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
  • 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
  • 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
  • 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
  • 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
  • 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
  • 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
  • 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
  • 36: Define Art.
  • 37: Do you believe in luck?
  • 38: What’s the weather like right now?
  • 39: What time is it?
  • 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
  • 41: What was the last book you read?
  • 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
  • 43: Do you have any nicknames?
  • 44: What was the last film you saw?
  • 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
  • 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
  • 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
  • 48: What’s your sexual orientation?
  • 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
  • 50: Do you believe in magic?
  • 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
  • 52: What is your astrological sign?
  • 53: Do you save money or spend it?
  • 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
  • 55: Love or lust?
  • 56: In a relationship?
  • 57: How many relationships have you had?
  • 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
  • 59: Where were you yesterday?
  • 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
  • 61: Are you wearing socks right now?
  • 62: What’s your favourite animal?
  • 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
  • 64: Where is your best friend?
  • 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
  • 66: What is your heritage?
  • 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
  • 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
  • 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
  • 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
  • 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
  • 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
  • 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
  • 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
  • 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
  • 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
  • 77: How can I win your heart?
  • 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
  • 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
  • 80: What size shoes do you wear?
  • 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
  • 82: What is your favourite word?
  • 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
  • 84: What is a saying you say a lot?
  • 85: What’s the last song you listened to?
  • 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
  • 87: What is your current desktop picture?
  • 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
  • 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
  • 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
  • 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
  • 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
  • 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
  • 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
  • 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
  • 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
  • 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
  • 98: Ever been on a plane?
  • 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

20 things I learned at 20

1. You can have only one best friend and that best friend can only be you. Because you may come across a dozen lovely people but the only one who can keep the ‘forever’ promise is you.

2. Family is the most important. This is the only love that is truly unconditional and absolutely pure. They love you when you’re 5 and when you’re 18. They love you in your failure and your success. Their love doesn’t increase because it’s already at its maximum right from the beginning, it’s already infinite.

3. Cocktails and aerated drinks may soothe your taste buds but tea soothes your entire body. It’s warm and calming and well, healthy.

4. Your first kiss means nothing if it’s not with the right person. And the right person doesn’t mean your soulmate or someone who will never break your heart but someone who in that moment loves you as much as you love them.

5. You’ve written over 350 exams and you’ve got a perfect score in some and scored miserably in others but do you remember your 9th grade math score? Do you even remember 9th grade math? Education is so important but not the stress and competitive grading that comes along with it. If you get a low score or even fail, not much will happen – you will get a retest. But if you get ill – mentally or physically, it will have undesired long term effects.

6. In 8th grade your school psychologist told you that you’re one of the few people who walk in life with open arms loving and helping everyone, not because you haven’t bled but because you know you will heal and have the strength to do so. At that point you laughed at her but now, years later you’re loving, accepting and helping in spite of having both, actual and metaphorical scars.
You’re kind and admitting that doesn’t make you conceited.

7. Goodbyes don’t always have to be dramatic. Writing an 800 words message won’t make it hurt any less than an 8 words one. Closure usually has not much to do with the ones who wronged you but with taking your time in dealing with all the stages of grief. Some stage like anger may take only a month but acceptance may take years and that’s okay.

8. Jealousy is a basic human trait. They can be the closest to you and yet envy your happiness and life. Envy is something you too experience and you can be happy for them and be sad for yourself at the same time because so bitter it is to view happiness from someone else’s eyes. You aren’t a horrible human being if you feel like there are better shades of green your grass could be.

9. Read at your own desire and pace.
You don’t have to read particular books to qualify as a bibliophile or read a specific number of books to be a bookworm either. Read what truly interests you and take your time because reading was never a task, don’t make it one now.

10. Money is important. Money can’t buy love but it can buy happiness. But not blood money. Money honestly earned through hard work. That kind of money is good, that kind of money is required. You have a certain standard of living and if you want to maintain that after your parents stop financing you, you must make sure to earn the same. It doesn’t make you a snob or a spoiled brat, it only makes you a human aware of your wants, many of which have turned into needs by now.

11. There are somethings you just never grow out of like bubbles and glitter and your mother’s hot chocolate and hugs. Those are the kind of things that make life bearable when adulting gets too hard. Those are the little things that matter the most.

12. You cry. A lot.
But you don’t cry in front of people for their pity. You don’t cry to manipulate situations. You cry because you accept the pain. You cry because you don’t reject or lock away your emotions. You cry because your mental, emotional and physical self are in sync and that’s healthy. That’s so lovely.

13. Bake cakes. They don’t have to look pretty as long as they taste delicious. Paint canvases. They don’t have to be a master piece as long as all the paint in your hands and face and jeans makes you feel complete. Write more. It doesn’t have to a novel or even be posted online as long as it lets you breathe a little lighter and smile wider.

14. Go for walks alone, sit on the beach without your headphones, look up at the sky without a lover, buy flowers for yourself. Nature is legit free (for the most part). And it’s the richest thing that the world has. Le it bring you peace, let it help you survive.

15. Make home feel home. Sometimes you won’t have your family to make it home. Sometimes you will have to make it home by putting a part of yourself and that means investing the time, energy and money in making it feel yours, in making it feel right. It may not be your ‘dream house’, it may just be a tiny room but it’s yours. Your surroundings play a major role in affecting your mood and vibe.

16. Energy is real.
You may not know much about Science beyond 10th grade but you do know this, e=mc ² which means everything is energy, you are energy and there is positive and negative energy and you can feel it and you experience it in every person you meet, every place you visit, every room you step inside. You can and you must choose to surround yourself with positive energy. What you attract, you do get; what you attract you become.

17. Spend time with yourself. It’s some of the best time you will have. You need to unwind, you need it to re-energize, you need it to focus and you need it for peace. You can go to a cafe by yourself, write, read, meditate, talk to yourself out loud, dance in your underwear, cook and just be.


18. Take care of yourself- no one else can, no one else will. Drink loads of water, there’s a reason why more than half your body is made up of water. Sleep well because staying up all night isn’t something to be proud of, it’s stupid. Don’t skip breakfast because skipping breakfast makes you crave fatty foods for the rest of the day. Stay healthy not because you want to look a certain way but because you want to feel strong and energetic and have an active mind, body and heart. Staying healthy emotionally and mentally is just as important. So let those who want to go, go and never say yes to something your gut wants to scream ‘NO’ to.

19. Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself you will look for other people to love you. If you don’t accept yourself, you will keep seeking other people’s validation and the moment they withdraw it or walk away, you will crumble. And you don’t want to crumble. You want to enjoy the one person’s company you have to live with forever – yourself. Work on being a person you’d love to spend your life with because let’s face it, you don’t have a choice. It’s a long term investment and the only one that will never fail you.

20. In Shakespeare’s words, “To thine own self be true”. In order to love yourself, knowing yourself is very important. And knowing yourself doesn’t mean the adjectives that people use for you or what your zodiac sign says about you. It means what you know in your heart to be your truth.

One more for good luck?

21. You laughed and thought it was very witty when you came across the quote, ‘Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.’
but god. Can it be any truer? Most things you’re stressing over now won’t even matter 3 years from now. But good days will turn into heart-warming memories that will stay with you even 2 decades later.
Happiness and success are two different things but remember, they aren’t mutually exclusive. At least they don’t have to be.

—  creatingnikki 

Voltron actor AU where everything’s the same but Voltron is a live-action TV show and the paladins are actors:

  • Their names are the same in real life. They go by different names in the show. 
  • Keith and Lance still have a “rivalry.” Red and Blue didn’t originally have it, but when the cast first met and the directors saw how Keith and Lance interacted, they wanted to write it in. 
  • Shiro’s arm is still a prosthetic, although the scar is fake.
    • sometimes the makeup crew forgets the scar. literally no one notices until it’s the end of filming
    • “Shiro…” “Huh?” “…they forgot the sca–” “are yOU FUC–”
  •  Shiro, Keith, Lance, Hunk, and Allura all do their own stunts. 
    • Pidge is only 17 and their mom won’t sign the waiver for them to do their own stunts. 
  • No one really knows how their little production company was able to afford hiring Allura, who’s a big time actress and super talented.
    • they eventually find out that she’s a giant mecha/space nerd and came to /them/ asking for a role and willing to do it for free
  • No one really knows if Coran has a script or if he was told to just say whatever
  • Lance calls Keith “Red” so often that Keith thinks Lance has forgotten his name
    • he hasn’t.
  • The paladins, Allura, Coran, and basically all the actors boycott after season 2, demanding retribution for the way they wrote Hunk and Lance’s characters. 
  • Hunk has an engineering degree in real life.  
  • Matt isn’t Pidge’s real life brother, but when they first meet it goes something like: “baby sister!” “big brother!” and they end up inseparable.
    • Pidge’s mother is known for calling Pidge at work just to talk to her son, Matt 
  • Hunk and Shay’s on-screen chemistry was actually a real thing. Shay was cast at the same time that she was working in the costume/design department, so they’d known each other since the show started. 
    • they’re dating now
  • Every time Lance’s character hits on Allura’s on-screen Lance spends five minutes defending Blue’s character after filming 
    • “he just craves attention, okay? he just wants love!! he’s smart and beautiful and wants to belonG”
    • despite this, Lance is basically his character minus that shoddy writing in season 2
  • Keith and Lance have their own shipping fanbase. It starts out with just their characters, but then Some Mysterious Person starts taking candids between sets and posting them online and klance is born
    • it’s Pidge. Pidge runs five fan accounts. 
    • the pictures are super incriminating, but no one shows them to Lance or Keith
    • there’s a betting pool on when they’ll get together
  • Keith gets super into his roles and ends up genuinely upset after filming the scenes where the princess reacts badly to Red being part Galra. 
    • Allura gives him a 15 minute hug after
  • Bonding Moment Discourse is actually a thing. There was a prop malfunction on set while they were filming and the directors told them to stay put, so Lance ended up being Cradled for a solid half hour.
    • later, they find out that they could’ve moved and just chilled for that time, instead of actually holding each other.
    • “I get it Keith, I get it. You just wanted to hold me. Who doesn’t amiright??”   

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

Here is 10 things I tell my students on the first day of class about building yourself up into being a artist. This is starting point, not a all encompassing list. Hope you find it helpful!

1. Never stop experimenting. When you stop trying new things your style will get stagnant. Developing your style never has an stopping point, you’re going to continue learning and changing–that is a good thing.

2. Don’t draw to please a particular person or audience. It is tempting to draw something you think the person viewing it will like. It starts with drawing to please a friend/family member, then a teacher, and then a wider audience online or in person. However, consider drawing to please yourself first, an audience will follow in time and you will face a lot less burn out down the line. You’ll be hired for this, work you made out of something you liked crafting–not something you forced yourself to craft. Don’t make art that makes you miserable.

3. Learn the basics. Get good at anatomy (human and animal), perspective, creating depth, lighting, etc–then break the rules you’ve learned. Work, no matter how abstract, pushed, and pulled is always stronger when informed by a mastery of the basics.

4. Practice working in ways that do not hurt your hand. Learn to draw with a relaxed hand and draw in long strokes. Both of these methods help prevent issues with your hand, wrist, and arm. I’ve never gotten carpal tunnel, and I draw on a daily basis, because I have learned how to treat my hand well. Your hand is your tool, if you wear it out there isn’t a new one you can just pick up. The best treatment for any possible physical issues is prevention.

5. Learn how to draw without erasing. It is scary and it is tough no doubt! However the best way to become more confident is through not erasing. There is a medium for everyone to try this out, whether it is pen or non-erasing colored pencils. If you want to ease yourself into this method try out Pentel red lead, it erases a bit–but overall will always leave a mark with every stroke you make. The importance of this is learning to not be afraid of mistakes.

6. Draw from life, from reference photos, and from imagination. This trio is important, combining all three is usually how you build great drawing skills. Drawing from life gives you the ability to capture small details that you’ll remember to put in when drawing from a reference photo, drawing from refs will give you the practice you’ll need to handle whatever subject so that one day you can draw it from your own imagination–see how that works?

7. You’re art isn’t completely unique and that is okay. I can’t emphasis how many people I know who have gotten so hung up on being something totally unique that they burn out fast and never make work again. Now, considering how much art is in the world there is no way that what you create will be 100% unique to you. That is fine, your personality in your work is more of what makes something yours than a “style”.

8. Figure out your work’s personality. On that note finding the personality of your art is important as you go into trying to build your own place in the art world. The personality of a piece is a combination of style, subject, color, shapes, lines, and maybe most important themes (yes subject and themes are different). This combo is what makes your art special. At a loss for where to start figuring out your own personality? Compile a list of 10 artists you love. Why do you love them? Is it the shapes of one artist that speak to you, the line work of another is beautiful, the themes of a third make you feel inspired? Now take the 10 things you love about those 10 artists and start applying them to your own work. This isn’t about copying these artists, it is about the inspiration. That line work you love in another artist’s piece is gunna look different in yours for example. Those themes from another artist, well when you take them on your life might inform them in a opposite way. In time your inspired work will evolve into something that is your own.

9. Talent is nice, persistence is more important. Someone may be naturally talented in some areas of art, however someone who is persistent in their craft is so much more likely to succeed. Effort, continued growth, and practice will add up to so much more in the long run than just skating by on “talent”.

10. Be a good person. Treat others with respect, learn about social issues, don’t be a creep, and use your art to help people. And this might mean you craft a piece about an important issue that changes thousands of lives, or you might just be creating to help yourself get through the day. Both are important, after all you are a person too and you should always be trying to help and be kind to yourself.

Fuck it

lets get personal: send me a number
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
4: What do you think about most?
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
7: What’s your strangest talent?
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
13: What’s your religion?
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
17: What was the last lie you told?
18: Do you believe in karma?
19: What does your URL mean?
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
23: How do you vent your anger?
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
36: Define Art.
37: Do you believe in luck?
38: What’s the weather like right now?
39: What time is it?
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
41: What was the last book you read?
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
43: Do you have any nicknames?
44: What was the last film you saw?
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
50: Do you believe in magic?
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
52: What is your astrological sign?
53: Do you save money or spend it?
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
55: Love or lust?
56: In a relationship?
57: How many relationships have you had?
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
59: Where were you yesterday?
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
62: What’s your favourite animal?
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
64: Where is your best friend?
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
66: What is your heritage?
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
69: Biggest turn ons?
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
77: How can I win your heart?
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
80: What size shoes do you wear?
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
82: What is your favourite word?
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
87: What is your current desktop picture?
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
90: Turn offs?
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
92: where are your parents from?
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
98: Ever been on a plane?
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say

I’ve been thinking a lot about how old I am in technology years lately so here’s a bit of reminiscing for you kids in the form of stuff you’ll thankfully never know the pain of

  • having to rewind cassette tapes. you want to hear your favourite song again? no just clicking <<. nope, you gotta manually rewind that shit and keep hitting play to see if you’re at the beginning again.
  • like listening to your own music in the car? back in my day we had to bring a bag full of CDs and swap them out in our portable CD players. if the car went over a bump, the CD would jump in the player and the music would skip. eventually the CDs would get wrecked. I killed so many CDs thanks to all the moving around I did as a kid.
  • stifling the dialup tone when your parents were in bed. want to sneak online? good luck. I had the modem squeezed between my legs, with two pillows pressed on top of it, and still. crrrrrRRRSSSHHHHHHHHHHH
  • fucking. homepage wars. hacking was a lot easier back in the day thanks to no one knowing shit about security and nerds like my generation quickly learning more than the web developers did. this resulted in carnage if you owned your own webpage. it was commonplace for different groups to have wars and constantly hack each other’s pages and deface them. you could trust no one. you leave for five seconds and suddenly your state of the art homepage and all its lit wordart graphics has been replaced with a plain text message insinuating something about your mother.
  • an entire room in your house was dedicated to the computer. it was called the computer room. it was filled with wires you were constantly tripping over, and thanks to the fact you were on a desktop, there was no battery life. you better get used to tripping over your power cord or rolling back in your chair and ripping it out of the wall, therefore instantly shutting off your computer, because it’s going to happen multiple times a week my guy.
  • “get off the internet, I need to use the phone” “how long will you be?” “only a couple of minutes” *two hours later*
  • I’m pretty sure it was messenger that had this, but basically if someone ignored your message for too long you could send them graphics that would hijack their entire browser and pop up on the screen. they were huge and would sometimes make the screen shake and I heard rumours that some of them could even make noise.
  • this is one that’s near and dear to me because I spent like 60% of my childhood in a car but handheld game consoles didn’t have built in lights. I remember playing Pokemon on my big purple GameBoy as it got dark, holding the screen closer and closer to my face, and eventually having to resort to quickly jamming the buttons when we passed under a streetlight. I remember when the GameBoy Advance SP came out with a built in back light and I lost my fucking mind.
  • *is two seconds away from finally downloading a picture online that’s been downloading for 15 minutes* *someone picks up the phone downstairs* *internet disconnects* *download fails* *why must you hurt me in this way*
  • writing everything you wanted to say online in the raw html code because it didn’t do it automatically. fine if you just wanted to make things bold or underlined, a lot more annoying when you wanted to add an image or bullet points or something. no such thing as a quick rant.

this is really long already so I’ll stop here but long story short it was a dark time and you all should grab every technological advancement you can with both hands and never let them go. for the sake of my childhood self, nose-to-screen with a GameBoy. do not let them go.

Get to know me...

1) Sexuality?
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
4) What do you think about most?
5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
7) What’s your strangest talent?
8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
11) Do you have any strange phobias?
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
13) What’s your religion?
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
17) What was the last lie you told?
18) Do you believe in karma?
19) What does your URL mean?
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
21) Who is your celebrity crush?
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
23) How do you vent your anger?
24) Do you have a collection of anything?
25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
28) What’s your biggest “what if”?
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?
34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
36) Define Art.
37) Do you believe in luck?
38) What’s the weather like right now?
39) What time is it?
40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
41) What was the last book you read?
42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?
43) Do you have any nicknames?
44) What was the last movie you saw?
45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
47) Do you have any obsessions right now?
48) What’s your sexual orientation?
49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
50) Do you believe in magic?
51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
52) What is your astrological sign?
53) Do you save money or spend it?
54) What’s the last thing you purchased?
55) Love or lust?
56) In a relationship?
57) How many relationships have you had?
58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
59) Where were you yesterday?
60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
61) Are you wearing socks right now?
62) What’s your favorite animal?
63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
64) Where is your best friend?
65) Spit or swallow?(;
66) What is your heritage?
67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?
69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
77) How can I win your heart?
78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
80) What size shoes do you wear?
81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
82) What is your favorite word?
83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
84) What is a saying you say a lot?
85) What’s the last song you listened to?
86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?
87) What is your current desktop picture?
88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
96) Do you have any relatives in jail?
97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?
98) Ever been on a plane?
99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? 

get to know me

i know i dont really talk to you guys but i want you to get to know me. so heres 100 questions you can ask me, just send a number or make up your own questions.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

4: What do you think about most?

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

7: What’s your strangest talent?

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

13: What’s your religion?

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

17: What was the last lie you told?

18: Do you believe in karma?

19: What does your URL mean?

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

23: How do you vent your anger?

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

36: Define Art.

37: Do you believe in luck?

38: What’s the weather like right now?

39: What time is it?

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

41: What was the last book you read?

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

43: Do you have any nicknames?

44: What was the last film you saw?

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

50: Do you believe in magic?

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

52: What is your astrological sign?

53: Do you save money or spend it?

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

55: Love or lust?

56: In a relationship?

57: How many relationships have you had?

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

59: Where were you yesterday?

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

62: What’s your favourite animal?

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

64: Where is your best friend?

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

66: What is your heritage?

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

77: How can I win your heart?

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

80: What size shoes do you wear?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

82: What is your favourite word?

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

87: What is your current desktop picture?

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

98: Ever been on a plane?

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

3

I didn’t realize how misinformed I was about skincare until I started practicing a little witchcraft. I thought that apricot scrubs were good, oil was bad, and that cystic acne couldn’t be treated topically. Oh, was I wrong. About a year ago, I befriended a 30 year practicing witch who had about 14 years cosmetology experience at the time. Having just discovered Paganism myself, I constantly bugged her about both subjects. She taught me some basics and I’ve been using them ever since. They really work. And it’s a nice and easy introduction to spells if you’re looking to get into somethin’ spooky. 

First things first: Apricot scrubs are TERRIBLE. Any facial scrub that has granules you can see is going to put tiny cuts in your already irritated face and make your acne more susceptible to infection/irritation. She recommended using a mixture of coconut oil and baking soda to make a paste that will very very gently remove dead skin without causing redness. People with rosacea should avoid using any type of scrub, even though this one is very mild. Never exfoliate more than 2-3 times a week, and never ever do it two days in a row. When you’re done, make sure you put as much oil as you can in the trash can- rinsing it off in the sink will clog the drain over time. And remember- the thicker the paste, the more coarse the scrub will be. Scrub using gentle yet wide circular motions, timing yourself at about 60 seconds. 

Oil is not bad for your skin! Coconut oil has tiny molecules unlike other oils, so it can penetrate hair and skin better than other oils. Coconut oil is excellent at pulling your natural facial oils out of your pores without stripping moisture. After you use the scrub, use a warm, damp wash cloth to gently wipe away the oil and baking soda. You should always moisturize immediately after cleansing, but I’ve noticed that after using this cleanser my skin doesn’t ususally need it. Besides coconut oil, lavender oil, grapeseed oil, and sweet almond oil are also very good for acne prone skin. Tea tree oil can be diluted heavily and applied to spot treat, but do not use more than once a week in small quantities or it will make your skin itchy and red. Always always always moisturize before putting on makeup by the way!

As for the face masks! I have a face mask recipe that will reduce my pore size by like 80-90%. Seriously. If I used it once a week I’d have perfect skin, but I don’t, so even when my skin is at its worst, this mask still kicks ass. I don’t have exact measurements for everything (or anything really) so please be patient with yourself when making them. But that’s the beauty of this recipe- you can change it to fit your skin problems with a little research and a trip to the health food store. Side note: Do the mask right after you use the scrub. Otherwise it won’t work as well.

The base of the mask is this magical powder called kaolin clay. I buy it in bulk at the health food store and it’s cheap as hell. It’s just a mild clay that turns to putty then hardens in ten minutes. I probably use ¾ cup, maybe even a full cup for a mask. Just depends on how many liquids you want to include. Star out small and add as you go.

After putting a starter amount of clay into a small bowl, I set that aside and start on the liquids. I like to use tea instead of water. I make a teensy amount of hot water then pour it over green tea, rose petals, and calendula petals. Green tea is anti-inflammatory, rose balances pH, and calendula is great for skin. Try to buy organic so you’re not dousing yourself in pesticides. I set these aside to brew. The less water you use, the stronger the tincture, and the less time you need to wait. 

I only have a few essential oils, but if you do a little research, it is super easy to pick out some that are good for skin and are non-comodegenetic (won’t clog pores). I take my little bowl of clay and start adding a few drops of lavender oil, a few drops of grapeseed oil, a squirt of sweet almond, and two tiny drops of tea tree. Other options are ylang ylang (good for oily skin), chamomile (very soothing), and clary sage (for reverse aging and puffiness). I would say maybe 5 oils would be a good maximum, just because you need room for the tea. 

Add the tea by holding the flowers back with a spoon and pouring tiny little amounts into the clay and oil mixture, stirring frequently so that you don’t get it too thin. You want it the texture of Elmer’s glue. If a few petals get into the mask, that’s fine. Some people add loose green tea leaves to their masks straight up, so whatever’s clever. Then just smear the mask on, avoiding the eye area if you used tea tree oil, and leave it on for about 10 minutes. It will harden so if you want to drink anything you should use a straw, and the mask will flake a bit towards the end, so be aware of that. Once the ten minutes is up, just splash wet water on your face to turn it back to glue texture, then wash off with warm water. This may take a while. Then after you dry your face with a clean towel, check out your pores in the mirror! This is my favorite part because there are patches of my skin when I don’t have visible pores at all, and where I do, they are so much lighter and smaller. The essential oils must penetrate the blackheads or something, I have no idea, but it does what no Biore strips or Clean and Clear scrub have ever done before. 

Make sure you moisturize after ! I have really bad acne so I follow up with benzoyl peroxide (doctor’s orders) and a light drugstore moisturizer to keep my pores looking like this as long as possible. I recommend doing this mask once a week at least, but definitely no more that once every three days. And don’t pop pimples! Give these remedies some time and you will see a huge difference. 

One more thing: Rose water. I make my own, but it can be bought at $30 a bottle at Sephora. However, I don’t use mine that often because it’s non-organic, so unless you have the hookup on organic roses, you might want to steer clear. Basically all it is is rose tea. I get roses from my boyfriend frequently, so I hang them up to dry thoroughly and then collect the petals in a burlap bag. Once I have a grocery bag’s worth, I toss them in a pot to boil. There are lots of ways to do this online, but mine is very simple. Just bring petals to a soft boil, steep until it’s dark red, then let cool. I store mine in a massive mason jar in the refrigerator. I leave some petals in there to make it stronger, but you can strain them immediately if you like. Definitely strain them before using the water to make you life a little easier.

I use rose water as a toner between cleansing and moisturizing. It’s cool from refrigeration, which calms any puffiness, and it apparently balances pH. Another cool thing about it is it moistens your face right before you moisturize. Lotion doesn’t always add moisture to your skin, it often just retains what moisture you have. So if you moisturize damp skin, you’ll retain more moisture. Seems weird but it works.

The witchcraft comes in where you want it to. I like to put intention in the stirring; meaning I stir right if I want to embrace good vibes and positive outcomes, stir left if I have something negative on my mind that I want to banish. I think there is magic in the herbs and oils themselves so I don’t get too fancy or chant, but it is totally a thing for people to chant while making these kinds of elixirs. Tumblr is full of awesome little rituals! I just tend to keep it simple. 

So anyways this is basically everything I know about skincare, and it was all taught to me by a woman in her late thirties that looks like she’s 24. Kudos if you read this entire thing! Seacrest out.

99 Questions, ASK MEEE
  • 1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
  • 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
  • 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
  • 4: What do you think about most?
  • 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
  • 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
  • 7: What’s your strangest talent?
  • 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
  • 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
  • 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
  • 11: Do you have any strange phobias?
  • 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
  • 13: What’s your religion?
  • 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
  • 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
  • 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
  • 17: What was the last lie you told?
  • 18: Do you believe in karma?
  • 19: What does your URL mean?
  • 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
  • 21: Who is your celebrity crush?
  • 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
  • 23: How do you vent your anger?
  • 24: Do you have a collection of anything?
  • 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
  • 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
  • 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
  • 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
  • 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
  • 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
  • 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
  • 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
  • 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
  • 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
  • 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
  • 36: Define Art.
  • 37: Do you believe in luck?
  • 38: What’s the weather like right now?
  • 39: What time is it?
  • 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
  • 41: What was the last book you read?
  • 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
  • 43: Do you have any nicknames?
  • 44: What was the last film you saw?
  • 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
  • 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
  • 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
  • 48: What’s your sexual orientation?
  • 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
  • 50: Do you believe in magic?
  • 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
  • 52: What is your astrological sign?
  • 53: Do you save money or spend it?
  • 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
  • 55: Love or lust?
  • 56: In a relationship?
  • 57: How many relationships have you had?
  • 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
  • 59: Where were you yesterday?
  • 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
  • 61: Are you wearing socks right now?
  • 62: What’s your favourite animal?
  • 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
  • 64: Where is your best friend?
  • 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
  • 66: What is your heritage?
  • 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
  • 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
  • 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
  • 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
  • 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
  • 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
  • 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
  • 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
  • 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
  • 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
  • 77: How can I win your heart?
  • 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
  • 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
  • 80: What size shoes do you wear?
  • 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
  • 82: What is your favourite word?
  • 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
  • 84: What is a saying you say a lot?
  • 85: What’s the last song you listened to?
  • 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
  • 87: What is your current desktop picture?
  • 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
  • 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
  • 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
  • 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
  • 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
  • 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
  • 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
  • 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
  • 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
  • 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
  • 98: Ever been on a plane?
  • 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
Tips for driving while autistic

I feel like a lot of autistic people have a lot of trouble driving and getting their license. For many people that’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with that, y'all are valid in every possible way. Unfortunately, many of us live in cities where public transportation might as well not exist, in food deserts, in situations where we do not have people who can drive us places, in cities which make bike riding life-threatening and sometimes illegal. I would like to reiterate: there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being able to drive. The fucked up thing is a system which forces people to drive. This is intended to be suggestions for autistic people in similar situations to mine: in a food desert, no public transit, not enough money to pay for uber, etc.

Tips for driving while autistic and things to be prepared for:

-if you start dissociating and don’t feel that you can drive safely, pull over if you can. If there’s no clear place to pull over, get as far to the side as possible and turn your hazards on (this is the button with two red triangles, one inside of the other)

-keep plenty of water in the car. Keep food in the car too, but to prevent mice and rats from being tempted to investigate, keep the food in tightly sealed containers.

-if you miss the turn, it’s ok. I promise, it’s ok. Just take the next turn. Usually you’ll still be able to get to your destination by taking the next turn, and if not, it’ll give you a chance to pull over and re-evaluate or turn around.

-people will use some body language to indicate what they are intending to do. A waving hand means, “you go ahead of me.” A still hand, palm out means, “I’ll go first/thank you.”

-if you’re driving down a street too narrow for two cars, and you meet a car going in the opposite direction, just pull over for a second. Or if it’s super narrow, someone may have to back out of the street. It’s not a big deal. Try to be nice in those situations and they usually will be too. For that matter, sometimes I have to swerve slightly into the lane of incoming traffic because of bicycles and that happens too. People around you will do their best to compensate, but try to make sure you’re giving them enough time and warning for them to compensate (use your turn signal or hazards and spend as little time in the wrong lane as possible).

-no one wants to crash. Usually if you do something stupid the people around you will compensate and avoid you, although you might get some honks and middle fingers (yeah, mentally prepare for that)

-in terms of speed limit, it’s usually better to match the cars around you. The actual speed on a road is usually about 5mph over the posted speed limit.

-it doesn’t matter if you are going 15mph over the speed limit. There are still assholes who will tailgate you. (Meaning they will drive really close behind your car attempting to intimidate you into driving faster) The key thing to remember is that they also don’t want to crash, which means all they will do is intimidate. Because I’m an asshole and I hate tailgaters, I usually slow down when someone starts tailgating me. Remember: do not start driving faster. Police will ticket the person in front (aka you) because that person is “setting the speed” and they will not ticket the tailgater.

-parking is stressful, especially in downtown areas. Be prepared to wander for a while looking for parking and factor that into your drive time.

-some places no longer require you to learn to parallel park. Please learn anyway if you feel able. It will make finding parking a lot easier later on.

-bicycles will always be where you least expect them. Always. Especially if it’s illegal for them to be there. Just be prepared for them being anywhere and everywhere and not following the laws of traffic at all.

-the first time it rains or snows in the fall/winter, literally everyone will have forgotten how to drive. It’s a thing. Be prepared for the roads to be chaotic

-the most difficult part is the test itself. That’s the part where you disregard everything I’ve said about how driving actually works and just obey the letter of the law the best you can. Don’t forget you can retake the test if need be. Also, there will often be reviews online talking about which DMV in your area has the easiest test route.

-I try to do meditation breathing a lot while I’m driving under stressful circumstances. It’s very helpful for me

I hope this is helpful. If anyone else has any other tips for driving while autistic, I would be glad to hear them.

Edit: I can’t believe I forgot this! I’ve found that certain types of stimming can be somewhat dangerous while driving. I’d say chewing stims are fine, vocal stims are cool, but I would hold off on the visual and physical motion stims until you’ve had quite a bit of driving practice. Auditory stims are somewhat ok, but be careful to make sure you can still hear sirens and stuff (also earbuds/headphones while driving are illegal in many places)

-turn signals can basically function as a way of telling people around you “hey, pay attention! I’m about to do something!” Even if you’re just changing lanes or are swerving around an open car door you can use them to communicate that people should be ready for you to do something unexpected.

-traffic will stop much more quickly than you expect. Always keep an eye on the brake lights ahead of you.

Tips For Those Who Are Considering Witchcraft

Deciding to practice witchcraft and magick can be equally daunting and exciting.  Here are some tips about what to do if you are thinking about becoming a witch!

—————————————————————-

First, a few things that you should NOT do:

1.    Do not do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, period.  Trust your intuition, and always stay true to yourself.

2.    Do not do anything that puts you in danger.  This includes casting a spell without protection, or opening yourself to spirits before you know what you are doing.  This also includes running out in the middle of a storm to collect rain water, or agreeing to meet a witch that you met online, alone.  Use common sense in all matters of your craft; your safety and health, both physical and mental, must come first.

3.    Do not do anything that contradicts your own personal, spiritual, moral, ethical, or other beliefs.  Unless you plan on changing what you believe, just don’t do it.  It doesn’t matter if everybody and their familiar is doing something; if it doesn’t agree with you, walk away from it.

4.    Do not start actually practicing anything witchcraft-related until you have researched it.  Do not do a spell until you have a working understanding of magick, as well as all of the ingredients involved in the spell – even ones you intend to substitute (especially the ingredients that you intent to substitute, actually).

5.    Don’t take witchcraft lightly. Your craft doesn’t need to be all serious spells and spiderwebs, but you do need to have a healthy respect for the energies and powers that you will be working with.  You shouldn’t fear them - never work with anything that makes you afraid - but you should respect them.

6.    Don’t take your studies lightly. Put yourself through witch school. Research everything; ask yourself questions and give yourself homework.  Ask others questions and ask them to give you homework!  Be creative in your studies, but still take them seriously.  You don’t have to be hunched over spellbooks all day, but you should make an effort to at least mentally review your existing knowledge, on days that you can’t find the time for more.  

7.    Do not be afraid to ask questions or for help – but do not automatically assume that everybody actually knows the answer.  Most witches around here will do their best to answer your questions, but they’ll also usually straight tell you if they don’t know something themselves; you should respect that, whether or not they point you in the direction of somebody else.  On the other hand, if something sounds wrong, trust yourself and double check.  Get a second opinion, if need be.  

—————————————————————-

Next, a few things that you should know before you enter the world of witchcraft:

1.    Witchcraft is real, and magick is real.  Whether or not you believe in it, it believes in you (as the saying goes).  Approaching magick as if you were cosplaying Harry Potter is an attractive but ultimately unwise idea.  Approaching magick as if you were learning to operate a highly beneficial but potentially dangerous piece of machinery – now, that is a wise idea.

2.    Witchcraft isn’t inherently evil, but neither is it inherently pure good.  Witchcraft is power, plain and simple.  It is what one chooses to do with that power that gives it such meaning, and even then, the concept of good and evil is an ethical and spiritual one, and thereby tends to vary from person to person, and from witch to witch.  You have to use your own morals to guide you.  The only type of magick that should be in your witchcraft is the magick you intentionally choose to put there.  On a related note: I personally don’t agree with classifying magick as ‘black magick’ or ‘white magick’, period – not because magick can’t have precise descriptors, but because there’s no need to use terms that have such negative racial undertones.  Light can be harmful and ‘evil’, while darkness can be protective and ‘good’. Your intentions aren’t “to do dark” or “to do light”, anyway.  Your intentions are “to do harm” or “to do healing”; your intentions are “to take away” or “to give”.

3.    Witchcraft is a personal practice. You do not need to follow any one specific path, spiritual or otherwise, in order to practice witchcraft.  There are many different types of witches, and many different types of magick.  If there is not one specific path that you feel is absolutely perfect for you, don’t choose one that feels ‘close enough’ – walk your own path and mold your witchcraft into something that is uniquely yours.  

4.    Witches worship in varying ways.  Some do not worship at all, and are purely secular witches.  Some are simply spiritual and do not follow one set path. Some are polytheists and worship many gods; some are monotheists and worship one.  Some are atheists and worship none!   Some are Wiccan.  Some are Christian.  Some are Satanists.  Some worship ancestors.  Some worship the stars.  Witchcraft is a personal practice, and should co-exist with all other aspects of your life.

5.    You don’t need a whole lot to get started.  Twigs can be used as wands; rock quartz can be used as a crystal.  Tea mixes contain herbs, and your spice cabinet is basically a magick cabinet.  Most of what is in your house can be used for magick, for that matter.  While it is definitely helpful to have the proper tools and ingredients when performing magick, it is possible to DIY your way through witchcraft until you can afford otherwise.  Also, it is probably smarter to wait a second before you run out and purchase anything, anyway.  As you learn more, you’ll start to see which tools you really need, which ingredients you’ll likely be using the most, which items really call out to you.  If you run out and buy everything that you see right away, you risk wasting money on things that just don’t work for you, or that you don’t even need.

—————————————————————-

Lastly, here are the things that you DO need to do, no matter what:

o    Be true to yourself.  Do not compromise yourself or your beliefs.

o    Be safe.  Don’t do or use anything that you do not have a working knowledge of.

o    Be educated.  Never stop seeking out new knowledge; try to learn something new daily.

o    Use common sense.  Don’t get caught up in things; think before you take action.

o    Trust your intuition and instinct.  We often know more than we consciously realize.

o    Be creative.  Write the spell that you’ve been looking for.  See what is laying around the house that you can use for your witchcraft.  Be inventive!

o    Have patience.  Learning takes time; magick takes time; developing your craft takes time.

That’s it for the moment!  Tune in tomorrow for a post regarding more tips and information on what to do when you do decide to go ahead enter the world of witchcraft ^_^

~Tari

Honestly there IS a problem with how sex and desire are presented to us consistently in our society, there is a problem with people normalizing predatory behaviors, or framing normal feelings as something predatory, the use of violent language when we talk about being into someone (”I’d hit that” or whatever, though I don’t think people really say that anymore, there are other phrases that are similar in tone though) - there is a problem with sexual harassment, with people - especially people of colour - being fetishized and sexualized in predatory ways, etc. And it’s totally normal and okay to see this going on and realize that it makes you profoundly alienated and uncomfortable. Every non-predatory person feels uncomfortable with this sort of thing to some degree. Even straight, white, cis dudes who I am friends with have expressed to me that they are almost always profoundly uncomfortable with the ways they feel like they are expected to experience and act on attraction to women - even the people who are THE most privileged by this system are alienated by it unless they are, straight up, just rapists. This is because this is rape culture.

The problem I have with asexual politics on tumblr and elsewhere online is that it seems like a lot of people felt this discomfort and alienation and instead of considering that maybe the vast majority of human beings also feel this way - and instead of critically analyzing how racism, misogyny, homophobia, etc are all major factors in this - they decided that in fact, only a small minority of people are uncomfortable with this, and that this represents not a complex combination of intersecting oppressions, but some kind of monolithic “sexual culture” that privileges anyone who experiences “sexual attraction” (defined in this case as something that makes you fundamentally embraced by and comfortable with this “sexual culture” and is otherwise pretty intangible and often poorly defined and split into so many subtypes as to be inherently meaningless) and uniformly oppresses people who don’t want to have sex all the time (OR people who do want to have sex all the time but use specific language to talk about how they want sex all the time), who, again, are in this way of thinking considered to be a statistical minority. 

It’s a fact that people can have vastly different libidos, that sex can be really important for some people and not as important for others, like, it’s cool to talk about this and maybe even have language to describe the specific relationship you have to sex and your sex drive (be it as it may). It is NOT a fact that if you just don’t use a specific lingo to talk about your sex life or lack of a sex life, that is an indication that rape culture does not harm or alienate you - and, it is actively regressive to act like what is considered to be “sexual culture” or whatever is not, on a basic level, just rape culture. This is why, while I totally get wanting to have access to and use specific labels AS SELF-DESCRIPTORS, I am opposed to this dichotomy that’s been created between “asexuals” and “allosexuals”.

I hope this is clarifying or whatever.

HOW NOT TO DRAW ARCHERY: AN ART TUTORIAL.

DISCLAIMER: I was going to make this “how to draw archery”, but that would probably have taken the rest of my life. This is all stuff I’ve learned from practicing archery in the past, and the tips I’ve given should translate to many, if not all styles of archery. If you take issue with any of the information given here please contact me, as I’m aware I’m not an expert!

Okay, I’ve seen too many bad drawings of archery online. Most of the time I can overlook it, but I’ve made this guide to address drawings where a) the character would hurt/maim themselves if they shot like that, or b) if you tried to shoot like that, the arrow would just make a sad trajectory to the ground, the aerodynamic equivalent of a “WAH-WAH” on a trumpet.

With this in mind:

POINT ONE: WHY IS YOUR ARM LIKE THAT

If successful archery is about one thing, it is about consistency - being able to make your body take exactly the same stance over and over and over again. Your body is a key part of the weapon, and just as you wouldn’t want a gun that had components that wobbled and shifted, you don’t want your body to.

With this in mind, characters shooting, particularly at full draw (this is when the arm pulling the string is stretched all the way back), should have the arm that is holding the bow straight. Not locked - I’ll get into that - but straight. A straight arm is easy to replicate - a bent arm could be at a different angle each time. Simple as that.

POINT TWO: DON’T SHOOT YOUR TIT OFF

See this diagram

the dotted line is the path the string will take. The string is extremely tight - it has to be for the bow to work. It will therefore move extremely fast. Do you want any part of your body to be in the way of that.

if you have any part of your body (elbows and breasts/pectoral muscles tend to be the worst offenders) in the line of the string, they will get hit. And this will hurt. A LOT. Google “archery bruise” to see how. Yikes. Furthermore, if your arm or chest gets in the way, it’ll knock the arrow off course, and in addition to having sliced your nipple off you’ll have missed your shot too. So KEEP STUFF OUT OF THE PATH OF THE STRING.

side note: this is where the myth of amazons chopping their boobs off came from. Also, why archers sometimes wear chest-guards - this looks like a one-cupped unisex bra. Stylish. Also why archers often wear protective gear called a bracer. This goes on the tender inside of the arm and wrist that might get clipped by the string, not the outside that is nowhere near it.

POINT THREE: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR FINGERS STOP THAT

Okay I keep seeing this

Having the fingers clasping the arrow like this makes it highly likely that the pressure from them will send the arrow off-course.

Many modern bows have an arrow rest so you needn’t rest the arrow on your hand at all. If that isn’t the case, it works better to rest the arrow on the first knuckle of the index finger (where it meets the hand). If it’s just being used as a platform, the finger shouldn’t be able to exert enough pressure to make the shot go all over the place. Also you won’t end up shredding your fingers with the fletchings.

Talking of that…

POINT FOUR: DON’T SLICE YOUR FINGERS OFF

remember what I said earlier about how incredibly taut bowstrings are

imagine pulling that back with your soft fleshy fingers

it is basically like cheesewire through…soft fleshy fingers.

Use protection. Illustrated below are the tab and archery glove, or just go to google or something, stop the madness.

POINT FIVE: PHYSICS DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT

A strung bow is taut. The body of the bow is pulled by the (very tight) string, making a D shape. An unstrung bow will be straighter.

The tension in the string means a string should always be a straight line. If the bow is drawn, it’s two straight lines. 

If there is any curve in the string, the arrow will probably fall limply to the floor.

ALSO. When the string is drawn back, it exerts more pressure on the bow, creating that really exaggerated curve. This is where the power comes from. (I think. I am not physics). Basically, if you’re drawing a character at full draw, the string should be straight and the bow should be curved. If the opposite is true something very wrong has happened and you should be sad.


OKAY! I hope this has been helpful, if you have any questions or concerns let me know. And if in doubt, doctor google will help you - look at olympic or professional archers, and see how they’re standing and how their bows behave.

GOOD LUCK DRAWING!

Centering whiteness in the craft.

I’ve been into the occult for as long as I can remember. At 8 I was checking out books on satanism, vampirism, and witchcraft from the library, at 10 I started doing my own spells and interacting with Faefolk, at 13 my mom told me about the spell work she used to do growing up. I have grown a lot since those days of building fairy houses in my front yard out of rocks and flowers and leaving little offerings of honey or juice in exchange for good luck or help finding something I lost, and in those years of navigating the pagan and witch communities both online and off, reading books nonstop, blogs nonstop, etc, I noticed a trend. 

Paganism, the occult, and the craft are all very very white. Not only that but whiteness is centered as the one and only way to participate in these interests. First it started in the wiccan books I read as a child, the “white vs. black” magic that is shoved down the throats of aspiring wiccans and witches and eventually they spew it back at anyone else who will listen. If you’ve been on my blog a bit, you already know my gripe about white or black magic. If you haven’t browsed my blog or been there for my rants here is the nitty gritty: The idea at it’s simplest is rooted in colorism and racism, where white is seen as good and black or darkness seen as bad, this trope has been carried over into many different movies and books featuring magic as the villian who usually practices “black” magic has darker features, dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair, while the good characters practice white magic and as such represent purity with their fair skin and hair and eyes. Not only this but historically the magic and practices of those of color, brown and black people, have been demonized for centuries while magic performed by white people are seen as some kind of fairy tale, quirky, beautiful, sipping tea by a potted plant, aesthetic. 

Keep reading

Contacting Spirit Guides and other entities

If you have questions, message me. Spirit work is no joke!

Before we go over the steps of real contact with spirit, let’s go over some warnings and some advice on technique. This guide will work for calling any spirit, whether it be a fluffy unicorn bunny or something extremely uncomfortable and dangerous. It’s like picking up the phone: anyone can be on the other end.

When you do spirit work, you are interacting with a real world filled with infinitely many, and infinitely varied, beings.

  • There are some spirits that prey on humans like wolves prey on rabbits.
  • There are some spirits that are extremely kind and helpful.

In my experience, whatever you call will come.

If you leave your request open-ended, anything may come to you.

The more specific you are, the better.

But you must understand what you are doing when you call spirits to you.

For example:

  • “Spirits of light, come to me!” Many demons are considered to be “of light”, as well as gods you may be uncomfortable dealing with (Lucifer comes to mind).
  • “All spirits of darkness, leave me!” Well, spirits of all nocturnal animals could be interpreted as being spirits of darkness. The essence of storms and night-time, or even a spirit of sleepiness, could be considered spirits of darkness. Are you sure these are forces you want to send away?

Do not use poetic language. Speak plainly.

Instead of using flowery language, simply say what you mean.

Begin by writing down your intent.

  • What kind of spirit do you want to interact with? (Good, evil, nice, kind, mean? Nature, elemental, bunny, unicorn, demon?)
  • What is your purpose for calling this spirit? (Searching for a guide/guardian/teacher/friend? Have questions to ask? Need help with magic?)
  • How powerful do you believe this spirit will be? Is it going to be more powerful than your abilities to banish it? Never call up what you cannot put down.
  • What do you have to give back to this spirit? (Offerings? Time? Energy?)

In my experience, all spirits get something out of an interaction with a human. It could simply be that their curiosity is sated. A spirit could just be curious as to what kind of human is sending out a call in to their world! It could be that helping or aiding you assists their calling in life or a job they currently have. It could also be that they would like some kind of payment in return, such as offerings of incense, food, or drink. If you have the ability and inclination, have some small offerings on hand. Coffee, tobacco, any foods (I find they seems to like processed foods less), and any alcohols are good. Even a glass of fresh water and/or a little incense will be good.

Once you have your intent written down, formulate your call. Here are three example calls that I would use myself.

  • “I am [magical name]. I am calling out to the spirit world. I am seeking any good and helpful spirits that are willing to help a human such as myself. I wish for assistance with [guardianship/teaching/guidance/etc]. Please come to me so we may interact.”
  • “I am [magical name]. I am calling out to the spirit world. I am seeking any noble and strong warrior spirits that are willing to help a human such as myself. I wish for assistance with guarding my home. In return I can offer brandy and cigars. Please come to me so we may make a deal.”
  • “I am [magical name]. I am calling out to the spirit world. I am seeking a spirit of storms and rain that are willing to help a human such as myself. I wish for rain to be brought to my region. In return I will tell others about my experience so you gain fame in the human world. Please come to me so that we may help each other.”

Quick notes:

  • For spirit work, try adopting a magical name. It does not sit well with me that someone uses their true name immediately with spirits. It’s like giving your telephone number to every stranger you meet. I use my online name, typically Briar although now it is Thicket. Magical names do not have to be permanent. Choose any name or word you like.
  • “I am calling out to the spirit world” can be replaced by any phrase or action that connects you with “the other side”. Find an action or method of connection that feels comfortable to you.
  • It is important to mention that you would like a spirit who wants to help you! It may seem self-evident, but trust me, it is not. Plenty of spirits come to my call who just want to see what’s going on, or who want a chance at the offerings at my side.

Actually calling the spirits, interacting with them, and formulating a relationship

Suppose you would like to meet any guardian or guide spirits that you may have already. Try using a call like this:

“I am [magical name]. I am calling out to the spirit world. I am seeing any guardians, guides, or helpful spirits that are attached to me. Please visit me so I may get to know you.”

Take your notebook and write down the exact call you plan on using. If you like, have some offerings on hand (this is just good form in general). Have with you any divination tools you plan on using. Also have with you the basic tools for banishment.

Sit in a quiet place. Make your environment as witchy as possible to get you in the right mindset. Candles and incense work great if you have them, otherwise try atmospheric music. Do whatever it takes to make you feel like you are connected to the “other” world. Try praying for protection or wearing protection amulets that you may have.

When you are ready, read your call. Read it out loud or mentally, it doesn’t matter; nothing on this plane of existence will hear it anyway.

At this point one of two things will happen: a spirit will visit you, or it will not.

If a spirit does not appear within a few moments, read your call again. Repeat this for three calls total, then try again the next day or the next week. If necessary, do divination to discover why spirits did not want to appear for you. Is it possible the spirit you called for does not exist? Try a different call (more will be listed below) for practice. Is it possible you just do not know how to detect a spirit if it does appear? If nothing seems to be working after a week or so of trying, send me a message. Please send me the exact calls you used.

Remember that spirits are not physical. It is extremely uncommon that a person will see a spirit with their two eyes. A being isn’t just going to appear three dimensionally in your bedroom. Most likely, that being will appear within your imagination. The imagination is an extremely powerful magical tool and should not be ignored because it is “make believe”. If you call an air elemental you may imagine a whirlwind, a bird, a cloud, or anything else that is ‘airy’ in nature, for example.

When your imagination suddenly changes with an image of something, mentally or verbally greet it. Try, “Hello, you may call me [magical name]. Are you replying to my call?”

Understanding what a spirit is communicating to you is tricky. If only they spoke plain English! Look for any sign that the spirit has responded. The image of the spirit may seem to move closer to you, or further away. It may appear to be happy, sad, or upset. You may suddenly get empathetic feelings of agreement or disagreement. You may actually hear, feel, or think words. It is your job to interpret what the spirit is trying to communicate with you. If you like, ask the spirit to influence your divinatory tools so you can communicate through those.

Avoid repeating questions. They do not seem to like it. Ask once, and if you can’t interpret, apologize and ask another question instead.

If absolutely nothing seems to happen, take it as a sign that the spirit did not respond to you. In this situation, if the spirit does not respond, say, “if you are not here to answer my call and assist me, please leave. Thank you for your time.” There is no need to be hostile or rude, just send them away. If they refuse to leave, it is time to banish.

If something does happen, for example if you sense a feeling of agreement or the image seems to nod at you, take this as an affirmative that the spirit is here to answer your call. Continue with your line of questioning. Try these questions:

  • “What may I call you?” (Do not ask for their name directly, I have never had good results when I do).
  • “Are you [the spirit I asked for]?”
  • “Would you like to continue communicating this way?”
  • “What is your role in my life?”

If you are here to make a deal and get it over with, don’t drag out the small talk. “Are you the spirit I called for? Will you protect my house for some brandy? Awesome, I’ll pay you once a week and we’ll revisit the contract in a month.”

If you are there to make a lasting connection, speak for as long as you like or until the spirit appears to become restless or bored.

When the spirit departs, or when you ask it to depart, the mental image of them should leave their mind. Carefully distinguish between having that spirit actively within your imagination, and memories of the spirit within your imagination.

After this first meeting, you can call the same spirit by the name they gave you. Try, “the spirit that gave me the name [spirit’s name] on the date [the date you first met the spirit], please come to me so we may speak.”

Banishment

I don’t have the time or inclination to include full banishing rituals in this small guide. Simply google “how to banish a spirit” or ask a friendly Tumblurian to help :)

Detecting fakes

Alright, so here’s what you gotta do. Just pay attention. If something feels disturbing, wrong, or scary, DO NOT IGNORE THOSE FEELINGS. Fear is an instinct that exists to keep us safe. It is not you being a scaredy cat. It is not you being silly, nervous, or having stage fright. Ask the spirit to leave immediately and do a quick cleansing on your space.

Think about what you asked for and judge a spirit by those standards. An air spirit is not going to take the form of a boulder. A rain spirit is not going to take the form of a candle flame.

If something sounds too good to be true, it is. If a spirit is telling you that you are the chosen one, that you need it to be powerful, etc., you are going to be dinner. Send it away.

Practice calls

I would consider these calls to be relatively safe and good just to get a little experience in. Ask these spirits to come visit you for a short time, then bid them farewell. There is no need to get a name from them unless you really want to call them back. The offerings are just suggestions, to give you some ideas.

  • “I am seeking rabbit or hare spirits that wish to visit me in exchange for some fresh lettuce.”
  • “I desire to contact any spirits of flowers who are nearby, so I may appreciate your beauty.” (Remember to give the flowers many compliments in exchange for their time)
  • “I would like to visit with a good and benevolent water spirit who will teach me about healing.”
  • “I am seeking a dog spirit who would like a nice treat in exchange for his time.”
  • “I wish to speak with a bird spirit, who can show me what the world looks like from the sky. In exchange I can offer bird seed.”
  • “I wish to contact a spirit of beauty who can help teach me magics for clearer skin. In exchange I can give you three dried roses.”
  • “I would like to call upon the spirit of clutter that lives in my home, so that we may make a deal for you to leave my property.”
  • “I would like to call upon the ghost of [my deceased pet*****] so we may visit and share good times.”
  • “I desire to contact any good and benevolent spirits who are directly involved in my life, so we may speak and get to know each other.”
  • “I desire to contact any spirits who wish harm against me, so I may make amends and heal our relationship.”
  • “I am seeking a spirit of hard work to bless me in my future endeavors, in exchange for a small shrine built in your honor.”

*****DO NOT call human relatives to you at this point. It is way too easy for a demon or spook to pretend to be a human relative. It is okay if human spirits come to you in general, but it is a suckerpunch to the gut to realize that your beloved departed is really an evil spirit in disguise. Stick with animal friends for now.

Calling gods and other such beings

This method will work to call gods as well. Be very careful of petty spirits that pretend to be gods. Judge each being by its folklore and what you know about them.

What to do with offerings?

For any offering, set it aside and watch the spirit enjoy it. When the spirit is done, dispose of the offerings just as you would clear a plate from the guest table.

Pour any liquids on to the ground or down the drain. Bury or compost foods, or dispose of them in the trash. Simply allow incense to burn and throw away the ashes.

The ultimate masterpost

**This is a list of helpful sites pulled from multiple masterposts. I will be updating this as I find new things.** 

IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!! I KNOW THE LINKS AREN’T SHOWING UP IF ANYONE ON HERE KNOWS WHY THAT IS PLEASE TELL ME ASAP! IF YOU GO AND EDIT THE POST SO FAR IT SHOWS THE LINKS BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THEY WILL NOT SHOW UP ON THE ACTUAL POSTS

**If something doesn’t work let me know.** Thank you!

**If something belongs to you and you want credit let me know. I tried to make all the links go to a specific site. But I’m happy to give you credit if you see something that connect back to you.**

SAT/ACT

ACT Masterpost
FREE MATERIAL
Vocab

AP’s Non-Specific 

For every high school student studying an AP test 
FREE MATERIAL (some SAT/ACt stuff too)
Study guides

AP’s Specific

Art History
Smarthistory: a multimedia web-book about art and art history
Course-notes
Barrons pdfs

Biology
AP Biology Exam Guide
Chapter Review
Giant Review Sheet
Crash Course 

Calculus AB & BC
Cheatsheet (AB & BC)
Stuff You MUST Know Cold for AP Calc (AB)
If you see that, do this (AB)

Chemistry
AP Chemistry Notes
Podcasts
Quick Review
Periodic Table

Comparative Government and Politics
Government Comparisons
Cramsheet
Study Sheet (opens as word doc)

Computer Science
Review: Part 1

English Language
Rhetorical Strategies
AP Language Review

Environmental Science
Vocab to Know
Tips
APES Review

European History
STUDY GUIDES
Exam Review Sheets
Tom Richey 

French Language
Cram packet

Human Geography
Course-notes

Macroeconomics
Every Graph You Need To Know (YouTube)
Cram packet

Microeconomics
Study guide

Psychology 
sparknotes study guide
hella good review sheets
ton of flashcards woah
mind map of social psych
rough outline of the year
psychologists to know
crash course ~ hank green
intro to psych post
free textbook resources
study playlists help u
bunch of review materials
very good cram packet
lots of notes from a post
outline of erikson’s theory
mind map of disorders
how to stay motivated!!

Physics B & C
Equations (C Mech)
Unit Notes ©
Unit Notes ©
Equations © 

Statistics
Cram packet
Inference Procedures
AP Stats formulas

U.S. Government
Cheat Sheet
Review Materials
Tom Richey 

U.S. History
Cram Packet: part 1, part 2
The Giant AHAP Review
Unit study guides
Quizlet sets
The Comprehensive AP US History Study Guide
The man that saved me Part 1 Part 2

World History
Cram Packets and Review Sheets
Cram packets by era
Course-notes

General Subject’s

English Help
Cliffsnotes
Sparknotes
No Fear Shakespeare
How to Write a Essay (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X)
What makes a good Essay
How to Edit Yourself
Editing Checklist
Trouble Reading? Tips (X) (X) (X)
Writing Masterpost (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X)
Other things to help your Writing  (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X)

Languages 
Duolingo
Achieving Proficiency

Math Help
Mathway (type in your problem and it solves it)
Square Root Calculator
Cube Root Calculator
Expression Simplifier
Helps you with Math
Easy unit converter
Any calculator you need
Algebra Solver
Scientific Calculator 
Cheat Sheet 

Science Help
All about space
Guides for more than 5,500 animal species
Improve you Geography knowledge
vast collection of historic images and videos
Symbols and their meanings
Comprehensive site for genetics and evolution
Lectures 
Lab Write Ups

Writing Help
Free Microsoft Word Equivalent
Writing Software Master post
Cant Remember A Word?
Bibliography Maker
Social Media Citation Guide
Earn A Cute Picture Of A Kitten For Writing
Writers Block?
Check Your Writing for Spelling and Grammatical Errors
Coffee Shop Sounds
Essay Structure Guide
Want To Know Who You Write Like?
Remember the Word
Alternatives to Said
Great Inspiration
Getting Inspired
Free Microsoft Word alternative
Dealing with writer’s block
Lay vs. lie
When to change paragraphs
Music for writing
Research and reading
How to write a kickass essay with ½ of the stress
How to write an essay
Guide to writing a basic essay
Essay writing: the basics
What makes a good essay?
How to google? (1) (2)
Writing tips
Harvard Writing Resources
Synonyms Masterpost
can’t find the right word?
Hemingway an online editor (It’s awesome)

Other Useful Stuff 

Citing
Bibme
Son of Citation Machine
Owl Purdue
How to write Bibliography

College tips
make a to do+doing+done board (I just did this and it is very helpful)
print sources nicely (1) (2)
recipes based on ingredients - recipepuppy
popular new headlines - newsmap.jp
ted.com
speed read - spreeder.com
white noise - simplynoise.com
plan sleep time - sleepyti.me
google like a boss - png / jpg
planetebook.com/ebooks 
readanybook.com
prezi.com 
collegepackinglist.com
Tips for college freshman
Know before college 
Preparing for a lecture

Productivity 
30/30 (app)
Essential productivity apps for any student*
Top 5 productivity apps for iOS (video)*
Top 5 productivity apps for Android (video)*
StayFocusd
Time Warp
Self Control (mac) blocks websites
The science of productivity (video)
The science of procrastination and how to manage it (video)
7 brain hacks to improve your productivity (video)
The simple science of getting more done (in less time)
Productivity tips
About power naps
How to pull an all-nighter effectively

Studying (Currently long but I will sort through at a later point)
Answering multiple choice questions
Apps for students
Basics for Efficient Studying
BBC Bitesize
Calculators
Check spelling and grammar
Coffitivity- sounds of a cafe
Convert Anything To Anything
Cornell note taking method
Coursera- Online courses for free.
Create flowcharts, network diagrams, ect.
Creating Effective Exam Cheat Sheets
Defeating Procrastination
Essay writing
Exam survival tips
Finals Help Guide
Finals survival guide
Flashcards
Free Flashcards Study Helper
Free online courses
Google books for research
Grammar Check
Guide on punctuation
Homework Help
How to answer exam questions
How to Read a Textbook
How to Review in Less Time
How to study
How to survive finals
How to take notes Masterpost
How to Underline/Highlight Effectively
How to write an essay
Inkflow Visual Notebook
Khan Academy- Learn anything.
Learning how to study
Making a good study guide
Memorizing dates
Momentum- Be motivated and organised.
Note taking like a pro
Notetaking Strategies
Online calculator
Online Ruler
open2study- Free online study for everyone.
Presentation Zen- A blog that helps you with your presentations.
Productive Study Break Tips
Pull an All Nighter & Do Well On Your Exam
Quizlet- Make flashcards and test yourself.
Reading Review, Highlighting, and Underlining
Research & Reading Tips
Scholarpedia
School survival guide
Science simplified
Simple and Not So Simple Proven Ways to Sharpen Memory
Solving Problems vs. Practicing Them 
Studyblue 
StudyBlue- Make online flashcards.
Studying for an important exam
Study Playlist 
Superb Study Guides and Mini Moleskines
Taking Notes Effectively and Practically
Test-taking Strategies
Test your vocabulary
The Benefits of Active Notetaking
The “Secret” to Doing Well in School
Thinking & Memorizing Tips
Time management
Tips and trick to help you get good grades
Triaging Your Assignments
Useful websites
Website Blocker- Remove temptation.
What NOT To Do When Studying
Wikiversity
Wolfram Alpha for research 
Youtube Crash Course
“Academic Disaster Insurance”
“Big Idea” Flashcards

Textbooks
Free textbooks
Text Book Nova
Textbooks
Textbooks  
Ebookee
Reddit
BookFinder
Medical Textbooks
Cookbooks to Text Books
Science/Math Textbooks
Business Textbooks
Tech Books
Greek and Roman Text in English
Art Books
Historical Fiction
History Books
Project Gutenberg
Bookbyte
Free Ebooks
Books
Books
Books
Books
Classic Books
Classic Books
Classic Books
Classic Books
Classic books and Reference and study guides
Classic books
Free Textbook Download Masterpost
Textbook Guide

Organization
My Study Life - It’s a planner to help you remember when your homework is due and stuff like that
Free printable planner
To do list
How to make a study schedule
Class folder organization
“Study Cove” Organization
Making a Detailed Study Schedule
The Work-Progress Journal
Quick Tip for Flashcard Organization
Scheduling Organization
College Plan Spreadsheet Template
Organizing Your Notes
Getting Yourself Together in College with Mental Illness
How to Organize Your Workspace

Stress Reliefs/Relaxng
stress analyst - relaxonline
calm.com
distract yourself
self-care tips
self-care for overstimulated nerves
softest legs
feel better
Thoughts Room
Panic & Anxiety Masterpost
Guided Relaxation
Stress Relievers
Chill Playlist
Cute Videos
The quiet place project
Feelings Masterpost

Useful Stuff
plan, budget, and manage daily finances
How to take a Standardized Test
How to Master Excel
Fact check politicians
Back to school Masterpost
What you didn’t learn in high school

IDK what to put these under but they're helpful too
Check The Safety Of Any Website
Download From 8tracks
Print Webpages Without the Clutter
Is This Website Down For Me Or Everyone?
Self Defense Tips
Chrome Extension Tells You Which Tab Is Playing Music
Prevent Hangovers
Bookmark Online Videos
1 Month Free of Amazon Prime
Netflix Recommendations
Becoming An Adult Masterpost
All The Audios You’ve Ever Reblogged
Stream/Watch Free TV/Movies
Never Hit A Dead End With A Broken Link
Downloadable PDF To-Do Lists
Watch Musicals
List Of Universities On Tumblr
Summer Studying
Back to School

Scholarship Masterpost

8/17/2015: Updated some parts. Alphabetized the study section and added in new links. If at any point you want something added in that isn’t here just send me an ask or submit it in the submit box.

6/1/2016: Currently working on the issue of the links disappearing. Hopefully I’ll have it fixed