but anyway here's the right one

anonymous asked:

You're incredibly lucky... in Spain a year at uni can be so, so expensive. Specially in Catalonia (I don't know if you know what's going on with Spain/Catalonia? anyways), where it can go from 1200€ to 2500€ per year (this is what my degree costs), without mentioning private unis that can cost from 5000€ (fashion/design degrees, for example) to 40.000€ each year (if you want to become a pilot)

Well, some educations, like pilot, will cost a lot of money here too, the pilot education is famous here because it’s right around one million kroner for two years! (Around 140 000 USD) Because it’s a very technical education, the money for the cost of flying.

That being said, I am definitely aware of how lucky we are. The cost of becoming a pilot is very high, but even that is cheaper than becoming a doctor for example in America. In Norway you can become a doctor free! (Basically) and that concerns most educations. Ever since I started school my teachers have always said ‘being born in Norway is like winning the lottery’ and I definitely agree. It’s a huge privilege.

Who Died: AUCas or Our Cas? SPN12X23

*rubs hands together manically*

I wanted to share my theories on
WHO DIED: AUCas or our Cas?

And also explain why I think we had an imposter (AUCas) for a good chunk of the episode. 

It helps to read along as you watch, especially as my technically challenged self can’t get pics/gifs on here for some odd reason. But anyway, I’m going to go through each Cas scene to discuss his behavior. And then give some ideas on how they’ve left it open for EITHER an alternate universe Cas OR our Cas to have been the one who died at the end. There’s no right or wrong answer because none of us actually knows. I’m no expert but this is fun and we have all summer to speculate.

So let’s get started!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Could you do a trans Sportacus or trans Robbie shortie?

@ryeregular also sent in:

Prompt Trans robbie rotten?

So with two votes, here’s Trans Robbie.

I’m real nervous about this one for some reason. If any part of this ficlet is problematic in anyway, please please let me know. I am like Sportacus in this story, I want to learn all I can and not hurt anyone. 

“So, ah,” Sportacus fiddled with his arm brace, “have you ever considered top surgery?” 

Robbie felt a spike of annoyance. Ever since he had told Sportacus that he was transgender, Sportacus had sprung these random questions on him. It was always when they were alone and nothing ever got too personal or invasive, but Robbie really wished the hero would stop acting so awkward when he asked a question. 

“I did when I first heard about it but I don’t think I need it,” he said with a dismissive wave, “Plus they’re very expensive. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but being a villain doesn’t pay too well.”

“It’s expensive? Really?”

“Well surgery is never cheap to begin with.”

Sportacus hummed, still picking absently at his bracer. Robbie rolled his eyes and stood from the bench they had been sharing. He stood in front of Sportacus, leaned down, and put his hands on either side of the elf’s face.

“Sportasquirm, listen to me,” Robbie said. He spoke slowly, keeping constant eye contact with Sportacus, “I am trans. You are ignorant. I know you like to learn. I’ll answer all your questions and I’ll let you know if you go too far but will you just act normal? There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s been weeks since I told you.”

Sportacus made no move to escape Robbie’s grasp. At the word ‘normal’, his face flushed and his eyes darted away, “I’m sorry,” he said, “I just, I don’t want to say something wrong—”

“I’m not glass, I’m not going to break if you say a wrong word to me. I’ll tell you if you’re being offensive, I promise.”

Sportacus nodded as best he could with Robbie’s hands on either side of him. He still wasn’t looking at Robbie though.

“Eyes up, Sport,” Sportacus finally met his gaze, “Repeat after me. ‘Robbie, you are transgender’.”

Sportacus gulped, “R-Robbie, you are… transgender.”

He spoke the last word softly. Robbie squeezed his cheeks slightly, “Louder.”

“Robbie, you are transgender.”

“Louder!”

You’re transgender!” Sportacus all but shouted. He looked determined, like he was trying to hit the farthest home run possible. Robbie grinned and let go of him.

“That’s better,” he sat back down beside Sportacus, “You had another question, I could tell. What is it?”

Sportacus was no longer messing with his bracer. He turned to look Robbie right in the eye. 

Then he chuckled, “You know, I actually don’t remember now.”

Robbie rolled his eyes again and groaned into his hands as Sportacus laughed beside him. 

Five Last Lines Meme

I was tagged by @annaofaza, thank you! <3

Cite the final line of five of your fics - your favourites or the most recent ones. Tag five writers who should do this next.

So I’m choosing 5 of my favorites. :-)


And Then One Fine Morning

Harry smiles. “Welcome to Kingsman, Eggsy.”

All the Wonders That Remain

“Oi.” Eggsy shies away. “I ain’t brushed my teeth yet, and we had all that garlic at dinner.”

Harry could care less about that, but he surrenders anyway. “All right,” he says.

Eggsy heads for the bathroom. “I’ll be right out,” he says.

Harry starts to turn down the bed. “Take your time,” he says. “I’ll be here.”

the centre cannot hold

When he wakes, Eggsy is still lying next to him, sleeping peacefully. Harry gazes at him for a long moment as he slowly assembles the pertinent facts.

It’s Tuesday. It’s raining. And today is the first day of the rest of his life with Eggsy Unwin.

Once Upon a Different Lifetime

“Just don’t expect me to wear no apron,” Eggsy says. “I got a reputation to maintain, and all.”

Harry chuckles. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” He heads for the refrigerator, but as he reaches the place where Eggsy stands, he slows down and gives Eggsy a kiss before moving on.

Yeah, Eggsy thinks. This is the life for him.

And All the Days to Come

With a smile, Harry closes his eyes again. He turns his head so he can rest his cheek on the softness of Eggsy’s hair. This is what he was missing all those weeks when they slept on opposite sides of the bed, when his own mind came between them and kept them apart.

He knows he can never do without it again.

Best of all, he knows he’ll never have to.


Tagging: @listentotheshityousay @venvephe @deepdarkwaters @onemuseleft @sineala @alchemyalice @anarchycox and anyone else who wants to play

9

Notable actors of South Asian descent in Western Media (from left to right)

Avan Jogia, Mahesh Jadu, Riz Ahmed, Manish Dayal, Dev Patel, Irrfan Khan, Suraj Sharma, Aziz Ansari, Ben Kingsley

Random joke magic items

Here’s a list of random joke items to use for fun in your campaign. I’d recommend adding them to treasure hoards rather than subbing normal items for them.
Anyway here they are:

1. Ace of Spades - An ace of spades from a standard card deck. No matter where you store it on your body, you will always be able to find it in your right sleeve afterwards.

2. Amulet of Extra Amulet Slot - This amulet allows you to gain the benefit from two magical amulets rather than one. It cannot be further enchanted.

3. Amulet of Feather Fall - When worn, this amulet turns into a feather and falls to the ground.

4. Amulet of Unbreaking Bones - Con-man says you can’t break any bones. Really, he means other’s bones. -100% damage against skeletons.

5. Amulet of weather detection - yells that it is or is not raining.

6. Anti-Matches - A box of matches. Striking one will make it begin to drip water from the tip while the match shrivels away. The amount of water a match releases is about enough to fill a tablespoon.

7. Arrow of Euarere - A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.

8. Arrow of Slaying, The - This magical arrow is capable of killing a creature.

9. Artist’s Bludgeon, The - Inanimate objects hit with this bludgeon will receive no damage; they will however change color.

10. Attentive Guardsman’s Pike - These ornate and deadly-looking ceremonial pikes are reach weapons and appear to weigh at least 20 lbs, not counting the weight of the fluttering banners that can be unfurled for parade use. Constructed of shadowstuff, they weigh one pound, and inflict only a single point of damage on an attack, being almost entirely for show, although they also have the unique property of remaining in place when set (although unable to support more than 20 lbs), allowing a ‘resting his eyes’ guardsman to prop it up and leave it standing under its own power, while his hand sags off of it.

11. Attentive Guardsman’s Tabard - A dozen of these tabards were fashioned for palace guardsmen in the Empire of Sard, 250 miles from the nearest enemy. The bearer is placed under a glamour that causes him to appear alert and awake, even if his eyes are closed and he is snoring lightly.

12. Axe of Big Numbers - This axe shouts “Big numbers baby, come on!” whenever it is swung, but always deals 1 damage or less.

13. Axe of Empathy - Every time you hit something with this +5 greataxe, you get dealt an equal amount of damage. Both you and the thing you hit are then healed the amount of damage dealt by the axe, even if either are dead. The Axe hopes you have learned your lesson.

14. Axe of Pain - The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain.

15. Bag of Faerie Gold - This sack appears to be full of gold coins and jewels. When one attempts to spend them, however, the glamour on them soon vanishes, revealing them to be nothing but leaves and pebbles. Obviously, most shopkeepers will not be happy about this, and no amount of ‘we didn’t know, I swear!’ will change their mind.

16. Bag of Holding - This item functions as a normal backpack, however when attempting to retrieve an item, a calm female voice tells them there is a wait time of 4d10 minutes before they can retrieve their item (actual time is stated time plus 6d6 additional minutes). During this wait, the bag plays either annoying muzak or advertisements for the bag’s creator’s other products/services. Upon attempting to retrieve an item, there is a chance that the wrong item is retrieved, or that the intended item is simply missing. Obtaining the original item requires an additional 4d10+6d6 minutes and has only a 5% chance of success.

17. Bag of Trading - You can take one thing out of the bag for each object you put in the bag. However, you have no control over what you get, and there are no trade-backs. Past research seems to imply there’s some sort of correlation to what gets you what, but it’s extremely convoluted and far from understood.

18. Bag of Trick - This bag operates like a Bag of Tricks, except it only works once a week and produces a rat each time it is used.

19. Bag of Unholding - Quite a large backpack but even the smallest item doesn’t fit.

20. Bagpipe of Stealth - Grants the user invisibility as long as it is being played.

21. Ball of Eyes - A snow-globe filled with miniature eyeballs. When shaken, it grants the user a blurry, jittery vision of some future event.

22. Banana Walkie-Talkies - There exist two, and only two, of these items in the world. One of which is possessed by a cranky and lonely half-orc. It appears to be an innocuous wooden banana with a coat of faded yellow paint. When an end (doesn’t matter which one) is placed against your ear, you can hear a ringing followed by a click and a half-orc yelling at you for waking him up at this ungodly hour. If you drop the banana or “hang up,” the call ends. If you stay and listen, the half-orc will yell at you, call out obscenities, and start going on about his daily problems and mishaps in his love life. Every so often (2% chance/day), the banana will ring while you are sleeping and the half-orc will want to talk to you about his problems.

23. Barrel of Holding - This large wooden barrel measuring √(12/π) feet in diameter and 5 feet in height can hold up to 15 cubic feet of matter.

24. Beam Sword of Severed Nerves - A beam sword. It cannot cut anything but nerve strings. Will pass through any other material leaving no harm.

25. Belt of Pants - This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will

26. Belt of Tightening - Every time you put this belt on, all of your clothes permanently shrink a fraction of a millimeter. The effect is compound.

27. Belt of Unbathed Breath - When worn around the waist, allows the user to breathe underwater. Does not function when wet.

28. Boogie Skeleton - This pile of bones is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.

29. Book of Canon - A book that automatically transforms into a copy of the sacred text of any religion, translated into the language the user is most familiar with.

30. Book of Confusion - The letters in this book always appear to be upside down, even if viewed from different directions at the same time. The book is a bad novel about zombies.

31. Book of Curses - When opened, the book verbally berates anyone in the immediate vicinity, calling into question their combat ability, intellect, personal hygiene, lineage and profession of their mothers, and other delightful insults. Once closed the book continues shouting (although it is muffled) until placed inside a bag or some other similar container for 1d4+1 minutes and ignored. Replying to the book in any other way causes the insults to get louder and more childish the more time you spend replying to it.

32. Book of Exalted Deeds - Contains a listing of some of the finest houses ever sold and the specifics of the titles to the properties.

33. Boots of Blinding Speed - The wearer’s speed is doubled, and they are blinded.

34. Boots of Levitation - These boots levitate a few inches off the ground when not worn.

35. Boots of Stylishness - Knee high black boots that are always clean and shiny. They never take in water, thus feet are always dry.

36. Boots of Teleportation - Allows the player to teleport wherever they like, but don’t carry the wearer with them when activated; the boots teleport just fine, though.

37. Boots of Walking - The wearer of the boots cannot run, nor can he take a double move action, and takes a -5 to Tumble checks. These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do.

38. Bottle of Air - It’s a bottle. Full of air. Congratulations.

39. Bottomless Beer Mug - Any liquid poured into this mug treats the bottom as incorporeal, but solid objects don’t.

40. Bowl of Comfortable Warmth - Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it’s a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it’s still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.

50. Breastplate of Secret Detection - If the wearer of this breastplate gains a piece of information that is somehow connected to the concealment of a hidden conspiracy or plot, a live and still wet red herring forms on the inside of the armor.

51. Bullying Gloves - At random intervals, these gloves instil the wearer with a near-irresistible urge to hit themselves.

52. Bunyan’s Belt - When worn, causes an enormous, bushy black beard to appear on the wearer’s face.

53. Cape of Resistance - When this item is placed on any living thing it somehow manages to fall off, untie itself, slip past the owner’s neck entirely, or otherwise avoid being worn.

54. Case of the Litigator - Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non-reversible. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.

55. Cat of Schrodinger - When this cat is not being observed in any way it is both dead and alive. When something observes it, it suddenly becomes either dead or alive with a 50% chance of either.

56. Chair of Steadiness - This chair can be moved but cannot be tipped over by anything less than a DC 35 Strength check.

57. Charles - This small, unremarkable figurine of a gnome refuses to be called anything but Charles. No other name will leave the lips of the speaker. It has no other powers.

58. Chime of Interruption - This instrument can be struck once every round, which takes a standard action. On any round the chime is activated the user may ready one action without spending an action to do so.

59. Chime of Opening - Commonly affixed to or near doors, when pressed it emits a sound on the interior of the owner’s home to let them know guests have arrived.

60. Chime of Opening (Alternate) - When struck against a solid surface, this chime emits a loud click, and opens along its length, to reveal a tiny compartment adequate to conceal a single 'smoke’ worth of pipeweed or a blowgun needle. When the compartment is closed, it is seamless and can be detected only with a DC 20 Search check. If hit with an instrument such as a small mallet, it chimes.

61. Cloak of Billowing - This black and silver cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.

62. Cloak of Displacement, Minor - This item appears to be a normal cloak, but when worn by a character its magical properties distort and warp reality. When any attack is made against the wearer the cloak has a 20% chance of falling off, no matter how it is secured.

63. Compacting hammer - The force imparted by it is multiplied, but is spread around the surface of a struck object facing inward.

64. Cymbal of Symbols - This musical instrument enables the user to comprehend dead languages, but only while they are deafened by noise.

65. Dagger of Told Secrets - A simple-looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper your most embarrassing secret to that person.

66. Dagger of unnatural sharpness - The blade is exceptionally sharp to your touch. It confers no combat bonuses but can be used as a normal dagger for fighting or crafting, but the user seems to always cut himself in minor ways when using it.

67. Dagger of Untold Secrets - A simple looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper the most embarrassing secret of that person to you.

68. Decanter of Endless Sorrow - A pewter flask that produces limitless alcohol when held to their lips by someone who is troubled. It gets them drunk but they never feel any better.

69. Diadem of Brothaurity - When wearing this headpiece, you are as elegant and well-spoken as a famous diplomat or regent, but you can’t stop calling everyone bro.

70. Enchanted Book of Collected Stories - Opening this will cause miniature creatures/people to pour out and perform a chapter from the book much like a theater.

71. Focusing Ring - The digit on which this ring is worn can be viewed in extremely high definition from a great distance.

72. Gloves of Tinkering - Wearing the gloves will make you able to almost repair any broken item. However, you will always end up with pieces from the item that don’t seem to fit anywhere.

73. Glowing sword of orc detection - When it gets orc blood on it the sword glows.

74. Good Luck ring - Gives your enemies good luck!

75. Greater Staff of Random Summoning - Summons a random creature at a random place. You could be summoning a giant Ogre on the other side of the globe for all you know.

76. Helm of Awareness, The - The wearer is acutely aware of the fact that they are wearing this helmet and that it has a magical effect. - All you need to do to make this work as a DM is frequently remind the player that the helm is magical while they are wearing it but be evasive about exactly what it does.

77. Hoarder’s Wand - Does nothing but for some reason you think it might be important later in your quest.

78. Hood of Offensive Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others to the appearance of the person they most personally dislike.

79. Hood Of Worrisome Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others, however the identity used will be random.

80. Indestructible Notebook of Memories - This otherwise normal notepad of normal notepad size cannot be damaged or destroyed, and anything written in it cannot be obscured or defaced. It also has unlimited pages despite its finite size. However, the data it holds only lasts as long as the writer independently remembers it, and decays in exact proportion to the relevant memories. Remember who and when, but not where? Then the words describing the location in that particular entry are the only ones gone.

81. Intransigent Rod - When the button on this artifact is pressed in, the holder’s opinions solidify and they become impossible to convince.

82. Key to anywhere - opens any door into a closet with a water bucket that falls and hits the player’s head. Inside this closet is the treasure of true adventurers. If opened with a key, it opens a closet…

83. Lunch Box of Delicious Unfulfillment - This lunch box will hold whatever food you desire. However you will never get full and the food will deliver no nourishment.

84. Mask of Concealment - Hides the wearer’s face and conceals everything from them by blocking their eyes! Bonus points for requiring a strength check or a time limit to expire to be removed.

85. Mattress of Poverty, The - No matter how you fluff this gorgeous, thick, mattress, you will always sleep on the thin part of it.

86. Mug O’ Dissatisfaction - A mug that always produces a steaming hot cup of coffee or tea when tapped on the bottom. It conjures the opposite of what the tapper prefers, so if you like tea you get coffee and vice versa. Handing the full mug to another person will make the drink in it transform to the opposite of that person’s preferences.

87. Murder Dagger - All damage it would deal is instead replaced by the target being harassed by crows for that many hours.

88. Needle Of Learned Compromise - This needle will create beautiful tattoos of any design, however they hurt a tiny bit more. When used to sew it is entirely normal.

89. Portable Dark Tavern Corner - Consisting of two wooden boards connected by a hinge, this artifact draws those nearby into assuming it is a perfect spot to conduct seedy business.

90. Potion of fire breathing - For the length of time that the potion is in effect, every breath out is on fire, whether you want it to be or not.

91. Potion of Quelchment - Cures thirst when consumed

92. Ring of Fire Detection - becomes warm when placed into Fire.

93. Ring of First Impression - Wearing the ring will make you able to perform a perfect handshake with the hand wearing it.

94. Ring of Stoneskin - Turns your skin, muscles, and organs into stone! Character is now a stationary statue. Can’t be reversed until someone takes the ring off.

95. Rope of Entanglement - Becomes entangled when left in a pack

96. Sack of Hive Eggs - Crushing one of the numerous tiny eggs will cause the thoughts of everybody in the proximity to merge. Everybody can hear what you think and you can hear everybody.

97. Shirt of fire protection - this shirt is sopping wet.

98. Shoes of the Restless Traveler - These shoes allow their user to run for miles without feeling fatigue, but if they try to do anything else with it (walk, sit down, jump), they will instantly trip

99. Sword of Parrying - Parries every attack, swinging it yourself will force it to “parry” your opponent’s weapon/attack even though he/she/it is defenseless.

100. Torch of Night Vision - grants bearer Night Vision while lit.

101. Vorpal Grindstone - It can “sharpen” any object to become vorpal. Any object.

102. Wand of command - Lets your character be controlled after saying the command word!

103. Wand of Create Wand of Create Wand - Creates a Wand of Create Wand. Consumes original Wand.

104. Wand of Pigeon Summoning - summons 1d20 pigeons everyday. On a 20 it breaks and summons a giant pigeon god (can be the size of Godzilla or like 5 pigeons.) Giant pigeon god should be in the mid 20s for CR, but is uninterested in attacking, and will simply fly away when summoned.

105. Water Hat, The - A small red hat, when worn, causes water to pour from the wearer’s fingers at the speed and pressure of a kitchen faucet at half power.

106. Wineskin of the Eternal Primary - This wineskin never runs out of water, but even the tiniest sip makes you have to go potty, like, super bad. Right now.

4

happy birthday victor nikiforov!! here’s a present for you: a cute japanese figure skater slash fiancé! 🎁✨

2

MAIA WEEK — Day two: favorite (relation) ship

maia x happiness

i wish i could do things right and i wish i had motivation to get up

“Jack, you’re not going to make it. It’s okay,” Bitty stresses, trying to remain the calm one even though he’s not feeling that calm about it.

“No. I’ll get there, I—Shit! Ah, shit. Sorry, Bits, half ran a red there.”

“Jack!” Bitty groans, heart flipping over at the thought of Jack speeding home. He wouldn’t have called Jack in the first place if he’d known that was what was going on. This phone conversation can only be a distraction. “I’m serious. It’s fine.”

“It’s your birthday. I’m going to get there in time.”

“You’re crazy, and I’m honestly scared for your life right now.”

“Don’t be. There’s barely anyone on the roads, I’m fine,” Jack says dismissively.

“I am rolling my eyes at you,” Bitty tells Jack after having done so. “With love, but also because you’re an idiot.”

“And idiot who loves you.” How Jack manages to be sappy and romantic whilst seemingly in a one-man car chase is beyond Bitty. He’s appreciative anyway.

“Get here in one piece or this will be the worst birthday ever.”

“What about–”

“Yes, I am including the time we had to take Tater to hospital and I got blood all over my new shoes,” Bitty says somewhat hysterically.

“What’s the time?” Jack demands.

Bitty tips his head back from where he’s got it resting on the arm of the couch to look at the clock. “Eleven fifty-three.”

“Fuck yeah,” Jack yells, making it come out buzzed through Bitty’s phone. “Okay. Bits, Bud, I got this. Open the front door for me, I’m almost home.”

Bitty rolls his eyes again. This boy is way too eager for near midnight. “Okay, okay. I’m doing it.”

He opens the front door and steps out into the hallway. It’s quiet out there, and he can’t hear anything coming through on the phone either. Jack probably isn’t going to make it, and that’s fine with Bitty. It’ll be the first time in six years, but Bitty thinks that’s a pretty good track record.

The sound of footsteps pounding up the emergency exit gets clearer and clearer, and Bitty turns toward them. Jack bursts through, clearly flushed, but smiling happily, victorious, running toward Bitty holding a wrapped present.

Bitty hangs up his phone. “The elevator would’ve been–

Jack crashes into him and kisses him eagerly and messily, stopping Bitty mid word.

“Happy Birthday.” Jack pulls back, delight in his eyes, and hands over the present.

“You were right,” Bitty admits with relief. “You did make it, one piece and all.”

“Told you,” Jack says happily. “And it’s…” he checks his watch. “Eleven fifty-eight. Quick.”

“Jack!” Bitty shouts as Jack bends down to lift Bitty over his shoulder and carry him inside.

“No time to waste. You’ve gotta open that.”

“We could’ve done that in the hallway. You’re ridiculous.” Bitty repeats the sentiment from earlier.

“Okay, go go go.” Jack plops Bitty down on the couch and sits pressed up beside him. “One minute.”

Bitty holds his hand up in front of Jack. Jack grabs it and kisses it, then puts it on top of the present. By this stage, Bitty’s caught up in the manic energy Jack is radiating. He rips open the packaging, struggling some with the amount of sticky tape on the present. He throws it behind him once it’s off and stares down at the plain cardboard box.

“Open it,” Jack encourages.

Bitty does, pulling it out in wonder.

“Wow, Jack. It’s…” He gives it a shake. “Is that us?”

“Yeah.” Jack nods. “I had it custom made by one of Lardo’s friends. They said–”

This time, Bitty cuts Jack off with a kiss. “I love it.”

He looks at the snow globe, with the miniature glass work Jack and Bitty inside, kissing on an icy pond, surrounded by falling snow.

Jack throws an arm around Bitty’s shoulders and pulls him in. He kisses the top of Bitty’s head, and whispers, “Happy Birthday.”

It’s after midnight now, but Bitty’s not going to point that out.

to contribute to the ‘humans are weird’ posts...

Okay, but what about marathons tho. Humans are built to follow animals on foot. Until the animal literally gives up and dies. That’s how we hunt. We’re not super fast or claw-y or bite-y. we just keep running. Forever

Imagine aliens finding out about marathons. Aliens who are stealth predators or evolved from sedentary species learning that humans just straight up run their prey to death. 

Alien Wimu: Human Nik, I have been watching this hologram for several ngu’la. What are these humans doing?
Human Nik: Oh, wow, that’s the Olympics! It’s a competition where humans see who is the best at various physical tasks. This is the marathon, I think? 
Alien Wiro: We have tests of physical prowess on Mngumu as well. But I have been watching for several ngu’la and these humans have been running the entire time. I am concerned. Are they well? Has something gone wrong with the event? Is something chasing them? 
Human Nik: Nope, that’s the event! It’s actually really cool. A long time ago, this human ran – a bunch of kilometers? Something like 40, I think – because he was carrying a message to a place called Marathon from … someplace in Greece because of a war or something. He died I think. Anyway, now a lot of people do it! I actually ran a half-marathon for charity once. It was pretty grueling but it felt really good.
Alien Wiro: …I’m sorry, but I believe you said 40 kilometers. That is equivalent to roughly 349 shmo! 
Human Nik: Yeah, that sounds about right. 
Alien Wiro: And you said the original person died?
Human Nik: Well, I think. But like I said we train for it now. It’s not so bad, really. 
Alien Wiro: … 
Human Nik: Anyway, thanks for showing me! It’s really easy to lose track of time up here, wow. Had no idea the Olympics were happening. 
Alien Wiro:

@space-australians

Langst! More Langst!

Keith lunged toward Lance once more, pinning him for the third time in two minutes. Their sparring matches usually ended in Keith’s victory, but never this quickly.

“Come on, Lance; you’re not even trying,” he prodded. Lance’s grimace (the one he’d been sporting all day, Keith had noticed) turned into an outright scowl at Keith’s jab.

“Sorry,” he said flippantly, “I’m distracted. And tired. Can I be done with this for the day?” Shiro looked surprised when Lance turned toward him, but before he could answer, Keith was interrupting.

“Seriously? You’re just ‘done with this for the day?’” 

Lance bristled. “I wasn’t asking you.”

“You know why we train, right?” Keith pressed. 

“Keith, knock it off,” Shiro grumbled, but Keith didn’t stop his assault. 

“It’s because what we do is important. So whatever you’ve got that’s distracting you, whatever girl turned you down at the space mall or whatever conditioner you ran out of, you need to forget about it so you can focus on your actual responsibility to the universe for once.”

“Well, I’m sorry; not all of us just have this one big responsibility to the fucking universe,” Lance snapped in a terrifying quiet tone. “Can I not be cut a little bit of slack on the one day that I can’t stop thinking about the responsibility I was pulled away from?”

Keith looked shocked, his mouth falling open for a moment. Lance sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I just–I’m stressed out. Can I just go back to my room?” Lance asked.

“No,” Shiro replied, “Tell us what you meant. What other responsibilities are you talking about?” Lance often felt homesick, Shiro knew, but he had always thought it was missing the comforts of home–not some kind of fear of what he had left behind.

Lance hesitated. “I mean, my mom is back on Earth, raising six children alone, and the next oldest one is my little sister, and she’s only 14.”

Shiro softened. “I’m sorry,” he replied, “I had no idea. But you know they’re fine, right? You mom was on her own with them while you were at Garrison, wasn’t she?”

“Well yeah,” Lance admitted, “but that’s the problem. That school is expensive, and it took almost all of our savings money. I was supposed to start working over the summer as a cargo pilot and eventually get a full time piloting job to cover the expenses, but now I’m here, and they’re on Earth with all my debt and loans on one income. My sister is supposed to start looking at schools this year, but without my loans paid off, she’s not going to have any options. She’s just going to have to get a job, and that’s–I just can’t–today is–” he trailed off, but Pidge knew what he was trying to say.

“The deadline for Garrison applications,” she finished. Lance nodded, not taking his eyes off the floor. 

“Mi hermanita would have made a really great pilot,” he near-whispered, smiling sadly, “way better than me. And she’s not going to get to be one. Because I’m here defending the universe. So, yeah,” he looked back up at Keith with tears shimmering in his eyes, “I know this is my one big duty. And I know it comes with sacrifices, and I’ve made them all willingly. But I just–my sister shouldn’t have to, right? She doesn’t get to go to flight school because of her brother, who she probably thinks is dead anyway? I’m trying, but I just–today I need a little slack.” He set his bayard down on the ground and turned away. “I’m done with this for the day,” he said as he went back to his room. No one stopped him this time.

3

AU: Maria Hill receives a mission to go undercover with Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow. Somehow the mission has been compromised and now they are on the run. 

[part 1] [part 2]

Jealous much

(A/N): I decided why the hell not do a poly relationship?

Request:  Can you do an imagine where the reader loves Bucky/Steve, but he has a girlfriend and when the reader decides to move on he gets jealous or something ? ( please make it angst at first and then really fluffy at the end ) thank you 😊

Warnings: jealous super soldiers, swearing

Tags: @mcuimxgine, @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x, @saradi1018,  @holland-toms,  @superwholockian309@fly-f0rever, @capbuckthor, @livandlilah


Originally posted by marvxl-trash

   You sip at your drink sadly, your spirits had been depleted hours ago and all you wanted to do was go to your room and sleep until Sunday but seeing as how this was Bucky’s 100th birthday that would be rude. So now here you were, drinking all alone in the corner of Tony’s bar as everyone danced and had a fan-fucking-tastic time, or more specifically Bucky and Steve.

   You wanted to growl in annoyance when you looked over at the rugged super soldiers, all tall and thick and- God no, you needed to stop thinking like that. They were your teammates for Christ’s sake and here you were, ogling at them. It’s not like it would ever work out anyways…they had girlfriends and damn good looking ones too. Steve had Sharon, beautiful, slender, badass Sharon and Bucky had some girl named Dot, some cute curly red haired, green eyed innocent little thing and well- you had no one but yourself and a bottle of scotch.

   With a dry chuckle you drink another shot, allowing the burning liquid to soothe your pain.

   You had no right to be jealous, they were never yours to begin with, what made you feel entitled enough to dictate who they dated or fell in love with? The last one sticks to your tongue, making the burning in your throat a million times worse.

   What if Bucky and Steve both fell in love with someone other than you? What if they settled down, finally started a family, and you never got the chance to tell them how much you loved them? Tears begin to pinprick your eyes but you refuse to let them fall, this was a joyous occasion, it was Bucky’s big one hundred for fucks sake, you couldn’t cry now but you could drown your sorrows in your lovely scotch. You take another swig of the burning liquid, allowing it to simmer in your mouth before gliding down your throat, leaving an even more unpleasant burning feeling. You cough a but, trying to rid your throat of the horrid burning when suddenly there’s a hand upon your shoulder, grasping it gently.

   “Heya,” You look back only to come face to face with a stranger- but a rather attractive one at that. “I’m Brent,” You smile to the best of your ability, cringing lightly at yourself.

   “I’m (Y/N),”

   “(Y/N)’s a very pretty name,” You blush a bit. God, you were blushing, how sad are you?

  “Thank you,”

   “So um- I saw you over here drinking scotch alone and I thought maybe you’d like to go dancing with me?” You let your eyes linger on the man, brown hair, blue eyes, a gorgeous jaw and the perfect height; he was like the love child of Steve and Bucky himself and you were more than attracted to him.

   “I can’t promise I won’t step on your feet,” Brent chuckles as he takes your hand in his, gingerly as possible as though you were made of porcelain.

   “A few broken toes is no big deal,” You laugh as you make your way to the dance floor, the intoxicating music slowly starting to get to you. All around people were dancing, some more reserved but for the most part everyone was grinding on each other, having a damn good time and well- you deserved to have a damn good time too. Immediately Brent’s hands settle upon your waist as you slowly begin to move to the best of the music. A little grind here, a little grind there. Before you know it the two of you are practically dry humping and amidst other people as well. It felt so dirty but it felt oh so right too. You bite your lip as you allow yourself to succumb to the moment, to let yourself finally be free of anything other than Brent’s hands upon your waist and the way his cock ever so deliciously-

   “(Y/N).” There was a dangerous growl, low and throaty and more than intimidating. You slowly open your eyes, feeling rather drunk on the music and Brent, and you slowly focus in on the two figures ahead of you, each one with their arms folded over their chest in an almost defensive manner. “(Y/N), can we talk to you? In private-” It was Bucky. It was Bucky and Steve both standing there, staring at you disapprovingly. Oh god- what had you done? What was wrong? Did they somehow did out about your love for them? Or maybe it was something worse?

   A million thoughts start swimming through your mind as you slowly step away from Brent, giving him a soft apology before stepping up to the two super soldiers.

   Their gaze upon you was scary, a dark almost predatory like look to them. You’d seen this look a thousand times before, usually directed at Tony or some enemies but never you. God- to get them to look at you like that meant you had to have done something horrible. Guess you’d be finding out in a few minutes… 


   The elevator ride up to Bucky and Steve’s shared floor was tense, with one soldier on either side of you, making you feel small and rather childlike. There was an almost angry air surrounding the two of them and it scared you more than anything.

   You replayed the last week in your mind, trying to figure out what you had done wrong. You had done all your training sessions, every mission was a success, you had bought Bucky a birthday present; what else was there that you could have messed up? Your throat runs dry as the elevator dings and both soldiers make their way out, thus forcing them out with you.

   “You guys-” your voice is shy and timid at best. “What’s going on? Why are you so angry?” Both Steve and Bucky chuckle, shaking their heads as though they were amused.

   “You really don’t know why were angry?” Bucky’s tone sends shivers down your spine, and not the pleasant kind either.

   “N-no,”

   “How about the fact you were essentially fucking some stranger right on the dance floor, does that ring a bell?” Steve’s tone is just as dark and it scares you more than anything else.

   “I-I’m sorry, everyone else was doing it, I-I thought it was okay,”

   “All that man was trying to do was get down your pants,” For some reason now is when your nerves return, full force at that too. You went from scared and helpless to confident and angry in only a matter of seconds.

   “And why do you care Rogers? Maybe you should focus less on me and more on that girlfriend of yours,” Steve growls as he suddenly lunges for you, pinning you to the wall behind you.

   “What if I don’t want anyone down these pants, hmm? What if I want you all to myself, ever thought of that?” You gulp as you look at Steve, at the dark look upon his face and the intimidating look in his eyes. “What if Bucky wanted you, what then? What if we both want you but you’re too fucking oblivious to all our attempts?” You look to Bucky who shares the same look with Steve, dark and intimidating.

   His words don’t even set in for a few moments as you play them over and over again in your head, mulling each word, syllable, and vowel meticulously.

   "Wait…you both- you both want me?”

   “Fuck yes,” Bucky growls, his voice lower than you had ever heard. “Wanted you since the moment we laid eyes on you doll,” You squirm withing Steve’s grasp, looking between the two men uncomfortably. It wasn’t exactly nice to be pinned by Steve or to have him and Bucky glaring straight daggers at you.

   “What about Sharon and dot?”

   “No,” Bucky shakes his head. “They don’t count- they’re not you, they’re not as special,” You gulp as Steve’s face looms over you, his rather scary gaze only making your heart rate increase.

   “This isn’t some kind of sick joke?” You whisper timidly, a bit too scared to know the answer. If Bucky and Steve were lying that meant a world of heartache for you but if they said yes that meant a million other things- two personal furnaces to keep you warm at night, more coffee to make in the mornings, more love to share and receive-

   “No, how many times do we have to say that we want you (Y/N)?” Steve’s voice is right beside your ear, sending almost pleasurable sparks up your spine.

   You sigh shakily as his words finally set in, Bucky and Steve wanted you, the two men you’d fallen in love with wanted you just as much as you wanted them. Steve goes to say something else, his lips in a near snarl when you pounce upon him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you hug him tightly. The man must have been thoroughly taken back by your sudden moves but only a moment passes before he’s melting into your embrace, any trace of anger having immediately been wiped from his system.

    “You can get in on this too Bucky,” You mumble from your place in Steve’s neck. There’s an almost disbelieving chuckle and suddenly another pair of arms wrap around you, making the hug that much better. Bucky’s head nuzzles against yours and your unable to stop the happy chuckles that falls from your lips as Bucky sweetly kisses your lips, soothing any nerves or fear you previously had.

   “Save some for me Barnes,” Steve chuckles as Bucky breaks away, licking his lips deliciously. Without a moment to waste Steve kisses you, his lips just as soft and sweet as Bucky’s. at this point you felt high on whatever was in the air right now, lust? Love? Whatever it was you were definitely feeling it but the sudden thump of music floors below you pulls you out if your almost high. You pull away from Steve, much to his dismay.

   “Bucky, what about your party?” Bucky smirks as he takes your hand, gently guiding you out of Steve’s embrace and down a hall.

   “I was thinking we could have a little party Of our own,” The soldier gives you a little flirtatious wink.

   “But what about everyone else and-”

   “What birthday boy wants birthday boy gets, right?” You nod your head, biting your lip. “And I want you naked and on my bed in a minute, you Better be ready for us doll,” Bucky smirks as he gives your ass a light smack as you walk into his bedroom, more like jump into the room due from the almost heart attack Bucky caused you. “One minute doll,” Bucky gives you one last wink as he closes the door, leaving you to get ready for not only him but Steve as well.

   You bite your lip as your fingers tremble to remove your shirt. You didn’t even know what you were to Bucky and Steve, special, you knew that much but that was it, there was nothing else to go on. But one thing was for certain at this point; this was going to be one hell of a night.

~Extended ending~

    Two pairs of arms wrapped around your waist snugly, two warm chest pressed against you, one to your front and one to your back. You hum softly as you nuzzle into the closest body; Steve. His warmth radiated off his body in waves, overtaking the freezing room and keeping you more than warm. Bucky was pressed behind you, his scruffy face nuzzled into your neck, his breath gently hit your skin as he breathed in and out.

   You groan softly as you try to stretch your limbs but with two super soldiers glued to you that was kind of hard.

   “Bucky- Steve,” You poke each man’s cheek in an attempt to wake them up. “Come on, I gotta go make breakfast,”

   “You don’t have to make breakfast,” Bucky whispers into your neck as he pulls you a little closer. Apparently a poke to his cheek had been enough to wake him up unlike Steve who was now burrowing into your chest like a dog or cat of sorts. “You can lay in bed with us for the rest of the day,” You smile softly as Bucky kisses your ear, his lips barely fluttering against your skin.

   “So no coffee or bacon?”

   “There’s that pancake house down the road, once Steve gets his lazy ass up we’ll go there, sound good?” You go to reply when suddenly an equally sleepy voice penetrates the air, making both you and Bucky chuckle softly.

   “I’m awake you ass,” it was times like these, when the three of you could simply be- no worry of the media or the other avengers, no worry about hydra or aliens from other dimensions- that you realized you loved your boys more than anything in the world.

TalesFromRetail: "What do you mean, I need ID?!"

On mobile, sorry for any wonky formatting or overzealous autocorrect.

So this one happened a while ago at my video game store. We buy games people are done with, but such a transaction actually falls under my government’s pawn shop laws. To complete the transaction, we need a piece of photo ID - preferably a driver’s license - from someone over the age of eighteen. Now, I’ve seen some people try and get around this in creative ways, from using their government health cards (which we can’t accept, because they’re tied to confidential health information) to student ID cards. When we tell them no, the customer usually is pretty cool about it, and will come back later with proper ID, or mooch some off a friend.

Except for this guy. This happened probably in my second week of working at this store. We’ll call him “TG” for “Trade Guy”. MG is my manager.

TG: “Yeah, I wanna sell these games.”

Me: “Sure. I’ll need some photo ID to complete the transaction.”

TG: “I don’t have any. Can you take the games anyway?”

Because “need” clearly defines something as optional, right?

Me: “No, sir, it’s Canadian law. I need a piece of government-issued photo ID to complete the transaction.”

TG did not like this at all.

TG: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I NEED ID?! I DON’T HAVE ANY ID, THAT’S BULLSH!T YOU JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO YOUR JOB. THE MANAGER LETS ME SELL GAMES TO YOU WITHOUT ID ALL THE TIME. I DROVE FORTY-FIVE MINUTES TO GET HERE TO SELL THESE GAMES AND YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE THEM.”

All in one breath. It would have been impressive, had it not been my second week on the job and I wasn’t scared out of my mind. Manager had my back though.

MG: “First of all, don’t talk to my associate that way, or I’ll have you escorted out. Second, it’s the law and she’s doing her job just fine. Third, I’ve never seen you before, and I am the manager. And lastly… if you drove forty-five minutes to get here, how can you not have ID on you? Don’t you need some kind of… I don’t know, a license to operate a motor vehicle?”

TG sputtered for a second, went very quiet, and left the store.

People are weird, man.

Edit: a word.

By: Anthem_of_the_Angels

i was lookin at @lovelylangst ’s page and all that langst made me think 

what if there was an exercise where the paladins have to find a fault within themselves??? anyways, i didn’t wanna write a whole fic so here we go with some langst drabble…..


Lance stares at Allura with an open mouth. “For this exercise you must think of and share one fault you have. You will discuss among yourselves.” They had to do what? The other’s must have seen his shock.

“What? Too much ego to even think of one?” Keith asks snidely. Lance frowns.

“Keith. While that was a bit harsh, he is right, Lance. It shouldn’t be too hard to find one. We all have problems.” Someone snorts and it takes Lance a second to realize it was Keith and not him. Shiro’s words stung, even if he didn’t mean them in a rude way.

“That-that’’s not what I was going to say at all.” Lance cuts in.

“Oh? Is the great Lance saying he actually has a fault?” Pidge asks sarcastically. Lance shoots them a glare.

“No.” That came out wrong. Now Allura is looking back at him, frustrated. 

“Lance it is normal to have flaws, just find something.” Lance’s patience is wearing thin. So thin it’s going to snap.

“NO! You guys don’t get it! I have too many to choose from! Which one do you want? My poor skills in hand to hand combat? My stupid and unnecessary jokes? My bad timing and luck? The fact that I’m just useless in general? You’re going to need to be more specific, Allura, or I won’t know what you mean.” Hot tears burn at his eyes, blurring his vision. He barely sees his teammates faces settle into shock and sadness.

 Someone is reaching out for his shoulder. A firm hand grips it, and Lance blinks away his tears to see Keith.

“I-I’m so sorry Lance, I-I didn’t mean it. I swear, I was just trying to joke around-I-I never meant it, really. You are so important Lance, I’m so sorry for making you feel that way.”  Lance gulps.

“Lance. Not all of that is true. You are not useless, you are our sharpshooter, you are irreplaceable. We could never think of you as anything less. You may joke a bit but your jokes help our team to calm down. It wouldn’t be the same without you.” Lance sniffles at Shiro’s words.

Hunk comes around beside him, silently wrapping him up in a tight hug. He feels Pidge join the hug after a few moments.

“I’m so sorry Lance. I’ve failed as your best friend. I don’t think I can even call myself that anymore.” Hunk sobs. 

I-I am so, so, so sorry.” Pidge says, hiding their face in his jacket. Slowly, the other start to join the hug, Allura and Coran last.

“My boy, I didn’t intend to hurt you this way. I am forever sorry.” Coran says, tears dripping down into his mustache.

“Lance, you are so very important to the team, and to us as people. I would never wish anyone else to take your place, as no one could fill it adequately.” Lance sobs, holding his space family closer. They stand there for what seems like forever, but no one is complaining, not even Keith. Noticing that, Lance pokes the red paladin.

“So you do care a bit, even an emo like you has some emotion.” Keith smiles and shakes his head.

“Of course I care, you idiot.” Lance is the happiest he’s been in ages, feeling the surrounding love and comfort of his team. 

It takes a while, and it’s never fully gone, but it gets better. Easier. The team only grows stronger, in spirit and power, and Lance is rightfully recognized as the heart of the team.

BTS REACTIONS

ANONYMOUS ASKED :

Hi!! If your request are still open I would like to request a BTS reaction to you walking around your house in a tee shirt and underwear please and thank you 😊            

Hi~ Sorry for the long wait :) Here is your reaction!

BTS REACTION TO YOU WALKING AROUND ONLY IN AN OVERSIZED SHIRT AND UNDERWEAR

Originally posted by rapmooni

Namjoon:

“ I’m a gentlemen therefore I gotta act like one and make the lady as comfortable as she is. I mean, if she took off her pants, it means that she trusts me enough to do it, right? Anyways namjoon, just shut it and lend her a hoodie or something so that she doesn’t freeze.” He pauses “Y/N!!! Do you want some hot cocoa and maybe some pants to warm up! It’s cold in here” he’d cough

Originally posted by jiminahhh

Seokjin:

“ Ooh~ What a look” Seokjin would wink at you “ I like those fuzzy socks, they match perfectly with that white shirt and that gorgeous pair of legs” he’d comment flirtatiously “ Your legs look more appetizing than these chicken legs” he’d laugh at his own joke “ get it? Because I’m eating chicken legs…no? Okay then “

Originally posted by nnochu

 Jimin:

“Isn’t she feeling cold? I swear to my smol chimchim that I shivered a few seconds when she passed by. Maybe it’s the weather, or maybe it’s the fact that under that oversized shirt …@!#!%#@^$$. WHY IS SHE DOING THIS TO a DEPRIVED 21 YEAR OLD MAN LIKE ME” jimin would fake a sob “Screw college! All I need is a detox from this lack of action”

Originally posted by askmeifimadalek

Jungkook:

“Yeah maybe she just forgot that normal humans usually wear pants? But she’s a normal human. Why am I talking about her as if she’s abnormal for not wearing pants? Maybe I’m the one who’s crazy. Yeah let’s just walk past her and ignore ignore ignore” he mumbles to himself

“Jungkook” you call him

Oh well f*ck, here goes my purity. LEFT.DONE.VANISHED.RUINED. DECEASED.TERMINADO.FINITO.

Originally posted by toughchim

Taehyung:

Taehyung would be torn between embarrassment and his tendencies to join along in crazy stuff

“ Oh well hi, Did I miss something or did you forget something, because you’re like.. not wearing pants and it’s uhm…” he’d feel his ears heating up as he’d try changing topics”IS IT A NEW TREND?! SHOULD I JOIN YOU?”

Originally posted by nycbtslover

Hoseok :

Hoseok stares at you for a few seconds before realizing the absence of any pants on your soft legs . He’d probably follow along with you.

“WHAT AN AMAZING IDEA!” he snaps his fingers “ No wonder why I get inspired more easily when my pants come off. I should do it more often” Hoseok slowly takes off his pants off   “ Let’s make this a tradition , man” he’d bro fist you

Originally posted by imonaworldtour

Yoongi :

Being the old grandpa he is, he wouldn’t miss a chance to give you some constructive criticism

“ Youth these days go around with no pants” He’d eye your long legs “ Not that I’m complaining or anything lik,e that, but don’t come complaining after you catch a cold “ he’d cough “ Maybe I can help you warm up those legs and prevent any of us from getting a flu.” He’d comment “Don’t get the wrong idea. I only care about myself”


Hope you enjoyed~