but am proud if myself

dduchovnys  asked:

prompt: In "Detour", Scully sings "Joy to the World" to a wounded Mulder, to stay awake and comfort him (we all know that was part of it. let's just admit it.) What if the situation was reversed? What would Mulder sing to her?

THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’m not sure this is exactly what you were thinking, but this is what came to my mind. I’d put in season 6? Maybe.

“Does this remind you of anything?” Mulder, very carefully, draws Scully closer to him. Her coat rustles; the thick layers don’t provide enough warmth for her shivering body. It’s the shock, she told him a few minutes ago. Ever the doctor, his Scully. Right now she’s a petulant patient, though.

“No,” she replies, her teeth chattering, “should it?”

“I’m wounded, Scully. Remember the mothmen case in Florida?” Scully groans and he takes it as a yes. The scene is eerily similar: stranded in the woods, thanks to him, and one of them injured in need of warmth and comfort. The only difference is that this time it’s Scully who is in pain.

“We really should bring sleeping bags next time.” He chuckles at her remark before he turns serious again. “How is your leg?” Scully isn’t prone to injuries the same way he is and Mulder wishes he’d been ahead of her. He would have tripped over the tree root and then fallen right into a hidden trap. Scully insisted on being fine at first, unsurprisingly, but when they stopped and she inspected her leg, there was a gaping cut and her ankle swollen. Which is why, once again, they’re trapped in the forest, swallowed by darkness.

“I’ll live.” His little trooper.

“You need to sleep, Scully.” He maneuvers her even closer, providing all the warmth he can give her. She feels light as a feather on him. She sighs as she cuddles against him, the absence of any protest proving how exhausted she is. When she draws her leg closer, she winces.

“You will be fine, right?” He should be the one assuring her that everything would turn out all right. But he deals in hope and dreams, and she is the medical doctor.

“Yes, Mulder. The cut isn’t deep and it’s not infected. My ankle is merely sprained. I’ll be fine.“

“Good. That’s good…do you want me to tell you a story?”

“Hm, no,” Scully’s voice is thick with sleep; Mulder hopes the ibuprofen she had with her helps alleviate the pain to a degree so she can get some rest, “you made me sing… when we were in the forest like this. You made me sing.” Mulder smiles; she wasn’t lying when she said she couldn’t carry a tune. What she doesn’t know though is that he can.

“I’ll sing to you,” he whispers into the cool night, “but it won’t be Joy to the World.” She mumbles something against his thigh and he puts his arms around her tightly.

“Just pretend,” he begins singing, his voice low; he sure isn’t Elvis, but he’s better than she is, “I’m holding you… and whispering things soft and low.” She is quiet against him; the shivering has stopped for now.

“And think of me, how it’s gonna be. Just pretend I didn’t go… when I walked away, I heard you say if you need me, you know what to do. I knew it then, I’d be back again. Just pretend I’m right here with you.”

“Don’t need to.” Scully’s voice is soft against him, barely above a whisper. He leans his head down, her hair almost tickling his nose.

“Sleep, Scully.”

“Hm. But don’t need to… pretend. You’re here, Mulder. Here with me.” She can’t see it, he knows, but he smiles anyway and he nods. He’s here and he’ll never leave her. Not willingly.

“Chorus?” She asks sleepily and it sounds like she’s smiling, too. He hopes she is as he continues singing to her, never stopping once until he’s certain she is asleep.

oliver-kahn  asked:

ok but can we just talk about julian's acting for a second here because the scene where he has to shoot alex was so fucking good HE LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE A LOST PUPPY AND TOTALLY BROKEN fuck he was too good for this show

yes we CAN. he was phenomenal. I knew he would be brilliant but he gave me EVERYTHING. I am so proud to call myself a Wren theorist right now. Julian aced this performance and made Wren such a complex character despite minimal opportunities to show it. He did so good. Him and Troian absolutely owned this episode.

“fucking degenerate”

“an attention seeker”

said by someone who found out that i have a girlfriend and will attend Helsinki Pride. i don’t know what this person’s intentions with this was, but if it was to hurt me and make me less proud of myself - well, it didn’t work! it did hurt for a second but it didn’t make me any less proud of who i am. what one random person on the internet says doesn’t matter to me. now, i know many people think the way that person does. but personally, i don’t care what others say about me and my identity. i am proud of myself. i know i might be in danger of mean words and violence, but i will not stop until every member of the lgbt community is free to be themselves.

not 2 hav a gross ego or what not but i am just so proud 2 b myself and not anybody else. like i wouldnt rlly choose 2 b any other way. i hate all the ppl who hav hurt me but thank god i am not them. but i almost hav 2 thank them 4 making me who i am today bcus ive never had as much motivation and inspiration 2 succeed and b beautiful and creative and unique and rise above as b4 all my difficult experiences. and i def have 2 thank even more all the ppl i luv and who luv me who treat me so special and make me feel and believe im just as wonderful as they think i am. like i guess just thx 2 everyone i have ever met in a way cuz i dont think i could ever feel as golden as i do now. this all sounds ridiculous. but i just am so happy 2 have self esteem finally and stability and success and to be getting mostly everything that i want out of life


partycardigann  asked:

that bitch face taemin makes at minho when minho can't remember his birthday. i think about it a lot.

concept: since that broadcast taem’s been popping up with a bday cake for minho on every 9th of the month except for december. the spelling of minho’s name on the cake gets worse each time - it starts with ‘choi mango’ and somehow ends in ‘alola exeggutor’ because taem’s salty like that

anonymous asked:

100 ways to say I love you?

1. โ€œEverything is gonna be okayโ€

2.ย โ€œWe can go outside if your having anxietyโ€

3.ย โ€œiโ€™m here if you need to talkโ€

4.ย โ€œyour really something arenโ€™t youโ€

5.ย โ€œI like you just the way you areโ€

6.ย โ€œi worry about youโ€

7.ย โ€œyour my favoriteโ€

8.ย โ€œI believe in youโ€

9.ย โ€œyour important to meโ€

10.ย โ€œi careโ€

11.ย โ€œI was just thinking about youโ€

12.ย โ€œi noticedโ€

Keep reading

groundedvindaloop  asked:

something not specific - a cute kyle doing cute kyle things

i guess these arent specifically cute things but hes always cute so it doesnt rly matter

Friendship Comes First:  What (Good) Fanfiction Can Teach Us About the Romantic Subplot.

I love all forms of storytelling:  television, books, movies, you name it.  As long as it’s quality, its ripe for the picking.  

It’s so easy for me to become engrossed in the lives and psychologies of fictitious characters, to care for them as though they’re people I really know.  Which, on some metaphysical level, I suppose is true, but that’s a topic for another essay.

However, in the midst of all my possibly Asperger’s-fueled hyper-fixation and nerdery, there’s one inevitable aspect of seemingly every plot to which I will almost always role my eyes and click the fast-forward button:  the goddamned romantic subplot.

So many times have I seen the exact same variation of romantic love between fifty homogeneous couples, and each time, I failed to see the appeal:  in books, the smirking, obnoxious male love interest will woo the object of his desire through flagrant disrespect, the same toned bodies will copulate furiously on my television screens (typically at the exact same moment my parents or small siblings will walk into the room), the same vapid, flirtatious stares and generic dialogue will be exchanged. 

But where’s the basis for it?  Yes, these people are stressed to be attracted to one another to the point of obnoxiousness, but do they even like each other as individuals?  Are they even friends?  Is there any three-dimensionality to their relationship besides sizing each other up and deciding to bump uglies? 

Simply and also sadly, the answer is very rarely.  And so, it seemed to me that romance was not my cup of tea, both in the fictitious world and out of it.  Or so it seemed.  

Because it was then, at approximately seventeen, that I discovered a remarkable phenomenon that would change my life forever:  fanfiction.  

Never before had I been so enraptured in the relationships of fictional characters, and I was baffled as to why.  Yes, I’ve read a tremendous deal of fanfiction that is, in fact, book quality, but as an avid bibliophile, I was perplexed as to why I’d never been so captivated by the romantic endeavors of a published author as I was by the passion-projects of writers not much older than I was.     

After a lot of time, careful consideration, and the illuminating words of some of my fellow bloggers, however, I believe I can finally put words as to why. 

1.  Give your characters a narrative purpose (besides being The Love Interest.) 

Do you ever wonder what inspires Supernatural fans to tirelessly churn out fics about their favorite human-on-angel pairing?  I have, and this is someone who’s a proud proponent of the stuff.  

The sheer magnitude of free literature available, constantly repositing the pair in all manor of situations and walks of life, is absolutely baffling, and undeniably impressive.  Indeed, some of the best works of romantic literature – and yes, I do consider fanfiction to be a form of literature – I have ever come across were starring none other than this specific pairing:  from the infamous Twist and Shout (which I don’t recommend if you ever want to listen to Elvis Presley music, visit a beach, or feel joy ever again) to the charming Have Love, Will Travel (probably my personal favorite), some truly beautiful love stories have blossomed from a pairing that has never even been confirmed onscreen to have romantic connotations.  

Perhaps just as baffling is the other end of the spectrum:  Lisa Braeden.  Lisa, for those unfamiliar, is basically posited as the love of Dean’s life, with whom he lived for a year before being forced to give up his dream of a family life and return to full-time demon busting.  They’ve canonically kissed, had sex, shared a bed, and everything typically associated with an onscreen couple.    

Yet comparatively no fanworks exist about them.  When Lisa does appear in a fic, she is usual Castiel’s rival for Dean’s affections, or simply a hapless bystander. 

Why is this?  Well, a disillusioned observer might point to straight women’s apparent predilection towards fetishizing male homosexuality (I, for the record, am not straight myself;  I’m a proud bisexual who, thus far, has only dated women.)  I’m inclined to retort that this isn’t giving female fans nearly enough credit. 

For starters, remove all context from each relationship and examine them with a critical eye:  on the one hand, you have Castiel, Dean’s angelic savior from forty years in perdition.  Castiel is clearly fascinated with Dean, appearing in his bedroom, somewhat suggestively (advertently or otherwise) inquiring about his dreams, watching him sleep, routinely invading his personal space, and ultimately rebelling against heaven in accordance with Dean’s wishes. 

On the other hand, you have Lisa, a perfectly nice character who’s introduced as “the bendiest weekend of (Dean’s) life” and…well, that’s about it.  She’s later shown as a sort of amalgamation of Dean’s subconscious desire for a mother figure and normal life, but she, as a character, remains somewhat underdeveloped and hollow. 

You can’t expect fans to hold the two relationships to the same caliber and then cry internalized misogyny and fetishization of gay and bisexual men when they don’t.

The fact of the matter is, onscreen “friendships” are typically much more developed, much more three-dimensional, and much more ideal of what a truly epic romantic plot should be.  A character with a clear place in the narrative and three dimensional characterization all their own will almost always be more charismatic than a character who’s introduced as exclusively The Love Interest.  

This is not to say that what makes fanfiction so great is that it sexualizes or romanticizes friendship.  In fact, I’m inclined to believe it’s the other way around.  

Which brings me to my next point…

2.  Make sure your characters are friends.

It’s a romance for the ages.  A love like no other.  They’re soulmates, yin and yang, a match made in the stars.

But do they enjoy each other’s company?  Laugh at each other’s jokes?  Take part in each other’s interests?  Are they even friends?  

The sad fact of the matter is, romance and erotica are, as a whole, starved for values of friendship and camaraderie. 

This is something I realized only after my love of fanfiction took root, when I tried to return to my normal sources of adult entertainment (romance, erotica, and porn) and found them, by comparison, almost bafflingly lacking in warmth and camaraderie.  

What I think makes fanfiction so addictive is the fact that it’s built upon the established relationships of two or more characters (the Onceler and company notwithstanding) who, typically, care for one another as friends and compatriots.  

Look at some of the internet’s favorite pairings:  Dean Winchester and Castiel remain a classic.  Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers are always crowd-pleasers.  Kara Denvers and Lena Luthor are seeing a rise in popularity.  We all know Sherlock has somewhat fallen from grace, but the union of its two main characters still retains a devoted following.

This is no accident:  despite lacking onscreen confirmation, these characters have proven themselves to care for one another as more than objects of their sexual desire.  They’re friends, with relationships based in loyalty and warmth that are, unfortunately, sorely lacking in typical fictional romances.  

Once you get a taste of this brand of friendship-infused romance, in fanfiction or otherwise, it’s hard to go back.  

This isn’t just limited to quote-unquote “fanon” couples, either:  couples such as Mulder and Scully, Bones and Booth, Yuuri and Victor, and Ladybug and Chat Noir can all attribute their popularity to this strong basis in friendship, camaraderie, and mutual respect.

This is also the leading cause as to why the formerly booming 50 Shades franchise, and other arguably sexist, abusive dynamics, are struggling at the box office.  

Which reminds me… 

3.  Make sure your characters are equals. 

Unless you’re writing a Lolita-esque social commentary, it’s probably your best bet to keep your characters on fairly equal ground. 

I mean this in every sense of the word, too:  I have a difficult time getting invested in a romance when there’s a pretty blatant power imbalance, which oftentimes occurs due to the implicit sexism of the entertainment industry.

Disproportionately young actresses are assigned as love interests to much older men, such as Emma Watson’s twenty-something-year-old character lusting over a man almost twenty years her senior in Irrational Man.  

Physically mediocre or average-looking male characters are frequently pared with stunningly beautiful women who like them because they’re “nice,” fueling the existing mentality of all self-proclaimed “nice guys” who think society owes them a hot girl.

Furthermore, @popculturedetective just released an amazing video explaining the “Born Sexy Yesterday” trope, in which hopelessly naive, beautiful women are seen swooning over their more savvy male lovers.  (Found here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=0thpEyEwi80)

I love Splash and the Fifth Element as much as anybody, but both films incorporate all these tropes in ample proportions, and it’s frankly ridiculous. (On the topic of Splash, however, I’m greatly looking forward to a subversion of this trope in its remake, starring Channing Tatum as the titular merman and Julianne Belle as his human love interest.) 

On the other hand, you have fanfiction.  I’ve read numerous essays professing that fanfiction is becoming increasingly popular due to the fact that same-sex relationships tend to be implicitly devoid of these sex-based imbalances, and I’m inclined to agree.  

However, I’ve read others stating that male-male pairings tend to be so popular because male characters are typically more well-developed by writers, making it perfectly understandable that fans would be more invested in a possible romance between two characters of equal multidimensionality (see point 1) than one that is sorrowfully underdeveloped.  I’m inclined to think that this theory is even more on point.   

Because look at some of the successful onscreen relationships I listed prior:  we root for Bones and Booth’s inevitable union the same way we swoon over slowburn fanfiction, delighting in Mulder and Scully’s banter and craving their interaction.  

These are, in my opinion, some examples of straight couples done right, because they’re portrayed as friends (see the previous point), and just as importantly, as equals.  

Last, but certainly not least, the male characters in both pairings are depicted as having nothing but respect for their female compatriots, depending on their intellectual know how and not being ashamed to say so. 

A more contemporary example that gets this wrong?  Well, not to offend any fans of the pairing, but Mon-El and Kara, a la Supergirl.  Mon-El was, at the beginnings of his arc, consistently disrespectful towards Kara, putting her down and insulting her in the very same episodes in which her female compatriot – Lena Luthor – is shown vocally admiring and praising her.  

Mon-El has since improved on his behavior, but the damage is done:  I still have a difficult time seeing him as a likeable character, much less a suitable love interest for my beloved Kara.   

These are just a few recommendations, based on the ways in which my somewhat obsessive love of transformative literature (i.e. good fanfiction) have helped me as a writer and helped me view the implicit problems with mainstream romance with a more discerning and critical eye.

Here, I could provide a counterpoint with the recurring problems I’ve noticed in fanfiction, or I could go into some recomendations for writing explicitly gay and lesbian relationships.  Both of these, however, are topics worthy of another essay.

Disclaimer:  I am assuming that any and all readers are trying for an enjoyable, healthy romantic subplot with equally charismatic, consenting, and likable characters.  Dysfunctionality can be just as interesting from a literary standpoint, but again, this is a topic for another essay.

There will be essays like this published at least once every other week, so be sure to follow my blog and stay tuned for future writing advice and observations! 


Caejose Week 2016
Day 7 - Growing Old

you guys remember that Howl’s Moving Castle au i did last september? well its back