but also a shitter

anonymous asked:

About Keith and Lance, am I the only one with that huge feeling that S3 was just a big slow burn fanfic and now S4 is just... back to the (heterosexual) normality ? I mean... S4 seem SO ooc if you take s3 for example! I'm... Disappointed. Where is the development... Why ruin everything in less than an episode?

What you have to consider is that Keith wasn’t IN season 4. Everyone reacted to him leaving the same way. It’s not that other people reacted and Lance didn’t, it’s that…they all felt the same. While it would have been nice for some Klance interaction, this isn’t negating their relationship from season 3, it’s just…putting it on hold.

I do understand how you feel, though. But what we should keep in mind (in terms of relationship development; plot-wise, I don’t see how this could have worked) is that season 4 was originally part of season 3. We would have seen, in September, both seasons 3 and 4 in one go, and we’d all be having our minds blown at the Klance interaction in the first 7 episodes, and it would be great. By splitting up the season, it feels extremely jarring and like all the development is gone, when in actuality, it’s just focusing on other, plot-related things. (Now, I think those plot-related things are poorly written, but that’s a whole different story.)

The core relationships that developed in seasons 3 and 4, or the original season 3, were Lance and Keith, and Lance and Allura. We also got two scenes of one-on-one interaction between Keith and Allura (one in the alternate reality episode, and one in ‘Code of Honor’). I’m obviously not including sibling dynamics in this, as I’m just focusing on the romantic aspect, and I’m going to talk about the eps as if it was one long season, because that was the original intention. Also, please note that this is all my personal opinion, and could totally be interpreted differently – I don’t include character interaction in why I think ships will be canon, and none of this is part of that. These are just my own thoughts on the different possible romantic dynamics.

So, the one that lasted all thirteen episodes was Lance and Allura. He’s completely stopped flirting with her, and only shows her kindness and support. However, we see that he’s still projecting this idea of having a crush on her, what with his interaction with Matt. But…he’s not putting this into practice. He’s going through the motions of ‘I want Allura’ while not actually doing all the things he associates with wanting somebody. Food for thought. All this could definitely be interpreted as him maturing and actually developing genuine feelings for her (which I, personally, am super open to), but I must stress, yet again, the quote about his potential romantic interest being not what he’s looking for, but what he needs. Even if he’s developed feelings for her, she’s exactly what he’s looking for, which automatically means she’s not his true love. I really don’t think he’ll end up with her, much as I’d be perfectly happy with it.

The dynamic that lasted almost the whole season was Lance and Keith – for the most part, the animosity between the two has vanished, and they have become much closer. You all know how their exchanges went in the first seven episodes, so I won’t talk about that. In Keith’s one episode of interaction with the rest of the team during “season 4″, they stood extremely close to each other, and Lance expressed frustration at Keith not wanting to come do the show with them. This was a different argument than the kind they got into in seasons 1 and 2; Lance is completely in the right. So, this is just like their other season 3 arguments. In addition to this interaction, Lance complained to Allura about Keith not being there, Allura tried to calm him, and Lance replied with, “I don’t know why I bother.” (paraphrased - it might have been “I don’t know why I try.”) This was interesting phrasing, in my opinion, and he reminded me of one person in a relationship angry at their significant other for flaking on an event that was important to them. I don’t know, that’s just what it made ME think of.

There wasn’t any other Klance interaction, but there also wasn’t any other Keith interaction. The only other people he talked to of note were Shiro – who he thinks of as a brother – and Allura, in a scene where he told her not to lecture him. But Keith’s feelings have never been what I focus on in relation to potential Klance canonization, because I don’t really know how he feels. For me, Lance is the one that we can really draw a lot of stuff from, so even if Keith gets with Allura (which, in my opinion, is a ship that hasn’t been NEARLY as developed as Klance or All/urance), that doesn’t mean Lance still can’t fall in love with him. In fact, if Ka/llura happens, it might be what prompts Lance into realizing that he likes Keith, and would be a nice plot twist from the expected love triangle (the two of them fighting over Allura). I know that dreaded love triangle has been weighing on people’s minds, but I truly think that if it happens, they’re going to subvert it and make Keith the center of it, rather than Allura. In fact, when they all jumped in for the group hug, Allura, Keith, and Lance’s heads made a LITERAL triangle, with Keith in the center and Allura and Lance on either side. Not that that means anything, I just thought it was interesting.

Anyway, totally going off on a tangent here. In essence, when you think of the relationship progression between all of the characters, consider this as one big season, which was the original intention. The only reason we didn’t get more interaction was because a), the season was split, and b), because Keith was written out of the show.

Imagine you woke up one day to find several years had gone by in a blink. Maybe you were in a coma. Maybe you were in cryo-sleep. Maybe you angered a witch (it’s probably that one). Whatever: If you had a job and a place to live, you don’t anymore. Your friends have probably moved on. You feel out of place in the world. Oh, also, you have a giant tattoo on your forehead that says “desk-shitter,” because you shit on a witch’s desk, buddy – not a good move. That’s pretty much the same situation inmates are in, right after they’re released from prison: Not only adrift, but with stigma attached. Luckily, there are people who help. We spoke to “Carla,” who used to work at a correctional facility designed to assist inmates preparing for life on the outside.

One popular way to end up at Carla’s facility was to “serve more than 10 years in a state correctional facility and apply or be recommended to transition and finish your sentence early,” Carla told us. That includes legitimate murderers and psychopaths, who were absolutely not ready to re-enter society.

“When there’s a psychopathic rapist on the second floor and his file says ‘episodes triggered by ponytail hairstyle,’ don’t forget to bun your hair before bed check because he’s a fast motherfucker,” Carla says. “Some of them tried to kill me, [including a] neo-Nazi who constantly threatened to kill me until he knocked up a black stripper with twins and I helped her sign up for public assistance.”

But not even he was as memorable as the honest-to-God axe-murderer.

What I Learned Helping Hardened Inmates Return To Society

Carisi-centric thoughts on Eps 18x20, 18x21

I’m glad that’s over.

Overall Thoughts

This was an intense but unnecessarily convoluted episode. This case could have been solved in fifteen minutes, not two hours. At least it wasn’t another “rich white people he said/she said,” and all the characters got their moment to shine, but I can’t say I enjoyed it. It wasn’t bad, it just kind of dragged. There was no need to stretch this over two episodes. The squad had to track down about twelve different witnesses to the same crime. Eliminate a couple of those witnesses, a few of the racist rants, and a Hallmark moment or three, and you’d have one tight finale.

Benson’s Dilemma

I have to start here.

The characters kept saying it, but I don’t see what was so different about this particular case (other than the fact it was not about rich white people). Hate crimes happen every day. So do rapes and murders. Why would Barba suddenly decide to urge Liv to lie on the stand? That wasn’t just random and out of character, it wasn’t supported by the script.

If they needed Barba to do that to create tension between himself and Liv, if they wanted to make Liv look better by comparison, and more ethical than Barba, they needed to set it up better. I mean, it didn’t even make sense. When Barba was trying to convince Liv, he effectively said “I’m not saying lie, I’m saying maybe the witness was confused,” but what does that have to do with anything? Liv could only testify to what she personally heard. If the witness says, “I told Benson,” Liv can’t say, “oh, I don’t know, maybe she’s confused”. Liv can only say “yes, she told me,” or “no, she didn’t tell me.” Liv can only tell the truth, and she’s certainly not confused, so what was Barba’s point?

Also, we’re supposed to believe Barba would jeopardize his own career (which is already in the shitter, so maybe I’d buy that, actually), but also Liv’s career, and for what? So he wouldn’t lose? For justice? If so, why this case, and not last week’s case? Why not next week’s case? (thank God there’s no next week) Why not every case? Is this something he’s done before? Is this something he’ll do again, if he thinks he can’t win? What are his standards for lying? (probably “is it the season finale?” lol) Does he even have any standards? Where’s the line? Is Barba okay with perjury now? And from now on? Or was it a one-time thing?

Dodds Thoughts

I wish the writers had chosen Dodds Sr. as the only character to gently goad Liv into lying. That would have been enough. I don’t see why Barba had to compromise his own ethics. As a matter of fact, I loved the Dodds Sr./Olivia scene. It’s worth noting that Dodds Sr. didn’t actually try to sway her directly, not like Barba did. Dodds Sr. just offered her some perspective, and shared his own experiences. I loved that he said he had played it both ways, in the past. That was believable, for a cop in his position. It was subtle, and beautifully played, and well-written.

Bottom line, Dodds Sr. still let Liv make up her own mind. Barba tried to be cute, all “lol she was confused, Liv, can’t you say you were confused too? Pretty please?” which kinda rubbed me the wrong way. And Liv clearly felt the same. Compare her reaction to Barba (“are you kidding me, sis?” and then a hilarious rejection) to her reaction to Dodds Sr. (she legitimately asked for his advice, in the end, with that quote about Mike lol whos’ mike?, and she genuinely smiled at him).

I don’t know. The whole thing reeked of “omg you guys it’s the season finale and we need some drama”. I’m glad Liv decided not to lie.

But let’s get to Sonny:

Sonny’s Temper

Finally, the writers found a way to make Sonny angry in a believable way. In a way that wasn’t out of character. In a way that made sense in context, and didn’t come out of nowhere. Seriously, out of all the instances in which Sonny has lost his temper this season, this is the one and only time I felt for him, and thought he was justified. I mean, was it necessary to have him body slamming people left and right, throughout the episode? No. Was it necessary to have him (and everybody else) yelling in every other scene? No. But was it too much, or too violent? Also no.

This wasn’t random anger for no reason, this wasn’t just, “OK guys let’s all SHOUT all our LINES because it’s the season FINALE!!!!” (though that totally happened, too. They even got the usually very whispery Kirk Acevedo to yell, which made me laugh).

Sonny had a real reason to be mad, and that made a difference. Roughing up a perp is one thing, and it still makes me uncomfortable because I’m a SJW oops, sorry, I thought I was an SVU writer for a second, and I started using buzzwords :D

But shoving ICE agents, because they’re detaining a key witness, and they’re practically sending him to his death? Making Sonny break his promise, in the process? And letting rapists and murderers go free? That’s anger I can get behind.

I also appreciated the way Sonny and Barba argued without either of them losing their temper. They disagreed (and they didn’t even really disagree, because Barba was only suggesting to use the threat of deportation as a bluff sort of), but they just expressed their opinions as professionals, and as equals, without any yelling or finger-wagging. And they both (sort of) had a point. That’s the type of argument we might have seen in a previous season, and I enjoyed it watching it play out.

Sonny and Empathy

Finally, we got to see Sonny’s love for children, shining through. That was always one of Sonny’s main characteristics, and we never got to see it this season (aside from Great Expectations, a rare highlight). The way Peter conveyed Sonny’s dismay at busting in on a couple of little girls with a gun in his hand? It was only a two-second reaction, but it said it all. Same for the way he tried to be there for Hector’s poor daughters, kneeling in front of them at the hospital, trying to keep them away from their rightfully furious mother.

It was also interesting how Sonny was the only character who had strong feelings about threatening a woman using her children as leverage. Amanda and Liv, both mothers, had no such qualms (Rollins threatened multiple people’s kids, like five times, and Liv was fine with literally calling ICE). Barba also had no qualms, but then Barba isn’t exactly the most emotional person, lol.

I have to say, I didn’t enjoy those threats. Every time, I’d side with the mother (even the racist one, who otherwise made me shudder). Leave kids out of this (didn’t Liv and Amanda go through this themselves, in Real Fake News?). And don’t use shitty and scary immigration laws to threaten innocent people. It should be said, Soledad’s husband was certainly complicit, but Soledad herself was just lying to keep her family together. Yes, murderers would go free as a result, but her motives weren’t evil. Did she deserve to be separated from her kids?

And, the real question here, the one Liv and Barba ignored: did Soledad’s kids deserve to be separated from their mother?

That was my main issue (and also the main reason I loved Sonny’s reaction). I did agree with Barba in having little sympathy for Soledad, because ultimately she was lying, but what about her children? Barba had no sympathy for them, either. Sonny did (and Fin and Amanda seemed to agree). Sonny even sweetly said, “it’s late, her kids are asleep,” which was a wonderful detail. Liv and Barba were like, “Round ‘em up! Right now! Traumatize those kids for life! Coercion! Fuck yeah!” but Sonny actually stopped to consider the emotional implications for those kids. That one line, and the way he said it, it moved me. It was perfectly consistent with Sonny’s personality. He cares. He sees the big picture, but he also thinks about the little things, and how they affect others. Especially children. 

That’s why that was my favorite Sonny moment in the entire finale. It showcased his empathy, and his idealism, and his conviction in his beliefs. Sonny has always been unafraid to speak his mind, even if his superiors disagree.

Speaking of Sonny’s superiors, I wonder if this stunt made Sonny respect Liv and Barba a little less. Because that happened to me. And Fin, who totally called Liv out :D

Morality Thoughts

I may joke about it, but I loved how Sonny and Fin clearly didn’t approve of that stunt, of threatening a mother of two small children with deportation, and I appreciated the fact they were “allowed” by the writers to express those opinions to Barba and Liv, respectively. I also liked that Liv didn’t answer Fin’s question. That’s the type of “grey area” writing which was sorely missing this season.

This was the rare instance when the audience wasn’t expected to think Liv is 100% right, for a change, and the writers even had a beloved character like Fin call her out. They had an idealistic and sincere character like Carisi call out a more pragmatic and underhanded character like Barba. That was actually good writing (what???). Letting the audience draw its own conclusions. I wish the writers hadn’t waited until the finale to start doing that.

Stray Thoughts

This season didn’t give us much on the Barisi front (or on any front), but it did give us this:


Peter Gallagher is so handsome. And so talented. He brings so much to all his scenes. How does he do it? And why can’t the rest of the SVU cast do it too, lol? No one came close to his nuanced performance, last night (from the regulars, I mean. The guest cast was mostly fantastic). And his lines weren’t even that great. Honestly, how does he do it? I love him.

I also love not Eddie Kirk Acevedo. Were they trying him out as a potential new squad member, pairing him up with Sonny, and having him participate in an interrogation with Amanda, or is that wishful thinking? And does it even matter, now that we’ll get a new showrunner? I mean, they probably needed guest stars to fill the airtime, because the finale was 2 hours long and the show only has like 3 characters left :D

Fin still has a detective’s badge, right? Did I blink and miss him actually making Sergeant? And did I also miss a reference to his twitter-grandson?

Rollins, after shoving and practically headbutting that woman in front of her small son: “Honey it’s okay, your mommy’s fine! I’m just about to punch her in the face, but it’s all good! Go play with your Xbox!”

I liked Yusef’s reactions to Sonny’s naive remarks about America. “I get it.” “No you don’t.” Damn straight.

Did Sonny kick down that door literally ON that woman’s face? The hell? She was standing right behind the door as he kicked it! Sonny, sweetie, you’re no Derek Morgan. Leave the door-kicking to the experts.

Barba keeps getting swerved by Liv, lmao.

I won’t get into the politics of it all. I don’t have the time or the inclination. I’ll just say the script was way too heavy-handed. I mean:

random guy, for no reason whatsoever: “What is happening in this country? This is America, right?”

Sonny (and me): “…yeah okay thank you we’ll call you if we need anything else bye”

I am GLAD that’s over.


Angela Montenegro Appreciation Week; Day 04 → OTP

“I’m nuts about Angela. Over the moon, stupid in love with her.”

ceredwiniswinning  asked:

Alden I love you and all those anons do too. Come here, have a mocha and a muffin, ignore the shitters. Also I'm sorry I haven't talked much I've been distracted but I luvu

I love you too Ceri. ; 3;

No “shitters” here, but I’ll gladly take the muffin+mocha (I just got out from a 5am shift and boy do I love the morning but my head hates it orz).

Our banter is fantastic! Don’t ever be sorry for feeling as if you need to meet a quota of sorts. I know we’re buddies. <3

Thank you for the ask ! 


anonymous asked:

Ruby the holidays are always a rough time because of my mental illness. Do u have any tips for getting through the season??

Ah I really really struggle with it too, December is often a total car crash for me. I wrote a post about this last year on my other blog right before christmas, [please look out for trigger warnings at the top of the post] but it can apply to holidays in general and those unrealistic expectations that you should be covering yourself in tinsel and pissing happiness and cheer all winter.

You are not alone

lots of love xo

anonymous asked:

Can you explain the shit charts some more? idk why but now I'm curious about the other members (plus a shit chart sounds very useful despite not sounding very cute)

Ok anon, I sure can explain more about the shit chart.  Basically what you shit (and how you shit it) can point to whether you have a well balanced diet, whether you are healthy, etc.  We all know that not only is Jin probably the only one of these boys who knew what a “vegetable” was before getting in to the group, but that he’s probably the one most concerned with the general health of the group on the daily basis.  Hence, the shit charts.  He’s got one hanging in the bathroom very much like this one below and he asks members about how their “doodoo is doing” all the time.  

He’s got a bowlful of problems too.  Tsk.  

* Yoongi - Eats nothing but Ramen / drinks nothing but black coffee for days on end so gets the Fire Shits like nobody’s business.  Jin is constantly on him about eating more fiber, sneaks metamucil into his ramen when desperate.  Also (and Yoongi would kill him for saying this) bought special creme for Yoongi’s asshole for when it gets super irritated (which is often).  VERY FARTY. 

* Namjoon - Pebble blasting the studio toilet every day.  Is regular but each shit he takes sounds like he’s just throwing marbles into the toilet.  Once forgot to flush and tae came out of the bathroom talking about “Joonie’s chocolate eggs”.  Also has a shitty diet (much the same as yoongi’s) just is less sensitive in the gut.  Also sometimes gets so distracted he forgets to shit.  MEDIUM FARTY. 

 * JIn - if there was a pooping Prince of BTS it would be Jin.  So regular you can set your watch by him, in and out of the bathroom in 5 minutes TOPS.  Is so attuned to his body can tell if he’s had too much or too little of a certain vitamin by how his shit smells, also is always very pleased because has very aesthetic looking shits - basically picture perfect shitter that’s Jin.  VERY FARTY (kale farts). 

* Hope - Also in fairly good shape as far as shitting, fairly regular - no major problems with pooping.  The only problem everybody ELSE has with Hope’s shits is that they REEK SO BAD and also the fact that he takes HUGE shits - so big they have been known to clog the toilet (between Hope and Jin there’s a contest for the biggest shit and so far Hope is winning much to JIn’s chagrin). Hope is super proud of every shit he takes and often photographs them to brag about them.  LOW FARTY

* Jimin - Again, Jimin’s doing pretty good.  Follow’s a fairly well balanced diet, doesn’t eat too badly, so he’s part of the regular wagon.  When Jimin gets sick though, his regularity is one of the first things to go - also if he gets too stressed either gets the shits or gets all plugged up and you never know which one it’s gonna be until it happens.  Shits really cute turds - little and rolypoly.  Could fit 5 of Jimin’s little poops into one of Hope’s.  LOW FARTY

* Tae - Iron constitution on this kid, it’s like he doesn’t notice he should be shitting his brains out.  Every once in a while (generally when he’s eaten Burger King and nothing but Burger King too many days in a row) he gets what the group calls the “hamburger shits” which means like 10 minutes of intense shitting and then he’s fine again.  MEDIUM FARTY

* Kookie - The true problem for Jin in his quest to keep BTS regular is Kookie.  Kookie suffers from constipation pretty much constantly - has for years (even though it’s starting to get a little bit better now…).  Every single day Jin asks Kookie if he’s gone, and if the answer is No, Jin gets the prunes out, and sets about harassing Kookie until he eats them.  He also has a special tea when shit gets really rough (pardon the pun).  The other kids (*cough* tae and Jimin *cough*) sometimes make fun of Kookie, but if Jin hears them they get the SLIPPER SO HARD.   Yoongi doesn’t even want to think about how many times he’s been lulled to sleep by Jin fretting about Kookie’s rampant constipation.  LOW FARTY (always squeakers)

SO, there you go anon, Jin’s shit chart shitting headcanons for everybody in BTS. With help from the distinguished @johannbuddenbrooks who thinks this is as funny as I do < 3

‘COME ON GUYS EVERYBODY POOPS’ - Jin (probably).  

lyzzybelle  asked:

Can you add a Private Investigator tag and do you have any recommendations for Sterek PI fics?

i sure can!! (these are all pi!stiles btw)

Caution, contents may be hot by WeirdV (5/5 | 11,916 | G)

Derek has been working at the coffee shop since his parents left it to him in their will. Laura wasn’t much for taking over the business, but she spends a lot of time there, helping out with stock and supplies. Stiles is a regular, for almost three months, when he suddenly starts going to the coffee shop across the street. He’s not the first costumer to switch loyalties, but it stings Derek just a little bit more.

Stiles Stilinki always wanted to go into law enforcement, but he’s not patient enough to climb the ladder to detective, and his methods aren’t always – let’s say on the right side of the law. So he does what he deems a perfect solution for someone without the correct social skills or patience to make promotion, he becomes a Private Investigator. When he gets a job to investigate a shady employee at the coffee shop across the street from his regular place, he suddenly finds himself missing a decent cup of coffee. He’s been going to the new place for almost a week now, and they still don’t know his order, his regular barista had it down the next day. and – of course – it is interfering with the case he’s personally involved with, his mother’s murder.

In Between the Lines (There’s a Lot of Obscurity) by PsychicPineapple (1/1 | 6,103 | G)

Stiles Stilinksi: private investigator (kind of), perpetual thorn in Detective Derek Hale’s side (definitely), and world class bull-shitter. Also, he solves murders.

‘Oh, you know,’ Stiles leant casually against the wall, ‘I was in the neighbourhood so I just thought I’d stop by and solve a case for you.’

One floor at a time by WeirdV (1/1 | 2,591 | NR)

Elevator AU
Stiles works on the 17th floor, Derek on the 20th.
Stiles always takes the stairs, it’s a thing, don’t judge.
But on a sunny Monday morning he decided to take the elevator. Well, for a floor, maybe. Babysteps.

Or, the one where Stiles tries to get over his fear of elevators to talk to that totally cute guy that also starts at 7.30 in the morning.

The Dog Days Are Over by surrenderdammit (1/1 | 1,257 | PG13)

The little shit had a tendency to crash his investigations more often than not. He’s still not sure if this is because of the unholy joy the bloodsucker takes in annoying the ever living hell out of Derek, or if Derek is simply handed the kind of cases Stilinski takes interest in.

Either way, fuck his life, seriously.


Please and thank you

Yeeei, I finnally did it.

I’ve had this AU long time ago and I FINALLY can show it! Yei!

So, basically this is an animal AU where Nico is the principal bc he’s my sweet baby and I wanted him to be the principal. I called “Nico-cat and the heroes of the purr” it’skindofcuteisn’tit?

Maybe you can ask yourself either why Percy isn’t a fish?, Why Annabeth isn’t a Owl? Or why they aren’t they god parent’s animal I’ll explain it in a simple way: Because the can’t interact if it’s in that way

example: If Percy were a… fish he couldn’t interact with the others bc he would be into a fishbowl and that’s kind of sad ( ono).

And basically each character and animal have an explanation but I’m too lazy to explain it right now, also I have a lot of homework

Sorry about my bad English ofhrewoghi I can’t be helped (btw @ikari_yuuji it’s my twitter account lol

also sorry about my shaking hand, I just started into digital ah You should also thank Coffeemakerway this is not shitter (?) Thanks babe <3

Closed ||


Red stood outside the small dingy bar at the edge of the forest. Far enough away from home that no one would recogniser, but close enough to know exactly who was in there.

She took a breath, several cases of alcohol swirling around into her nostrils. “Oh the perks of being a wolf,” she mumbled, not that anyone would hear, the bar was bursting at it seems with life. Why she chose to come here, she would never know. Maybe a distraction from past events she wanted to ignore? To indulge herself in the midst of alcohol to forget all her morals. Time would tell.

After her small argument with herself, debating on whether to go in this place or not, she took a few steps forward and pulled open the door, more laughter filling her ears. A few people at the door turned to look at her, giving her unnerving smiles as she walked past. She had come here hoping to find one thing, smiling a little brighter when she heard the familiar laugh to her left.

shuffling through the drunk men and strumpets stroking her hair, he was finally visible to her. Struggling a little further, she had hoped he would notice her before she called his name.

a reminder that you and your bff may call each other names all the time and play around/tease/playfully mock the other one but make sure you’re not doing that every time you speak to each other. It can start to feel like you dont actually care about the other and the teasing can start to gradually be taken with salt as the charm of it begins to wear off. Nothing ruins a friendship faster than one gradually feeling like they can’t speak seriously to the other or starts feeling like the pretend-insults has turned into one sided abuse they just put up with

Signs According To My Mom

ARIES: My first thought is “dad”. So, I think authoritarian, bossy, yet charming moments. Love my dad.

TAURUS: Bull-shitters. Can I say that!? Okay, fine. Storytellers. Also, workhorses.

GEMINI: Remember the squirrel in Hoodwinked? Yeah. That.

CANCER: I picture a large spectrum of emotions on the back of a crab that is pinching the shit out of you and not letting go.

LEO: The true alpha. Christina Grey doesn’t have anything on them. Mmm, Thor (from Avengers) comes to mind.


LIBRA: Love loving love

SCORPIO: They’re sexy and they know it.

SAGITTARIUS: Freedom lovers

CAPRICORN: Love! Love! Love! My favorite!

AQUARIUS: Can hold a grudge for 40 years

PISCES: My mom taught me if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. My polar opposite. ‘Nuff said.