but all these moments are so hard to color ; ;

Guys, if I dectivate my blogs any time soon please don’t panic, everything would be alright. I am just in a very unstable mental state at the moment and I hate everything I’ve created so far. Nor I really believe anymore that I will ever get love and recognition I dream of. It’s just hard to keep up extending any efforts and feeling like they worth nothing at all, and I feel like giving up is better than trying for years. I don’t even think that I am a good artist, my drawings must be boring and lacking color theory - and I failed every single time I tried to study it. I just can’t anymore, maybe I have nothing good to do in the internet or drawing field whatsoever, and this disgust grown SUPER strong these days. I just can’t bear my own lack of talent, as well as feeling like I just… will never be loved enough. Every time I swallow my anxiety and force myself to finish drawings even tho I know ahead of time they won’t be liked very much, heck, they won’t even be good. I am trying really hard but I cannot stay strong for 100% of the time. I am well aware that after ‘hard’ period passes people regret deleting their blogs, so I will try to stay, but IF I give up - just don’t worry okay?

Aries: Do not mourn over things that never did you any good. Do not look at those moments with rose colored nostalgia. They will always lead you astray. 

Taurus: Keep your head up. The critics will come hard and fast. Tell them to fuck off with middle fingers up. You are so much better then this fucking town.

Gemini: The ghosts can’t hurt you anymore. Even as they reach out from the past. You’ve got the salt. You’ve got the gun now. You are in charge, and they should be scared. Not you. Not anymore.

Cancer: Stop going back to burned bridges. Trying to make something out of the ashes. Remind yourself you set the flames for a god damn reason. Mourn the loss, but don’t keep going back to the scene of the crime.

Leo:  You are not the chaos around you. Not the pain that the aftermath is causing. You are so much more then the bad things you think about yourself. Learn to make the eye of the storm your home.

Virgo: Sometimes you need to let go of the past and all of the memories it holds. It’s going to hurt in a way you couldn’t imagine, but you have to clean out the infection to get better. You will get better.

Libra: Stop following people down rabbit holes. If you were meant to be 6 feet under you would be. Do not rush time and do not test fate. You can not try to take their place.

Scorpio:   Do not apologize for doing what you had to do. For having a spine. For learning to pick up a knife and defend yourself. You do not owe them  an explanation. You do not owe them an apology. You do not owe them anything.

Sagittarius: Stop trying to destroy your beauty, just because you can not see it. It doesn’t matter how much alcohol. How many pills. How many scars you give yourself. You are still as bright as the sun. Just as beautiful as the moon.

Capricorn:  Hold them to the standards you expect of yourself. If they can not meet them, then they don’t deserve a seat at the table with you. Do not dim your light or slow down to make them comfortable. It’s not worth it.

Aquarius:  It’s okay to indulge. Okay to go numb every once in awhile. You do not have to sit there and make yourself suffer night after night, just to be strong. It is okay to break. It is okay to be weak. It is okay to need a moment of true peace.

Pisces: If you keep faking a smile long enough, you’ll eventually start to believe it to. Just try and pretend at being happy now, so that you can learn to be really happy when the time comes.

—  This Weeks Zodiac

One Piece ワンピース : The Ōka Shichibukai

“The reason the Grand Line is called the ‘Pirates’ Graveyard’, is because of the Three Great Powers that rule over it. One of them, is the Ōka Shichibukai. They’re seven Pirate Warlords that are officially authorized by the World Government. The Shichibukai inhabit wild regions of the seas and as long as they give a cut of their loot obtained from marauding & pillaging, the World Government sanctions their actions. Other pirates may look down on them and call them ‘Government Dogs’, but they’re among the strongest the Grand Line has to offer!!” 

Thus ends my journey with the Shichibukai. It was fun & arduous while it lasted and I had a hell of a great time re-reading some of the most epic and sad moments in One Piece. I’ve compiled all the gifs into a short video in the order of the manga’s storyline, so enjoy this final treat me buckos! Oda has given us so many fantastic characters & memories it’s hard to wait a week for each chapter but it is always worth the wait. I can’t wait to see what else the sensei has in store for us!! 

☠  Hoist the Colors



Taylor : That’s always the coolest thing about hearing what Hayley writes is that she’s being honest. There’s so many love songs that say ‘hey man, everything’s perfect and beautiful and everything about you is awesome and this is all great’ but Hayley always writes for the people who can’t relate to that. I love this person but I am dark, this feels dark. I always love that because that’s real…

Damon Salvatore - It Was Always You

You’ve always felt something more than friendship towards Damon Salvatore, but you felt like he was always so busy pining after Elena that he wouldn’t even notice you. Yourself and Damon get the chance to spend the day together and it’s so much fun, but you weren’t expecting the day to take the turn that it did.

Damon x Fem!Reader

Warning: Mentions of alcohol

Keep reading

Flesh/Brett Talbot Smut

Originally posted by holyhalehottness

Most of these are taken from my Wattpad account! (Twtrash01)

Send me requests for the following Fandoms: Teenwolf, Vampire Diaries, Dolantwins, OUAT(Peter Pan, Robbie Kay, Supernatural, Suicide Squad, The 100. Basically I’ll write for any fandom. I’ll write non-smut as well. Be specific in what you want! *I DON’T OWN ANY GIFS*

Request:  Could you do a Brett Talbot smut with the song Flesh by Simon Curtis? Please ❤

Keep reading


❛ No matter where I go and what I do, it won’t change a thing. ❜
❛ A floating city… pretty unsettling scenery. ❜
❛ If everything’s a dream, don’t wake me. ❜
❛ I’ve… been thinking, too… about the universe… people… the planet… ❜
❛ It’s gonna counterattack with its laser! ❜
❛ Don’t fight here! You’ll ruin the flowers! ❜
❛ It’s good for absolutely nothing! ❜
❛ I want to know you. The real you. ❜
❛ I think they believe I have what it takes to be in SOLDIER! ❜
❛ Let’s see how compatible _____ and I are! ❜
❛ I won’t let you do it! The future is not only yours! ❜
❛ It’s too dangerous, I can’t get you involved. ❜
❛ I’ll be going now. I’ll come back when it’s all over. ❜
❛ A promise is a promise. ❜
❛ That don’t sound right! ❜
❛ Stop actin’ like a damn kid. ❜
❛ Is it right to go on? ❜
❛ They’re all gone. ❜
❛ Right now, I don’t really know. ❜
❛ Will they … will they ever forgive me? ❜
❛ The hell you so calm about? ❜
❛ But, damn man, that thing gives me the creeps… ❜
❛ We’ll jump from here!! ❜
❛ Well to me it looks like a golden shiny wire of hope. ❜
❛ Anyone who don’t wanna get their face bashed in better get outta the way!! ❜
❛ This whole thing’s stupid. Let’s keep goin’. ❜
❛ If I was alone, this wouldn’t be a thang, but I got a reputation to protect. ❜
❛ That some kinda disease? ❜
❛ I’ve been here since the beginning and I still don’t know what the hell’s goin’ on. ❜
❛ I’m going, going, going, gone! ❜
❛ I know you got problems… ❜
❛ But you gotta understand that there ain’t no gettin’ offa this train. ❜
❛ I’ll go upside your spikey blonde head and bring you back to normal! ❜
❛ Seein’ a place like this, makes you realize how awesome nature is. ❜
❛ If I did have to live here I’d change things around ‘n’ make it better. ❜
❛ What the hell am I sayin’!? ❜
❛ D-d-d-damn! My head hurts! ❜
❛ Words aren’t the only way to tell someone how you feel. ❜
❛ I made it this far, believing in the memories we shared. ❜
❛ This isn’t happening! It’s too cruel! ❜
❛ A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? ❜
❛ People have many things pent up inside of themselves. ❜
❛ This day will never come again, so let me have this moment. ❜
❛ So many things they can never forget. Strange, isn’t it? ❜
❛ It’s only a few more floors anyway! ❜
❛ I’ve got the wrong person. ❜
❛ You’re here… Everyone’s all together. ❜
❛ Together… we can do anything. ❜
❛ We’ve worked this hard already. ❜
❛ As long as I’m with you… ❜
❛ As long as you’re by my side… I won’t give up. ❜
❛ I won’t give up even if I’m scared. ❜
❛ I don’t like two-legged things. ❜
❛ It’s pretty hard standing on two feet. ❜
❛ Would you kindly hurry? The heat is drying my nose. ❜
❛ Right, I’ve got it! ❜
❛ Your lucky color is…blue? ❜
❛ I know I have a stuffed animal body, but I’ll work really hard! ❜

Left leg

(A/N): Still trying to get over this writer’s block you guys! So sorry for the shitty quality of my fanfics! (Also this one is hella long)

Summary: Bucky knew he had dealt damage in D.C. but he never thought he’d come face to face with that damage

Warnings: some angst, Bucky feels horrible, swearing

Tags: @mcuimxgine, @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x, @saradi1018, @holland-toms, @superwholockian309, @fly-f0rever, @capbuckthor, @livandlilah

Originally posted by rohgers

   Bucky knew he caused damage in D.C, that’s half the reason he couldn’t go back there. He knew he killed hundreds of innocent people and injured hundreds more, he knew he had fucked up lives in the worst kind of way and that was something he could barely stand to live with. He knew he destroyed the heart of America, he knew he had caused irreparable damage and that’s why he couldn’t face the facts. He couldn’t stand to go back to D.C only to find the hearts of so many people full of hate, even if he did deserve it. He couldn’t stand the thought of having to look at the damage he caused, or having to walk past the memorial site, he couldn’t stand to see all the weeping families at gravestones, holding flowers for the ones he had killed, he simply couldn’t do it. But somehow Bucky’s past always caught up to him, even if it wasn’t in the most conventional of ways. 

    He’d been out on a coffee run for all the Avengers at 7 in the morning, a time no one should even have been alive at but here he was, rubbing at his eyes as he made his way into Starbucks. Surprisingly there was one or two other people already up, most likely those who worked or were those crazy morning people (a type of person Bucky did not like whatsoever) and so Bucky had to wait in a line, begrudgingly at that. 

   “I’ll just take one black coffee, thank you,” The voice in front of him was chipper, much to his distaste. 

   “Can I get a name for that?” 

   “It’s (Y/N),” 

   “Okay, I’ll have that up for you in no time,” And with that the barista turned on her heel to go and make one boring, plain cup of coffee. This (Y/N) person turned on their heel, smacking right into Bucky’s chest with a small noise of surprise. 

   “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even see you there-” Their voice trembles off as they look up at Bucky, no doubt recognizing him from the many articles, tv shows, and interviews he had done in the last couple of years. 

   “Sorry,” Bucky supplied simply, giving the smaller person a tired smile. “I shouldn’t have been standing so close,” (Y/N) nods gulping slightly. 

   “It’s uh- It’s totally okay,” Their eyes seemed to be trained in on his face, looking up at him with a wide, fearful gaze. 

   “I promise I’m not as bad as the media makes me out to be,” Bucky provided with a soft chuckle, waiting for (Y/N)’s expression to soften just a bit but alas it did not, it still held that same, scared look to it as before. 

   “(Y/N), I have your coffee,” The barista waves a small cup, smiling at them softly. With an air of the utmost gratefulness (Y/N) accepted the coffee and paid before nearly rushing out the door, not even excusing their rather crude behavior and that’s when it catches Bucky’s eyes, just beneath the fabric of their sweatpants is a gleam of metal; the connecting joint of a prosthetic. 

   Bucky had ordered and taken the coffee’s back home to the tower, thoroughly confused by (Y/N). They seemed so perfectly happy one moment and the next they had lost their entire attitude, falling timid and feeble before Bucky. For gods sake it was just some random stranger he had met in a coffee shop, not someone he needed to be dwelling on but no matter how hard he tried to focus on something else other than (Y/N)’s petrified expression he simply could not. It was burned into his head- the look of sheer fear in their eyes, the way their face had drained of all color the minute they looked at him. With a displeased little growl Bucky gnawed on the lid of his coffee cup, staring at the floor intently, as though it had all the answers. 

   “What’s bothering you Barnes?” Sam asks as he walks into the communal kitchen, sweat dripping from his face as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. 


   “You’re a terrible damn liar Bucky, now what the hell is going on with you,” Bucky sighed as he chucked his cup away, folding his arms over his chest almost defensively. 

   “There was someone in the coffee shop today, they were super chipper until they turned and looked at me,” 

   “Well I’m sure your giant ass metal arm is sure to intimidate some people,” 

   “I know, I get it, but for some reason I just can’t get their face out of my head, the look of fear that appeared there as soon as they looked at me,” 

   “Maybe you remind them of someone? I’m sure there are a million logical reasons for this,” 

   “Yeah,” Bucky sighs as he bites his lip in thought. “I’m sure,” 

    Bucky didn’t sleep much that night, every time he closed his eyes he’d see that face, those eyes, that fear struck expression and surprisingly all sense of exhaustion would be wipe from his body. He tossed and turned all night, trying to sleep but eventually he found it was futile- it wasn’t going to work. With a grumble Bucky rose from his bed, stepping into the chilly air of his room to grab some clothes and his running shoes. If he wasn’t able to sleep why not work out brutally until he passed out instead? Bucky quickly got dressed, before throwing his hair up into a messy bun and running out of stark tower, into the still dark morning of New York. 

   The streets were already loud, people walking to and fro, taxis here and there, but Bucky loved it, it was such a stark contrast to his desolate life as the winter soldier, void of any life such as the bustle of New York. 

   Bucky smiled politely at an elderly woman as he made it to central park, already taking up a path to jog along. It was a little more quiet here, a little colder, but Bucky was fine with that too, he enjoyed the silent time he could run and enjoy the view- Bucky’s brows furrow as he rounds a corner, stopping when his eyes caught on a certain metal glinting in the dark of Central Park, the same glint that walked out of the coffee shop only a day prior. Perhaps if he just kept his distance, ran a safe distance away- or maybe he could change his direction of running to a whole other path? Bucky was just about to turn on his heel when the same glint shifted, along with the rest of the body attached to it. 

   “Are you stalking me now or something?” (Y/N) asks, huffing at a stray piece of sweaty hair. It had been obvious they’d been running, due to their leggings, tank top, and running shoes. A thin sheen of sweat covered most of the skin Bucky could see, almost shimmering against the dark of the park. 

   “N-No,” Bucky stuttered, feeling a bit nervous, even shy, “ I’m just running,” 

   “And you were in the coffee shop yesterday,” 

   “I was uh- I was getting drinks for my friends,” (Y/N) looks him over, their gaze still holding a bit of fear but the more Bucky talked the more that fear diminished. 

   “At 7 in the morning?”

   “They’re early birds unfortunately,” 

   “And what about you?” (Y/N) asks as they take a step towards him, their prosthetic making some clicking noises as they do. “Why are you up so early?”

   “Couldn’t sleep,” Bucky provided, shrugging a bit. “What about you?”

   “Running’s good for the leg,” (Y/N) looked him over, scrutinizing him with squinted eyes. “What’s your name?” Bucky looked at them strangely, his head cocked to the side and his brows furrowed once again. Based on their looks from yesterday he could have sworn they knew him, or at least knew of him, no one looked at him so fearfully without reasoning. 

   “I thought you already knew-” 

   “I know who you are, everyone knows who you are, I just wanna hear it coming from you,” Bucky smiled just a bit, it was small and barely there but it had happened. 

   “I’m Bucky Barnes, and you are?”

   “I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N). It’s nice to officially meet you Bucky,” (Y/N) glanced him over, taking in his appearance with a small smirk. “Since I think I trust you I was wondering if you’d like to go running with me, a makeup for our last little run-in,”  Bucky nodded, his smile growing a bit wider. 

  “I’d love to,” 

  “You’ll have to try to keep up, I don’t mess around Barnes,” His last name sounded fond on their tongue and it nearly made Bucky melt but before he could even dwell on it (Y/N) took off, booking it much faster than he would have imagined. With a loud exclamation of something not being fair Bucky took off after them, smiling a bit brighter than he had in a long time. 

   Bucky returned from the tower that day feeling more refreshed than he had in days, he had finally corrected his wrongs with (Y/N), he got a good run in, and he dared to think he was slowly on his way to making a new friend. With a giddy little smile Bucky grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, guzzling it down rather quickly. 

   “And what’s got you all excited this particular morning?” Nat asks as she meanders into the kitchen, already seeking out her pre training cup of tea. 

   "Who said I was excited?“ 

   "The stupid smile on your face says so. Who is it? Is it a girl? A guy?” Bucky blushed as he looked down at his water, his thumb tracing along the plastic cap. “Nat-”

    “Oh my god, it is someone, tell me all about them, I wanna know,” Bucky sighs as Nat all but drags him to the kitchen table, all but forcing him into conversing. 

    “Nat, I literally met them yesterday, we went on a run today, nothing’s happened," 

    "But you want something to happen, don’t you?" 

    "Nat, I’ve known them for a day, if that, I don’t know anything about them other than their name and number and-" 

    "They gave you their number?” Nat looks at him as she leans forward over the table, her hands clasped together in an orderly fashion.


    “Bucky, they’re totally into you! You should take them out!”

    “Nat, a day, I’ve known them for a day, plus I don’t think they like me all too much," 

    "And why not Mr. Chiseled jaw, high cheekbones and a personality of gold?" 

   "The first day we met they kinda gave me this weird look- weird is the wrong word- more like terrified,”

    “But how we’re they today?”

   "Better, I suppose,“ 

    "See? You two are getting somewhere, that’s great!” Bucky groaned, as he buries his face in his hands, his skin nearly beet red. 

   "It’s not that big of a deal Nat,“ 

    "This is one of your first encounters with someone other than an avenger in 70 years so excuse me if I seem excited Barnes,”

    “That’s it, I’m going to train,” Bucky got up with an aggravated sigh, taking another bottle with him just in case. Nat smirked as the brunette stalked away, all his tension following along with him. She’d figure out who this person was and she’d get them together with Bucky even if it was the last thing she did.

    “You’re late Barnes!” (Y/N) called out as they stretched out their legs- or leg to be exact. 

   "Sorry,“ Bucky panted in the cold air of New York, damn near freezing his ass off in the temperature. "I woke up late,” (Y/N) looked up from their deep leg stretch, Eyeing Bucky curiously.

    “You okay?”

    “Yeah,” Bucky smiled a bit, despite the cold settling into his bones. “I’m just a bit cold,” (Y/N) smiles as they stand up, stretching their arms a bit.

    “Tell you what, I’ll buy you some coffee afterwards, sound good?” Bucky nodded, his chattering teeth making his jaw click loudly. (Y/N) smiled as they settled down, their legs and arms relaxed for the time being. “Try not to slip on any ice Barnes,” (Y/N) warned before taking off, leaving Bucky behind to shiver. With a soft quirk of his lips Bucky chased after, hoping the desperate run would warm up his nearly frozen fingertips. 

    It had been nearly 3 weeks since his first encounter with (Y/N) at that coffee shop and although the two hadn’t progressed past the running buddies stage of their friendship Bucky knew that somehow they’d advance in their “friendship”. Perhaps all they needed was a bit of coffee and some time to talk…

    (Y/N) sipped calmly at their drink, making content little slurps as they happily drank the liquid and Bucky thought it was absolutely adorable. He too sipped at his drink although he couldn’t enjoy it to it’s fullest when (Y/N) sat before him, drinking their own coffee so- so- so cutely. 

    “So what does Bucky Barnes do when he isn’t training or going on missions with the famous Avengers?” (Y/N) asks as they set their cup down, much to Bucky’s displeasure. 

    “Well Bucky Barnes just so happens to really like science and art so he spends a lot of his time going to conventions and museums,” (Y/N) smiles, flushing a bit at his words.

    “So you’re kinda a geek?” Bucky chuckles as he allows the warmth of his coffee to seep into his bones, warming his chilled fingers. 

   "Yeah, I guess you could say that. But what about you? Hm? What does (Y/N) like to do in their spare time?“ (Y/N) smiles gently as they take another sip of their drink before setting it down again.

    ”(Y/N) likes to read in their spare time, writing is pretty nice too but watching classic old movies is their favorite,“ Bucky smiles at this; he knew a bit about classic movies, he’d grown up watching the classics. 

    "You should stop by the tower sometime, I’m sure Stark has every movie in existence," 

    “I also found this cool old theater on Main Street, they show old movies all the time, we should go there some time,” (Y/N) looks at Bucky as they quietly drink their coffee, their slurping noises a bit quieter than before. “There’s also a record store full of old albums, I think you’d really like it,” Bucky smiles as he leans backwards, bringing his steaming cup to his lips. 

   "That sounds really nice, I don’t have much to do with my life so most if the time I’m free,“ 

   “Really? The all star Avenger doesn’t do much with his life?” Bucky chuckles, his cheeks warming just a bit. 

   “When the avenger isn’t training or on missions he doesn’t do much with his life, sound better?” (Y/N) hums as they nod, smirking just a bit. 

   “Well, when is this particular Avenger free next?”

   “All this week actually,” 

   “Okay, how about Wednesday we can check out that record store, maybe catch a movie later on?” Bucky nods and smile, a different kind of warmth seeping in through his bones, a pleasant, soul encasing kind of warmth and goddammit Bucky loved it. 

   “I’d be glad to,” 

    Bucky couldn’t help eyeing (Y/N) with every step they took. They were checking out a number of records, flipping through each one with a fond smile upon their face. It was evident that they had put some effort into their look based on the way their outfit and hair looked which meant that they had put effort in for Bucky and damn did they look gorgeous. 

   “Are you going to look at the records or are you just going to keep eyeing me?” (Y/N) doesn’t even look away from their browsing as they smirk, their thumbs flipping each record carefully. 

   “You’re not even looking at me, how do you know-” (Y/N) turns to look at Bucky, smirking even more.

   “I’m looking at you and you’re looking at me and you have been for the last 5 minutes, I even pointed out the swing records to you and you haven’t even touched them,” Bucky blushed, his chilled cheeks dusting just a bit. The two had walked here together in the freezing air of New York and not even the peppermint flavored drink in his hands could warm him up but for some reason looking at (Y/N)’s smile did. 

   “Sorry,” Bucky murmurs as he looks to the ground, smiling sheepishly at the stained concrete. “You just look really pretty is all,” 

   “I could say the same to you Barnes, you look pretty damn good without the sweatpants,” Bucky chuckled a bit, his dust only growing redder by the second. “Now look at your records you dork, the movie starts in half an hour,” 

    Bucky’s date with (Y/N) had gone amazingly. He bought a few records and when they were done they went to the old theater and watched countless silent movies. Bucky was pretty sure it was illegal to hop from movie to movie but with (Y/N) by his side he didn’t seem to have a care in the world. In fact, the movie hopped until midnight, well past the time their first movie ended. 

   “Isn’t it illegal to do that?” Bucky had asked on the way back as he stuffed his face with a handful of leftover popcorn. 

   “Only if you get caught,” (Y/N) sent a little wink Bucky’s way and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t melt his heart a bit. “I wouldn’t recommend eating that entire bin Barnes,” (Y/N) eyes the half eaten carton of popcorn with an air of amusement. 

   “How come?” Bucky asks as he deliberately shoves more popcorn in his face, just to spite (Y/N). 

   “You’re going to be sluggish in a few hours, wouldn’t want me to beat your time in laps today, hm?” 

   “Oh my god, there is no way we’re running today, it’s nearly one and-” 

   “And you have to be up in four and a half hours to race my ass around Central Park, so put the popcorn down Barnes,” Bucky looked at (Y/N) in shock but there was no denying the small smile on his face, a smile that no one had seen in years. 

   “You little shit,” Bucky muttered as he threw the carton away, listening to it hit the bottom of the trash can noisily. (Y/N) hums smugly as they march on their merry way, only stopping when Bucky lagged behind a bit. 

   “You comin’ or what?” (Y/N) smiles at the soldier as he takes a bit to walk up to them, smiling at them just a bit. 

   “You really do look beautiful,” Bucky whispered as he looked at (Y/N), the way their eyes shined under the lights of New York, or the way their smile was best light in spite of all the dazzling billboards, or perhaps the way their hair was a mess beneath their beanie but it still looked amazing anyways. And that’s when Bucky noticed their blush, it was very slight and so light he could barely see it but it was there, he had finally gotten (Y/N) to blush. 

   “You’re such a sap,” 

   “I do come from a time where that was popular,” Bucky chuckles as they begin walking again, back towards central park, where they had originally met up. “Are you gonna let me walk you home or are you just gonna demand I stay here while you waltz away?” (Y/N) smirks as they stop in the middle of the park, looking at the somewhat still city. 

   “I think I’m just gonna waltz away for now,” (Y/N) smiles at Bucky’s expression, a small chuckle falling from their lips as they do. “Maybe I’ll let you walk me back on the next date, hmm?” Bucky nods, stuffing his nearly purple hands into his pockets. 

   “I’d like that,” 

   “ ‘Course you would, you sap,” (Y/N) chuckles as they begin to walk away, stopping a few feet just ahead of Bucky however. “Don’t forget, four and a half hours,” Bucky laughs, rolling his eyes playfully. 

   “You better be buying coffee afterwards,” 

   “You know it Barnes,” And with that (Y/N) walked off, a little spring in their step due to their prosthetic. Bucky watched them for a bit, until he could barely see their dark beanie in the even darker light and then he turned on his heel with a smile, slowly making his way back to the warmth of Stark Tower. 

   “Up and at Barnes!” (Y/N) yells as the supersoldier trudges to their side, more than exhausted. 

   “How are you already so fucking happy?” Bucky mumbles as he rubs at his eyes, yawning softly as he does. 

   “I don’t need a lot of sleep unlike you Princess Aurora,” Bucky smiles just a bit, despite the exhaustion settling into his skin and bones. “I’ll buy you two coffee’s if you can catch up to me, sound good?”

   “No, no that does not sound good-” But before Bucky could interject furhter (Y/N) had already taken off, nearly flying down the sidewalk as they booked it. With a loud groan Bucky followed after them, slowly and tiredly but at least he was running. 

   “Come on Barnes!” (Y/N) shouted over their shoulder. “Hurry up! I’m the one missing a leg and I’m still running faster than you!” Bucky huffs at a piece of his hair in annoyance, the damn strand smacking against his forehead with each spring of his step. “You and that damn hair!” Bucky focused on (Y/N) to find them walking backwards, looking at Bucky with a satisfied little smirk. “I ought to chop that mane off for you,” 

   “Like I trust you with scissors near my head,” Bucky called back as huffed at the piece again, just barely managing to get to sway to the right. 

   “Oh my god Bucky, my dead grandmother runs faster than you,” Bucky growls a bit, looking back to (Y/N) with a sort of menacing glare. 

   “Oh, did I offend you?” (Y/N)’s smirk only grows with each passing word. “Well in that case- hurry your old ass up, I could run faster than you with no legs at all!” 

   “You want me to run?”

   “Yeah, that’s kinda the point here,” (Y/N) smiles nonchalantly but said smile immediately falls when the supersoldier books it towards them, running faster than he’d ever run in his life. (Y/N) squeals in surprise as they too take off rushing down the pavement in an attempt to get away from the rather menacing looking man but it was too late- Bucky snatched them up by the waist before they could even contemplate running. (Y/N) laughs and flails in Bucky’s embrace, trying to fight the man off but he was having none of that, he squeezed their waist a bit as he nuzzled an already damp forehead against their own neck (It wasn’t doing stretches with Nat, especially when he had only gotten four and a half hours of sleep). “Bucky no! that tickles!” (Y/N) screeched when the supersoldier nuzzled his scruffy face into their neck, the short whiskers tickling them more than a bit. “Put me down you fiend!” (Y/N) laughs as Bucky holds them tighter, making it impossible for escape but luckily Bucky was an understanding guy and he dropped (Y/N), immediately taking off down the path. 

   “Who’s the slow one now?” Bucky shouted over his shoulder as he ran as hard as his legs would take him. 

  “You cheater!” (Y/N) yells as they laugh from a distance, double over as they attempt to catch their breath from the brief moment of tickling. Bucky smirked as he ran around the park, only stopping once his lungs were burning and he’d most likely finished any record time of his or (Y/N)’s. With a heavy sigh Bucky dropped onto a bench, placing his cool metal hand against his burning forehead. 

    Bucky had to have been sitting there for ten minutes by the time (Y/N) came back, panting and sweating just as much as he was. 

   “You- You loser,’ They manage between gasps for air. 

   “I actually think I’m the winner,” 

   “I- hate- you,” (Y/N) pants yet again, a small smile rising to their flushed features. 

   “Would a few cups of coffee remedy that hate?” (Y/N) looks at him skeptically before nodding their head, gulping once again. “Do you need me to carry you to the store?” Bucky asks as he stands up, already feeling better after his ten minute break. 

  “Haha, you’re very funny,” 

  “No, I’m being serious, do you need me to carry you there? You aren’t looking to great,” Bucky notes the heavy rise and fall of their chest, the way their sweat dribbled down their face at an almost alarming pace. 

   “I’m fine,” (Y/N) struggles to breath, “I just haven’t ran that hard in years,” 

   “Why?” Bucky asks as he dares to snake one arm around their waist, the other grappling their arm to hook around his neck. (Y/N) didn’t object, something Bucky was glad for; it wouldn’t have been easy to carry them if they were struggling against his grasp and given how stubborn they were he wouldn’t be surprised if they did do something like that. 

   “I lost my leg 3 years back, recovery wasn’t exactly the easiest for me,” Bucky listens intently as he marches them towards the shop, only a few blocks away from the park. 

   “I understand,” Bucky wiggles his metal fingers against (Y/N)’s side. “Recovery wasn’t easy for me either,” 

   “How’d you- how’d you lose your arm? If you don’t mind me asking,” (Y/N) leans on Bucky a bit, their body using his own as a means of support. 

   “I lost it back during the war,” Bucky supplies, not wishing to go into too much detail about his horrible experience. “What about you?” 

   “My leg was crushed under a metal beam, immediately sliced it clean off,” 

   “Did it hurt?”

   “More than anything,” Bucky bites his lip, only imagining the pain (Y/N) had gone through. Bucky had been knocked out cold when he lost his arm but (Y/N)- (Y/N) had not; they were alive and conscious through it all. “The therapy is what killed me though, I thought I was going to die trying to get my new leg to start working,” Bucky looks at their leg, at the less than par piece of metal and plastic, a piece of junk compared to some of the prosthetics today. 

   “I could have Tony Stark fit you for a new leg,” Bucky murmurs quietly. “If you’d like one, maybe one that moves a little better-” 

   “I wouldn’t want to burden any of you guys like that-” 

   “Nope!” Bucky chirps as he turns them a bit, directing them no longer towards the coffee shop but rather the tall tower that belonged to Tony. “He’d love to work on a new leg for you-” 

   “Bucky, the coffee shop is the other way-” 

   “Clint can make excellent coffee,” 

   “Bucky-” But Bucky wasn’t listening anymore, he was too busy directing (Y/N) towards the tower without it looking like he was abducting them which was a struggle given that they were now trying to break away from him. 

  “Plus Nat can make really good food, it’s gonna be great, I promise,” And with that Bucky pulled (Y/N) into the tower, ignoring the weird looks from all the passerby’s on the street as they surveyed the large man hauling the smaller person into the extravagant tower. 

   “How long have you had this leg?” Tony asks as he surveys the prosthetic, completely ignoring (Y/N)’s rather awkward facial expression. It was evident that they were uncomfortable without their leg, especially in front of someone they didn’t know, and especially in front of one of the most famous people in the world. 

   “3 years,” 

   “3 years and you still have this piece of junk?” (Y/N) winces a bit, Tony’s tone suddenly taking them off guard. “You need an upgrade right away, I could get you one that locks into place, maybe one that attaches to the leg itself, maybe i could design you one like Bucky’s?” Tony gestures to Bucky’s arm, as though (Y/N) had never seen it. 

   “How long would that take?” (Y/N) asks, gnawing on their lip in thought. 

   “Maybe a week or so, not very long, although we would have to wire the leg to your thigh…you’d probably have a really nasty scar for the rest of your life,” 

  “Like me,” Bucky smiles at them gently, hoping his playful words would calm them down just a bit. 

   “Would it hurt?”

   “Not at all, we’ve found much more humane ways of surgery since Buck’s time,” Tony smiles at them, “It would be done in an hour tops,” 

   “I could be there when you woke up, if you’d like me to,” Bucky adds in, hoping his offer would entice (Y/N) to make a choice. 

   “I’d- I’d be okay with that,” (Y/N) finally smiles, an unsure, shaky thing but it was there and that’s all that mattered. 

   “Good!” Tony claps his hands, visibly excited by the news. “We can start on casting your leg right now!” Bucky and (Y/N) both smile at Tony’s excitement as he scurries about the lab, collecting his needed materials. 

   “I can help you with therapy too,” Bucky adds as he slides up beside (Y/N), standing to them closer than he had been before. “That way it’s not as unpleasant as before,” 

   “I’d really like that,” (Y/N) smiles up at Bucky as Tony grabs some drill of some sort. “But you still owe me a few cups of coffee,” Bucky laughs, nodding his head in defeat. 

   “Fine, I’ll buy you your stupid coffee,”

   “You’re the best Barnes,” (Y/N) presses a gentle kiss to the man’s cheek, sending his heart spiraling out of control, spreading a huge blush over his cheeks, and melting his heart on the spot. God- (Y/N) was going to be the death of him and oh how right he had been.  

   It was Tony’s third day of casting and he was starting to get a pretty good shape of (Y/N)’s natural leg, or at least what it once used to be. Working countless hours to create a fully functioning robotic leg wasn’t the most fun thing to do so Tony took up conversing with (Y/N), asking them little question here and there, getting a feel for them. Occasionally Bucky would join in but most of the time he sat beside (Y/N), holding their hand and smiling at them as they talked with Tony. Bucky didn’t know how it had started but suddenly one day he looked down to find (Y/N)’s fingers intertwined with his own, how long they’d been there he didn’t know that either but somehow throughout their little appointment with Tony the two would end up holding each others hand (most adorably as well). 

   “So, how’d you lose the leg?” Tony asks casually as he measures their knee and calf of their good leg, looking for proportions for the robotic leg. 

   “It was crushed by a metal beam,” 

   “Metal beam you say?”

   “I was in D.C. the day those planes came down, or whatever the hell you want to call them, well they hit the ground and unfortunately I was pinned beneath one, cut my leg clean off-” (Y/N) goes on to tell their story more but Bucky wasn’t listening, his ears had stopped working after the word D.C. 

   Bucky now knew why (Y/N) had looked so scared the day he first met them, he was the one to take away their leg, he was the reason they were sitting here now, having a robotic leg fitted for them. 

   “Bucky?” Tony asks softly, placing a gloved hand on the soldier’s knee. “Are you good?” Tony’s eyes held concern for his friend given he knew all about D.C, everyone did in fact, the records were out there for anyone to see and you can bet your bottom dollar Tony was the first one to get his hands on all of shields secrets. 

   “In- In D.C?” Bucky’s voice quivers a bit, his raw emotion starting to take over.

   “Yeah…” (Y/N) eyes him strangely, their hold on his hand tightening just a bit. “Remember those terrorist attacks three years ago?” They weren’t terrorists, it had been Bucky, Bucky was the terrorist. 

   “The plane crushed you?”

   “Just some shrapnel from one of the ships…” 

   “Oh my god,” Bucky sighs shakily as tears blur at his vision. 

   He had always tried to avoid D.C, he didn’t want to think about it or what he had done but now there was a piece of what he did sitting right beside him, holding his hand tightly. 

   “Bucky, what’s wrong?” (Y/N) shifts in their seat, turning to face the quivering man. “What did I say?” 

  “Oh my god (Y/N), I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry-” But a sudden sob cut him off, closing his throat as the tears began to roll. “I’m so fucking sorry, oh my god,” 

   “Bucky, what’s wrong? What are you sorry for?” But he couldn’t respond unless it was to curse himself and apologize profusely. 

   “I’m so sorry, It wasn’t my fault, I promise it wasn’t-” (Y/N) suddenly lurches forward, holding Bucky tightly. God- he didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve to hold this human being, he didn’t deserve their kindness and concern. He deserved to burn in hell for what he did, he deserved to suffer pain because he took away their ability to walk, he was the one who caused them pain and misery for three years-” 

   “Bucky, it’s okay, it’s okay,” (Y/N)’s soothing voice whispered to him, washing over him like a wave of comfort. “Whatever you did it’s okay,” Bucky sobs a bit as he holds (Y/N) close, nearly pulling them onto his lap with how close they suddenly were. “Can you tell me what you did? Can you tell me why you’re sorry?” 

   “It’s my fault,” Bucky sniffles as he attempts to reign himself in, trying to hold back all of his hatred and shame. “It’s my fault you don’t have a leg,” 

   “Bucky, you’re not making any sense, what are you-” 

   “The ships, I helped take the ships down, if it hadn’t been for me you’d still have both your legs and- and-” Bucky stops once again, biting his lip so hard that he nearly took a chunk of skin out. 

   “Bucky, hey, look at me-” (Y/N) nudged Bucky’s face up with their hands, forcing him to look directly into their eyes. “Whatever you did, it’s not your fault, okay? I’m not mad at you or anything, don’t feel bad, okay?” Bucky sniffles again, too ashamed to look (Y/N) in the eyes for any longer. 

   “You don’t have a leg because of me-” 

   “I don’t care that I don’t have a leg,” (Y/N) mutters, “I don’t care that you think that you’re the reason I’m missing a leg too, and neither should you,” 

   “But (Y/N)-” 

   “No buts Bucky,” 

   “(Y/N), you could be out running and jumping, you could be swimming for fuck’s sake but because I’m a goddamn disgrace-” Bucky stops again, only this time it wasn’t of his own accord. There were no lumps in his throat or tears pooling down his cheeks to stop his words but rather was a pair of lips pressed against his own, silencing him softly yet firmly. 

   (Y/N)’s lips were soft, soft and sweet and nothing Bucky could have ever imagined and holy fuck did he love it. He could kiss their lips all day if they’d let him, he’d savor them, allow their taste to linger on his tongue for days but he didn’t deserve that, he didn’t deserve to indulge in someone so kind and great as (Y/N). 

   (Y/N) slowly pulls away, letting their lips slowly but surely part from Bucky’s. 

   “But instead I’m here with you, and that’s worth more than any of those things anyways,” (Y/N)’s lips brush against his own with each syllable, sending little shots of pleasure down his spine. “Plus, if you hadn’t taken my leg then who would buy me 3 cups of coffee, hm?” Bucky smiles, chuckling a bit. The sound was watery at best but it was sweet nonetheless. 

   “No one in their right state of mind,” 

   “You got that right,” (Y/N) smiles as they gently nuzzle Bucky’s nose. “Now no more tears, okay?” Bucky nods a bit, wiping away the last of his tears. “And no more of this shaming Bucky stuff, okay?” 

   “Okay,” Bucky whispers, scrunching up his nose as (Y/N) kisses it sweetly. 

   “And after this you’re gonna buy me my coffee, no negotiating there,” Bucky chuckles, his shame and guilt finally starting to ebb away. It was going to take a long time for Bucky to finally feel okay, to actually accept the fact that he had done this to (Y/N) and that (Y/N) was okay with it but he knew he’d get there eventually…perhaps he just needed a bit of coffee and some time to talk. 

~Extended Ending~

   “Bucky,” (Y/N) whispers as they press a series of kisses along his shoulders, slowly but surely waking him up. “Come on Buck, it’s 5:30,” Bucky groaned as he rolled over, throwing an arm over his eyes rather dramatically. 

   “I’m too tired,” 

   “What did I wear you out last night?” There’s a smug tone to (Y/N)’s voice and they no doubt have that stupid smirk on their face like they usually do. “Were we up past your bed time old man?”

   “I swear I’m gonna throw something at you if you don’t stop,” Bucky joked as he peeked at (Y/N) from under his arm, smiling at them softly. 

   “Hm, You’ll have to catch me first to do that,”

   “Is that a challenge?” 

   “I do believe so Mr. Barnes,” 

   “I’m giving you a ten minute head start and I’m still gonna outrun your ass,” Bucky chuckles as he flips back over, snuggling into his bed. “So I suggest you quickly get dressed and get moving,” 

   “Loser buys coffee?” 

   “You bet,” Bucky smirks as (Y/N) jolts out of bed, quickly putting their running clothes on and lacing up their shoes as they stumbled out of the door. Even through the fabric of their leggings Bucky could see the little blue lights of their new prosthetic, the one Tony had given to them only a year prior. That day in the lab felt like years ago, (Y/N) was like that, they made time fly by so fast. A day with them could feel like a lifetime and nothing all at once and Bucky loved it. 

   “Be prepared to lose,” (Y/N) whispers as they lean down, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s forehead before booking it out the door, slamming the apartment door shut behind them. Bucky snuggles into his bed, sighing softly as the sounds of New York buzzed around him and if he listened just close enough he could nearly hear (Y/N) smacking into a wall on their way down. With a satisfied little smirk Bucky buries his face in his pillow, breathing in deeply as his body relaxed. 

   “I’m still gonna outrun their tiny ass,” 

Dear Connor Murphy (Connor Murphy x reader imagine)

A/N: Hello! Thank you all for reading and for the amazing support! I was going to start on requests, but this idea jumped into my head and wouldn’t leave me alone. This is darker than my first two so let me know what you think! I will admit that I cried a little writing this, so be warned.

Requested: nope
Words: 1367
Warnings: One or two swear words. Suicide! If this subject is triggering for you please skip this! I’ll have some fluff tomorrow!

Dear Connor Murphy,

I don’t want to be writing this to you. I never wanted to write this, but you’ve given me no choice.
When we met I thought I knew who I was, and then you arrived like a freaking tornado and changed everything. We had all just come back from winter break, and we’d never really talked, but we’d been in the same math class since freshman year. We only started talking because I loved highlighting notes in class and the teacher took away my highlighters. You commented to me how that was bullshit and let me borrow a few of your own. It’s funny how something so simple could change our lives.
We started talking after that, mostly on preferred methods of organizing our school notes. You hated a messy binder, and we loved talking about how we should run a class on how to take perfect notes. Somehow we found stupid jokes about highlighters and binders hilarious, and when it was just us we lived in our own world.
The outside world found our friendship weird. The freak and the girl next door, sounds cliché right? Not for us, and if it was we didn’t give a shit. With you I didn’t have to hide how messed up life could be, and with me, you could just be a boy, not the crazy kid at school. When we had our anti-Valentine’s Day movie marathon and you kissed me the pieces seemed to fall into place.

Nobody was surprised when we started holding hands and I showed up to school in your hoodies. Even though nobody was surprised there were still glares, snide remarks, and mean comments. Ignoring them was hard, but together we managed because we were a team. Our nights were spent entangled in each other’s arms laughing and sharing secrets while splattering kisses upon each other. Saying it was perfect would be a lie, nothing is perfect, but we were damn close. No matter what was happening we were constants for each other. After fights with your parents you climbed into my window, and after fights with mine I would call you and you would rush over to hold me. Our relationships with other people could be falling apart, but at least we still had each other, even when we fought.
You would get mad when you were insecure, and I would get upset when I felt alone. Sometimes you would scream, or sometimes you would go silent. I would hold you no matter the emotion and you did the same for me. While in holding each other calm settled over us and all the big emotions we felt seemed distant. The only thing we could feel was security.

Before we knew it summer had rolled around and we spent each and every day together. We knew senior year would be hard so we treasured every moment together. I would wake up to you and fall asleep with my head on your chest, legs overlapping, and bare bodies together. Our most private moments switched between those where we divulged hidden pain and ones where we held our naked bodies close.
You told me about the pain you felt, how lonely you would get, how sometimes everything seemed useless. I never shied away from talking about it, and you even said it was getting better, that the thoughts weren’t there as often and life had more meaning. You had never lied to me before that.

When you didn’t show up the first day of senior year a part of me knew. I decided to go to your house after school, denying what I knew deep down. I pulled up to your house and saw ambulances and your parents standing on the porch with blank faces. I don’t even remember getting out of the car, but I remember the feeling of shattering inside me. Your mom and I sat on the couch together, for who knows how long while police asked her questions and I held her hand. Your dad just stared out the window, while your sister stared into space while at the dining room table. I’m supposed to stand in front of people and tell stories about you, but all I can do is feel anger.

You left me. Maybe that sounds selfish, but I get to be since you killed yourself. It doesn’t even feel real to acknowledge that. I keep expecting you to show up in my bedroom and tell me this was just one mean prank, and I would yell, but you would hold me and everything would be okay. Instead, I hold your hoodies as I try to fall asleep, but I can’t sleep. I just rethink everything I did, and everything I didn’t do.
Now I’m just always tired because when I close my eyes I see you and everything that could have been and would have been, and that hurts too much. With my eyes closed I catch glimpses of the sideways smile you would give me when we were driving, I catch glimpses of your favorite jeans that have a hole in the cuffs. I catch glimpses of you in my bed. I catch glimpses of what would have been our first apartment, the tux you would’ve worn to prom. I see you and me carrying groceries and fighting over wedding invitations and baby names. But then I see you dying alone, and your eyes lifeless. I see you being announced dead in your room which you won’t ever walk in again, so I get to be angry. I get to be angry because you left me and took our future away with it. We were going to be that annoying couple that everybody looks up to. We were going to move Oregon after school, eventually buy a house, and have kids that would have your eyes and laugh. It all would have been so beautiful.

I’m angry so I don’t have to be sad because if I were sad I wouldn’t ever stop. The sad keeps creeping in though. I want more time with you. I want more time to memorize the way you wrap your arms around me and the way you kissed me. I want more time to remember the exact sound of your heart beating and the way you said my name. I’m trying to hold onto how you smelled and the way you laughed. I wish I could’ve frozen every moment with you so I could have memorized every detail. I want to go back and count the colors in your eyes and the freckles on your back. It all went by so fast, I wish I could have slowed everything down and relived every moment with you and savor every breath you took. I’m so angry and sad and lonely all at once with you gone. Maybe it was naïve to think that I could love you back to happiness, but I tried; I tried so hard. Now you’re gone and I can’t wish you back, no matter how much I try. I can’t give you my heartbeat so you can live, no matter how much I want and I can’t join you no matter how much I want to. All I can do is try to live, but when you left I died with you. So I’m angry Connor, and I’m sad, but I’ll try to stay upright. I promise you that I won’t move on even if that’s what you want. You were my future; you still are my future even if you’re gone. Before I knew you my future seemed average, go to school, find a man who treats me okay and turn into the person I never wanted to be. Now I refuse to be that, to turn into that. I’ll try my hardest to live a life that I want, one where I break the expectations ahead of me, just like you taught me. So even though you won’t walk next to me, you’ll live in me. Every breath I take and step I make will be because of you, and together our future will be as bright as your smile.



(wrote something to help myself cope with what happened to Georgie, and for anyone else who will NEVER GET OVER IT like me. in this there’s no Pennywise and he lives and gets to be part of the Loser’s Club like he deserves. Reddie and Benverly are both heavily implied cause biased.

can be read on AO3 here)


Georgie Denbrough is six years old.

He’s a happy child. Growing up in a town like Derry hasn’t stopped him from being so. A town where there might be the occasional strange occurrence here and there, a town where people sometimes went missing and never showed up again, a town where the worst seems to be brought out in everyone who lives there—

but not Georgie. He lives in a town where there’s no lost paper boat, no sewers drawing him near, no mind numbing pain, not even any monsters to fear- because Bill makes sure to chase them out from under his bed every night when he asks, of course.

His world revolves around his older brother. Georgie looks to him like he’s the one who lights the stars in the sky and makes the sun rise. Maybe that’s a big part of why Derry isn’t so bad to him. If Bill’s there with him, it can’t be.

And over time, having Bill means Georgie has even more than just that, when he gets to know his friends better and soon becomes a part of them all.

Keep reading

Would Never Call It Love | Finale

After many many many weeks of me being gone, I’ve finally gotten the courage to write the finale of a story that I’ve had so much fun writing, and have had so much fun seeing you guys reactions to it. This story is now my most popular with the most notes I’ve ever gotten on a post, and I can’t thank you guys enough for always pushing me to be a better writer. Sad to end this one, but I have ideas in store for a new story, can’t wait to share it with you guys hopefully soon :-). Enjoy.

(not my photo)

Previous parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 

This day had to come. This day was bound to creep on us sooner. This day may not seem huge to some people, but it’s huge to me. 

The last show of their first leg of the tour. Also known as, the day I’ve decided to go back home to my lonely, small, quiet home…all by myself.

When did I decide this? Probably about 5 hours ago at 7 am when I impulsively bought a plane ticket, while at breakfast with Luke, Ashton, and Arzaylea. While the couple talked throughout breakfast, Ashton kept nudging me and bugging me about what had me so fixated on my small screen, but he leaned over a little far at one point and gave an annoyed sigh before throwing his share for his own food and walked out of the eatery. Luke and Arzaylea still haven’t figured it out.

Now here I am, packing my things, the memories of the last couple of weeks with the boys coming down on me. I picked up a black and white stripped shirt that I wore the day of their 3rd concert, the one where Michael spilled a little too much water on me backstage after the show, and my bra peeked through; of course he didn’t seem to mind though. I then started placing the different colored bracelets Ashton gave me within the second week of tour inside a little pouch in my suitcase. They made me smile because they matched his, so I’d always have a little part of him.

Then it got to my lingerie and undergarments, many of which I wore when Calum was over. I held back tears, my throat becoming itchy, as I packed them deeply away underneath anything else I could. 

I heard a knock at my door, and saw Ash standing there, leaning against the door still looking displeased.

“You know they’re asking about what happened at breakfast right?” 

I only rolled my eyes. “Why am I not surprised.”

“I’m not telling them, you are.” He strode toward my suitcase and began taking out the nicely folded clothes and even took things out of the pouches. The room went silent when he saw the colorful bracelets, and even the same bra from that night when everything took a turn for the worst. He bent down and studied them both, the memories hitting him hard as well.

“After all these weeks, you still have these bracelets?” He questioned quietly. I only gave him a nod. “And this…I remember this little number…everything felt so right that night.” He smiled sadly at the moment that practically changed everything; the friendship, the relationship, his ability to forgive himself for one mistake.

“Well, at least for one person it did.” He threw it back down next to the bracelets and began striding out of the room. I took two big steps before pulling him by the cuff of his sleeve, stopping him.

“Don’t do that to me. You don’t get to be mad at me for the decision I’m making. So what if I’m leaving? So what if I don’t want to be here anymore? It is not my fault that because of my stupid mistakes I don’t want to be in a place where I am not welcome anymore Ashton. Sorry that you don’t have a choice. You’re a part of this band, these are your best friends and even though you’re having a fight with one of them doesn’t mean you can take it out on me because you can’t run away from it like I’m doing.”

“You’re being selfish. You’re thinking of only yourself. Which is exactly what Calum said the other night when you tried talking to him right?” Slap. Instantly my hand landed on his right cheek, making it head and hair whip to the side and cover his face. My breathing was heavier and louder, the feeling of my cheeks getting red growing. He turned his head back slowly, his eyes like dagger stabbing into my skin. I could just the anger dripping off of him.

“Y/N look…” he tried to sound sympathetic, but I only held up my finger and pointed it at the door.

“Just get out.” He knew he was defeated, and that he hit a spot in me that stung. Before I shut the door on him, he turned back slightly and whispered, “Just call me when you get there, please. I need to know that you’ll be safe.” I hummed in response, and shut the door, leaning my back against it. 

Hiding my suitcase backstage behind a bunch of curtains was surprisingly easy. It was easy access, and since I would be leaving 15 minutes before the end of the guys show, nobody would really know that I had left. The only person I’d truly have to say goodbye to is Ashton since he was the only one that knew, or so I thought.

Arzaylea caught me at the snack table and tugged on my jacket, getting as far away from the boys as possible. I gave her a confused look, waiting for her to tell me what was going on since she looked so worried.

“Arz, w-what’s going on-”

“I bugged Ashton for hours about what went wrong this morning, and he finally told me.” She crossed her arms staring me down, while I was looked down messing with my fingers.

“Look, please don’t be upset with me-”

“Oh, you think I’m just upset. That’s rich. I’m more than upset with you Y/N. You’ve become like a sister to me, I thought you were stronger and had more integrity than you’re showing right now. You’re letting a stupid boy get in the way of you living your best life. You think you’ve fucked up? You think I haven’t fucked up either! This-this is all just so disappointing.”

“You have to understand that I’m miserable here now. There’s never a day that goes by anymore that I don’t blame myself for how things have laid out the past couple of weeks. I’ve only made things worst since being here, when I wasn’t even suppose to be in the first place!” I felt the water prickle in my eyes, but clenched my fists to help make it go away.

“If you’re mad because you feel like once I’m gone you feel like we’ll never see or talk to me again, then I can make a promise that that won’t happen.” She only scuffed, but in an amusing way.

“That’s partly why.” She pushed my shoulder playfully as we both smiled at each other.

“I’ll still text you, facetime you and call you. Just because Calum and I can’t get along great doesn’t mean I have to give up some of the best people in my life. I just have to…give him some space. It’s for the best.” I peeked over her shoulder slightly to see Calum biting into a green apple, water bottle in his other hand. I couldn’t help but shutter at the veins popping out of his neck and how defined his jawline got when it jutted out to eat the piece of the apple. It’s the simple things Calum did that got under my skin.

Arzaylea pulled me into a tight hug then pulled back to smile at me, and proceeded to do what most girls do with their best friends, take a snapchat. She pulled up a funny filter to get me to calm down and smile, but after the picture was taken, something slimy and runny was piled on top of my head.

Arzaylea and I jumped back from each other as some of it did get on her too, then we turned around to find Nia with a smirk holding the big plate that was dead center of the snack table that was labeled “Spaghetti.” The crew and everyone stopped doing whatever they were doing, and watched to find out what was going to happen next.

“Nia what the fuck!” Arz yelled, wiping off the bits of tomato sauce that was now on her clothes and hair.

“She deserved it.” She came up close to my face, trying to intimidate me however I held my ground and stared her right back down.

“That’s for making Calum break up with me.” She chuckled. “You think he’d really eventually end up falling for you? Oh girl, you’ve got it so wrong. He told me all the awful things you’ve done to him, but don’t worry, I fucked all the bad feelings out of him.” Before I could hear another word, I pushed past her walking fast toward the curtain where my suitcase was located. Sure, I’d have to wait in the airport for almost 2 hours, but I couldn’t stand to be in anybody’s presence anymore. I felt an arm tug me around, and the same husky voice from before rang through my ears.

“Y/N what are you doing, you can’t leave now!” He yelled in my face.

“Ashton! Stop trying to make my decisions for me. You may love me but you don’t know what’s best for me.” His grip instantly loosened and I took the chance to take my arm from his hand. “Now let me go.” And grab my suitcase hoisting it up from the ground and running toward the back exit.

I didn’t see it, but I left Calum standing there with his food now sprawled across the floor at his feet, a dumbfounded look on his face, and for the first time in a while, an aching heart. 

Calum’s POV

The last show of this first leg of the tour was thrilling and exciting, but once my body left that crowd of energy and happiness, reality snapped back into me, and all my confusion and frustration came out of me when I chucked my water bottle at the nearest wall, and it exploded everywhere. Michael’s soft voice could be heard right behind me, telling me to calm down and to not take my anger out so aggressively like that because who knows, I could’ve hit a person instead. 

“Look, I know MIkey, I’m sorry…I just-I’m so confused right now.” We both plopped down on the couch in our dressing room, my hands coming up to my face.

“What did Ashton mean by ‘you can’t leave now’ when he was talking to Y/N? And what was in her hands when she was running away…”

“She left.”

My hands came down from my face, hoping and praying I’d see a laughing MIchael after that statement. It just couldn’t be true. But after a few seconds had passed, he continued to nod his head, as if he was still trying to make the situation seem real.

“She left Cal. She went back home tonight. Ashton told me before we went on stage tonight. He couldn’t tell you because he knew it would only distract you more. He just doesn’t want to keep making you mad mate, he cares for you so much even after everything.” His hand came up to my shoulder giving it a friendly squeeze. My chest sank lower in my chest trying to piece together just how bad everything had gotten, my life outside of the lights and music, was falling into shambles.

“I need to go make up with him first.” Michael smiled and agreed, both of us quickly grabbing our stuff before heading out. He informed me that Ashton had drove straight to the hotel we were staying at right after the show ended, and that Luke and Arzaylea were spending some time together tonight out and about. We headed straight after to him to patch things up. Even though that was the first thing on my mind, I was secretly hoping Y/N just might be there.

We raced up to the elevator and impatiently waiting until it reached our floor, only to find Ashton just closing his door as if he was leaving. I ran up to him and tackled him in a big hug, his weight leaning against mine to stop us from falling. I was holding him so tight the indents in my arms were showing through, and my hand veins were popping out. 

“Ash, ash I’m so sorry for everything dude. You come before anyone else and I shouldn’t have blamed you for everything happening.” We pulled away and he smiled so big his famous dimples showed, and the crinkles near my eyes accompanied my own smile.

“Cashton, always man.” And we did one of those bro handshakes, Michael leaning against the hallway wall watching this beautiful moment unfold. My eyes slowly drooped after things quieted down. Ashton could read my mind, and his arms reached out to gently rub my shoulders.

“So, she’s really gone?”

“I just got off the phone with her. I raced back here to see if she’d still be here but, no luck.” I shook my head in disbelief, disappointed in myself for being as stubborn as I was and almost losing my best friend, along with the girl of my dreams. “Her plane should be taking off soon, I’d say text her Cal. She needs to hear from you that you at least don’t hate her.”

“But that’s the point. I don’t hate her at all, I feel so strongly for her, more than I ever thought I could for someone…” Michael came behind me and leaned his head on me sighing. The weight of her gone now upon all of us. The atmosphere seemed different, the vibe between all of us was still off, as if the Earth was off its axis and everything seemed…wrong. 

“Why don’t we get some rest now guys, we’ve worked hard these past couple of weeks. Let’s enjoy these next few days before our next leg? Am I right?” We all agreed and they decided to walk with me to my room and stay the night, just so we knew that we were all there for each other if one of us needed something throughout the night.

As we entered the room, I walked in first to see a familiar jet black sleek suitcase sitting next to the door. My eyes widened and I looked up to see Ashton holding back a small grin, jutting out his chin, telling me to go see what I was already thinking. My legs quickly carried me past the small curve of the room into the bedroom, seeing a small Y/N sitting crossed legged on my bed in the first t-shirt I ever gave her to keep when I wasn’t around her, my Maine t-shirt.

She stood up upon hearing my loud strides and the shirt fell to just above her privates, her hair disheveled and her makeup slightly streaky, like she had been crying.

“Calum…” her voice croaked. I looked back at the boys, watching them in awe as Michael’s face lit up at the sight of her, Ashton looking proud. And they both walked slowly out of the room, leaving us alone.

“They told me you left…” I said in disbelief.

“I couldn’t…I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t get on that plane and fly away from you, not without fixing things first.” She walked closer to me timidly. I had to bring her closer, so I pulled her in by her waist, wrapping my large hand around the back of her head and placing it underneath my chin, my other hand tightly wrapped around her waist. My breathing became heavy, my heart beat racing, my head filling up with euphoric memories.

“You’re-you’re heart is beating so fast Cal…”

“It’s because it’s happy to be close to you again.” She pulled away to look up at me, her eyes glossy once again, a happy yet sad look in her eyes, as if she didn’t know how to feel in his moment.

“Y/N I am so sorry for never letting you have a chance at explaining things to me, or never giving you a chance to speak and finish your sentences. And I’m sorry that it took me so long to realize it and that it took you almost leaving for me to realize that I never stopped feeling for you. But I promise if you stay, right here, with me, you won’t ever have to go through something like this again. We could have the love we’ve always wanted.” I pleaded. Without hesitation she reached up and brought my face to meet hers, her lips lightly pressing the softest kiss we’d ever shared. I couldn’t help but deepen it, feeling her smaller frame pushed up against mine again. We rested our foreheads against one another as she brought her hands to rest on my chest, lightly rubbing her thumbs over the material.

“I wouldn’t have ever called this love before.” Gesturing to the past complicated relationship we had.

“What about right now?”

“It’s the only word I can use to describe it.”

YAY IT’S FINISHED. I was going to add smut but this alone took me 3 hours so I’m extremely tired you guys ;( request smut though if you want it! Again, thank you so much on the love for this story! I put up a ‘would you rather’ post so if you could, please look at it and tell me which story you’d like to write next. Btw GGMOW will be up soon as well!

blitzstone headcanons

oh my god i love these two so much

  • hearth is the little spoon FIGHT ME
  • when they’re laying next to each other, not really talking, blitz will trace shapes on the backs of hearthstone’s hands because the elf finds it soothing
  • blitz will pull hearth towards him by both ends of his scarf and give him a sweet kiss just for the hell of it
  • blitzen’s best becomes well-known among boston’s deaf and hard-of-hearing community for its accepting staff and excellent sense of style
  • hearthstone lets blitz make different scarves for him so long as they’re still red and white. it’s supposed to be challenging because there’s not much you can do with two colors and one long piece of fabric, but blitz clearly knows what he’s doing
  • they continue to mother the hell out of magnus every moment they get because, well, it’s mostly out of habit these days.
  • hearth does all the cooking. he’s just better with the smells and measuring making everything taste amazing. the only problem is that he can’t hear the fire alarm go off (which doesn’t happen too often, thank the gods).
  • one night, after closing late at blitzen’s best, it starts raining while they’re walking down the street. they share a kiss and then blitz decides to teach hearth how to waltz.
  • he stumbles a bit and doesn’t quite know what he’s doing, but blitz takes the lead and, with a little guidance, he’s able to follow blitz without once looking at his feet
Voltron Sickfic

HEY so I read an amazing prompt by @the-angst-chronicles (It’s not letting me tag you idk) about Lance falling into an alien lake and getting sick and so I did a Thing^TM. I sort of diverged from the prompt a little, but yeah,

Word count: 1979

((This is my first like, actual complete fic, so sorry if it sucks lol.))


As much as Lance missed Earth, he had to admit that this planet was pretty beautiful—even more so after Voltron had turned its Galra bases into smoking piles of rubble. The battle had been tough, but they’d managed to free the planet’s natives from Zarkon, so that was a definite plus.

Now, they were walking through the gardens of this world’s royalty as Allura talked diplomacy with them—if Voltron impressed these aliens enough, then they could provide valuable supplies in the war. The alien dignitaries were going on a long spiel about a spring nearby, something about how important and special it was—that was, until they were cut off abruptly by a “Quiznack!” and a splash as Lance tripped and fell into the water. At that, the aliens became enraged, yelling indignantly as Lance resurfaced, sputtering.

Keep reading



Asa is incredibly jealous of Y/N’s boyfriend and comforts her after they break up.

Break up, jealousy, make out session

Words: ~ 2000

A/N: Just felt like writing something for all of the Asa Butterfield fans lately… So enjoy! :)


I sat down on the picnic rug I had just laid onto the ground and let my gaze wander around the park.
My boyfriend Lucas seated himself right next to me, not allowing any space between us.

“Is he single, Y/N?”, he asked and I looked at him, knitting my eyebrows in confusion. “Who?”
“Your best friend… what’s his name again?”, the blond sighed, not sounding very interested.
“It’s Asa. And yes, he’s single. But I don’t see why this important. He is just a friend.”, I replied, rolling my eyes.

“My mum always said that, I quote, ‘Relationships between a boy and a girl on a normal basis are nonexistent’ ”, he claimed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Well, then, your mother is wrong. Me and Asa have been nothing more than good friends for six years.”, I explained and looked into his green eyes. “And that’s why I want you two to get along.”

Before Lucas could answer, I saw Asa walking towards us in a fast pace. His hands in his pockets, the typical smile on his face and his dark hair slightly covering his forehead.

When he was only a few meters away I stood up to hug him. I let him press me against his chest but pushed him away slightly, not letting the hug last too long, sadly. I love his hugs.

Asa seemed a bit confused at first, due to the fact that our hugs usually last longer. I just didn’t want to upset Lucas even though he had been behaving like a prat all day.

“So, Lucas this is Asa. Asa, meet Lucas.”, I introduced them and they shook hands. As we sat down, I tried to keep the same distance from both of them.

In this moment I realised that the two boys weren’t similar at all, at least concerning the looks. Lucas was blond and green-eyed and while he wasn’t really tall he was more muscular. Asa was completely different: His hair was so dark -almost black- and his eyes were so incredibly blue and sometimes changed color to gray. Unlike Lucas he was taller and skinny.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence I started smalltalk which made it a bit less awkward, thankfully. Soon a normal conversation began but still I found myself struggling.

I was having a hard time trying not to upset Lucas or make him jealous by giving too much attention to Asa. Plus, I didn’t want Asa to feel awkward by clutching at Lucas.

“You both know that it’s important that you get along.”, I smiled and Asa nodded. “But don’t worry, Lucas,”, he said, “I’ve seen a lot of boyfriend come and go. I don’t want you to be put under pressure.” “Asa!”, I exclaimed and then, slapped his arm slightly.

“It’s okay. I don’t have the intention to leave you. Ever.”, Lucas assured me, moving closer. “That’s so sweet.”, I chuckled while he wrapped his right arm around me. In this moment I realised again that this typical butterflies had already disappeared a few weeks ago. “Sure.”, I heard Asa murmur his eyes avoiding mine.

“You know that I could never hurt such a precious girl.”, Lucas claimed making me blush but Asa just looked at us, annoyed and uncomfortable.
“Well, yes, I do know that. Because if you do I will certainly cut your eyes out and feed them to my cat.”, Asa said, his face so serious as if he would actually do it. I was surprised. I knew that Asa was protective but lately it got worse.

“So much for you two getting along.”, I laughed trying to loosen the tension. “Oh, I think we will get along someday, won’t we?”, Lucas asked Asa, a smirk on his face. But Asa just perked his eyebrows up and nodded, “Yeah, of course.”

“At least I’m not the one who needs to be jealous.”, Lucas chuckled and Asa kept quiet looking to the side defeatedly.


“So, how do you like him?”, I asked Lucas, while we were laying on the couch watching a romance. “He’s very direct but he’s okay, I guess.”, the green-eyed boy mumbled, not really convincing me.

“Maybe we could hangout again.”, I grinned excitedly. “Yeah, but maybe we should use our time for ourself.”, he whispered before pressing his lips on mine gently.


“So, how do you like him?”, I asked Asa the same question hoping that he accepts my boyfriend.

“I don’t know, Y/N.”, I heard my best friend’s voice through my phone. I sighed.
“I can tell when you’re lying, Asa.”, I reminded him and there was nothing more than silence for a moment.

“I don’t think he deserves you. He doesn’t treat you probably.”, he admitted quietly and I scoffed. “You don’t even know him that well to say something like that.”, I said loudly, feeling anger inside me, “He treats me perfectly! And unlike you he enjoys watching romantic movies with me!”

“I didn’t say I don’t enjoy it. I said I think they are boring. There’s a difference.”, he clarified, “But just because he watches cheesy movies with you doesn’t mean that he deserves you. He’s toadying you anyway.” His voice got louder with every word he spoke and despite all the anger I felt hurt.

“He likes you or he’s at least trying to like you. Why can’t you do the same?”, I wanted to know running my fingers through my hair desperately.
“I did try to like him because I know… I know how important this is to you but I just can’t, okay?! It’s not my fault that you’re dating such a prick.”, he shouted and I closed my eyes for a moment. I couldn’t even remember the last time we had a fight like this…

Again, there was silence. I noticed a single tear rolling over my cheek. Why do I always have to be so emotional?
“Listen. I’m so sorry…Y/N? I didn’t want to shout… I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t want you to get hurt.”, Asa admitted with his soft voice and i heard him sigh before he continued, “I’m sorry but I just know that he will hurt you… And I’m sorry because I can’t stand him.”

“But why not?”, I asked calmly, still shocked because of his shouting. “I don’t know…”, he mumbled and I whispered, “Don’t lie to me.”

I heard a low chuckle, before he spoke again, “I can’t tell you.”


Asa and I didn’t talk for almost three weeks after that conversation, which is why I was really upset all the time.
This lead to a lot of fights with Lucas. He didn’t think that I should be sad just because of one little fight with my best friend. And he was constantly annoyed and said that I should talk to Asa, so everything would be fine again. But it wasn’t that easy.

At one point he was sure that I was in love with Asa. And then, he just broke up with me. Right out of the blue.

I remember taking my phone and calling Asa, instinctively. “Asa? I’m so… so sorry. You were right…”, I sobbed, tears streaming down my face. “Hey! What’s wrong?”, I heard his beautiful voice. Maybe Lucas was right and I really fell in love with my best friend without even realising it.

“Lucas… he broke up… with-”, I brought out but was interrupted by Asa, “I’m on my way. I’ll be there any second.”


Too many moments later I heard the door bell ring and I opened the door, letting my best friend enter my apartment.

“I’m so sorry.”, I said again but Asa just shook his head and cracked a smile before taking me into his arms. I snuggled my face into his neck enjoying every second.

“It’s okay.”, Asa had repeated the whole time as we sat awkwardly embraced on the couch. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”, he asked and I nodded, brushing my tears away with the back of my hand.

“He said that I’m more interested in you than in him… and that… that I’m cheating on him with you… and he said that he doesn’t want to be with a… with a… slut.”, I told him starting to cry again. “No way. I’m going to kill him.”, Asa mumbled, his blue eyes filled with anger. “Asa, I’m so sorry. You were right the whole time.”, I whispered taking his hands and realising that I always loved to play with his hands. It calmed me down and knowing that he was there for me made me even happy.

When I looked up into his bright eyes I saw him watching me with a soft facial expression. “Could you please stop crying?”, he pleaded brushing away a tear that I didn’t know was there. “He’s not worth your tears, Y/N. Please, give me a smile, come on.”, he grinned causing me to force a smile. “There you go. And now say that you don’t need an asshole like him in your life.”

“I don’t need an asshole like Lucas in my life.”, I mumbled and looked at our hands. “What did you say? I didn’t hear you.”, Asa chuckled making me say it over and over again until I was shouting the sentence so loud that the whole country could hear it.

We ended up laughing uncontrollablaly and it felt so good to finally laugh again.
I looked at Asa, smiling while he was trying to calm down.

He sat up again, his face getting more serious. I was confused for a moment but then he started to talk.

“If you think that this is some kind of romantic moment from one of your movies… where the best friend comforts the girl after a breakup and then confesses his love for her…,”, he paused, taking a deep breath and gaining my full attention, “then you’re totally right.”

My heart fluttered as my gaze wandered to our interwined fingers. Did he really just say that or is my mind playing games with me?
My eyes met his blue ones and I couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t you want to say something?”, he asked nervously.

“I’ve always wondered how this dark hair would feel between my fingers while making out with you.”, I confessed, surprised by my sudden self - confident because I had always been thinking that this was my puperty talking. But maybe it was more like a subconscious thought.

“Do you want to try?”, Asa asked, his eyebrows perking up and a huge flirty smile spreaded over his face.

And in the next moment I moved forward, my hands on his shoulders, pulling him towards me. I closed my eyes before our lips met, feeling the heat crawling up my neck. Carefully our lips began to move and I felt the butterflies flying around in my whole body. I felt the strong urge to feel his whole body and as if he could read my mind Asa broke the kiss for a few seconds but only to grab my waist and pull me on his lap.

His eyes found mine and he smirked at me before we kissed again. My shaking hands wandered from his shoulders to his neck, my fingertips slowly brushing over his hot skin.
When my fingers ran through his soft hair and his hands ran up and down my back I couldn’t help but sigh.

He smiled into the kiss before he leaned back slightly. “I can’t believe that this feels way better than I’ve ever imagined.”, he breathed, pressing his forehead against mine.
I couldn’t help but smile when he said that but somehow I wasn’t really able to say something.

“So? How does my dark hair feel between your fingers while making out with me?”, he wanted to know, while we both still tried to control our fastened breath. “There are no words to describe this softness.”, I mumbled and opened my eyes, only to see that Asa had been staring at me.

“I’m really happy now that Lucas broke up with me. But I think I need some more comforting.”, I whispered making him laugh. But only a moment later his lips were on mine again.

Day off

Day off | Joe Sugg | smut

Word count: 2053

A/N: First smut in English, please take it easy on me!

You can find more Buttercream Squad texts on here | Requests are open!

You started moving in the bed before open your eyes when you woke up, trying to find Joe in there so you could start heating your morning. After feeling only the sheets, you saw the bed was empty. You groaned and heard the shower in the bathroom aside your room, Joe was awake already.

You got up, wondering if you could join Joe in his shower, feeling more horny than you probably should this early in the morning, however this wasn’t a problem, was it? Who cared about that kind of issue? This was something that could easily be sorted out.

“Good morning.” Joe said when you entered the bathroom.

You gave a little ladino smile: “Good morning.”

Y/N in a good mood before eating breakfast and having her shit done? No, that wasn’t her.

“What?” Joe asked cautiously.

“Nothing.” you answered brushing your teeth and, after throwing the toothpaste on the sink, you revealed: “Maybe I could get in there with you.”

Joe looked a little anxious. Not the good anxious, the oh-no anxious.

“Y/N, no.” he determined and you faced him through the mirror.

“Why not?” you inquired while crossing your arms and turning to Joe, seeing his naked body through the box steam.

“I have a meeting.” he said and his voice cracked.

“It’s Saturday, Joe.” you refuted, walking to the shower and opening the box even if you had your clothes on.

“Y/N.” he warned, seeing your movements and not knowing if he could be able to escape them. “It’s an important meeting.”

“Oh, what a shame, isn’t it?” you commented, getting closer to Joe.

He took a step back and his back was against the wall, you took a step further and the warm water falling from the shower wet you, making the white t-shirt of Joe that you used as pajamas every time you were at his place turn transparent, so he could see that you weren’t wearing a bra that morning.

“Oh, for God’s sake, Y/N.” he sighed and held your shoulders tightly, making your smile grow. “I can’t, babe. I swear.” You got confuse and he laid you aside, so he could pass and get off the box.

“Fuck you, Joe!” you exclaimed, alone in the shower.

“We can continue it tonight!” he promised, walking to the other bathroom so he could finish his shower in peace. Now, thanks to you, it would be a cold one.


You were laying in the bed and watching Joe searching the closet for his accessories. You chose to put only a black lingerie and got in every room Joe went, still this wasn’t making any difference in your boyfriend’s life.

You rolled your eyes after listening Joe tell you for the fifth time the fact he couldn’t reschedule this meeting. You didn’t care about the damn meeting! You just wanted your boyfriend! You grumbled to yourself and then had an idea. Joe wasn’t helping you with your little situation? Fine, but you wouldn’t help him at all with his too.

“Joe?” you called, interrupting him.


“We have Oli’s party tonight, you remember it?” you asked, biting your lip.

“Yeah, I told him we will be there at 9.”

“What you think I should wear?”

Joe immediately looked at you. You never asked his opinion about your clothes. Never. You always liked to choose what would you wear in a point that even if you resolved to put an outfit days before the event and didn’t like the set the day of the happening, you would change it to something completely different. Also, he got a bit jealous of you being all over The Weeknd once, after you went to his concert and bought a t-shirt of it. Joe told you he didn’t like the t-shirt and you knew it was about him getting jealous, but not liking something you were wearing? Uh-oh, no! You used that t-shirt 5 days in a roll, making an extra effort to wash it and wear it every day.

“Why…?” he already distrusted you. Well, he should.

You ran your right hand through your hair.

“I don’t know…” you slid your hand to your bra strap, twisting it in your fingers. “I’m feeling a little bit bold today…” you sighed as you placed your left forefinger in your mouth. “Don’t you think that my boobs look nice today?” your both hands went towards your breasts and hold them. “I don’t know, they seem bigger.” you commented and pressed them.

You could hear Joe’s breath despite of him being far from you and, when you blinked, making your “innocent” face to him, he couldn’t breathe at all. You laughed and raised an eyebrow, pressing your breasts in a particular way now, setting a rhythm for it that soon would make you moan.

“Y/N…” Joe whispered, not being able to raise his voice more than that.

Seeing him so close to the edge of losing his self control made you get even hotter, therefore you slipped your right hand through your abs, marking the Paradise’s way with the tips of your fingers, and Joe saw when the fingers disappeared in your black panty.

Joe was struggling already after your little scene in the bathroom and seeing you being so damn sexy was too much to him. He could feel his pants getting tighter and his body heating. Unintentionally, his eyes met yours and you could saw the light blue turn into a dark one, the lust color. Fuck it. Joe slowly walked until the end of the bed.

“You just like to make my life harder, don’t you?” he asked and you looked at him, turning your body.

“Oh, no, Joseph Sugg.” you said with only what was left of your voice, your body tingling for Joe’s touch. “I just want your life to be better.”

And your eyes closed as they were at the beginning of that morning, but now you weren’t sleepy, you were fully awake and, in your mind, all you could see was the scene of Joe touching you the way you wanted him to and you could almost feel it as you pressed your core.

“Y/N.” he called and you opened your eyes. “Leave me a little.”

You smiled and took your hand off your thong, Joe bowed and hold the piece of lace, taking it off. He stood up and looked at you, being sure your eyes were on his before taking his t-shirt off too, so he bowed again and hold your feet, slipping them through the white sheets and making your legs flex together. Then he separated them, opening your legs and bending to give a kiss in between them, your body twisted of excitement.

In the moment Joe’s tongue licked all your core, you pressed your boobs so hard you were sure this would leave a mark after, but you didn’t care. You let a loud moan slip through your lips and started moving your hips, so Joe’s tongue could be more inside you.

“Hold up, dear.” he said, raising his arms and, instead holding your legs, he was holding your hips now. “Are you trying to rush the things?”

And there he was again, with his tongue making you see nothing that made sense, there were only color blurs all over your mind. You couldn’t handle it anymore, so you hold his hair with your left hand to guide him.

“Joe.” you whined.

He raised his head, despite the fact you didn’t want him to, and gave you a smile. He started crawl to the bed until being in the same height as you.

“Don’t like teasing now, huh Y/N?” You nodded your head, no! Teasing was the worst thing ever. “I do like teasing now, though.”

“Joe.” you whined again, his body was all over you. His jeans were rough against your skin and didn’t help you with your situation, making you want to rub yourself in those. You couldn’t move, Joe was holding his weight just enough to not suffocate you.

He laughed. Son of a bitch! You were just being a good girlfriend! You were almost about to tell him what he was when his lips pressed yours and you could feel your own taste on the tip of his tongue, vanishing all your thoughts with heat.

His kiss went down, exploring your neck before Joe took your bra off (finally!). He sucked your nipple while playing the other and you weren’t able to think in one full sentence. You intertwined your legs with his body and when he was near to your belly button, you decided you had enough. Holding his hair tight, you made Joe come up again to kiss him, so you twisted your bodies and now you were on the top.

With a little smile that said “my turn, sweetie”, you got up, hurrying up to take his pants off. How these were there for so long? Gods!

“That feels better, don’t you think?” you asked and Joe nodded his head, yes! Well, it wouldn’t be like this forever.

You decided to leave his boxers there for a little longer, so you could sit in his member and be a little naughty. You started riding and saw Joe let the head hang, without strength to keep going. How nice was the feel of making someone feel that way? Your hips acquire rhythm by themselves and the friction between your clitoris and the soft fabric of his underwear was welcome. Joe hold your waist as his moans grew louder. You were biting your lips and Joe Sugg could swear his life that this was the hottest scene he ever watched.

You gave him a nice smile and started playing with elastic of his boxers, your nail wandering his V area just to give him goosebumps.

“Y/N.” he warned in a long moan.

You laid down and gave Joe a kiss before getting up again and starting to took off his boxers. You put your right hand in his length and started making your way up and down slowly, feeling it pulsate according to what you wanted.

You heard Joe moan loudly, the same kind of moan you knew it was time to stop the little games, he soon would lose his patience, so you started being faster on your movements.

“Oh, fuck it.” Joe complained, sitting so he could hold your shoulders and throw you in bed.

A laugh escaped through your lips, you loved when you teased him so much he started getting pissed off. That day in particular, you were kind of inspired to do that.

“You think is funny, babe?” he asked, holding your hips so he could prepare himself. Your large smile answered his question. “Fine.”

And Joe didn’t want to play anymore, therefore he pushed himself into you without any delicacy and you grunted. This was what you were looking for.

So it was just like that Ed Sheeran’s song, you two pushed and pulled just like magnets do, although magnets couldn’t be as loud as you and Joe. You also couldn’t breath straight, not either Joe, as you got faster and stronger. Your bodies were sweating and the shiver announced the end was near.

Without failing, you felt your orgasm making it’s way to you. As soon as you got there, Joe did too, you both pressing your bodies more and more against each other, holding tighter until it ends.

Joe let a last breath escaped, then he got out of you and fell down in the bed. As you were catching your breath again, you couldn’t avoid to tease him.

“I guess we will need another shower after this.”

“Yes, I guess we will.” he answered.

You looked at him and gave a “I won” smile, just for fun.

“Fuck off, Y/N.” he complained.

You laughed and gave him a hug.

“Now you are already late, can you just miss your meeting so we can cuddle this whole weekend?”

Joe looked at you and then sighed, he gave up and placed his arms around you.

“You always get what you want, don’t you?”

“That is the plan, sweetie.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I will just call my agent and say I’m sick.”

Color Vision

Originally posted by dailyteamcap

Sam Wilson x reader

Warnings: none

Grey strawberries

Grey bananas

Even the cakes were grey.

Man, the food looked especially unappetizing today.

Keep reading

5 Lies Before Sunset

SUMMARY: Jake knows that nothing in La Huerta is going to last. But he wants it to. So as the sun sets, lies and denial fill his mind—with only one of them being the truth.

UNIVERSE: Endless Summer

PAIRINGS: Jake McKenzie X MC

AUTHOR’S NOTE: For Round Nineteen of #ChoicesCreates by @hollyashton hosted by @pb-boeboe.

Okay, I’ll admit that this is one of the saddest things I’ve written in a while. The uncertainty of Jake and our MC’s future just hurts so bad. Written while listening to Embody Me by Novo Amor. (Rating: T, mild language)

Seas crashing. We walk down the shore, the salted water against our toes. Sunset beach. You watch the sunkissed sky with awestruck wonder in your eyes. Eyes wide open. You whisper words of how beautiful the spectacle is before you, and I nod as all I see is you.

I focus on your moving lips and your intoxicating laughter. Lies, lies, lies are the words that flash before my gaze. I watch as you jump into the waves. Why, why, why is all I can ask as our future blurs.

I’m not afraid. No, I’m terrified. The colors light up your figure and I try so hard to remember, but the dark hits right after I blink—I fucking lose you. I want to fight for you. Hell, that’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at. But this fight is one I’ll never win.

I’ll never leave. But you will. When this is all over, you’ll go back to the future you’ve always wanted. You’ll have the life you deserve, while I’ll be living the damned life I never asked for. So stow your love with me. Every kiss, every night, every moment. Write it in my mind as your body leaves to embody my misery.

We were meant to be. But, oh, I’m in agony. Forcefully. That’s how you leave. And when you lose your hold on my hand, I find that the only grip you had of me didn’t have any at all.  In your happiness, all I had was pain. So much pain.

We’ll last forever. That’s what this endless summer wants us to believe. For what it’s worth, I would’ve held you close to me until the very end. Until the whole damn world slipped away. Until you slipped away.

I love you. I love the way your hand fits perfectly in mine, how you get me drunk when I’m as sober as I’ll ever be. But I’m sorry, I’m sorry because I know that my love will never be enough.

You come out of the water and pull me from the shallows to the deep. I look at you, I look at you like it’s the last time I ever will. I mirror your smile to mask the feel of being ripped apart from the inside. Loud, loud, loud is the sound of the harbinger. Stop, stop, stop is what I tell myself as we crash like those waves on the shore.

Five lies haunt my mind before the sun sets. I can’t help but wonder which one of them is true.

In @fishingboatproceeds’s new book, Turtles All the Way Down, the narrator experiences things she calls thought spirals, where as the phrase suggests, your thoughts consume you and spin towards an infinite spiral, coiling so tight until it possesses your entire conscience in that moment.

This past month has been incredibly hard for me. A few years ago, my therapist recommended journaling, doodling, or coloring as a way to cope with my panic and anxiety in a healthy manner. During the past few days, I’ve pulled out this piece whenever I felt like a thought spiral was on the verge of forming.

My thoughts as of lately have been a lot like this:

If I fail this assignment I won’t get a good grade in the course.
Then I will have a lower gpa.
Then I won’t get into graduate school.
Then I’ll have to endure more emotional abuse from my family.
Then I’ll have to deal with the fact that I’m a failure.
Then the sacrifices my parents made to get me here were made in vain.
Then what kind of person am I?
Why do I deserve these privileges when there are others more worthy?

Am I studying enough?

Am I trying hard enough?

Am I enough?

So each spiral in this drawing was a time I felt like things were beyond my control or I couldn’t handle or process my emotions or thoughts or when I became fixated on all the overwhelming negative possibilities or consequences that could happen.

I wish I could say I’m getting better but just because our brains and neuronal networks exhibit immense plasticity, doesn’t mean it will happen when you need it.

And even though evolution can occur over time, adaptive changes within a species don’t occur because these organisms have a stronger will to live.

But I still wake up each morning, surrounded by people who care. And I think for now, waking up each morning to see another day should be enough.