but afraid to talk about age

PULP FICTION 📖 [ACT 1]

PAIRING: steve harrington x reader, billy hargrove x reader

summary: nancy breaks up with steve and he is a bit of a mess when you find him. being the new girl in hawkins you try to befriend and keep nancy off his mind. it backfires and now you have him falling in love with you, as you fight off the urge to fall in love with him, too. [THIS IS AN AU!]

warnings: swearing, sexual situations, violence

a/n: quentin tarantino is my favorite director and i really love old movies. so here’s this. lot’s of music in here. also, nothing too major happens now. just two characters meet. this is possibly the maybe first time i have such an independant/strong reader

if you like my stuff and want to support me, don’t forget to treat me to a KO-FI!

MASTERLIST.

[ACT 2.]

music.

“Hey, sorry to bother you. I wouldn’t be if… if you didn’t look like you could use some company.”

Your statement is met with silence as the unfamiliar guy in front of you lifts his eyes up to stare at you in bewilderment. Late autumn wind blows past and ruins your neat hairdo. Your hand grips the strap of your purse; you note tears glisten in his deep brown eyes and decide to look away so he’d have enough time to collect himself. The guy sniffles, rubs his eyes before giving you a tight smile; He opens his mouth to possibly dismiss you, but you beat him to it, “There’s no shame in crying. If you’re sad, you’re sad, right? Nothing you can do about it.” He sighs, “May I sit?” You inquire. After a moment of consideration, he gives a curt nod. And so you do.

Keep reading

5

You play wingman for your fellow warden during the Blight only for him to talk smack about you later. HOW RUDE.

I just realized I misspelled Ferelden wrong. *hides face in shame*

Edit: Don’t be afraid to check out my other Dragon Age comics if you enjoyed this one! 
Life With G-Dragon

Writer ; ~ MonsterYuYu/Yuyu ~

A/N ; “This is like.. very very long.. ;~;. Shows how things would progress! “


Being Friends ;

  • Your first meeting would be at a Fashion Show
  • Somehow you would sit next to him, your friend on the other side
  • During the show, he would comment with you the outfits and the styles
  • Not really talking much just from time to time because of the cameras
  • But in the dinner, something that was private and no cameras was allowed
  • Jiyong would start talking to you, complimenting your style and choice of clothing
  • Would also talk with your friend, introducing his own friends also
  • After that, he would ask your number to stay in touch
  • Your first meeting wouldn’t be often, but patience is key in the start
  • Having 2 meeting per month, it wasn’t too bad.
  • But it was a matter of time until he was asking you to meet him more and more
  • Because both of you were alike and enjoyed the same things
  • He would put effort to try meeting you with other friends too
  • Because he didn’t want people being over you too much, especially the cameras and the media
  • As the friendship grew, you would meet the other BigBang members, getting along pretty well with they
  • You suddenly would find yourself in the middle of celebrities
  • Not that you would mind it, of course
  • Jiyong would take a lot of pictures with you, but only publishing these where you two were with other friends, never tagging your account as well
  • He would post some pictures of you both on his private account
  • Of course, he invited you to follow his private account after about 8 months of friendship 
  • Knowing that he really considers you a close friend when he goes to you asking for advice
  • After a year of friendship, you both would be trying to set each other in dates
  • Let’s just say that it was a fail every time and you both had to comfort each other shortly after the relationship
  • Going shopping together would happen, but not so often
  • Because he’s a fashionista, if you needed advice about a clothing he would gladly point out what you should wear and what not
  • Min HyoRin would be your best friend, she was often around because of YoungBae and you two just started to do everything together
  • When you agreed to go out with her and YoungBae with Jiyong tagging along, it was kinda awkward
  • They both were a couple and you and Jiyong would be a bit awkward because of it
  • It didn’t last long, you both would talk about how it was so awkward and cringe together, laughing
  • Some people would ship you and Jiyong together, but you both didn’t pay much attention to it

Crush ;

  • Finding out you had a crush on Jiyong was a bit of a shock
  • Because just yesterday he was only a friend in your eyes but now it’s different?
  • Jiyong would also start liking you
  • The others members would realize he liked you before he himself realized
  • It would be a bit awkward because of this, everyone would notice that you two were a bit different towards each other
  • But after that phase, he would just be around you more
  • Going out more than normally and looking out for you more than normally
  • People would notice that his clubbing would stop
  • And that he was spending more time with you
  • It was pretty obvious that he liked you, but they didn’t know if you felt the same
  • So they were afraid of saying anything to you, what if it destroyed your guy’s friendship
  • Would support everything you wanted to do, and even help if he cans
  • He really wanted to confess
  • But there were so many things holding him back from doing it, such as cameras, the media, his fans
  • Mainly because he was afraid that you would reject him
  • In the end, he just asked you out, after 3 months of liking you he just decided to give it a shot
  • Was really surprised and blushy when you said ‘yes’
  • He planned the date carefully, he didn’t want to get caught neither hurt you because of his career as an idol
  • Jiyong couldn’t give you a normal date, but he tried his best to take you out
  • Your date would be in the middle of the night, around 3 in the morning.
  • It would go well, you both would enjoy it
  • In the date, you would see a new side of Jiyong, Shy smiles and genuine smiles
  • Teasing would be daily, mainly coming from Seungri and YoungBae
  • Your dates would mostly be inside the YG Building, entering the building with the trainees so no one would suspect of anything

Boyfriend ;

  • Getting him to settle down was a hard task
  • He loved you, that for sure
  • So for a long time, you just were kinda of… friends with benefits or something like that
  • Not saying you were both in a relationship, but not denying it either
  • Jiyong is very romantic, he would do little things that made your heart flutter
  • But it was just normal to him and he didn’t really pay attention to it
  • You two would be official when a paparazzi caught both of you on a date
  • He decided it was time to finally take act, he confirmed you guys relationship
  • Something he never did before to his other girlfriends
  • He just wanted to be with you, he really believed that you were the one and all that hate wouldn’t bother you, he wouldn’t let it
  • After a day of the relationship being confirmed, he would write a letter to his fans in his Instagram
  • Thanking the ones who supported his choice and telling the ones that weren’t so positive about it that he deserved to love, that he deserved to have someone in his life like everyone else
  • After the relationship was confirmed, he wouldn’t post pictures of you both on his public Instagram, only on his private one
  • You also would have an Instagram
  • Jiyong would like to make hidden messages in pictures of you both, wearing something that you wore and even something that were very easy to see
  • The hate would stop as time passed
  • Some fans were expecting you both to break up, but that wouldn’t be the case
  • Time passed and passed, and your relationship would hit 5 to 6 years
  • All that time, Jiyong treated you like a queen
  • He would go on dates at day, not really caring much about paparazzi anymore if they wanted to take pictures, let they take
  • It would just be confirming he didn’t plan to break up anytime soon
  • He would meet your parents at the 2 years of the relationship, not wanting to keep avoiding they anymore
  • Would also introduce you to his parents who would gladly accept you without hesitation
  • Because well… Jiyong never introduced his girlfriend to his parents
  • Also, writing you songs would be a thing, and he wouldn’t put these songs to the public, they are only for you to hear
  • Loves skinship or any affection, it’s like he craves they and never gets tired
  • Going with you to your friend’s parties even if they don’t know your friend because YOU’RE going
  • Death glares anyone that checks you out or stays more than 10 seconds looking
  • Gets easily jealous, but when he gets jealous over these little things, he just sulks to himself and just gets over it quickly
  • Fights wouldn’t happen often, they were really rare
  • But when you two fought it was really intense, something serious would have happened
  • Jiyong often knows what he did wrong and apologizes
  • So that’s why
  • These intense fights would lead to rough sex as apologies, marking your body possessively with his teeth marks and hickeys
  • He would be more into Lovemaking
  • But could get very kinky if you wanted to, he would put your pleasure before his, he always did this every since the first time you two had sex
  • If there were kids into your family, Jiyong would be all over they, he loves kids
  • Talks often about having kids but doesn’t push you if you’re not ready, also wants to create music for a little more before fully settling down with you
  • He thinks about marriage often but never tells you
  • When he first thought about it, he put a really long time thinking, would ask your parents that he wished to marry you, but not now, just to get their blessing so he could stay more relaxed
  • When he goes to variety shows, you always are brought up, he doesn’t hesitate to talk about you anymore
  • It’s public, it’s been long since you two are dating and people are already used to it
  • His fans grew up and accepted you, happy that you were making Jiyong shine more than he did already

Marriage ;

  • He was really excited and wanted to get married quickly
  • It was time, he was already at the age where he wanted to settle down completely and start a family before he got too old
  • He proposed in public, he wasn’t afraid of people seeing or hearing him declare his love for you
  • He would just show up with your whole family in a street of Seoul, get on his knees and ask for you hand
  • That would be the topic on the internet for days
  • YoungBae married first, and Jiyong wanted to quickly follow behind
  • He didn’t do it because he wanted to quickly follow YoungBae, he just wanted to finally claim you as his wife
  • It would be an expensive wedding, he wouldn’t save any money, he wanted to show your parents, his parents and you guys family that he would give his all in this relationship
  • It was no surprise that Jiyong wanted to have a baby quickly, he said that all the time
  • Your honeymoon would be in Japan, and of course, Jiyong would talk about having a baby now that you guys were married
  • If you accepted he would get right into it
  • Let’s just say that in less than 4 months you were already pregnant, he really didn’t give you a break when you accepted to carry one
  • While you were pregnant he would be a bit protective
  • Doing your chores for you, it would get a bit annoying how he would be all over you
  • But he only wanted you to not stress, because that could turn bad for the baby like the doctor said
  • He would be there for all the check-ups
  • Also, would take pictures of the baby bump and posting it on his child Instagram
  • When you guys discovered the gender, you two would quickly jump into thinking about names
  • Just after the moment the name was decided, Jiyong created an Instagram for his child, posting your baby bump
  • Till’ the day it was born
  • Would cry when he got to hold the tiny baby he and you created, he had been waiting and wanting for this to happen for so long and now
  • His baby was there in his arms, so small and fragile
  • After the nurses got the baby to weight and height him he would quickly move to your side
  • Kissing your forehead and wiping your sweat
  • He could imagine what you went trough to bear his child, you guys child and wanted to care about you
  • Let’s be honest, Jiyong would spoil his child
  • He practically would buy the whole clothe store for his child and all the toys they looked to
  • You would have to stop him from giving your child everything
  • If they cried in the middle of the night and he was there, he would be the one to quickly move to his kid side and try to calm they
  • Would love to take family pictures
  • Your mornings would be you preparing you guys food after you did the baby’s
  • And Jiyong feeding the baby, with a big smile on his face while he played around a bit with his kid
  • The kid was the most precious thing to him in his eyes
  • After he married, he stopped doing so much work and stayed with you more and more
  • You and he would get numerous invites to appear on ‘Return of Superman’
  • I think he would accept it so he could show that he was a great father and that he could take care of his kid alone
  • Would also be a form of him spending more time with his kid and making their first word ‘appa’ and not ‘eomma’
  • Matching outfits with your kid would be something he would do all the time
  • Jiyong would be a great father in general, always loving his kid
  • Wants more kids after his current one becomes 5 years old if you want, he wishes for a big family
  • But please, watch jiyong he can be a bit immature from time to time and fight playfully with his own kid

B99 + Apartment AU: in which Jake, Charles, Rosa, and Amy live together while attending the police academy.

  • They technically see each other every day at training, but they all still try to hang out together once a week. (Usually movie nights, occasionally game nights, sometimes with alcohol, always in pajamas.) 
  • Charles offers to make dinner for all of them some time during their first week together. – He makes a dish involving bull testicles and is never allowed to cook for them again. (He’s still allowed to make hot cocoa though, which Jake asks for every time he comes home with a bruise.) 
  • Amy dies a little on the inside every morning Jake sleepily pads into the kitchen, hair still messed up from sleep and voice still a bit hoarse. 
  • The smoke alarm goes off almost every time Amy attempts to cook something. 
  • The number of times Amy has thought about just walking over to Jake’s room and kissing him senseless is  r i d i c u l o u s.
  • Rosa has at least three extra locks on her door, and none of the others have seen the inside of her room. (After catching Gina sneak out of there the morning after their graduation, Jake bribes her into telling him exactly how it looks like.) 
  • Jake somehow manages to leave various articles of clothing everywhere, and this annoys Amy to no end. (Partly because each rumpled shirt just makes her think about what it would feel like to tear his clothes off herself.)
  • Amy puts a calendar on their fridge and implements a cleaning schedule, with the chores all divvied up between the four of them. Jake complains very loudly about this at first but later has a ton of fun dancing around their living room while vacuuming and scream-singing Taylor Swift songs.
  • Charles regularly helps Rosa with her texting game. (Amy tries to contribute at some point, but her offer to proofread messages is quickly shot down.) 
  • From her room, Amy hears the door slamming closed followed by the sound of muffled voices and giggling. She peaks her head out a bit, and her stomach lurches when she catches a blur of bodies making their way toward Jake’s room. She crashes at Kylie’s that night because the walls in their apartment are thin, and she doesn’t want to hear a thing. (It’s a drunken one night stand that doesn’t come to anything because the girl’s apparently in law school studying to be a defense attorney.) 
  • Charles and Rosa do yoga together on Sunday mornings. They try to get Jake and Amy into it, but Jake just makes a joke out of everything, and Amy becomes weirdly competitive about it. 
  • Jake once woke everyone up at an ungodly hour because he had been watching a nature documentary and yelling over the grossness of live births. He since then has been banned from watching nature documentaries past midnight. 
  • Every so often (more and more frequently as time passes), Jake and Amy find themselves sitting on the floor of their living room way past 2 am, just talking and laughing. (Charles and Rosa can hear them from their rooms, but neither of them say anything about it.)  
  • Through the wall between their rooms, Rosa can hear Amy creepily singing songs before each big test/evaluation at the academy. The third time this happens, Rosa knocks on Amy’s door and stays with her until she’s calmed down. (”You’ll do great. Stop stressing, dum-dum.”)
  • Jake runs out of shampoo and doesn’t want to dig through Charles’ erotic shampooing kit, so he sneaks into the girls’ bathroom and steals a bit from the first bottle he sees. (Turns out it’s Amy’s, and it drives him nuts that he smells like her the whole day. Amy somehow doesn’t notice, but Rosa threatens to castrate him if he ever enters their bathroom again.) 
  • Charles likes to blast show tunes while doing chores or cooking large meals (or doing anything, really). They’ve all had front row seats to his renditions of choice songs from Oliver, Annie, and Cats. 
  • Amy’s usually pretty neat, so Rosa is shocked to enter her room to find nuts all over the floor… and on her shirt, and in her hair, and somehow on her bed a few feet away. (”Jake said I couldn’t catch any of these with my mouth, so I’m just-” “Don’t care. Call me if you grab each other’s asses.”) 
  • Jake’s been thinking of asking Amy out for ages, but he’s too afraid of the potential fallout. Both Charles and Rosa try to talk him into doing something about his feelings.
  • Amy once catches Jake coming out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around his waist. Needless to say, all work was forgotten that evening, and she had to take a long shower herself. 
  • It’s during one of their 3 am heart-to-heart convos that Jake and Amy finally kiss, and they don’t end up sleeping until the sun starts to rise. When Amy comes out of Jake’s room close to lunch time (donning one of his checkered shirts, because her pajama top is nowhere to be found), she finds a spread of various aphrodisiacs (courtesy of Charles) and a box of condoms (courtesy of Rosa) on their dining table. 

Shout out to @peraltiagoisland, @elsaclack, @dogworldchampion, @stardustsantiago, and @tiadorable for letting me yell about this AU and helping me come up with these headcanons!!!!!!!!

teen wolf as dads

derek hale

Originally posted by stilessderek

  • intimidating dad
  • “i want my daughter home by exactly 9 pm. are we clear on that?”
  • kind of distant / doesn’t talk much
  • not really the greatest at expressing his love for his children
  • but his kids know he loves them unconditionally anyway
  • doesn’t engage his children in the supernatural part of life
  • acts as his kids’ bodyguard
  • even as adults, his kids are afraid of incurring his wrath
  • hot dad
  • all his kids’ friends are shook over how his age compares to his beauty

liam dunbar

Originally posted by apollosdawntreader

  • overprotective dad
  • takes his father role very seriously
  • “always look both ways before crossing the road, okay?”
  • “dad, i’m 19.”
  • tries to be strict about going to school and getting good grades
  • because he doesn’t want his kids to suffer like he did in school
  • tries to act mature for his age but is low-key a child at heart
  • braggy dad
  • tells strangers at the park about all of the great things his kids have accomplished
  •  posts videos and photos of his kids all the time on facebook

kira yukimura

  • awkwardly adorable dad
  • trys to be cool
  • trys to keep up with the slang
  • probably will say “dope” in 2029
  • will definitely dab on her children without having any idea what a dab is
  • burns the bbq at the pool party and scraps it off without anyone seeing before serving it to guests
  • hiker dad
  • nature! camping! animals! trees!
  • builds a house in the middle of the woods
  • installs glass panel walls in her house so she gets that sense of being “one with nature”

theo raeken

Originally posted by wolfiehunters

  • life coach dad
  • “there’s a lesson for everything”
  • after all he’s been through, he’s become a super reflective person
  • charming dad
  • that smile can lure in even those super mean principals and get his kids out of suspension
  • “you’re not mad at us?”
  • “no. because i know that you know that what you did was the wrong thing to do and that you won’t make that mistake again.”
  • mechanic dad
  • can fix anything his kids break and not get upset at them
  • basically, he just wants to raise his kids so they don’t end up like him as a teen
Why Atypical is Crap- from an Actual Autistic Person

In case you dont already know Atypical is a hot load of garbage (although this shouldn’t really come as a surprise considering how wonderfully Netflix has dealt with mental health in the past) here is my personal run through.  

This is dedicated to the 100 beautiful porn bots that follow my blog, I’m sure you’ll all appreciate this. If any actual autistic people find this though (and if you manage to read through all this crap), I’d appreciate your pov as well since i probably won’t even cover a tenth of what’s wrong (esp considering I’ve only watched the first episode, but take this as first impressions, if you will). 

  • Apparently autism is synonymous with stupidity, but this isn’t much of a surprise since this has become the sweet new meme among edgy 4chan users. 
  • Autistic people are completely gullible and lack any critical thinking whatsoever
  • Only white straight cis men can be autistic (only). It doesn’t matter they are primarily the only demographic shown with autism and this has been the state of things for far too long, or that we desperately need representation for autistic people who are poc, women or lgbt+ (especially considering that girls are frequently misdiagnosed to the point that some medical professionals- medical professionals- refuse to diagnose girls with autism at all, or that many poc struggle to get a diagnoses or even a review because of racist teachers or psychologists)
  • He’s tech savy bc we all know that if he wasn’t interested in computers he wouldn’t be autistic (though i can say that i do appreciate the fact his main special interest is biology and the antarctic, although it still follows the same STEM stereotype)
  • His sister constantly bullies and makes fun of his symptoms (but she defends him against other people so it’s okay) dad can’t relate bc he doesn’t play sports and just generally acts like he hasn’t realised or got over the fact that his son’s autistic (despite living with him for what? 17 yrs???), mum is a typical Autistic Mum™ who is burdened with her godawful son, both parents heavily imply life would be better without him. Not to mention the mother is v. paranoid about him having any kind of independence, bc he ‘can’t survive without them’They have stereotypical Autistic Family™ down to an art, congratulations Netflix for being so revolutionary, because god forbid autistic people actually have a supportive family or group of friends that dont constantly make fun of them and emphasise how much they make their lives a burden. (btw, im not saying that every autistic kid’s family has to be perfect; but their family could  at least treat them with some dignity and not do what every other ableist show has done)
  • He has zero self awareness, and of course he can’t date or do anything well without being heavily dependent on a nt. (Can I also emphasise that im not saying autistic people dont have these symptoms, just that they are used so often that its a huge stereotype and is portrayed as a crude caricature) 
  • He can’t date what a surprise never seen that one before netflix we already know autistics are r*t*rds that can’t date of course they can't 
  • The stupid as fuck instance when his psychiatrist asks for his brain??? How did they think that was ok?? (and even if it was, it’s totally impractical and ignores the fact that there are plenty of older -and already dead- autistic people who are, you know, not 60+ years away from dying
  • He can only ever talk about his special interest because autistics never talk about anything else you know never. 
  • ‘i can see your bra’ ??? (again, caricature)
  • there’s so much that bugs me but its hard to articulate sometimes so again, if there’s an autistic person who has seen this crap and has something to add i’d really appreciate it.
  • also apparently it was written by non-autistic people (am i surprised??) and the cast isn’t autistic. I dont think i have to go into how fucking stupid this is, considering it’s A STORY ABOUT BEING AUTISTIC AND NO ONE WHO HAS WORKED ON IT IS AUTISTIC. How the fuck do people think making this shit was a good idea?? 
  • ‘every time the phone rings’ (suchhhh a burdennnn, he’s not the same as themmm)
  • Sam is another Sheldon
  • The thing i hate the most about the show is the level of condescension. I feel like the protagonist is presented as the same caricature, straight white guy who is afraid to talk to girls, nerdy and smart but without an ounce of independence, never speaks up for himself and is a collection of all the stereotypes we’ve seen before, he lacks any nuances what so ever. He is another autistic character written by neurotypical people.
  • apparently also their only form of research was talking to autistic kids (bc you know we’re so r*t*rded that we’re all the same, regardless of age) and parents
  • Autism Speaks supports it, I don’t think I need to continue. 

Ok, but all this other stuff isn’t even that infuriating because, you know, we’ve seen it so many times before it’s just laughable. But they crossed a fucking line (and I’m not joking with this one) when they decided that it was ok to use one of my favourite fucking bands in their shit tv show. I’m always going to be reminded of this crap whenever I listen to them again, Netflix, and I’m fukcing pissed its not fucking acceptable. fuck. you.

I feel like I’ve covered most of the things I had problems with, but again I’d love if other autistic people could add on to the discussion (neurotypicals are welcome to reblog)

✨Ddlg is ableist as fuck✨

A lot of people have already addressed how Ddlg is harmful to minors (which it is) but I wanna talk about how Ddlg is also harmful to the disabled.

🐲 it sexualizes and mocks speech impediments (wike when wittles twype wike this)
🐲it sexualizes adult diapers, which some people have to wear for medical reasons.
🐲it sexualizes age regression, which many trauma survivors with ptsd do as a non sexual healthy coping mechanism.
🐲it makes autistic people afraid to go in the sfw tags for their special interests
🐲some autistic people stim with pacifiers, which ddlg sexualizes.
🐲it fetishizes the platonic relationships between the mentally ill and their caregivers, since many mentally ill people still need their caregivers to do things a parent would do for their small child
🐲many daddy doms fetishize and target autistic people because they see us as “weak and already childish”
🐲daddy doms often make their littles falsely adopt autistic traits to make them act more “childish,” this is fetishistic and disgusting.
🐲feel free to add onto this

edit: I’ve changed it from “autistic kids” to “autistic people,” since people have pointed out that it’s bad to refer to all autistic people as children.

2

Ljuba Prenner (1906-1977) was a Slovenian writer and lawyer. He* was baptised as Amalija Marija Uršula but started calling himself Ljuba early in childhood. In high school, he got a short men’s haircut and started wearing men’s clothes. Because of his gender (presentation) he had to work a lot harder than his peers to pass and had to transfer high schools several times all while supporting himself, but he persisted and moved to Ljubljana to study law after graduating high school in Belgrade. He got his PhD in law in 1941, and started working with the National Liberation Front, saving Slovenian prisoners from Italian prisons and concentration camps based on a fake law he made up, until Germans caught him. He fought for justice his whole career and was very passionate about saving people from death sentence and staged trials. His progressive political views often clashed with authorities and he was banned from practising law for seven years, expelled from Slovenian Writers’ Society, banned from writing, and sentenced to a working camp for two years.

Despite the problems he encountered as a writer, he published a lot of short stories, children’s stories, and had two theater plays and an opera libretto staged. He also went down in history as the author of the first proper Slovenian detective novel (allegedly written on a bet). He also wrote first person (using masculine grammatical gender) love poetry for his lover. He loved art and was friends with many important artists of the time.

Little is known about his romantic life. He lived with maths professor Slavica Rems, who also kept a lot of his unpublished manuscripts, and was later close with teacher Štefka Vrhnjak. They wanted to grow old together, but Štefka died of cancer which broke Ljuba’s heart. He met Štefka’s niece Marija Mrzel Krenker and her family at the funeral and started spending a lot of time with them, eventually moving in and living with them as a family member. Jerca Mrzel, one of the daughters, says that the kids saw Ljuba as a father figure and referred to him as “striček” (uncle).

He was known for facing prejudice with a good sense of humor. His legal assistant recounted a story of him entering the office on the first day of work in a new legal firm with a batch of kremna rezina cakes, saying, “I’m Dr. Ljuba Prenner, not a man nor a woman and I brought you cakes so that you can treat yourselves.” (“Jaz sem dr. Ljuba Prenner, ne moški ne ženska, tukaj imate torte in se posladkajte.”) There is only one known written account of him talking about his gender presentation in a letter, saying, “Wearing trousers makes living easier for me, I suffer in skirts, and God only knows why that is. I was afraid of being myself for years, but I am myself now, and people have finally stopped paying it any mind.” He also famously responded to rumours and slander saying, “Anyone who talks behind my back is talking to my ass.” (“Kdor za mojim hrbtom govori, se z mojo ritjo pogovarja.”)

He died of cancer aged 71, nursed through his final months by the Mrzel family.

_____________________________________________________________

*I use he/him pronouns for Ljuba, because one of his step daughters confirmed that he referred to himself in masculine grammatical gender among friends, and allegedly also in letters to them (but those have not been published yet). It is also possible that his chosen name was Ljubo (masculine) and not Ljuba (feminine) but since all sources that I have found insist on calling him Ljuba (and most a woman) it’s hard to tell.

anonymous asked:

what particular things do you look for when trying to spot cognitive functions in people? Like what are the tell-tale signs for each of the cognitive functions? I already read about them to death but it's hard to spot them without knowing real life examples of each type.

How to spot cognitive functions in real life

Extraverted Functions

If you see these traits strongly displayed in someone’s behavior, it’s quite likely that it’s their dominant or auxiliary function. These are more easily observable and they’re what I’d notice first when interacting with someone.

Ne: “The Mind Jumps” - NPs

  • They seemingly jump from one topic to another without obvious connection or interrupt you to say completely unrelated things because something you said reminds them of something else. (Note: this is easier for me to recognize because my Ne is quite strong and I can understand connections behind the ‘mind jump’ other Ne users do.)
  • Some NPs are aware of this and will start with “This is completely unrelated, but…”
  • They see multiple possibilities and tend to talk in terms of possibilities and use hedging even if they sound confident: “maybe…”, “it’s probably…”, “usually…”, “pretty much”
  • They act younger than their age and come off as playful, childlike, and silly.

Te: “The Commands” - TJs

  • They talk in direct, commanding statements.
  • They use very few hedging, and they won’t turn a sentence into a question unless they actually want to ask a question (i.e. they won’t add “right?” at the end of a sentence or have an upward intonation, or say “don’t you think so?”, etc).
  • There’s an intensity about them. They easily come off as intimidating.
  • They are not afraid to stare people down when they talk.

Fe: “The Warmth” - FJs

  • Usually very smiley and pleasant throughout the conversation.
  • They feel ‘warm’ and accommodating when you interact with them.
  • They naturally show socially appropriate non-verbal behaviors, e.g. laughing at a joke because someone told a joke, even if it wasn’t that funny; saying “aww” or make sad faces when you share your disappointment at something, etc.
  • They tend to reciprocate actions, mood, and tone of the person they’re interacting with.
  • Likely to be uncomfortable with silence because they don’t know what to mirror.

Se: “The Alertness” - SPs

  • You can tell from their eyes. Se dom/aux have the most attentive look in their eyes. They’re so present and right there noticing everything in the environment. It’s more of a wild, open and alert look, as oppose to Te intense intimidating stare.
  • They’re quite easily distracted by things that are going on around them. They will look in the direction of a small noise mid-conversation, or to look at someone entering a room or a bird flying past.
  • (INTP-specific) I tend to have a zoned out look when someone is talking, and it’d be Se dom that asked me the variety of “are you there?”, “are you still following me?”, and occasionally glance behind them to see what I’m looking at (when I’d actually be zoning out).

Introverted Functions

You can mostly see these through the content of what someone says. Again, these are clearer as someone’s dominant or auxiliary function.

Ti: “The Analysis” - TPs

  • Ti dom/aux analyze how everything works. NTPs are more theoretical and STPs are more factual, but there will be many analysis, calculations, and speculations.
  • They tend to be impartial, preferring facts and logical explanations.
  • They like to ask for clarifications, to categorize and define things in more precise terms.
  • They may stop talking mid-conversation, look down to analyze something in their mind (possibly to find the most succinct vocab), then perk up to talk again.
  • They want to “know” and tend to like reading.

Si: “The Extraordinary Memory” - SJs

  • They tell stories based on events in the past in vivid details. These details tend to be descriptive observable facts (where they were, what the place looked like, how did they get there, who was there, what did they wear, what did each person did), as opposed to nuances/mood/atmosphere.
  • They are amazing at remembering people’s names and information.
  • They can tell the same stories and jokes over and over again for years.

Fi: “The Feels” - FPs

  • They are brimming with “feels”. You can see it. Stories they tell are usually personal and filled with personal opinions. You can see that those are real and meaningful to them, and they are personally attached to what they say.
  • They readily take a moral stance and can have a hard time understanding how someone could take a different standpoint.
  • They tend to “show off” their values quite a bit, which can make someone with different values feel uncomfortable, e.g. a vegan Fi-user may advocate it so much and make others feel guilty about eating meat, a humanitarian Fi-user may talk highly of themselves for helping other people, or a libertarian Fi-user may tell various stories to show how uninhibited they are and how unthinkable it is to live conservatively.

Ni: “The Future Predictions” - NJs

  • Ni is extremely hard to observe externally. Ni users tend to mention “following their guts/instinct”, but they don’t readily share that fact unless you’re close to them.
  • They tend to have a 5-year or 10-year or 20-year plans and goals for the future. They like to know where they’re going in life.
  • They like to envision the most likely future path with people or situations.
  • An example: My INTJ best friend told me about an older single mom who flirted with him. He said that he didn’t like her personality and wasn’t attracted to her physically. Then, he also mentioned that he’d like to focus on his career for the next 10 years and taking care of her kids would distract him from his goal, which prompted me to ask why he would think about a future with her if he didn’t like her to begin with, and he said he does this naturally with everything.
  • Another example: The same INTJ changed jobs twice, and both times he left his old workplace even before he got a confirmation that he was hired at the new job. He said he just knew instinctively that he was going to get accepted at this company (he went to about 10 interviews during the same time period).

p.s. Also, check out my other post on how to type people.

-eilamona
[ MBTI Merch ]
10

one ben/leslie moment per episode → 4.08

8

Hi guys it’s me again


I’m Lynn 19 years old Thai girl who hate doing sports until Yuri!!! On ice changed my life.

I’ve finished my first figure ice skating competition last week and it was Amazing!
I got 2 gold medals one from my solo program and another one from jump and spin team with my girl friend
Can’t believe this happened to me😭😭

First time I watched YOI make me really wanna do Figure skating even I don’t like to do sports but I decided to become a Figure skater at this age//sound a little bit too late but shit I do what I want ⛸⛸

I never thought it’d be easy but shit this’s hard😂

I was afraid of Ice in my first month of training but my coach always cheered me up until I can skate on the ice with out shaking

I’ll skip about my training cause it’s too long and so boring af all about i fall I cry I thought I shouldn’t doing this i feel bad because im the oldest student here who fuking suck someone at the rinks talking shit about me cause im suck blah blah my muscles hurt so bad cause ive to straight my legs blah blah blah just skip it

After 7 months my first competition was started
I wasn’t thinking im gonna win but i do did my best. When I finished my program I ran to the score board and BAM 💥 i screamed like someone is step on my feet 😂😂😂 omg im at the 1st place.
My coach was pretty proud of me so are dad, girlfriend, friends who always help me

My first competition was CMIceskatingseries2017 It was a small competition but it’s a good start
//BTW Ive meet a lot of skaters from the same rink as Pichit-kun OMG THEY ARE SO FUKING GREAT

Isn’t it wonderful how the Anime can inspired you to do a new thing, get a new experience that you never think of before
I know im not gonna go far as Yuri im too old and start too late for GPF or Olympic but i can still have fun with another competition and have fun with Figure skating
I may just do Figure skating cause i was inspired from Anime at first but now i can say i do love this sport so much

Thanks Yuri!!! On ice for changing this fan girl life

Thanks you for reading
And yes We were born to make history

XOXO

Ps. These are some pictures from the program
Woman in the last picture is my coah

youtube

All right, hear me out: I am so proud of Dorian Pavus.

This is a man who used to live in a lie. A man who had to act all the time and love himself because noone else would. A man who had to guard his emotions because at best he was a port in the storm. A man who was thought that what he is and how he feels is deviant and shameful and it must be hidden. A man who was afraid of dancing with his beloved because what will people say? A man who was afraid to hope for more and didn’t want to talk about the future in case everything goes to hell as it always did before.

But he has so much love in himself. So much strenght that keep him going. And when he finally finds his place Dorian makes such a wonderful progress. He has friends. He has plans. He’s happy. And I believe he will change Tevinter for better. Because who else if not him?

I am so freaking proud of Dorian Pavus.

Last night I had a long talk with my sister, Alexis. She asked me how it feels to be 28 and I confessed that I’m kind of just ready for 30. I told her that 10 years ago, 30 seemed completely geriatric to me and I was in no hurry to get there, but now that I’m at the threshold of a 3rd decade, I realize how young this still is. I grew up watching a lot of people sort of hit a ceiling in their 30s. Watching people I looked up to burnout or max out so prematurely was terrifying, but when I think about myself, my ceiling is still so high above me. I’m not settled yet. I still have so much to do, to see, to make, to influence. I’m not afraid of getting older, because older for me has never been a destination. Age is just a vehicle.

Later in our conversation we talked about somethings I’m still trying to heal from. And in that conversation I learned from her that I’m not a woman who can have her “ho card” or “whistle” pulled. I’ll spare the details, but I feel good about that going into this new year. I can’t be shaken or knocked off my square. I can’t be manipulated or dominated. I’m solid. I’m steadfast. I’m not easily broken. That’s gotta be the theme this year.

Last thing, photo shoots on the night before I turn another year are gonna be a thing Lex and I do forever. 💚

You Think They Are Falling For Someone Else

Warnings: Cursing, self-doubt/insecurities, angst

Rick Grimes

It wasn’t difficult for you to understand. Rick was spending a lot more time with Michonne now that they worked together in Alexandria. But the more nights you were left alone for dinner, the more nights you wondered whether or not the stories of what Deanna wanted were true.

Every time Rick got home late, he blamed it on the fact that Deanna needed him and Michonne to consult with about an upcoming plan or project. However, lately it seemed like Deanna was needing him much more often.

You weren’t one to usually jump to conclusions. If you were worried about something, you would talk it out. But this time, you couldn’t bring yourself to bring it up around your boyfriend. You trusted him, and you didn’t want to confirm your suspicions. At the same time however you realized that if you didn’t bring the topic up it would only make it worse. Ignoring it won’t make it go away.

Negan

“Negan?” You say, knocking on the door that lead to his room.

“Come on in,” came Negan’s voice from inside. You pushed the door open to find him sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at you and smiling. “Well lookie here. What are you doing here Babygirl?” His nickname for you sent a pleasant shiver up your spine.

“I just wanted to see you. I feel like we haven’t talked in awhile.” You told him, sitting next to him on the bed. It had only been a couple of days, but it felt like forever. Although he didn’t know it, you had fallen in love with him. The constant flirting and name-calling certainly didn’t help either, especially when you knew it was only because you were friends.

“Shit Babygirl, it has been a while, hasn’t it?” He said, staring off wistfully. “I’m sorry I haven’t been making enough time for you. I’ve been too damn busy.”

“I know. I can’t even imagine what it would would be like, running a place like this. The stress must be crazy.” You say, leaving out the idea that maybe you could help him run the place, by his side.

“It can get pretty fucking tough,” said Negan as he looked at the ground. Then he smirked, “I do have some smokin’ hot wives that help out with de-stressing though.” Negan let out a loud laugh, rumbling deep in his chest. You faked a laugh alongside him. Although you vowed to never let anybody but yourself know, in that moment your heart broke a little bit more. Every time he mentioned his wives, you couldn’t help but feel hurt. All these women, and yet you couldn’t compare to any of them. Every single one he had chosen over you.

“I’m actually off to meet one of them right now. I’ve had a stressful day, if you know what I mean.” Negan chuckled again, never his signature mix of a smile and a smirk as he got to his feet. “You’d usually be welcome to stay here, but I’ll probably be back with her soon so I would recommend you leaving.” Said Negan, not noticing how with every word, your world crashed down just a tad bit more.

“Okay,” you said softly, moving towards the door which he had held open for you. You had only one thought as you made your way back to your own room.

Why wasn’t I good enough for him?

Daryl Dixon

You watched as Carol talked to Daryl, him smiling at her words. Daryl was a man of few smiles and even fewer laughs, so when he chuckled after she whispered in his ear, it broke your heart. Before, you had been one of the few people at the prison to really make him laugh. Now, it seems like she was doing a pretty fine job herself.

She said something to him, smirking, and he nudged her in return. Watching from across the yard, you were still able to see how happy they both were. How playful they were being. And damn, did it hurt.

You had fallen in love with Daryl. Slowly but surely, with every run you guys would go on together you fell. Little things about him would stand out to you, like the way he hid behind his hair when he was nervous or the way his accent stood out more whenever he showed more emotion. Little things you grew to love about him; little things you already were beginning to miss about him. You knew he would never feel the same, yet you still let yourself fall for him. Clutching a small glimmer of hope that he might someday end up falling in return.
Watching him laughing and joking with Carol, you felt that glimmer shatter into a million fragments and get blown away in the breeze.

Glenn Rhee

You had thought that the farm would be a miracle. Upon arrival, you noticed the abundance of food, water, and land surrounding you. You had thought that maybe this would be the place you could settle down in this new world. You had thought that perhaps you would even be able to start a family there, because it was safer than the camp. All the thoughts crushed when you saw the people already living there.

Although they were all so kind, there was one that stuck out to you. One farm girl who seemed nicer than the rest. One that seemed like a pure ray of sunshine who wanted only the best for everyone. Maggie Greene. And you weren’t the only one who had noticed her. Your best friend did too. Glenn noticed her flawless skin and beautiful hair. He saw how kind she was, how funny she was.

Everything you weren’t.

You had been friends with Glenn since before the apocalypse, meeting at a party one night through a mutual group of friends. Although against your better judgement, you fell for Glenn. You knew that you shouldn’t and that it would always end in heartbreak, but your heart refused to let you not fall. Every time you saw him your love grew, and when you were apart you missed him more and more. You were able to find him after shit hit the fan, but you couldn’t keep him.

Even though Maggie was stealing your man from you, taking him on runs and inviting him to help with dinner, you couldn’t be mad at her. It wasn’t as if he was truly yours in the first place. You were merely a friend, maybe a best friend. Either way, he didn’t belong to you. But if he didn’t belong to you, why did it hurt so bad?

Abraham Ford

Hey Abraham,” you say to your friend as you let yourself into his house. 

“Oh, uh, hi Y/n.” Said Abraham, for once sounding nervous. Although you had come in unannounced many mornings before, the worst thing that had happened was you walking in on him shirtless. And really, that wasn’t all that bad.

“Sorry, is this a bad time?” You asked, taking baby steps back towards the front door. He had never acted this way around you before. If something was wrong, he would simply say it and the two of you could fix it. It had always been comfortable between the two of you, and perhaps that’s why you had fallen in love with him.

“No, no. This is a fine time.” Said Abraham, an awkward pause following his words. He cleared his throat. “So, uh, how did you sleep?”

“I slept alright.” You replied. It actually kind of hurt that the two of you were acting so uncomfortably. It had always been the opposite, and the stiffness of the conversation worried you. “And you?”

“I slept alright too, I guess.”

“Abraham?” Came a voice from another room before you could make any more awkward small talk. Your heart stopped. It was a girl’s voice.

Abraham made no move to respond, shifting awkwardly in his seat instead. The owner of the voice took this as an invitation to walk into the living room.

“Abraham, do we have any more-” She stopped as she stood in the doorway, making eye contact with you. Standing there brushing her hair, was Rosita.

“Oh, hi Y/n,” She said surprised and rather confused. “What are you doing here this early?”

“I was just leaving,” you say as tears began to well up in your eyes. Luckily your voice didn’t crack as you spoke. There was only one reason you could think of for her to be getting ready at Abraham’s house. Only one reason she would have been there before you, with her brush there and everything. She must have spent the night. And by how comfortable she was getting ready, it must have been far from the first time.

You got up to leave, rushing out the door. Neither party made any move to stop you. As soon as you heard the front door shut behind you, tears began to fall in heavy drops down your face. During all of your time on the road together you had thought that perhaps he liked you back. You had caught him staring at you, only for him to look away when you two made eye contact. When handing you something he always held it for a bit longer than need be, and that way your hands would touch. When you were cold he would let you borrow his jacket, and when you were afraid he let you hide behind him until you could handle yourself better with walkers. All of it apparently meaning nothing to him even though it had meant everything to you. In your mind it had added up to him returning your love. In his mind it had added up to nothing more than friendship.

You let out a loud sob once you made it back inside your own house. You had thought that he was yours, and facing the crushing reality that he wasn’t destroyed you. You sank down to the floor with your back pressed against the front door, pulling your knees to your chest and crying. All the time you had loved him, he had been falling for someone else. Now he had her. And you had no one.

Carl Grimes

Everybody knew that you and Carl had an unspoken thing. Although the two of you had never officially talked about it, you would stay up late talking about anything and everything. From the topic of life’s purpose to the topic of how afraid you were of Teletubbies, the two of you covered it all. He would always stick up for you, rather to somebody who was being rude or a walker. Whenever you were in danger, he was the one who saved you. He was your hero, and you were in love with him.

That all changed when you arrived in Alexandria. When he met Enid.

At first it wasn’t a bad place to call home. There were other kids your age, and although they were a bit sheltered and hard to relate to, they were still teenagers. And after living without many friends your age you warmed up to the group at Alexandria quickly. Sadly, Carl warmed up to them quickly too. Especially Enid.

After all the two of you had been through, he had chosen her. He seemed to be spending more and more time with her, and every time you saw them together you swallowed back tears. You knew now that he must have only been with you because you were his only option. Now that you weren’t, he didn’t need to.

King Ezekiel

“Lady Y/n,” said Ezekiel, making his way over to you as you walked through the Kingdom after work.

“King Ezekiel,” you said, giving him a sarcastic curtsy. He smiled at your actions.

“Have you met Morgan yet? He arrived a few days ago with an injured woman.” Asked Ezekiel, stepping in time beside you.

“I haven’t gotten the chance yet, no.” You reply. “Why do you ask?”

“The woman, Carol, she just came to see me.” Said Ezekiel. “She’s…” Ezekiel paused, trailing off as he thought of the right word. “Something.”

You heard your heart crack. She’s Something echoed in your head.

“Well my King, I’m glad you seem to like her.” You reply, trying to increase the distance between the two of you.

“Me too Y/n, I think her and Morgan will be great assets to the Kingdom. But why address me by my title when you usually use my name? Did I say something to offend you?” Asked Ezekiel kindly, looking into your eyes. You had to try hard to tear your eyes away from his. His big, beautiful, chocolate-brown eyes made you want to melt. But they weren’t meant for you.

“I’m alright, Ezekiel.” You say, making your way back towards your house and away from him. You needed to be alone for a while. “You could always just go talk to Carol,” you say, not being able to hide the bitterness in your tone. You quickly walked in the opposite direction, leaving Ezekiel confused. But you didn’t care. All that mattered now was that the man you had considered to be your true love didn’t feel the same. He had found somebody else. 

Paul “Jesus” Rovia

So,” you said to Jesus, breaking the silence as he drove back to the Hilltop after a long run. “Do you have anything planned when we get back home?”

“Funny you ask.” He replied, keeping his eyes on the road so that he didn’t endanger the two of you.

“And why is that?”

“You know Marina?” He asked.

“The girl who keeps all of the inventory books on vegetables?” You ask in reply for confirmation.

“Yea, that’s the one. She asked if I could meet up with her to talk about something for dinner whenever I got back from this run.”

You only heard three things; she, meet up, and dinner. 

Jesus had a date.

You didn’t say anything in response, letting silence take over the car. You had finally gathered the courage to ask him out, and somebody had beaten you to it. Somebody who was no doubt smarter and prettier than you, at least in your mind. Jesus didn’t question your sudden silence, and you were grateful for that.

As soon as you got back to the Hilltop, you quickly gave Gregory the rundown and bid Jesus a speedy goodbye before rushing to your room. As soon as you closed your door behind you, you felt the tears stream down your cheeks as silent waterfalls, your face scrunching up. Alone in your room, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander.

I never even had a chance

Dwight

Rooming with Dwight after Sherry left him was a no-brainer. He was your best friend, and he shouldn’t be alone in this. Besides, his place was a hell of a lot nicer than yours, as he was higher up in the “food chain” so to speak.

Although at first it seemed like a great idea, spending a lot of time with Dwight, the longer you lived together the more you realized the problem. You were falling for him. You didn’t want to, all you wanted to be was friends. But the heart wants what it wants. The longer you lived with Dwight, and the more times you saw him leave the bathroom shirtless, the deeper you fell for him. To the point that you didn’t want to leave, even though it was what had caused your pain in the first place. Pain because you knew that no matter what, Dwight would never reciprocate your feelings.

Because the longer you lived with Dwight, the longer mourned his relationship. You couldn’t help but feel guilty for liking him. Of course he was still in love with his ex-wife; she was a goddess, and even though she chose Negan over him there was technically no divorce. No way for him to get over this, no way for him to work though it. She would always haunt him. And she would always haunt you.

“Are you alright, D?” You asked one night, another night of sitting on the couch together. Him in a somber silence, you too afraid to ask the harder questions. Tonight you were determined to change that. You were going to talk about Sherry. Dwight stared off into the distance as he answered your question.

“Yea Y/n, I’m fine.” You saw right through his lie, but from now on you wouldn’t ignore it. 

“Bullshit, Dwight.” You said, even surprising yourself a bit at your confidence. Dwight was shocked at your words. He turned to face you,

“What did you say?”

“I said, that’s bullshit.” You say again, not losing your thunder. You were going to ask him about this once and for all. “I know you’re still upset about Sherry. And I don’t want to tell you that it’s wrong to feel that way, because it isn’t. It is perfectly valid, because the love of your life was stolen from you by Negan. I don’t expect you to get over your wife in a day. But I do want you to know that I’m here to talk to. You can’t get through this alone.”

Dwight sat in silence, avoiding your eyes. You grabbed the side of his face to make him face you. You hadn’t realized your closeness, and the sight of his eyes so close made your breath hitch in your throat.

“I’ll always be there for you Dwight. I care for you.” You say, trying to convey your meaning without using the dreaded “L-word”.

“I know, Y/n, you’re my best friend.” He replied.

In a burst of confidence you would soon regret, you closed the small gap between your lips, pressing a soft kiss to Dwight’s mouth. It lasted merely a second, before you jumped up and quickly fumbled to the door. As you were walking out the door you turned and mumbled.

“Maybe I meant more than that.”

You had to get out of there, away from your embarrassment. Hopefully all of this could be resolved quickly, and things wouldn’t be so awkward between the two of you. You couldn’t live without Dwight.


Simon

So,” you say as you sat across the kitchen table from your boyfriend Simon. “I saw you talking to somebody new at lunch today.”

Not catching on the the slight bitterness in your tone, Simon smiled.

“Yea, her name is Kathy. A group of runners found her a while back. She sure can hold her own,” said Simon, not realizing the jealousy on your face.

“Hold her own, huh?”

“Yea, that’s what I said.” Teased SImon before continuing. “She’s been out there on her own for quite a while, just her against the world. She’s definitely been wanting some company. She may be able to handle herself against roamers out there, but when it comes to a social setting she’s totally unequipped. She totally came onto me.”

You tried to hide the hurt on your face. She was flirting you your man. And he was praising her for being able to “hold her own”. When Simon had found you, you barely even knew how to shoot a gun. Without Simon’s help, you were sure you’d be dead.

Did he prefer somebody he didn’t have to lead by the hand?

“I’m not hungry anymore,” you say, putting the leftovers on your plate into a container and putting them away before quickly making your way to the room the two of you shared. You dodged every question Simon asked on the way, hoping he would stay seated, eat his dinner, and forget about your reaction. After you were sure that he hadn’t followed you, you let yourself cry. Only a few tears slipped, but it was enough to make you feel pathetic and helpless. The opposite of the girl you thought he wanted.

Merle Dixon

After the arrival of Andrea in Woodbury, everything had changed. You used to be pretty confident in the fact that Merle liked you back. Although neither of you said anything to each other to make it official, all of the flirtatious lines and late nights the two of you shared had made you pretty certain that he at least to an extent reciprocate your affections.

But then Andrea showed up. The beautiful blonde that Merle hadn’t seen since the beginning of the new world. And he sure was happy to see her again. The flirting he usually saved for you, he split between the two of you. He stopped spending as many nights with you, and you were worried that he was spending them with her now. Although you wouldn’t admit it out loud, you missed him.

But being accustomed to loss in a world like this, you couldn’t dwell. If you held grudges, you died. So you decided to keep your feelings a secret, not letting another soul know. And you were determined to make it stay that way.

Unique Origins Dialogue I Wish We Had:

Brosca & Aeducan: What the fuck are dreams and why is there a dragon screaming at me in my sleep.

Brosca & Aeducan: What do you mean those are stars? What do you mean they sometimes fall??? What about those cloud things? Oh my god why is there water/snow/hail falling on us, what is this misery??? (Also like, I feel like dwarves wouldn’t have experienced being really cold before this? Given the whole, magma filled cave thing.)

Aeducan: I was almost queen/king and I have opinions about heritage and ruling and here’s what I think you should do, Alistair.

Cousland: My family is the second highest ranked in the land other than Loghain and Anora and are heavily involved in the politics of Ferelden and I also have opinions on heritage and ruling and here’s what I think you should do, Alistair.

Cousland: Hey various Arls and Banns, you know my family, who are very respected and I’m now the apparent heir of, let’s talk about that fuck Howe and how we should deal with this civil war.

Mahariel: Humans are very, very weird, and racist, and I find your rituals and politics baffling and offensive.

Tabris: How about we stage a revolution and just get rid of royalty entirely? Side note, how many humans do I get to gut for selling my friends and family members before anyone can stop me.

Amell & Surana: Aaahhhh!!! I haven’t been outside the Tower since I was a child and now you want me to be in charge of things??? My blisters have blisters and everyone we talk to is afraid of me for Andraste’s sake!

Feel free to add more! I definitely will be.

Hellsing & Vulnerability: Alt. How Sad is Alucard?

Gentlemen… I am a nerd.

Case in point: during my lunch breaks, instead of surfing Facebook—something I save for the comfort of my couch—I am on the TED talks website. Nothing makes my day like learning something new; I would take infinite college courses if they didn’t cost a dime, no matter how stressful the workload would be. Give me a lecture on anthropology or ancient history and I am happy as a lark.

Recently, my lunchtime lecture was given by self-proclaimed researcher-storyteller Brené Brown. It was entitled “The Power of Vulnerability”, and I highly recommend you view it [link here], if you’re interested in human nature like I am. Anyway, so I’m sitting there, half-reclined with the door to my classroom locked and fully engrossed in both the video and the sandwich in my hand, when it hits me. I’ve heard of inspiration washing over people like a wave, but when I get it, it’s like an arrow straight to my brain: sudden, unexpected, and I can’t think of much else afterwards.  

My brain sent a single thought through my head, one that made me stop chewing and run it through two or three times to make sure I’d heard it right: Alucard’s greatest fear is vulnerability.

Emotionally, that is.

Well, wait, I countered myself, taking another bite of my sandwich. Who isn’t afraid of vulnerability? It’s sort of a given: we don’t want to let anyone else—who can do harm—into the deepest, most secretive part of our souls. But then, as I thought more, I realized that although we as humans try to hide it, vulnerability also has a little habit of sneaking through.

Humans, as a species, are amazing. My favorite thing to learn about is universal experience. For example, all nations seem to have the odd occurrence where a child’s father tells corny jokes that often fall flat, but are funny because they fall flat. But dad jokes aside, universal experience bleeds into vulnerability like pink on a white dress. You don’t have to know someone’s language to know that they’re smiling because they’re happy, or covering their eyes and cowering because they’re afraid. Body language, facial expression, the look in their eyes—it all goes without saying, no matter who you are or where you’re from. Isn’t that amazing???!

(Clears throat) Since I was supposed to be talking about Hellsing, I’ll use an example from the manga/OVA. Also—do I even have to mention spoilers at this point? It should be assumed, but even so: spoilers!

The scene I’m thinking about is not Alucard, but rather his master. When Walter shows up on the streets of London, dressed in conveniently found leather and sporting some impressive age reducing cream, everyone is astounded. Seras gasps dramatically, Alucard smiles like he always does, the Iscariots go “No, no, don’t step there!” collectively. But what always got me was Integra’s reaction. Not immediately, though she does kind of waste her nicotine on the bloody ground, but afterwards, when Alucard asks her what he’s supposed to do—kind of. That one page became one of my absolute favorites in the manga, and it’s an excellent jumping point for our talk about vulnerability.

See, Hirano didn’t have to say “Oh, she’s super sad. That was her butler and kind of her second dad and now he’s thrown their relationship away to fight another dick also dressed up in leather”. He didn’t need to say it. She says it all without a word in edgewise about it: clenched fists, watery eyes, a tightness in her stance that suggests fighting back tears… she’s in despair. When you see a panel like this, it’s all too easy to remember that she’s a young 20+ woman who just lost the last person she could theoretically call family.

Heartbreaking, but what’s my point? Think about it. She was in the middle of a war, her house is on fire, vampires are trying to bite her, she was unofficially kidnapped and held hostage by a bunch of weirdos working for the Vatican, and she remains calm and cool. Her breaking point only comes when something cuts her to the core, something that she can’t deal with without instantly having to fight against the tears that would show everyone—enemies included— “hey, I’m hurting emotionally, I really need comfort and reassurance.”  

POINT #1: Vulnerability shows when a person feels a pain so great that it strikes a chord within their soul. Remember it, bookmark it: it’ll come back up later.

Another big thing, that I didn’t really think about until Mrs. Brown touched on it, was that the only people who don’t feel shame are the ones who lack the ability to connect empathetically with others. Now, I know you just read that and thought “Wait, weren’t we talking about vulnerability?”, but trust me on this. It’s just another point I’m making.

Now, let me ask you this: What is the defining term between the words psychopath and sociopath? Most people put them on the same lines, but there’s a major, major difference. That term is conscience. Psychopaths lack a conscience. They feel no sense of right or wrong about what they do. They can’t connect with others. Sociopaths, according to experts, have a weak conscience. They feel guilt or remorse, but it’s not strong enough to guide their hand like it might be in the average person’s mind.  

Now, Mrs. Brown found in her research that the underlying cause for shame, for people saying ‘I’m not ___ enough, I don’t deserve love or happiness” is excruciating vulnerability. The people who were ashamed of themselves were also afraid to let their inner selves show to the world. And the only people who don’t feel shame are psychopaths, who lack empathetical connections with others.

Point #2: Sociopaths can feel shame; therefore, they can feel vulnerable. You can probably see where I’m going at this point, right?

Last point: Mrs. Brown, in her findings, talked about something called “numbing vulnerability”. She talked about how humans will try to numb the emotions that they don’t like or agree with, the ones that cause them pain or go against what they consider their morality. Think of monks and nuns giving up pleasures for devotion, that sort of thing. But humans can’t just numb things that make them suffer. When they do, it starts numbing other things, too. You can get rid of shame, of guilt, disappointment, but at what cost? Joy, gratitude, happiness.

POINT #3: Those who chose to fight against vulnerability, become miserable.

Think of the London Blitz, or as I call it: manga catharsis. Everyone—Iscariot, Hellsing, Millennium: they all blew up, shot a man or two, got their emotions out, and if they lived they went on with their lives. SAY THAT I’M WRONG. Out of all the people that could have cried their eyes out there, which one of them did? (looks at camera like the office) Which one of them had a complete screaming, crying meltdown and showed a surprising amount of true vulnerability to a dying man as well as like, fifty other people who were just kind of hanging back and watching it all play out?

It wasn’t Seras, I’ll tell you that much. T_T;

Let’s take our three main points and apply them to the 600-year-old… uh… guy.

Point 1: Why did he have that fit in the first place? Catharsis, I tell you! Anyway, he was angry at Anderson for becoming a… plant thing dude. Ugly. He was mad at Anderson for turning ugly. (coughs) But if we take that point into thought, Anderson’s ugliness—okay, the nail loophole—cut him so deeply that it struck a chord within him, and he couldn’t help but rant and rave against what had happened. And, we can assume that unlike Integra, it went so deeply that he couldn’t stop the tears in time. Why? Because—and this is a bit of conjecture, but I think I can safely say—what Anderson did hit on a source of deep shame for Alucard, shame that he hadn’t been strong enough, brave enough, whatever enough to stay a human and instead became a vampire.

Summation: Alucard has the ability to feel emotions, and these can be forceful enough to provoke a reaction from him.

Point 2: Alucard is, I believe, a sociopath. Prevalent more in the manga, and subtle in the anime/OVA, he does appear to have the ability to connect with others. In the manga, he’s seen joking around with Walter, teaming up with Seras to tease Integra, getting along with Pip in a business-like way, and you can even go so far to say that he has an—albeit unhealthy—connection with both Anderson and the Major. Of course, it’s sometimes possible for people to fake these connections, but I don’t think that’s the case BECAUSE of his breakdown in London.

As stated earlier, to feel shame and vulnerability, to be burdened with emotional pain, is a sign of someone who has morality and can form relationships. Now, that’s not saying he’s a good guy—not at all. As a sociopath, any emotion he feels that gets in the way of his ultimate goal is easily ignored. He might feel guilt, shame, pain, or remorse for his actions, but he simply chooses to do it anyway and probably doesn’t bother to consider it more than a minute or two.

Another example is his and Seras’s little spat in the hotel room. She argues that the people he killed are humans, innocent of anything other than following orders. He shouts at her, yanking her up by the collar and yelling in her face. Then, when she starts to cry, he puts her back down and is more subdued. Now, there’s two ways I look at this: firstly, his expression when he sees her tears. He looks, in the OVA at least, almost shocked that she’s crying, and then seems to rethink his actions. Now, he wasn’t rethinking the killing, per say, but instead he felt something about making her cry. This leads back into the ability to make connections. He felt—bad?—about her tears, so he promptly stopped the offending action and reformed his behavior to something more acceptable: a quieter tone, placing her back on the floor, backing away to give her space. A psychopath wouldn’t care that he’d made her cry, having no emotional connection to her. But Alucard cared enough to stop the behavior, which means that he cared enough about her to at least think “I should not be doing this to this person. Let’s stop and do something else.”

Summation: Per the clinical definition of a sociopath, Alucard has the ability to both make meaningful connections with others. Whether he makes those connections or not is up to him.

Point 3: Throughout the manga/OVA, a close observer can see Alucard fighting against himself—and his emotions. When he dreams about his demise at the hands of van Helsing, he cries in his sleep. However, upon waking he is apathetic about the experience, dismissing it as “a dream; it was nothing”. He feels disgust and anger when a guard kills himself, rather than let Alucard rip him apart while alive. He speaks out against monsters “like me[himself]”, pleading with Anderson to stay human even if it costs him his life. He demeans himself at different times, often in soliloquy or as an undertone to a sentence.

This provokes the question: Does Alucard consider himself worthy of happiness? The answer is probably no, he does not. He shows himself to be very self-critical of his past choices, although he accepts all of them for what they are. However, instead of learning from his past and starting over a new leaf, he remains on the same path of death and destruction. One can assume that he might feel trapped by his own actions, unable to rise up and overcome to begin life anew. This might be why he waits for someone to kill him—a punishment that would, ultimately, free him. This would be a miserable, endless existence, one of self-loathing and an eternal feeling that he is, and always will be, beyond any sort of redemption.

Summation: Alucard’s shame and constant fighting against his own emotions has caused him to turn bitter against the world, as his existence is a cold, bleak realm of misery.

Now for the (deep, echoing voice)

 REALM OF OPINIONS:

If all of the above is true, and can be said about Alucard, here is what I think. Alucard would view his vulnerability as something weak and useless, to be despised and ignored for as long as possible. In short, I think that he would consider vulnerability to be something wholly

human

, and that as a monster he has neither need nor inclination for exposing that side to others. As a human, he was taken at a young age and abused, which set the foundations for what would have otherwise been a happy, healthy adulthood. Surely as a prisoner of the sultan, any weakness would have been mortifying to show to his captors. Even now, as a servant to the Hellsing Organization and British Empire, he would feel it better to hide any emotion that he truly felt behind a mask, so that they could have no ammunition to use against him if the time arose. This does not, however, stop him from at the very least forming a social bond with a few select people, even if they remain outside the field of acquaintances. It is shown through the manga, anime, and OVA that although he walks with both feet in the lawless side of existence, he has the ability to be polite, civilized, work with others, be a teacher, understand the implications of his actions, tease others, even laugh and cry. Despite hating the human part of himself, it is still a core element of his being. I leave you now with questions and thoughts: you are more than welcome to continue the discussion in the comments, PM me, reblog, etc. In fact, if you liked this read, please reblog it so that others can see as well! If Alucard can feel vulnerable, what other situations might he willingly/unwillingly show it? Men are automatically expected by society to be more aloof and emotionless than women, though it is not the case in the slightest. How might this also play a factor in Alucard’s psyche? Is this another part of the reason he loathes himself?If he were ever willing to step back and take a look at himself, or even go to therapy, how would that affect his behavior? As a sociopath, would he make a willing change, or would therapy only further complicate things?


I also want to do a talk that’s more about my fanfiction side of things, which will be coming up VERY soon. I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think! I leave you now, with a quote from the TED Talk that Mrs. Brown gave, that I think sums it up nicely.


But there’s another way, and I’ll leave you with this. This is what I have found: To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen … to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee — and that’s really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that’s excruciatingly difficult — to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we’re wondering, “Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?” just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, “I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive." 

When your parents doesn’t approve them

Anonymous : Reaction where y/n’s parents don’t approve of them?

Namjoon

Namjoon is sad. Family is really important to him. When things got really serious between you two, he wanted you to meet his mother and father almost immediately. It’s essential for him to respect and do whatever his family wants, so he expects the same from your family. Well, if his family accepts you, it’s not the same with yours. Your mother is really reluctant. It doesn’t matter how kind, polite and mature he acts when you’re all skyping together, your mama doesn’t like him. She thinks he’s cold, arrogant and just want to have fun with a foreigner. To top it all, he’s a rapper ! You had to send her his lyrics so she can actually see how poetic he is. It helped a bit, but she still doesn’t want you to date an idol. One day, Namjoon calls her and asks for a real conversation with both of your parents. He wants them to know him better, and learn to trust him. « I don’t care about fame, I don’t act like a thug and I try to do something important with my music. Y/N is my other half so she knows me. And if you know your daughter, you know how smart and intuitive she is. What we got is the most important thing in my life, and I’ll always fight for it. I just hope one day you’ll see me as family… »


Taehyung

The fact that your parents doesn’t approve your relationship upsets him. He understood them at first, knowing how difficult it can be to see beyond the idol, but it’s been months now and they still doesn’t like him. Taehyung feels really sad and does everything he can to be liked by your family. You know it’s important for him so you keep telling them how mature, kind, unique and honest he is. Taehyung can’t stand the fact that they think he just wants to have fun. He’s young but he loves you and can easily imagine you in a wedding dress. He always thinks about a way to convince your parents and sometimes, he’s way too dramatic… « Let’s all go to a trip to my childhood town ! I’ll show them my old house, where my grandma lived… We could walk along the fields, go fishing and spend the nights around the fire… They’ll see how I grew up, they’ll see how humble I am… » You pass your arms around his neck and smile, your voice kinda shaky « I wish they could see you the way I see you… And I’m sure this day will come soon. »


Jin

Jin sighs as he sits on the couch. You sit next to him and pass your hand on his shoulders, overwhelmed by his genuine sadness. You just had dinner with your parents who came to Seoul but it didn’t went like you wanted. Of course, your mom was amazed by his good manners and the way he took care of you during dinner, and she couldn’t stop telling him how beautiful he was (And that was embarrassing…). But your father was not really easy going. He kept asking about his career and projects when « all of this will be over in a few years ». If looks could kill, your eyes would’ve be the last thing your dad would’ve see. Now that you’re home, Jin can whine about everything he wants, and you let him unwind everything ‘till he’s tired enough. You stroke his cheek and smile « You’ve worked so hard baby, and tonight you worked even harder to impress my parents. I love you so much Jin, I’m so thankful to you. Let’s just forget them, okay ? I’m sure one day everything will be alright. Let’s enjoy each other first… »


Hoseok

Hobi is really sad since he has done everything to please them but your parents still doesn’t like him. They’re sure he’s gonna break your heart because of his busy schedule. Not to mention that he’s an idol so he must be full of lies just to please his fans. Tonight, Hoseok invited them to see BTS live for the first time and you’re praying all the Gods for your parents to open their eyes. During the show, you keep looking at them from the corner of your eye. As much as they want to hide it, they’re enjoying it. Your heart is filled with hope (hue hue, see what I did there?) as you guide them to the backstages. You jump to hug him, giving him kisses all over his tired face. You turn around to see what your parents are gonna say to him but they just thank Hoseok and wish you both good night. Hobi is simply discouraged, his jaw clenched hard as sadness invades him. As they begin to walk away, you shout « I can’t believe you ! Do you guys really have nothing to say about him ? Did you see him or did you even avoided him on stage ? » Your mother turn around, her finger on your father’s wrist. They share a look before they both look at hobi « You’re a talented young man… Please, give us some time. » They walk away but this time you don’t want to stop them. You feel Hobi’s arm around your neck and smile as he whispers « I love you Y/N… »


Yoongi

Yoongi knows this feeling too well. How could he blame your parents when his own family didn’t believe in him at first ? This situation brings back some dark memories. Even if you never give up on trying to convince them he’s honest and genuine, Yoongi doesn’t want you to insist. Maybe someday they’ll accept him ? Or maybe they’re right… Maybe he doesn’t deserves you. Yoongi tries to hide the fact that it breaks his heart but it’s getting harder when he sees how much you struggle. One day, as he’s searching for your earphones in your bedroom, he finds a letter with your handwriting on it. He sits on the bed and begins to read. Quickly, he finds it hard to read due to his teary eyes. It’s a letter for your parents. You tell them about him, how you fell in love with him, how he changed your life. You talk about his past, his struggles and the way he went from the darkest place to where he’s now. Your words are perfectly chosen and you don’t tell too much. Just enough to make him feel loved, understood and respected.


Jimin

Jimin gets out the bathroom, shaking a towel on his wet hair. He knows you’re on the phone with your mother but something feels different. He gets closer to your bedroom and his heart stops when he hears your voice. You’re crying. Jimin wants to come in but it seems that you have a really important conversation with your mother. He hates when you’re upset but he doesn’t want to interrupt you. Without a sound, he leans on the wall and waits ‘till you’re done. Unfortunately, he hears everything. « How could you know if he’s able to protect me ? You don’t want to know him ! You avoid him every time he wants to say hi ! » You’re sobbing, your anger boiling in your veins. Jimin clenches his fists, feeling even more angry than you. He hates it when you’re in pain. « Well, thank you for worrying for nothing but I’m perfectly happy, mom. I’m in love, and I’m lucky enough to be loved back by this amazing man. If you don’t want to see the effect he has on your daughter, that’s fine. » You hang up and begin to cry even louder, head on your folded arms. Jimin gets on the bed and puts his arms around you, kissing your head. You look at him and cry even more when you see the tears in his eyes.


Jungkook

« I don’t understand… Did I do something wrong, babe ? » Jungkook is really shocked when you tell him about your parents’ disapproval. He has the right to be. Your parents have no real reasons to act the way they do. They keep warning you about his fame, his young age and all those girls around him. Actually, they don’t even know him, judging him just because he’s an idol. Jungkook wants to talk to them but he’s too nervous. He wants to tell them so many things but he’s afraid of getting too shy and ending not saying what he wants. « I want to tell them my story… Maybe if they know how much I’ve worked to be there… I want them to know I’m not a player. I fought for what I’ve got and I’ve fought for you. You’re my girl, I’m here to protect you, not to hurt you. If I tell them that maybe they’ll see I’m a good man… »

Seb Dating Someone Younger Would Include
Author’s note: Please let it be known that in this instance, by younger, I do not mean dating a thirty-four year old as a fourteen year old as that is wholly inappropriate and also illegal. Also I’m sorry for inconsistent uploads as of late, I’m graduating very soon and I also have a birthday coming up really soon.
___________________________________________

- Him wanting to post pictures of you all the time but he doesn’t because he’s afraid of the backlash that you might get
- You “borrowing” his clothes a lot
- He is very private with your relationship and is hesitant to talk about you in interviews because he’s afraid of the backlash that you may get
- That’s not to say he is ashamed of you in anyway, he loves you deeply and is proud to be dating you, he is afraid of the effects that his “passionate” fans may have on you
- On the occasion that he does talk about you/ posts a picture with you etc, he asks you not to look at it for fear comments would have a negative effect on you
- As much as he denies it, he is slightly insecure you’ll find someone closer in age and that you can “relate to” (his metaphorical words not mine) better and you’ll leave him
- When the two of you go anywhere together in your own car, he drives
- Him taking you to try new things all the time
- Making jokes about the age difference constantly, for example he’d say “back in my day….” and you’d follow up with a “when was that 1842?”
- He is your number one supporter in anything you do
- He takes candid pictures of you all the time
- While he wants to shield you from everything negative that could be said about you, you still see some of the stuff. Sure, it will upset you, the comments on your Instagram or Twitter, but you will always have Seb there to reassure you
- Nose kisses
- He’s the most excepting human ever when it comes to you
- He always tells you how proud he is of you because he remembers what it’s like for a lot of young people and he always wants to make sure you feel validated, loved, and appreciated