but actually completely worth it



Oliver uses the salmon ladder for more than just his health.  »—>

Only Fools Rush In (College!Shawn)

A/N: This has been sitting in my writing folder for quite some time now and I hesitated with posting it because there is so much College!Shawn fanfics on here already and I don’t wanna bore you with this stuff. But because I am a college student and I have recently started a new semester a few ideas popped into my head that may be worth writing about. I hope this is not completely shit and actually worth reading. Enjoy!

Word count: 1,940 (kind of short but I need to know if you like it before I dig in deeper)

“I love you!” I mumbled, the alcohol clearly taking over the control of my words.

“I love you too,” he chuckled.

He didn’t understand how I meant it. He didn’t get it.

“No!” I raised my voice. “I don’t mean it like that. You don’t understand!” The frustration in my voice starting to build up. “You don’t understand!”

“What do you mean?” He was confused and clearly had no idea what was going on.

I sighed and sat down on the pavement completely exhausted. I was utterly worn out after everything that had happened and I just wanted he’d finally see. I pulled my knees up to my chest, put my face in my hands and mumbled “you don’t understand”.

He just sat next to me, put his arm around my shoulders and waited for me to calm down.

“Come on, let’s take you home.”

He picked me up and carried me to his car. After putting on my seatbelt, he climbed onto the driver’s seat and drove away. As soon as we reached the main road the sobbing had already drained the last bit of energy out of me and I calmly fell asleep.

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Speed Date (W/Adam Cole)

Originally posted by shieldgirl95

Here is the second installment of the Speed Date series. Cocky Adam is my favorite Adam to write lol. I wanted to make this one longer but there’s potential for a longer one after the speed dates are over. Thank you for all of the amazing comments on the part <3 It’s probably going to be a few days before I get the next one out but in between that I’m planning to post part 5 of Say You’ll Want Me.

**If you missed the first Speed Date with Kenny Omega it can be found HERE

Tags: @daintymissdevitt @waynscastle @sarahmatthews7 @shadow-of-wonder @happiness-in-reznor @tooweirdforlifex @fan-fiction-galore @omgmissmillie @thedeboniardevistation @jazzytoosweet @mindsetcalamity @alexispoo @mermaidfett @thathpchick @skyrina @laziestgirlintheworld @ang-78 @valeonmars @laigy2213 @squirrel666 @brooklyns-scumbag @megan-monroe @wweximaginesxd @lclb13 @phlebotomyprincess1 @awkward-potato-imagines @effy-christine @pjanina13 @fearlessflawlessdior @wrestlingnoob @fandom-preferences-imagines @superkixbaybay @wrasslin-x @xxmaddhatter39xx @legitlunatic @wrestlingfeels @sleeplessandcynical @cosmicswimming @alexahood21 @betsy-bradock @gypsophil-a @abominablestrowman279

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me, amidst notes for seven new fic ideas and two wips: hey i have another idea

Can I Be Him?

Title: Can I Be Him?
Character(s) Mentioned: Bruce Banner, Tony Stark
Pairing: Bruce Banner x Reader
Genre: Romance
Rating: E (Everyone)
Words: 1,913
Author’s Note: Hello kitties and gentle-cats! Been a long time since I’ve updated, right? Again, I am sorry for that. It’s been really difficult to break through this writer’s block. However, I have managed to finish up this Bruce x Reader songfic that I’ve had on my mind for a while now. I don’t know if it’s any good to be honest. It is shorter than my other stories, but I hope it will entertain you for a brief period. This is based on a song sung by James Arthur titled Can I Be Him?. He apparently won in the X Factor or another competition that Simon Cowell is part of, I don’t know. But you have heard his name but not the song, he is the same singer who sang Say You Won’t Let Go from his Back From The Edge album. It’s a beautiful song that many hopeless romantics can relate to. If you have an opportunity, definitely take a listen to it. Alright, on to the story! Presenting, Can I Be Him?
Summary: Once again, Bruce Banner had found himself dragged into another one of Tony’s parties. He always found these pointless and dull since he never felt participating in random banters or discussions. However, this time became completely different. It could actually be worth coming, because you stepped into the door and into his heart.

Bruce adjusted the white cotton collar of his shirt for the third time as he attempted to keep himself far from the throng of people on the dance floor. Why did he agree to attend Tony’s party again? Oh, now he remembers; he was forced to come. Though he didn’t mind socializing, Banner preferred to be away from the crowds. Maybe if Stark didn’t make this a black tie event, he’d might be more comfortable but tonight wasn’t the case.
Tony had orchestrated this extravagant gala for a new charity he’s organizing, filled with many star studded celebrities, members of the Avengers, and some sponsors behind the organization along with him. Bruce already forgot what the charity was exactly and frankly, he drowns out Tony’s incessant chattering. The physicist sighed deeply, debating if he should call it a night or not. Despite the reprimanding, he knew he would be receiving from his science partner, he took the chance and decided to make a run for it. Banner casually walked towards the bar, Tony leaned against it as he conversed confidently with one of his guests.

“Tony, I’m gonna head out. It’s getting late.” Bruce lied, gesturing to the door over his shoulder.
“What? The party’s just getting started. From what I recall, you don’t have a curfew, grandpa.” Stark quipped, crossing his arms in skepticism. He knew Banner well enough to know when he’s making excuses.
“Well, not everyone can be as energetic as you, Tony.” Bruce replied, sarcastically.
“Just—stay awhile longer,” raising his hands as a gesture to stop him from leaving before he went back to his guest.

The physicist inwardly groaned before he nodded, accepting his suggestion. Now he knows, it was worth staying; the moment you walked into the ballroom. My heart has been stolen, Bruce thought to himself when he noticed your presence by the main entrance.
You glowed with excitement as you gazed in wonder at the surroundings. It was nothing like you’ve ever seen before. The chandelier itself was eye catching, its crystal baubles shining brightly against the light. It felt like the atmosphere filled with your glow the moment you set foot into the festivities and Banner was captivated by you. It was as if your aura brought him back to the time he wasn’t living in a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde novel. He continued to watch you as you scanned the wide room, his senses heightening with a feeling he hasn’t felt in years. Bruce felt like the man he once knew, the man before the Hulk. As if on autopilot, he made his way towards you, like a gravitational pull he was unable to escape.

You walked absent-mindedly, not paying attention to the strangers around you as you walked through the classical architecture of the museum that was rented for the evening. Suddenly, the high heel of your right foot caught the hem of your f/c mermaid gown, causing you to fall on your rear. You silently whimpered from the soreness slowly emerging beneath the skin of your behind. Your cheeks burned red from embarrassment, mentally hitting your forehead for your clumsiness.Thankfully, no one seemed to have noticed it. Well, you believed no one noticed.

“Are you alright?” An older gentleman asked, offering his hand. You paused for a second, captured by the distinguished handsomeness of the person in front of you. You shook your head of such thoughts to answer him.
“Yeah, just bruised my pride. Maybe even broke my butt bone, but I’ll live.” You answered with an awkward smile. You placed your hand in his, the warmth of his palm enveloping yours as he lifted you from the marble flooring.
“I don’t think you broke your tail bone, but your pride, on the other hand…”
“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, though I wish it wasn’t under these circumstances,” You introduced yourself as you laughed from his remark, not realizing you both continued to hold hands.
“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. Bruce Banner.” He replied back.

You both looked down, noticing your hands were still joined. You two chuckled, embarrassed as your hands loosened their grip and fell to your sides. A faint blush rose to your cheeks, you bit your lower lip before you uttered another word. You weren’t too sure how he’d react to what you’re going to say.

“I know who you are, Dr. Banner.”
“Oh, you’re familiar with some of my work?”
“Um…More like I’m familiar with you turning into a big green guy.” You stated with a worried grin. “I was there when you and the rest of the Avengers fought with those creepy alien…thingys.”

Bruce chuckled, not surprised that the other guy would recognized before him. He’s come to terms with it, especially after he finally found the formula to keep his mind intact as he transformed.
“Ah, that was my next guess. Love your elegant description, by the way. ‘Creepy alien…thingys.’”
You became all that Bruce wanted. And he knew it from the very first moment. For the first time, Banner didn’t want the night to end. As long as he can spend it with you.

“Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. First of all, thanks for coming tonight. I know you probably had to call your babysitters, your nannies, or…whatever, to come tonight. I mean, it’s me so why wouldn’t you?” Tony smirked, holding the microphone close to his lips as his guests’ voices rose in laughter.
“Now, I didn’t just invited you to bask in my glory. You guys do that everyday.” Once again, the crowd chuckled. Some clapped in amusement while Sam and a few other of his teammates teased him to get a move on.

Bruce paid no attention to Stark on stage. He was more enthralled in what you were saying, making jokes and intrigued by his work. Granted, you had no clue what he was talking about but he made sound Science fascinating. The excited physicist was in the middle of explaining molecular energy when he blushed from raving over his field, pausing to look down at his shined dress shoes.

“I don’t want to bore you with all this.”
“No, no! I’m actually curious about what you do. Though I should warn you I’m not going to remember any of the terminology.”
He slightly threw his head back in laughter. Banner hasn’t laughed this hard in ages. “So tell me, what do you do for a living? I’ve never seen you before.”
“Oh well, I—”

Stark’s voice drowned you when he announced, “Without further ado, presenting up and coming artist Y/N L/N!” A spotlight shined above as the applause of people boomed. You turned to the scientist, your cheeks turned rosier.
“I’m the entertainment.”
You nervously chuckled as you walked towards the stage, leaving Banner surprised and astonished but with his curiosity piqued. Your lips stretched into an earnest smile, taking the microphone from Tony’s hand before he walked off stage.

“Thank you very much, Mr. Stark. Good evening, everyone. Um, I’ve written a song that is very dear to me. It came to me on a rainy Sunday morning. I hope you enjoy it.”
A soft, gentle melody snuck in as your voice carried throughout the large space. Your song was a slow ballad, filled with the hope of finding your soulmate again. You sung of the constant pain of missing someone you’ve never met and how you send your love to them every night. Like a prayer, a lullaby that was only for your beloved and how you waited for their return. When Bruce heard that song, as if a light came on and began to flicker in his heart. Your heartfelt yet sorrowful song ended, the last note echoing before the crowd applauded your performance. Your e/c eyes turned to Bruce, a soft smile extending to your round cheeks. He looked back, completely mesmerized by you. He wanted to hear you sing again, allow himself to be captured by that melody that could almost break your heart as you waited for your love. However, he swore that every word you sang, you wrote it just for him. His thoughts, his woes, it was as if you felt it too. The whole room felt like it dissolved, leaving you and him alone. It was Bruce’s private show, though he knew you never knew him until tonight. As you stepped gingerly down the stairs, his eyes never left you.
Bruce whispered to himself as you headed towards him, “Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?… Can I be him?” 

It’s two weeks since the gala ended. Bruce, in the lab with Tony, continued on with their work; however, his mind always went back to you and the sweetness of your voice. Besides you, the lyrics of your song haunted him. You both continued to speak after that evening, and created a bond like no other you’ve felt before.

“So there’s this guy…,” You began, averting your eyes to the cup of coffee in your slender fingers as you sat on the cream leather couch near him.
“Oh? I- I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.” Bruce stated, a tone of disappointment laced within his words.
You made a face of uncertainty, your nose scrunching up causing the older gentleman to chuckle. Perhaps there was a chance? He doesn’t deserve you, Banner thought. His lips touched the rim of his paper coffee cup in order to hide his frown. “Frankly, it’s not serious. He’s hurt me so many times that I’ve cried more than I’ve smiled. I don’t know why I haven’t broken up with him yet.” You sighed, recalling all the times your significant other has broken a promise, lied, or just ignored your presence for something of “more importance”.

If you were mine, I’d never let anyone hurt you, Y/N. I wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips… It’s all I’ve been thinking about. He said internally what he couldn’t say out loud. However, the moment he noticed your eyes welling up with tears; your face clearly displaying sadness and frustration, he couldn’t hold his words back any longer.
“Leave him.”
You turned to him in surprise, “What?”
“Leave him, Y/N. Be with me. ‘Cause a light came on when I heard your song and I want you to sing it again. I swear that every word you sang that night, you wrote them for me. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. Everything disappeared and it was like a private show, even though you weren’t singing it for me,” He said, nervously chuckling at what was spilling out of his mouth and heart. Bruce knew that he’s going out on a limb here, declaring his feelings to someone he’s only known for a few short months but he knew that this connection wasn’t one-sided. You must have felt it too.
“Bruce…,” You whispered, a soft grin emerging as the tears rolled down your cheeks.
“Can I be the one you talk about in all of your stories?” Banner moved closer to you, closing the small gap of cushion. His large and rugged hand reached out for your cheek, which you leaned in without hesitation. “Can I be him, Y/N?”
You brushed your soft pink lips against his, your e/c eyes never closing as you met his deep coffee brown ones. “…Yes.”

i felt weird the entire day and i realized why: today was the first time i actually properly came out to someone while 100% sober! it felt super strange and my heart hurt the way it hurts after an asthma attack. it was super casual, like the two people i told didn’t even really react, and that felt weird, too - the fact that someone could actually see homosexuality as something completely normal, not even worth a mention.

i didn’t even realize how fucking hard internalized homophobia made my life. like it’s completely unnecessary to stress about things i can’t even control.

anonymous asked:

how do you know if you're trans? not whether you know you have dysphoria, because i'm completely sure about that. but whether transitioning is actually worth all the time and effort and pain and rejection to alleviate that dysphoria.

Hi there

I’m going to be honest, this is a very difficult question and one that I don’t think me, nor anyone else really, can tell or advise you what to do but you. For me, I couldn’t cope and I just knew that medical transition was something I had to do. It was a “be happy or there’s no point in living” situation. I knew from a very young age that I was and “wanted” to be male and that one day I would live as male, even though I was clueless to being trans.

Sure, there were times I was scared and worried, “what if in the future I change my mind?” / “what if i’m mentally ill and it’s just my brain telling me this?” and “what if I regret everything and have lied to everyone?”. I was terrified of all these outcomes, I didn’t want to be that “crazy girl who thought they were male” but I just had to sit down, clear my mind and ignore all the things I heard about trans people and the negativity of detransitioning. I’ve recognised that what was holding me back was “what if” and I just had to trust myself for once in my life, I had to trust that I was right and that this is what I needed, to literally survive.

I was doing what was best for me in the present, and I knew that going forward on testosterone was permanent. Whether I would change my mind in the future, I knew this was an outcome, but I also knew that it likely was never going to be me. To transition, you really do need confidence and trust in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, I wouldn’t take any steps forward until you know that this is what you need.

I don’t want to say “its just a 50/50 situation" but a lot of the time, it really is. It is hoping that what you do will be the right path, and this makes it so hard to know what to do when you’re afraid of taking that leap of faith. If you’re able to, try out different coping strategies in the meantime. This may take a while to master, possibly months but if you notice your dysphoria decreasing then maybe transition isn’t needed.

Lastly, you will be rejected and there is no way around that. There will be people who don’t accept you for being trans, but the number of people who will accept and love you regardless of being trans, and embrace your trans-ness will outweigh the number of people who do not. There are supportive, open-minded and loving people out there, people aren’t all bad. There is still goodness in the world, and you’ll find it more often than you think.

I really hope I helped and wish you the best. Remember, just trust your instinct.


anonymous asked:

Can you please write something about Carter saying his first words


Honestly, this was Will’s proudest moment as a father. He never thought that this would be the highlight of his parenting, but it totally was. He kept a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter and the glare his husband was sending him was enough to take down any one that wasn’t married to him. Will tried to muster up a serious face, but a renewed chorus of their son’s chant ruined Will’s chances of explaining himself. Carter was sitting on the couch, repeating his first word like a mantra. Normally, their son’s first word would cause celebration, but what his first word was stopped Nico in his tracks of congratulating Carter.

“Mitochondria!” Will wasn’t even entirely sure how Carter managed to get all the syllables out, but he was impressed none of the less. The fact that he taught his year old son the word mitochondria and that Carter actually picked up on it was completely worth the wrath he was going to get from Nico later.

“You taught him how to say mitochondria and not our names? Seriously, Will?” Will could tell that Nico wasn’t very happy with him, but he was still trying to hold back the laugh. At Nico’s accusations, though, Will couldn’t help himself.

“Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.” Will doubled over laughing, and Carter squealed along with his father. Through Will’s squinted eyes, he could see Nico’s foot tapping, but he was too busy laughing. He still couldn’t believe that Carter had picked up on Will constantly repeating mitochondria to the point where it was his first word.

“Will, what the hell?” Will finally calmed down enough to straighten himself up and look at his husband, who didn’t look very pleased with Will’s parenting. Probably something to do with the fact that Will taught their son a science term as his first word instead of either of his parent’s names. Will preferred it this way though. It was a lot funnier.

“Oh, come on, Neeks, I didn’t think he’d actually pick it up. It was just something stupid that happened to turn out hilarious.” Will watched his husband fight against the smile that threatened to take over his face. Nico rolled his eyes before letting his arms fall to his side and glancing down at Carter, who had lost interest in the situation he had caused and instead was chewing on his foot. Nico finally let the smile win and picked Carter up, who seemed much happier to chew on Nico’s fingers then his own foot.

“It is kind of funny. Thought I’m still upset it wasn’t my name.” Nico commented. Will knew he was just as impressed with the big word their son had picked as Will was, he just didn’t want to admit it. “Mitochondria. Who would’ve thought? It’s got a lot of syllables. I’m impressed.”

Will laughed again as he took Carter from Nico’s arms. “He’s got the first part down. Now how needs to learn the rest of the phrase. Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.” Will touched Carter’s nose gently and Carter squealed.


Will seems like the kind of parent who would do that

do u ever draw something and it turns out really good on accident and you’re like ‘holy shit i might actually be worth something, im actually proud of myself’ and it completely takes you off guard and you’re validated for the next five hours or so?


did she just…… did she just make a post?

Well YES SHE DID. I’ve been brutally busy the past year with everything from moving city to starting a new concept art job to hitchhiking for 3 months and I just…. didn’t have the spare energy to actually complete anything worth posting.

So I thought I’d start creating comics about my adventures whilst hitchhiking! Cos im certainly useless at fuckin WRITING these stories down..

I’ll make this into a lil series of all kinds of tales and stories if people are interested? But for now, here’s a few of the stupid animal problems I had at night….. super goddamn rough because that’s all i can achieve at the moment

anonymous asked:

Anons made me have a panic attack and since I’ve blocked some people they stopped... funny these people were two faced... I just needed to tell someone, it kinda hurt...

I’m glad that you found the strength to block them. I know that can’t be a good feeling, but I’m proud of you for being able to do it.

I’m sorry that people aren’t always what they seem. It’s unfair to you. But I hope now that you know, you’ll be able to move past it, and find people actually worth your time. It’s completely reasonable that it hurt, and you’re allowed to be hurt. Take as much time as you need to be hurt.

Thank you for being able to confide in me. I hope that telling someone has helped, and if you need to vent further, know my inbox is open.

anonymous asked:

A character of mine ends up getting pregnant unexpectedly. However, she can't have a child in her current situation, so she looks for an abortion. My question is, what would that procedure look like? Are there any side effects she would have to deal with after? She does a lot of physical activity on a daily basis, how much would that be affected? She is in her early 20s if that helps at all. Thank you so much!!

Okay. So I suppose we need to do one of these again:


So let’s get cracking!

First off, a lot of the specifics about the process of your character obtaining a safe, medically supervised abortion are going to vary by location. Laws regarding terminating pregnancy are very different in different places, and I strongly suggest you research not just those of the country your character lives in, but of the specific area you’ve set the story in as well. Your character may find it very challenging to even get to the process of actually speaking to a physician about her medical procedure.  

There is one thing to mention here: Your character turning to an unlicensed, unregulated, or otherwise “unauthorized” provider is a BAD IDEA. Terminations performed without the supervision of a physician CAN AND HAVE BEEN FATAL in the real world. There are many ways this can go wrong, and your character should have access to physicians before, during, and after the procedure.

In all cases of medically supervised abortion, there is some form of counseling about what the procedure entails and what she can expect. The details of these are often legally mandated, and I’m not going to discuss them beyond this, but it is worth researching this aspect as well.

All that said, there are two basic types of terminations: medical and surgical.

Medical Abortions

Most terminations in the first trimester—within 64 days, or 9 weeks, of fertilization—is done with medication rather than surgery. This is done with a 1-2 combination of medications, mifepristone and misoprostol. Your character will take the mifepristone in the doctor’s office, then misoprostol a couple hours later at home. About 4-6 hours after taking the misoprostol, your character’s pregnancy tissue will be expelled through her vaginal canal.

She will also likely experience abdominal cramping for a few hours (up to 8hrs after the misoprostol), and heavy vaginal bleeding for the first few hours. She may continue to have some bleeding for up to a couple of weeks. She may also experience fever, nausea, and vomiting as side effects of the medications.

It’s possible, but not very common, for a woman to be offered a medical abortion (aka induced abortion) in the 2nd trimester of pregnancy. There are several downsides to this approach. The risk of infection and hemorrhage is greater than a D&C or D&E, and in addition, there is a risk that the uterine contents won’t pass, or won’t pass completely, and a D&E may be necessary anyway. In the 2nd trimester, an induced abortion must be done in-hospital in a labor & delivery ward, whereas a surgical option can be performed in an outpatient setting.

Surgical Abortions (D&C, D&E)

By contrast, once past the 9-week mark, most US pregnancy terminations are done surgically, with a technique called dilation & curettage, or dilation & evactuation (D&C or D&E). The patient is placed in stirrups, her cervix dilated with medication and/or a speculum, and the inside of the uterus is typically scraped with a hooked implement called a curette, and/or the uterine contents are removed with suction. Many places use these terms interchangeably.

D&Cs/D&Es are quick, relatively painless procedures that are often completed inside of 30 minutes once actually initiated. It’s also worth noting that while this is a much more popular choice in the 2nd trimester, it can definitely be performed in the 1st trimester as well. It’s also worth noting that your character may or may not be offered some mild sedation.

Your character can expect some vaginal bleeding and lower abdominal pain and cramping after the procedure, which should last a few hours and will probably feel a lot better with some ibuprofen, though pain may persist.


No matter which way your character and her providers choose to terminate, your character will likely feel some malaise for a couple of days, in part from some blood loss, in part because her body is physically recovering from the pregnancy. Let how she’s feeling guide her exercise. She may choose to postpone or skip workouts, or shorten their duration. If she has a physical job, she may ask to take it easy for a couple of days. A couple of days’ worth of sick time would not be out of the question here.

Her ability to conceive children in the future won’t be affected by the procedure.

Overall, when abortion is performed by qualified providers with training, it is a safe procedure with low rates of complication (though complication rates increase as gestational length increases).

I hope this helps your writing!

xoxo, Aunt Scripty


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Lost (Jimin x Reader) Part V

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 Part 10

The following morning, you woke up without feeling any emptiness within you, actually for what it was worth you finally felt complete - it was as if the last and most important piece of the puzzle was yet to solve the overall image. You strongly suspected your feeling of completeness to have been triggered by the conversation you had with Jimin the previous night. Looking around at your surroundings you began to feel slightly baffled as to how you had gotten in your bedroom. You could have sworn that yesterday you had spent the whole night on the couch talking with Jimin … Actually, you couldn’t quite recall most of the stuff that had happened last night.

As usual, your hand would wander around for a couple of seconds along the fabric of the bed sheet that laid on top of you mattress in the hope that you would find Jimin’s body laying restlessly next to your own and for once in a very long time your hand came into contact with his own. Almost immediately you felt obliged to pull away, yet, you were gravely tempted to hold on to his hand even if it was just for a second. Hesitantly, your hand made its way to his own before you let out a loud gasp due to him enclosing your wrist delicately in his fingers. 

“Hey” he greeted you in a sleepy voice as a faint smile tugged at both corners of his lips.

You wanted to reply but for some reason you couldn’t bring yourself to let the words leave your mouth. You were speechless and completely mesmerised by the beauty of your fiancé ‘ex-fiancé’. Slowly, his fingers let go of your wrist to comfortably intertwine themselves in yours. Truthfully no moment could ever be as perfect as the one you were currently experiencing and you honestly wouldn’t mind getting used to waking up to this everyday. However, knowing that he was still in a ‘relationship’ with Nari just made this overpowering current of guilt flow through you, even if rightfully this was where he belonged. 

You threw him an apologetic glance and it was as if he knew exactly how you were feeling, he let go of your hand while his eyes bored into your own - searching deep into your soul. “_____, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, I’ve just been thinking a lot about what was said last night so I thought you would be okay with it.” 

You sighed as you tried to recall what the actual conversation was about, though, no matter how hard you tried, it seemed to have completely slipped from your mind, “Jimin, I-” 

You were interrupted by him “It doesn’t matter… Thanks for letting me stay for the night.” Before you could say anything else he got up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom. You couldn’t understand why you couldn’t bring yourself to say what you wanted to tell him. Throwing your blanket aside you quickly got out of bed and made your way to the open kitchen to prepare a small breakfast for him. The entire time you spent cooking all you could only think about how stupid you were for not speaking out to him or letting him know how you truly felt. After Jimin had closed the bathroom door you could hear his feet dragging themselves along the wooden floor of your apartment, his steps seemed to be approaching closer to where you were. Once he finally entered the open kitchen he gave you a longing look, “I’ll get going now” he said as an exasperated sigh left his lips. 

“No. I mean, I made breakfast so if you’re hungry then please help yourself” you said, seeing his eyes dropping down to the food you had finished preparing thus causing his eyebrows to quiver ever so slightly in astonishment as his whole face radiantly lit up, he appeared to be content with the effort you had made “_____~ah you shouldn’t have …” 

“Listen, I really want to say sorry for what happened earlier. I only pulled away because I’m not used to that, it’s been such a long time that I’ve had anyone do that to me so I was just shocked. Jimin, I do like you. For what it’s worth I like you a lot but I feel as if I have to restrain myself because you’re still in a relationship with Nari.” Everything had happened so fast, immediately after you were done Jimin had yanked your wrist promptly pulling you closer to him before he wrapped you in his arms, holding you as if his life depended on it. The hug was so sudden yet you were able to ease into it without any problems. “_____, can we just stay like this for a bit, please?” you nodded in response whilst laying your head against his chest to distinctly listen to his heart beat. There was something about the way his heart beat pounded at his chest that made you feel as if you had entered one of your peaceful dreams. You then wrapped your arms around his waist, closing your eyes as you inhaled his scent. The hug lasted for a couple seconds more but when you opened your eyes, you began to feel tears welling up in your eyes. Some of the tears were due to you missing the contact of the warmth of his body against your own, but, most of the tears were due to you missing the way things used to be.  

Jimin’s cheeks were flushed in a soft pink colour as his nerves started becoming apparent, he tried biting on his bottom lip to hide them, though, this only made his nerves become more obvious. “A-are you okay? What’s wrong?” 

You shook your head whilst attempting to fight the tears that threatened to roll on to your cheeks “I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay, I can’t lose you again.” Jimin started wiping away at your tears with his thumbs with a mere expression of confusion written all over his face “_____, you’re not going to lose me, I’ll always be there for you.” … If only he knew. Deep inside, he knew he wanted to cry as well but he did well to restrain himself, instead, he brushed off the thought that seemed to sadden him and replaced the minor sorrow with a broad grin. Of course, when you were dating you knew that he would hide his pain by making you believe that he was fine. Although his expression was very convincing - it didn’t fool you, at all. “I don’t like seeing you upset so maybe we should eat first, before the food gets cold and then we could just have fun together.” he suggested and that’s exactly what you did.

You sat opposite each other at the dining table, nearly wolfing down the food as you both exchanged jokes that installed a presence of an enjoyable atmosphere in the room. Hours later after you had finished eating and talking, Jimin turned on the TV in the living room. Flickering between channels before he stumbled across a music video channel. Instead of clearing the table you watched him, as the rhythm of the song travelled through his body, influencing the flow of his movements as he danced. He continued for a while but then stopped when he realised that you were watching him. A smirk presented itself on his lips as he gestured for you to come over. Without even leaving yourself time to think, you went to the living room and joined him to dance a little bit. The music was drowned by the sound of yours and Jimin’s laughter, the both of you danced until you could feel your energy slowly draining.  

Once you were done, you both lazed into the couch - trying to catch your breath. Jimin’s phone started ringing causing him to stare at the caller ID in complete shock, if anything, he seemed afraid to answer. His hands started trembling a little bit as he pressed a button that ignored the call. Without saying a word he grabbed his coat and made his way over to the corridor to grab his shoes, you had followed him into the corridor. You stood there, trying to figure out why he didn’t want to stay or if you did something that made him feel the need to leave. Jimin was about to leave without even saying ‘goodbye’, therefore, you grasped on to his wrist as tightly as you could so that he wouldn’t go - which subconsciously made him turn around and caused his eyes to widen, you could tell that he didn’t expect you to grab on to him like that so you released your grip. To your surprise, Jimin had cupped your face in his hands before carefully entrapping your lips inbetween his own. He savoured the taste of  your lips as fresh tears starting rolling on to his cheeks, only this time he knew there was no way he could hold them back. He broke from the kiss, as he tried so hard not to look at you, though, instantly his eyes met yours. “Jimin, please stay” you said feeling your voice break a little. 

He sighed “One day, we’ll be together. I promise, but first I’m going to have to confront Nari” 

He started putting on his coat, without realising that something had fallen out of his pocket. It was a small object. At first, you weren’t quite sure what the object was - before your eyes started analysing it as you went to pick it up. You glanced up at Jimin feeling your heart pounding so much quicker than it’s usual steady pace. “Jimin?” he hummed in response but, he wasn’t paying much attention to you considering he was preoccupied with something else. He started patting his pockets finally realising that something was missing. “Why did you have my car keys in your pocket?” 

He scratched the side of his head as he stared at you in disbelief “You wouldn’t believe me, if I told you.” Your gaze stayed fixated on him as you clutched tightly on to the car keys “Go on, why did you take them?” 

You could see him starting to get frustrated, he acted the exact same way he did one month ago when you had gotten into that argument and for the first time in a long time, you could finally see the ‘Jimin’ you were used to, “Because I keep seeing them in my dreams. Every single night, when I go to sleep I have this dream and I don’t quite know why so I’d really like to know … I thought that maybe if I familiarise myself with the keys I could finally understand why I keep seeing them.” 

“What’s the dream about?” you asked while raising an eyebrow. 

“It’s stupid. Basically, I keep dreaming about this girl … I don’t really know who she is but in my dream she takes the form of a dark silhouette and in the dream she’s my fiancée, we were arguing but I got so angry that I just wanted to leave and clear my head. I grabbed the car keys and slammed the door on my way out. I went for a ride in her car and before I knew it a random car came crashing into hers. But I didn’t die, instead, I got taken to a hospital … Ah, I told you it was a stupid dream but I’d still like to know why I have the same dream every night,”

You shook your head finding it immensely painful to keep in mind what Doctor Kang had told you to do, “Jimin that’s not a dream … It really happened.”

Jimin started ruffling up his hair as you could see his anger starting to rise “It doesn’t make any sense. Why can’t I remember it actually happening!?”

“Because you’re suffering from memory loss … That’s also the reason why you can’t remember me, either”

“Wait! What? Do you mean to say that you’re that girl in my dreams? You’re my fiancée!?” He put a hand over his mouth in attempt to silence his whimpers as you nodded your head.

-admin blxnktae