but a good gay

Also so my gf and I met bc of homestuck but I remember distinctly that they showed up in a stream where I was drawing terezi then a friend was like uhhhh that person writes great fic so i went and read some and it was some DAMN GOOD SCOURGE FIC and I was like HELL IVE NEVER BEEN SO GAY and now five years later we are getting married so there ya go

youtube

This new Mary Lambert music video dropped a few days ago and I haven’t seen anyone talking about it but it’s amazing and super catchy and super gay (both the video and the song) and more people need to be talking about it!!!

Please watch this video I promise you won’t regret it

I want to tear you apart.

Every soft, sleepy smile, the way your hands feel on my arm when you’re shy and clinging to my side, the way your face lights up in that sweet little gasp whenever you see something that makes you happy… I don’t know what to do with myself, I can’t take it, I can’t think of anything but how badly I want to wreck you. When you laugh, when you’re talking about something that you love and your eyes light up, that focused look you get on your face when that gorgeous mind is puzzling out some new mystery, a new question to answer- that’s when I want to wrap my hands around your throat and squeeze, let your eyes glaze over. You look so nice when you let me choke you, let me bruise you, let me play with you like a toy. I want to use you, but I can never let myself use you up. I need you just as bad as I need to wreck you, want to end you just as much as I want to cherish you every moment of every day. Sweet boy, my babydoll, my darling, even when I’m screaming to myself in words I can’t repeat, crying over how much it hurts to not be able to kill you every night, I’m happy you keep me in check. I’m happy you don’t give me what I want. Because, in denying me what I want, you’re giving me what I need. Thank you, baby. I love you. I want you. I miss you. Fuck you.

Alright Guys

Yo can I just give a big shout out to my boy Alan Cumming, now some of you might be like whooooo??? but you’ll probably know him as the villain in Spy Kids  

or if not then he’s in the Good Wife and Nightcrawler in the older X-Men films. 

Now Alan Cumming is bisexual and totally open about it and has been for a long time, since the 90s, back when bisexuality was far less readily talked about than it is today (not saying there isn’t still huge bi erasure problems but back then they were way worse) so he was one of the few people publicly standing up for bisexual people back then which is super cool plus he’s done loads of work for AIDS charities and GLAAD so I reckon he’s a pretty awesome guy.

Now on CBS this fall there’s gonna be a show starring Mr Cumming called Instinct, it’s gonna be about a normal guy who’s a teacher but used to be a CIA Officer so now has to fight bad guys while trying to keep up with his normal life. The uber cool thing about this is that the main characters gonna have a husband and they’ll be trying to adopt kids and do cool things so this is gonna be the FIRST EVER Network Drama where the main character’s gay. 

How cool’s THAT?

So basically what I’m saying is let’s build the hype and get this show super successful so network execs will see that LGBT shows can have high ratings and be mega profitable :D

Literally just all the sexual things Alexander Hamilton sent to John Laurens


“I love you.”

This one is pretty self explanatory. Men were much more intimate back in the 1700′s, forming bonds that seem very ~gay~ in today’s light. Homosexuality wasn’t a very understood thing back then because rigid moral codes and censured education prevented people from learning more about sexuality.

 But Alexander Hamilton knew.

 He grew up on an island where ‘Sodomites’ (gay people) were dumped and  allowed to mingle with the island population. Alex knew that there was a certain zone of interactions between men that went from being merely friendly to sexual. He clearly steps into the bounds of sexual while fully realizing it.

“In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I [- - - - - -].”

Ahhhhhhhhh my son Alex, could you be more explicit? Alex here is obviously referring to his something else (you know) with the knowledge that John Lauren’s knows the size. This sentence right here is basically just one long ;).

 “Your friend” seems to be written teasingly, as if they both know how far from friends they are.

And we can only guess how dirty Alex got in those last six  CUT OUT words.

“Dear Boy” [sent by John Laurens]

John laurens calls his wife his ‘dear girl’, and here he calls Alex his ‘dear boy’.  Moreover, Laurens did not call any other man he ever wrote to as his ‘dear boy’. Laurens seems to see Alex as on the same level, if not higher, as his own wife.

“Did I mean to show my wit? If I did, I am sure I have missed my aim. Did I only intend to [frisk]? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend.”

This phrase right here I unfortunately do not see a lot when people talk about Alex and John’s letters. This, to me, is one of the most explicit. “Wit” also mean one’s you know what (here I give a nod to the Ravenclaw moto), so Hamilton’s saying he was pretty much just messing around with John the last letter he sent. This is the only sort of “intercourse” he is able to have with John, as they are both so far apart. He is incapable of ‘sexual’ intercourse because of their distance, so he feels he must, in the 18th century way, sext.

“I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.”

As you might have already guessed, Alex is inviting John to a threesome on his wedding night. The idea that Alex feels so at ease inviting John to a threesome with his wife suggests they have already had something going for a long time now. 

“But like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued. I had almost resolved to lavish no more of them upon you and to reject you as an inconstant and an ungrateful –”

Here Alex compares himself to John’s lover, and a jealous one at that. John seems to be shying away from Alex’s bawdiness, as if realizing how strange their relationships is in retrospect. Alex is scrambling to hang on to him, even though he knows well what are and what happens to Sodomites. He would do anything for John while knowing the consequences. And John is too afraid to join him. And who the hell knows what the last word was.

“And believe me, I am lover in earnest,”

*cough cough* looks like John knows exactly what happens when Alex’s feeling frisky.

“She [Eliza] loves you a l'americaine not a la francoise.”

The French were renowned for their relaxed stance on extramarital love affairs, while Americans were more Puritan-minding and thought love affairs only should happen in church-sanctioned marriages. Thus Eliza has an a l’americaine love of John Laurens, rather than an a la francoise.

“You will be pleased to recollect in your negotiations that I have no invincible antipathy to the maidenly beauties & that I am willing to take the trouble of them upon myself.”

*cough* this sentence is a bit confusing, and could be taken a few ways. What I infer from this is that Alexander Hamilton is willing, and John knows this, to assume an air of femininity because he finds no fault with it. It was commonly noted by people who wrote of Hamilton that he was very feminine in comparison with other men of his day. Alex’s femininity seems to please John, the topic even having been discussed between the two in ‘negotiations’.

“My ravings are for your own bosom” Alex desperately misses Laurens’ intimate contact in a way that, in my opinion, could never be mistaken as simply friendship. Alex literally wants to be held by John. How fucking heartbreaking is that.

“Yrs for ever”

Ok, this one isn’t sexual, but I had to add it because it is so heartbreaking. This was Alex’s last farewell note to John. That is, if he even received it. He died shortly after Alex sent the letter; whether he read the farewell or not is all lost to history. Alex loved John so much, despite the fact that both already had a wife. He would have always loved him, even if they had grown apart…

That’s it folks: time for me to cry.