“Hi!!! I just discovered you blog and i love your writings. Anyway can i request ken scenario where his wife fall sick because she miss him while he is on tour? I hope you understand :) thank you” - oppatinkerbell
T/N: Thank you for sending this in lovely! I am so sorry this took so long! Thank you for being so patient and understanding. I hope you enjoy it! xoxo
I am sorry that I haven’t really been keeping up with requests, things have just been really busy and finals are coming up along with juries (idk if anyone will know what that it). Please bear with me! I love you guys! xoxo
“I just missed you so much”.
At times we both kind of wished that he wasn’t an idol, just for a day, or even hour, just to spend time with each other. But he was an idol, two minute phone calls, and sporadic text messages was just the way it was. And I was okay with it. At least I tried to be. I couldn’t be more proud of Ken and the rest of Vixx; of course I wanted them to be a successful as possible, but sometimes I just wanted to be with Ken. I wanted him to be my husband, and for me to be his wife. We were married and the most I ever see him is about a day or two when he wasn’t on tour, and when he was on tour, about a few minutes on facetime before one of us fell asleep.
Today was my first day at my new job and it is already hell. I lay on my bed. I am so done. My boss keeps nagging me and the mountain of work that she gives me isn’t exactly helping. My ipad rings; a facetime call from Ken, I answer it. I see his tired face that has aged 50 years and my heart aches. Tears fill my eyes. “I miss you”. He smiles widely.
“Nado, yobo.” Despite his tired out appearance he acts 10 times more lively than I must look.
“Y/N, you look tired, hang up and go to sleep~”
“Ani, this is the first time I got to see your face in a week. I can’t go that long without seeing my husband.”
“As much as I want to stare at your beautiful face all night, it’s not good for your health yobo.”
“ani~ I am not even tired” I yawn. Aish.
“Yes you are. Now hang up and close your eyes.”
“Why are you so stubborn?”
“Because I love you so much.”
He lays down too and seeing him lay down in a bed makes my heart ache to be laying down beside him.
I stare at him and he stares back. He grins. But his eyes can’t help but look sad.
He starts singing.
My eyes can’t help but feel heavy and start to droop. I force them back open but all my attempts fail.
Just as I am about to fall asleep I hear Ken saying, “Goodnight my amazing, beautiful, wife. I could stay here to look at you forever. Saranghaeyo”.
Before sleep pulls me down into sweet oblivion I manage to whisper, “nado”.
When I wake up I can’t help but curse myself because of falling asleep, cutting my time short with Ken. I look at my phone and find Ken asleep; it’s still on facetime. For 5 hours?! His hair is displayed all across his face and drool running down his face. How beautiful. His strong arms wrapped around a pillow. How much I wished to be that pillow and wake up in his arms. I hate to say goodbye to my prince but hang up because I have to get ready for another day at work.
At work I look at my phone and see a message that was sent at 10pm from Ken,“baby, you fell asleep~”
and another one, “now get some rest.”
“Did you know that you talk in your sleep? I know it is me that you are dreaming about kekeke.”
“Yobo, you drool is forming a pool on you pillow~” followed by a picture of his screen of me asleep with dried drool on the corner of my lips.
“It’s okay, you are still my beautiful, drooly, princess”
End of messages.
I send a reply, “Yah! You are exactly sleeping beauty either!”
within seconds I get a reply, “Saranghae~”
I smile. I smile even wider at the realization that this was the most about of texts sent at once in a long time. Even though I am smiling tears can’t help but fill my eyes.
My boss sneaks up behind me, “Yah! What are you doing? Slacking off?”
“Just get this paper work done by the end of the week okay?”
And with that she walks away, leaving a mountain of papers on your desk making you want to cry even more.
Each night I stay up late working on the paper work but get distracted because I miss Ken so much and he is either on the radio or on a reality show, and the sight of him just makes my work 10x harder. I missed him so much. I tried facetiming him. 1 ring, 5 rings, 10 rings, no answer. I call his cell phone. 4 rings, 10 rings, no answer. I text him, “Ken-ah, I miss you. I need you.” a few hours later a no answer.
All the way on the other side of the world Ken was so busy he had no time to even take a glance at his phone. It hurt him knowing that facetime on rare occasions was the best that he can do as a husband. He feels like he has failed. He thought that his wife was his first priority, so why wasn’t he there with her?
At home, after one set of mammoth stacks of paperwork, another one was set in front of me. Day after day, each hour filled with tiny print and high demands. Slowly my body started deteriorating, I wasn’t taking care of myself like I should; frequent headaches, nausea, insomnia, and inadequate amount of food and water.
As I hunch over piles of paper about to pull out my hair in frustration. I try and take a bite of the ramen I had next to me but end up only taking one bite of the air cooled ramen. The ramen tastes so slimy. I hear my ipad ring, it’s Ken. Finally after several weeks I get to see his face. As his face pops up on screen I can’t help but be able to breath a little easier. I try my best to look happy.
As I speak I try my hardest to make my voice sound perky.
“Ken! I missed you so much!”
Ken looks at me, despite all my efforts he can hear the pain in my voice. He notices how my cheek bones are protruding more than usual, how much more pale i’ve gotten, the bags underneath my eyes. His eyes look sad.
“How are you? Is everything going ok over there?”
“Yeah I am great but are you okay?”
“Of course!” My voice cracks and I go into a coughing fit.
“Y/N you’re sick. Haven’t you been getting rest?”
“Plenty! Don’t worry, I just look this way because you’ve been gone for so long. Don’t expect me to look the same as when you left!” I kid.
“Have you been eating?” his eyes look at the full bowl of ramen in the corner of the screen.
“Of course!” I force myself to take a bite but end up spitting it out and gagging.
My smile disappears along with my “happy, healthy” facade.
“You lied. Y/N. You are always so stubborn and acting so strong” He forces a slight grin.
“I have to be strong…”
“Why? Why do you have to be so strong that you make yourself sick?”
“Because my boss expects me too. and you’re not here… I just miss you so much.” Tears start to fill my eyes.
Tears spill but I immediately wipe them away and put on a smile.
“But it’s okay. As long as I know that you are happy. Don’t worry about me, I just miss you so much”
Another tear escapes and I look down.
“Y/N… I know that I am not the husband you deserve. I know that you wish of picnics, pillow fights, romantic dates, a family, and waking up next to each other everyday. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for not being able to do those things for you…” I look up. Tears start to fill his eyes. Looking at me being so ill just makes him feel terrible.
“I hate myself…I am sorry…” his voice fades and he buries his face in his hands.
“Ken-ah, there’s not much you can do. I just miss you so much”
I get a call from my boss.
“I gotta go babe. I miss you.” I quickly hang up. I ignore my boss’s call. I burry my face into my arms and cry. I missed him so much.
I end up not going to work the next day. I ignore and all calls. I just lay in my bed all day looking at the empty space beside me, I stroke the pillow next to mine. Tears stream down my face and dampen my pillow. “Ken…”.
I don’t go to work the next day. And the next day. My friends brought me food in bed, but I only end up eating a few bites and most of the time I end up throwing it up. I left all the paperwork piled up on my desk and my voicemail overflowing with messages from people I probably don’t care about. I climb into the closest and grab one of Ken’s sweaters that he left behind and put it on. I curl up into a ball and bury my head into my arms. I inhale and breath in Ken’s scent. I ended up spending more time asleep than I was awake. I was happy in my dreams, because in my dreams I dreamt about being with Ken. When I was half asleep I would catch myself whispering as if I was talking to him, “I just miss you…” and when I would wake up and swear that Ken was lying beside me, I would reach out to touch his face but my hand only ended up landing on the empty space on the pillow beside me.
Ken facetimed me once one night. I answered, but I ended up falling asleep. As my eyes close Ken whisper, “I just miss you so much, Y/N”. I woke up to find my phone in my hand. This time Ken wasn’t asleep on the screen, the call only lasted a few minutes before he must of hung up. I look at the time, it is 10am. Might as well not bother going to work. Again.
I go back to sleep. Once again I dream about Ken; this time we were at the beach. He was carrying me in his arms as he walks into the water and he keeps pretending to throw me in. We laughed. But somewhere in the middle of the dream I realize it wasn’t real. I step into the ocean and feel nothing. I look up at Ken as I see him mouthing my name, but I hear nothing. I submerged myself into the water and that’s when I open my eyes. I stare at the ceiling. Tears fill my eyes. I turn my head and see a figure looking at me. It’s Ken. Am I not awake yet? His nose is inches away from mine. The sun shines in. I see the specks of dust float around, dancing in the sunlight. It is so bright I can see the pupils hidden within his irises. His hair slightly moves from the fan above. Out of all my dreams of waking up beside Ken this one was the most vivid and the most cruel. I could almost smell his scent. I swear I could feel his breathe on my face. I look at his chest and see it rise, and then fall, rise, and then fall again. I look up into his eyes tears begin to pool into his chocolate eyes.“I just… missed you so much” he speaks. This is something that has never happened before in my dreams. His voice is tender.
I don’t speak. Tears begin to fill my eyes. This is only a dream. But it is so vivid. It hurts. I just miss him so much. Still laying down, I take my hand a slowly move it closer and closer to Ken’s face. He looks so real. Maybe if I touch him it will feel real too. My hand is 1 centimeter away from his face and I swear I can feel the heat radiating off his skin. I gently place my hand in his cheek. I freeze at the sudden realization that my hand hasn’t landed on a cool pillow, but actual, heated flesh. A tear spills from Ken’s eyes. I drag my thumb across his cheek and underneath his eyes and wipe his tears. I feel his tears. I feel it. It is warm and wet. Tears begin to spill down my eyes as well. With a whisper I say, “But this is a dream…” my voice cracks and tears continue to stream down my face.
“Ani.” He whispers back and takes his hand a holds mine up against his face. Tears still continue to spill from each of us. “This is real. I am here.” I stare at him with blurry vision in disbelief. “This is… real…?”
my hand falls and rests on his chest as he learns over and kisses me on my lips. I feel his his heart beating hard, and his lips are warm against mine… this is real. I pull away and look around. his luggage is at the foot of the bed and there is a bunch of food set up at the table. I look at the bedside table and see steaming hot tea and packages of medicine.
“I am so sorry Y/N…it is because of me that you are so sick…” I hug him eagerly. “This is real.”
I kiss his shoulder, his collarbone, his jawline, his cheek, his nose, his forehead, his lips. This is real.
He wraps his arms around me and takes a deep breathe, I feel his tears running down his cheeks and spilling onto my sweater, his sweater.
Between a mix of awkward sounding coughing, crying, and laughter, I manage to make out, “I love you.”
“I just missed you so much”.