but I laughed hard so I thought I would post it

december 31st, 2015, 10:23 pm: i saw you for the first time. you were talking to a girl and i could tell that you were capturing her with every syllable that left your mouth. and i knew why: you were beautiful and bright, and i was drawn to you even then, like the planets are drawn to the sun.

december 31st, 2015, 11:58 pm: we met standing in line for the bathroom. you introduced yourself, and asked for my name, smiling when i gave it. “lovely,” you murmured, and repeated it a few more times, rolling the letters around in your mouth like a new food.

january 1st, 2016, 12:05 am: i could still feel you on me, your lips, minutes, hours, months later. the clock had struck midnight and you just grabbed me, didn’t ask if it was okay until it was over. you were laughing, brushing it off, all teeth and well-kissed lips, but i knew i saw you blushing. 

january 21st, 2016, 1:12 pm: you got my number through the mutual friend that threw the party. i still don’t know how you got my address. i didn’t remember telling you. you couldn’t tell me, either.

february 14th, 2016, 9:12 pm: you took me out to dinner and bought me chocolate and roses. it was all so cliche, and i loved every second of it. when you kissed me good night, i swore i could feel the rest of my life, pressed right up against my lips.

february 26th, 2016, 11:33 pm: we made it official. i remember how you asked me, how shy you got, like you didn’t know what the answer would be.

march 17th, 2016, 5:43 pm: we spent the day at the saint patrick’s day parade, and you filled yourself with beer and kissed me hard against the bar bathroom door. i drove you home and that was the first time you told me you loved me.

march 18th, 2016, 9:24 am: you called me and told me you loved me again. “i want to make sure that you know i still mean it when i’m sober,” you said.

march 24th, 2016, 1:09 pm: i met your parents at easter brunch. you had demanded i come with you, and i was glad i did. your mother was kind and beautiful, and your father was warm and handsome, just like i knew they’d be. after we’d eaten, your mother got me alone. “he’s never brought a girl home before,” she told me, “normally he isn’t very open about who he’s dating. but you, you’re different. don’t read into this, but i think he may really think you’re special.”

april 12th, 2016, 8:31 pm: you saw me naked for the first time, and you kissed every inch of my skin. i’d never felt that much love from anybody before that night, and i haven’t since. not even you could replicate those few hours.

may 5th, 2016, 4:57 pm: we fought for the first time. i ran into my ex at the grocery store and wanted to chat for a few minutes. you didn’t. when we got in the car, you told me that if i was still in love with somebody else i could just leave, and i told you that you should trust me and not be so insecure about our relationship. we screamed the whole way home and you slammed the car door when i dropped you off. i almost crashed three times on the drive home.

may 6th, 2016, 8:03 am: you came by with flowers and breakfast. “I’m sorry,” you told me, “you just mean so much to me, and the thought of you ever being anyone else’s makes me sick.” i smiled, “but you don’t have to worry about that now. i’m yours.”

june 16th, 2016, 10:51 pm: for my birthday you took me out to dinner and gave me a beautiful necklace with a silver chain and pearl pendant. we drank expensive wine and stumbled back to my place and fucked. i had never been fucked before, not like this. i woke up the next morning with bite marks on my neck and hickeys all the way down my stomach, but you were gone. “had to run,” you’d written on a post it note, “i love you.”

june 18th, 2016, 2: 41 pm: i hadn’t seen you since my birthday and you weren’t picking up when i’d call.

june 19th, 2016, 3:13 am: “ had to run,” the post it note had said. maybe you were running from me. i couldn’t tell if it was the 3 am darkness talking or the part of me that already knew.

july 1st, 2016, 4:01 am: i looked over at you, sleeping in the darkness beside me. when we were together, things felt perfectly normal. but now, i could feel the shifts. “are we falling apart?” i whispered to you, and although i hadn’t expected an answer, the silence broke my heart all the same.

july 4th, 2016, 6:47 pm: we were at a barbecue and i saw you across the crowd, talking to a girl. i saw the way she was drinking up every word that escaped from between your lips, and that’s when i knew. that’s when i knew you weren’t mine anymore.
july 21st, 2016, 7:08 pm: i brought it up to you. “i think we’re starting to grow apart,” i said, “there’s a distance between us that wasn’t here before.” you reassured me that it was all in my head, but i didn’t hear it in your voice. i didn’t see it in your eyes. you knew it was there, too, but unlike me, you weren’t trying to do anything to stop it.

august 10th, 2016, 11:37 pm: i lay awake and thought about what your mother said, all these months later. “don’t read into this.” but of course i did. i couldn’t help myself. fuck, i loved you so much.
august 15th, 2016, 1:12 pm: you invited me over and i discovered that the key you’d given me no longer worked. “i had the locks changed,” you said, “i’ll get you a new one.” it was a lie, and i knew it. you didn’t get me a new key.

september 8th, 2016, 2:00 pm: i caught you cheating. in a desperate attempt to revive the romance we’d had at the beginning of our relationship, i bought dinner and brought it to your place. when you finally opened the door, i saw it written all over your face; the way your eyes widened, the way your jaw dropped, the way your cheeks drained of color. i heard it in the stammer of your voice, the sharp intake of your breath, the grinding of your teeth. when the girl walked up behind you, half naked, asking who it was at the door, i already knew. “how could you?” i whispered, and you just opened and closed your mouth. the girl pieced it together and started screaming. she hadn’t known. i left the food at the doorstep.

september 10th, 2016, 1:49 am: you never called after that, never came by, never reached out, but it wasn’t like we’d needed to confirm anything. i knew it was over, but it took every ounce of willpower i had not to go back to your place and find out why, why everything.

september 27th, 2016, 6:20 pm: i kept finding myself huddled in a ball; in my bedroom, in my kitchen, in my shower. not crying, or yelling. just huddled, clutching my body close to myself, staring. still not understanding.

october 31st 2016, 9:01 pm: i spent halloween haunted by the ghost of you. your face was around every corner. i could still feel your touch trickling down my spine. that night, i lost it. the anger surged through the sadness and bubbled to the surface. i screamed until my throat was raw, screamed at nothing, about nothing, for no reason other than i was too full.

november 10th, 2016, 2:17 am: you called me when you were drunk and i answered. i listened to you ramble, vomiting up apology after apology. near the end, you told me you loved me. “call me tomorrow when you’re sober if you still love me,” i said.  you didn’t. 

november 25th, 2016, 7:15 pm: i went out on a date with somebody new. they didn’t pull me in like you did, but for a few hours, i forgot about you and i felt okay. i drank myself to sleep that night so i wouldn’t have to think about you. the next morning, the hangover hurt more than you did. it was a start.

december 24th, 2016, 8:12 pm: i was spending christmas with my family, and i was doing great until my aunt asked about you. i told her you cheated, but i was doing okay, and then i excused myself and threw up the appetizers into the toilet. i called you then, and when you picked up, i let out a sob. “you ruined me, you fuck,” i croaked, “and you can’t even apologize. not when you’re sober, at least.” there were a few seconds of silence, and then you hung up. i still hope that it ruined your christmas.

december 31st, 2016, 10:23 pm: i saw you for the first time in months across the crowd. it made me sick to know that even after all that had happened, you were still the most beautiful person in the room to me.

december 31st, 2016, 11:55 pm: you found me in the kitchen. “i wanted to tell you i’m sorry,” you yelled over the music, “and i miss you.” and in those final moments of the year, i thought about it. i thought about letting you back in. the countdown started, and you moved closer to me. and i.. i pushed you away. i turned away from you and said, “no. i can’t.” and i walked out of the room.

january 1st, 2017, 12:05 am: i have forgotten how you felt against me, your lips. and for the first time, i am finally okay with that.

—  a year in review -c.h. // instagram: @evanescent.love (via @poeticaffinity)

I’ve wanted to talk for So Long about the portrayal of anxiety in YOI but I’ve been having so much trouble putting together what I want to say in the most effective manner. I kept trying to come at this in a more analytical fashion, but considering that this is such a personally important topic to me, I’m going to try a more emotional approach. Something I don’t normally do.

So really, to start off, I wanna say that I’m so damn thankful for the way Yuuri is written. Really, seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever had the ability to relate more to character; Yuuri is close to a mirror of my own experiences with anxiety and it’s so fantastic to have a model of development and growth for me and people like me. I found the portrayal to be frighteningly accurate, from types of thoughts, behaviors, mannerisms… I think the episode that stood out to me the most in terms of Yuuri’s anxiety was ep7, aka Yuuri’s on-screen panic attack episode. 

The first thing I noticed was this: 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself in that exact position. I bounce my legs when I panic, just like Yuuri is doing here. Head in his hands, breathing heavily, bouncing and jostling limbs. This isn’t the Mary-Sue cutesy portrayal of anxiety–this is a real anxiety disorder. It’s not pretty. It’s not easy. It can’t be fixed with a single word or a touch or a person. Quite frankly, it’s ugly and you lose control of your body. 

Keep reading

There are roses on Derek’s doorstep.

No note. No scent trail. After determining that there is nothing inherently magical or deadly about them, he spends the entire rest of the day researching symbolism and archaic demon customs, trying to figure out what kind of death threat he’s just been handed.

It doesn’t occur to him until nightfall, when the neighbors start discussing their romantic dinner plans at a decibel he has trouble tuning out, that he realizes the flowers might not have been delivered with malicious intent.

Because, apparently, today is Valentine’s Day. And apparently someone decided that Derek should receive flowers to celebrate the occasion.

Derek Hale has a secret admirer.

He honestly would have preferred the death threat.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but do things really get better? I'm 16 right now and everything I know is sadness and exhaustion and anger and then I talk to my parents and they just complain about adult life... is it worth it to go on?

oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy. i know there are a lot of people who say, oh it gets better. and it does in some ways, but what it really gets is different. the people who are angry and mean and horrible often stay that way. the people who cut you off or who flip you off or who piss you off often are the same people at 16 as at 26. 

i think i hated people telling me “it gets better” because what could get better about being a mentally ill queer cuban girl in a world that wanted to eat me. i got spat out. my writing isn’t published because i’ve been rejected so many times i don’t even notice anymore. i was told a few times “make it less obviously homosexual”. what is going to get better about that, i said to myself. the memory of it will never be a nice one.

things got different slowly. like i didn’t realize until i was far on the other side of it. i wasn’t kidding in that last post when i said today i read my writing at 15 and it was painfully obvious how depressed i was. i didn’t have a diagnosis. like you, all i knew was that i was exhausted and angry and sad all the time and when i talked about it, i was told “everyone feels that way sometimes.” i felt that way all the time. in this story, i don’t suddenly wake up after turning 18 and have a magical life where it is all bunnies and flowers and loving. it took me 3 years of trying before i finally managed to quit self-harm completely. my eating disorder and i are still not on speaking terms, luckily. i’m slowly getting a handle on my ocd. i didn’t realize that the biggest thing that was changing was me.

yeah. being out of the house made it easier. away from where people knew me as a certain person. being someone new or being who i was or being in a room full of people who didn’t care how gay i was. being in control made it better. finding real and true friends made it better. being able to make my own plans and choose my own story and do more than just wait until i was old enough to be taken seriously - it got better.

but honestly it’s me. i learned how to shake hands with depression, he and i are such good old buddies i sometimes see him before he’s even coming. and i’ve gotten so good at getting out of his embrace, because practice makes perfect, same as anything. and i’ve learned things about myself i had no idea about at 16. i didn’t even realize i’m funny. i had never been skinny dipping. my only kiss had been sort of an accident. there was a lot i cared about then that i don’t care about now, because in my new world outside of that, the people i surround myself with don’t care either. i’ve worn a dinosaur onesie pajama set to eight parties now when 19 year old me wouldn’t be seen without her makeup. i wear glasses in public even though i’m nervous they make me look like a bug. i have tattoos and new piercings and a bank account (and no money) and i have love. and i don’t mean with a partner, although i’m blessed enough to say i have that as well - i mean. i just found it. i taught myself how to look for it. i figured - listen, i’m here still, so i might as well, like, try to enjoy it. and it wasn’t overnight. it still goes away sometimes. but i love so much and so easily now. i laugh more because of it. i let myself love dogs and movies and silly things. and this love sort of … makes things better. because it reflects off of everything into you. like a mirror.

at sixteen… at sixteen i was very suicidal. i didn’t know that it applied to me, because i thought i was just annoying and lazy. looking back now i always pull a face at how obvious it was, and how close i got to walking myself into a grave. it was more than a close call. death, like, waved. i actually believed i wouldn’t make it past 18. what was the point? what was the point of anything? i think if i’d told myself then, “it gets better”, i would have laughed. “maybe for you!” i would have said, “you have money and a life and you’re not like this.” but it did get better. in inches. stick around to see it. stick around to see everything wonderful that’s waiting in the wings for you. that knows your name. a fate of beautiful moments that are small and precious, like butterflies landing on fingers or snowflakes on tongues, or just sitting with a good book during the rainfall. hell, stick around to write the book, because (trust me), if you believe in your art and yourself - it can be done.

stick around most of all because what gets better is you fall in love with yourself. the world doesn’t become suddenly sickeningly sweet, even if the people around you become better and you’re given more opportunity. that’s wonderful too but… what happens is that over time, the stuff they told you stops sticking. you realize that just because your nose is crooked it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t stop you from being the best dang ping pong player in your family. you realize you have a family, even if they’re not blood. you realize you are your own family. and you learn to take care of yourself and yes, it gets ugly at times, but you manage. and inside of managing there’s all these wonderful successes like mac and cheese and getting the bills done and the smell of clean laundry and friends that make you laugh so hard you almost pee and an apartment with plants in every corner and a hairless cat in sweaters or a dog with a bowtie or both and watching movies and reading books and seeing art, all of which haven’t been created yet, and possibly you’re the one who makes them. and managing … managing doesn’t have to be big. sometimes it’s just making a small difference. and sometimes the person you make a difference to is yourself. and that’s amazing.

stick around because, trust me, somewhere in there, you meet your younger self in your dreams and you tell her - oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy.

Joker Imagine - You Lose Your Virginity

WARNING: SMUT!!!! This is not for kids (But are any of my imagines tho?)

Originally posted by fuckyeahumbrellaboy

Originally posted by relationshipaims

Your P.O.V.

Being Joker’s girlfriend wasn’t easy, but I loved it. I loved spending time with him, stand by his side and feel special. He made me feel like I was one in a billion. Even tho he could be scary and really crazy, I loved him. Most people feared Joker for his behaviour which was good, but I knew him better. We’ve been together for just a few weeks, but it was enough. He was crazy and I was crazy, a perfect mixture for Gotham city. A crazy couple that likes to play with Batsy. We had a lot of fun, but then came the more personal part.

I was still a virgin.

The fact had made me nervous and to be honest I was scared. Joker wasn’t a gentle man, he was more dominating. I knew he had a rough grip so I was stressed about when the time would come. I was mentally ready, but I was just scared as heck. My old friends had told me that they were in pain, that it stung and some of them even bled. Knowing Joker he wouldn’t be any gentler than an ordinary guy, perhaps he was worse.

 Damn he didn’t even know. I had always came up with an excuse like ‘I’m on my periods’ ‘the wounds I got from the heist hurt’ or ‘I’m tired, sorry’ when he tried to take kissing a step further. Now he probably suspected something, which was ok. I knew I should tell him.

It was Valentine’s day, 10 p.m. and he would come home anytime soon. I had been up all day as he was on a heist with Frost. I had stayed on purpose, trying to prepare myself. Joker was surprised when I a blood thirsty little monster didn’t come with him to kill a few people who didn’t pay him back. While he was gone from the luxurious penthouse, I was thinking. I knew that I’d give him my virginity tonight. So I had taken a warm bath, I read loads of blogs where people talked about losing it. It was the same pain and blood kind of shit. But then I saw more positive posts. Some said that foreplay and lube could make it better. Also not everyone would bleed. So I felt a little better.

I sighed and grabbed my laptop. Then I sat down on our bed, on the dark purple sheets and I sat comfortably. Then I opened a tab and decided to do something I didn’t do that often, but I felt like I had to. If Joker would catch me, I’d be so embarrassed. I watched some more mature videos, yes porn. To be honest it was kinda hot and impressive how these people did all that. Maybe one day J could take me like that? Damn it was a thrilling thought. I got so lost in my thoughts by watching the video that I forgot to follow the time. The volume was quite high and a girl was moaning really heavily. I bet her moans were echoing through the house. I just watched keenly, slowly getting wet.

Then I heard footsteps coming closer loudly. My eyes widened and my breath hitched in my throat. Before I could sit up, Joker walked in with a gun in his hand. There was an angry look on his face. My heart jumped to my throat and I froze on the bed. ‘’Oh’’ He muttered and lowered the gun. Instead of being angry, he smirked. ‘’Is my kitten horny?’’ He purred at me. He still had his silver jacket on. He probably thought that something was happening here so he just hurried to me. A blush spread on my face and I shut the tab and then put the computer away. Way to go.

‘’We need to talk’’ I cleared my throat and looked away from my boyfriend. It was really embarrassing to be caught watching porn. ‘’Hmm I’d love to talk’’ Joker told me deeply and crawled in bed next to me. I noticed that I got tense. He grabbed my jaw and made me look at him. His usually ice blue eyes were dark and his pupils were bigger than normal. ‘’I should..um..there’s..can you..no do you want to..ugh..’’ I wanted to tell him about my virginity, but I was so nervous that I didn’t make sense. I stopped stuttering when he put his fingers on my lips. ‘’Do you want me to fuck you?’’ He asked me shamelessly. My eyes widened a bit and I felt like I was a heat lamp by now. Why was this so bad?

‘’Kinda.. yes’’ I whispered and watched how his smirk turned into a grin. ‘’But there’s something..you should know’’ I hurried to say before he got started. Joker nodded and waited for me to tell him. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that it was ok. He should know. ‘’I’ve..I’ve never done this before’’ I spat it out shyly and expected him to laugh, but nope, he didn’t laugh. ‘’I figured’’ He replied calmly. I looked at him with surprise. Before I could ask him how, he kept going. ‘’You always had an excuse kitten. You could have just told me’’ He let me know and climbed above me. I looked into his eyes quietly. Joker sat on my hips, but he put most of his weight on his legs. 

‘’Sorry’’ I apologized for not telling him earlier. ‘’Hmm..it’s ok. But why didn’t you tell me kitten? Why’’ He pried while taking off his silver jacket, revealing his red shirt that wasn’t buttoned. I saw his toned chest and to be honest I liked that sight. ‘’I was scared’’ I admitted, knowing that being honest with him was the best choice. Joker took off his shirt as well before he leaned closer to my face. ‘’Why were you scared?’’ He purred quietly and cupped my face. I put my hands on his and took a deep breath, noticing how his scent of gunpowder and cologne calmed me down.

‘’I was scared because I know it hurts..and it’s kinda embarrassing’’ I admitted, finding it hard to speak when he started kissing my neck. J licked my skin and then started kissing me until he found my sweet spot. I whimpered,but muffled it by biting my lips together. ‘’It’s not embarrassing’’ He told me seriously before looking back into my eyes.This side of him wasn’t really familiar for me. He wasn’t angry nor overly happy and cheerful. He seemed like he genuinely cared about my safety. But there was also that smirk there since he caught he watching that video. 

‘’You know I won’t hurt you right?’’ He whispered into my ear. I licked my lips and closed my eyes for a while. ‘’..unless you want me to’’ He added darkly, but I knew what he meant with that. ‘’I trust you J’’ I let him know. All this got me hornier and I just wanted to get started. I felt impatient, but also shy and vulnerable. ‘’Look at me’’ He demanded and so I opened my eyes. His face was right above mine. ‘’I’ll take care of you. Why would I ever want to hurt my queen?’’ He looked at me seriously, but he didn’t seem angry. I cracked a smile and it was enough for an answer.

Then J pressed his red lips against mine. I relaxed into the kiss and shut my eyes again, kissing him harder. Joker opened his mouth a little so he could push his tongue out. I gave him access to my mouth and then he started exploring me like never before. His hand travelled down on my body so he was cupping my right boob. I tensed as he touched me and of course he noticed. J pulled back and looked deep in my eyes. ‘’Relax kitten’’ He demanded calmly. I nodded and took a deep breath. 

Then he grabbed the hems of my black shirt that I was wearing and he dragged it up until I was shirtless. I watched as he threw the shirt away somewhere on the wooden floor. The cool air made contact on my skin and I felt goosebumps rising. Then J got up, standing next to the bed. He unbuckled his belt and got out of his black jeans. I was wearing golden pajama shorts and black underwear. When I saw J in his boxers, I realized that this was real. He had a boner and man it looked huge. How could all that fit inside me?

‘’What did you think of when you watched it baby?’’ He broke the silence and got on the bed again. I sat up next to him and sighed. Was it so obvious that I had been thinking of him? Of us doing those things? ‘’You’’ I replied shortly. J put his hands on my shorts and dragged them off, making me raise my legs so he could take them all the way off. Now we were both in our underwear only. I couldn’t help but to be nervous, but I was getting really wet. ‘’Mmh baby..’’ He growled with a smile and suddenly dragged me on his lap. I put my hands on his muscled shoulders and bit my bottom lip.His grip was strong, but sure. I liked it.

‘’I’ve thought about you very very much baby..About you and me, together’’ He purred and then his hands played with my bra. He unclasped them and I felt them hanging by the straps. He had never seen me buttnaked before, but I didn’t mind that he would now. Then he slid them off of me and threw them away as well. My nipples were hard and I knew he noticed. I mean, my boobs were nearly in his face. ‘’You’ve got really nice tits’’ he smirked and cupped both of them. Then he gave them a squeeze, making me flinch because the sensitivity came so suddenly. ‘’I know you like them because you’re always staring’’ I chuckled and tried to feel comfortable. I wasn’t uncomfortable either, just nervous.

‘’Have you touched yourself?’’ J asked me seriously and then licked my left nipple. I bit my bottom lip and nearly moaned when he blew cold air on the spot before nibbling me with his teeth. He used his hand on the other one so I wouldn’t feel lonely. ‘’Tell me’’ He reminded me and kept going. As I opened my  mouth to speak, he bit me a little harder, making me moan. ‘’That’s my girl, don’t hold it back’’ He let me know more happily. ‘’Now tell me, have you ever touched yourself while thinking of us?’’ He wanted to know very eagerly. It made me think of the few times I had done that. It had all been very recently. He was making me a horny mess.

‘’Yes J mmh’’ I whimpered, getting wet for him. Then I looked at my horny boyfriend who got a dangerous dark twist in those pretty eyes. ‘’Dirty dirty girl’’ He rumbled deeply. Then he used his mouth on my other boob. I leaned closer to him so his face was hugging them. I wanted to get some friction, but I was patient enough. I knew that foreplay was important so it wouldn’t hurt so much. His warm hands squeezed my boobs a little harder, making me jump a little every time, but I liked the feeling. Suddenly he pinched both my nipples, making me gasp. ‘’I need to punish you for being a naughty girl, but not tonight’’ He warned me and then moved his hands on my back, sliding them down until he clutched my bum. He did it to press our clothed crotches closer. Then he leaned back against the bedpost and attached his lips on my neck.

‘’Damn..I can feel how wet you are’’ J admitted and grinded his hard on against me. My eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head from the unfamiliar touch, but the feeling it made. My clit was pulsing by now because I was so eager for his touch. ‘’Oh baby girl..how long have you been waiting for me?’’ He licked his lips and kept planting kisses on my neck and chest. ‘’A few hours’’ I answered shortly, focusing on the small amount of friction that felt good already.

‘’Maybe..just maybe I won’t tease you too much now’’ He thought out loud. Then he rolled us over so he was on top. I looked into his eyes and now it was my turn to smirk. ‘’It must be tight in those boxers J’’ I whispered and touched his back with my nail, gently tho. ‘’Trust me, it is’’ He growled and then pressed his crotch against mine again, way harder than earlier because he was on top now. As I was about to moan, he pressed those sweet lips of his against mine, making me moan into his mouth. He grabbed my hair with his left hand to keep me steady. The feeling of him dry humping me was so good after waiting so long.

Then he let go of my lips, looking into my eyes silently for a while. He was probably finding it hard to keep control over his actions. ‘’Daddy’s hungry’’ He let me know. At first I didn’t get it, but I was quick to catch on. J went down on me and soon he bit my last piece of clothing, my undies. I watched as he slid them off very slowly, keeping eye contact while teasing the hell out of me. ‘’J’’ I whined impatiently, but couldn’t help but to admit that it was hot. His hands touched my thighs and then moved closer again. He moved his eyes away from my eyes to look at my heat. I felt a little shy and embarrassed again. No one had ever been this close to me.

‘’Oh you’re glistening..something needs to be done here’’ He purred excitedly and placed a kiss on my inner thigh. I squeezed the bedsheets and waited for him to do something. I didn’t even realize that I was holding my breath until he told me. ‘’Relax kitten, I’ll make you feel good’’ He promised me. I let out a long breath and then encouraged him with a smile. ‘’Please daddy’’ I begged him. Something twisted in his eyes and his grip got tighter, but I didn’t feel any pain. Then he licked my pussy slowly, from my clit to my opening. I gasped and then held my breath for a few seconds. J didn’t stop now. He kitten licked my wetness and then attached his mouth of my throbbing clit. I moaned loudly in pleasure. It didn’t hurt, yet.

J nibbled my clit with his teeth and made me arch my back. He put his right arm on my hips to keep me on place. ‘’Damn baby you taste so good’’ He complimented me and kept licking my clit. ‘’harder J’’ I whimpered, wanting more. I wanted him to take me harder. It was probably because I was so horny. ‘’Baby girl..I feel like after a few times you’ll be one feisty beast in bed’’ He chuckled and then pushed his index finger inside of me. He had long and kinda thick fingers. I had never felt that before from anyone else than myself and I had smaller fingers.

I chewed my bottom lip and whimpered as he started fingering me. It hurt a little, but it felt so good as well. Then I moved my hand to touch his arm he used to keep my hips down. J looked at my face to see if I was in any kind of discomfort.  He wasn’t smiling and he had a dark look on his smug face, but I could tell he was both happy but worried. He truly cared about me. ‘’Does my kitten enjoy this?’’ He purred and curled his long finger against me soft walls, hitting a spot that made me moan loudly. He noticed and kept pressing his finger against that magic spot. 

‘’Y-Yes’’ I answered him and tried to buck my hips, but it was useless. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers while using his other hand to pleasure me. Once he pulled out his finger, he pushed back two. This time he had more difficulties getting both in smoothly. I gulped and realized that it hurt a little. J saw it on my face and he stopped. ‘’Relax’’ He reminded me and used his thumb to rub my clit. ‘’Keep going’’ I told him a little unsurely. He listened to me and fingered me with two fingers, but he couldn’t get both fully in. My head leaned against the pillows and I squeezed his hand, but I still moaned out in both pleasure and pain. Soon he managed to get both fingers in and he pressed the magic spot again. 

‘’Fuck yes’’ I breathed out sharply. ‘’It wasn’t that hard to find’’ He told me proudly. I guess the magic spot was my G-spot. He was still slow with his fingers, but I wanted more now that I got more used to it. I wanted to feel him in me, to be connected with him. ‘’J’’ I whispered nervously and looked into his dark eyes. ‘’Yes baby?’’ He answered quickly and stopped moving his fingers. I felt how my juices stained the sheets. I couldn’t help but to think of the chance of bleeding.

‘’I want you’’ I told him honestly. J pulled out his fingers and climbed closer to my face. ‘’Do you want me now?’’ He questioned me with his sexy raspy voice and touched my bottom lips with the fingers he just used to finger fuck me with. I nodded and opened my mouth so I could taste myself. J pushed his fingers in my mouth and I sucked them clean. ‘’I’ll get a condom’’ He let me know. J pressed a kiss on my stomach, making me smile, before he got up. He walked to the dark brown drawer and opened it, grabbing a condom. Reality hit me again. This was it. I just hoped that he managed to remain as calm as possible. J wasn’t normal, but I couldn’t be happier to share this moment with him. No one else could replace him, never ever in a gazillion years.

J took off his boxers and then I saw his cock. My eyes widened. Now it looked even bigger. Pre-cum was dripping from his tip. He was stone hard. It would be a miracle if this wouldn’t hurt. I mean I barely managed two of his fingers and now that? He was at least nine inches long, at least! ‘’Do you want to put it on?’’ J asked me, knocking me out of my thoughts. He had holding the condom near me. I grabbed it from his hand and then ripped the small package open, revealing a slimy piece of rubber that would keep us away from infections and kids.

Then I looked at his cock. Was I supposed to touch him? What if I’d screw up? J noticed that I was staring, so he decided to speak. ‘’You’re adorable’’ He chuckled and then grabbed my wrist, bringing my hand close to his erection. My hands were trembling because I was so nervous, but damn I wanted this. ‘’Um..How do I know when it’s right?’’ I mumbled, feeling like my brain was running in circles. ‘’I’ll know, just roll it on’’ He encouraged me. His voice was raspier than normally. I grabbed his shaft and tried to keep a gentle touch. I had no idea if it hurt or what it felt like for him. Then I put the condom on his tip and tried to remember what I had learned earlier. I pinched the tip while rolling it on. Then I let go and looked at J for approval.

‘’Good, was it so hard?’’ J asked me and licked his lips. I shook my head no, but to be honest I just wanted to begin. ‘’Now baby girl you need to relax, okay?’’ He looked deep in my eyes while making me lie down on my back. ‘’I will’’ I promised him and took a shaky breath. Joker grabbed my legs and put them on his shoulders. Then he positioned himself close to my entrance, letting the tip touch me but he didn’t push in yet. My nerves were about to kill me.

‘’Hey, look at me’’ J demanded and I was quick to do so. He grabbed my hand and looked deep into my eyes. ‘’Do it’’ I whispered and prepared myself for the pain. I gritted my teeth as he pushed his length inside of me, stretching my walls that had never experienced this. First I couldn’t feel pain, until he got an inch or two in. ‘’Fuck’’ I hissed nervously and tensed my muscles.J stopped and clenched his jaw. This wasn’t easy for him either. ‘’Y/N, take it easy baby’’ He reminded me. Tears stung my eyes, but it was mostly because of my nerves. I had been thinking too much all day and this was the moment all that stress and worry came out. It didn’t hurt so much that I couldn’t handle it.

‘’You’re doing good, now be a good girl for daddy and relax’’ J spoke slowly, but deeply. I nodded and relaxed after taking a deep breath.He kept going slowly. I felt the struggle, since everything was so tight down there. J never broke eye-contact while he entered me. Then as I thought things wouldn’t get worse, I felt a stinging pain. ‘’Ow ow ow’’ I whined and gritted my teeth. J didn’t stop, he kept pushing himself in. I knew that he had torn my hymen. ‘’I know it hurts baby,but it’ll be over soon’’ He promised me seriously. The tears rolled down my face, but I didn’t sob. Then he cupped my cheek and wiped away a tear with his thumb. I liked J like this, which I never expected. 

Soon he was all the way in. J stopped, wanting me to adjust to his size. I was breathing heavily because my nerves were unravelling. It stung and hurt as my walls stretched, but it didn’t get any worse. Actually now that he wasn’t moving, it didn’t hurt too much. ‘’You’re doing so good’’ J purred and tried to stay still. Man he had been weeks without sex and now he had to contain himself, which was a hard task for Joker. I was so glad that he cared about me enough to not hurt me on purpose.

‘’Move’’ I whispered after a while. He nodded and pulled back. I gritted my teeth, but tried to stay relaxed as he moved. J was almost all the way out until he pushed back in, this time a little faster without stopping. I grunted in pain but the pleasure made it bearable. J growled under his breath. I untangled our hands so I could hug him by putting my hands on his strong back. J supported himself a little better now and found a better position. Soon he was finding a slow but steady rhythm. One more single tear rolled down my face until I started to find pleasure coming above the pain. I moaned quite loudly now, allowing J to know that the worst pain was over. He smiled, but it quickly faded as he started to pace up.

My nails raked his back without me noticing. ‘’Fuck J’’ I cried out in pleasure. The feeling was new but so lovely. His big cock rubbed my soft and sensitive walls by every move and once he was in me, his tip hit the magic spot that made my eyes roll to the back of my head. ‘’Do you feel good?’’ He asked me darkly and he gritted his teeth. We were both getting sweaty, but neither of us minded. ‘’Y-Y..ah fuck yes!’’ I wailed out happily. J started breathing heavily and so did I, but I was a moaning mess as well. I bucked my hips against J’s to get more friction. I wanted him to go faster and not be so careful anymore. Just like I read the pain goes away after a few minutes. Now I felt simply amazing.

‘’Faster..’’ I whispered quietly, but he didn’t quite catch it. I knew he wanted to go slow to keep me safe which was sweet. J probably found this hard, since he actually gave a fuck about me. I knew how to make him take me harder tho. ‘’Fuck me harder daddy’’I told him loudly. J slowed down until he stopped. My ass was wet because I was legit dripping arousal. J put his hand on my jaw and looked into my eyes seriously. ‘’Y/N..don’t get me to the point where I can’t control myself’’ He warned me, but I knew he wanted it. Me being the crazy girl who didn’t follow rules anyway did something else.

‘’I know you want to..I can take you daddy’’ I purred and bucked my hips, already missing the feeling of him fucking me. I wanted more. I didn’t even care if it hurt a little bit. ‘’Y/N’’ J growled and shut his eyes. I smirked, knowing that I got him. ‘’I’m all yours daddy, look at me’’ I said innocently. When he opened his eyes I used my left hand to touch my clit. J looked at my actions for a few seconds until he lost it. He grabbed my wrist harshly and pinned it next to my head. ‘’Oh darling you’ll cry soon’’ He warned me angrily. Finally. 

Before I could answer, he grabbed the bedpost and let his anger out on me, just as I expected him to. J pounded himself balls deep in me, making the sound of skin slapping against skin echo in our room and probably the entire penthouse.’’Yes..Yes daddy’’ I gasped and rolled my eyes to the back of my head again. Then I curled my toes and felt a knot forming in my stomach. J was going really hard, harder now that I thought he would. ‘’Is this what you wanted?’’ He growled heatedly. I couldn’t even answer him. The pleasure and pain mixed together had me overwhelmed. My mouth was open and I was gasping between my loud cries of pleasure. The look in J’s eyes was so sexy but dangerous.

I had awakened a beast.

J kept slamming his entire length in me, until a strong feeling seemed to come closer. I guess I was close to an orgasm. Although I also read that most women don’t come the first time, or even the first few times. ‘’J’’ I tried to say his name, but it came out as a whisper. J growled and kept doing this hard work. A shiver ran down my spine and I struggled to breathe. It felt so good. ‘’J’’ I tried again and it came out a little louder. ‘’You’re close, I know’’ he let me know. Tomorrow would be a day I’d find it hard to walk. I just felt it.

As the feeling grew stronger, tears stung my eyes again. I wanted to let go so bad, but I found it hard. I blinked, letting the tears wash down my face. But the roughness was fucking amazing. I knew I wasn’t normal. ‘’Ah-’’ I screamed, but fell silent as a wave of pleasure washed across my entire body, feeling like a good slap. It’s like all my other senses numbed down, only allowing me to feel the amazing feeling. It made my abdomen muscles tense. I curled my toes and used my free hand to dig my nails into J’s back.

After a while I came back to my senses, still feeling like heaven, but something unexpected happened. I got super sensitive. It’s like every move J did was like twenty times more sensitive. ‘’J’’ I whimpered, still recovering from that hard orgasm. He didn’t stop yet. I screamed out and my body started shaking. I was pushing him, but I wanted more. I wanted this, but my body couldn’t handle much more. J noticed and then stopped. He pulled out and put my legs down. I squeezed them together, panting hard on the bed now. J took off the condom and I watched as he came seconds later. His cum cum shot on my body, landing on my stomach. His entire hot load just pooled on my skin as I panted.

For some reason I liked that dirty sight of being covered in his cum. But now I felt like I was on fire, but it was so worth it. J was breathing heavily and he ran his hand through his hair. I cracked a smile and I looked at my boyfriend. Suddenly I felt much closer to him, it’s like we were more serious. ‘’Thank you’’ I whispered tiredly, but I was so happy. J  looked into my eyes more calmly now. ‘’Well it’s not over yet doll face. I need to run you a bath, you’re bleeding’’ He let me know. My eyes widened. Then I sat up, ignoring the burning sensation. He was right. There was a little blood on the sheets. Fuck.

I wasn’t sure if he was angry or not, but I still grew nervous.’’Shit sorry..I-I’ll clean up’’ I promised him quickly. Before I could panic more, J cupped my face and kissed me. It took me by surprise, but I kissed him back. The kiss was sweet and salty, but it sure calmed me down. Then J grabbed my wrists and let me put my hands on his chest. ‘’Oh kitten just take it easy, it’s fine. Daddy isn’t mad at you’’ He assured me. ‘’I lov..’’ I started, but quickly shut up. His smile faded. Joker never told anyone those three words, at least not that I knew of it. He knew how to show his emotions, especially when he got protective over me or when he wanted to spend time with me. He knew it as well ,but so far he had never said that he loved me. I was kinda nervous now. Everything went well, but I went and tried to say those words to him.

Way to go.

‘’I loved it’’ I cleared my throat, talking about the sex. Maybe he’d think through it. J sighed and then stood up. I thought he’d leave me alone, but instead he picked me up in his strong arms. So he carried me to the master bathroom. ‘’I know what you were going to say Y/N’’ he admitted ,but I was unsure if he was angry at me or not. He wasn’t obvious like an open book. No, Joker was a nut that was hard to crack, but I was going the right way. ‘’Sorry’’ I whispered and looked down. He put me on my feet and locked the white bathroom door. My legs were numb, kinda feeling like jelly. So I sat on the edge of the tub quickly. Then I watched as J let the warm water fill the big tub, big enough for two.

‘’Don’t be sorry’’ He started a little angrily. Well sherlock it wasn’t easy not to be. I didn’t want to ruin a perfect night with my own stupid feelings in words. J kneeled down in front of me and rested his head on my knees. ‘’Do you mean it?’’ He wanted to know. A blush spread on my already rosy cheeks. Then I nodded, a little scared if I had to be honest. Instead of getting mad at me like I expected him to be, instead of hitting me neither, he did the opposite.

‘’Well..I think that’s good, so I know our feelings are mutual’’ He let me know mysteriously. Just as I expected, he wouldn’t say ‘I love you’ but he found a way to let me know. 

Well this was a perfect valentine’s day..

Happy Tuesday.

I’m calling it “Yurio Catches Puberty” as a working title. (PG for swearing and puberty.) (Warning for body image stuff, very minor.) 

***

“WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER?”

The scream of anguish from the rink’s locker room shower made Yuuri look up sharply. He’d only arrived in St. Petersburg yesterday, but this couldn’t be normal, even if nobody else seemed to be paying the slightest attention.

“AUGH!”

It was definitely Yurio.

“Yurio?” he started to ask, but Georgi clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Don’t engage,” he hissed.

Yuuri looked at him, wide-eyed.

“What’s going on?” he whispered, as Yurio began a steady, at least quieter stream of cursing in Russian, then English, then Japanese that Yuuri definitely hadn’t taught him.

“Puberty,” Georgi said.

Yuuri blinked. “Puberty?” he asked.

Georgi gave him a disgusted look. “Of course,” he mumbled to himself. “The golden boy didn’t suffer puberty…”

He wandered off, now also cursing, and Yuuri had ten seconds of silence before Yurio kicked the shower door open and strode out, towel around his waist.

(There is a readmore below! Read more!)

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Flirting is Hard When You’re Harry Potter

Original headcanon by @ harry-is-lily-ginny-is-james!!!

It’s still monday! …for a half an hour anyway. This one ended up being much bigger than I originally planned. I hope you like it~

(Now posted on AO3!)



“It’s all the paper talks about anymore,” Draco frowned, “Stupid Potter.”

“We’re agog,” Blaise said pouring himself and Draco a cup of coffee.

Pansy smothered a yawn and picked up a piece of toast, “Do tell.”

Draco folded his paper, eyes scanning past the picture to the drivel written below, “Potter’s going to join the auror’s, change the world,” he grumbled, “you’d think the sun shines out of his arsehole the way they go on about him.”

Pansy rolled her eyes.

“Couldn’t agree more,” A voice said behind him from the Ravenclaw table, “that Potter’s a total pillock.”

“Exactly-” Draco turned on his bench, his words choking off before they were halfway out of his mouth.

“I really don’t know what they see in him,” Potter said flatly, taking a massive bite of pancake.

Luna smiled absently at Potter’s side, “I don’t know, I’ve always thought he was quite nice.”

Potter picked up his pumpkin juice, “To-tal pil-lock.”

Draco felt his face go hot and he spun around back to his plate. Blaise quickly picked up his coffee cup to hide a growing smile. Pansy snorted, almost choking on her toast, she ducked her head and fumbled for her cup.

Draco grabbed his bag and left the table with an imperious sniff.

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Yuri on Ice 2017/02/11 all night event report

I’m back from the event and I’ll write a report before going to sleep, mostly because I’m sure I will not be able to decipher my scribbles when I wake up… It’s not the full talk show since you can’t record it and also I couldn’t possibly write down everything, but I tried to take note of most things, especially stuff that has never been mentioned elsewhere. In the end it became quite long so I guess I was able to get most of the stuff down…

Needless to say it’s my notes, so other people might write about parts I omitted, etc. To be honest quite a few of the things they said especially in the beginning, like what the seiyuu think about their characters, is something I’ve read so many times in interviews that I could almost answer in their place, lol… I was a bit disappointed that one of the questions that was answered is the one about Chris’ mysterious acquaintance, because actually Kubo answered that in Pash already (it’s in the Q&A part I’ll be translating later), and I hoped they would feature questions about stuff that hasn’t been explained yet. Well I guess not everybody reads interviews, but still…

Due to the format of the report you can find my comments here and there, mostly in brackets.
Under the cut because it’s long.

I forgot to mention something important: the ones participating in the talk show were Mitsurou Kubo, Toshiyuki Toyonaga (Yuuri), Junichi Suwabe (Victor), Kouki Uchiyama (Yurio).

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Truth May Vary

Yes, hi, excuse me, passing through, dropping crap all over the fandom. 

Hi. So, I did the prompt! @pink-paladin-lance hope you like it, tho I didn’t made it as angsty bc I craved fluffiness and well, …yeah. Hope you like it anyways!

Ps. Long Post. So yeah! No warnings? Just mean aliens, psh. 

Nothing much to say? Enjoy! 

Disclaimer: Voltron doesn’t belong to me and the idea come from @pink-paladin-lance (:

Edit: ….Did i fixed it the damn problem or? 


“Alright! Another win for Voltron!” Hunk shouts animatedly as he wraps an arm around Keith’s shoulder, shaking him as he cheers, “Did you guys see how Keith dodged that laser beam when one of the Galras tried to sneak up on him? Keith, buddy, that was amazing! You totally flipped them!”

Keith laughs as he takes off his helmet and brushes Hunk’s praise off. “What? No, come on! Are you kidding? Were you even present when your Lion completely crushed that rock and saved the entire village? Because I was and it was out of this planet, man.”

“Okay, guys, but I think I speak for everyone that the best part was when we formed Voltron and we completely destroyed that Robeast because Shiro’s plan was on point!” Pidge cuts in, grinning behind her shoulder to meet their leader, “If it hadn’t been for your quick thinking, the battle would have taken a lot longer.”

Shiro chuckles from his place besides Allura and waves the compliments off with a hand. “No way. The plan was a success because your plants held the Robeast long enough for us to make a move, Pidge. You have been improving a lot since the day we found of about your Lion’s power.”

Lance watches from the sidelines as he stands besides Coran, a few feet away from the team. He smiles fondly as he hears them cheer and praise each other, their adrenaline and enthusiasm that always come from a winning battle still running through their blood.

“Wait, wait, but did you guys notice when Lance –” Keith’s sentence is suddenly cut off when the Prince of the Royal Family from the Kingdom they just saved clears his throat abruptly, catching everyone’s attention and making Keith’s proud grin to dim, replacing it with a frown.

“On behalf of my people and my Mother, I would like to express our gratitude towards the brave Paladins of Voltron who saved us today and forevermore, for it is their duty to defend and serve this Universe from the claws of evil.” The Prince says, voice high and powerful.

He stares into each of the Paladin’s eyes before they fall on Allura. “Princess Allura, please, as a thank you, allow us to escort you and the entire team to our Castle in order to present you an exquisite and well deserved banquet in your honor.”

Allura smiles and opens her mouth to respond but Lance’s voice beats her to it.

“Sure, dude!” He shouts happily, walking a few steps until he’s standing beside Allura and Shiro. “A banquet is always appreciated! I mean, Voltron really kicked some serious ass today if you know what I mean.” Lance can hear the way his team groan and chuckle at his words, too used to Lance’s cocky facade and he can feel Allura’s playful smack of her hand on his ribs.

Lance’s grin fades when the Price stares down at him unamused and something inside him drops unpleasantly.

“Blue…Paladin, of course.” The Prince says, a bore and uninterested tone on the back of his tone as he forces a rigid polite smile, “While I agree with you on the fact that Voltron surely won this battle by their own hands, I have to ask…”

He pauses, letting his words linger in the air as he takes a step towards Lance and clicks his tongue.

“Why are you on the team? I’m sure that your … talents, if you even have some, can be of much assistance back in the Castle.”

Lance’s smile falls and he hears the way someone behind him takes a sharp intake of breath but Lance doesn’t bother to turn around to found out who exactly.

“Well, I am the Blue Paladin. I have to be where the team is, of course.” Lance says, mouth twitching in what he hopes to be a smile but ends up being a grimace.

The Prince clicks his tongue once again and shakes his head as if in disappointment. “Ah, my apologies, Blue Paladin. I had just assumed that you were just filling the spot for the time being until the true Blue Paladin claimed the title.”

Lance doesn’t need to turn around to know what’s happening behind his back. He can feel the tense air that has settled on the team. He can hear the hard shallow pants from Hunk’s end as the Yellow Paladin tries to suppress the urge to lunge at the Prince. He can hear the soft faint sound of Shiro’s arm activating itself along with Keith’s bayard. He can even feel Pidge’s deathly glare that goes through him to get to their target that is the Prince.

He feels the grip of Allura’s hand on his suit tighten and the way Coran’s hand find its way until it’s resting on his shoulder.

But the Prince doesn’t. He doesn’t see, feel or sense any of what Lance does because they are not his team, they are Lance’s.

The Prince continues.

“No offense, Blue Paladin, but I had actually thought that Princess Allura here was the rightful Paladin for the Blue Lion. Having her leadership and power aside, she seems to be such a good fit for the title.”

Lance doesn’t disagree.

“Of course, I might be wrong. After all, there must be a reason why you are fighting besides Voltron itself. I speak out only because I believe your talents have been blurred by being surrounded by such powerful people and I’m merely concerned about the efficiency in future battles, thinking that your efforts may not be good enough –”

Lance can’t even come up with a response because suddenly there’s a body rushing past him and then Keith is standing there, pressing his Marmora Blade against the Prince’s neck.

“Would you like to say that again? Just to make sure I have the right motive to make you regret those words?” Keith hisses, face inches away from the Prince’s.

“Keith.” Coran calls, sharp and with a hidden warning, “Step back from the Prince, right now, Young Paladin.”

“But Coran –!”

Right now.

Keith growls but ends up taking a step back, his scowl deep in his face as he glares at the Prince from a distance.

“Prince Yult,” Allura says, voice tight and on edge as she releases Lance’s suit and takes a step forward, “While we appreciate your hospitality, you have no right to –”

“Princess Allura, if I may?” Lance cuts off, quiet but firm as he raises his chin high, staring at her evenly.

Allura stares right back, eyebrows furrowed in confusion before she nods.

“Prince Yult.” Lance addresses respectfully and waits until the royal nods at him before he continues, “I can understand your confusion about my position as a Paladin and your concern around the topic. My team’s talent and power is unmeasured and it’s not something anyone can live up to.”

“Lance…” Keith mumbles behind him but Lance continues.

“Which is why I must ask of you, not to doubt my team’s efficiency based on their one weakness that is me.”

“Lance, that’s enough.” Shiro snaps, low and dangerous but Lance doesn’t stop.

“Rest reassured, your highness.” Lance smiles, tight and forced, “That Voltron shall continue winning more battles and I will not be a liability to the team.”

“Buddy, come on, stop –”

“Now, if you excuse me, your highness.” Lance says, cutting Hunk’s plead short, “I shall take my leave. I’m sure the rest of the team would love to meet the Queen, but I sadly need to go back to the Castle and stand guard.”

Lance doesn’t wait for an answer. He turns around, ignoring the way Keith reaches out to him and how the rest of the team calls his name.

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Top 10 times my heart broke for Rhysand

#1 When she never smiled at him

I waited for you at breakfast, but you slept in. Or avoided me, apparently. And I tried to catch your eye this afternoon, but you were so good at shutting me out completely.” “Is that what got under your skin? That I shut you out, or that it was so easy for Tarquin to get in?” “What got under my skin,” Rhys said, his breathing a bit uneven, “is that you smiled at him.” The rest of the world faded to mist as the words sank in. “You are jealous.”

and that one time she finally did

His fingers tightened on mine, and I looked up. He was smiling at me. And looked so un-High-Lord-like with the glowing dust on the side of his face that I grinned back. I hadn’t even realized what I’d done until his own smile faded, and his mouth parted slightly. “Smile again,” he whispered. I hadn’t smiled for him. Ever. Or laughed. Under the Mountain, I had never grinned, never chuckled. And afterward … And this male before me … my friend … For all that he had done, I had never given him either. Even when I had just … I had just painted something. On him. For him. I’d—painted again. So I smiled at him, broad and without restraint. “You’re exquisite,” he breathed.

#2 When Rhys confessed to having his wishes unfulfilled

“Isn’t that what High Lords do?” My breath clouded in front of me in the brisk night. “Whatever they please?” He studied my face. “There are a great many things that I wish to do, and don’t get to.”

#3 When we find out what his nightmares were about

“I’m sorry I didn’t find a way to spare you from what happened Under the Mountain,” Rhys said with equal quiet. “From dying. From wanting to die.” I began to shake my head, but he said, “I have two kinds of nightmares: the ones where I’m again Amarantha’s whore or my friends are … And the ones where I hear your neck snap and see the light leave your eyes.”

#4 When the High Lord of Night Court physically flinched from an emotional wound

“What is it that you want, Feyre?” I had no answer. I didn’t know. Not anymore. “What is it that you want, Feyre?” I stayed silent. His laugh was bitter, soft. “I thought so. Perhaps you should take some time to figure that out one of these days.” “Perhaps I don’t know what I want, but at least I don’t hide what I am behind a mask,” I seethed. “At least I let them see who I am, broken bits and all. Yes—it’s to save your people. But what about the other masks, Rhys? What about letting your friends see your real face? But maybe it’s easier not to. Because what if you did let someone in? And what if they saw everything, and still walked away? Who could blame them—who would want to bother with that sort of mess?” He flinched. The most powerful High Lord in history flinched. And I knew I’d hit hard—and deep. Too hard. Too deep.

and when we learned how deep that wound went

“Why didn’t you tell me?” “You were in love with him; you were going to marry him. And then you… you were enduring everything and it didn’t feel right to tell you.” “I deserved to know.” “The other night you told me you wanted a distraction, you wanted fun. Not a mating bond. And not to someone like me - a mess.” So the words I’d spat after the Court of Nightmares had haunted him

#5 When he considered settling for ‘whatever pieces she offered him’

“You think I didn’t want to tell you? You think I liked hearing you wanted me only for amusement and release? You think it didn’t drive me out of my mind so completely that those bastards shot me out of the sky because I was too busy wondering if I should tell you, or wait - or maybe take whatever pieces that you offered me and be happy with it? Or that maybe I should let you go so you don’t have a lifetime of assassins and High Lords hunting you down for being with me?”

#6 When he cried…

“But then she snapped your neck.” Tears rolled down his face. “And I felt you die,” he whispered.

But I was being ripped apart from the inside out, and I thrashed, unable to out-scream the pain. “Feyre!” someone roared. No, not someone—Rhysand. Rhysand yelled my name again - yelled it as though he cared 

-A Court of Thornes and Roses

#7 When he spent 3 months thinking she hated him

“And for three months… for three months I tried to convince myself that you were better off without me. I tried to convince myself that everything I’d done had made you hate me.”

#8 When he put her happiness above his own

“I heard you were going to marry him, and I told myself you were happy. I should let you be happy, even if it killed me. Even if you were my mate, you’d earned that happiness.”

#9 When he thought he wasn’t that type of person for her

“I heard what you told him,” he said. “That you thought it would be easy to fall in love with him. You meant it, too.” “So?” It was the only thing I could think of to say. “I was jealous—of that. That I’m not … that sort of person. For anyone.“

#10 When we found out that all this time he had been in love with Feyre

“It killed me, Feyre, to send you back. To see you waste away, month by month. It killed me to know he was sharing your bed. Not just because you were my mate, but because I … ” He glanced down, then up at me again. “I knew … I knew I was in love with you that moment I picked up the knife to kill Amarantha.”

Quotes from ACOMAF and ACOTAR

On a happier note: Another Top 10 for Rhys

170224 BTS Mokdong Fansign

Q: Taehyung-ah
Taetae, you have a low alcohol tolerance, right? You usually drink coke. What alcohol and how much can you drink?

Taehyung: One bottle

Fan: Hansung is cute.
Taehyung: Ah, really? 
(He probably thought the response was bad) 
Taehyung: I want to try to act in Crows Zero~
Fan: Isn’t that going to be a scary role?
Taehyung: It doesn’t have to be a scary role, I want to wear uniform. 
Fan: Wow, that would be so cool.
Taehyung: I want to play Serizawa, he’s so cool. While acting in the drama, I’ll be the Taetae-san that speaks Japanese.

Q: Will we be able to see Agust D’s solo concert this year? I want to hear ‘So Far Away’ live on the concert.

Yoongi: I will think about it

Yoongi: Name?
Fan: I’m OO.
Yoongi: Ah, are you Japanese? (in Japanese)
Fan: Wah, (you’re speaking in) Japanese!?
Yoongi: Because I’ve studied Japanese.
(the fan heard him say ‘because I’m genius Suga’)
Fan: I’ll be going to the concert, the next one is at Tokyo Dome right~
Yoongi: Yes, Tokyo Dome.
Fan: I’ll be waiting in Tokyo.
Yoongi: Can’t wait!

Q: Namjoon ah
I’m looking forward to your mix tape! Please say something before the release! (When will it be released?)

Namjoon: Just getting ready ♡ 

Fan: Namjoon~
Namjoon: Ooh OO-san~ (in Japanese)
Fan: What language should we talk in? (in English)
Namjoon: I don’t mind. (in English) But your English is good. Where did you learn it? In Japan?
Fan: I studied in Japan~ I didn’t study abroad. (in English)
Namjoon: Not at all? (in English)
Fan: Yes. (in English)
Namjoon reads the post-it-note
Namjoon: That’s sweet. (in Japanese)
Fan: Sweet?
Namjoon: I’ll work hard preparing it~

Q: Hoseok ah~ 
I’m looking forward to your mix tape! Please say your resolution before the release! (When will it be released?)

Hoseok: I’m working hard on it, so please anticipate a lot 

Hoseok: Oh~ Mixtape~ Please look forward to it~
Fan: I can’t wait~ When will you release it?
Hoseok: Hmm~ I have a lot of work these days~
Fan: I think Hoseok-san is beautiful, what’s your secret?
Hoseok: I’ve received a lot of love, that’s why.
Fan: That’s difficult.
Hoseok: Because of everyone, I’m able to receive so much love.
Fan: I’m looking forward to your mixtape.

Q: Jimin-ah
Sniper Jimin-ah! Pierce my heart with 5 characters! (You can’t write ‘I love you’)

Jimin: I missed you (he wrote in Japanese because of the fan)

Fan: 5 characters?
Jimin: あいたかった…? (he counts with his hand)
Fan: … (in Japanese, it’s 6 characters…)
Fan: Since you have pink hair~ (passes something in pink to him)
Jimin: (laughs)
Fan: (dies of cuteness)
Fan: It’s a present~ (passes the bag)
Jimin seems to be the type to either concentrate on writing or speaking.

Q: You don’t upload cover songs these days, but will you upload (them)?

Jin: I will work hard and upload 

Fan: Are you still studying Japanese?
Jin: Yes, I’m studying diligently!
Fan: I went to the concert and your solo stage was so cool. AWAKE.
Jin: Ah, really?
Fan: If you can have solo activities, what would you like to do?
Jin: I want to try everything.
Fan: Next concert is at Tokyo Dome, right? I’ll be waiting in Tokyo!

Q: My Twitter icon is a sheep, can you draw a sheep?

Jungkook: *drawing*

Fan: You said you’ve learnt Japanese, so can we speak in Japanese?
Jungkook: Ok
Fan: English too?
Jungkook: Not in English, not yet ㅋㅋㅋ
Artist Jungkook draws a sheep
Fan: Isn’t that a lion…?
Jungkook: ㅋㅋㅋ

Source
Trans: KIMMYYANG

Coffee and Crosswords

Request 3!

Tags: muggle au, coffee shop au, Hermione is a great wingman, Pansy is a tolerant wingman, crosswords, the smoothest pickup line of all time.

(Also posted on AO3)


“This is my favorite new coffee shop,” Hermione said, the bell over the door chiming softly as they stepped into the bright, high-ceilinged shop. “Go sit down,” Hermione pointed to an empty table near the counter, “I’ll order for you. I promise you’ll love it.”

Harry made his way over to the table and slid into a seat. It was the only empty table in the busy store, through everyone seated already had their drinks so of the two baristas only one was actually working, a young woman with her short black hair cut into a blunt bob.

The other employee was bent over a newspaper, folded in half at the crossword. He was tall and lean with impossibly white blond hair that would fall over his eyes whenever he bent over to fill in an answer. He rolled a blue pen in his long fingers, his brow creasing faintly in thought. Harry watched spellbound as the gorgeous blond tapped the pen on his mouth and then bit the end absentmindedly, his eye teeth sinking into the plastic.

“Harry?”

Harry started and flushed, “Y-yeah?”

Hermione followed where Harry had been looking and grinned, “He’s cute.”

Harry groaned, “Please, no, ‘Mione.”

She rolled her eyes, “You’re no fun.” She dug around in her massive shoulder bag and pulled out a book, settling back in her chair and opening it to her place, “Don’t mind me.” she shooed at him with one hand, her eyes already glued to her book, “Go back to your staring.”

Harry felt himself flush, but despite his embarrassment, found his eyes pinned on the blond again. He had paused from chewing on the pen to press his lips together into a thin line and slowly relax them, tracing the shape of his bottom lip with the end of the pen.

The blond looked over at the black haired girl, “Hey, Pansy, what’s a ten letter word for 'smitten’?”

Pansy had her back to him, finishing their drinks, and shrugged dismissively.

“You’re absolutely no help whatsoever,” he retorted with airy dismay.

“Says the one doing the crossword instead of working,” Pansy muttered just loud enough to carry.

Harry bit his bottom lip and impulsively blurted out, “Captivated.”

Harry didn’t think the blond could be any more attractive until he looked over at Harry with the most amazing pale grey-blue eyes, framed by pale lashes only a little darker than his hair.

Harry swallowed hard, “A ten letter word for smitten, captivated.”

“Hmm…” the blond looked down at the paper and shook his head, “No. The 'ed’ at the end is right through,” he leaned over on the counter, “any other ideas?”

“Fascinated?” Harry said, his mind already winging ahead for other words that might fit, his hand under the table counting out letters of words.

The blond glanced down and then back up, a smirking smile on his mouth, “Nope.”

“How about….” Harry’s brow furrowed and he chewed his bottom lip, “…Infatuated?”

He glanced down and smiled triumphantly, “That’s it!” the pen scratched across the newspaper filling in the missing word.

Pansy bumped the blond with her hip and pushed two cups into his hands, “Be useful Draco,” she nodded at their table.

“Your name is Draco?” Harry asked as the blond walked around the counter carrying the two cups.

Draco nodded with a grimace, “Constellation names are somewhat of a tradition in my family.”

“Um, I’m Harry,” Harry said hurriedly as Draco slid the cups onto the table.

“Nice to meet you, Harry,” Draco smiled.

Hermione pulled out her phone, which absolutely hadn’t gone off, and said, “Well, would you look at that, it’s Ron. Sorry, Harry, I have to get going. Wouldn’t want to keep my boyfriend waiting.” She pulled her bag over her shoulder and put her book away in one smooth movement. She was was out the door before Harry could say a word. 

He finally managed a groan and glanced over at Draco, his cheek feeling hot.

Draco was looking faintly flushed himself, “Well. That wasn’t subtle at all.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Harry agreed.

Draco went back to the counter leaning over and grabbing his crossword and pen. “I’m going on break, Pansy.”

“You’re an arsehole, Draco Malfoy,” Pansy retorted without looking up.

Draco came back to Harry’s table, “Is this seat taken?” he asked.

“No, not at all,” Harry said.

Draco sat down across from him, sitting the crossword down in front of himself and helping himself to Hermione’s abandoned latte, “A ten letter word for hopeful starting with P.” He tapped his mouth with the pen and then carefully wrote in, “P-e-r-s-u-a-s-i-v-e.”

“You do a lot of crosswords?” Harry asked.

“There’s a lot of downtime working here,” Draco said, one side of his mouth quirking up in a smile. He barely glanced down at the paper and said, “I need a four letter word for dinner and a movie.”

“A date?” Harry said after a half a seconds thought.

“I’d love to,” Draco said.

Harry let out a startled laugh.

“Too cheesy?” Draco asked.

Harry shook his head with a grin, “How about tomorrow?”

Draco smiled, “I get off at seven.”

spaces in between (m)

Pairing: Fratboy!Jung Hoseok x Reader

Summary: When you were maddeningly in love with your best friend/fuck buddy, bringing him as a date to a wedding was probably not the best idea.

Genre/Count: Smut & Fluff [ NC-17 ]   |   11.7k words

Note: alkewrjaer so excited to finally post this after sitting in my drafts for years. meet m’boy fuccboi!hoseok.


It was never a good idea and you should’ve stopped it from the first time, or the first week, the first month, before it went too far. But you didn’t. You were sucked into his world and him into yours. Although your lives were entangled from the very beginning, it was never meant to go this far.

Hoseok pushed himself into you again, feeling the tightness wrapping snugly around him as he released a low groan of pleasure. “Fuck, you feel so good, always so good.” He buried his face in your neck as you twisted your fingers into the soft strands of his chocolate locks. He growled and thrusted into you over and over, bringing you to the edge. “Babe, shit. Goddamn, you’re so tight. Pussy always so good for me. Only for me.” He jerked his hips particularly hard, hitting that delicious spot inside of you. “Tell me.”

“Only for you,” you echoed in a gasp, head thrown back as your body arched off the bed. His mouth captured one of your peaks. The heat a contrast against the cool of his room. His abs, defined and beautiful, were layered by a sheen layer of sweat as he pounded into you. Moans tumbled from both your lips, swallowed by his mouth covering yours.

“So goddamn beautiful,” he muttered, nipping his way down your jaw and your neck. He knew you hated it when he marked you, hated it because everyone could see. What he didn’t know was that you mostly hated it because it made things more real than it actually was. A whine left your lips as he continued to print shades of blue onto the canvas of your skin. “I’m so close, babe, come with me.”

And you would. You always did, after all. Your fingers found purchase on his broad shoulders as he moved faster, pushing into you deeper and harder. The tension coiled in your stomach as the electricity coursed through your veins and straight to the space between your thighs, space filled by, and only by, Hoseok. The orgasm wracked shudders in your body as you let out a cry, the same time Hoseok groaned into your neck. Heavy breaths heaved your chest as Hoseok pulled out with a small grunt and slumped onto the space next to you.

The two of you laid in silence for a few minutes. The deafening emptiness drawing your fears forward. It always happened. No matter how many times you’ve been in bed with him, you’ve regretted every single one. The two of you were stuck in this limbo with too many questions and not a single answer.

Answers you sought and answers he couldn’t give.

Keep reading

Langst Fic Idea!

- Sheith is alive and strong

- cue insecure Lance. You know that original story of the little mermaid where each step she took was like a thousand pinpricks of sharp needles on her feet, and she danced and danced all night long, ignoring the pain because she was dancing with her prince, and to turn herself into sea foam instead of killing her prince in exchange for her tail back? Yeah, that was totally Lance.

- he jokes around, making everybody laugh, annoys the hell out of Pidge and Keith… he becomes the Lance that the team needed. Not a sharp shooter. Not a capable fighter. Not a strategist. Not a good pilot. Not a person destined to be a defender of the universe. No, Lance became the jester. He became the person that changes the atmosphere when it was too serious or overbearing through ridicule and self deprication hidden beneath a clown mask.

- he convinced himself that that was his role to play and he was good at it. ‘Smile, Lance. The team needs an emotional punching bag and you got the short straw so suck it up.’ He says to himself when they’re in the common room and everyone paired up: Keith and Shiro all curled up in the sofa, whispering things to each other only they can hear; Hunk and Pidge huddled up in one corner tinkering and discussing robotics and the necessary code needed to make the thing work; Allura and Coran discussing diplomatic and trade advantages of the planet they will be visiting. And where was Lance, you ask? He was there, standing in one corner of the room wondering where he’ll sit. Just like high school all over again, oh where should the foreign student sit? The couple’s table? The nerd table? The class president’s table?

- They were about to land on the planet’s surface when they saw hundreds upon hundreds of Galra ships already waiting for them.

- They couldn’t form Voltron so close to the planet’s atmosphere for there may be collateral damage. So the Lions tried to lure the Galra ships away from the planet but it didn’t work. The Galra won this fight, thought Lance as he tried to clear an escape for the other paladins.

- But Shiro didn’t give up. He fought and he fought until he was surrounded by Galran forces. Shiro was caught and Keith screamed as his heart broke into a million pieces.

-Lance was the one who brought back the Black Lion but was unsuccessful to retrieve Shiro.

- The team was a mess, and Lance was there to take the punches. They blamed him for not fighting hard enough, for not making a clear exit for them, for not bringing Shiro back, for not taking the mission seriously… he took it all in.

- But despite everything, Lance was there to comfort his friends. He helped Pidge in completing her prototype, helped Hunk figure out the mechanics of Pidge’s invention, helped Coran in the castle’s maintenance, helped Allura broaden her search parameters, and lastly helped Keith mend his broken heart.

- He felt sick taking advantage of an emotionally vulnerable Keith but he was emotionally beaten too. Keith sought Lance’s humor to take some of the pain away and Lance was happy to oblige.

- Small touches turned to hugs and cuddles. Pecks on the cheeks turned to hot make out sessions, and eventually turned to sex. Lance indulged himself to enjoy these moments with Keith despite the Little Mermaid in him.

- But it didn’t las long.

- One night, after they cleaned up, Keith refused Lance to cuddle him. They sat on opposite sides of the bed and Keith decided to stop whatever they were doing. That Keith’s conscience can’t take it anymore, that he still firmly loved Shiro, and that he thought Lance could take Shiro’s place. He confessed that he sometimes- if not all the time- imagined Lance as Shiro and that he couldn’t so it anymore.

- To be honest, Lance already expected this but he didn’t know that it would hurt this bad. He allowed himself to feel love and gave love more than he should. He should know by now that it would bite him in the ass someday…

-Lance’s heart was beyond repair, so broken that the jagged little pieces no longer fit. He failed in making a clear exit, he failed as a Paladin, and he failed to make Keith happy.

- Lance snuck out that night, grabbing rations from the kitchen and said goodbye to Blue before buckling himself down in one of the fighter jets in the hangar.

- When they woke up the next day, Lance was gone. They checked the cameras and saw Lance take off into the night.

- They were now searching for two paladins of Voltron. They later found out what Lance did to the team’s dynamic, that without him the room is just cold and lonely…

- Days turned to weeks, turned to months, and still no Lance or Shiro.

- it was on day 253 when one beat up space ship crash landed on the castle’s hangar and there emerged Lance…

- he was bleeding profusely on one leg, limping as he shouldered most of Shiro’s weight who was equally as wounded. They were both battered and bruised, all violet, blue and broken bones. It was no mystery that Keith was the first one on the hangar, the first to rush towards them… and it was definitely not a mystery that Keith rushed to Shiro’s side.

- They were escorted back to the castle, but between the crying and the worrying, Lance was able to stealthily slip out of their grasps and limped his way to another fighter jet.

- when they were back in the castle ship, they noticed that Lance wasn’t there. They looked and looked and then realized that Lance flew a fighter het alone, heavily injured, and they have no clue as to why.

- Little do they know that he was captured by the Galra too… that after months of torture and illusions, Lance finally made a deal with Haggar: to let him deliver Shiro to the castle ship and in exchange, take Shiro’s place as their prisoner. Lance thought that it was a good idea for his friends needed Shiro. They needed a leader not a jester.

whew… i was feeling a little down and needed an outlet. Sorry for the Langst?

I made a part 2 and a part 3!

Writing is Hard, Part 5: Headcanons

Summary: Dean shows the reader that there’s truth to a famous headcanon.

Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 3000ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, tag list is closed!) XOXO


“Reading anything good?” Dean asks.

Sam’s inside the gas station, picking up some snacks instead of listening to this conversation, so your face doesn’t feel the need to flush with embarrassment. Dean already knows exactly what you’re reading.

“I guess,” you tell him. No need to feed his ego by telling him how hot the story is.

“What is it?”

Keep reading

A very long time ago @jennthereaper and @simplyn2deep both sent me this prompt, and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long, but the other day I was finally inspired to take a stab at it. I hope you enjoy!

From The Way You Said “I Love You” 

#26 Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

Please, Derek, please, I–“ Stiles chokes back the beginnings of tears and clutches harder at the sleeve of Derek’s jacket. He’s on his knees, having tripped in his scramble to get to Derek from the other side of the loft. “I love you, okay? And I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, I’ve been a coward about this whole thing, but I love you. And I know you love me too. I know you do, and I need you not to leave like this, fuck, Derek, please don’t do this.”

Derek stares down at him for a long time, heart clenched in his throat.

And then he looks up at where the other Stiles is pursing his lips in a hard frown as he watches the scene.

“It isn’t real?” Derek asks for the hundredth time since the other Stiles, the real Stiles, showed up in this apparent dreamscape.

Stiles shakes his head stiffly.

The Stiles on the floor is still pleading with him around tears, but the noises of his despair are starting to fade, as if Derek were now hearing him from a distance. Even his heartbeat, a sound that Derek has been clinging to as an anchor for what feels like forever, begins to disappear.

Derek swallows and steels himself against feeling anything more than determination to get through this newest mess.

“What now?” he asks, tone clinical and firm.

Stiles answers him in a similar tone, his expression betraying nothing about what’s going on in his own head. A far cry from the Stiles that Derek first met a couple years ago, terrified and mouthy and young. “Now you wake up.”

Keep reading

Mine

Originally posted by worldstyles

REQUEST: Jealous Harry smut

HARRY’S TEXTS // (Y/N)’S TEXTS

Keep reading

FACTS ABOUT CONNOR MURPHY (spoilers)

So I have decided to post all the facts and hints about Connor Murphy’s past that are shown in the musical. It’s hard to make out considering people in the fandom usually focus on the lies Evan tells to figure out Connor’s personality.

To get this conclusion (which I will post in a second) I literally skipped all scenes concerning Evan’s lies and went directly to the Murphy family and what they say. None of these facts/hints involve what Evan said about Connor.

First of all, I’ll say now that I have put my own interpretation on each of these facts.

And so, I will put all FACTS in BOLD.
Anything out of bold is my own interpretation and how I see it to be. It’s up to you to agree with me or disagree.

First, I will post my conclusions on each family member, and then afterwards, I will post the reasons for each one.

Zoe

Zoe was an emotional and verbal abuse victim. There is no evidence of physical abuse, although there were threats that could have potentially led to that. She has all the right to not grieve over Connor, in all honesty, she could have sent him to the police for what he did, but as an abuse victim, that is very hard to do. Connor was probably the cause of most of her insecurities and she hated him for that. The unhealthy habit of taking out his anger on the nearest person to him probably made him lash out at his sister whenever he had a panic attack. Judging by how he really did care enough to keep the creepy letter about his sister, written by Evan, in his pocket for 3 days before he committed suicide, it’s safe to say that he really regretted being mean to his sister and actually cared about her.

Connor’s mom, Cynthia

Connor’s mom was a woman obsessed with reputation. She’s known as the rich man’s wife, and wants more than anything to be a regular family. But because her son had mental illnesses, her perfect image was ruined. She acted as though she was there for him but when it came down to it, she did nothing. She pushed for therapy but after a while, her husband took him out of it because “it wasn’t worth the money,” and she basically went, “welp, I tried.” I will quote what I say later: Connor’s mom might not actually be sad that her son is gone, but rather, she’s ashamed that her family actually doesn’t care. It seems like Connor’s mom is filled with regret for not being there for her son, and she’s forcing her family to act like they regretted it too, because that’s what a real family should have been like. But this is only a personal theory.

Connor’s dad, Larry

Connor’s dad might be one of the main sources of his depression. It is very obvious to me that Connor’s dad believed him to be a disappointment. He didn’t grieve for his dead son and only played along to make his wife happy. He’s annoyed by the whole situation. It even seemed like he hated the fact that there was fake remnants of his son in Evan. Almost like he wished Connor wasn’t friends with Evan so he could just forget all about him and not need to deal with it. At some point he was a kind father. When they went to the orchard together for picnics, it seems like they were a happy family. Connor’s dad had played with their toy plane together and had some great memories. The whole family practically forgot about this, though. Connor’s dad didn’t cry at his own dead son’s funeral. I think that sums it up.

Connor Murphy

Connor was a complicated person. He had many different mental illnesses. I could research which ones he probably had, but there’s probably already a post somewhere on it already. One thing for sure, is that he was unstable. He might not have been like that his whole life, but at the time of knowing him, the time he was briefly alive in the show, he was incredibly unstable. Everything and anything could set him off, and he probably hated that about himself as well. Pushing away everyone near him that could possibly help and hating himself for doing so, spiraling himself into a closed minded world of self-hate and regret, which is something that many people can relate to, including me. He did a lot of horrible things to his sister and to his family. I don’t blame his family for not actually grieving him, he was a really bad person. The problem is, he could have been a good person as well. He had all the potential to get better. He talked to Evan, probably wishing to say sorry about pushing him earlier in the hall. He was trying, he wanted to try. He wanted to get better. He just gave up too soon.

This post is very long! I’m sorry. If you’d like to read more, I’m putting the reasons I’ve come to these conclusions under the cut.

Remember, ALL FACTS ARE IN BOLD. Anything else is my personal interpretation.

Keep reading

Outlining your novel scene by scene (Part 1)

Did you ever feel bored midway writing a scene? Or lukewarm? Do you feel like readers will jump full chunks of text?

Well, I used to feel that all the time.

I disliked outline with a passion. I thought it stole the magic away from creation. I thought it would trap my story in a box. Whenever I tried, I had no idea where to start, so I blamed outlining all over again. I would just write the first scene and allow my story to unfold itself. Although it is fun to let your story take the lead, it’s also chaotic.

I realized the importance of outlining on my third book. After months and months of hard work, my story turned out just… boring. Weak characters. A plot full of holes. No defined theme. Useless scenes. And a story that started with a goal, but changed so many times along the pages and accomplished almost nothing. Slow. Tedious. I was frustrated. I had to delete more than half to make it work. Even after rewriting, I wasn’t happy. That project was a major fail.

Originally posted by failworldblog

And failing was good, because, on my next project, I outlined. 

I listed all arcs and, within the arcs, all scenes. I was mad. I wanted control. I wanted power. And I only sat down to write when I knew exactly what was going to happen from start to finish. I never wrote something that fast and effortlessly in my life. It didn’t take away the magic of writing, it simply gave me a sense of direction.

Outline is a map. And when you have a map, you have a journey to make.

Originally posted by artymissk

If, like me, you are a bit lost, here’s how you can create the map for your next novel, or how to outline your book scene by scene. I’ll share with you three techniques, but will divide them into three posts. This is the part one. Or the Map Technique.

I advice you to grab pen and paper, and move away from the computer. Find a comfortable spot, maybe a coffee shop, or by your window. And let’s work!

Originally posted by sashabloodsoup

Before outlining, write down your storyline in one phrase. I’ll be using an example to help you understand this technique. So, my storyline is:

Masked twins fight against a violent dictatorship.

Now, let’s start.

In every journey, we need a departure point and an arrival point. This is essential for a map. And, if it’s essential for a map, it’s essential for our outline. So, create the start (departure) and the end (arrival) of your story. With my example, it goes:

  • Twins have their lives destroyed by the government (departure)
  • They destroy the government (arrival)

Amazing!! Our map is taking form. 

What else a journey must have? Milestones. Without milestones, we don’t know how far we are from the arrival. They are essential as well. But how can we put milestones in an outline? Easy. Between departure and arrival, you will list every important arc (or event, or key scene, or plot point) that must happen in order to take the plot from start to end. More or less like this:

  • Twins have their lives destroyed by the government (departure)
    • Their family is destroyed
    • They are taken in by their uncle
    • Uncle and twins plan their revenge
    • Twins find their mask
    • Twins perform small acts of justice
    • They gain the respect of the citizens
    • Government sees them as threat
    • Government tries to erase them
    • Twins perform huge acts of justice
    • They are almost killed 
    • Uncle is killed
    • They perform one last act of justice by killing the dictator
    • Citizens claim for democracy
    • Democracy is installed
    • The twins destroy their masks 
  • They destroy the government (arrival)

All milestones are placed, nothing too fancy, just a description of what we’ll be seeing along the journey. Good. 

From milestone to milestone, we have roads, or sequences of roads. Between arcs, write down sequences of scenes that must happen to move the plot forward. For example: 

  • Twins have their lives destroyed by the government (departure)
    • Their family is destroyed
      • Twins live with their father (who is an important journalist)
      • Father is abducted by the government
      • Social worker takes them to lonely uncle
    • They are taken in by their uncle
      • Twins and uncle can’t adjust to new life
      • They are all filled with grief
      • Uncle comes up with revenge plan
    • Uncle and twins plan their revenge
      • Twins trains while uncle perfects his plan
      • Twins and uncle adjust to new life
      • They become a family
    • Twins find their mask
      • Getting ready for their first step
    • Twins perform small acts of justice
      • They destroy factory that uses slave force
      • They kill politician who closed hospitals
      • They kill a famous torturer for the government party
      • They find their father’s file
      • Discover that father was tortured and killed
    • They gain the respect of the citizens

We are almost there… 

Because, in every mile of the road, we have landscapes. Scenes are landscapes. And we need hundreds of different landscapes along the journey, beautiful ones, strange ones, unexpected ones… we need scenes. To every sequence, create as many scenes as you need:

  • Twins have their lives destroyed by the government (departure)
    • Their family is destroyed
      • Twins live with their father (who is an important journalist)
        • Father receives a journalism award
        • Twins enjoy the party
        • It’s time to go
        • Father drives them home
      • Father is abducted by the government
        • In isolated street, the car is stoped
        • Two man attacks them and abducts their father
        • One of the twins receive a scar on their face
        • Twins are left alone in deserted street
      • Social worker takes them to lonely uncle
        • Social worker takes them from the hospital
        • Drives them to poor area
        • Leaves them with unknown uncle
    • They are taken in by their uncle
      • Twins and uncle can’t adjust to new life
        • Twins can’t eat
        • Twins won’t leave the house
        • Uncle tries to get information on what happened to his brother, but fails
        • It’s believed that their father died
      • They are all filled with grief
        • Uncle and twins have a sincere talk about father, they tell past stories, they laugh, they cry
        • For the first time, they have dinner together
      • Uncle comes up with revenge plan

You can almost see the story playing inside your head like a movie. That’s the magic of a scene by scene outline. :D

This last step is optional. But it’s a great exercise to trim the rough edges. Under each scene, catalog which character(s) you’ll need, what place(s) will be used, what does the scene accomplishes and ways it can unfold. Example:

  • Father receives a journalism award
    • Characters: Father, twins, father’s coworkers, VIPs
    • Place: Banquet hall 
    • Accomplishment: To show that father is a famous journalist that gives no chills for what the dictator says
    • Possibilities: 
      • Father is announced as the award winner
      • Speech against the dictator
      • Ends speech by showing his love for his son/daughter(s)
      • Twins are proud (and kind of embarrassed as well)
      • Applause, applause
      • Nice food
      • Beautiful dresses
      • It’s the twins birthday
      • Or it’s Christmas
      • Open hall with garden
      • Fireworks
      • Rich people

Takes time, but, now, you have the most detailed map a traveller can possess. It’s easy to depart, just take a seat and enjoy the ride.

Originally posted by mr-nikolo

I hope it helps somehow. Next time I’ll show you a different technique. 

Golden Boy

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2165

Warnings: Smut - NSFW

Summary: After playfully sending suggestive pictures to Chris right before he presents at the Oscars you realize that you are in for the night of your life.

Author’s Notes: This wasn’t planned. I had no idea Chris was going to wear a velvet bowtie to the Oscars. I’m basically CEvans Trash. I literally just wrote this – instead of watching the freaking Oscars – so if there are any ridiculous grammar errors – please forgive me… I am tired and hormonal. This is probably trash, ha!

I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this (along with some others). Soo yeah…..

Originally posted by sensualkisses

You hummed to yourself absentmindedly as you applied the rest of your makeup. Chris had promised his mom that he would take her to the Oscars this year, and you had agreed that it was a good idea. After the show was over you were to meet up with him to go to the after parties – which, let’s face it, were always the best part of the night. As you rapped your knuckles lightly on the bathroom countertop your phone dinged – alerting you to an incoming message. You reached for it as you finished putting on your lipstick. Of course it was from Chris.

“Miss you beautiful. Can’t wait to show you off to everyone.” You couldn’t help but smile at this. Of course he would send you something sweet. He had panicked that you would be upset about not going with him to the show, but you had assured him over and over that it was fine.

You had watched him get ready earlier that afternoon – the sight of him in his fitted suit and velvet tie had left your panties soaked. While you had secretly hoped for a quickie before he left for the show you had reasoned with yourself that there wasn’t time. Even the thought of the way he looked caused the tingling between your legs to start again. You checked the time on your cellphone before smiling. If the show was running on time Chris would be presenting within the next five minutes – you turned towards the television playing in the hotel bedroom for confirmation that the scheduling had not gone askew. It hadn’t and you couldn’t help but think how perfect the timing was. You were still only wearing your lingerie – not willing to wear your beautiful dress in fear of getting makeup on it. You positioned your hand over your panties, suggestively touching yourself, and formed a pout before snapping a picture.

“Wishing you could give me a hand.” You texted as you sent the picture. You could tell by your notifications that he had immediately seen it and you couldn’t help but smirk to yourself as you sat your phone down and finished getting ready.


“Jesus Christ,” Chris muttered to himself as he opened your text.

“Everything okay?” Someone beside him asked.

“Oh yeah… yeah,” he nervously blundered as he secured his phone safely back into his pocket. He was due to go on national television any minute, and was now also secretly praying that he could quell his body’s response to your text long enough to present. He chuckled nervously to himself. He knew you had done it on purpose. He had told you when his presentation was, and who it was after so you wouldn’t miss it. “I swear to god, Y/N. You’re going to be the death of me,” he mumbled to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Mr. Evans are you sure you’re okay?” A stagehand asked nervously.

“Never been better!” He announced a little too enthusiastically. Causing his co-presenter to jump beside me.

“Great… you are on in five….four…”

That was fine – he thought to himself – two could certainly play this game and payback was going to be a bitch.


You were nervous. After your text you had never received a response from Chris, but you were sure that he had saw it. Initially you had laughed during his presentation. He seemed maybe just a little flustered – most people wouldn’t have noticed, but most people hadn’t taken him to bed before either. As you exited the limousine you looked around nervously – nearly jumping out of your skin when a warm arm wrapped itself around your waist.

“Hey Babe,” he whispered into your ear – giving you a quick peck on the cheek. You looked up at him and he graced you with one his dazzling smiles. It was only when you really looked into his eyes that you realized he had definitely seen the picture, had certainly reacted to it, and the game was totally on. You swallowed hard – trying to bottle up your excitement as he smirked at you while you walked towards the entrance of the venue. “Just for the record,” he whispered – his beard tickling your ear – “I had to masturbate in the bathroom during the Academy Awards, because of you.” He gave your ass a quick slap which caused you to straighten up in surprise. You couldn’t help but smirk back at him – this was certainly going to be a night to remember.


“Sebby!” Chris shouted as he waived Sebastian over to your table. Sebastian said his hellos before taking a seat between Jeremy and Chris.

“What was up with you tonight?” Sebastian asked with a smirk. His eyes seemed to twinkle with humor as he offered you a wink.

“What do you mean?” Chris asked as he tried his hardest to keep a straight face – failing miserably.

“You seemed a little flustered is all,” Sebastian shrugged as he laughed. “Can’t imagine what would cause Chris to lose his cool,” he added to which Jeremy chuckled.

“I was a little distracted by something,” Chris added seriously as he turned his gaze to you. You knew the more his friends joked the more you were going to pay once you were alone with him.

You smiled shyly as you brought a glass of wine to your lips. “I guess you need to work on that babe,” you shrugged before turning your attention back to your conversation with Jeremy’s wife.


The following hours seemed uneventful – at least where Chris’s revenge was concerned. You gushed over celebrities like Emma Stone, as he politely introduced you – never taking his eyes off of you as you interacted with his friends. Everyone continued to drink – the alcohol seemed endless. Each time a bottle was finished at least two more arrived to replace it.

“Everyone should be dancing!” Sebastian declared as he rose from his chair.

“Oh come on man,” Chris muttered as he shook his head. His face was tinged pink from the amount of alcohol he had consumed. “I don’t know if I can even stand right now,” he laughed.

“Y/N?” Sebastian asked as he offered you his hand. You took it willingly looking over his shoulder to see Chris’s reaction. He was watching you like a hawk – good.

You left the table with Sebastian hand-in-hand. Out of all of Chris’s friends you liked Sebastian the best – probably because you had known him before you had ever met Chris. “You are going to have hell to pay,” Seb laughed as you danced against him.

“A girl can only hope,” you laughed as you smirked in Chris’s direction. He was already rising from his chair – his eyes trained only on you and his best friend.

“That didn’t take long,” Sebastian laughed as Chis meandered his way through the crowd. As he neared Sebastian shouted, “She’s all yours,” before laughing and walking back to the table where everyone else had stayed.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Chris muttered into your ear as he pulled you roughly into him. He placed his hands on your hips –guiding them to grind into him as you felt his growing erection. “You kill me,” he muttered breathlessly against your neck. You could feel the wetness between your legs grow as he continued to harden against your contact. The feeling caused you to let out a soft moan. “Oh do you like that,” he whispered seductively into your ear.

“Yes,” you responded breathlessly. “Chris, I…” but he cut you off.

“Follow me,” he demanded as he took your hand, guiding you towards one of the many private bathrooms. Being a celebrity had its perks – at least you had a room to yourself.


You sighed as Chris looked the bathroom door behind him. You were ready. Ready for him to ravage every part of your body.

“Not so fast,” he chuckled as he pushed you gently onto the couch – you never quite understood the need for couches in bathrooms, but for once you were glad to have one. You pouted quietly as Steve took you in. “Now listen here baby girl – you’ve been torturing me all night. Sending me that naughty picture of you and grinding yourself up against my best friend. Now it’s my turn,” he muttered softly as he slowly removed his tie. “Give me your hands,” he commanded. You obeyed giving him your hands. He took them in his hands and tied the velvet material around them securely. He spun you on the couch – making you lay on it fully before raising your hands above your head. “These better not move, do you understand me?” He asked. You nodded as you whimpered your assent. You would do whatever he said if he would help the aching feeling between your legs.

He smirked as he worked your dress up to your waist – admiring a portion of the lingerie he had seen earlier in the picture. He slowly planted kisses up your leg causing you to squirm uncontrollably. More than anything you wanted to twist your fingers through his hair and you soon found your hands moving from their position. “What did I say?” he asked calmly as you placed your hands back above your head. “Good girl,” he hummed – kissing your wet core through your panties. “I think we can get rid of these,” he murmured against your skin as he worked your panties off. He gently circled his thumb around your sensitive clit causing you to buck your hips. “Mmm, my naughty girl. You’re so wet,” he remarked as he slid a finger inside of you causing you to moan out his name. “That’s right baby, you’re mine,” he said fiercely as he added another finger – pumping them in and out of you as you squirmed with pleasure. You could feel your walls tightening at his touch and your moans became louder. You didn’t care who heard you. “Not yet baby,” he whispered as he removed his fingers.

“What?” Your head snapped forward at this. He couldn’t just get you close and then stop. “Chris,” you whined as you tried to sit up. He pushed you back gently with a smile before moving his face between your legs. He smirked up at you before burying his face into you. As he lapped at your wetness you moaned his name louder causing him to suck on your sensitive clit. As you bucked your hips he slid a finger into you. His mouth and fingers were too much – causing you to cum all over his face. He lapped away your orgasm – causing more moans to fall from your mouth – before he broke away with a smirk. His beard was glistening with the remnants of your pleasure which immediately made you ready for round two.

“Stand up,” he demanded as he stood and offered you his hand. You placed your bound ones in his and he helped you to your feet. “I want you to bend over the sink,” he explained as he motioned over to the sink. You did as he commanded – your bound wrists stinging softly as the velvet bit into your soft flesh. You watched in the mirror as he removed himself from his pants – stroking himself a few times before approaching you from behind. He lifted your dress to your waist again before nudging your legs apart with his own. As he slid into you fully you groaned. He began to thrust into you as he held on to your hips tightly. “God – you are so tight,” he exclaimed as his thrusts began to become more disjointed. You groaned as your body reacted to his thrusts – you could feel your walls tightening again with the promise of a glorious orgasm. When he began palming your sensitive clit you came undone around him – your orgasm spurring his own. He stiffened as he filled you with himself. He sighed softly into your hair as he kissed the back of your neck affectionately before removing himself.

“So that’s what happens when I send you nudes when you’re at the Oscars?” you asked with a laugh as you sat shakily on the couch.

“I guess so,” he chuckled as he plopped down beside you – wrapping his arm around you and bringing your head to his shoulder.

“Well I guess I should do that more often,” you shrugged as you both laughed.

“Oh hell,” Chris sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What is it?” you asked alarmed.

“Seb and I had a bet on who would have sex at an Oscars’ after party years ago. I never thought it would be me so I’ve given him hell for years about it,” he grimaced.

“Well I guess it’s time to pay up,” you chuckled as you both rose from the couch.

“It was worth every last fucking penny,” Chris responded as he pulled you into him – planting a soft kiss on your lips.


Tags: (I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this along with a few others)

@writingblockswriters @kendallefire @marvelouslyloki @seargantbcky @sapphire1727 @dont-let-me-go-again @amrita31199 @kittthekat @3brosangel @yknott81 @samanthaneedsanap @dreamer1495 @frolicsomefawkes @totallygroovyllama @caffeineandlaserbeams @sebbys-girl @bless-my-demons @moonofhisheart @giggles2107 @summerbummer2001 @ninjayjumper @vidishajain @fan-guirl @ily-celebrities @harleyqueen7