It sucks bc no matter how much I try not to care about you at all, I end up doing so anyway. It sucks that I have to pretend that it didnt hurt at all to see you together and yet , the name that you tell people is mine, whenever they ask who you want. Damn they even said you loved me so I should give you a chance, give it a shot. Its unfair, isnt it? I know I dont like you back but you telling them you like me ( or even love[?] me) gives them the right to think that im being unfair by not giving you a chance to even try. Thats not true. I gave you all the chances you needed, you couldve took it all and yet you took those times to talk, hold hands, be alone with, laugh, with the girl you used to like. The girl everyone used to like. I dont blame her. You did all of those instead, which part wasnt fair there? Maybe you really really really just want the chase. Maybe unrequited feelings just really have a certain pleasure to feel. Maybe you dont want me at all. Maybe you just used me as a front. Maybe it didnt matter at all.
And it hurted because I felt like the girl that people went to, only when its convenient. I felt like the choice again. I dont wanna be the “sometimes”. Im not gonna be your sometimes.
Sometimes I like her smile. Sometimes I come to her for advice.
Sometimes she’s funny.
Sometimes I like her hair.
Sometimes she’s really fun to be with.
Sometimes I like her.
Sometimes I miss her.
Sometimes I love her.
I dont wanna be anybody’s sometimes.
If I have to beg to be placed first then I’d rather not at all.