busy little beavers


❝ You never have to be cold, my dear, if you don’t want to be. ❞
❝ Are we going to crash!? ❞
❝ You know, I think you forgot your climbing gear on purpose… ❞
❝ Honestly, it’s like going up a set of stairs…Only far less boring! ❞
❝ Hey, do me a favour and check the map, would you? ❞
❝ I can’t shoot on sight if I can’t see anybody… ❞
❝ I’m falling in love all over again… ❞
❝ And here come the bloody tourists to spoil it all… ❞
❝ Ouch…That sounded permanent… ❞
❝ I’ve been hoping I’d get to meet you! ❞
❝ What I know is my business! ❞
❝ Keep yourself caffeinated, we’ve got work ahead of us! ❞
❝ We’re still alive! Can’t complain about that! ❞
❝ They don’t seem so keen on visitors these days, do they? ❞
❝ You can’t blame me for knowing how to accessorize! ❞
❝ At least we’ll have some privacy… ❞
❝ You do realize that the streets weren’t deserted a moment ago… ❞
❝ I’ve been trying so hard to blend in… ❞
❝ Is that what this is about? Closure? ❞
❝ I build for the future…I don’t dwell in the past. ❞
❝ Are you sure you’re reading that thing properly…? ❞
❝ To be perfectly honest, I think this is a terrible idea… ❞
❝ Don’t take any chances. I’m not losing any more of my friends. ❞
❝ Well, this is a tomb. Let’s make those bastards feel at home! ❞
❝ [NAME] didn’t want to see you, so I reminded him/her how much you hate the word ‘no’… ❞
❝ Have you been enjoying my little party? ❞
❝ You’d be amazed at how convincing I can be…even with dangerous men… ❞
❝ I am not a thief, and you would be wise to avoid such accusations! ❞
❝ Try begging for your life like the last time we spoke. ❞
❝ Basic etiquette: never arrive at a party empty handed! ❞
❝ I know you’re into death traps, but it’s not really a winning option… ❞
❝ Your persistence will be the death of you! ❞
❝ I’ve simplified your payroll, and now if you don’t mind, I’ll streamline your inventory! ❞
❝ Did I tell you you’re my new favourite person~? ❞
❝ If all else fails, I can get into the postcard business! ❞
❝ I do my best thinking plunging off cliffs~! ❞
❝ Grand entrances are always impractical… It’s what makes them grand! ❞
❝ Why hello! You’re a busy little beaver, aren’t you~? ❞
❝ Fancy dropping down for a chat? ❞
❝ You know long distance relationships inevitably come to an end… ❞
❝ It looks as if we’re bound for colder climates… ❞
❝ Oh come now…Waiting is for the patient. ❞
❝ If I’d known you were alive, I swear, I would have done everything I could to save you… ❞
❝ I am lucky, but I’d like to think that some skill was involved in that… ❞
❝ There’s a fine line between coincidence and irony… ❞
❝ It’s usually someone else’s past you’re digging into…You ok? ❞
❝ So, any more sightseeing, or are you finished? ❞
❝ I’m going to need a clear head for this. No distractions, please. ❞
❝ You idiot! You ruined everything! ❞
❝ Make sense right this second, or I swear I’ll execute you where you stand! ❞
❝ From this moment, your every breath is a gift from me. ❞

My Murder Husbands

Summary: Freddie Lounds finds out about the slaying of the Great Red Dragon and the death of the Murder Husbands. But she’s not buying it. She knows her Murder Husbands are alive and cooking. Told from Freddie’s point of view.  

Part of the super fun Of Two Murder Husbands Collection.  A hypothetical season 4, in which 18 different characters speculate on what happened to Hannibal and Will. In the last episode, Hannibal and Will reveal the truth of what happened to them.     

My phone woke me up earlier than my alarm and rather than be pissed off, I was ecstatic because I know that when that happens it means something – something extraordinary – is about to make mama very happy. I sat up and grabbed it from under my pillow.

“Lounds,” I answered and the words that began to come from the other end of the line were unfucking believable.

“They’re dead.”

“Who? Who’s dead? Which ones?” I asked.

“You should be asking who isn’t.”

“Jesus, who?”

“Dolarhyde, Graham, Lecter…”


“Dolarhyde, Graham and Lecter. Your Murder Husbands tagged teamed the bastard and then jumped off a cliff together.”

I sat up taller in bed, not quite believing it yet, “You have got to be shitting me.”

“Nope. They are saying Graham pulled Lecter down in some sort of struggle. Boop. Right over the bluff into the Atlantic but…”

“But,” I said already knowing what the next words were going to be.

“But you and I both know that probably isn’t how it went down. Graham’s no goddamn hero. The blood pattern on top of the bluff doesn’t even show a struggle. Quite the contrary, but people are already in full swing here to make sure none of that shit sees the light of day.”

“Honest to god, those two.”

“No shit. Listen, I have to go. I have some photos. Trust me, they’ll be worth the price. Check your secure email. I sent you the address of where it all went down, too.”

The line went dead before I could ask anything else. My trusty informant was definitely turning out to be worth their asking price. God bless good old fashioned capitalism.

Keep reading