bush is evil

I can’t believe people are romanticizing the man behind “free speech zones” and the “orange alert” like, I was a child during the Bush administration and I fully remember how horrible it was, like what’s your excuse?

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: The stars say he future will be full of steam. Hey, steam is pretty alright.

Taurus: What is useful is a question of scale. Assassination would fix the deeper problem but a bucket of fried chicken would solve the more immedeate one.

Gemini: Topologically speaking, you are a sphere. Provided you keep your mouth shut. This information will save your life.

Cancer: Seek the loud child and stare at him for as long as you can.

Leo: it’s all fun and games until matter itself begins to decay and the universe unravels into frozen nothing.

Virgo: Rose bushes ward off evil. They are naturally enchanted. They are also pointy.

Libra: Carefully consider your actions and decide for yourself if you should be ashamed.

Scorpio: Leave everyone you meet feeling confused and aroused.

Ophiuchus: No part of you is useless, even the grossest of body parts make the tastiest of sausages. Get to grinding my friend.

Sagittarius: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? It matters little, it needs to get the hell out of your house.

Capricorn: Your time is running out into the rain. Follow it outside and enjoy the cool air on your face for a moment.

Aquarius: Think of the power at your fingertips. The sheer amount of energy in your hands as you sit there and poop.

Pisces: Bare floors are a possibility.

anonymous asked:

Before we all fall mouth first on George Bush Jr.'s knob over his brave stance as an ex-president to support the first fucking Amendment to the motherfucking US Constitution, lets all take a moment to google Helen Thomas and Jeff Gannon. He was always a trial puppet for this asshole. And Trump might be a trial for the next one! Don't be nice to Bush II, or you might have to talk about how statesman like Trump was in 12 years.

George W. Bush is an idiot and evil, and accepting him was the first step these racists made to getting the current racist in office.

Don’t beat around the bush

It started innocently enough, like most things do.

-

 "Darling, could you dig up the dead rose bush at the back? Next to the tree. You can’t miss it, it’s the only dead one. There’s daisies on the other side of it; they’re the white ones.“

Thorin did not look up from the book he was reading. "Of course. Would you like to further clarify how a dead bush looks? Draw me a picture? Or should I wait for you to send a message to Ori and ask that he draw it? Perhaps a map as well?”

“Like you know how to follow maps,” Bilbo sniffed and Thorin’s mouth quirked up at one corner.

“Yes, dear.”

-

Armed with a spade Thorin made the short journey to the back garden, not bothering to change clothes. Digging up a bush would be easy enough.

-

Thorin had dealt with stone less stubborn than these damned roots. And the thorns hadn’t had the sense to die with the rest of the accursed plant, or perhaps they were now evil undead thorns, as they were clearly out for blood.

“Do you know how many Orcs I’ve killed,” Thorin said as he glared down at the stubborn undead weed.

The stubborn undead weed did not reply.

The scrapes on Thorin’s hands stung when he curled his hands in fists.

-

An hour later Bilbo went in search of his husband as he had no idea where Thorin was and the rosebush was still standing; a grey-brown miserable collection of sticks amongst the green.

Surely Thorin could not have gotten lost on his way to the garden? 

Bilbo snickered a bit to himself. No, that would just be silly.

However, considering that he eventually found Thorin down in the smithy he had to wonder if he’d been a bit too hasty.

“What are you doing?” Bilbo asked, after allowing himself a few moments’ observation of the way the muscles of Thorin’s arms and chest coiled and bunched as he banged a hammer down at a red-hot piece of metal lying on the anvil.

“I’m making a new spade,” Thorin growled. “I need a better weapon to deal with the monstrosity in your garden.”

For a moment Bilbo thought that Thorin had found an actual monster in the garden.

“Oh, you mean the rosebush?”

“It’s evil,” Thorin said darkly.

“It’s a bush.”

“It’s an evil bush. I think it’s undead.”

What?”

Between the Leaves

SURPRISE CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR @kibberswrites hi I was your anon from earlier but yes you’re absolutely wonderful and I just hope you like this :)

The leaves ruffled in the wind, sunlight dappling the forest floor below and around them. Sam was laying with his head in Gabriel’s lap, gazing up at the golden haired man who spoke with lilting words that sometimes rhymed and sometimes didn’t, words that chimed like bells in the crisp air, and silent words he illustrated with his hands. 

Sam’s smile was wistful as he listened to the man, the rough forest edges of his voice reminding Sam all the time they weren’t from the same world, not that it mattered.

 Gabriel let one hand tangle in Sam’s slightly curled hair as he told him tales of travellers and bards who’d come through the woods, fingers tapping on their instruments as if their cheerful music scare away the evil that lurked in the shadows of the bushes. As he saw the evil begin to wind itself around the ankles of the travellers he’d appeared, dispelling them and granting the travelling groups protection from anything else that may bring harm to them.

 The forest spirit leant back, basking his face in the warm sunlight, letting the rays blend and bounce from his hair. Sam looked up and noticed the light on his hair and face and he admired the green tinge in the gold of his hair, the dark smudged on his cheek, and the way his golden eyes sparkled all the time, no matter whether it was the dead of night or midday.

 Gabriel yawned and stretched widely, the sunlight getting slightly brighter as he screwed up his face in the yawn. Sam’s face softened as it happened, a smile tugging the corners of his lips.

 “Want to go into the deep woods today Sammy?” Gabriel’s voice never failed to strike  a chord in Sam’s chest and he sat up, leaning forward to kiss Gabriel, who made a surprised mmph! noise before kissing back.

 “How about the lake instead?” Gabriel’s face lit up, and Sam was glad he’d made the suggestion. He loved being at the lake with Gabriel. Not because the spirit was very convincing when it came to skinny dipping, not because the lake itself was simply beautiful, a bright blue that Sam could stare at for hours, crystal clear right to the depths. Sam sat himself down on the shore, toeing off his shoes and socks before dipping his toes in the cool water,w watching Gabriel.

Gabriel hummed a light tune as he too pushed off the shoes he wore, though he was sockless, and he stretched out a leg slowly, testing the water before he began to walk on it, tiny ripples from where he allowed the slightest amount of his weight to be pressed onto the surface floating outwards, lapping at Sam. Gabriel stepped lightly, the blissful smile on his face one of the reasons Sam loved coming here with him. Only one of them though. As Gabriel reached the centre of the lake, arms raising above his head, the water around him lifting with it, Sam’s smile widened even more, the water forming an elegant and swirled cocoon around the forest’s guardian.

This was the other reason why he loved coming here with Gabriel.

Gabriel was the forest. He held the life of the trees, the leaves, the creatures and streams in his chest, protected by his own chest. He breathed out the sweet smelling wind that carried the autumn leave around the woods, the wind that the leaves tumbled and danced in. He sung the songs alongside the birds, his high notes melding with theirs, his lows forming a platform for their melodies. He ran with the squirrels and then foxes, dashing up trees and through the undergrowth, ignoring the tree branches that whipped his face and hands, because there was no way that the forest could harm him, because the forest grew as he did, and it was certain it would die when he did too. 

Sam watched Gabriel in the middle of the lake, arms sweeping in arches, guiding the water along with it, and from inside the spinning water that leapt into the air, catching in the light, Sam could hear Gabriel humming. And as he hummed the wind began to gather around them both, music drifting into it that could only be there through ethereal and magical placement. Gabriel’s voice lifted in the wind, joining in and Sam found himself lost, lost in the way his voice carried throughout the grove and into the air. A gust of wind swept cherry blossoms around and into the water, flying as Gabriel’s hand shot towards the sky, water following it. Sam watched him for hours, never moving, just. Watching.

Sunset fell around them and Gabriel retreated from the lake, lying beside Sam as the sun set behind the trees, the lake now glimmering reds, oranges and yellows as if someone had set fire to the water and the land. Gabriel rolled over, throwing his arm over Sam’s stomach, looking up at him.

 “So, you enjoy the water show again?” Sam nodded, kissing Gabriel’s forehead, a silent as always passing between the two of them. “Just wait until winter, when I can do it with ice.” Gabriel seemed hopeful for it coming, to be able to show Sam all the wonders of the forest when it was under a blanket of snow.

 “Sounds amazing Gabriel.” he whispered, running a hand through Gabriel’s hair, admiring the way the ends curled around his fingers. The stars were beginning to dust the sky and Gabriel looked up at them, waving a hand. Sam watched as the sky curled and morphed, new stars appearing, barely visible. But these new stars combined with the old spelt out the words I love you in the sky. Sam teared up a little as he read it, looking at Gabriel whose golden eyes were tinted with a mossy green, glowing in the darkness.

 “I mean it.” was all that Gabriel said, and Sam surged forward, kissing him, a cloud of butterflies and fireflies exploding out around Gabriel as their lips connected, Sam rolling Gabriel onto his back in the grass.

Sam Winchester was the boy in love with the forest.

Thankfully, the forest loved him back.