I’m bad at writing full length things but I love writing dialogue. So here’s some things that I think my Fake AH Crew Mica would say. Tried to be as true to badgersinbowties while still being a drug dealing, explosion loving, Los Santos gangster.
“I found out Lindsay was with the Fake Crew when she showed up to movie night covered in blood that wasn’t hers. It was a mess but hey, we still ended up watching Footloose so I guess it wasn’t a completely terrible night.”
“I’ve always wanted to have an open casket funeral so you can all see me being prettier than you for one last time.”
“When I first figured out I liked boys and girls I was really confused, then I got it. I’m a hot piece of ass so why limit my options?”
“The first drug dealer I ever met was some cracked out old guy living in a trailer. I just thought to myself ‘who would want to buy drugs from this guy when I exist?’ and drove the bastard out of business.”
“Lindsay? Do you have any idea where I left my makeup bag?” “Why do you need it?” “It has a remote for something important” “The TV remote?” “Nah, you remember the car bomb we planted on the dick from the grocery store’s car last week?”
“Geoff, I’m not sure why you think this is a bad idea.” “You have a rocket launcher. It’s always a bad day when you have a rocket launcher.” “On the contrary, I think it’s a great day when I have a rocket launcher.”
everyone has these headcanons that the boys just break into song during heists/everyday gta life but imagine mica doing it
with only disney songs
jack is in a chopper during a heist and she radios over their comms “im on my way” and mica immediately breaks out brother bear and starts singing “tell everybody im on my way, new friends and new places to see, with blue skies ahead, yes im on my way and there’s no where else that i’d rather be” (gavin gets shot after gawking at mica for too long)
geoff is in the middle of making a vital deal with some shady cops and says “let’s get down to business” and mica starts belting out mulan “let’s get down to business, to defeat the huns, did they send me daughters, when i asked for sons? you’re the saddest bunch i ever met” (needless to say they did not make the deal)
gavin’s talking to michael about how he can do some messed up shit and michael’s like “nah son” and gavin squawks and says “i can show you” and in comes mica with aladdin “i can show you the world, shining shimmering splendid, tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide” (gavin forgets about his trick while trying to shut mica up)
ryan and mica torturing a guy for info and ryan’s like “we promise we won’t kill you and stuff but you know how it is. we’ll end up killing you.” and out goes lion king 2 “but you know how it is. you’re not one of us, not one of us, no you’re not one of us” (the guy starts laughing and that lead ends up going cold because ryan got pissed he was laughing and killed him)
there’s a heist and the comms keep breaking up and michael says “i don’t know if you can hear me–” when mica cuts him off with hunchback of notre dame “i don’t know if you can hear me, or if you’re even there, i don’t know if you would listen, to a gypsie’s prayer” (no one ever figures out what michael was going to say because the comms immediately cut out after mica’s done singing)
ray, much to everyone’s dismay, says that michael should just “let it go” when he rage quit a game.
let’s just say everyone ignored mica for days after that one.
Geoff hadn’t recruited these people for their personalities but for their skills. That didn’t mean he didn’t love them though, each one different but the same, crying out for a place in a city that just wouldn’t give out, so he opened his arms to eight people, eight people that became his family.