zzzz THERE ARE SO MANY LOCAL BURRITOS 1000% BETTER THAN CHIPOTLE
Somehow Chipotle has managed to turn their dangerous gastrointestinal disease outbreaks into an incredible marketing opportunity—they are closing for not even a full day to make sure their disgusting house is in order, and E!’s headline is topped by a .gif of an alarm. Jezebel says of the news: “Let us pray.” New York Times Business’s headline is, instead of “Chipotle Soon Almost Guaranteed to Not Make You Pee Out Your Butt While You Puke in the Bathtub at the Same Time,” is “Chipotle’s New Mantra: Safe Food, Not Just Fresh.”
Come the fuck on. If you are looking for a burrito—or even just fresh food, which I mean, isn’t really hard to accomplish when, like Chipotle, your food is 90% rice—you have so many better options in Seattle. We guarantee there is one near your home place of work. So on No Chipotle Day, or like literally any day, you are covered.
La Vaca: These nice folks sell quality burritos out of a window in Pike Place. Their veggie burrito is under $5!
Gorditos: This Greenwood joint is known for their burritos the size of babies, but their regular burritos can still last two meals. This does not mean we are judging when you finish it in one. The tofu filling is the business, and the salsa bar is A+. During the summer, sit out on the patio!
Tacos Chukis: Hidden upstairs in the Alley Building on Broadway (by Laughing Buddha!), Chukis is an underrated gem on the Hill. Their Baby Burritos mean the opposite of what they mean at Gorditos; they’re little. But that means you can get both a cactus and a bean burrito. Get a Hochata, too.
Tacos Guaymas: This local chain is pretty much everywhere—West Seattle, Broadway, Fremont, Green Lake, Tacoma, Lynnwood—and they’re all great, although we’ve found that different locations have slightly different styles. But they all have great salsa bars. Find your fav.
Rancho Bravo: It’s popular for a reason, and that reason is that they are delicious—and customizable! Hot green sauce mixed with hot red sauce is the best sauce.
Taqueria Costa Alegre Taco Bus: A literal bus parked on Rainier Ave and Henderson. There is seating inside the bus for the full experience, or just take it to go.
El Chupacabra: This Phinney Ridge neighborhood staple turned into a local chain a few years ago! Hit this up for some sweet fake chicken and some margs. The SLU location has a great patio for optimal lake-watching.
Why wait for February 8? Just go get yourself a burrito. From one of these places and not Chipotle. You’re worth it.