burnt room

Dear diary,

last week, after i found out Taehyung hired an FBI investigator to do a thorough background check on me, i decided to leave his room while the results are processing. because Namjoon has neglected to repairing my burnt room, and now there is a gaping hole in the wall where the wind blows through at night with a creepy sound and small critters crawl through, i have decided to move into my closet. I know. its a small space. but i only have about 8-10 personal belongings. This is because ever since I moved in with Bangtan I found I always need to be prepared to write my will in a very short amount of time. Anyways i have been scrolling through reddit and did you know that if the earth were to suddenly stop turning then we would all be thrown into the air and hit the next solid surface with more than enough force to kill us all?

All is well,


mindfulness was a word, or a concept rather, that seemed so yogi and elusive to me a few years back. it sounded outlandish and far-off, something that people who burn incense and light candles know about (i’m sitting in a room with burnt incense and lit candles. dot dot dot.)

but with time and a proper understanding of the word, i now know and love the idea behind the concept: bringing us back to the present moment. 

in a modern-day society so cluttered with to-do’s, goals, tasks, and lists, it is surprisingly difficult for us to actually live in the present moment. it seems we are always dwelling on the past or ruminating about the future. sometimes i’ll be standing at a checkout counter at the grocery store or waiting between takes on set and I’ll just realize my mind spiraling out of control with some frustration of a past event or anticipation of a future one.

firstly, WHY? come on, mind, give me a break. 
secondly, since I can’t really answer the why, I asked, HOW CAN I CHANGE IT?

you guessed the answer. mindfulness. with active mindfulness attempts throughout the day, it is possible (and wonderful) to check ourselves and make sure we are living in the moment. the current moment requires nothing of us but to live in it and RELAX. how nice does that sound? maybe it would’ve sounded nicer if i hadn’t written it in all caps. RELAX in all caps is kind of an oxymoron. anyway…

i don’t recommend taking all your mindfulness advice from me. i am so infant to the concept and really trying to gather my bearings on it, so try picking up a book from barnes and noble (one minute mindfulness by donald altman is a great place to start) or i’m sure there is even a mindfulness app you can download. whatever you choose to do, i think learning about the concept and practicing it even once a day will show you great results in focus, positivity, and awareness. 

good luck!

The Brooklyn Thrill Killers

One of the most brutal series of crimes ever committed were the work of a gang of boys who called themselves The Kill-for-Thrills gang. It consisted of four teenagers: Jack Koslow (age 18), Melvin Mittman (age 17), Robert Trachtenberg (age 15), and Jerome Lieberman (age 17). Although they were all Jewish, the boys referred to themselves as Neo-nazis and were extremely racist. In August 1954, the boys killed an elderly factory worker named Willard Menter. The boys dragged him into an empty room and burnt his feet with cigarettes for over an hour. They kicked his frail body repeatedly and spat on him. Eventually, the Kill-for-Thrills gang dragged Menter’s broken body to the end of South Fifth Street, beat him some more, and then threw him into the river where he drowned.

When the boys were arrested, they started to admit to more crimes. Although they came from upper-class families and didn’t fit the profile of a cold-blooded psychopathic killer, they all seemed to display truly sadistic tendencies toward Brooklyn’s homeless population. Every night, they would venture out and beat, stab, or otherwise torture vulnerable homeless people. One night they decided to take it to the next level and they doused a man sleeping on a bench with gasoline and set him on fire.

In court, the naive prosecution team proclaimed that the boys had been influenced by the violence seen in comic books. The judge, who was affected by the era’s extreme lack of knowledge on criminal psychology, concluded that the comic book in question should be banned. Half of the gang were shockingly acquitted, and two were sentenced to life imprisonment.

  • Me: I have a crush on you.
  • Crush: Really? I also like you.
  • Me (Internally): They're lying to make me feel better. They probably don't like me at all, it's just them being courteous and kind.
  • Me: So. Wanna go out.
  • Crush: Sure!
  • Me (Internally): They don't actually like me. I've pigeonholed them into a situation in which they feel like they have to date me and I am now being intensely manipulative and every thought I have ever thought about them is intensely wrong and bad.
  • Crush: I literally want to kiss you.
  • Me (Internally): I have once again, somehow, manipulated this person and made them think these things against their will. Clearly I've said too much.
  • Far, far in the future:
  • Spouse: So, what color should we paint the baby's room? Burnt Orange, or vermillion? I'm liking the vermillion with the oak crown, not gonna lie.
  • Me (Internally): They wanted the burnt orange. The unintentional rise of my breath 0.5249 nanoseconds too late clearly shifted their opinion. I am scum. I am disgusting, manipulative scum.


1) Are you a heal trigger because you just healed my soul
2) Have you been blessed by Nociel? Because you sent an arrow right into my heart
3) Your smile sent a crit to my heart
4) I would stride/ride on you any day
5) Will you be the mate to my legion?
6) If you were my mate, no Absolute break can break us apart
7) You’re the best 6th damage heal
8) Will you be the Aichi to my Kai
9) Do you wanna ride everyday?
10) You make my dragonic overlords stand
11) Our bonds can awaken the harmonics messiah
12) Are you a stand trigger? Because you help my rear stand
13) Your beauty is like a maelstrom - mind blowing
14) You are like a miracle trigger sent by the Harmonics Messiah
15) Let’s stand up, tonight, in my room.


I really need to get it into my head that being a witch, your power is connected to your emotions. I really shouldn’t go into classes that I have to use my abilities in when I am irritated with my dad because he keeps calling me, begging that Kurt and I come home. I know he must miss us and is probably worried for us but we are trying to do good here. I nearly burnt the class room down trying to use my powers on a task for an assignment. Sorry, everyone who thought they were two seconds away from a firey death.