because apparently this needs to be said AGAIN

in the most general aesthetic terms possible

1600s: most witch-hunts ended in this century. no witches were burned in North America; they were hanged or in one case pressed to death

1700s: the American Revolution. Marie Antoinette. the French Revolution. the crazy King George. most pirate movies

1800-1830: Jane Austen! Pride and Prejudice! those dresses where the waist is right under one’s boobs and men have a crapton of facial hair inside high collars

1830-1900: Victorian. Les Miserables is at the beginning, the Civil War is in the middle, and Dracula is at the end

1900-1920: Edwardian. Titanic, World War I, the Samantha books from American Girl, Art Nouveau

1920s: Great Gatsby. Jazz Age. Flappers and all that. most people get this right but IT IS NOT VICTORIAN. STUFF FROM THIS ERA IS NOT VICTORIAN. DO NOT CALL IT VICTORIAN OR LIST IT ON EBAY AS VICTORIAN. THAT HAPPENS SURPRISINGLY OFTEN GIVEN HOW STAGGERING THE VISUAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ERAS IS. also not 100 years ago yet, glamour.com “100 years of X” videos. you’re lazy, glamour.com. you’re lazy and I demand my late Edwardian styles

I just saw people referencing witch burning and Marie Antoinette on a post about something happening in 1878. 1878. when there were like trains and flush toilets and early plastic and stuff. if you guys learn nothing else about history, you should at least have vague mental images for each era

before criticizing someone online, ask yourself if you’ve:

dug through the ditches
burned through the witches
slammed in the back of my

being a witch

what people expect: potions and pentagrams everywhere, probably a raven as a pet, blood rituals and animal sacrifices, lots of evil laughter, worshiping the dEVIL 

reality: i found this rock and i thought it was nice so now i keep it under my pillow, also i can’t remember if i blew out that candle and i’m worried i’m gonna burn my house down 

🍀 🍄A summary of the Sabbats 🍄🍀

When I was a baby witch, it was really difficult for me to understand the Sabbats and the wheel of the year. To help all my baby witches, I made a short summary to make it easier. 

🎄 Yule (Date: on the winter solstice, dec. 20-23) 🎄

This is the Sabbat for celebrating rebirth. Many people celebrate it similarly to Christmas, with gift giving, feasting, and wreath making. People will often kiss a consenting partner under a sprig of mistletoe for good luck.

🐏  Imbolc (Date: feb. 2) 🐏 

This Sabbat celebrates the return of spring. People make corn dollies and set them in a basket next to a symbol of masculinity. Many Witches will clean out their homes during Imbolc.

🐣 Ostara (Date: on the vernal equinox, Mar. 20-23) 🐣 

This Sabbat celebrates the coming time of fertility. Egg decorating is common during this time.

🔥 Beltane (Date: May 1) 🔥

This Sabbat focuses on fertility. Many Pagans choose to conceive children at this time (or just to enjoy themselves sexually with a partner). Beltane festivals are often high energy, with plenty of dancing and bonfires. 

☀️ Litha (Date: on the summer solstice, Jun 20-23) ☀️

A Sabbat for celebrating the longest day of the year, as well as for mourning the shortening days after. Some Witches burn bonfires or light candles to represent the Sun.

🌾 Lughnasadh (Date: Aug 1 -> 1 day before my birthday!) 🌾

I love this Sabbat but I’m not able to pronounce this name :). This is the first of the three harvesting Sabbats. There are festivals of grain and bread. People make gingerbread men during this time.

🍁 Mabon (Date: on the autumnal equinox, sep. 20-23) 🍁

This is the second of the three harvesting Sabbats. Witches give thanks to the Earth and the harvest. Celebraters will make and drink wine at this time.

⛄️ Samhain (Date: nov. 1) ⛄️

This is the last of the three harvesting Sabbats. It is also the festival of the dead. The veil is at its thinnest at this time. Witches will sometimes hold a big feast during Samhain.

Feel free to contact me if you have more questions!



((thank you to guest writer @actualbird !!!))

See the thing about Evangeline is that it’s pretty much as old as Jeremy and Michael’s entire friendship. Probably older, actually. Evangeline, of course, being the minifridge in their dorm that houses the Jeremy’s fantastic stock of Mountain Dew Red.

Keep reading

abare-apple  asked:

Tthe fucking What mage

Okay, so some friends and i were playing a short two-session campaign, right? And in this setting, magic was viewed as taboo. So I did what any self-loathing masochist would and decided to play a wizard. But I don’t think I emphasized how taboo magic was in this game’s setting - it was in the midst of witch-burning inquisitions, the works. So I needed to find ways to cast spells without being noticed and executed. Enter Corky the Clown.

Corky the Clown was a quiet fellow, a man of few words. And by that, I mean he communicated exclusively in bicycle horn honks. Our party’s rogue was a knife-thrower for a traveling circus that was burned down during one of these magic inquisitions, and I was his coworker/unwanted sidekick as we struck out looking to find a new place to belong. Now, you’d think that having a mute party member whose entire ability set could get him and everyone associated with him killed would be a liability, but Corky the Clown slowly but surely earned his keep. Some highlights include:

  • Corky wasn’t actually mute. He just had an extremely quiet voice. This proved advantageous to casting spells unnoticed.
  • Corky’s preferred form of attack was to call a time-out in the middle of battle, pull out an oversized cigar, and offer it to the enemy. When the enemy refused, he’d shrug, pull out a lighter, and light the cigar. Alas, this whole stunt was just a means of stalling while he ever-so-quietly invoked Flaming Sphere, and after taking a drag off the cigar, he’d blow into it like a balloon to make the burning end swell into a fireball.
  • A pretty useful cantrip for wizards in 3.5e is Acid Splash. Corky the Clown took advantage of this by sauntering up to a foe while quietly invoking the cantrip, then letting loose a squirt of acid from the flower pinned to his bowler hat.
  • Grease is usually used to lube up a 10-foot area, but it can also be focused on a single object. Corky’s object of choice was a comically oversized beach ball, which he would coat with grease before bowling it in the direction of the enemies. This ball bounced harmlessly off the enemy’s shin, but left a trail of grease behind, turning a huge tract of land into a slippery disaster zone. The foes never saw this as anything more than mere clown antics - when Corky would make an exaggerated show out of slipping and sliding around, they’d laugh or be confused before invariably taking a step and careening into a wall.
  • Feather Fall was concealed by carrying a dinky parasol, floating around like Mary Poppins.
  • But where did Corky keep these balls and parasols and cigars? Well, the DM decided to spice things up by letting us each choose a more uncommon item as part of our starting set. I chose a Bag of Holding, which I kept on my person at all times.
  • Corky the Clown was also a little bit of a kleptomaniac, always looking out for things that might prove useful for an act. The party investigating a city’s commercial district led to him finding an abandoned shipping crate full of bandanas.
  • These bandanas saved the party’s life at a later point, where we were cornered by bandits on a sinking airship and had nowhere to go but down. The control room was all the way on the other end, blocked off by our foes. Thinking quickly, he pulled out a bunch of bandanas tied together from his sleeve and tied them around a support column, before… abandoning everyone and jumping to his death?
  • Not a chance - as he fell, the tied-together bandanas kept spewing from the Bag of Holding in his sleeve like a bungee cord, and when they ran out, he was able to use this rope and the inertia of the fall to swing across the underside of the airship, grab onto the bow, and haul himself up into the control room where he managed to make the airship narrowly avoid a mountain and crash into a lake instead.

Alas, we never did finish that campaign, so Corky’s fate will forever be lost to the ages, but I’ll never forget the time we had with him.