burning wall

3

Good to see you.

Mads Mikkelsen as Hannibal Lecter, Hugh Dancy as Will Graham, Hannibal - Dolce (S03E06)

By request of @daetsis-burning-starfire

And I’m trying to learn brave doesn’t always mean building walls and burning people with fire as protection. I’m trying to learn the kind of brave you taught me - pulling down the gates, letting go of control…
—  Sade Andria Zabala, You Make Me Feel Human 
LUP theory

thoughts about LUP after this episode, because holy shit did we learn a lot (spoiler warning episode 58):

1. LUP is the Red Robe who was in Wave Echo Cave with the gauntlet, and she was the owner of the umbra staff. It would explain why Barry freaked out at the umbra staff in episode 35 and why the staff burned LUP into the wall in Lunar Interlude IV, plus Barry said in this episode that Wave Echo Cave is a place LUP would go to

Red Robe: Wha- What? Where di-? What did you? YOU FOUND HER?

It’s an ancient dwarves vault containing artifacts of immeasurable power. It is exactly where LUP would have hidden the gauntlet.

2. The umbra staff is LUP’s phylactery (basically, the object her soul is stored in), which means….

3. LUP is the voice Taako heard when he put on the telepathy band, because she was talking to him through the umbra staff and trying to get him to trust Barry

*plays guitar* GoD i DreAMed there WAs an aNGel *sticks up middle finger* WHO cOULD hEaR mE thROUGh the WAlls *breaks window* as I cRIED out lIkE in lATin tHis is sO not life at AlL *smashes guitar* help me OuT out of this NIGHTmare then I HeArD her SILver CALL *contracts three kinds of deadly diseases* she SAID just gIVE me Time kID i COME to oNe anD aLL *breaks own arm* SHE SAID gIVE me ThaT hANd plEase an ITCH you cANt coNtrOl *chops off my own leg* let me tEacH you hOw to HANDle all the SADness in yOur sOul *gets arrested* yeah w’Ell WoRk that SILvEr MAgic then we’ll AIM it aT the wAlL *burns jailhouse to the ground* she said lOve may mAKe you BLIND kid but I WoULdnT mINd at aLL

More about tipping points/hitting the wall

Some of you might have read my post about ADHD “tipping points,” a situation where a person who was functioning fairly well goes through a change in environment, expectations, or support systems where they can no longer cope, and become extremely disabled. They look and feel like they’re falling apart, and they may get diagnosed for the first time.

Someone mentioned that this phenomenon sounds an awful lot like autistic burnout. I agree, to some extent. However, I think it’s possible to reach a tipping point without burning out entirely (though probably not vice versa). Why?

I’ve actually had two tipping points in my life. One in college, where I sought out and got a diagnosis, and I did not burn out. And one during graduate school, where I did.

So, what was different about college? 

It wasn’t use of formal disability accommodations. Ironically, in college, I did not seek out or receive any accommodations from my school, or even register with the disability office. In grad school, I did register with the disability office and got accommodations for some assistive technology and executive function coaching.

More frequent breaks. My college was on the quarter system. I routinely burned out by the eighth week (luckily my finals were papers which were due early), and spent the end of the quarter and the week or two of breaks in between recovering. By the beginning of the next quarter I had my enthusiasm and mental functioning back. My graduate school was on the semester system, which tests one’s endurance a lot more. Also, graduate students are expected to work on breaks, so I never got a chance to fully recuperate between semesters.

Ability to subtract things from my life. I was involved in a number of clubs and dorm activities my freshman year, including an orchestra and a small student music group. I gradually cut back, until I was involved in no organized activities and my socializing consisted of informal hanging out with friends during mealtimes and in the afternoons and evenings after class. I finally gave up (and made peace with giving up) playing an instrument midway through college, along with drawing and fiction writing, which I had loved. In graduate school, there was very little to cut. I needed to take care of myself and spend time with my partner. I cut back on blogging, social media, volunteering with a local disability organization, and a class I had yearned to sit in on concerning the philosophy of psychiatry (I regret all those choices). It still wasn’t enough, and it made me feel out of touch with the reasons I’d pursued studying neuroscience in the first place.

Limited self-care tasks. In college, I deliberately arranged my life so that I would not have to struggle with self-care, which was time-consuming and exhausting for me at the time. I lived on campus in a dorm (where cleaning staff cleaned the bathrooms and cooking areas), ate mostly in the dining hall, and thus had limited cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping. In graduate school, my partner and I shared an apartment and cooking, cleaning, and shopping duties. To be close to campus and downtown, we lived about a mile walk from the grocery store, so just buying groceries was an ordeal.

Support outside of school. In college, living near home and with parental support, I was lucky enough to try occupational therapy (OT), therapy for my anxiety and depression, and medication. In grad school, I was cut off from my previous support network and had to build a new one. I did find a therapist and a prescriber after a while, but it took a long time and some false starts. I tried executive function coaching, but I really needed something more intensive than I got. The free executive coaching through disability services wasn’t helpful, and some of the suggestions were even counterproductive (e.g., switching certain sorts of lists and planning from paper to digital to be more “efficient”, or testing out unhelpful organizational software I had to pay for).

My overall environment. I loved my college. I loved my few close friends, I enjoyed the culture of the student body in general, I loved my teachers and my classes. My senses and emotions were nourished by the physical campus, and the town around the campus was the perfect size with the right amount of things to do, and the ideal balance between “real world” and “college bubble.” My graduate school was in a place that I, frankly, hated. I hated the undergraduate culture there, too, and because the town was dominated by undergraduates during the school year, I hated what they turned the place into. I loved my lab and adviser, and I enjoyed my classes, my teachers, my peers, and my department, but I didn’t feel like I fit in. My entering class never gelled as a unit; there were a lot of cliques, and I didn’t belong to them. I tried to make friends by starting a writing group but it didn’t last when I had to cut activities to stay afloat. My labmates were friendly to me and would respond when I talked to them, but they never sought me out to socialize either inside or outside the lab. My partner hated living there and was angry I had chosen to go there, and was even more isolated than I was. He had no one but me there, so I needed to spend a lot of time and energy on him and repairing our relationship that I didn’t always have. In academia, you go where the jobs are, no matter how heinous the town or the university/department culture. I had thought it didn’t matter to me where I lived since I didn’t go out much. The experience taught me that my physical and broader social environment make a huge difference–and therefore that I should rethink academia.

I suspect that I came close to burning out in college many times, but because of the college environment itself and the coping strategies and support networks I chose, I always brought myself back from the brink. Thus, I ended up with a tipping point that did not end in burn-out. My graduate-school tipping point ended in burnout and in a lot of ways, resembles autistic burnout. About a year after my burnout began, I am still recovering.


TL;DR? Here are some conclusions:

1) You can have more than one tipping point in your life. They can be more or less severe.

2) You can have a tipping point without burning out. You probably can’t burn out without having a tipping point.

3) Just like your environment and coping strategies determine whether you hit a tipping point, they also make a difference in whether you burn out.

4) Being diagnosed, developing coping strategies, and using services doesn’t prevent you from having tipping points again later.


Has anyone else had tipping points without burnouts, or multiple tipping points of different severity?

10/28/16

I don’t hate you,” she whispered. “I can’t hate you. I wish I did. I wish I could scream and punch walls and burn everything with you in it because I hate you so much. But I don’t. And that’s the worst part. I love you. God, do I love you, even now, even when you walked away and shattered me like glass. And it’s ripping me apart.
I’ve always put myself down. Over and over. “You’re ugly” “You’re fat” “You’re disgusting” “you’re stupid” And what purpose does that really serve? I’m just beating myself up. And making myself feel like shit. I’m making myself so small. So I started to think, what are my good traits? I may not be gorgeous. I may get acne. My teeth aren’t perfect. But I do feel pretty sometimes. I may not be as thin as I was. But does an extra 10 pounds really define who I am? I like having an hour glass figure. I’m such a klutz. I run into walls, I burn frozen pizzas, most the time I’m slow at getting jokes and I make a mess without realizing. I’ll shake the ranch and forget I took off the cap. I used to beat myself up over that. But those little quirks make me who I am and it makes people laugh and they find it endearing. My boyfriend has seen me with a full face of makeup and he’s seen me with not a stitch on. With my acne scars. He’s seen my body with cellulite and a few extra pounds and still thinks I am beautiful. So why can’t I see that? Why am I still beating myself up? Maybe it’s because I got told that everyday in school but I’m so tired of it. There will always be someone prettier, skinnier and smarter. There is only one me in the entire world. And I’m sick of spending my life beating myself up and telling myself how awful I am. I want to accept myself. I may not be the prettiest or skinniest but I have a lot of great things to offer. I know I’m a kind, caring, funny person. And most important of all, I may not be perfect but I’m finally getting okay with that. Maybe if we focus on the good we may see that we do have a lot to offer and that we are good enough.
—  Chapters from my life

femmethem  asked:

maps by the front bottoms and ronan lynch?? U x U

Adam is not sure when he first looked at Ronan and saw his softness.

Somewhere between broken down cars and baby ravens, between dead Welsh kings and dead best friends and dead dream selves.
Adam’s got a plan for his life, and nowhere in that map is there a road marked ‘Ronan Lynch’ or even ‘love’ but Ronan doesn’t seem to care, he bursts through all of Adam’s walls and burns down all of his expectations and then holds out a sleeping mouse for Adam to touch. Scarred knuckles are something Adam never trusted but on Ronan they feel like home.

Adam’s never had something feel like home before.

Sometimes he gets into a nasty place in his head, and he can’t help but think that Ronan Lynch would not have let himself get hit for so many years.

He knows that’s not fair, that he did what he had to do to survive and now he’s here, on the precipice of all of his dreams coming true, one foot out the door of this shit town, so he must have done something right. But that doesn’t mean he still doesn’t dream (have nightmares) where their roles are reversed, where he’s raised the middle of three boys, creating miracles in his hands (watching his father, his loving but distant father, bleed out in the driveway) and he thinks he wouldn’t be good in these shoes either.

Ronan looks at him and doesn’t ask him to stay, but he makes him want to, and isn’t that terrifying.

He pulls out that map, traces the line from Henrietta to his future, like a promise, like something they don’t have the words to say out loud yet, but that’s okay. The road goes both ways, and so does the promise, and so does this feeling, as new and soft as that sleeping mouse, as strong as scar tissue, as real as anything in their lives are.

Ronan hangs the map up by his bed in the Barns, next to the driving tickets and Opal’s drawings. It doesn’t make the distance between them feel any smaller, but it makes it feel doable, all the same.

Queens Replacement

Request: Harley has run off with Ivy leaving Joker in a pit of loneliness until he decides to get to know one of his clubs dancers (the reader)

Just a reminder that all of you can send in requests at any time, I write for several different fandoms.

part 2

It had been 3 weeks since Harley had begun staying with her current girlfriend Poison Ivy leaving Joker to handle his madness alone. His penthouse was destroyed; any object that reminded him of her was either smashed or burned, the walls were covered in spray paint like when he lost her the first time. He had avoided any meetings or even going outside. News had spread around that there was no longer a Queen of Gotham and that the King was soon to fall. Frost feared that if Joker didn’t go out and started attending business meetings soon the other rouges would try to take over his empire.  He finally convinced Joker to leave his home so that he is not taken down, while a few henchmen were forced to clean up the mayhem left.

The night was as normal as a night at Jokers club could ever be loud music and drunken idiots grinded on each other. You had worked at the Smile and Grin for about 2 months now, 4 days a week you danced for the entertainment of Gotham’s night scene. What you made in tips plus wage was more than enough to keep you living comfortably not far from the GCPD in your own one bedroom apartment. In the time that you had worked there the only time Joker had even acknowledged your existence was when Harley had danced on you your 5th day that sweet moment was short-lived as she had run over to him leaving you alone once again. A tense feeling fell over the crowd, alerting all the workers that the boss had finally arrived, sure enough in walked J green hair bright as ever. He seemed to be oblivious to the eyes that followed him. You knew that Harley had done a number on the mad man’s heart, the loneliness was clear in the way he held himself.  

He sat facing the crowd not really paying attention to anyone or anything in particular as the man he was in a meeting with droned on about profits and plans. Joker looked over at the spot Harley would usually dance, a small part of him hoped he would see her there, but instead he saw you. He noticed how you moved liked you had other places to be about anyone watching. Every now and then looking at the men that throwing singles at you as if they bored you, and you were doing them a favor by being there. Your eyes rolled as you swung around, the more you ignored the men the more they tossed your way, this made J smile, the way you had found a way to take advantage of the men’s need to feel wanted. With the meeting long forgotten the clown prince motioned for his henchmen to take away the business man.

He called over Frost, “Who’s the girl in green with the bored expression?”

“That’s Y/N L/N; she goes by Neo, moved here from central city 2 months ago started working her a couple of days later. Lives alone, no pets, single. No criminal record but her father as a long list of burglary, and her Mother was imprisoned for murder when Y/N was 12.”

“So she’s more or less a good girl…” J growled, “Easily manipulated.”

“Sir please she’s one of our best dancers”

Joker held up his hand to silence him. He looked from you to Frost and nodded toward seat next to himself, meaning that Frost was to bring you to him without another word.

Just as a man slid a 20 into the top of your dress you looked up and saw Frost headed straight toward you. Without a word you glided off the stage, Frost took your hand and guided you out of the crowd toward the VIP lounge area. Behind you where the sounds of ‘awe’s’ and ‘come on bring her back’.

“Keep the nonchalant look up it pleases the boss alright” Frost said eyes forward, jaw clenched as if he knew there was no way for the night to end well.
Frost left you standing in front of Joker you felt like a kid in the principal’s office, everything bad or at least what wouldn’t please the boss went through your mind. You make a clicking noise and looked around. “Sooo Mr. Boss man sir what can I help ya with, a dance, palm reading, or maybe directions to the nearest church”, Joker only growled in response, “ funny though if anyone liked a joke it would be you… if I’m being fired just say it J-man”

Joker patted his lap without a word his face still emotionless as when you had walked in. You slowly walked over to him but he had different ideas, roughly he grabbed you by your hips making you straddle him causing you to fall forward ever so slightly. Your hands landed on either side of his head as you looked down into his blue eyes.

“I want to hear a little story about a girl who comes to Gotham and becomes a stripper for the most the most feared man in town and don’t leave out any details about living with a robber and a murder.” Joker ran his fingers through you hair.  

It was all for Clara Oswald

In case it wasn’t clear enough before, we know now for a fact. 

Four and a half billion years of living in his own hell, punching a wall, burning himself up so he could live to do it again. And he didn’t do it to protect the secret of the hybrid. He didn’t do it to get to Gallifrey. He didn’t even do it for revenge. He fought against his own nightmare and a diamond wall just to get to the only place he knew could help him save her. And he did it willingly over and over. For Clara. 

That was his motivation for 4.5 billion years. Saving Clara Oswald. 

Laws of time and space crumble in comparison to how much he loves her. 

I’m playing my first GURPS campaign and my second ever RPG, based in the My Hero Academia universe. My character is basically a bomb with anxiety (powers like Concussion from Zoom). Who also is developing really bad luck when it comes to running into walls. 

In the first training exercise I was flying through, rescuing dummies from a burning building. After passing the last victim through a hole in the crumbling wall, I decided to make a badass exit by doing a flying leap blasting out of the wall, doing the last bit of damage the house could take before it collapsed. 

I failed the attack roll to break the wall, the dexterity roll to jump through the hole, the strength roll to push through the crumbling wall, the roll to avoid the fire, and then rolled the maximum possible amount of damage I could take. Instead of making an epic exit, I faceplanted into a burning wall and then had to be rescued. 

In the latest session, we were doing fugitive captures and had our ‘wanted person’ (another student) cornered with a force field and surrounded. I wanted to try and grapple her, but my character didn’t realize the force field was there and in the spirit of not metagaming I decided to waste my attack and run at the open-looking area covered by the field. 

I expected to fail the attack. What I didn’t expect was to roll a critical failure on my dexterity save (3d6, all 6’s) and then roll another 6 on the 1d6 damage. My character lost over half their health on a headlong run into an invisible wall, and everyone (even the fugitive) skipped a round of combat to either bust out laughing or check to see if I was alright. 

(When I made another critical failure on my very next roll the DM just let me try again.)

Overwatch shared house Headcanons

so I was inspired by @inspector-starfish to do massive post about all of the over watch charters living in a house together. so with out further a due here we go

first off all of the charters rooms 

  • Tracer:  her room is probably moderately messes with just cloths and maybe a few comics books spread around everywhere. SO MUCH ENGLISH JACK STUFF EVERYWHERE. like the bed sheets, the pillows, the wall paper all English jack. she also probs has a poster by Amelia Earhart on her wall.
  • Genji: he has a very simplistic bedroom with swords hung on the wall and Japanese sayings hung all over the walls. probably burns incense too and most likely has a big ass dragon panting above his bed. his room is spot less.
  • pharra: kinda mess but not to bad more of organized clutter. she has mission reports over every surface of her desk also a bunch of tools so she can work on her armor when needed. she refuse to work on it in the garage because torbjorn or junkrat might try and make “improvements to it
  • solider 76: you would expect a nice clean military room and you would bee right if he was about 20 years younger. no his room has pulse rifle rounds scattered around the room. the bed is probably never made. probably has a captain america poster on his wall and picture of him and reaper before everything went to shit. 
  • mcree:  his room is filed with western movie memorabilia. like a broke back mountain poster, or like 10 posters of Owen Wilson from any movie he was a cowboy in. probably throws his clothes everywhere and probably practices his aim in his room to so there is like a dozen soda cans with bullet holes on his floor. 
  • bastion: dosent technically need a room but he gets one any way because why not. the windows are always open and their are so many bird feeders and potted plants. there is always at any given time like 6 birds in his room.
  • d.va: she has a mini box tv in her room with a game cube, ps1 and sega that she alternates through. she has posters of anime all over her room . so many chip bags and soda bottles cover the floor you cant walk in there with out making noise.
  • hanzo: probably has dragons and wolves painted all over the walls. has a bunch of bows hung on the wall like genjis swords. he probably has a dragonnite and garydose plushie d.va got for him laying on his bed. he also has a incenses burner in his room
  • junkrat and roadhog: so they originally had rooms right next to each other until the broke the wall down, destroying that security deposit.they are used to sleeping where they can see each other out in the outback and cant sleep well otherwise. their room is covered with empty bomb canisters and scrap metal. it smells like gasoline at all times. it probably has at least on poster of crocodile Dundee in it.
  • lucio: full sound board and dj set. has posters of every famous band or artist from journey to vaporwave. has pet frog that me loves named mc rabbit or something equally cheesy. the actual folds his cloths nicely but the never get put away
  • mei: a very nice light blue room with a huge polar bear stuffed animal by the side of her bed.  lots of clutter every were most of it just soft blankets and notes. has a cute little bed for snowball her weather changing drone.
  • mercy: the prettiest most immaculate room in the house. its painted a pretty light yellow and has pictuers of everyone on the team hung up on the walls. she has a little window herb garden that she takes care of and a Russian blue cat  who only loves her. 
  • reaper: think of the most edgy emo bedroom you can think of. now times that by like 100 thats reapers room. there are shotguns all over the floor and he painted his only window black. he a metalic poster and blasts their music to annoy 76
  • reinhart: so many suites of armor and swords. probably has a record player that he only has one album he listens to. its a rush album. probably has a lion plushie d.va thought he would like. he loves it . pretty tidy actually 
  • symmetra: so much order. everything has a place and it must be in that place. her room is really clean except her desk which is covered with schematics.
  • trobjorn: his has a blue prints everywhere. even the walls are blue prints. only Ikea products   his in his room . nothing else
  • winston: his room is probably has a mini lab in it and tire swing. peanut butter jars and day old banana peels are every where. also probably has every plant of the apes movie
  • zarya: weight her room is full of weights. she has medals from all her weight lifting contests. she has  posters of other strong females like Ronda rosey. 
  • zenyatta: has a mini rock garden and a bonzi tree. dosent need to sleep so he just has a mediation mat.
  • widowmaker:  very Victorian Gothic style of room. like it very nice but also cold as hell in there and for some reason smells like blood.


okay time for some additional random head canons that happen in this chaotic  house hold

  • every Saturday is movie night and each week they draw out of a hate to deiced who gets to choose the movie. everyone complains if its 76 or junkrat because they all know they are going to watch either a war movie or a mad max movie. 
  • reaper likes scare people at night by going wraith from and making ghost noises . it never works
  • mercy and bastion have a nice little garden they take care of together. it has flowers, herbs and blueberrys
  • roadhog and Reinhardt leave their weapons every where because they just forget about them.
  • symmtrera hiding all of junkrats explosives when roadhog is out on a mission because road hog is like all of that kids impulse control
  • 76 being a dad and makeing all they younger heros clean their rooms and do the dishes chores and stuff
  • 76 and reaper fighting over who mows the lanw
  • torbjorn just dose it
  • .pharra and widowmaker often fight over the last piece of cake while tracer is the one that eats it while watching them fight
  • zenyetta try to get the team to meditate with him it dosent work.
  • mcree smoking all the time zarya actually crushed all his cigars he had on him at one point.
  • hanzo genji and d.va playing Pokemon together
  • mei and luico listing to music together

thats everything for now there is bound to be more maybe most likely

college au where wash and tucker are room mates in a dorm room haunted by church

yes that’s a burn mark on the wall and it’s totally not related to a freak microwave incident that killed church and was definitely not caused by caboose

Along with the made up Banshee powers, the character destruction, out of character moments, turning Stiles into a user and Lydia into a snake, that Teen Wolf will also drop Marrish - the Banshee and Hellhound connection…..

Marrish: they were two outcasts surrounded by death and confusion at what they are and can do… who shared their pain and insecurities with each other. Who didn’t judge each other. Who made each other stronger and happy.

Banshee and Hellhound connection: this connection has been shown to be very powerful. What with the Banshee reaching out to the Hellhound whenever HH is in danger or whenever the Banshee is in danger - sense each other. The Hellhound will literally burn though walls and people to protect the Banshee. AND their powerful abilities cancel each other out - the nuclear scream didn’t harm him, and the flames didn’t harm her.

They built up this amazing and unique pairing that shared a genuine friendship without abuse, name calling, or screaming. Just two that cared. But that will all be thrown away. And for what you ask? For the most fan serviced ship that has been forced through two of the worst seasons ever on this show.