How To Guide For Non Latinxs to Cook Latinx Dishes

1. You must dance with your food. Salsa, Merengue, Bachata… whichever. Dance with the food to give it flavor then upload it to social media. This gives the food Spicy Exotic Latinx Zing™ that everyone loves.

2. You must sacrifice a family member of yours to our ancestors to further add flavor to the food. Videotape the sacrifice and send it to your local police station so they can see you’re just doing it to cook a Latinx dish. They’ll understand, they just need proof.

3. Get a Mexican, Spanish, Puerto Rican, or Dominican flag tattooed on your forehead to further add Spicy Exotic Latinx Zing™ because of course.. those are the only Latinx countries in existence, according to non Latinxs worldwide.

4. Stay away from adobo, sofrito, sazón, y tudo. REAL LATINXS™ don’t use any of that. Instead, we use butter, oil and salt. Take off your clothes, roll in butter, oil, and salt, and rub the food all over you. Do this while listening to Shakira and JLo and Whatnot™ and the food will taste better.

5. This is a crucial step. If you don’t do it, the food will taste bland. If you wanna cook como mi gente, this must be done. Go to Manhattan and burn Tr*mp Tower. This makes the food marinate faster and gives it that authentic Islandy Feel™ as you show Trump that you’re in solidarity with Latinxs worldwide.

huge spider in the kitchen. steve and i both tried to jump into eachothers arms to escape, collided in mid air, and both got knocked out. spider vanished. we have to burn the tower down

Helen is not of Troy
and not of Sparta.
She does not live in the towers of burning Ilium,
or the ruined palaces of once-great Greece–
No, she is found between the folds of history
over and over and over again.

Blamed and de-famed and cruelly scorned,
She is every woman who bears the burden
of the faults of men and gods.

She is all of us–
History repeating itself,
maybe to punish
maybe to teach
maybe to remind
But it does not matter–
Whatever might be the ill-taught lesson,
the shouts of the imprisoned and deprived
are forever lost in the clanging of weapons,
false pride
and forgotten women.

Sing, o goddess, the rage of Helen
–which launched not a thousand ships
but was stifled and silenced
by a war fought wrongly in her honour.

—  sing, o goddess, the rage of helen | by prithvi. p

the-darkhunter  asked:

Hey there :-) Can you make me a rec list about firefighter sterek please? Thanks ;-)

sure! here are some cute and lovely fics that you might haven’t seen before, hopefully you’ll enjoy them!

stiles is a firefighter

  • You Are My Fire by omelet (Not Rated, 8k)  Derek thinks this is getting a little out of hand. Because honestly, he never would have guessed that he would one day come to own a firemen-themed calendar.
  • untitled by bleep0bleep (T, 1k)  Laura punches him playfully in the shoulder, chuckling. “Dude, lighten up on the staff here. It’s not their fault they think you’re one of the dudes going in the calendar.” 
  • start a fire in your heart by dedougal (E, 6k)  Stiles wants nothing more than to keep his head down and get on with his job as a firefighter. Of course, that’s when his photo ends up on the front pages, drawing attention from places he thought he’d left behind.

derek is a firefighter

  • until the clock strikes midnight again by decideophobia (T, 5k) Derek stumbles upon a test then, towards the end of the magazine, and before he realizes what he’s doing, he’s reading out loud, “Are you good in bed?”Stiles drops his pen.
  • untitled by pantstomatch (T, 3k)  Stiles is not stuck. To random passers-by it could appear that he is stuck, but he’s completely capable of getting down off this motherfucking tree all by himself. There was absolutely no reason to call the fire department, Isaac, given that they have a perfectly serviceable ladder in the garage, and Stiles totally has the agility of a jungle cat. Climbing down this tree should be a piece of cake. It’s just that, you know: tiny kitten.
  • stop, drop and roll by thepsychicclam (M, 12k)  Stiles knows he’s in trouble when he invites the Beacon Hills Fire Department into his third grade classroom and he can’t stop staring at a certain scruffy fireman. But after the third graders take a field trip to the fire station and participate in the fire department’s holiday canned food drive, Stiles can’t ignore his crush any longer.
  • boy in blue by kaihire (G,5k)  Stiles gets injured on the job because he’s just awesome like that, and it turns out his usual massage therapist isn’t in. Unfortunately, the masseur who’s replacing him is precisely the reason Stiles ended up getting hurt in the first place.
  • untitled by thepsychicclam (T,2k)  stiles is a waiter at the diner down the street from the fire station, and fireman!derek comes in frequently for lunch.
  • everybody loves good neighbors by stilinskisparkles (M, 7k)  What about an “everything run-down and suddenly a guy falls through the ceiling; now there’s a hole in the ceiling of my bedroom”-AU thing?
  • just when you think you’re in control by trilliastra (T, 2k) While Josh rushes to grab his things and Stiles tries to clean some of the mess on Josh’s table, the door opens with a bang and suddenly Derek Hale is running inside, disheveled and clearly upset.Stiles would feel sorry for him – and in another situation, he would even stop to admire Derek’s perfect body and face – but he crushed a little boy’s heart and that’s unforgivable.
    In which Stiles thinks Derek is the worst uncle when he’s, actually, the best.
  • Through Fire by hazelNuts (G, 1k) “‘you’ve just been saved from a burning building and you’re begging to go back in to save your pet cat’ au - sterek - that cat has been by stiles’ side since forever and his mom give it to him and even tho he’s old and almost blind please save him"Derek watches as Boyd tries to stop a man from running back into the burning apartment building. Boyd towers over him, but the guy is a fighter and his colleague is having some real trouble holding him back. The guy is aiming for the places he knows he will hurt the firefighter the most, his crotch, his solar plexus. He even tries to kick him in the knees. This isn’t going to end well for either man if someone doesn’t stop that guy soon.
  • Emergency Hugs by LadyDrace (T, 2k) EMERGENCY HUGS
    INQUIRE WITHIN The sign looks cheerful enough, as much as a sign can when composed of entirely letters in a sturdy black frame, but Stiles doesn’t know why he’d stopped to stare at it. Okay, that’s a lie. He does know.
  • untitled by mad-madam-m (Not Rated, 1k) “Would you like to donate to the Beacon Hills Firefighters Fund?”  Stiles gapes at the specimen of a man standing beside his car, holding out a giant rubber boot with a cheerful “DONATE” sign taped to it. The man is tall, dark, bearded, and frowning, though Stiles can’t tell if the latter is because he’s genuinely unhappy or just protecting his eyes from the sun’s glare.  “Uh,” Stiles says, because it’s too early for him to think when he’s looking at a firefighter who might as well have walked out of his wet dreams. 
  • Cooking With (A) Fire(man) by literaryoblivion (G, 2k) After a kitchen accident in his dorm, Stiles is forced to take a cooking class as punishment and ends up meeting a very attractive fireman to share his cooking station with… and maybe a few other things.
  • untitled by howlnatural (T, 2k) After Tilly the three-legged jack russell, Dr McCall - the aforementioned vet -seemed to know instinctively which tragic dog cases Derek wouldn’t be able to turn down. Dana the Australian shepherd and Bobby the former police dog who’d gone deaf in a meth lab explosion followed, and then Derek had moved to a bigger place and kind of forgotten about dating. Until Stiles.
  • Emergency Love by Kedreeva (E, 14k) Wherein Derek is a firefighter and Stiles is a paramedic, and they just keep meeting.
  • Hot Like Burning by Leslie_Knope (T, 2.5k)  In which Derek is the grumpy neighborhood firefighter, and Stiles is a bit of a lovestruck idiot.
  • Cupboard Love by mklutz (G, 33k) He’s carefully balancing the sandwiches and the two biggest tupperware containers he could find that both had functioning lids when the front door opens and he almost drops everything right there in front of the stupid fountain. If that’s Derek Hale, he’s definitely not a mountain man.
  • untitled by stileshale (Not Rated, 1k) Derek is a firefighter and Stiles likes it when he comes home in his gear.
  • untitled by lycanthrophies (Not Rated, 2k)  Riling Derek up became a fun past time activity for Stiles pretty fast, because Derek tries so hard to be stoic sometimes, it’s really a highlight to see him crack open and either get adorably flustered, or—even better—make him laugh out loud.

i brought you flowers, lya.  flowers for you.  they’re your favorites–the blue winter roses.  brandon never noticed, but i did.

they are dying in his hands, the flowers he brought her from the north.  he’d tried drying the petals the way that lya had used to do, but he’d done it wrong.  mayhaps you couldn’t dry the whole rose.  mayhaps you could only dry the petals when you’d plucked them away from the flower.

it was stupid to bring them.  

you stupid! she was always calling them stupid.  brandon when he tried to pull rank and age, ned when he tried to reason with her–both stupid.  stupid boys.  sometimes it was fond, other times it was not.  you truly think robert will change for me? don’t be stupid, ned.  don’t be stupid.  

there’s blood on the roses.  arthur dayne’s blood, and gerold hightower’s.  blood because there’s blood on his hands.  ned tried to wipe the blood away so the roses wouldn’t be covered in it but he hadn’t done it well enough.  it will be all right, though.  lya will call him stupid–the fond sort of stupid–and she’ll smile at and it will be all right.  

eddard! she’d screamed to him before the fight, a name she only used when something was wrong.  truly wrong.  eddard, when mother had died, eddard, when ben had fallen from a tree and broken his leg, eddard, the last time he’d seen her before…

she was captive.  that’s all.  

he can’t imagine her a captive.  he can’t imagine the white knights of the kingsguard knowing what to do with her.  he imagines her trying to climb down the tower through her window the way she’d used to climb the burned tower at winterfell, he imagines her making pointed comments about how swordsmanship doesn’t make a man, he imagines her berating them for what true knight holds a girl captive? what prince does? how can they live with themselves? 

it will be all right.  lya fights everything.  it was just a warning–that ser arthur is–was–the best swordsman, that there were three of them, that–

there’s blood.

blood on the floor, blood on the bed, blood between her legs.  her face is pale as death and her lips are dry and cracked and scabbed, and her grey eyes are shining with fever.

“eddard,” she says. her voice is so weak.

“lya.  i brought you flowers lya.  i brought…”


Requested, thank you

“Thank you for getting me out of there” you thanked the team as you looked between them all, only now really having a chance to talk since just reaching Stark Towers. “The last thing we wanted was for more people to be brainwashed, now you have a chance to do some good with the power you have” Steve smiled happily. “You should probably carry an extinguisher around without until your powers are fully under control. Last thing we need is you burning down my tower” Tony nodded, all eyes quickly on him glaring slightly for his words, though he didn’t care.
Prank War.

Request from anon: Could you please write a tonyxteen daughter!reader where she usually pranks everyone and the team wants to get revenge. thank you so much and sorry if my english is not good enough, i´m from Spain hehehe

Tony Stark x Teen Daughter!Reader

Word: 1,756

Warnings: Nothing that I can really think of other than the mention of a small injury (knock to the head)….and a grumpy Bucky haha!

Disclaimer: None of the GIFs used are mine so all credit goes to their creators <3


The angry voice boomed through the corridors on the floor where The Avengers lived and it just fuelled the amusement that you were already experiencing. You hadn’t been there to see what had happened first hand but you didn’t need to be because you had set the whole thing up and by the angry shout of your name it was clear that the prank worked wonderfully!

“I swear to god [y/n] you better show your face now!”

It was Bucky who had fallen victim this time and out of the whole team he was the only one who didn’t really seem to have a sense of humour when it came to this kind of stuff…which made him all that more entertaining to target. You backed up into a room as you covered your mouth with your hand to muffle your laugh only to hear an all too familiar clearing of a throat.

Plastering an innocent smile onto your face you quickly turned on the balls of your feet to meet your dad….the one and only Tony Stark himself.

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Steve Rogers Imagine

Requested: Anonymous

Imagine: can you please write a steve rogers imagine where you are going to meet the team and Bucky was your childhood bully. and so bucky starts to be rude and mean to you (obviously when steve isn’t around) and steve is totally unaware of the fact that bucky was your childhood bully. thank you so much, i love ur writing!! 

A/N: thank you love, glad you do <3 || it’s long ;3

Warning: None

Steve slid on his pizza shirt and tried to fix the wrinkles that were bugging him. You giggle as you watch him struggle with straightning out the wrinkles.

‘’This shirt hates me.’’ steve growls.

A few more tugs and he gave up, he mumbles an angry comment underneath his breath and removed his shirt. He went back into the closet and started to scan around for another shirt.

‘’So, are you excited to meet the team?’’ steve shouts from the closet.

‘’I don’t know.. What if they don’t like me?’’ you ask, biting your lip.

‘’You’re right they’re not going to like you,’’ steve sighs.

‘’They’re going to love you.’’ steve finishes, poking his head out of the closet and smiling at you.

The word ‘love’ didn’t really fit with the feelings that Bucky had for you. You haven’t met the team, but you’ve met Bucky for sure. And Bucky wasn’t a stranger nor an acquaintance. He was your childhood bully.

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