Love…is an awesome force. It can make us do things we never imagined possible. For you see, we don’t actually choose love, it chooses us. And once it has, we are powerless to do anything about it. Ladies and gentlemen, raise your glasses with me in toasting my brother…and the love of his life.
Imagine you’re in love with Jax since you were kids and after Tara dies he uses you but realizes he loves you
Before Wendy, before Tara, before anyone; There was you.
Charming, California. 1992
“Yeah, but have you actually ever kissed a girl before, Jax?”
Naive question. But your 10 year old self was so innocent, so pure back then you thought nothing of it. The smallest Teller looked at you, arching an eyebrow and shaking his head. “That’s gay.”
“No, It’s not.”
“Yes; It is.”
You sighed looking around as you sat down on the sidewalk watching people and cars past by. You’ve know Jax since you were born, JT and your father Otto being close, as he was an Original, and you’ve liked him since you knew what liking was. It was a quiet Sunday afternoon out of TM, when your parents sent you both outside, as they had to talk grown ups business. You were both bored of your asses and playing the asking question was always appealing to you.
Jax sat down next to you. “H-Have you?”
You looked at him as if he had insulted you and shook your head as quickly as you could, your messed up piggy tails hitting your face slightly. “No.” Jax nodded, looking down at his white sneakers. Opie was on a hunting three in the cabin with Piney and Jax felt lost without his best friend; plus, being with you, a girl, wasn’t exactly doing wonders with his biker wanna be image. “You feel like playing?” Jax asked you as you nodded, you both getting up walking to the back side of the work shop. It was hot and there was big piles of old rusty moto bike parts, that Jax wasted to time to hop on.
“What are we playing?”
“Let’s play Sons of Anarchy.” He said grabbing a stick from the ground as he saw the clubhouse in the distance. You kicked a near rock and sat down on the arid dust floor. “What?”
“I’m always a Prospect. I want to be the President now.”
“No way; I’m the president.” You rolled your eyes and turned around walking away. “Wait, (Y/N)!” You kept walking as you heard little bits of motor bikes fell. “Wait!” He called again and you didn’t stopped until you heard the mess that it was all the parts spreading around everywhere and the panicked scream of Jax as he fell from the pile. You gasped and turned around, running towards him and kneeling next to him; the red lines already running down his forehead.
“Jax!” You screamed putting your hands on his chest. He barely opened his eyes looking at you. You were scared and you felt the tears already coming, uncalled. “Stay; I’ll get Chibs!” You said getting up when you heard him call your name.
“(Y/N)…” He said frowning and closing his eyes. “Come here…” Your breath was heavy and your knees were now scrapped. “Kiss me.” He whispered, closed eyes and weak looking. “I might…pass out.. and not wake up…”
You blushed up to your ears when he asked you to give him your first kiss. Yet, as you thought he was going to die, you leaned closer, hand on his cheek and pressed a small, chaste kiss to his lips. He kissed back slowly, eyes closed. It lasted a few seconds, you both didn’t moved much, but you felt the butterflies you read about, the blush on your cheek, the lovely feeling of shakiness in your legs.
You felt everything.
Pulling back, you stared at him. “Jax…” you said in a mouse voice, worried since he didn’t moved . He opened one eye and smirked at you, the famous Teller smirk on his lips as he started laughing at your serious expression. “Jax Teller!” You said slapping his chest and getting up walking away.
He laughed, sitting on the ground. “Wait!” He cleaned himself up and started following you into the clubhouse. “(Y/N)!”
Charming, California. Today.
You smiled as you gave Chibs another gin tonic, his favorite drink for the night. He smiled back at you and pressed your hand slightly. The mood on the clubhouse was heavy and turned off; Tara, Jax’s wife being murdered a few weeks ago, leaving two motherless kids.
After the whole Tara drama back in High School and how Jax broke your heart by marrying two other woman, your love for him remained silent. You got married, of course, it wasn’t like you were going to wait for Jax to realize you’ve loved him more than anything, but maybe out of loneliness, out of anger, you married Josh.
It didn’t worked of course; Joshua wasn’t anything you looked for. It was horrible, those 3 years with him, specially when he made you quit your job because he didn’t wanted you around the Sons anymore. Two years ago, when you divorced him you went back to the clubhouse where everyone treated you like family because you were, after all Otto’s kid. After both of your parents deaths, the whole crew became a bit more protective of you, Bobby and Chibs being the closest to you. You sighed with content as you watched your neat work on the table, all dried up tequila shots and clean glasses made you smile, made you feel efficient.
“What’s the plan for tonight, lass?” Chibs asked, smiling at you. You shrugged and filled up his glass with beer now. Dark.
“I’ll work at the party tonight, pick up drunk people at midnight and go to bed around 5:00 AM, after making sure no one poisoned themselves.” You said. Chibs smirked and shook his head slightly, but he was sure it was how the night was going to end for you. If you looked around the clubhouse, you found yourself happy with whoever was there, with the life you choose, but a bit down at the thought that the ultimate love of your life was also there, raising two kids on his own. Wendy had split back to rehab a few months ago, leaving Jax alone with the kids and a baby sitter, a new one every month,for pretty much all of them ran scared when the found out the nature of the life the kids lived.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear; Jax Teller walked inside the clubhouse, Thomas in his arms, Abel hanging from his hand. You smiled as you locked eyes with the little boy and he waved at you. Jax looked your direction and smirked as well. “Hey.” He said as you took Thomas into your arms. “Hey, brother.” He greeted Chibs as the old man lifted his drink in response. “Just the person I wanted to see.” He said meaning you.
“What’s up?” You said holding Thomas hand.
“Brooke is out of town with Rat. The kids have no nanny.” Chibs looked at Abel and Jax, then at you. “Would you…take care of them for the night? I’ll drive you home…” You stopped looking at Thomas and looked at his dad instead. You blinked a few seconds before coming back to reality and nodding slightly. “Would you?” You nodded once again smiling at him, a fake smile. “Nice. I’ll pick them up at your place. We have to deal with some Russian shit…”
“Of course. We’ll have fun.” He bit his lip and nodded.
“Thanks, doll. You saved my life.” He winked and as Chibs got up you were left alone with Thomas and Abel and a lot of fake hopes in your heart.
Bugs Bunny was Abel’s favorite; There was no doubt. Jax gave you the night off from the party and you spent the evening with Thomas and Abel watching cartoons and fixing meals; “fun” meals. Baby carrots, mash potatoes, all of those things kids loved. While Thomas went to sleep around 8:00 PM, tummy full, Abel stood up for a few more hours and dozed off on your living room couch about 10:30. You watched them sleep in silence as you smiled at them. You never had kids with Josh, and that was a good thing, because he was a horrible human being, but you longed for nights like this; Tired night when you smelled like powdered milk and play doh, night when you would be so sick of watching cartoons you would be willing to burn your TV, and nights waiting for your husband to arrive in a Harley in the middle of the night.
You sat down on the living room, reading your magazine, when you were forced to stand up when you heard Jax’s car on the entrance. You looked at the two sleeping boys while you opened the door, being greeted by the President in person. “Hi.” You whispered.
“Hi.” He said back, smiling at you as he stepped in. The house was in full darkness, only some few dim lights you lighted to keep the kids calmed. “Were they good?”
“On their best behavior.” You said turning around and arching an eyebrow at the look Jax was giving you at the moment. He had an eternal sweet smile on his face and his look was way softer now. You just smiled at him, amazed for a few seconds and kept walking around the room, him following behind. “I’ll get Thomas stuff..” You said while entering the kitchen.
Your hands were as fast as you could. Jax’s presence and attitude making you feel nervous and a bit sad, knowing, that since you were little kids, it was a lost cause. You placed Thomas bottles and clothes when you felt a pair of strong hands caressing your sides; The feeling making you shiver and drop one bottle into the duffel bag. “Jax…”
“You were my first kiss ever…” You smiled at the memory and bit your lip, knowing it should belong like that; like a memory. You turned around and looked at him. “And you’ve been so good to me…” You smiled and looked down, nodding. “Let me pay you for that…” Your eyes snapped up at him as he leaned closer and pressed soft kisses to your collarbones.
“I don’t want your money.” You said putting your hands on his shoulders. He smiled at you and you swore you could see the devil in his eyes but at the same times, sweet little angels were dancing on his smile.
“Who said anything about cash?” You blinked as he took your hand and lead you to the bedroom. You followed him, like you have been your whole life.
Beth Greene Appreciation Week: day 2; favorite relationship ♦ beth and daryl ↳ “She’s bringing out the goodness and the hope and the belief in the world out of him, and he’s bringing that inner toughness out of her.”
D: Maybe you gotta keep on reminding me sometimes. B: No. You can’t depend on anybody for anything, right?
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Cyber security? Do you mean like RoboCop?
No, not a robot doing security work. Though that would also be great. Wait, have you seriously never heard of cyber security? It’s 2017.
Of course we have. But you control what we say to fit your narrative.
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I’ve been watching The Fosters since 3am this morning I have no more concept of who I am or what is happening in the world all I know is I want to be a suburban mom with a cute wife and 10 children right now
Everyone bitching about the vmas and shit. I did t even know that was yesterday until you guys start going off. Therefore I most not follow any faggots that reblog that shit. Also I don’t watch tv so I do a pretty good job of avoiding all that shit.
If I could offer you any advice, it would be this. don’t make a playlist of songs that remind you of him. don’t associate the seasons with his warmth. do not connect his smile to the movie you watched at two in the morning on a tuesday. avoid saying his name more than you say your own. I say this because when he leaves, he becomes those songs and each word punches you in the stomach and your heart beats to their rhythm. Every season is cold and the light from the tv burns your eyes and you can still hear is laugh at his favorite part. Your tongue spits his name out as if it were his and he cannot seem to even remember the color of your eyes.