burn them at the stakes

the trash saga of flynn and lucy: xiii

i stayed up too late finishing this. is anyone surprised that i, the author of the super fine literature the trash saga of flynn and lucy, also make terrible choices? no, probably not. ao3 here.

The Salem Town Court of Oyer and Terminer  (specially established to address the problem of rampant witchcraft, if Lucy recalls, and which will be disbanded in October over disapproval of the trials – not that that helps them at all right now) is held in a crowded, stuffy room, a row of bewigged and berobed justices seated behind an imposing mahogany table and a throng of eager citizens looking on from the stalls, tense and hungry for a conviction. The atmosphere is like nothing Lucy has remotely experienced: devouring, almost cannibalistic. These people are already convinced of their guilt, and they want them to suffer for it. Hanging or burning at the stake, doesn’t matter. As she and Flynn are manhandled into the docket, both in chains, Lucy tries to catch his eye, praying for one of his spectacular plans – she doesn’t want him to pull out a gun and shoot the entire citizenry of Salem, but she also isn’t in a position to be terribly picky. He might be in no mood to save his own skin, but is he going to drag her down with him? Is she going to have to figure this out all herself? From her limited knowledge of the trials, the suspects often get tried and convicted within the space of a single day, and hanged not long after that. They have no time.

The presiding magistrate bangs the gavel, and the session is brought to order. They are asked to speak and confirm their names for the court, at which Flynn gives them a look of utter disdain. “Holden Caulfield,” he drawls. “Why not?”

“It says here that your Christian name is Garcia Flynn.” The magistrate’s brow furrows at such an unusual and un-Puritan moniker. “Men of good character have attested as much to us. Are you denying their testimony, sir?”

“Men of good character? You mean Rittenhouse? The lot who have turned up recently and encouraged you to arrest all the slightly strange women you can find?” Flynn’s chains clink as he leans forward, and the judges tense. “And anyone else they want? No. No, those aren’t men of good character. But then, you batch of pitchfork-waving shitheads wouldn’t know that, would you? How many of the women have you killed already?”

There is a communal gasp at this extremely un-Puritan language, as by the sound of things from the stalls, several upstanding members of the community have had the vapors. The magistrate clutches his gavel as if Flynn might grow wings and fly shrieking into his face on the spot. “Do you, sir, unlawfully impede the justice done by this court in the name of – ”

“Justice?” Flynn sneers. “Justice? Any of you see any justice here? This is a sham, this is all a fucking sham, and you are on the wrong side of history, I promise you that. Nobody’s going to thank you for bravely clearing Salem of the menace of the witches. You’ll be remembered as a bunch of superstitious, hysterical dicks who murdered innocent women for nothing, and did it all waving a Bible and calling yourselves the champions of God. No wonder you and Rittenhouse are such best buddies. They like the same kind of thing. Probably told you everything you wanted to hear, that this time they’d make it a clean sweep. Didn’t they?”

It is not possible for anyone to make any response to this, they’re so stunned. It’s also clear that to their eyes, Flynn could not be more obviously possessed by the Devil if he actually had horns and a tail. He’s not wrong, and of course everyone has dreamed about getting to tell historical morons where to stick it, but said historical morons also have the power to order them executed more or less on the spot. John Rittenhouse and Carol Preston aren’t going to be able to stop this, even if they don’t want Lucy to die. Once a mob gets rolling, you stand between it and its target at your peril, and they will lose whatever tenuous control Rittenhouse has over the trials if they interfere. If they even know. Emma has probably planned this very carefully.

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How I feel about other friends/signs (Gemini)
  • Aries: funniest bitches on the planet. But when I don't agree with them on something, we end up having a stare down until one of us blinks. Sometimes I wish you could shut up though, I wanna talk too.
  • Taurus: You guys like to outsmart me and many tears come out of my eyes... But you're funny. So I let it slide.
  • Gemini: I don't know. Sometimes I like you... Sometimes I fucking hate your guts... Because you remind me of me, and how annoying I am...
  • Cancer: much sensitive. Let's hit the club to loosen you up. :'D
  • Leo: sTOP TREATING ME LIKE I'M A BABY. I GOT THIS... *later* ...Can you help me?
  • Virgo: I like your perfectionist life... I kinda wanna go to your room and out like a hurricane.
  • Libra: I could hang out with you all day and not have a single dull moment. You are my partner in crime.
  • Scorpio: you're funny, sometimes. You were kinda one of those friends who I can pour out all of my emotions and you wouldn't show judgement. I like you, you're nice, but annoying.
  • Sagittarius: you push all the buttons and sometimes I just wanna murder you.
  • Aquarius: are you a mermaid? I wanna swim with you and see your tail...
  • Pisces: you... Are one sensitive little cutie.
  • I missed Capricorn.
  • Uhh...
  • Capri sun and corn? Hand it over please

anonymous asked:

Autistic anon who asked about the R-slur here. I didn't mention Jontron in my ask because whatever [the latest in a long list of celebrities I'd never heard of before Tumblr decided to burn them at the stake] said or did not say wasn't relevant to my question, which is the question that I asked. No-one deserves to get subjected to the Tumblish Inquisition, and that includes celebrities I've never heard of who someone said said a thing.

^^

9

(Requested by  withered-rose-with-thorns) Aro Volturi and the Witch Twins moodboard.

So I feel like Aro and the twins would have a father/child bond because he watched over them since they were toddlers and he saved them from being burned at the stake. 

Gifs and picture in the middle do not belong to us.

-Admin Ziggy

Maybe it’s ALWAYS the end of the world. Maybe you’re alive for a while, and then you realize you’re going to die, and that’s such an insane thing to comprehend, you look around for answers and the only answer is that the world must die with you.

Sure, the world seems crazy now. But wouldn’t it seem just as crazy if you were alive when they sacrificed peasants, when people were born into slavery, when they killed first-born sons, crucified priests, fed people to lions, burned them on stakes, when they intentionally gave people smallpox or syphilis, when they gassed them, burned them, dropped atomic bombs on them, when entire races tried to wipe other races off the planet?

Yes, we’ve ruined the planet and melted the ice caps and depleted the ozone, and we’re always finding new ways to kill one another. Yeah, we’re getting cancer at an alarming rate and suicides are at an all-time high, and, sure, we’ve got people so depressed they take a drug that could turn them into pasty-skinned animals who go around all night dancing and having sex and eating stray cats and small dogs and squirrels and mice and very, very rarely- the statistics say you’re more likely to be killed by lightning- a person.

But this is the Apocalypse? Fuck you! It’s always the Apocalypse. The world hasn’t gone to shit. The world is shit.

All I’d asked was that it be better managed

—  Jess Walter, We Live in Water: Stories
Random late night Incryptid thought.

So Dragon Princesses tend to accumulate a great deal of  wealth, live in small communal groups of other Dragon princesses, and are fairly secretive and standoffish with outsiders, all things that could lead to them being considered strange weirdos to the local community, or possibly a cult or coven. (I imagine a lot of groups posed as nuns at a convent to avoid this)  They are also completely fireproof.

A lot of the various witch trials during the early modern period were basically excuses by those in power to try and seize the property of the accused.

At some point in the 15-17th century, someone accused  a nest of Dragon Princesses of being witches and/or heretics and tried to have them burned at the stake in order to get at their gold. 

This ended poorly, and the leader of that particular nest is still on the rolls somewhere as a minor Catholic Saint.

Maybe it’s ALWAYS the end of the world. Maybe you’re alive for a while, and then you realize you’re going to die, and that’s such an insane thing to comprehend, you look around for answers and the only answer is that the world must die with you.

Sure, the world seems crazy now. But wouldn’t it seem just as crazy if you were alive when they sacrificed peasants, when people were born into slavery, when they killed first-born sons, crucified priests, fed people to lions, burned them on stakes, when they intentionally gave people smallpox or syphilis, when they gassed them, burned them, dropped atomic bombs on them, when entire races tried to wipe other races off the planet?

Yes, we’ve ruined the planet and melted the ice caps and depleted the ozone, and we’re always finding new ways to kill one another. Yeah, we’re getting cancer at an alarming rate and suicides are at an all-time high, and, sure, we’ve got people so depressed they take a drug that could turn them into pasty-skinned animals who go around all night dancing and having sex and eating stray cats and small dogs and squirrels and mice and very, very rarely- the statistics say you’re more likely to be killed by lightning- a person.

But this is the Apocalypse? Fuck you! It’s always the Apocalypse. The world hasn’t gone to shit. The world is shit.

All I’d asked was that it be better managed.

—  Jess Walter, We Live in Water: Stories
  • y'all pre-season: i wish we had dominating female players. i really want a girl who runs the house instead of having another derrick or dan! when will we get women who'll control the house until and win the season? where are the janelles, danielles and juns?
  • vanessa and shelli: *dominate the season by running a power alliance and getting everyone to trust them while slaying competitions*
  • y'all: FUCKING BURN AT THE STAKE YOU ANNOYING BITCHES!!11!1! I WANT MY MAYO KINGS, CUMMIE-GLAZED CINNAMON BUN JOHNNY AND AWKWARD-ANGEL-PRINCE STEVE TO WIN! I HOPE VANESSA GETS RUN OVER BY A CAR BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE BEING LIED TO IN A GAME ABOUT LYING! SHELLI IS A DISGUSTING VILE OLD WOMAN I HOPE SHE FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS WHILE HOLDING HER SON/SHOWMANCE! WHY IS NO ONE NOMINATING THEM? DIEEEEE
Seeing patterns
  • White fave: *says the wrong thing*
  • Tumblr: come on, lets see all the facts. we're all humans. Its okay to like problematic people! its human to be problematic
  • Fave of color: *says the wrong thing*
  • Tumblr: I knew they weren't no good. BURN THEM AT THE STAKE!