Every day on the Food Network

Food Network Voiceover: This burger joint is special.

Viewers: *muffled gasps*

Voiceover: They’re not just putting cheese and ketchup and onions on their burgers…

Viewers: *anticipatory whispers*

Voiceover: …no, they’re doing something extra. Something you’ll NEVER believe.

Viewers: *shifting anxiously in their seats - impatient and flushed*

Voiceover: Because at THIS burger place, ever burger gets topped with…

Viewers: *whimpering*

Voiceover: A FRIED EGG

Viewers: *All simultaneously cum in their pants. Music plays throughout the world. Israel makes peace with Palestine. Cats and dogs start living together. Trump resigns.*