WTF Harry Potter Facts
The wand-lightning-shooting heatwaves of the Wizarding world are propelled by Dumbledore’s swinging beard towards the North Pole where they melt the icebergs.
Voldemort blew the Death Eater’s Harry-stalking fund on a nose-job.
Voldemort then moved the Death Eater base camp to Tools R Us to get better internet connection to aid his online 100+ Harry stalking spree.
One of these is @drarry-with-a-side-of-harry because he doesn’t even have to use legilimency to know that that’s legit. ;)
Alan Rickman would sometimes have to play Tommy Wiseau because he would sometimes sneak in and play Snape (’your tearing me APART LILY!’ ‘I did not love her, I did NOT. Oh, hi Harry’) while he was practising his German accent for Hans Gruber fan-service making him a doubly amazing actor.
Nagini died by suicide after Bellatrix mooted the idea of reshooting Anaconda with her.
The Wizarding world were the first ones to discover that shit makes good fertilizer because NO ONE uses the girls bathroom.
The Lord of the Rings Eagles considered flying in and saving the day, but they were too busy having a Fuck-Up Plot Devices That Could Have Prevented The Whole Thing party with the Time Turners.
The beauty of Tommy Wiseau: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znK7R-UASSE
By the way, Tools R Us is real. You can look it up :’)
(I am making this up. But if you can’t tell that, I’m scared for you.)
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