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  • Lucien:So, Feyre, the Spring Court. An eternity with Tamlin. You excited to be back?
  • Feyre:Yeah, no, it'll be good being back.
  • Lucien:Feyre, you just said, "yeah, no."
  • Feyre:Did I? No, I-I love Tamlin and the Spring Court.
  • Lucien:Oh.
  • Feyre:But, yeah, no, it'll be great.
  • Lucien:You just did it again.
  • Feyre:Yeah, no, shut up.

御手洗亮太 by うとう | Pixiv ID 19832902

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anonymous asked:

some of the conclusions ford comes to about himself in the journal make me pretty sad... obviously i'm glad he forgave stan and stopped putting pressure on himself to succeed, but it's like he did that by saying "oh stan's not a bad person. that means I'M a bad person" and "i don't need to achieve anything and I NEVER HAVE" like ford baby give yourself a break you invented a perpetual motion machine in high school!! he made mistakes but it's like by the end he thinks that's all he's ever done...

he’s totally taking it too hard on himself. at the end of the book he’s in a place where he just lost stan, just narrowly got stan back, just spent a week going back through all the events of his life, and he thinks he’s looking back on the entire truth, right there, that it was all his fault. the first entry he writes after weirdmageddon starts out blaming himself for all of it (“my lifetime of catastrophic mistakes”, “all my follies”) as if the root of the problem lay within himself the whole time.

it didn’t, of course, but i feel like the key thing is that at the moment, he’s in this alone – he’s spent forever with his own version of these events with no one to stop him and go hey, wait, you can’t shoulder all that blame yourself. even when someone does stop him, like fiddleford dismissing ford’s attempts at apology, ford brushes it off as just fidds’s kind heart again. as much as ford’s learned about love and kindness and togetherness, he still has a lot to learn about forgiveness and forgiving himself, and that punishing himself now won’t somehow help make up for the past. yes, he’s made mistakes, but he’s clearly learned from them, and made his amends where he could; it’s okay to let go.

– and well, all that aside, it was the end of the book! making ford’s last entries and self-reflections encompass all those past conflicts might’ve just been part of finishing the story.

(as for achievement i don’t think he’s devalued himself or what he’s achieved, but rather he regrets the lengths he would’ve once gone for it. and in the aftermath of weirdmageddon, giving everyone else credit where it’s due while remaining silent when it comes to himself feels more like humility & an attempted departure from that “lone hero” mindset. would he think something along the lines of ‘i’ve done nothing good in my life besides make mistakes’? maybe. would it be a sincere belief of his? i’d like to think not)