bunny statue

Stardew Valley Tips

Every time I watch a Stardew Valley video I learn something new…
…and feel like an idiot, after. And then I learned some stuff on my own, and still felt like an idiot.

Anyway, here’s a list of stuff I’ve learned.

  • replicating gold-star Fire Quartz in a crystalarium produces in 1 day what a diamond produces in 5 days
  • ignore everything in the Skull Cave until ~lvl 100; bring tons of bombs, stone stacks, and staircases - use staircases until you get low enough, but keep an eye out for already-there holes or staircases
  • there’s a ‘hidden’ area in the secret forest with two hardwood tree stumps
  • build silos asap even if you don’t have animals just build like 5-10 of them at the bottom of your farm and you’ll never have to think about hay again
  • chests ARE movable - when they’re empty!
  • juice your fruits and pickle your veggies -> profit
  • put an amethyst in a crystalarium for a DAILY gift for almost anyone
    • or stockpile coffee which pleases everyone but the kids
    • blackberries and sweetpeas make a lot of people moderately happy too
    • pretty much everyone loves pizza/spaghetti
  • fish + sap = quality fertilizer - use the “fish” from crab pots in ponds/rivers
  • separate coop animals from barn animals to easily find and “love” them
  • “C” lets you auto-swing your weapon, but chasing down baddies gives them less opportunities to hit you
  • slime hutch is kinda worthless tbh
  • In the Adventurer’s Gulid, Gus is the guy in the rocking chair, not the dude behind the counter. You have to click on him to get your rewards.
  • not all foods are used in recipes - check wiki to learn which you don’t need to put in your fridge
  • RECYCLING MACHINE…. >.<
  • also, smelt your quartz for refined quartz
  • hold down the mouse button and move around for fast planting/picking/decorating
  • mushroom trees DO grow back if chopped down to the stump, trees do not
    • tapping mushroom trees gives you…mushrooms
  • keep a chest solely for Museum Donations and Community Center Bundles, then make a run with a bag load of items instead of running there every single day
  • spouses get jealous if you give a single person a BIRTHDAY gift……..
  • accidental clicking is a plague on our existence, so don’t wield an axe or pickaxe while standing near your crops…
  • wait 2(?) days after cauliflower/melon/pumpkin have finished growing to see if the 3x3 grid turns into a giant crop
  • you can go inside Linus’s tent
  • those lil bear/bunny/whatever statues with gems aren’t usable, they’re simply anchors for warp totem locations
  • if you have a full inventory in the field, walk away from an available item before sorting your current inventory so nothing is accidentally picked up, just in case you needed an extra space for something like making bait from bug brains and putting them in your fishing rod
  • speed-grow soil is only worth it on crops that keep delivering throughout the season
    • that said, crops that keep delivering after growing are really only worth it after the greenhouse is available
  • “Always Show Tool Hit Location”
  • DO NOT attack white grubs in the mines, just avoid them, that way they’ll never turn into flying death bugs
  • when you see a blessed bubble in a body of water, fish there
  • You can rename your livestock
  • Leave your coop byproducts there for a day, saving that time for other chores
  • plant fruit trees anywhere on the map, and tap trees anywhere on the map
  • you can change your appearance if you’re friends with the wizard
  • line kegs/preserve jars horizontally somewhere in the center of the farm, hold down the mouse button while running, and you’ll harvest/place items in lightning speed
    • alternatively, place these machines in an unpopulated barn to conserve farm space
  • shift-click buys x5
  • everyone loves (most) baked goods
  • put flooring down below a sprinkler so it won’t be dug up when you hoe
  • put mayonnaise machines in your poultry coup, looms in your rabbit coop, and cheese makers, looms, and oil presses in your barns
  • those worms sticking out of the ground have things to dig up (which took me 1 year of game time to learn…)
  • in the beginning of the game, loot the hell out of trash to find food
  • you can give every single person a bouquet before marriage
  • sunflower seeds will literally spew out at you when you run into/stand on a sunflower, like dozens upon dozens upon dozens
  • running to the train is hardly worth it unless you’re already near it
  • bring a battery pack to the tunnel
  • a cherry bomb will allow you to access the dwarf

and the big one, which made me feel super stupid,

  • holding down upgraded hoe/watering can gives it special powers in the form of multiple squares effected per move
10

From start to finish on my sculpture, “It Doesn’t Go Away”. I will post a more formal photo of the sculpture in its entirety soon.

The premise of this project was to find a contemporary artist to create a piece inspired by. I chose SF artist Jeremy Fish, and his Silly Pink Bunnies statue. I tried to imitate the overall shape of the piece, incorporating the pink tones into the white rabbit, and incorporating the skull as her body morphs into skeleton.

This shows the process from inspiration, concept, sculpting, multiple layers of under glazing, and then the final glaze. The final piece will incorporate a candle inside. Viewers can choose to let the candle burn out, or continually replace the flame inside her.

if you need some laughs

I’m gonna share links of some of the best, most hilarious tweets I’ve seen in regards to today’s drama

…so far… I’ll keep this post updated throughout the day

Vic//tri and dishes:
https://twitter.com/NICHOLASonICE/status/865254454240489472

and a reply to the above art: 
https://twitter.com/Tania_and_Bunny/status/865254727679954944 
(#stopdishcourse2017 this made me laugh so hard)

prolematic 0ta//yri:
https://twitter.com/NICHOLASonICE/status/865251677535821825

fandom prison:
https://twitter.com/howellonice/status/865258322324107269

getting taken off the safe list and put on the shitlist: 
https://twitter.com/TrishJaymes/status/865248621955997700


and some inspiration/kind words in light of today’s events

https://twitter.com/princessharumi_/status/865322429878599680

closed with eclairegrey

It had been a long enough drive out to Arizona to drop some of her sister’s things off; from clothes to trinkets left in Claire’s house, there was quite a few objects to look through. Their grandparents house that Tasha lived at was growing less homely and more cramped with cramps, knick knacks, and other various objects always laying about. To help try and empty the house a bit, the mintette climbed up into the attic to clear room for the things they wanted to save.

“Gosh…” She coughed and tugged her scarf up over her button nose, hoping to avoid a triggering asthma attack from the dust off of old chests and dressers. Nothing too impressive she hadn’t seen before, aside from…a random backpack tucked behind a large chair? “What’s this doing back here? Tash, is this yours?”

The backpack had clearly seen better days, with patches and heavy re - stitch work scattered over its cloth skin. It almost looked like one of that fake vintage hipster fashion, with its gross olive green complexion and rusty-lookin’ orange patches.

It was a creepy little fucker, very Tim Burton-esque, for it looked as though one of Snow White’s little rabbits had a run in with the undertaker. Yeah, that’s right, it was a deformed little rabbit backpack, where one would unzip it’s stomach to store their own contents. It was empty, mostly.. empty. And it had been that way for years and years and years. So much so that the rabbit had lost track of how many days it had spent in confinement.

Er right, the rabbit had a memory, and feelings, and apparently a rather shrill cry that it let out once the green - haired chick had picked him up. He screeched until she dropped him on the floor, where he landed with an “Oof.”

“You!” He yelled, swinging a paw at her, “What are you?!” He hadn’t felt such strong energy levels since..since.. well he had a face and a name, but not a year; it had been too long since then.

On a typical day he laid down and accepted his eternal fate, but this, this was interesting. He didn’t encounter a human like this every day. While they normally were beneath conversation to him, this was something he just had to explore.

The girl stared at him, eyes wide and hands frozen into the position of where she let him go. No, no, there was no time for this nonsense.

“Cat got your tongue eh?” He asked, sitting up fully. “Normal human after all perhaps? What are you doing here?”

It wasn’t much to admire, that was for sure. On one hand, it met a hipster aesthetic side of her that she loved. This backpack would be cute in her studio, but wouldn’t actually have much use other than for decoration. But it would seem that all it did here as well. That is,

Until it talked.

Dropping the backpack as quickly as she picked it up, the freckled girl backpedaled away before tripping over herself and falling to the dusty floor in a loud heap. It was…being sarcastic with her? Did she inhale too much cleaner?

“I…t-this is my grandparents…uh…home..” Claire rubbed the back of her head in confusion, staring at the object with intense honey eyes. “What..are you doing here?”
The rabbit slowly shook its head and stood up- yes- Stood. Up. And then proceeded to dust itself off with a frown, quickly seeing it was counter productive.

“I’ve been here since a little brown mouse picked me up at a shop awhile pack. Can’t say how long it was, I don’t have much of a sense of time these days,” he shrugged his little shoulders and sat back down and the pile of boxes he’d be dropped on.

“Small lil’ mousey girl ya know, thin and whatnot, ya know her? She put me here in this box Im standing on right after buying me and forgot about me. I’ve been listening to rattling cars, jazz music and old people coughing ever since.”

It, he, he jostled his head back and forth a little, shaking the dust from his ears before he continued speaking. “Ya know I asked you first to be fair, why are YOU here invading my box, my sanctuary?”
How was this thing alive and moving? Or, well… Moving, at least. It looked like he was in pretty rough shape. So Tasha bought this thing?

“My sister? Short red hair? Why did she just leave you cramped up here if you can talk and move and everything?” She was dumbfounded, but incredibly curious. Crawling closer, Claire lifted one of his tiny arms before grinning.

“I was just going through their things, trying to clean out some room and everything… But..Well, I mean I didn’t expect to find a tiny talking backpack up here!” A honey sweet laugh echoed through the attic while she combed through green locks.
“I don’t talk to just ANYONE you know,” he said smugly, as if it should be obvious. He pulled his arm away from her grasp. “You can probably tell from looking at me what I tend to go through when I communicate with humans.”

He moved away from his cardboard perch and closer to her form, half circling her with tiny steps.

“I thought you were a witch for a moment, but I see now that’s not the case based on your reaction. You just have the potential of one is all.”

He shook his head in disappointment and tsked, “My mistake really, you can just go on your merry way and-”

“Claire? Where you calling for me?” A voice asked from below the attic. The rabbit immediately retracted its steps from her and fell onto the floor, playing dead in a sort of way.

She knew she probably shouldn’t admit to it out loud, but the tiny bunny creature was adorable. If it were up to her, she’d just scoop him up and play with his cutr little ears. But it seemed he wasn’t so kind and cuddly.

“A witch? Oh, because of my funky hair, right?” Claire smiled and twirled a curl around her finger before smiling briefly. What was this thing talking about? Maybe it was just messing around with her. The potential to be a witch? What did that mean?

When she heard Tasha coming up the attic ladder however, the mintette spun around and shielded the form with her body. If he didn’t speak to Tasha for a reason, then she probably shouldn’t know about what just happened…“Oh! Hey, yeah I just, I wanted to know if you took out those boxes to my car yet. I’m almost done rearranging up here so we can clean up a bit.”
“Oh,” she paused, “Yeah.. I’m good to go whenever you are. Everything is all packed back up outside.”

The bunny continued to lay motionless on the floor, well practiced in hiding his unusual “qualities” from human beings. He wasn’t mindless though, and as he continued to ease drop on their conversation, his own thoughts starting to circulate.

“She’s unaware of her potential.. I wonder if I could find that useful,” he thought to himself, “Maybe she’ll take me with her, or else I can somehow stow away-”

He was interrupted as Claire nudged his body with the back of her heel back towards the mountain of boxes. The mousey one retreated back downstairs, and he eagerly waited for a response.

“Awesome. I’ll see you in a minute, squirt.” Claire leaned over and ruffled up Tasha’s short hair before turning around to finish arranging things for the most room in the storage area. This…thing was a backpack after all. It wouldn’t be so weird if she just slung it over her shoulder to bring him home right? After all, he had talked! Something that amazing couldn’t be left up here to rot away forever!

The woman didn’t waste time scooping him up and adjusting the straps on her freckled shoulders before glancing over to whisper. “I’m sure you know, but I wouldn’t go talking down there. I’m gonna get you out of this dusty attic at least.” Claire stated before clearing her throat and lifting one of the chests that had to be sold.

It didn’t take long to pack up her silver car. Everything fit fairly well in the trunk, with the exception of a few items in the back and front seats. Saying her goodbyes to her family, Claire grinned and hugged her sister before setting the bunny on her passenger side. Should..he be buckled? Nah, he is a backpack after all. This is fine.
The bunny remained a statue until the green haired girl pulled onto the main highway, ignoring her small glances towards him for a solid half hour.

“So.. I thought about just being silent and making you think you were crazy for awhile, but I’m too concerned for my own whereabouts to do that,” he said matter-of- factly.

He slowly turned his head to her. “Basically I just wanna know where we’re going and what your plans are for me in case I need to start thinking fast.” I mean, this definitely wouldn’t be the first time and a backpack couldn’t be too careful.

The entire time of the car ride consisted of her watching the backpack and the road frantically. If he was trying to trick her or mess with her, it was working. But as soon as he spoke up again, the mintette let out a huge sigh of relief.

“Oh thank goodness! I mean, I know you were talking, but I was worried I broke you or something! Are you ok? You don’t want to go back, do you?” It dawned on her that she never even asked the backpack if he wanted freedom; especially by the way he was talking now. But she couldn’t help but give a small laugh once again.

“Who just..takes backpacks? I mean, you’re a cute little bunny sack. Noones going to hurt you. I mean, my puppy might sniff you and check you out, but I was just going to go to my apartment until I figured out what to do.”

“Oh no, it’s no problem, ” he said with a wave of his- er, paw. “Until you pass me on to someone else, you are now my owner. That’s all. I don’t suppose you’re familiar with the typical bonding contract speech, especially if you’re just a normal human?”

Claire just blinked a few times. “Of course I’m just a normal human, is it seriously because of my hair that you think I’m a witch? No, I don’t..I’m not familiar with your binding thing or whatever…” She drummed her fingers along the wheel, biting at her bottom lip. Was this for real?

The knapsack barked a laugh at her. “Ahah, no, your hair is nothing out of the ordinary for me I assure you. If you don’t know what I experienced then there is no reason to explain it to you..” He stretched out his little limbs.

“However, I will explain my contract to you, as I am required to through it.” He stood up and began examining her vehicle, unaccustomed to this newer model. “As long as you keep me, I am yours to do as you please with. I can complete any task or attempt to complete any task for you.” The rabbit fiddled with the air conditioning, ooing with interest.

“You can also release and stuff me back into this form whenever you choose - what you didn’t think I was actually a ruck sack did you?” He asked, catching her bewildered expression. “I have a form that will look like yours in this world so- er I suppose that doesn’t make sense to you either does it.. been a while since I’ve done this.”

Although they made it back to Claire’s house safely, she couldn’t help but tap the breaks a tad too hard when he mentioned having a form like hers. Did he mean he could look human? Oh shit. The backpack bumped the dash a little too hard, and once in park Claire scooped him up apologizing rapidly.

“So…okay, uh..Im..I’m trying my best here. So…you’re just-just trapped? As a backpack?” She asked, slinging him over her shoulder again as she started to empty her car and carry things inside. A bouncing black little lab stumbled about and barked up at the two of them upon arrival.

The backpack remained quiet until it was certain that there was no one else around. “I will tell you what I mean in a safer location, though I’m sure you are a person who talks to themselves, too much of that will be a cause for concern.”

He remained limp on her person until she had carried the last of her stuff into the apartment. Immediately he jumped to the floor and began wandering around his new surroundings, certain of his safety.

“I’ve been stuck like this for roughly 460 human years,” he called out to her as he crawled around her kitchen, “I pissed off a witch that summoned me and she trapt me in this. I was passed on through her family until they died out, and I’ve been kind of all over the place ever since. Pawn shops, antique stores, yard sales, ya know.”

Jasper was more than excited to sniff at and smell the new toy before barking excitedly and running all around the wooden flooring. Claire on the other hand just sat on a chair and listened, nodding now and then to show she was still interested.

“So..what, you’re stuck like this forever? I thought you said you could change to help me out.”

“Well yeah, but only if you tell me to,” he said, tilting his head. The gesture vaguely looked like an eye roll, but with sewn button eyes it was hard to tell.

“You have to be kinda specific if you want me to do what you want in a certain way, and believe me I wouldn’t tell you that part of it wasn’t required of my curse.” The rabbit crawled across the kitchen counters eyeing the dog warily, er, what seemed like it at least with the lack of facial expression.

“I’m also required to tell you that my curse wears off of me, at least appearance-wise, once a month, but I am not required to say when.” He wheezed out a chuckle and made his way towards the toaster. “And as for that forever thing, I’m not required to tell you all the details of my cursing, so I’m choosing to keep that to myself.”

Claire chewed her lip for a moment, wondering just how specific she’d have to be in her demands. Despite having something or…well, someone, she figured, around her house, she wasn’t about to order someone around unnecesarily.

How long had it been since this creature had seen kitchen objects, if ever? He seemed pretty wary of her puppy too. And if she wasn’t just misinterpreting him the wrong way, it seemed like this tiny little backpack was just a salty little man.

“Well I could choose to stuff you in a closet now that you belong to me, but I’m not mean to put you back in something like that. You help me out when I need it, and I’ll do what I can to help you too. We can work together, or you can stay a tiny little accessory for as long as I want. I just…I mean, what do I call you? Do you have a name? Or should I call you Bunny Sack? Sacky? Sack Attack. I like that one.”

“Okay first of all fuck you and fuck that sack nonsense,” he deadpanned, “The name you will have to use for me to do your bidding is Agares. I’ve been called a lot of shit but that’s the one that you have to use if you want me to listen to you.”

He finally hoped down from the counter space to engage with the four - legged fur ball, deciding that it was safe.

“Second, if you think that I haven’t spent what to you would feel like is an eternity in a dark and cramped space, I have news for you,” he stated, “There is a lot worse you would have to do to me than that, and since you own me now there really isn’t much of a need for threats. I am however, supposed to advise you that I am dangerous, and that you need to be very clear in what you expect from me, for I will always try to find a loophole.” He grumbled at the end of that, something about ruining all of the fun.

He huffed as he shuffled over to her now, circling her. “Think of me as a genie of sorts, I can’t exactly grant wishes, but I am capable of more than any human is. And like a genie, you need to be very specific in your wishes.”

Claire scoffed lightly before gripping her kitchen counter with her fingernails. This little shit was interesting, but if he was going to disrespect her, there would have to be something done about it. She wasn’t usually one to order people about, but…if that’s why he was made, right?

“Agares?” She parroted his name, letting it be burned into her memory. It seemed getting him to actually cooperate with her would be an adventure all on its own, but she was ready. Maybe it would be best to start off with little tasks, just to see if he would listen to her in a semi-respectable way. Glancing around her apartment for something for him to to, Claire folded her arms under her breasts.

“I want you to fill Jasper’s bowl with water, please.”


The backpack turned towards the dog and then slowly around the room until he saw the object that she was referring too. He quietly tapped over to the dish and picked it up with his little arms, carrying it towards the sink. He then tossed the bowl up into the sink with a loud and echoing clang.

“Now,” he said with a grunt as he dragged himself back onto the counter, “Depending on how nice I’m feeling will depend on how I handle your request typically, that I don’t have to tell you, I just am because I’m feeling rather nice. And as such, I feel that I should inform you that I-” he cut himself off as he reached to sink, turning the bowl the right direction to fill it.

“Unless you allow me out of this form I will be unable to get this down without spilling it. Small arms ya see. And I really must recommend that you remember that I didn’t need to tell you that for future tasks.”

The whole ordeal of watching him struggle and shuffle about was…well, comical to say the least. To have him complete tasks in such a tiny form made her feel a little better about him being such a grump. But Agares was right: he didn’t have to tell her such information about releasing him from this form, and she was lucky to not have a shit ton of water on her floor.

“Yeah, I guess I have a lot to keep in mind. So..how does this work? I just..you’re free to be out of that form?” The mintette waved her hand in a small circle as if it would help, watching his nubby arms handle the dog bowl.

A loud popping sound exploded in the room and Claire looked on in horror as the knapsack suddenly imploded and twisted in on itself- er, himself, leaving nothing but a small black hole floating above her kitchen countertop.

The room felt colder, and she quickly realized that it was sacking the air right out of the room, as objects nearby it started to shudder and slide towards its small opening. No sooner had she noticed the movement that it stilled, and a hand was bursting through the small orb of darkness.

Slowly but surely another hand appeared, stretching the hole further while the figure pulled its form out of the abyss. A crop of mossy green hair appeared, followed by the head and full torso of a pale, unaturally toned, and scarred man. He shrugged briefly to pull himself out of the aybss, the center of it drifting back up one nude leg after he released his first one, before it centered over where his navel would be and glazed over like some sort of gem.
Through the entirety of the transition he had been hovering above her kitchen counter, and once the orb solidified the force keeping him up disappeared, and he plopped down with a thud, bare ass in the kitchen sink.
“Oof, Not used to that anymore,” he said with a thicker accent than before. Was it British? No, his words were too Americanized. He pushed himself out of the sink and refilled the water dish, his antics causing it to spill anyway. He calmly placed the dish on the floor and clicked his fingers for Jasper to come over to drink, smirking with satisfaction as he did just that.
Agares stood up straight and crossed his arm over his bare chest, the orb glinting from the light on kitchen ceiling. His amber eyes seem to cast the same amount of light as he grinned at Claire ’s gaping expression.

“Anything else while I’m at it?”

The sight before her was something straight out of a science fiction film. Before her very eyes was a force of space sucking her possessions towards it, and even her green hair lifted up and pulled towards the black hole. But it was done just like that too, and just like that as well, a naked man in her kitchen.

…a naked man. In her kitchen. Flushing bright pink, the freckled girl squeaked before raising her fingertips to gaping lips. It wasn’t the fact he was nude; she was a photographer after all. But the fact a body had materialized from a backpack…

“Wow! You..wow…just…” Claire didn’t get much further than that. She was admiring Agares with a curious glint in her eyes as she rounded him, still doing her best to avoid making the situation more awkward. “So this is the real you, huh? Tell me what you can do like this.”

He smiled mischievously, “There’s a lot that I can do like this, the longer I’m left alone in this form.”

He raised a clawed finger to her throat, “I could get rid of you, but that puts me right back where I started and I’d rather stick it out and see what you’re capable of.”

He turned his attention on Jasper and snapped his fingers, when nothing happened other than the dog cocking its head in confusion, the man grumbled and snapped again, this time causing the mut to slowly float off of the ground. Agares slowly moved the animal through the kitchen and gently placed the now whimpering creature on the sofa. “Ahahah,” he chuckled, “That’s also something that I can do!”

He raised his eyebrows and pinched two fingers together before gently pressing them into the gem at his navel, it gave away easily, almost like a pocket, and he pulled out a pair of black pants. “And this I suppose.”

Despite the obvious danger she was risking herself in, (and with a claw at her throat, no less) she had to break into a smile when he decided to let her be. Maybe they would be useful to one another? Who knew.
But one thing for sure; her dog shouldn’t be hovering. Scurrying past the nude man, Claire scooped her pup up before turning to see a pair of black pants conveniently covering his lower waist.

“You just..can pull stuff out of there? Well…I mean that’s pretty useful I guess. You uhm, you should get dressed. I mean, get dressed. Now. Please. Uh..” A bead of sweat trickled down her temple.

The man laughed loudly, throwing his head back while his stomach heaved. “As you wish,” he said, bending over to slide the pants on, one leg at a time. “That’s kind of why I pulled them out in the first place, I am familiar human customs, and I know platonic nudity isn’t typically one of them in this country.”

He snapped the elastic fabric on his hips, with it clinging to his prominent v-line. “To answer your earlier question,” he began “I AM mostly just a knapsack now, an enchanted one at that, and it would be rather useless for my owner to not have access to my contents in this form right?”

He frowned as he reached inside of the orb once more. “It seems that I do not have other clothing in me anymore, so I have to ask you how you’d like me to address that issue?”

With a huff, Claire brushed a strand of hair behind her ear before sparing a glance at him. For a…backpack man…he looked better than most guys she had seen in her life. But he only came with a single pair of pants?

“Oh..yeah, uh, here! Come with me. I have some of Alex’s clothes here. They’ll probably fit you..” She mumbled more to herself than Agares; turning once to make sure he had actually obeyed her. It seemed if she just put meaning behind what she asked, he would do it.

Grabbing a white T-shirt and a tan blazer, she handed them to him before looking for whatever else he may need. Shoes? Boxers? Hopefully her boyfriend wouldn’t be…too angry.

“Mm,” he hummed, sliding the t-shirt over his dorito - shaped torso. It was a little tight in the biceps and rose a little bit on his stomach revealing the blackish - green coarse hairs of his treasure trail.

“I am perfectly capable of stealing you know, if you would find that to be an easier alternative. This Alex, will probably notice that these are missing,” he offered with a raise of his brows. He could sense the girl’s apprehension as she dug about her home and figured he might as well try to make things a little more efficient.

Despite the shirt not quite fitting him right, it would have to be good enough for now. Besides, he pulled it off well. And with the jacket over it, it was fine.

Raising her hands up and waiving them hectically. “No! No, you are not to steal anything. You hear me? No stealing.” Her honey eyes wavered as she held a glance with him before tucking the other clothes away.

“Well…I could use help cleaning my house. I have a lot of stuff to do, and with a second pair of hands, it would go faster. Literally you can do anything around the house to clean up, okay?” Pulling her locks into a messy bun, Claire sashayed into the kitchen before scrubbing the countertops.

The man sighed dramatically and shook his hair out of his eyes. Boring tasks, as per usual. He sniffed out cleaning supplies and set to work, though, not in the most useful sense.

She had said that he could do anything, as long as it was cleaning. After testing his footing against the wall of the hallway for a few moments, he felt enough of his powers within himself to make his move.

With a drenched mop, he casually walked up the wall towards the ceiling, mopping the walls as he went, over photographs, posters, etc. His hair stood on end as his reached his destination, and his shirt only rode up more as he worked while periodically walling back down to rewet his mop. The demon sniggered to himself and daintily spun on his toes as he scrubbed the light fixtures.


Even though Claire was cleaning and working in her kitchen and dining room, she could hear shuffling around somewhere in her apartment. ‘As long as he’s helping, I suppose.’ But as the mintette walked into the next room and slipped onto her plump bottom, she ended up in a puddle staring up at the ceiling in confusion.

“What…Agares! What do you think you’re doing!?” She squeaked, shivering as water dripped down onto her features. Was this one of his loopholes…? To be fair, she wasn’t exactly specific…

Groaning and climbing to her feet, she peeled off her wet shirt before folding her arms. “Get off the ceiling and dry everything you just got wet.” Her honey eyes narrowed.

“But if I come down from the ceiling, I won’t be able to properly dry it you know,” he reasoned, chuckling dryly.

He hopped off of the ceiling down next to her, his feet along with the mop combining to create a large splatter over her. The demon poked his tongue out of his mouth, grinning, and he extended a clawed hands towards her as a gesture to help her up.

With her green locks now clinging to her face in dark curtains, Claire couldnt help but laugh a little bit. She wasn’t one to stay sour or angry, no matter any situation. So after taking his hand, she squeezed out her hair before smiling.

“Well, I guess I can help you dry everything off. Otherwise…” Her voice trailed off when she noticed a damp photograph of three young children. Quickly slipping it out of the frame to save it, she exhaled loudly before walking into her bedroom to tuck it away.

Paying the girl no mind, the demon produced a large cloth out of his belly button portal of doom and began soaking up the puddles on the floor with it. He pulled out three more similar cloths, somewhat like a clown would pull handkerchiefs out of his sleeve to continue collecting water as it dripped off of the ceiling.

After collecting herself, Claire came back out wearing a comfy pair of grey sweatpants and a black T-shirt, her wet hair up in a bun. She helped dry Jasper off with a towel, making his fur floof up before he ran around barking. “Well…now that even my ceiling is clean, I don’t know what to ask you to do..”

“If you wait long enough with me like this, I can just *make* your home clean for you,” he said with a shrug, “I’m no genie that you humans are fond of, but I am able to make some things take care of themselves. Magic and all that.”

He sat down on the floor and stretched his legs out, humming to himself. Despite it all, he found himself enjoying the ache of a stretch after being used to feeling so little sensation-wise. Being cramped in small places wasn’t really an issue for him, as he didn’t need to move around in the rabbit form to keep his body healthy. The demon hiked up his pants legs and began scratching at the multiple scars circling his limbs, finding it oddly satisfying. It felt good to be reminded that he was in fact a real being.

“What do you mean, make my home clean for me? You mean like beauty and the beast stuff? Or fantasia? Becuase I certainly don’t need living objects, and a-a..a flood would..” Claire hugged her freckled arms and stared off at the wall with a hollow expression before clearing her throat.

“I can clean my house by myself. It’s fine. Just…stay out of trouble and don’t break anything. Don’t touch any photo equipment. That’s an order.” She frowned slightly down at Agares before going to the door and slipped on a pair of boots. “I have to go get Alex from work, so…just..just behave.” With that, she closed the door and started up her bike outside before speeding off.

The demon huffed and crossed his own arms at her as she spoke. He rolled his eyes once she changed her gaze and began to ruffle through his hair to entertain himself. He decided she was being a bit too dramatic, but chose not to say anything to avoid further squabbling as she readied herself for her journey.

After a rather harsh shutting of the door, he jumped to his feet and began sniffing and stroking random objects throughout the apartment like a bloodhound. The more contact he made with these items, the more he could learn about who owned them and what kind of life experiences they had. It was the best way to learn about human reputations, or demons for that matter.

He was sure to stay away from the photography equipment, at least of what he knew was photography equipment. A lot had changed in modern technology since he was last outside. But after touching a light stand, his “data” updated and he managed to stay away from the rest of it.

He found a few more of Alex’s things and wrinkled his nose in disgust and he inhaled his scent. Visuals flashed before him that made his stomach sink, and he decided then and there that he didn’t like that one too much. As to what to do about it, he knew he’d have to wait until he could learn more about Claire’s current reputation and emotional wellbeing.

It wasn’t that he had a soft spot for certain humans, he found them interesting sure, but overall their lives didn’t matter much to him. There were exceptions of course, the worse of a person that someone was, the more he enjoyed damaging their reputation.

It wasn’t that she was worried about the state of her apartment and Agares-…No, that was exactly it. Especially if he caused trouble once Alex would get home. The brunette didn’t seem to even acknowledge Claire when she picked him up. He made her move to the back of her own bike so that he could drive home.

Once they got back, he started complaining about how his day went, about horrible customers and how sore he was. Without any consideration to what she was trying to warn him about, Alex shoved the door open and shot a look to kill a small animal at the demon in her living room.

“So that’s it? You’re cheating on me with another green haired hippie freak?”
……….

Agares smiled softly, an expression that completely changed his demeanor, as he quickly stood to greet the intruder, er, new human.

“Oh I’m so sorry, this is a misunderstanding,” the demon said apologetically, “I’m Auther Agares, a graduate student from Munich. My housing plans went awry once I’d arrived and-oh, no excuses from me, I bumped into Claire, quite literally, outside the Student Affairs office today after an unhelpful meeting, and ended up explaining my predicament to her.”
The demon paused and reached forward to grab the man’s hand, shaking it enthusiastically and yet timidly to give the impression of an uneven power dynamic.

“You must be Alex,” he said warmly, “Your kind and generous girlfriend has told me all about you. I hope it’s not too much of a bother, but since you have your own apartment and there is a spare room, Claire has offered to let me stay here until I’m able to find proper housing. I’m looking for side employment starting tomorrow so that I can help repay any costs that I can, as I have yet to begin my research at the university.”

The demon kept his glowing green eyes locked on Alex’s, while his expression read as passive, almost pitiful, Claire could see his underlying predatory nature. Something about his hypnotic eye contact was keeping Alex unaware, and the defensive man’s shoulders slowly started to slump and relax.

“I do hope to be out of here in just a few days if possible, and I truly apologize for any inconvenience that this may cause you as well as Claire,” the demon said, I’m willing to do whatever I can to be a considerate guest.”

3

OK BUT GUYS

GUYS

THIS KITCHEN? THIS ONE RIGHT HERE? THIS IS A BOMB-ASS KITCHEN

IT’S GOT AN ISLAND

IT’S GOT EITHER MARBLE OR GRANITE COUNTERTOPS - EITHER WAY IT’S SHINY

IT’S GOT GLASS FRONTED CABINETS - WHICH COOKS AND BAKERS ESPECIALLY LOVE

IT’S GOT NICE SPOT LIGHTING

IT’S GOT A DOPE LOOKING FRIDGE

IT’S GOT A TINY! BUNNY! STATUE!!!

THIS WAS A KITCHEN THAT WAS MADE FOR BITTY™️ GOD BLESS JACK ZIMMERMANN

stillhavespots  asked:

❤️

BUNNY. Sweet sweet Liene. Lemme just say that they are so amazing - just like Q himself but even more awesome! I enjoy our OOC talks, just coming up with the lil’ things that would establish how Eggs && Normie got together && the things that they would do to && for each other. Their entire relationship is just so adorable && too sweet. (to the point that I think i may develop cavities) 

Your portrayal of Q is just so fascinating ???? && Eggs can’t help but keep making hearteyes at his Quinn. && Eggs know that Q will always take care of him no matter what??? The amount of love && time you put into the characterisation of Q always amazes me && I really feel like I wouldn’t have this experience if I didn’t press that follow button.

                                              meme | ACCEPTING