anonymous asked:

Melly I'm going to set the scene and you're going to do some Zaynglish improv ok? Picture this, Zayn has discovered a secret serum that elevates his already incredible natural highlight/Strobe game by a 1000%. But he is understandingly concerned that this miracle product may have been tested on animals. Well clearly, not on his watch! He is now on the phone with the customer rep trying to get more info. and GO. Please and thanks

“Yiss hullo ah wuld lyke tuh speak tuh yoar Manageh. Dis is ahn impohrtehnt business matteh”

“Hello sir. I can tell by your voice that you have must have really good hair and probably a secret list of products you use to achieve that which you refuse to tell anyone about. How may I help you?”

“Dis serum luks guhd but ah wanted tuh check if dis wuz testid ahn animuhls fuhrst.  Here is dis videoh of meh spreyin’ a bunneh to shoah yew. Daht is NOHT okeh heah. Daht bunneh was fahke soh it wuz okeh. Ah still felt bahd doh.”

“Sir, we’re only on the phone here but I can tell your skincare is flawless today. I also maybe only understood 33% of that but I think you asked if this was tested on animals. It has not been.”

“Dis product is bunneh & caht sefe? Okeh, thank yew. “