No Longer Human was the one book that Dazai had to write, his final attempt to elucidate himself and his unhappiness. It is an attack on the habits and traditions of Japanese society, but above all it is a record of his alienation from society. Ōba Yōzō, the name Dazai again called himself, is constantly ‘performing’ for other people in the hopes of ingratiating himself and concealing his true nature. The book is not factual, and Dazai undoubtedly exaggerated his misfortunes, not in order to make the reader feel sympathy (in the manner of an ‘I novel’), but to make the hero seem even more contemptible. The reader may well be revolted when the narrator confesses, for example, that he cannot recall the name of the woman with whom he first attempted a love suicide. His insistence that he is unlike other human beings, and has even been disqualified as a human being, leads up to the declaration, made when he is confined in a mental hospital,’ I had now ceased utterly to be a human being.’ No doubt such reflections actually occurred to Dazai, but perhaps he was also influenced by such works as Dostoevsky’s Notes from Underground. If so, such borrowing not only enriched the work but enabled Dazai to give his portrait of a failed hero with a touch of universality.
— 

Donald Keene, Dawn to the West, page 1063

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At times I’m away for a while, out drinking, chasing women, or maybe on some uneventful outing. Regardless of where I’ve been or what I’ve been doing, the moment I get home I’m assailed with the same doubts and remorse. There’s no nagging mother, and no angry wife or children. My lifestyle is such that I don’t even exchange hellos with my neighbors. Still, the second I get home, I’m unable to escape that strange sadness and anxiety. I might stop off at a friend’s place on the way home, and I won’t feel the sadness and anxiety while I’m there. This prompts me to make my way home via the houses of four or even five friends. Still, once inside the front door, there it is again - sadness and anxiety. The act of ‘going home’ is an eerie one. If you don’t ‘go home,’ you avoid the sadness and regret. If you do, there is no escaping them, even if no mother, wife, or child awaits. Going home means you’ll be haunted by thoughts of what might have been. So, to escape these regrets and the sadness, all you really have to do is not go home. Just keep plowing ahead.
— 

Sakaguchi Ango, “A Personal View of Japanese Culture”

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Until now, rather than admire the much-vaunted patience of [the men I had read about in school books on moral training], I had always tended to despise it as concealing an arragonant sense of superiority; my sympathy had, in fact, been on the side of the so-called rogues, whose behavior was at least natural and unpretentious. But now unexpectedly I found myself in the role of Kimura, Kanzai, and Kanshin. All of a sudden I knew the sense of isolation which they too must have felt when being attacked. It occurred to me that these didactic stories should be classified not under the usual headings of ‘Forbearance’ or ‘Great Men and Little Men,’ but, rather, under ‘Loneliness.’ At the same time I perceived that forbearance really had very little to do with the matter. It was simply that these ‘great men’ were weaker than their assailants and knew that they would not stand a chance if it came to a fight.
— 

Dazai Osamu, “Courtesy Call” in Modern Japanese Stories: An Anthology

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Atsushi doesn’t understand why his cheeks get so heated up whenever Dazai-san calls out his name.

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Dazai notices how Atsushi-kun’s cheeks are dusted ever so faintly with pink everytime he calls his name. It’s a fascinating observation, he thinks, and keeps on calling him at random times of the day. Only to verify the consistency of his observation, he tells himself.

shroudthecursedone  asked:

If they played Among Us, Atsushi would be the best player as no one would believe him to be the imposter no matter how many times he is the imposter in the end meanwhile Dazai would be under constant suspicion for being the imposter to the point if getting voted off multiple times.

im stealing what my friend told me when i was the impostor “you’re not even good at lying you just SOUND innocent” and that’s atsushi

Belle Lettres
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MAGAZINE COVER

[ BSD!Money Laundering AU! x M!Reader ]

Chapter 2: Scandalous Collaboration

(Y/N) grinned to himself as he watched the prerecorded late night talk show that Ranpo was in. With Ranpo being able to debunk all the rumours going around, there shouldn’t be any problems left until a scandal should appear with one of their models. With that said, (YN) has to make an appointment with a photographer for Atsushi’s photo-shoot. He had already called a designer, makeup artist and the other crew members for the photo-shoot. Though he could call their usual photographer and see if they’re available, however, with them being booked by his other models, it would too much for the person. And (YN) needs that person by the day after tomorrow. 

(YN) sighed. This may be the day where the male is too tired to read over the reports he has to read, do paperwork and manage a model. Deciding to call one his agents, (YN) hopes they can help him find a photographer. Fishing out his phone, he dialed Oda’s number. The phone rang for a few times before Oda had picked up. “Do you need me for something, sir?” Oda asked. Guessing from the clicks of cameras and a few muffled voices from the other, Oda must be in a photoshoot. Presumably in one of Dazai’s photo-shoot. With how close the two males are, it wouldn’t be a shock if Oda is present in one of Dazai’s photo-shoot. In fact, it’s due to how Dazai is so clingy to the male that people had started rumours of the two them are dating. “You got Katai’s number, right? I need him for Atsushi’s photo-shoot,” asked (YN). Looking over the papers that had been sprawled over his table. “Katai? I do but he’s overseas. President Fukuzawa is letting him manage the deal between the Sodality.” (YN) pursed his lips as he groaned quietly. Calming himself down, “Do you know any freelance photographers out there? Our regulars are too busy,” he said whilst rubbing his temples with two of his fingers.

Oda was silent for a few seconds, “Well…I heard that Naomi has a friend who’s into photography and her photos are quite nice actually.” (YN) sighed in relief and was about to ask for her number before Oda added, “But I don’t think she has experience in taking pictures of people or in taking photos of models. Junichiro said that she prefers taking pictures of animals.” (YN) resisted his urge to slam his head on the table. Leaning back onto his very fancy office chair. Sighing, (YN) was quiet for a moment before he spoke, “Anyone else?” his nasal-like voice is clear that he was tired and is need for a break. “When is the photo-shoot?” Oda asked, “The day after tomorrow,” (YN) grumbled. “Then how about Ango? He’s a journalist friend of mine and Dazai’s and he’s quite good in taking photographs,” Oda said “He used to be in a photography major before he shifted in college.” (YN) glanced upwards, silently recalling where he had heard the name. The male gasped, “You mean Sakaguchi Ango? The so-called photography prodigy Sakuchi Ango?” (YN) heard Oda hummed in agreement from the other line, “Then call him if he’s available on that day and tell him that it’s a special offer!” After thanking Oda, (YN) sunk to his chair. A tiny weight finally off of his shoulders. Glancing over the towers of papers, he grimaced. Thinking he should get a secretary if there’s another meeting with his superiors.

As soon he was about to relax into his chair, a knock came from the door. Quietly groaning, (YN) sighed. “Come in!” he replied as he planted his elbow on the table as he rested his chin on the heel of his palm. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, director,” the employee said. Their voice full of fear as it trembled, avoiding (YN)’s gaze. “Let me guess… another scandal?” (YN) said in a nonchalant tone. And to his surprise, the employee nodded. Surprising the male a bit. Although he had guessed about a scandal but he didn’t expected one so soon. “Just as the last one had already calmed down a bit…” said (YN) in his thoughts. Rubbing his temples with two of his fingers. HIs lips pursing as he took a breath through his nose, “Another one? And what is it about this time that you actually have to go to me? Shouldn’t you go public relations team for that!?” (YN) accidentally shouted, already exhausted that he has to deal something so small. “They advised me to go to you…” answered the employee, their knees already becoming jelly as the conversation goes on. “How big is it that they advised you to go to me?” The employee shook in fear, afraid that they might lose their job because of this. Gulping down the lump in their throat, they took out their phone and showed (YN) a picture.

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(YN) can’t say that it was normal nor weird. Rather, he could say that it was alarming. His brows furrowed as his face scrunched up in confusion. He had told the models and other employees that pics from behind the scenes are not allowed to be leaked nor posted in social media. And guessing from the white background, it must’ve been taken somewhere else and by someone not from their agency. “Who told you to come to me?” asked (YN), his voice stern and alpha-like. The employee squeaked at the sound of it, “It was Ryuro-san.” (YN) hummed at the answer. Hirotsu used to be a model before he retired almost a decade ago and had decided to work for the public relations team in their company once they had established it almost two decades ago.

Staring at the picture a little bit further, (YN) could only wonder on how these two were unaware that this picture was taken. With these two being the most cautious on using their abilities, it’s a miracle this person was able to upload this picture. “Is this the source?” (YN) inquired. Wanting to know a bit more. “We’re not sure,” answered the employee “From what we gathered, this picture had been circulating around for a few months and this is the first time that it got blown up, sir.” Handing the phone back to its owner, (YN) leaned back to his chair. Resting his arms on the two arm rests that are on either side of the chair. “Tell Hirotsu-san to take it to Katai and have him search through the net a bit more.” The employee tilted their head to the side. Wondering on why should a photographer should deal with this. Nodding, they turned around to leave and as soon they opened the door, (YN) stopped them. “Oh and… don’t tell anyone about this, got it? If I hear a tiny whisper about this going around, you’re the first person that I’ll go to,” he threatened. The employee squeaked as they nodded their heads before they scurried off. (YN) clicked his tongue. Thinking on how these pictures were able to spread around with everyone’s knowledge?

———

Akutagawa is currently in a talk show along with Chuuya. His mind still replaying on what (YN) had said to them and his integration on how the picture was taken. Akutagawa isn’t sure himself and was quite surprised when (YN) had confronted them about it. After that, paparazzi and reporters had stalked him more than usual and had even attempted to enter the agency without any notice. Demanding that they want to talk to him. Akutagawa couldn’t help but sigh and shake his head in disappointment when he had heard of this occurrences. And to stop from anymore more rumours from spiraling around, he went on to a talk show. Along with Chuuya since his face quite visible in the picture as well. Even though it was only half of it, people still recognized him with no sweat.

“So… Akutagawa-san,” the host called and said male already knew what the host is going to ask. “What is it?” he answered, not trying to be seen as rude. “There’s a picture of you circulating around with a very weird-looking thing. Most fans had said that it was a monster that you kept in your basement.” The host couldn’t help but chuckle at this weird theory. Akutagawa also chuckled, dryly that is. Not finding the situation entertaining. Though he can’t get mad at the host since they don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. “That’s right! How’d the picture got taken anyway, Akutagawa?” Chuuya asked, throwing arms behind the couch. Slipping a small note behind Akutagawa behind him. The dark-haired male acted as if he’s arranging his sitting position as he grabbed the note, “I’m not quite sure but it doesn’t seem to be our set though,” said Akutagawa. Opening the note as he arranged his sleeves.

Lie your way out of this, assholes – (YN)”

Is what was written on it. Akutgawa’s expression deadpanned on this, glancing to Chuuya. The ginger male shrugged. “So what is it?” the host inquired, a bit excited to know what it is and probably the people in the crowd also. Akutagawa looped two fingers around his chin, “I think it’s  robot made my our director, (LN) (YN).” Chuuya’s breath hitched as soon he heard this. Although (YN) did indeed had a background of robotics, however, his experience isn’t enough to make a similar contraption to Rashoumon. Chuuya pursed his lips as he slowly glanced to Akutagawa. “Is that true, Chuuya-san?” the host asked. Trying to get more information about it. Chuuya whipped his head to the side, moving his gaze to the host. “Huh? Uh… yea…” he chuckled awkwardly “(LN)-san said that he worked on it for years so he brought it with him to the agency and had Akutagawa try it out for a test run.” Rubbing the backside of his neck, he forced a grin to his face. “Is that so? But didn’t Director (LN) had been modelling since he was a child?” The two males glanced at each other, already feeling the pressure of their lie.

“He… Director (LN) had, you know, tried to make it a secret and we were actually surprised that he had other hobbies!” Chuuya lied, sweat already covering his and Akutagawa’s bodies already. “Is that so? Did he possibly created other works?” The host’s eyes sparkled, interested in the topic. A few awes and gasps of astonishment were heard in the crowd. There were even a few whispers. Chuuya can’t help but chuckle.