Zelda’s Log #5.5: A (Not So) Noble Pursuit
A/N: This was one of the earliest ideas I had for this series. ‘The Perfect Drink’ Quest is really funny - I have a friend from College who is a lot like Pokki - and I enjoyed running around with an ice block on tow XD
Happy reading! (and drink responsibly!)
‘You want me to go with you to a bar and have a drink?’, Zelda couldn’t believe his words. ‘We’re underage’.
‘Not anymore!’, he enthusiastically answered. ‘What date is it today?’
‘It’s the second day of the eight moon’, she answered, still not having any idea of what he was planning.
‘When is my birthday, then?’, he playfully asked her. ‘You do remember, don’t you?’
‘Oh’, it dawned on her, slightly embarrassed for forgetting the date, ‘It’s tomorrow!’.
Link nodded with a veiled smile.
‘That’s why I’m going to the canteen after midnight to claim my rite of passage!’, he threw his arms in the air, victoriously, ‘And I’ll become a real man!’
‘Link, you are more than enough man’, she sighed, and kissed his cheek, ‘You don’t need drinks, or a beard to be a man’s man. You are sweet, gentle, and have a cute baby face; I like that’.
‘You think I’m cute?’, he blushed, eyes sparkling.
‘Yes, just don’t push it’.
They awaited for midnight to arrive wandering through the busy streets of Gerudo Town, crowded despite the late hour. As they turned in a corner, Link quickly stood in front of Zelda and unsheathed his scimitar, facing a figure dressed in a black cloak, face covered.
‘Why are you following us?’, he stepped closer to the suspicious individual, who raised their hands, and started chuckling.
‘How gallant of you, fake vai’, the person unveiled their face.
'Riju?!’, the Hylians asked in unison. She wore an orange veil to hide her identity, just like Link, and different, simpler jewelry than usual.
'I saw you two leaving your quarters quite sneakily’, she smirked, 'and I thought it would be fun to tag along’.
'Buliara will skin me alive if she catches us!’, Link gasped, terrified by the potential outcome.
‘She won't’, Riju calmed him down, patting his back, ‘I told her you would escort me to have some wholesome, fun evening’.
‘You’re devious’, Zelda stated, very serious. ‘And you’re coming with us. But only because I feel deeply your need of experiencing things for yourself’.
‘Does that mean I can have a drink?’, she asked with a bright smile.
‘Absolutely not, young lady’, Zelda objected.
‘Bummer’, she pouted. ‘You are worse than Buliara’.
Once in the bar, Link greeted the barwoman, who immediately recognized him.
‘You came for your first drink, I suppose’, Furosa started putting ice on a bucket immediately. ‘Have a seat with your girlfriends’.
‘Just Palm fruit juice for us, madam’, Zelda ordered with a nervous smile, ‘We’re still underage’.
‘Party pooper’, Riju’s lips muttered underneath the veil that covered her face. Zelda did not hear her, luckily.
‘Birthday Vai!’ - Furosa clapped to catch everyone’s attention - ‘Behold your first drink!’
The infamous Noble Pursuit consisted of nothing more than a whole Hydromelon emptied out to use as a glass, then filled with rum made with sugar cane from Tabantha, Hydromelon juice, frappé ice, cool Safflina, and a dash of concentrated Voltfruit juice.
‘It’s ridiculously big’, Zelda commented, incredulous at the size of the drink.
‘The noble pursuit is not to get immediately drunk with this!’, the bartender laughed loudly.
Link’s eyes were wide as saucers, still he immediately grabbed the ‘glass’ and started drinking, to Zelda’s bewilderment and Riju’s amazement - she started cheering at the Hylian’s feat.
‘Zelda! Use your Sheikah Slate to take a pic!’, Riju shook Zelda’s arm, ‘That is just epic!’
She swiftly snapped images of Link beating the giant drink.
The empty Hydromelon hit the bar, and the drinker raised his arms in victory. The ladies cheered his feat merrily, specially Pokki.
Link became really chatty, and told mostly stories of his journeys to Zelda and Riju - who got really enthusiastic about the prospect of joining them on one of their trips anytime soon.
But later he looked drowsy, and his speech was erratic and slow.
‘Are you alright, Link?’, Zelda asked, worried about him getting intoxicated.
‘Zelda, he’s just… drunk’, Riju noted, sipping the last of her Palm fruit juice.
‘I feel awesomeee!!!’, Link yelled in a slurred tone, obviously inebriated. ‘I could take down a Moldugaaa…. rite nowww!!!’
The crowd cheered, and Link dashed at an amazing speed to the nearest exit, to Zelda and Riju’s shock, who uselessly gave him chase after paying rushedly their beverages.
‘Let’s chase him with Patricia!’, Riju exclaimed, running as fast as possible with Zelda.
Both girls rode the seal, speeding through the sands, unable to find the runaway hero. Zelda used the scope to scan the horizon, and saw a small seafoam green figure floating in the night sky on a paraglider.
‘He is heading southeast, Riju!’, Zelda pointed at the horizon.
'Arbiter’s Grounds!’, she shouted, ‘Patricia, hurry dear!’
As they rushed towards Link’s location, they saw the bright blue flash of an explosion, then were almost blinded by a bolt of lightning, very familiar to the Princess.
‘Urbosa’s Fury!’, Zelda gasped, ‘He is fighting already!’
As they approached the place, they saw smoke, some chests, Molduga parts, and Link lying on the sand, panting.
‘I …gave that… sand turd… a whipping’, he rose his fist in the air, ‘but now I … don’t feel… so hawt’, he curled in pain. ‘Zelda, help meee…’
‘Goddesses, it’s because you are wasted’, Zelda patted his back, ‘Let’s go back’.
Zelda sent Link to the Daqo Chisay shrine with his slate, to avoid him the ordeal of walking drunk through the desert at night.
The girls found him there, sitting on the floor, almost falling asleep.
Zelda dragged him supporting his dead weight on her back, and the trio miraculously sneaked back to Riju’s quarters.
Link was tucked in his bed, clothes still on.
‘Zelda’, his voice was almost ghoulish, ‘You have saved me twice in one hundred and eighteen years. You’re my heroine.’- his eyelids were almost shutting - ‘I’ll love you forever’.
Zelda chuckled a little, Riju laughed with a snort.
‘I love you too’, Zelda stroked his hair, ‘Sweet dreams’.
A loud snore was his answer.
‘I think I shall reconsider drinking alcohol forever after seeing…’ - Riju circled with her index the bundle Link had turned into - ‘this’.
‘Good idea, Riju’.
The following morning, Link woke up as if nothing happened: no hangover, no headache; just hungry as usual.
And absolutely no recall of anything that happened after having the drink.
Zelda and Riju, both sleepy, slightly cranky and with dark undereye circles, took the time to refresh his memory.
‘I’m never drinking again…’, he affirmed. ‘…until next year! That was awesome!’
‘I should have sent you to the Shrine of Resurrection last night’, Zelda rubbed her temples in resignation.