bunch of aliens

Okay just a little bit more Langst, but let’s imagine that the crew doesn’t get their first clue that something is wrong with Lance by themselves.

Like what if their first sign comes from a bunch of aliens that they saved.

So, what I’m thinking is it starts off where they have just saved a planet from more Galra, you know run of the mill paladin day stuff. And they’re about to go meet the aliens they’ve protected with the whole diplomacy song and dance.

And this race is all about feeling emotions, which affects how they act around each individual paladin.

With Pidge, who is extremely curious about these guys, she is surrounded by a few of them who are actively excited to show off to her and field all of her questions. They can feel her most predominant emotion coming out of the battle was inquisitive.

Hunk, who came out of that battle pretty banged up, was surrounded by aliens who were trying to help and comfort him as he was feeling tired and uncomfortable.

Keith, who came out of the battle still a bit high on adrenaline, was surrounded by a few aliens trying to calm him down, because even though he doesn’t show it they can feel it and it’s giving them an alien equivalent of a whole body headache.

Shiro, who is talking with the one in charge of the race, sees all of this as the alien explains to him about their emotions adaptation, along side extra information from the two Alteans in the castle. Shiro finds these reactions all fairly typical.

Lance however, who would have been thought to be surrounded by a loud and lively group, is found in a group of aliens that don’t really match Shiro’s expectations.

Lance is found looking a little confused but still smiling as he is surrounded by aliens that can’t seem to stop hugging him and whispering softly with him. No one can hear what they’re saying.

Shiro finds this odd but doesn’t ask the alien in charge about it (again this is only their first hint, they have a long way to go) but he does question Lance later as to what the aliens were doing.

Lance tells him he doesn’t know, that the aliens must have just found him really cuddly, and the matter is dropped.

In truth, the reason the aliens flocked to him to give hugs and support was because they felt a deep emotional hurt radiating off of him that they wanted to soothe away as much as they could. But it felt like such a deep rooted emotion that they weren’t able to do much.

Turns out that this species can’t be fooled with masks like most. After all people still can’t really fool their own feelings.

Lance: Hey, have you guys noticed how every Galra we meet has the same like, head ridge thing? Like a mohawk except it’s their skull or exoskeleton or whatever

Hunk: I honestly hadn’t really noticed, but now I’m gonna spend the rest of my life looking for it, so thanks for that Lance

Lance: I’m just fighting the good fight my guy. But anyway, my point was- Keith, do you think you also have something like that?

Keith: No?? I mean, you’d be able to see it, right? If there was… (voice trailing off) nothing in…

Lance: (triumphantly) Exactly! Keith, your weird mullet is covering it up!

Keith: (nonchalantly begins to frantically pat top of head) I. What? No, no there’s no way. You guys are being ridiculous. (dodges Hunk’s hands) Stop touching my hair!

Pidge: There’s only one way to find out for certain. I’ll get the razor.

Keith, immediately: You are not shaving my h-

Lance: (stands on the couch in a victory pose) HASTA LA LATER, MULLET

Humans in spaaaaace

Had this thought last night as I lay falling asleep. We have all these space-exploration-ensemble shows with a bunch of aliens each of which has some sort of super-human power, more or less. And humans are always given ~leadership~ as their special power. The ability to bring people together, to organize shit, and I always thought, like…what a shitty power. What a shitty colonial “you were a mess until we came in and saved you” power. Drives me nuts. Seems like if an alien species builds a got-damn ship that can fly through got-damn space they probably have their shit together, right? At least somewhat?

So then I figure, what is humanity got to contribute to all these super-beings? We’re just nonsense reckless critters careening through space. Seems like we’d be more trouble than we’re worth.

But what if…I mean, what if that’s us. We’re the universe’s huckleberries. We’ll run headlong into danger, and we’ll *laugh*. And what if…what if we survive and a weirdly abnormally high rate. Like any alien with two bits of math can put together that we should have wiped ourselves out a long time ago with the first set of “hold my beer, and watch this.” So what the shit, how are we still banging around the universe building shit and flying off solar ramps into the sun while doing some spaceship equivalent of an ollie while crushing beer cans on our forehead. Why. Why do we exist.

And then it hits me. We survive. We’re super good at it. Uncannily good at it. So much so that we…I mean, we actually bend probability in our favor. It’s absurd. And it totally falls flat if you actually tell us this (“Never tell me the odds,” said Solo, knowing full well that knowing the odds kills a human’s chances of survival).

So there we are. Careening around the universe. Joining alien crews because they know that with a human on board, especially a cocky human in some kind of leadership position, can warp probability to stretch success in their favor. And they can never ever tell us this. So instead they just pat our heads and tell us we’re just so good at ~leadership~ and that’s what makes humans special

But really…we’re just a bunch of space dinguses.

3

So I had a really difficult time figuring out how to upload the images so you read the correct one first so sorry if this is wrong. This is just a cute interaction between Walter and Daniels in the novelization so spoilers about that if you wanted to read it. I also apologize about the shitty image quality I was using two phones; one for a flashlight and one for the pictures and I didn’t have enough hands.

If you guys need even more proof that Lena is whipped, take it from a business major who learns daily about the life of a CEO. 

CEOs of any company, but especially a large one like L-Corp are extremely busy. We (or at least I) assume that L-Corp most likely operates in the tech industry, maybe manufacturing too, but don’t know for sure. But the tech industry is highly competitive and fast paced. The time of a CEO is extremely valuable to a company. 

Lena is the type of person who takes her job seriously. She is dedicated to rebranding and repositioning L-Corp, separating it from the evil of Luthor Corp. Hence most of her time is going to be spent strategizing how to do that. She doesn’t focus on small details like hiring and firing of employees (unless it’s like C-suite levels executives or other high ranking people), budgeting, marketing strategies, financial plans, etc. She will most likely delegate that to the CMO, CFO, COO, etc. She’s going to be making business deals, hence all of her meetings, listening to business pitches from R&D as well as other executives, attending board meetings to learn about the state of the company, etc. I was in my business to business marketing class last night and my professor was basically like “The CEO of a company got where they are because they know how to manage their time effectively, they time slice. If you’re pitching an idea to your CEO, you’ll have 10-15 minutes max. Maybe an hour if you’re good. That’s it.” Lena’s time is extremely valuable. 

The fact that she takes time out of her day to meet with Kara on social visits, takes time out of her day (most likely at least an hour or two) to meet Kara at CatCo to go out to lunch at some new Kombucha place, randomly drops by Kara’s apartment and her place of work to ask for a favor that she could have either called or asked Jess to contact Kara for her, spends her evenings when she could be working on her company, trying to help Kara find a bunch of missing aliens and her own mother is a testament of how much she actually cares for Kara. Even in just a platonic sort of way. In fact, I think it’s much more compelling if it is platonic. 

Also consider that when Kara forgot about their lunch outing, she wasn’t angry or annoyed in the slightest that Kara forgot. She was completely understanding and even offered to help her friend. As a CEO, when your time is that valuable, it would be completely understandable if Lena was even the least bit frustrated that Kara forgot. But she wasn’t. And we all know that they probably just ended up rescheduling and causing Lena to rearrange at least a couple of meetings to spend time with Kara.

So in short, Lena is whipped as fuck. 

Class on BBC America

ok so if youre following me and haven’t watched class already, i wouldn’t blame you if you just looked away from the title lmao, i am quite forceful when it comes to this

ANYWAY, as most of you probably know already, the new series of doctor who premieres on bbc america tonight at 9/8c (if you’re in the small minority who doesn’t just download it illegally when it comes out in the uk), and that’s awesome!! but before you’re tempted to switch off your tv immediately and scream on social media - there is a new show starting straight after, and you should really watch it

class is a spin-off of doctor who set at coal hill school, with a torchwood-like premise in that there is a tear in space and time which attracts a bunch of aliens. the cast is HUGELY diverse - there’s a black girl who is super intelligent and skipped two school years, but is still vulnerable and cares deeply about her family (and calls out another character on his alien racist attitudes); a sikh boy who talks about his religion, and loses a leg in the first episode and has to get used to using a prosthetic, and a gay polish character who deals with homophobia, but that isn’t his entire character. the only two white males are in a gay relationship, and there are two interracial relationships as well.
THERE’S NOT A SINGLE STRAIGHT WHITE MALE IN THE MAIN CAST!!

also it’s not written by moffat if that helps - its written by YA author patrick ness who’s written stuff like a monster calls, more than this, the rest of us just live here, etc.

HOWEVER, at the moment, due to lack of advertising from the bbc, only being shown online and being given a shitty time slot when it actually was shown on bbc one, it is very low on viewing figures, and in danger of not being renewed for a second season. at the moment, the bbc haven’t made a decision, and it entirely depends on how well it does in america - so it’s crucial that you watch it!! even if you don’t want to actually watch the show, at least leave your tv on after dw, to boost the viewing figures. posting about in online, specifically twitter and instagram since those are the only ones the bbc care about, would also help a lot, and signing the petition for season two (that i can’t link right now as im on mobile)

(the characters i didn’t mention are brilliant as well - there’s a girl who seems like a typical hufflepuff at the start but then becomes probably the second most badass character in the show, gay alien prince who’s socially awkward and adorable but also super morally grey and pretty much a slave owner, and although he doesn’t think so he gets called out on it a lot, and an alien freedom-fighter physics teacher who has hilarious lines but also a really complex personality and backstory and gets a shit ton of character development. she’s my fave. i love her a lot.)

tl;dr: class is on bbc america tonight at 10/9c (after dw), its really good, watch it or it won’t get a second season and i’ll cry

-Kinetic Abilities Prompt List C Edition

Carbokinesis - Control Carbon

  • As someone who happened to buy a lot of coal, I end up with a lot of diamonds.
  • You know those carbon filters in fish tanks? I never have to change mine now. I just sort of wave the guck out? It’s an easy chore.
  • Don’t forget, there’s carbon in steel. If I take it out, this whole city’s going down.

Cardiokinesis - Control Hearts

  • I don’t know why you think this has to do with love. Hearts are organs that only pump blood. I mean, I guess if your heart beats faster, you feel like you’re in love.
  • I spent years in medical school specializing in heart surgery just so I could discretely fix people’s hearts much faster than they should be able to. But whenever anyone asks me what my secret to fast and perfect surgery is, I have to lie and it’s eating me inside.
  • I can see everyone’s relationships, but sometimes it gets really distracting. All these fibrous lines keep obscuring the cinema screen.

Caelestikinesis - Control Celestial Bodies

  • Is it weird I can tell you’re an aries? I’m getting that you’re an aries. 
  • Okay, so making the night sky spell out “will you marry me?” was awesome but I think I ruined a bunch of aliens’ homes. I really hope they don’t know I did that.
  • Being a god of the stars is generally really boring. Nothing’s ever been happening. But this little planet seems to be starting something… Better get closer to watch.

Caelumkinesis - Control the Sky

  • I can hide as anything that flies. So if you happen to see a bird in my room, don’t chase it out with a broom. 
  • If you’re going to be like that, I can make sure you always get rained on.
  • The world is so boring. I finally found out how to make dragons and I’m gonna take the initiative and just making this happen.

Chemokinesis - Control Chemical Substances

  • If it’s on the periodic table, I can mess with it. People generally aren’t ready for their oxygen to become iron.
  • The hero can’t come and vanquish me if I’ve given them depression.
  • Now that I’ve trapped you in my moat… It’s acid.

Chromokinesis - Control Colors

  • A magician’s biggest trick: Turning the entire performance center blue.
  • I have a grudge against someone who somehow muscled their way into my personal art show. I’ll makes sure they never see color ever again.
  • So I can fly… But it’s very… Flashy. Yeah, it’s a rainbow.

Chronokinesis - Control Time

  • So, even if I manipulate time, I can’t manipulate space. And Earth moves, so… I kind of killed most of the population. They’re either in space or the mantle. 
  • I’ve been stealing time from everyone and it’s all stored deep underground.
  • I’ve tricked a constuction crew through a time-portal and now they’re building me a castle in 16th century France. I’ll be king and my castle will never fall.

Cibumkinesis - Control Food

  • You don’t even know how much pretentious people like to eat my ‘innovative’ foodstuffs. Milk jerky is as weird as it sounds and only comes in 2%
  • I’ll win every cooking competition, no matter how much I mess up. 
  • May your harvest be blighted and your water poisoned. Think twice before crossing me again.

Cthonikinesis - Control Nether

  • Powers adapt to new meanings for the word. I’m gonna send you to minecraft hell.
  • Your nether regions are so fucked.
  • How do you feel, facing your own late father in battle?

Cukinesis - Control Copper

  • When NYC falls into peril again, someone with the ability to manipulate copper calls upon the ultimate defense… The statue of liberty.
  • Yeah I can make a shield, but it’s gonna be copper. Sorry I can’t do anything else. 
  • I’ve gotten into the habit of driving by old neighborhoods and making all the copper wiring and pipes be sucked into my truck. It’s only slightly villainous. 

Cogitokinesis - Control Thought

  • If you’re going to be so angry about my favorite song, enjoy it in your head forever.
  • I make quite the racket erasing unwanted thoughts. Where those thoughts go though is only for me to worry about. 
  • My robots seem too mechanical. I should steal someone’s thoughts to give them a bit of personality. 

Cognikinesis - Control Perspectives

  • Most of the time I just force video games to let me play first person, I’m not sure what you expected.Forcing people to look at what they’ve become is a lot like judgement day.
  • When people make me upset, I like to make them see my actual point of view. 
  • It doesn’t matter how far away something is, if I can see it, I can touch it.

Comakinesis - Control Hair

  • My stage production of rapunzel is the best in the world. How I found a continuous 20 foot braid is anyone’s best guess. I’ll never tell.
  • I’ve created a new breed of naturally pink poodles. I’ll be in the lap of luxury for all my days.
  • No I only have one of these wool sweaters. I can just change it’s color because it’s technically hair.

Combokinesis - Control Combat

  • Any battle goes may way, from a simple argument to an election. I’ve become the most influential person in the world.
  • My personal feelings are always above any actual evidence of winning, so seeing that I may be wrong is terrifying. What if I was wrong before?
  • Now that you’ve shown me what your attack will be, let me eliminate that possibility.

Coronakinesis - Control Corona Energy

  • Yes, it’s basically like that one godzilla. No, I’m not secretly the kid of godzilla. 
  • You think you’ve seen global warming? You’ve seen nothing yet. 
  • Stars tend to move with their corona, so don’t mind the new stars. They were already there before.

Corrokinesis - Control the Power of Corruption

  • I really don’t like corruption, so I keep combing the internet for instances of corruption to take it out, hitman style.
  • I’ve condensed corruption into these special bullets. I want you to shoot all this list, no matter how nice you think they are.
  • Wait, I can basically make this into a hell-dimension? Awesome. Sin for everyone.

Cryokinesis - Control Ice

  • If you keep annoying me all the liquid in your body is gonna freeze.
  • I’ve got the polar ice caps fixed, Antartica is looking good, and I’ve got enough snow cones today’s day at the park. 
  • You’ve gotta believe me, officer! The icicle just plain fell on them! It skewered them!

Crystallokinesis - Control Minerals and Crystals

  • My modern witchcraft store is stocked full with crystals and stones. And it’s all homemade.
  • If I really tried, I could get my crystal healing techniques to go towards a doctorate.
  • You picked the wrong mineshaft to battle me in. You’be basically given me the battle. 

Cytokinesis - Control Cells of Organisms

  • My friend wanted to be a cryptid so we brainstormed for a while and they decided on their form. We still chat when I’m in town.
  • Even if I’m terminal, I can just fix it. I don’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to fix you too.
  • Changing what shape my cells take is the ultimate camouflage. No one suspects the dog.

kingtwelvesixteen  asked:

Human's facial expressions are hard to read. Not because aliens are bad at it or something, it's just that humans show their teeth both as a threat display AND to show their happiness and it throws a bunch of aliens off and makes us seem weird and unpredictable. Aliens experienced with human body-language don't find any issue with it though.

Alien 1: BUT THEY LACK TAILS, how can you even understand them without tails? Can we just come back when a different species has evolved more sensibly?

Alien 2: I keep telling you, they use other things. Just because you’re too lazy to pay attention—

Alien 1: But it’s weeeiiiird

anonymous asked:

Do you think the paladins celebrated holidays on the ship?

Yes!!! I do!!!

  • I think that one of them probably brought up holidays or birthdays at one point and everyone’s just like :/ because who the hell knows how much time has passed.
  • So Coran (who can probably sympathize, what with having lost his entire culture and all) works with Pidge and Hunk to figure out what time it is back on Earth. And a year has passed so they’re just like, well I guess we should throw everyone a collective birthday party.
  • So they do and everyone gets in on it, buying each other gifts and stuff at your local Space Mall™ and Allura sets aside a day for everyone to take a break because, hell if they don’t need one.
    • Coran and Hunk bake the ultimate birthday ‘cake’ which isn’t as much a cake as it is a bunch of alien ingredients cooked to resemble a cake. Hunk still manages to make it taste good because he’s the galaxy’s #1 chef.
    • They spend the whole day talking about their birthdays back on earth and stuff.
      • “I can’t believe Shiro’s six.”
      • They offer to throw Keith like 10 more parties once he reveals that he didn’t really have any until he met Shiro and became his honorary brother.
      • Lance almost cries when he’s talking about his family and everyone gathers him into a collective group hug.
    • Allura and Coran are #confused.
      • “Why would humans celebrate their birthday every year? That seems like an awful lot of trouble to celebrate a person’s life that often.” “…” “How long you you think people live?” “Hold on, how long do Alteans live?!”
  • After that, they keep track of Earth’s calendar and proceed to celebrate big holidays.
  • On Halloween…
    • Lance is just, “Exactly how mad at me do you think Allura would be if I went and knocked on everyone’s door on this next planet and asked for food.”
      • Needless to say, the others keep an eye on him the whole day.
    • They do end up finding a bunch of the alien equivalent of sweets but Shiro steals half of them because Halloween is his thing and he has a serious sweet tooth.
      • The others devise a plan to take them back but Pidge gets away with the loot and hides it and the candy is never to be found again. (It’s in the vents).
  • Christmas…
    • Of course they buy each other gifts cause why not. It’s adorable.
      • Both Keith and Lance buy each other two gifts. One is really thoughtful and sweet and the other is a cheap gift that they give while everyone’s exchanging gives. They give the meaningful ones to each other secretly because they don’t want the others to tease them.
    • Mistletoe.
      • Allura has no idea what it is and Shiro is flustered.
      • Everyone conspires to get Keith and Lance under the mistletoe but it doesn’t work and everyone’s disappointed until Keith lets it slip that Lance already pulled that trick on him when they were walking to breakfast.
  • New Years…
    • They all sit down together in the control room and Pidge and Hunk hook up a timer and they all watch it count down. When it hits zero there’s this moment of silence because as much as they’re glad that Earth has survived another year, they want more than anything to be there.
  • And because I can’t let anything end on a sad note, Allura and Coran show the Paladins a bunch of holidays that Altea celebrated. It’s such a bittersweet thing but it’s so amazing to see these memories coming to life before them. Even if the lovely elegance and extravagance of an Altean celebration dissolves into lighthearted fun and laughter, it reminds them that they have a new family. And as strange as it might be, it’s a wonderful thing to be a part of.
Space Australia

So what if aliens never developed science fiction (or any fiction, for that matter) and we’re completely flabbergasted when these humans, who until just recently, didn’t have any form of space travel, were suddenly employing advanced null-gravity combat tactics?

Alien: “Humans! Stay back, you aren’t trained enough to fight in this situation!”

Human: “Screw that, man! We got all the training we need. Remember guys, the enemy’s gate is?”

All humans: “DOWN!!”

I think it would be hilarious to see a bunch of aliens so confused on how they won that fight when by all logic the humans should not have known advanced maneuvers like that

Alien: “how did humanity learn such complex tactics when you never learned how to control gravity?”

Human: “idk man i just read Enders game”

Guys I just realized something terrible. We all know that Pidge is searching for her brother and father. We also know that when Shiro hurt Matt it was to protect him so he could be sent with his father. If Matt is going to be in season 3 then there is a good chance that he is either with his father or looking for him. And if the screenshot of him and Shiro is real, he found Shiro. Matt only knows about his team from the Kerberos mission being in space. He has no clue that his little sister is in space, piloting a giant alien lion, risking her life looking for him and her father. He doesn’t know that she’s been looking for them the entire time! But Shiro knows. Shiro knows that Pidge is looking for them. If that screenshot is real, how will Matt feel knowing his little sister, Katie Holt, is out in space, now with a new name and a new identity entirely, risking her life for him? And can you imagine how he would react to finding out how she got here?

“You brought my little sister into space? You got out, you got saved from this whole mess, you went aLL THE WAY BACK TO EARTH JUST TO DRAG MY 14 YEAR OLD SISTER INTO THE HANDS OF A BUNCH OF PLANET ENSLAVING ALIENS WHO ARE TRYING TRYING TO KILL US?!?”

drippingpen  asked:

Headcanons for Keith and pidge friendship <333 pleeaassee

Always!!! I love these two partners in crime and technically-not-illegal mischief.

  • Obviously they both love aliens and cryptids and they can’t wait to get back to Earth so that they can show each other all of their conspiracy notebooks and boards.
    • Pidge has a whole collection of notebooks dedicated to finding her brother but she doesn’t mention that.
  • They both love really terrible horror/alien movies, like they thrive off of that stuff. It’s their lifeblood. When they do get back they marathon all of the ones they can think of and they’re holed up in the room for a week straight.
    • Lance is #done. “None of you touch me until you take like three baths you guys are so dirty why would you do this to me.”
      • Keith hugs him immediately and Lance screams.
      • Pidge sleeps in his bed for like an hour but she doesn’t tell him and when he comes to her screaming about germs and personal space later that night she’s stunned, like, holy shit it’s the princess and the pea all over again.
        • She calls him a prince for the next week and Lance knows she’s making fun of him but he doesn’t know why.
  • One time they go on a mission together and Allura has to rescue them from the space cops. She has to do a lot of talking to get them out and even then the cops insist.
    • “We could take them off of your hands.” “No, you don’t understand, they are our hands.”
    • They never go on a mission together again because Allura is livid.
  • They both like black licorice even though everyone else threatens to disown them.
  • Every once in a while they get so excited that they’re meeting a bunch of aliens all the time and living their dreams.
    • Keith’s just, “And they told me I couldn’t become an alien when I grew up.”
  • When they arrive back to earth they hijack the castle’s speakers and scream “Fuck the Garrison” repeatedly until Shiro and Allura find them.
  • They are both gay and trans and they bond over this and talk about how nice it is up in space where no one gives a fuck who you love or what you call yourself.
  • They are such good friends and they always make plans to hang out when they’re living back on Earth.

cancerousopaline  asked:

Shiro for your headcanon party!

His arm doesn’t actually connect to the nerves in his organic shoulder/stump- rather, it connects wirelessly to a short-range implant in his head. This is how Pidge “hacked” his arm in that comic- she just briefly interrupted the connection. Also, due to the nature of its internal mechanisms, if it’s deactivated, it locks in place rather than going limp.

Shiro lives alone in an apartment, though he does have a small dog. Said dog is currently staying with a friend, albeit for… longer than expected. If that thought made you cry just imagine Shiro coming back from space and getting mobbed by the dog who is absolutely beside itself to see him.

Also on that topic: Shiro “…I have a confession to make. With all apologies to the Black Lion… I’m really more of a dog person.”

He’s Japanese-American and learned Japanese and English at about the same time so neither is really his first language.

His mom is a tiny (like 5′2″ at best when she’s wearing her good heels) lady who is also very sweet and they stayed in touch a lot, especially since Shiro’s father passed away a few years back so it’s just her and Ryou, and Ryou is currently going to art college.

The other paladins are all cadets, one of them is fourteen, and Coran and Allura are alien nobles and with the former Shiro’s history as an instructor tints a bit of how he sees them, and with the latter he’s determined to put a good foot forwards for all of humanity. In short there’s a reason Shiro is a little stiff and formal with the team sometimes. 

For the record, what I’m getting at is: Shiro during his missing year had a spectacular potty mouth and he lives in fear that one of these days the rest of the team is going to catch him telling someone to fuck off in eighteen alien dialects (prison is a good place for sharing and he did pick up “quiznak” right fast)

Other notes on this: When Shiro was thirteen he was the kind of kid who would apologize to his mom whether or not she was in the room if he said “heck”. He loosened up as he got older but even then between his job and general attitude he has still, historically, been pretty clean-spoken. His missing year was kind of a unique situation where a fairly sizable group of people earned his undying enmity and scorn and he was limited in his ability to respond more productively so, expletives happened. 

And now he’s trying to cram back into his polite persona because yes, a small part of him does in fact view the paladins as Impressionable Youths Under His Care but especially if he is stressed or frustrated that control… wavers. The guy who taught a whole bunch of aliens English swear words in space jail lurks, beneath the surface.

Bonus points: one time during a mission Shiro lets slip an “Oh, fuck,” and the entire team loses it, mostly Lance and Hunk and Shiro is totally waiting for Keith to cut in with the ‘guys, let’s focus here’ but instead he gives Shiro a lopsided grin, motions at Pidge, and says “Shiro, there are children present,” and Shiro is just like. on the one hand I’m so proud of you for being sociable but on the other. this is fraternal betrayal.

Shiro doesn’t live that down for the next week.

Humans are Space Orcs

Alright so I fell down the hole of “humans are weird” and I wanted to throw in some of my own thoughts. I’m sorry if anything has already been done before, but I’m pretty sure it hasn’t yet.

Anyways I’ve seen all this stuff about humans and their bonding with pets, but what about objects. People bond with objects all the time, and we name things. Just imagine how confused aliens would be about this. Humans just saying things like “ain’t she a beaut” and “she’s got a real kick when you activate the hyper drive.” All these aliens would be thinking that the humans are saying that their is a gender to inanimate objects.

Then imagine them seeing us with things like a favorite t-shirt or blanket. Wondering why humans all are fighting about who’s blanket is who’s. What about aliens accidentally throwing away a piece of old paper work away, and some human freaking out. The human just starts yelling saying “that paper had a list of great movie ideas on it! Why would you throw it away?” And the aliens all start thinking that any piece of paper is important if there is extra human writing on it. Then they see a human throwing away a paper with all kinds of writing on it, and get all confused. They ask the human why this paper was not as important as the others, and the human was just like “It’s just old paper work with a bunch of doodles.” The aliens all start just leaving any leftover human paperwork alone altogether now.

Feel free to add to this!

What if the only weord thing about humans is how we expect aliens to see us. Like a bunch of aliens come down and read all these “humans are space orcs” posts and theyre all like “why r ur sspecies self isert all Mary suesy humans jeez ur not that cool, I mean look at Xshfdhsjif over there he spits acid that can melt thought dimond”