Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger
Everyone’s life is hard. This seems obvious but for a long, long time I thought I was the only one. I thought the other girls in high school were losing their virginity on the the 50 yard line to the quarterback. I lost my virginity while I was blacked out, there was nothing special or romantic about it. I had to convince my best friend “I don’t think it was rape.” I am bad with money. I’m always late for work. I thought I was such a depress-case until one night I was freaking out to my likes-to-be-perfect mom and she told me that she struggles with a lot of the same things. I had no idea. None. So, if it helps a little bit, everyone’s life is a mess in private.
People who seem normal do awful things. It seemed like those awful stories you read about in Cosmo were perpetrated by nasty frat looking guys who normal girls like me would see a mile away. Not true. The guy who is close to his family has cheated on every girlfriend he’s had and got engaged to make himself feel better about turning 30. He cheats on his fiance in a button up at a social services job. He’s your boy next door.
It’s really hard to be a good person. In order to be a good person, you have to do good things like, almost all the time. This means that when the guy you think is kind of gross hits on you at a bar you don’t scrunch your face up and say “ew” and then tweet about it to try to make the guy you really like jealous. This seems like harmless behavoir, but it will eat your soul away.
All success isn’t the same success. Sometimes I feel really good about myself because a thing I write on Tumblr gets a lot of notes or I have a successful interaction with a boy I like or I have a one night stand with someone really sexy and fun that I don’t feel guilty about later. I spend the day with a manic smile on my face but then sometimes I realize that actually that doesn’t mean anything, and usually those successes come at the expense of success that matters, like slaving away at my dead-end job all day. You just got your X-thousandth Tumblr follower, congratulations, please come into my office to discuss your failures.
When I asked the other lolz doll what she wished she knew when she was younger she replied “I don’t know… I’m not even going to try.” So, you’re not alone Tumblr.