bump life

I'm so much happier ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š now that I'm dead๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ’€. Technically ๐Ÿค”missing๐Ÿ•ต. Soon to be presumed dead๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ’€. Gone๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป. And my lazy ๐Ÿ’ค lying ๐Ÿ˜ˆ shitting ๐Ÿ’ฉ oblivious ๐Ÿ™„husband ๐Ÿ’‘ will go to prison ๐Ÿš“ for my murder ๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช. Nick Dunne took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money๐Ÿ’ฐ. He took and took from me until I no longer existed. That's murder๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช. Let the punishment fit the crime. To fake a convincing murder ๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช you have to have discipline๐Ÿ’ช. You befriend a local idiot๐Ÿ’. Harvest the details ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ“ of her hundrum life and cram her with stories ๐Ÿ“š about your husband's ๐Ÿ’‘ violent temper ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก. Secretly create some money ๐Ÿ’ฐ troubles: credit cards ๐Ÿ’ณ, perhaps online gambling๐Ÿ’ป♠๏ธ♣๏ธ♥๏ธ♦๏ธ. With the help of the unwitting๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป, bump upโฌ†๏ธโฌ†๏ธ your life insurance๐Ÿ’ต. Purchase getaway car๐Ÿš˜. Craigslist. Generic. Cheap. Pay cash๐Ÿ’ต. You need to package ๐ŸŽ yourself so that people will truly mourn ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ your loss. And America ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ loves ♥๏ธ pregnant ๐Ÿ‘ถwomen ๐Ÿšบ. As if it's so hard to spread your legs. You know what's hard? Faking a pregnancy ๐Ÿ‘ถ. First, drain your toilet๐Ÿšฝ. Invite pregnant ๐Ÿ‘ถ idiot ๐Ÿ’ into your home ๐Ÿ  and ply her with lemonade ๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿ‹. Steal ๐Ÿค— pregnant ๐Ÿ‘ถ idiot's ๐Ÿ’ urine ๐Ÿšฝ. Voilà! ๐ŸŽ‰ A pregnany is now part of your legal medical record ๐Ÿ—ƒ. Happy Aniversary๐Ÿ’‘๐ŸŽ‰. Wait for your clueless โ” husband ๐Ÿ’‘ to start his day ๐Ÿ“†. Off he goes... ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป and the clock is ticking โฑ. Meticulously stage ๐ŸŽญ your crime scene ๐Ÿ•ต with just enough mistakes to raise the specter of doubt ๐Ÿค”. You need to bleed ๐Ÿ’‰. A lot๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰. A lot, a lot๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰. The head wound ๐Ÿค• kind of bleed ๐Ÿ’‰. A crime scene ๐Ÿ•ต kind of bleed ๐Ÿ’‰. You need to clean; poorly๐Ÿ‘Ž, like he ๐Ÿ’‘ would. Clean and bleed ๐Ÿ’‰, bleed ๐Ÿ’‰ and clean. And leave a Little something behind: a fire ๐Ÿ”ฅin July๐Ÿ“†? And because you're you๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผ, you don't ๐Ÿšซ stop there. You need a diary ๐Ÿ“’. Minimum three hundred 3๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ entries ๐Ÿ“ on the Nick and Amy ๐Ÿ’‘ story ๐Ÿ’ญ. Start with the fairy-tale early days: those are true, and they're crucial. You want Nick and Amy to be likable๐Ÿ’–. After that, you invent. The spending๐Ÿ’ธ, the abuse๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ฅ, the fear๐Ÿ˜ฑ, the threat of violence๐Ÿ”ช. And Nick thought he was the writer๐Ÿ“... burn it๐Ÿ”ฅ, just the right amount. Make sure the cops ๐Ÿ‘ฎ will find it ๐Ÿ•ต. Finally, honor tradition with a very special treasure ๐Ÿ’Ž hunt. And if I get everything right โžก๏ธ, the world ๐ŸŒŽ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒ will hate ๐Ÿ˜ก Nick for killing ๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช his beautiful ๐Ÿ˜‡, pregnant ๐Ÿ‘ถ wife ๐Ÿ’‘. And after all the outrage ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก, when I'm ready, I'll go out on the water ๐ŸŒŠ with a handful โœ‹๐Ÿป of pills ๐Ÿ’Š๐Ÿ’Š๐Ÿ’Š and a pocket full of stones. And when they find my body ๐Ÿ’†๐Ÿผ, they'll know: Nick Dunne ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป dumped his beloved ๐Ÿ’‘ like garbage ๐Ÿšฎ, and she floated past all the other abused, unwanted, inconvenient women ๐Ÿšบ๐Ÿšบ๐Ÿšบ. Then Nick ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป will die ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ’€ too. Nick ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป and Amy ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผ will be gone ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป, but then we never really existed. Nick ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป loved a girl ๐Ÿšบ I was pretending to be. "Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ". Men ๐Ÿšน always use that, don't they? As their defining compliment: "She's a cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ". Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ is hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ. Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ is game ๐ŸŽฒ๐ŸŽฎ. Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ is fun ๐ŸŽ‰. Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ never ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ gets angry ๐Ÿ˜ก at her man ๐Ÿšน. She only smiles โ˜บ๏ธ in a chagrined, loving ๐Ÿ’• manner. And then presents her mouth ๐Ÿ‘„ for fucking ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ. She likes ๐Ÿ‘ what he likes ๐Ÿ‘, so evidently he's a vinyl hipster ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘“ who loves โค๏ธ fetish Manga ๐Ÿ“š. If he likes girls gone wild ๐Ÿ‘™, she's a mall ๐Ÿ› babe who talks football ๐Ÿˆ and endures buffalo wings ๐Ÿ— at Hooters ๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿˆ. When I met Nick Dunne ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป I knew he wanted "Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ". And for him, I'll admit: I was willing to try. I wax๐Ÿ•ฏ-stripped my pussy ๐Ÿ˜ฝ raw. I drank canned beer ๐Ÿบ watching Adam Sandler ๐Ÿ’ฉ movies ๐Ÿ“ผ. I ate cold โ„๏ธ pizza ๐Ÿ• and remained a size ๐Ÿ‘— two 2๏ธโƒฃ. I blew him ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘„, semi-regularly. I lived in the moment. I was fucking game ๐ŸŽฒ๐ŸŽฎ. I can't say I didn't enjoy some of it. Nick ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป teased out in me things I didn't know existed. A lightness โ˜€๏ธ, a humor๐Ÿ˜‚, an ease. But I made him smarter ๐Ÿค“. Sharper. I inspired him to rise โฌ†๏ธ to my level. I forged the man ๐Ÿšน of my dreams ๐Ÿ’ญ. We were happy ๐Ÿ˜Š pretending to be other people. We were the happiest ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š couple ๐Ÿ‘ซ we knew. And what's the point of being together if you're not ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ the happiest ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š? But Nick ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป got lazy ๐Ÿ’ค. He became someone I did not ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ agree to marry ๐Ÿ‘ฐ๐Ÿผ. He actually expected me to love โค๏ธ him unconditionally. Then he dragged me, penniless ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿšซ, to the navel of this great country ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ and found himself a newer, younger ๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿผ, bouncier cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ. You think I'd let him destroy ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž me and end up happier ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š than ever? No ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซfucking way. He doesn't โŒ get to win ๐Ÿ†. My cute โ˜บ๏ธ, charming ๐Ÿ˜‰, salt-of-the-earth Missouri guy. He needed to learn ๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ“š. Grown-ups ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿ‘ด work ๐Ÿ’ช for things. Grown-ups ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿ‘ด pay ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต. Grown-ups ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿ‘ด suffer consequences ๐Ÿ˜–.
and only 47 i'm gays in my i'm gay account

I’m so much happier now that I’m dead. Technically missing. Soon to be presumed dead. Gone. And my lazy lying shitting oblivious husband will go to prison for my murder. Nick Dunne took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. He took and took from me until I no longer existed. That’s murder. Let the punishment fit the crime. To fake a convincing murder you have to have discipline. You befriend a local idiot. Harvest the details of her hundrum life and cram her with stories about your husband’s violent temper. Secretly create some money troubles: credit cards, perhaps online gambling. With the help of the unwitting, bump up your life insurance. Purchase getaway car. Craigslist. Generic. Cheap. Pay cash. You need to package yourself so that people will truly mourn your loss. And America loves pregnant women. As if it’s so hard to spread your legs. You know what’s hard? Faking a pregnancy. First, drain your toilet. Invite pregnant idiot into your home and ply her with lemonade. Steal pregnant idiot’s urine. Voilà! A pregnany is now part of your legal medical record. Happy Aniversary. Wait for your clueless husband to start his day. Off he goes… and the clock is ticking. Meticulously stage your crime scene with just enough mistakes to raise the specter of doubt. You need to bleed. A lot. A lot, a lot. The head wound kind of bleed. A crime scene kind of bleed. You need to clean; poorly, like he would. Clean and bleed, bleed and clean. And leave a Little something behind: a fire in July? And because you’re you, you don’t stop there. You need a diary. Mínimum three hundred entries on the Nick and Amy story. Start with the fairy-tale early days: those are true, and they’re crucial. You want Nick and Amy to be likable. After that, you invent. The spending, the abuse, the fear, the threat of violence. And Nick thought he was the writer… burn it, just the right amount. Make sure the cops will find it. Finally, honor tradition with a very special treasure hunt. And if I get everything right, the world will hate Nick for killing his beautiful, pregnant wife. And after all the outrage, when I’m ready, I’ll go out on the water with a handful of pills and a pocket full of stones. And when they find my body, they’ll know: Nick Dunne dumped his beloved like garbage, and she floated past all the other abused, unwanted, inconvenient women. Then Nick will die too. Nick and Amy will be gone, but then we never really existed. Nick loved a girl I was pretending to be. “Cool girl”. Men always use that, don’t they? As their defining compliment: “She’s a cool girl”. Cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game. Cool girl is fun. Cool girl never gets angry at her man. She only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner. And then presents her mouth for fucking. She likes what he likes, so evidently he’s a vinyl hipster who loves fetish Manga. If he likes girls gone wild, she’s a mall babe who talks for football and endures buffalo wings at Hooters. When I met Nick Dunne I knew he wanted “Cool girl”. And for him, I’ll admit: I was willing to try. I wax-strippe my pussy raw. I drank canned beer watching Adam Sandler movies. I ate cold pizza and remained a size two. I blew him, semi-regularly. I lived in the moment. I was fucking game. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy some of it. Nick teased out in me things I didn’t know existed. A lightness, a humor, an ease. But I made him smarter. Sharper. I inspired him to rise to my level. I forged the man of my dreams. We were happy pretending to be other people. We were the happiest couple we knew. And what’s the point of being together if you’re not the happiest? But Nick got lazy. He became someone I did not agree to marry. He actually expected me to love him unconditionally. Then he dragged me, penniless, to the navel of this great country and found himself a newer, younger, bouncier cool girl. You think I’d let him destroy me and end up happier than ever? No fucking way. He doesn’t get to win. My cute, charming, salt-of-the-earth Missouri guy. He needed to learn. Grown-ups work for things. Grown-ups pay. Grown-ups suffer consequences.

BSD Tanabata Twitter special: Atsushi and Akutagawa parts

I thought Iโ€™d translate the dialogues featuring Atsushi and Aku (since theyโ€™re my faves) that were posted on BSD official Twitter in honor of Tanabata in Japan.

Mori: Akutagawa-kun, what a lucky coincidence seeing you here! I have a reward for you. Would you do me a favor in turn?

Akutagawa: I donโ€™t need any rewards. The only thing Iโ€™m interested in is eliminating the enemy. Give me an order and Iโ€™ll do it.

Mori: What? An enemy? No, no, thatโ€™s not it at all! I only need you to go buy something for me.

Akutagawa: โ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ.. ?

Atsushi: Kyouka-chan, Naomi-san has asked me to do some errands, would you like to come with me?

Kyouka: Errands? A mission, you mean?

Atsushi: Ahaha, no, itโ€™s not for work. Today is Tanabata and everyone will be having somen noodles for lunch, so we need to get ingredients.

Kyouka: Got it.

(the rest under the cut for length)

Keep reading

22 days till due date, 5 days till Raw London and I’m on bed rest….

…but then again bed rest means “No exercise, no heavy lifting or housework, just relax and try to enjoy it” SO Raw would definitely be relaxing, but at the same time I bet it feels like exercise for 37 weeks pregnant hormonal me. Plus Hubs is so sure that at the moment I see one of these…

…it’s instant fangirl moment followed by going into labour lol Would be a great story to tell tho, “What made you go into a labour?” “Seth, Dean and Roman”  

Things nobody tells you about late pregnancy...

• it’s PAINFUL being kicked from the inside

• you will waddle

• people treat you like you are ill/require their help and it will annoy you

• when people don’t give you special treatment/don’t help you, it will annoy you

• everything is annoying

• you always need to pee. Even when you don’t, you feel like you do

• sleep isn’t a thing any more

• you will need to buy more pillows for your bed so you can create an epic pillow fortress surrounding you in an effort to create some measly degree of comfort

• but the pillows will annoy you

• lightening crotch (exactly as it sounds - a lightening bolt of pain in your vagina) becomes more frequent and more painful and nobody ever warns you about it

• every day that you are not in labour is annoying and you will complain and verbalise your frustrations. A lot.

• you forget what it feels like to be a normal, rational, able bodied, human being. You dream of moving freely, being able to bend and stand up without making old person noises

• you forget what your vagina looks like and look forward to the day you see it again

• breathing is hard work sometimes

• you are afraid of everything: the fourth trimester, labour, waters breaking in awkward places, not realising you are in labour, how to look after a baby, are you prepared enough, what will your vagina actually look like afterwards?

• every single thing is annoying

Being pregnant with Chris Evans' baby:

Originally posted by chrisevanshh

Some parts of the pregnancy are slightly exaggerated to give more humor.

• It’s no secret, Chris has said many times he wants to be a dad and he’s looking forward to it. So, when you stand in the bathroom with the positive tests in hands, you really aren’t stressed about telling him. You’re quite excited to see his face because you love kids too.
• When you tell him you’re pregnant, he looks at you with wide eyes because he has no idea how to react: he’s probably thinking of how much he wants to kiss you for the rest of his life or asking you to marry him all over again, or even make another baby right now!
• Though, it’s not long before he reacts when he sees the five pregnancy tests. He laughs so happily as he spoons you in his arms that you can’t help but giggle and he keeps telling you he loves you so much.
• He can’t even stop kissing you or your tummy.
• The first days after the announcement, he keeps giggling with you and asks himself if it’s a dream or not. He also tries not to freak out and get nervous.
• Your families are overly happy to hear the news.
• His mother cries at this moment because her baby boy will have his own baby.
• Chris worries about his ability to be a good father, but you kiss his insecurities away and tell him he is a great father already because he wants to be a dad for so long and that’s also something he gotta learn with time and with you.
• He takes care of you all day. Every day.
• You can wake him up at 2 in the morning to eat your favorite meal.
• You both eat Starbucks’ jelly beans right after.
• Chris plans your baby’s first trip to Disney World secretly. He buys everything he needs to make sure they will love everything related to Disney!
• He is unsurprisingly protective.
• Chris grins like an idiot for hours whenever he hears the heartbeat of your baby and when he feels their very first kicks.
• - “Stop carrying me everywhere, Chris. I can walk. I’m pregnant, not sick.”
 - “I know, but I don’t want you to take a risk.”
• Chris is here for you every step of the way and assures you he loves this baby and you more than anything else.
• He realizes that marrying was the best choice he made you when your hormones are going wild.
• One day, you catch him purchasing some Patriots baby gift sets and clothing. You basically have to stop him before he can buy everything related to his favorite team in the NFL store.
• He’s still currently trying to find a Tom Brady bodysuit with “Baby Evans” flocked at the back.
• You call your mother every time something new happens during your pregnancy and when she says everything is fine, Chris calls Lisa to double check.
 - “Did you seriously call your mom?”
 - “Sweetheart, it’s just to be sure.”
• Chris smiles every time you say you look too big, but he thinks you are gorgeous as ever with this baby bump. Because you carry life, so nothing is more beautiful.
 - “Chris, why are you even staying with me? I look like a potato.”
 - “You are perfect and this the most beautiful moment of our lives. It’s our baby inside.”
 - “Okay, I trust you this time. But only because you’ve also gained weight.”
 - “That’s my gi… Wait, what?!”
• Chris sings Disney songs every night to your baby before sleep. Let’s be honest, he does this all the time.
• He wants to have a boy first just to teach him how to prank you in the future.

BonusBonus:
• He is in-between a mix of stress and joy when you go into labor. He’s there for you, though.
• You almost crush the bones of his hand when you push.
 - “Never again! I will never let you touch me ever again, Evans! Heard me?!”
 - “Don’t exaggerate, it’s- OUCH!”
 - “Please, Mrs. Evans, stop threatening your husband. You have to push!”
• Chris cries and smiles when he holds your baby for the first time.


PERMANENT TAG LIST:
@feelmyroarrrr @gallifreyansass @bicevans @ballerinafairyprincess @misschrisevans @always-an-evans-addict @kennadance14 @buckybarnesisalittleshit @helloitscrowley @captainamerica-ce @kiwi71281 @topthis808 @dead-lee-15 @the-daydreamer-girl @our-love-world @hellomissmabel @voidobsession @mrssierrarogers @redstarstan @punkrockhippiefromthefourties @angryschnauzer @fangirling-is-what-i-do-best @minstrel-axx @captainamerotica @kaitlynthehuman @juneookami @mellifluous-melodramas @sfreeborn @buckyswinterchildren @potterhead1265 @castellandiangelo @louisespecter @fvckingevans @katnisswa @justanotherfangurlz @10kindsofderp @1enchantedfantasy1 @logan8546 @thewinterpunkass - tell me if you’d like to be added. :)

All about closed comedones

What are closed comedones?

A comedo (the singular form) is a clogged hair follicle (pore) in the skin. Keratin (skin debris) combines with oil to block the follicle. A comedo can be open (blackhead) or closed by skin (whitehead), and occur with or without acne. But when most people refer to closed comedones they are references bumps like the one in the image. Non inflamed, skin coloured bumps, often found on the forehead.

Caused of closed comedones

There are many causes. Pro-inflammatory cytokines (cell signalling proteins), produced by cells lining the follicle in response to activation of the innate immune system. Free fatty acids made from sebum by acne bacteria
Overhydrated skin premenstrually, from moisturisers or in humid conditions
Contact with certain chemicals including oily pomades, isopropyl myristate, propylene glycol and some dyes in cosmetics. Rupture of the follicle by injury such as squeezing pimples, abrasive washing, chemical peels or laser treatments. Smoking – comedonal acne is more common in smokers than in non-smokers. Certain dietary factors may contribute to comedonal acne, particularly milk products and high glycaemic-index foods (sugars and fats).

How to treat from the inside out

- Stop smoking if you smoke.

- Reduce the processed sugars in your diet.

- Increase consumption of anti inflammatory foods such a leafy green veggies.

- Attampt to cut out dairy from your diet.

- Ensure you stay hydrated, drinking at least 2 litres a day so that you aren’t relying on heavy moisturisers.

How to treat with skincare products

Apply one of these once or twice a day as a thin layer.

Benzoyl peroxide
Azelaic acid
Salicylic acid
Glycolic acid

If your comedonal acne persists seek advice from your doctor or dermatologist.

Hope this helps you guys! Keep treating yo skin right

Two days ago .... I became a MOM โค๏ธ

I’m overwhelmed, in love, happy and                                                                 our baby girl is beautiful and healthy ❤️

…and she has already enjoyed her first Raw and loves to hold on to her dad’s long hair…I think she’s gonna be one fine wrestling fan while she is also the most amazing lil human we have ever met ❤️

10

└ My thoughts: Mao-chan was a lovely, courageous lady.  Thank you for your kind words Sho-kun.

Cr: NEWS every 23.06.2017