Dean | an awkward love story | Ambrose
Okay, so I just feel like Dean Ambrose was the way to go here. This one won’t be as long and nowhere near as angsty as mad love and it’s only going to be posted here. I wanna thank @writergrrrl29 for a lot of the inspo and i want to thank every single person who suggested a name, you were all amazing and supportive and that means so much to me and I really hope you all enjoy this regardless of the guy I chose.
That being said, another slightly slow burn but not too slow burn here. There will be smut eventually, just not quite yet. Lots of fluffy and cute and awkward moments and maybe even a twist or two.
WARNINGS: just two really awkward people who really like each other and eventual smut. also occasional mentions of a really low self esteemed OC and I took some things from some of Dean’s earlier Moxley promos too. Not saying they’re real or they’re not, I just thought it gave things this kind of added depth. USE OF AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER. JUST SO YOU KNOW.
The television was turned off and I looked up. My friends were all surrounding me and I bit my lip. “What?”
“Tonight is New Years Eve, girl and this is really all you’re going to do with it? Watch some show about greasy bikers?” Nikki asked me the question, a concerned look in her eyes as she sat down beside me. “My party, remember?”
“This is Sons of fuckin Anarchy. These are not just greasy bikers.. They’re greasy bikers of the sexy variety.. And there’s a really deep plot and explosions that are cool as shit and..” I stopped and exhaled quietly, my voice dropping a few octaves as I said quietly, “I don’t feel like going out, okay? I’ll be fine. Just go.”
“Nope, uh uh.. I am not going to stand here and watch you throw away a perfectly good chance to get dressed up and throw it in your ex’s face that he missed out. Even if he ain’t here, Viv, you can bet he’s not sitting at home pining over you. His ass is out and wildin out. Now get up. Get that ass dressed.” Naomi had her arm around me and I leaned against her as I sighed and shook my head. “Getting stood up at the altar is worse than getting dumped, okay? It’s like… saying you’ll never be good enough. And Peter was right.. I won’t. I’m 50 shades of fucked up and I can live with it.”
“Did she just… No.” Becky started as she sat down and then told me calmly, “Yer not da one who’s 50 shades of fucked up, et’s Peter! And we all tried ta tell ye, lass, dat he wasn’t a good man.” and Carmella nodded from nearby, Alexa looking up from her phone to speak up suddenly. “Look, I don’t like you and you don’t like me… But seeing you like this is.. it’s depressing, okay? Besides.. I happen to know there’s one guy who really, really, really wants you at Nikki’s tonight.”
“Riiight. Nice try, Bliss.” I laughed and shook my head, wiping at my eyes. “Look, I just wanna sit around with my rum and my ice cream and my greasy bikers, okay? Because I’ll only be in the way if I go. I never really seem to fit in at these things, guys, you know this…” I begged off and when Nikki and the others saw that no, I was not going to go down and party with them, they finally relented.. And I settled back in to watching Sons Of Anarchy, while getting drunk on the rum I’d bought and eating my ice cream.
A sigh escaped my lips when I looked over at my cell phone and saw that it was 11:05. I almost texted Peter just to ask him why he bailed on me, why I wasn’t good enough, what was so wrong with me that he’d see me waiting at the end of an altar and bolt like his ass was on fire in front of our friends and family, but instead, I threw the phone down in disgust with myself.
… Peter is the one with the problem… not you…
… your own mother said it best though… she’s the one who told you not to ever get your hopes up because you have so little going for you…
… but she’s a fucking narcissist…. And she thought she was the best thing alive…
… And? Everybody else didn’t? Hello, she fucked at least 3 of your past boyfriends… Guys were always using you to get to her….
…. that was then, this is now….
…. but that shit left it’s mark….
I stood and went to put the ice cream into the mini fridge and I flopped back down onto the couch, settling back in, turning up the bottle of rum as I found myself wondering how the party was going and slightly wishing I’d gone… Because being here alone, it gave me too much time to think, to revert back to this warped way I’d worked my ass off to try and get away from.
I think it was around 11:30 when I got up and turned off the tv. And then I found myself really wondering why I was even up here grieving over something that wasn’t my fault and blaming myself for it to begin with?
I mean yeah, it hurt but… Being alone right now was the absolute last thing I needed…
With that thought in mind, I went into the bathroom and threw on some black leggings, my favorite off the shoulder red tunic and my trusty combat boots. I didn’t even bother with makeup and I grabbed my leather jacket and the bottle of rum, grabbing my cell phone to call for an Uber.
The party was crowded when I shoved my way in, there were members from both rosters as well as other staff member already there. I waved to one of the girls who did my hair and makeup often and Naomi spotted me, bum rushing me. “Fuckin finally. You listen to your girls.”
“Yeah, well… I got bored without you guys.. Thought the least I could do was make an appearance. I’m not sure if I’ll stay too long, I just… Being with you guys makes me feel better.”
From behind me, Nikki tapped my shoulder and smiled, hugging me. She eyed my bottle of rum and then with a soft laugh she told me, “I would offer you something to drink but I see you decided to BYOB.”
And as I made my way deeper into the crowded party, I could have sworn I felt someone following my every move in the room with their eyes. I stopped and looked around, shrugging it off when I didn’t see anyone looking at me and finally, I found a lesser crowded area and I took a long sip of the rum and flopped down onto a very well cushioned chaise lounge, watching everybody else laugh and smile and be happy.
A time or two I felt it again, the sensation of being watched, but every time I’d try to look around, find someone looking at me, I never saw anyone, so I eventually just let it ride.. I mean with all the eye candy in the room I had to be fucked up to think anyone was wasting their time watching me, right?
That’s what I thought too..
“You could walk over there, you know.. Stop staring like an idiot.” Alexa spoke up from behind him, leaned in a doorway, picking at her nail polish. He shook his head and scoffed and Alexa lightly stamped her foot.
“Did you just stomp your foot at me?” he snickered and Alexa glared, giving him the finger. “I don’t get why it has to be her, but you’re always watching her and she makes you kind of light up, idiot. Look, if you don’t walk over there or at least say something to her tonight, I’m going to shove you into her. I don’t like her but I don’t entirely hate her and it was kind of hard, seeing her as down as she’s been lately.. I just think that maybe you’d be good for each other.” Alexa was toying with the zip on her jacket and the male’s eyes moved from his petite blonde friend to where Viv sat, sipping rum out of a bottle, headphones covertly shoved into her ears.
She looked almost as uncomfortable as he felt being at the party. She didn’t look happy like she used to either and that bothered him. If he’d had a chance, he would have kicked Peter’s skull in but his friends sort of stopped him shy of doing it.
…. not that the jerk was even good enough for her to begin with….
… and you are?….
… yeah well only pussies leave a girl at the damn altar… or screw around on ‘em with other girls constantly, tell ‘em the shit that Alexa and Becky said Peter told her…
“Earth.. Are you in there, huh?” Alexa was shaking him lightly and he shook his head, tearing his eyes off of Viv for a few minutes to glare at Alexa. “Don’t you have a date? Or somebody else to annoy tonight? Look, you’re my friend but you have got to stop doin this, okay? If it happens, it happens. If not..”
“That is not even an option, okay? You have to make some kind of move for anything to happen! Viv’s not… She’s not good at picking up on silent stares and their not so subtle meanings, okay? Look, I’ve roomed with her and I’ve heard the shit she goes through, I know how her mind is.”
“And I’m just saying, either you make a move or someone else will.. Because I know someone else who kind of likes her.”
“Who?” he demanded and Alexa shook her head. “I’ll only help you out by telling if you at least walk over and say hey.. You better hurry though because it looks like you’re not the only one watching her and the other guy is walking her way now.”
As he walked away, Alexa rolled her eyes and smirked to herself. “Easier than taking candy from an oversized manchild. And now, I’ve done my good deed for the new year. I deserve a drink.” and she skipped away to the table where the booze was located, pouring herself a drink as she watched the party around her.
Everybody was doing their own thing and I was bored. So bored.. and at least three quarters of the way to a happier and buzzed state of mind where everything, where all the shit didn’t matter. I’d shoved my earbuds in and I was listening to Bon Jovi and humming along badly offkey while whipping my head around and stopping to take occasional sips of my drink when I turned abruptly and found myself body to body with Dean Ambrose.
… wow… his chest is really firm… and his cologne is yummy… and I felt like an idiot when I realized he was talking to me. I slipped out my earbuds and my hand raised to my mouth. “Sorry, I was.. This,” I gestured to the DJ Nikki had apparently hired, “It’s not music? Yeah.. I was just kinda doing my own thing and I didn’t mean to bump into you.” my eyes darted to the bottle in his hand and I licked my lips and sipped from my own bottle.
“What’s that?” Dean nodded to my bottle and I lowered it, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand as I drawled, “Rum.. Malibu Rum. It’s kinda my go to… Nevermind, it’s dumb. What’s yours?” I eyed his bottle and to my surprise, he held it out, the ambery contents sloshing slightly over the neck of the bottle making me laugh. I took it but held out my bottle too and he eyed it warily before finally shrugging and turning it up when I turned his up. The bitterness of the whiskey set my teeth on edge and it had my throat burning and it had this strong cinnamon taste that I recognized almost instantly and smirked. “Fireball.”
Dean grimaced and held my bottle back to me, shaking his head. “Alcohol’s not supposed to be that damn sweet.”
“It’s got coconut.” I get the worst giggles when I drink, I swear and another escaped my lips followed by a quiet burp which made him snicker and just sort of stare at me a few seconds. “What?”
“Nothin, it’s nothin.. Look, I hate this shit.. Only came because I kinda told Roman and his woman I’d come out and be social and not sit in my room on New Years..” he was shuffling his feet and I found myself shoved against him when some of the others ran past, shouting and laughing, heading in the direction of the hot tub. Becky stopped long enough to ask if I wanted to go too and I shook my head, giving her the thumbs up instead.
“I’m really not in the mood to watch Nikki and the others shoving their tongues down their dates throats.” I shook my head and added quickly, “Not because I’m jealous because I’m not.” and Dean chuckled. “Do you wanna go outside? It’s really crowded in here.” I blurted it out figuring he’d make up some excuse and mysteriously vanish but instead, he chuckled and nodded. “ ‘S like I said. I only came because I promised Roman and his woman I wouldn’t spend New Years Eve alone. Dunno why it mattered.”
“Because nobody should.”
“You were gonna though.” he blurted it out and for just a second, he swore awkwardly and I bit my lip. I shrugged. “I’m kinda used to it?” we both blurted it out at the same time and I couldn’t help but laugh a little, softly.
“C’mon. We have booze and I have tunes.. We can get out of here.. That way, technically, you’re not breaking your promise to Roman, you’re with a friend… And I don’t get smashed and try and light a bar on fire and dance or something..”
“Light a bar on fire and dance, huh? When was this?” Dean eyed me intently and I shook my head. “College.” I muttered, my eyes lingering on his lips as a heated blush rose to my cheeks and I quickly tore my eyes away.
We’d left the party behind us and we were coming up on a playground, both of us quietly sipping from the bottles in our hands. I nodded to the playground and then admitted, “Sometimes, whenever we’re in a town and I find a playground I just go sit out on the swings at night? That’s weird, why the hell did I say that.. Sorry..”
Dean chuckled and shook his head, giving me a smirk that until now, I’d only seen him use when casually flirting with somebody. …. riiight because he’s being nice…. he’s not flirting with you, dork…
“Back in Ohio.. The gym I used to train in had one down the block.. Took my cousin out there a time or two and pushed her on the swingset..” Dean got this kind of sad look in his eyes and muttered something, grumbled to himself and shook his head. “That’s cool. I bet she had fun.”
“She did.. So did I.. was like shit was normal, ya know?”
“Yeah.. I think I know exactly what you mean, oddly enough.” I’d chosen a swing and sat down, Dean was sort of awkwardly standing behind me, pushing the swing now and then. “Where did you live? I mean before you got signed?”
“ This shitty little oilfield slash farming town in Texas.. My dad had a ranch and he did a lot of rodeo before the accident. Then my mom left, took me and moved us to Detroit and I was fucking miserable.” I admitted it out loud as Dean listened intently. I looked up and over at him and asked him about Ohio and he shrugged. “I was fuckin miserable too.”
“ Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be a downer.” I sighed and shook my head. “I’m really awful at this whole conversation thing?” I took a few more sips and he chuckled, shrugging. “It’s just kinda nice to have somebody to talk to.”
“Yeah, it really is.” I found myself doing it again, staring at his lips. We realized what time it was, almost 2:30 and he yawned, stretching. I did the same and we walked back to the hotel mostly in silence, me thinking I’d probably just had a really good time but I’d made things weird and awkward with the way I always seemed to make things just a little too awkward or pull the mood down.
I stood in front of my door and smiled. “I had fun. I’m going to go crash now.. I’ll, umm.. I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah, definitely.” Dean gave me a smile and after this awkward but friendly hug that I surprised myself by pulling him into, he turned and walked down the hall, going to his own room a few doors down.
I was barely in my room and flopped on the bed when my phone blew up with texts. Rolling onto my stomach, I laughed at the texts Becky sent me, before responding.
→ Yes. I just got in.
→ It was fun. We talked.
→ pretty sure he thinks I’m weird though. My awkwardness strikes again.