bullys

Okay. So, based off of the number of hateful messages (some anonymous, others not) that I have received in the last few hours, I’m just going to have to step away from all of this. I have also received a slew of hateful messages on fanfiction.net, etc. I have a child, another one on the way, and a real life. I do not have the time or patience for online harassment, suicide-baiting, telling me my children would be better of without me, etc. I just don’t.

This isn’t a matter of “letting someone win” or “giving someone what they want.” The degree of harassment I’ve experienced is not something I can continue to endure. For the safety and health of my family and myself, I will not be updating this Tumblr, nor the Reylo fanfictions I have written. It simply is not worth the vicious behavior.

Thank you so very much to the Reylo community for all the love and support you have given me. To those who have dedicated time and effort to harassing me, denigrating my written work out of hatred, etc. I simply say that I feel very sorry for you and I hope you all find happiness and peace.

Thanks for understanding that I simply cannot do this anymore.

Reylo forever and ever and canon. Amen.

Anonyme a demandé:

I have noticed that some people are 'copying' my stimming when they're around me because they never did that before and it makes me really nervous and anxious because it feels like they're making fun of me. What should I do?

Well, if these people are your friends, or people that you spend a reasonable amount of time with, then it’s more than likely that this is completely benign. They might not even notice that they’re doing it.

Being social creatures, we have a tendency to adopt the mannerisms and language of those around us. It’s an aspect of social integration and intragroup dynamics. SparkNotes has a nice summary of it here (although there’s a TW for mentions of suicide at the top of that page).

I first noticed this when I started high school - I had a friend who would almost always use the phrase “due to” in place of “because” when speaking, and sometimes this lead to some slightly strange sounding sentences (for example, “I got sunburnt on the weekend due to the fact that I forgot to wear sunscreen”). Regardless, after a little while, some of the other people in our social group began to say it too.

On the other hand, if these people aren’t your friends, then there is a chance they might be mocking you. I’ve noticed that when people mock someone’s behaviour, they will often mimic and slightly exaggerate the behaviour, and this can be a useful tell.

If this is the case, my advice is to ignore them. They’re demonstrating themselves to be small minded and ignorant, and they don’t deserve your time, energy or attention.

- Prue

Autistic memories.

What’s the earliest memories you have that can be linked to autism?

For example:

I didn’t speak until I was four. Not a memory but it is a fact. My mom got my ears checked, but I was hearing fine.

I do remember my favorite part of recess was the swings. I would swing as high as I could and sing to the wind because I thought the wind was alive and could hear me. I think I was verbally stimming. I would make sounds and call it opera. And I would jump off the swings.

I didn’t have many friends and didn’t know how to socialize very well. Though at the time I thought I was broken. I was made fun of a lot and for a while I didn’t even register it as being bullied. I didn’t know people were making fun of me.

I had a speech impediment (and still kind of do). I had to go to speech therapy. I talked 200 words per minute and stammered a lot. And I do remember when I had to talk sometimes sounds didn’t come out and someone else would answer the question instead. Even when I knew the answer.

The first special interest that I can remember clearly enough was probably sponge bob. But whales lasted for three years. It went through third grade. I don’t know if it started in third grade or not. And it was probably for more years. I was small and I carried around a big book about whales that I had to hold with both arms. I remember it being heavy but I took it everywhere anyways. I liked to say I knew everything about whales because I knew whales float. I drew them everywhere too.

I didn’t know I was autistic until I was 17? Or maybe early 18? Time is weird. There are more memories but I’m only going to list these.

But yah, do you have any memories of your autistic little self?

The Disease

Can anyone tell me why my body is insufficiently protected from a 22-40nm virus, but when I STAB MY ARM I make it out fine in a couple days… Sowwy. I didn’t mean to blow up like that. I just was thinking a small organism with only one goal in its life: (the term life is used loosely because viruses do not meet all requirements of life) to destroy your body. And yet it succeeds for a while. If you are strong you win, if you are not then… well another blog for a different time. Then i think (being a revolutionary) why can’t we learn from these little buggers and follow their strategy: lysogenic cycle the crap outta ‘em. Do what they do: attack from within. If we have something worth fighting for, we dismantle it’s core and break through. We CAN WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m revolutionthroughthemind and I approve this message.