bullshit test

Murderous Meme-age
  • *Fan and Test Tube are carrying Lightbulb, she has a giant crack down the center of her form, starting in between her eyes*
  • Paintbrush: *facepalms* Oh my gooood, what happened now?
  • Test Tube: She cracked herself dabbing.
  • Fan: *nods*
  • Paintbrush: Dabbing????
  • Fan: She was trying to do a reverse-360 dab off of a tabletop....it failed.
  • Paintbrush: You got anything to say for yourself, "Dab Master"?
  • Lightbulb: Dab life is dangerous....Only you can prevent dabtastrophe-
  • Paintbrush: Lightbulb, this isn't a commercial, you cracked your face!
  • Lightbulb: It was worth it...I looked so cool.
  • Paintbrush: Both of you, tie her arms together, she is banned from dabbing now.
I can't smoke for like a whole month so I can pass a drug test to get this new warehouse job. It's bullshit that I have to pass the test because I smoke medical marijuana. Like my doctor sent me to a specialist that I had to pay out of pocket just to get medicinal weed... and a job still takes it as me being a druggie ... like it's okay if I was prescribed something that makes me mega drowsy or something. But fuck if it's marijuana because she has epilepsy!! Bullshit 😒 it's not like I'm going to be lighting up a blunt at work!!! I only smoke when I'm home at night or when I'm gonna go to sleep so that way my body and mind are relaxed and I can sleep without worrying about my very painful muscle spams I get. And to help with my insomnia. Fuck dude.
The signs during Finals Week

Aries: study guru. They’re very good at being organized and know their own study methods like the back of their hand

Taurus: naps instead of studying, then regrets this and crams obsessively for their exams

Gemini: Up until 4 am every night. Coffee is their best friend.

Cancer: is tired constantly. Hands in a paper that they finished two hours before it was due.

Leo: is probably actually dead

Virgo: Sobs in the library, surrounded by stacks of books and coffee cups

Libra: counts down the minutes until break. Fills this time with video games and sporadic studying

Scorpio: haha stUDYING? I’M FINE. DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT ME. NUMBERS DON’T DEFINE ME *sobs grossly*

Sagittarius: actually somehow stays sane and gets enough sleep and good grades hOW THE FUCK

Capricorn: doesn’t study because they think they know the material, then gets to the test and bullshits the entire thing

Aquarius: studies because they know they don’t know any of the material, then gets to the test and bullshits the entire thing

Pisces: haha studying? nah. a two hour nap actually sounds more productive

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FINALS! WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

Syrian refugees

Dear neo-conservatives,
So you’re saying that Muslim terrorists are so determined to attack us on our soil that they would pretend to be Syrian refugees in order to sneak into the US. And therefore some of you suggested having a “christianity test” be part of the screening process. But I’m just wondering why those very determined Muslim terrorists who are able to fake being refugees wouldn’t also be able to fake being christians? Can’t be that hard… you guys do it all the time.

PruCan Week

Day Five:

I am stringing these chapters together into a single love story that takes place over twenty years.  I chose ‘Seasons’ for the fifth day of the challenge.  The characters are twenty one and twenty two years old now.

Changing of the Seasons

Matthew stumbled out of his lecture, wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck, and searched the wilting trees and lawns of their campus for his boyfriend.  The university was a collection of big, old stone houses with stained glass windows and creaking wooden doors and newer, sleeker facilities crowded around a shared courtyard.  They usually met in the Commons between classes.

Gilbert waved at him from beneath a sprawling, gnarled oak with initials and love letters carved into it.

“Hey, there.”

“Hey yourself.”

Matthew flopped down beside him and kicked his backpack into the pile of red and orange leaves Gilbert had collected. 

Keep reading

  • teacher: test now. *passes out tests*
  • me: *stands up and grabs sides of desk* OBJECTION!!!!!!!!!
  • me: *breathes heavily*
  • class: ...
  • teacher: is there something you'd like to sa-
  • me: THIS TEST IS BULLSHIT! AND I HAVE EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THIS CLAIM!
  • *presents classwork*
  • me: the questions and notes on this classwork and homework is completely unrelated to that on the test. *points*
  • me: MAKING THEM COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO WHAT WE NEED TO LEARN!
  • teacher: ...
  • class: ...
  • teacher: sit the fuck down
  • me: ok

Drug tests are bullshit. Weed is the least harmful drug you can take and yet it stays in your system the longest. You could get coked out of your mind and pass a test in a couple days. But smoke a couple bowls a day and your dirty for a month or longer. Shit is fucked.

The Signs As Things My Girlfriend Has Said
  • Aries : "ok but like...meet me in the fucking pit???"
  • Taurus : "I JUST DRANK 6 CUPS OF CHOCOLATE MILK IN A ROW AND NOW MY TUMMY HURTS"
  • Gemini : "I was at school today and I bullshitted my math test with memes. wanna see?"
  • Cancer : "YOUR FRIEND JUST FOLLOWED ME ON INSTAGRAM I AM NOW ACCEPTED BY YOUR SECRET CIRCLE!!!!!"
  • Leo : "babe, we need to post a cute photo of us on tumblr so people can see how aesthetic we are!"
  • Virgo : "you have eaten so much frosting today please stop. this is wHY YOU FEEL SICK"
  • Libra : "I don't really like Aries' that much tbh"
  • Scorpio : "girl, what that tongue do?"
  • Sagittarius : "remember that time 2 years ago when I attack hugged you and you fell on the concrete ground? yeah, I'm sorry about that"
  • Capricorn : "I AM AGGRESSIVELY TYPING BECAUSE I HAVE TO FINISH THIS PAPER I AM SO SORRY, BABE"
  • Aquarius : "you meme so much to me"
  • Pisces : "I'm literal pisces trash tbh"

Okay tumblr, I have something to share.

It FINALLY did a Meyers-Briggs test and was told that I am an INTP.

I refused to believe this. Kylie told me this was typical INTP behaviour. 

I started to research reasons why personality testing is bullshit. Kylie told me this was typical INTP behaviour. 

I decided to stop thinking about this and focus on something else. I demanded that we pretended I never took the test. Kylie told me this was typical INTP behaviour.

I started to secretly do more research on what being an INTP means while feeling shame. Kylie told me this was typical INTP behaviour.

I found out that only 2% of women are INTP and suddenly warmed up to the idea of being one. Kylie told me this was typical INTP behaviour.