bulls losing

Saving Date Night

Prompt: Would you be willing to do a Bull oneshot? If not, just ignore me lol. Maybe something where you’re friends with him (and maybe sorta like him lol but you’d never admit that) and you mention how he’s always so uptight, so you set him up on a date with a friend of yours. The date goes bad because he says the friend just wasn’t his type. You ask what his type his, and he’s like “…you.” And then smut?

Requester: maybe-mikala

Words: 2,702

Warnings: Smut

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“What? You didn’t think I’d just leave and you’d never hear from me again, did you? You are my dearest friend, perhaps my only friend. That will never change no matter where we are.”

Red

Time travel was a funny thing.

At the time, he had been so focused on the famed Inquisitor – scratch that, not true, focused on Alexius (selfishly) – that he hadn’t really processed what he had seen.

Three thralls of the Inquisition, throwing their lives to a demon horde so Dorian and their leader could escape. Well, not so much Dorian, even if the one had called him pretty. Mockingly and full of suspicion, but it did make his stomach flutter to be complimented after spending weeks camping in the wilderness. Acquaintance with the baths of Redcliffe’s inn was a recent addition.

And he was charming, for a misplaced freak of a Qunari in the south. He retained his humor while locked up in a cell with parasitic minerals jutting out of his flesh, which said something, Dorian supposed. He kept it together better than the dwarf. And the redhead, oh, she’d practically wanted to shoot an arrow right between Dorian’s eyes. Someone who shared his flippancy in misery was to be valued. He had wanted to laugh at the Qunari’s quips along the way, but common knowledge dictates that laughing too much at a man’s jokes shows interest.

Privately, now, he wishes he laughed, to have made the Bull feel a little more appreciated before his sacrifice.

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Last at the Office (Jason Bull x Reader)

hello, it’s your favourite anon again 😂 this time i return the favour (sorry if there are any spelling mistakes - it’s late and i should be sleeping already) here you go.  it’s short, I know, but just imagine this 😍

Written by the lovely @dramaticdonuts 

Fandom: Bull

Pairing: Jason Bull x Reader


You are standing in front of the screens at TAC – it has been a long day and, as far as you know, everyone already went home. It seems as if this is going to be first case TAC is going to lose, but Bull isn’t worried about it. 

“It will be a fun challenge,” he said when he accepted it.

He was right about the challenge part – the entire team will agree on that, this case is uncrackable – but Bull is the only one having fun. 

The muscles in your back have been tense all week, but nothing seems to help. You’ve been practically living at the office since the start of the case, working every minute you spent awake. Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice the footsteps coming your way.

You didn’t notice you weren’t the only one left at the office, and you didn’t notice that the one person left was standing right behind you, so close you could almost feel his breath in your neck. He put his big hands on your shoulders, and you jumped up. 

“Don’t worry, it’s just me,” Jason whispers in your ear. 

“Jason,” you breathe out, “you scared me.” “Yeah, I noticed that,” he chuckles and starts massaging your shoulders – your muscles instantly relaxing under his touch.

Unwillingly you let out a soft moan – it is the first time since you can relax since the start of this case. 

“That good, huh?” Jason asks, although he already knows the answer. He moves his hands lower, massaging every muscles very deeply, until both his hands are at the small of your back. He places his hands on your sides, softly tugging to turn you around. You are now facing him, and you see his biting on his lower lip – just softly, barely noticeable

You sigh deeply at the sight of it. One of his hands reaches up and caresses the back of your neck, the other pulling you closer to him at your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to reach him. “Oh Jason,” you say, and press your lips against his. He kisses you maddeningly slowly – his wet, hot mouth against yours. You feel his tongue pressing against your lips, asking for entrance, and you softly suck on it.

You hear him moan softly into the kiss – a sound so beautiful you could listen to it forever. 

——

You guys might have noticed a lovely anon sent me this the other day and I posted the parts of it. Well, here it is in full.

Thank you SO MUCH, anon. You’re so lovely for sharing this with me.

If you guys ever wanna share fics with me that you want to be posted on my blog, send them in! I promise I don’t bite. I love seeing beautiful things shared ;) 

—-

Tags: @a-court-of-stydia

a tourist goes to spain and sees the bullfight. after the bullfight, he goes to a restaurant right next to the stadium. the menu is all in spanish, but the tourist doesn’t speak any spanish, so he asks the waitress “hey, what is your best dish?”
the waitress says “oh, that’s the #4. it’s delicious”
so the tourist orders the #4. it’s a large meat dish he does not recognize, but he digs in anyway, and finds that it truly is just as delicious as she had said. at the end of his meal, he has the waitress bring the chef over, and he asks him “wow! that was delicious! what was that?”
“bull testicles,” says the chef, “fresh from the stadium next door”
so that’s kind of weird, but the food was so good that the tourist decides hes going to the same place for lunch the next day. he orders the same thing, but this time, when it comes to him, it’s only half the size! the tourist calls the chef back over to the table to explain. “hey, whats up with this? yesterday, you gave me so much, but now so little!”
“oh, but sir,” the chef says, “the bull does not always lose!”

youtube

Because my URL is fitting I’d like to provide you meta for the Solas x Bull chess dialogue. Explained for those who don’t know chess in the slightest. Spoiler warning and text heavy.

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maybethings  asked:

The plot fairy waves a wand and *KERPOOF* - everyone in Skyhold switches bodies with someone else.

(from this post. prompts closed, just catching up!)

- While most everyone panics at the prospect of spending a day in another person’s body, Leliana and Josephine are quite calm and collected. Knowing one another so well as they do, the oddity of the situation brings out some impulses from their less-than-reputable younger years in the Game. They use the opportunity to shuffle loose their duties, instead taking up one another’s posts and maintaining that no, they were not affected, and yes, they expected everyone to continue on as normal. They have most of Skyhold fooled for hours, despite Leliana signing Josephine’s name as “Lady PillowBosoms” and Josephine attempting to dispatch Leliana’s agents to catch every single one of the cats in Skyhold. To this day, Knight-Captain Rylen maintains that watching the possessed spymaster giggle like a schoolgirl was one of the most terrifying moments of his life.

- Cassandra takes one look at her new body and blames Varric immediately. She doesn’t know how he did it, but she knows he’s responsible somehow, despite his protests that he’s not exactly thrilled with the situation either. Also, staring up at him is infuriating. He complains that her legs and arms are too long, walking like a baby deer and bumping into everything he passes. She scolds him even as she herself tumbles headlong into a pile of crates, cursing his low center of gravity and the imbecile whose decision it was to stack them so poorly. There is one bright spot to her suffering, however, as Varric decides to sleep through the majority of the day and so misses the delivery of his latest novel’s print sample. As stealthily as she can, Cassandra tucks it under her arm and attempts to walk away with it, doing her best impression of the dwarf’s smug and confident gait. (She looks like a drunkard, but no one stops her.)


- Solas is grateful that he inhabits another elf, at least, but his luck stops there. Sera spends the first hour spewing a loud fountain of obscenities, flailing and pacing a hole in the rotunda floor while Solas waits calmly on the sofa. She sneers as she looks at herself with crossed legs and folded hands, telling him to ‘change my face.’ He asks for more instruction, and she simply yells at him to not look so stuck up. He counters by pointing out her own out-of-character behavior, and requests that she be more mindful of how she appears while in his body. A light goes off behind her eyes, and all Solas can do is groan as she takes off sprinting around the keep, inviting people to polish her egg head and flipping everyone with a title the bird. He is far too lethargic to stop her; being in a body cut off from magic is tantamount to losing one of his most important senses. Fortunately, that same handicap helps him – Sera accidentally summons a wisp in her antics, and is traumatized enough by the tiny ball of light to be quite sullen and docile for the rest of the day.

- Dorian is thrilled, at first. He’s toned and in fine shape, but it’s another matter entirely to have muscle. Cullen drags his palms down his now-mustachioed face as Dorian admires his new physique in the mirror, everything above the waist long since discarded. He invites Cullen to do the same, insisting that his own body is no less a work of art, but Cullen firmly declines and instead rubs his temples, occasionally tapping his ears and frowning. Dorian instantly knows what he’s hearing: the thrum of Skyhold’s magic. It is constant, and though he had quickly become accustomed to it himself, he sees how it can be maddening to those not trained to tune it out. He encourages Cullen to meditate while he keeps himself otherwise occupied, promising not to do anything too outrageous. He doesn’t get the chance, however, as no sooner does he re-dress the commander’s body than a searing pain strikes through his skull, and the palms of his hands begin to bead in cold sweat. For long moments, he is unable to stand, and Cullen is at his side, calling out a pattern for him to breathe. Between the symptoms and the magic, both realize, they would need to work together if they were to make it out of this unscathed.

- Cole enjoys being big. He’s never been so big, so solid, so much to be seen. He was always small and out of view. People smile when they see him – see Bull – walking across the grass. He smiles too, and waves. This body is made for war, but it is friendly, and he has never felt so accepted and warm. He apologizes to the objects he bumps with his horns, making sure not to offend. He wants to take care of this body, to use it well in the time he is given. He is largely oblivious to Bull, who is essentially losing his shit internally while maintaining his practiced veneer of calm. This spirit shit is way out of his realm of expertise. And he’s so tiny – damn, his hands can’t even wrap all the way around a tankard – and don’t even get him started on the disappearing thing. Sometimes he’ll blink and suddenly be in the garden, or the chapel, or the pantry closet, and just when he thinks he’s got it under control, he’s off on a fucking roof somewhere. Still, it creeps the shit out of Krem, so at least he’s got entertainment.

- Vivienne is positively horrified at the way Blackwall sits in her body. His posture is atrocious, years of living alone or in a company of soldiers no excuse to lollop about like a throw rug. Any and all attempts to correct him last for precious few minutes before he’s slouching again, and it simply will not do. She rummages – delicately, of course, and with purpose – through one of her trunks and unearths a training corset she had worn in her youth. The terror on Blackwall’s face as she instructs him to stand and lift his arms is oddly rewarding, though she appreciates his obedience. With her body safely laced and strapped into proper posture, she leaves him on her chaise and decides to do them both a favor while she has the chance. Using perfumed oils and delicate scissors, she sets to work on manicuring the mess that is his beard, though it is made phenomenally more difficult by his plate-sized and calloused hands. Still, there is a handsome jawline worth salvaging beneath the brush, and she snips and combs it into something manageable. Blackwall might have protested… if he were able to breathe.

cloudafro  asked:

Hi I just saw your post and I'd like to ask, what is Bioware not doing (or, what can they be doing better?) in regards to LGBT+ representation? Out of curiosity's sake, thanks!

hi! i hope u don’t mind if i publish this ask bc just. i have words about bioware’s treatment of their lgbt+ characters.

i mean. they’re clearly trying to improve but at the same time  it kind of bothers me how the people at bioware keep patting themselves on the back for ~all inclusive~ in their representation, because right now it’s not enough for me. i’m p sure it’s not enough for a whole bunch of lgbt+ fans, either.

i’m going to list my main points in bulletpoints bc holy hell, somewhere along the way i completely lost all of my chill n the list became really long. so idk. go grab yourself some snacks n get comfortable, because this? this might take a while.

  • nearly all of the bi, pan & gay characters are coded as The Other (assassins, bards, characters who are pariahs in their communities, spies, rebels and misfits, etc.), while all the “good”, morally upstanding characters are f/m romance options. hell, the only straight romance option in da2 just happens to be a fucking chantry boy in shining armor.
  • there’s also the fact most of the straight romance options are usually the ones super important to the plot, like morrigan, solas and alistair. hell, if you romance alistair in da:o you can marry him and become the queen of ferelden. meanwhile leliana is super easy to miss unless you drop by the tavern in lothering, and you can fucking kill zevran when you first meet him.
  • f/m romances take priority in general over f/f and m/m romances. solas and cullen’s romances weren’t originally supposed gendergated, but the  m/m options were cut due to “““time constraints”““.
  • lack of promotional material for f/f and m/m pairings. u can see m!hawke & extremely whitewashed isabela and m!inquisitor & josie kissing in the trailers tho.
  • holy smokes batman, let’s talk about how krem’s character is treated in da:i. like… bioware literally gave us the option to ask krem all these really invasive n transphobic question without like. zero consequences. you don’t lose approval from bull, you don’t lose the chargers, there’s literally no repercussions to you treating him poorly. i didn’t even have the heart to exhaust all of his dialogue options, because a lot of them are really fucking gross (i could’ve sworn that one of the dialogue options literally reads something along the lines of “but why are you trying to pass?”).
  • bioware hates queer women.
  • no really tho, bioware hates queer women. like, they really fucked up in da:o, where the only other queer women besides leliana are fucking branka and marjolaine.
  • there’s also the fact that how the writers treat sera in da:i like. she’s literally the only companion you can kick out whenever you please, and the option to kick her out is literally in the same place where everyone else’s romance starting flirt is.
  • like. the writers literally gave zero fucks about sera or her romance. her sexuality isn’t addressed in the game at all & her romance is nothing but talking, while the other romances get extra scenes with plenty of intimate moments, while sera’s is just… talking. and talking. and even more talking. and an endless line of sexual remarks, ableism and barely concealed disgust from the other companions.
  • this might be going a bit of topic, but just. the next time you play da:i, do me a favor and compare how the narrative treats cole and sera’s neuroatypicalness. like. the player’s opinion of cole aside, the narrative clearly treats him in a more positive light, whereas sera is just. the game tries so hard to portray her as this selfish, unreasonable and unpleasant person who never makes any sense, and like. as a neuroatypical lesbian it’s just. it’s really fucking unsettling and distressing for me to watch.
  • this is a really good post that gets more in dept about bioware’s treatment of queer women, but yeah. bioware literally doesn’t care about f/f romances.

i think those are the biggest issues i can think of from the top of my head, but there are like ?? a bunch of other things that bother me as well. like the fact that anders’ writer made a conscious decision to erase his relationship with karl if you romance him with a female hawke, bc apparently him telling f!hawke about him and karl was “ooc”, lmao. never mind the fact he brings their relationship up immediately after he’s had mercy kill his former lover so like. he’s obviously not in a place where he’s looking for a new relationship, so it makes literally zero sense for anders to hide his relationship with karl from f!hawke.

god, idk. i just wish bioware would take a second to consider why their f/m romances differ from their f/f and m/m the way they do now. like. they really should think why their lgbt+ characters are coded as the other 99% of time while the straight characters are shining chantry types. granted, josephine’s romance is a nice change of pace from this and they handled her character really well, but otherwise i’m just. really not impressed with the way things are now.

like. i’m not saying that they should make all of their romances identical or anything like that just. maybe consider hiring a queer woman to write a f/f romance instead of handing the lesbian characters to a straight guy. and idk, maybe, just maybe, they should dial down w/ the fucking transphobia n cissexism if they add other trans characters into the future games ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I have this headcanon that the Inquisitor picks their party like a dodgeball captain picking a team. 

All of the companions lined up and ready to go, and the Inquis just striding up and down the line.  

Niah just picked Bull first, so you know he would be all cocky about it, cheering loud and doing that “Oooh oooh oooh” thing boys do that sounds like they are barking (why do they do that?  Its a mystery). 

So Bull crosses over from the line to stand behind Niah, and then she picks Viv. and Bull is just like: YEEEEEAH!  MADAME DE FER! and Viv gracefully glides over all “Yes, thank you my dear” doing the royal wave or something else real classy.    

Sera and Varric are just super sour about the line up because they’re the kids that never get picked because the Inquisitor is an archer too…

Dorian and Solas keep score over who gets picked more because good natured rivalry is fun.

And Blackwall is that really cheerful guy who is chock full of team spirit (to the point where its just the tiniest bit annoying) and really, he’s just happy to be there.

And then Niah is like: and Cassandra! (who is smirking because of course she is going? Was there ever any doubt? Niah takes her everywhere they are BFFS). And Bull just fucking LOSES it because THIS IS THE DRAGON KILLING PARTY ARE WE GOING DRAGON KILLING BOSS? ARE WE ARE WE ARE WE? 

Simply everything that you’d want in a player, to me he’s the greatest human being currently in the NBA & more so in Sports. I’m going to miss him, I’ve been watching Bulls games since he was drafted. That’s when I really started to enjoy basketball, for me personally he was the greatest Bulls player(obviously not the best).

What a tremendous person who continues to live a tremendous life. He’s faced so much & in turn given just as much to Sudan, Chicagoans, and Bulls fans. He’s been in a Bulls uniform since I began to become a fan. Since the Baby Bulls era..win lose or draw I’ve always seen this guy play, I’ve never missed a game ever & I was rewarded with being able to appreciate Sweet Lu when no one cared about our team.

It’s strange & I’m saddened, I knew we had to do this but it doesn’t help at all. I hope I see him in a Bulls uniform 1 last time & I hope he loves us enough to return here and make us his home for good, hope you the best.

ficlet: under the table

@chaoslindsay prompted on twitter: under the table handjobs. nsfw (surprise), 2000 words. Nebulous modern AU.

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An hour to closing. Faces blur in the shifting lights, washed out with tiredness and alcohol, giddy. And there’s Dorian, laughing, dragged through the crowd by Sera; no drinks in evidence.

“It’s a fucking bear-pit over there,” she says, slipping her phone back into her pocket after a quick glance, a disappointed face smoothed over fast. “Maybe Dorian’s good with getting eaten up, but some of us aren’t into big hairy men. Drinks at my place after instead, right?”

“What,” the Bull says, “not going to get laid?”

Sera sighs heavily. “Just not the same. Adaar’s lot were here last time. Nothing else measures up. Get it? ‘Cause, like: woof.”

Shokrakar is indeed a fine figure of a woman. The Bull knows her, from before. Good to know she’s doing alright, though he wouldn’t have said so a few years ago.

“Nothing to do with Dagna, then,” Dorian says. “You’re not mooning and checking for texts ten times a minute.”

“I’ll moon you, you arse,” Sera says, and is half way up onto the table ready to make good when the Dorian yanks her down again, catches her unsteadily and turns his forward motion into an elegant dip, like he meant it.

“You, my friend, are inebriated,” Dorian says.

“Psht,” Sera says. “Takes one to know one. How come you can still say your fancy words.”

“I’m not nearly drunk enough to lose those,” Dorian says, as though he ever does. He has been drinking lightly, though. “Come on, get up. You aren’t particularly light.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sera says. “Lighter than your boyfriend. Bet you let him sleep on top of you.”

He does. Had, the few times they’ve actually passed out together. Loves the Bull’s weight over him.

“Sera,” Dorian says. “Go and dance, would you? Kiss someone inappropriately. Have fun.”

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